: depression vs. sadness: the power of mincing words. Sadness strips you raw. Depression muffles and muddles. When you respect the difference, you're closer to the cure. SHARPEN YOUR LEXICON, READ HERE.

: making space for creative credo. My decision to close the comments on WhiteHotTruth stirred a few pots and sparked a few dialogues. READ MY CREDO, and find out why I chose to keep it lean and clean.

: your permission slip from the universe. I've got the Goddess of Permission on speed-dial, and she's got a message for you. AND YOU. AND YOU. CLICK HERE FOR FULL PERMISSION.

sightings + soul merch

: business week, baby. Remember that righteous "pay what you can" for the FIRE STARTER SESSIONS birthday party? Business Week thought it was pretty groovy, too! READ the Business Week article from Chris Guillebeau HERE.

: save the dates. I've got a bevy of upcoming events in Vancouver, New York City, and Seattle. Find out where I'm gonna ROCK THE MIC and get your RSVP on.

: true strengths + the metrics of ease. Now you can own a mini-spark of THE FIRE STARTER SESSIONS: True Strengths + the Metrics of Ease.

This chapter is a dense collection of musings, action steps, worksheets, videos and resources...all for $20. Yes, sir. Yes, ma'am. Yes, you can.

"This chapter is a BEAUTY — such a kick start.
Your words give me permission to be awesome."
- Sas Lockey

e·qua·nim·i·ty
–noun
mental or emotional stability or composure, esp. under tension or strain; calmness; equilibrium.

Origin: aequ, even, plain, equal + anim, mind, spirit, feelings
Synonyms: serenity, self-possession, aplomb.
Antonyms: panic, disquiet, discomposure, agitation.

GOT BOUNDARIES?
Self respect. Not suffering fools. Not throwing pearls before swine. Being seen, heard, felt. Speaking up for yourself. Original Voice.
Radical self care. Authenticity. Self-soothing. Practice. Ritual. Honouring your needs so you can honour other's. Self referencing. Proudly particular.

All great concepts. Essential to wholeness. Critical for self expression, creativity, and dignity. Doorways to consciousness.

And...potential love-blockers.

YOU KNOW THE TYPE: They've worked so hard to get this far that the world just isn't good enough. They have their issues in check. They have special food requests. They're rather sensitive. You have to make special trips for them. When they talk last in meetings, it's likely to run overtime. They've crafted a system of hard-won self-help philosophies that seemingly entitles them to accommodations wherever they go. They're really annoying.

But wait. Back to me, me, moi....

I've spent so many hours in psychotherapy, and retreats, and boardrooms clarifying my "needs" vs. "wants" vs. "the hungry ghost" vs. "healthy expectations" that when I "surrender" to someone else's "way" it can feel like a stick in my spokes of dignity (and I paid a lot for that dignity.) Such is the foible of Western spirituality. Me first, You next.

But at this point, I'm tender and tough enough to know what love is and isn't. And...

Sometimes, the most enlightened, classy, and loving thing you can do is shut up and put up.

You eat the meat they serve even tho' you're a vegetarian.
You take the tacky gift; you find the common ground in your opposing politics; you smile, darling. And here's the thing: you mean it when you do it.
You suspend being right, or more evolved, or protected, and you intend loving equanimity - because you can.

You accept and flex because it expands you - and that's only good.
You soften because it feels really amazing for everyone involved - guaranteed.
You say thank you because elegance makes the world a better place.

When you become the conduit for graciousness you get stronger, truer, freer and more fiercely alive.

Which is the whole reason we create boundaries in the first place.

. . . . . . . .

NEWSY BITS

Yay! The Fire Starter Sessions Pay-What-You-Can-Day extravaganza made BusinessWeek.com! READ THE ARTICLE.

I'm in the World-Changing Writing Workshop-In-A-Box! It's dark in here, but there's lots of great company. CHECK IT OUT.

VANCOUVER: I'm speaking at the Get Shifted event on September 9. GET SHIFTED.

What you call yourself matters.
Words send signals, labels are magnetic.
Your soul deserves accuracy.

MedicinalMarzipan recently asked me:

You distinguish yourself as a writer vs. blogger, can you elaborate on that point? And I said:

I loath the word blog. It’s not pretty. But we’re stuck with it. That’s an aside, really.

Most specifically, I philosophize, and I mostly do that in writing, and I mostly present that on the internet. That’s the Big Real of what I do, and what so many of us do. We’re bigger than our “posts” and “tweets” and when you keep your eye on that, when you let your definitions of yourself be deeply accurate, it influences your creative approach.

I'm a philosopher, which for me, is more accurate than teacher, because "philosopher" connotes both sagacity + continuing exploration.
I'm a strategist, 'cause I sure as hell am too opinionated to be a coach. (Not that brilliant coaches don't have mighty opinions. And BTW, I think everyone should have a coach.)
I'm a mama, which is just mo' fun and sexy than mother, and it's more specific than parent, because my parenting is distinctly, pronouncedly feminine.
I'm a writer. It doesn't matter where my stuff is published - pixelated on the internet, printed in books, or stamped on notecards. I write. For a living/loving even.

I'm as fascinated by what someone does as by what they say they do.

Like this sweet guy at a workshop, "By day I'm a Refuse Manager, which is just a fancy title the city gives me for Garbage Man. I actually prefer Garbage Man, you know? By night I'm a stock trader and student of eastern mythology. I'm a seeker, really. Yeah, a Seeker." Clearly, he's seeking treasures, not garbage.

Labels are a necessary and unavoidable function of most cultures. We need them like we need traffic lights and handshakes.

Recognize if you've outgrown your "title".
Deepen your claim, or lighten it right up.
Carve out your own personal lexicon. Snug, and radiant.
Educate people in who you are.
We want to know, for real.

. . . . . .

INTERVIEWS

Read the full Medicinal Marzipan interview here.

COOL STUFF!
Missed the live version of the World Changing Writing Workshop? CLICK HERE, because now you can get it In-A-Box! And pssst...I got voted the #1 Speaker from the series! Yay!

GET STOKED!

True Strengths + The Metrics of Ease is Session 3 in THE FIRE STARTER SESSIONS. One of the most popular chapters, you can get it now as a mini-media sparklet, a warm up for the mondo inferno.

"This chapter is a BEAUTY — such a kick start.
Your words give me permission to be awesome."
- Sas Lockey

$20 bucks, baby. And when you're hot for more, you can put the cost of the chapter toward the full-tilt FIRE STARTER SESSIONS program.

>> CLICK HERE to BUY True Strengths + The Metrics of Ease

>> or click here for more details

you have permission to

: not finish reading books that you're not really enjoying. Don't force it, close it.
: walk out of movies that suck (and hey, if you leave in the first twenty minutes, you can get your money back.)
: let it go to voicemail (especially during dinner, or snuggling, or watching So You Think You Can Dance?)
: give birthday gifts anytime of the year (which means you can be late or early and you can give yourself time to find just the right gift.)
: talk shit about WalMart (even if they do have the economic power of a small country.)
: cut the obligations cords that are driven by guilt.***
: pursue your own agenda.
: own next to nothing, live on a mattress, read and write and make love all day with no other responsibilities***
: return crappy products to their crappy manufacturers (because you can vote with your dollars.)
: leave your current business model so you can go do something bigger than you***
: tell your kids when you think that something an authority figure told them is bullshit (you need to be in solidarity with your child, not the so-called grown ups.)
: quit your job, even if you just started two weeks ago, or just got a raise, or are seemingly indispensable.
: get yourself off even, if you have a partner.
: have some secrets.
: cut out the elements of your business that you don't totally LOVE. The parts that 90% of the time make you say, "WHY am I doing this? I don't WANT to do this." ***
: give away/recycle/get rid of stuff, stuff, stuff sentimental stuff that special people gave you (your home is for you, not them); stuff that doesn't make you feel good even, if you spent a lot of money on it; stuff that has intense memories attached to it; stuff!
: say no to "free" stuff, like swag bags at fancy events and novelty erasers and pom-pom pens from the bank. (Because the only thing in life that's free is love.)

you have permission to

: fail, and fail again.
: to succeed, wildly, more than your neighbours, more than your folks, more than you thought was possible.
: be rich and "spiritual"
: be broke AND generous
: leave work early, get some ice cream, and sit in the hot tub at the gym***
: charge what you're worth***
: focus more on creating your soul job and less on finding a ho' job.***
: sleep! sleep in, nap, sleep.
: earn a living knitting for charity.***
: relax. To let go of the growing to-do list in your head. To release the need to get it "just right."***
: to dance.
: go bra-less or underwear free.
: give it all to charity.
: check your email whenever the hell you want.
: start now, without the degree, without the funding, without knowing exactly where you're going.
: sell your house to afford a big trip to India (a friend of mine did just that, no regrets.)
: walk away.
: fall in love.
: eat dessert first.

you have permission to
: not ever feel the need for permission.***

PS...The Goddess of Compassion, Quan Yin, also emailed me. She and The G' of Permish are a rad' team when they ride together. Quan Yin just wanted me to make sure she gets repp'ed in the mix: quit responsibly, say Fuck off with compassion in your heart, liberate with love, and cut clean when you need to use your sword. And when you can, do what you say you're going to do, or announce when you can't with deftness and care.

And then Ms. Permissive emailed me to say she gives you permission to whatever, however, because ultimately, it's all progress. I asked the Deities to take their debate off-line. Your liberation isn't their business anyway.

*** = permission requests. click on the asterisks to see who has been granted extra-special permission.

. . . . . . . .
ANNOUNCEMENTS, ANNOUNCEMENTS!

True Strengths + The Metrics of Ease is Session 3 in THE FIRE STARTER SESSIONS. One of the most popular chapters, you can get it now as a mini-media sparklet, a warm up for the mondo inferno.

"This chapter is a BEAUTY — such a kick start.
Your words give me permission to be awesome."
- Sas Lockey

$20 bucks, baby. And when you're hot for more, you can put the cost of the chapter toward the full-tilt FIRE STARTER SESSIONS program.

>> CLICK HERE to BUY True Strengths + The Metrics of Ease

>> or click here for more details

"The Fire Starter Sessions is the revolution you’ve been waiting for. It will shake-up and wake-up every aspect of your life."
– Kris Carr | Award-winning Author and Documentarian, Crazy, Sexy, Cancer

. . . . . . . . .

MARIE FORELO'S B-SCHOOL
Registration for B-School closes this Thursday, August 19. Here's why I'm recommending it whole heartedly.

"This chapter is a BEAUTY — such a kick start.
Your words give me permission to be awesome."
- Sas Lockey

True Strengths + The Metrics of Ease is Session 3 in THE FIRE STARTER SESSIONS. One of the most popular chapters, you can get it now as a mini-media sparklet, a warm up for the mondo inferno. It explores:

: clarifying your intrinsic strengths vs. weaknesses
: the dangers of being "competent." Being well-rounded is highly overrated.
: the game-changing practice of getting better at what you’re best at
: passion as your growth point
: the brilliance of approving of your weaknesses
: enthusiasm as a state of higher consciousness
: using grace as data in your decision making
: a list of personality tests and reading resources
: ...and a word on life purpose
: VIDEO: The Metrics of Ease with Danielle
: VIDEO: The Merits of Self-Centered with Danielle + Dyana Valentine
: WORKSHEET 4: Passion Play
: WORKSHEET 5: Very Strong Priorities

"[this] chapter...is blowing my mind. Amazing.
This chapter alone is worth way more than $150."
- Tim Murphy

All this for $20 bucks, baby. And when you're hot for more, you can put the cost of this chapter toward the full-tilt FIRE STARTER SESSIONS program. And! By owning the True Strengths chapter, you're able to become an affiliate.

** click here to purchase true strengths + the metrics of ease **

rave reviews

"Danielle LaPorte's passion for her mission leaps off the page, and reading a few chapters of this book will ignite you into action."
– Gretchen Rubin | Author, The Happiness Project

"The Fire Starter Sessions is the revolution you’ve been waiting for. It will shake-up and wake-up every aspect of your life."
– Kris Carr | Award-winning Author and Documentarian, Crazy, Sexy, Cancer

"The Fire Starter Sessions is the new, bad-ass Artist’s Way.”
– Linda Sivertsen | Co-Author, Harmonic Wealth and Generation Green

"The Fire Starter Sessions...is so good that I’m taking it slow. All meat, no filler."
– Nathan Hangen | Author, Beyond Blogging and the Webrepreneur's Guide to Funding Your Business

"No entrepreneur should make another decision about the direction of his or her future without reading this book and doing the exercises Danielle has included."
– Alexis Martin Neely | Founder, Family Wealth Planning Institute and The LIFT Foundation System

"I'm savoring my way through FSS and loving it. I've scheduled a standing weekly appointment to work through Danielle's ass-kicking, fire-lighting, stakes-raising worksheets until. I'm. done. I'm admitting, forgiving, clarifying, imagining, and (most importantly) becoming – and I've needed this for a long time."
– Dave Navarro | TheLaunchCoach.com

"Money, failure, power, appreciation – this doesn't leave anything out of the mix."
– Barbara Stanny | Author, Overcoming Underearning

"You know the acronym TABO? True And Bleedingly Obvious. The Fire Starter Sessions are the opposite of that. They're fresh, compassionate, practical, sassy, designed (and design is one crucial way that content becomes useful), wise, engaging and, above all, different."
– Michael Bungay Stanier | Author, Do More Great Work and Senior Partner, Box of Crayons

Or of course, you could just go for the mondo inferno right this minute and invest in the full FIRE STARTERS SESSIONS program. Click the orange icon:

$150 for the full-tilt love. And! $5 from every copy goes to the charity you choose:The Acumen Fund or Women for Women International

or...

click here and warm up for $20 with a sample Session.

With Love,