Whitey & The Professor

All-Time Cantina Critter Madness : The Bracket from Hell

2011-03-18T22:20:00.418-04:00

Excited about March Madness?? Upset that your bracket looks like you opened an artery on the morning news? Have no fear, Colley Cantina Critter Madness is here!

All of your favorite Critters of All-Time, ranked from 1 to 64, ready for head-to-head action! The overall tourney appears below, and underneath that are all the first round match-ups awaiting your vote. Can the overall #1 Kenny Harmon take out all-comers, or does the Zodiac Man know more than all of us?

Don't wait, vote now! Your favorite Critter is depending on you! [Note on the descriptions: BM is Bobby Mac, and his comments are in quotes throughout because, quite honestly, we don't know who some of these people are. But we guarantee you he does...]

The Kenny Harmon Bracket

1. Kenny Harmon v. 16. Grog, or Greg the Other Pizza Guy
Poor Grog has little to no chance in this match-up of the behemoth Critter v. Critter wannabe. BUT...stranger things have happened. No they haven't.

8. Run Around Sue v. 9. Demetrius
Run Around Sue lived under Izzo’s house. "Claimed the soup was never hot. Miss Manners of the homeless." Demetrius: "Gray bearded bum who ashed in his beer to keep others from drinking it. Grocery cart with all the essentials, volunteer furniture arranger."

4. Cockney Rex v. 13. Mike Gears
Rex was a Casanova wannabe, not so successful on that front. Well, maybe he was, I have no idea. Equilibrium challenged. Mr. Gears was a sometimes employee with beautiful neck tattoos. Probably why he was working at the Cantina.

5. Smoothy, or The One and Only Steve Powers v. 12. Rock-a-Billy Bill
Smoothy...what to say? Bartender extraordinaire. I will say everyone in the kitchen liked it when Smoothy was working. Hell, everyone liked it when Smoothy was behind the bar. I have no idea who Rock-a-Billy Bill is. Bobby says "the name says it all." I guess.

2. Miami Rob v. 15. Hand Shake Mike
Rob was a disconcerting gigolo. If you don't remember him, you're better off for it. HSM...from Bobby: "part time door guy, full time clever clog." There you go.

7. Al Papsidaro v. 10. Tonya
I really can't explain Al much better than BM: "Al Capone of the west side." No one really enjoyed seeing him walk in. And he never walked in alone. Tonya was a the Dominatrix Pro. Reportedly had an encounter with The Mayor of Colley Avenue - hmm....tough match-up, this should be a good one.

3.Vic Demise v. 14. Frank (The Jank)
Vic was the "Jack Kerouac of 'Hard Core Norfolk'.” Sure. One thing Vic had was an endless supply of jokes. Some of them were even good. Frank was "a neck squeezer, walk-in nudist." Don't remember this, but if you do root for the upset. Maybe it was a nice Jank.

6. Zodiac Man v. 11. Crypt Keeper
I like the BM on Zodiac Man: "Wore a black cowboy hat and sported a cane." Yes. A good friend of Ambriel's, which was strange. And he was strange, maybe the weirdest guy I saw in the place, which is saying something as there's no lack of contenders for that title. The CK: "Hickey’s alter ego brother, simply charming." Didn't know that.

The Ninja Gardener Bracket

1. Steve aka The Ninja Gardener v. 16. Curtis
The NJ: "Prefers hermaphrodites with faces like angels." I'm not sure that's accurate, but it very well may be. Especially the "faces like angels" comment. Steve would drop in at any time - and I mean any time. 3:00 in the morning and there he was doing some sort of something. A Critter if there ever was one. Curtis was on older gay, black guy who seemed to have more money than he knew what to do with. Nice guy. Bad match-up.

8.Sedena v. 9. Captain Huevos
We stand aside...BM: Sedena - "Blacker than black chick with hot body. Friends with Urkel."
CH - "Shrewd wise acre entrepreneur, emu and oysters."

4. Snappy v. 13. Bipolar Door Guy
Charles: "The Artist formally known as Snappy = sugar drink, chicken juice assassin." We've tried to narrow down who exactly the Bipolar Door Guy is. BM wants him in here, and he's here, who he is only Robert knows.

5. Charles, or the Guy from the Naro v. 12. Amy aka Cousin It
Charles. Silent. "Bud Draft please." No, let's have a pitcher of Bud Draft. For me. Because I won't talk to anyone. This is a good match-up, Cousin It didn't show her face too often but when she did it was memorable. Unlike Charles' appearances. Conflicting Critter styles, we'll see...and don't tell us we should have added another 't'. It is It.

2. Greg Herman v. 15. Tugboat Sarah
Herman, Herman. Math genius and MMA golfer, although Fernandez was the one wielding his putter like a scimitar. Also a chess aficionado, but socially trapped in a frat house. And like I mentioned before, I believe he had a tab at Starbucks. Absurd. Tugboat Sarah, from BM: "Mimi's doppelganger from the Drew Carey show. This ain't gonna be your VCU.

7. Grace aka Grace bin Laden v. 10. Jeff Maisey
Grace from BM: "Svelte blond with an attitude." That's it? Grace looked like Sebastian Bach's strung-out twin sister. On a good day. This is a good match-up of conflicting styles. Jeff was a late add - everyone's favorite rock critic. Well, truth be told, the only rock critic who got published and also hung out at the Cantina. Hmm...who wants to get crushed by Herman in Round two?

3. Vegas v. 14. Peg Leg Arab Dude
Vegas. Actually a good guy, he'd always scold you if took the Lord's name in vain. But don't let that holier than thou attitude fool you. Peg Leg from BM: "Could be Greek." Your guess is as good as mine.

6. Scott McCaskey v. 11. Urkel
SM from BM: "Surf's up." Ok. I think I know who Scott is and if he's the guy I'm thinking of, wow, a true Critter. But...Urkel has the possibility to be a real dark horse in this tourney. I have NO idea what Urkel's real name was/is, and she was a Critter extraordinaire. I...I can't even describe Urkel. Stranger than fiction.

The Baggs Bracket

1. Billy Baggs v. 16. Muggsy
Poor Muggsy. Lucky for him it'll be an early exit.

8. Leonard v. 9. Scallop Bob
Leonard: "Patriarch of the Ant Farm." I'll leave that at that. Scallop Bob: "A choir singer, bourbon drinker, good conversationalist - sometimes with other people. Liked to talk to walls." If this match-up was on TV, I'd mow the lawn - competing for the right to get mowed down by Baggs in Round two.

4. Matt Brown v. 13. Robbie
Big Rocks, Small Rocks versus the biggest tipper that could walk in your bar. Robbie should be handed an early exit because he A) wasn't a moron and, B) couldn't possibly have that much money. Had an aversion to sleeves though.

5. Snaggletooth v. 12. Big Headed Todd
Snaggletooth was a mythic character - I'm not sure if he even had a job. Got caught stealing (well, he found it on the ground or some such story) Al's wallet one day and tried to charge drinks at a bar down the street. Weird guy, and routinely banned. Big Headed Todd: "Gentle giant (unless off his meds). Serving life in prison for murder." Put two and two together.

2. Nathan Berger v. 15. Lance
If you don't know Nathan then why are you even reading all this. Lance is famous for two things, but one more than the other. He was the Delvecchios pizza guy until he became a Cantina employee. But, more importantly, he likes cougars. More specifically, your mom. You've been warned...

2. Gina v. 10. Ornery John
Gina, better known as Izzo's sister, had what BM says, "The most vim per square inch." Vim? She was certainly a curious character. Ornery John: "Handy man for his brother who owned apartments in Ghent. Slumlord super." Thrilling.

3. Country or Hammer Down! v. 14. Vince Thomas Jr.
I'm not going to waste any description here because we all know who is going to win. Who the hell is Vince Thomas Jr.?

6. Smiley Mike v. 11. Randy Randy
Smiley Mike: "Richie Cunningham-ish rock star wanna be." I think that's a bit harsh, but he had that smile...Randy was " a boisterous gentleman's gentleman hair stylist." WTF does that mean?

The Deb Bracket

1. Deb DeMarco v. 16. Bobo Steppenwolf
I could lie and tell you I know who Bobo Steppenwolf is. But really, why? And even if I did know his story, who cares. Do you know Deb? That's what I thought.

8. Matches v. 9. Crispy
Matches: "Schizo bum addicted to matches." Thus, the name. Crispy: His kid's name was Cocoa Crispy." Well, not exactly true but that's what we all called him. He also stole my HST letters book. Bastard. Truth be told, Crispy (his real name was Chris. I think.) was almost the epitome of Critter. What's gonna hold him back is he was on the right side of the bar most of the time. Well, right for those who didn't have to work with him.

4. Mr. Robert McNamara v. 13. Cliffy
When this tourney was initially seeded, Robert put himself waaaaay too far down in the rankings. A four seed suits him quite nicely. Cliffy: "A local older fellow who was always glad to see you." Goodbye, Cliffy.

5. Steve Fernandez v. 12. Trina
Well, well, well. Mr. Fernandez is looking forward to a battle of heavyweights in Round two. Trina: "Portable dairy and walking pharmacy." Neither is going to help her here. Or will they...

2. Wild Bill v. 15. Heroin Chick
The fact that Wild Bill even has to suffer through a first round match-up is an outrage. Heroin Chick: "Made Grace look fat, worked part-time for Miami Rob." That ain't a bad resume, but we don't have enough room for Wild Bill's extensive credentials. Next!

7. Herb v. 10. Bruce White
Herb: "Master mathematician theorem blogger." Really? I know who Herb was, but I didn't know that. Not that I got in any long conversations with him. Probably for obvious reasons...Bruce: "Proficient culinarian. Doppelganger of the Mayor of Munchkinland." Bruce thought he took a job cooking where people cared about the latest culinary trends from Bobby Flay. Sucked for him.

3. Rum and Coke Jeff vs. 14. Peter the Aussie
Jeff: "Merchant sailor who never went to sea." Jeff receives a three seed and, quite honestly, I'm not sure if there is anyone in this tournament not employed by the Cantina who showed his face more often in the place than Jeff. A good guy, had a weird laugh, like it almost pained him, but a good guy. Peter the Aussie: "Jack of All Trades." What? I have no idea who this guy is, thank BM.

6. Crazy Kevin v. 11. Dreadlock Stan
Kevin always had a crazy look in his eyes (thus the name), like he was about ready to snap. Luckily, I made it out before he fulfilled his destiny. Stan: "Could be warlock." If you say so.

All Polls by twiigs.com

And there it is! Don't have too much fun.

All-Time Cantina Critter Tournament

2011-01-22T22:03:00.015-05:00

Here it is, what everyone has not been waiting for...the tournament to decide who is your favorite Colley Cantina 'patron' of All-Time. There are many deserving candidates, but only a chosen few will actually be seeded in the tournament with a chance to be named The All-Time Cantina Critter. Whitey and I (and Bobby Mac) will provide some initial candidates, but we more than welcome any additional suggestions. We would like to post pictures (a la the video game tourney which now, finally, after six months, we will move on to a second round), so if you have any send 'em on - whiteyandprofessor@gmail.com.

But back to our contest. We have some initial qualifiers, many of whom you will recognize due to their consistent appearance on the wrong side of the bar. Remember, this is a battle of the best-of-the-best, not a pissing contest with your ex-boyfriend. We want your favorites - we're not here to settle old scores...

So let's get started. The envelope please!

Kenny Harmon. A strong number one seed at this point. Anyone wishing to knock Kenny out better bring their A-game.
Deb S'Marco. Or Smarco or S. Marco or maybe it's DeMarco. Who cares, we all know who she is and, again, a strong one seed. Also an employee at times, which only solidifies her seed seeing as she was also banned from the Cantina on multiple occasions.
Mr. Robert McNamara. While he is one of the initiators of this contest, he now becomes a contestant. Anyone with their own language (McAneese) named after them is a strong contender. Single-handedly made sure the crack machine and Bud draft were money makers. Hold on - did he ever pay for those beers...
Greg Herman. Chess aficionado. I believe he also had a freakin' tab at Starbucks. C'mon man, they're not going to give you the patent on that thing...
Vic Demise. Well, his name is Vic Demise.
Taylor. The best posture on a man drinking pitchers of draft beer. Ever.
Nathan Berger. Yep, Nathan. Probably still there. Nice guy. Probably...still there.
Vegas. At last report, Vegas is a current employee of the Cantina. Which boggles my mind. Well, no it doesn't. Anyone who calls themselves Vegas can't really be looking for less attention.
Miami Rob. I don't remember much about Miami Rob except that he was banned from the Cantina every so often and he wore flip flops all the time.
Country, or, as we all know him, Hammer Down. One of a kind. Just when you thought you'd seen it all this guy came along. "Hammer down, Robert! Hammer down!"
Billy Baggs. As a rule we're trying to avoid employees. Alright, no we're not. Billy, also known as The Mayor of Colley Avenue, has been a Cantina staple for time immemorial. Could be a sentimental favorite.
Steve Fernandez. Ah, Steve. The only person I've ever truly feared was going to kill someone (Herman) on a golf course. His inclusion on this list is sure to piss him off - which is only one reason why he's on it.
Wild Bill. His name was Bill, but no one called him Bill. Everyone called him Wild Bill and he knew it. I have no clue what his chosen profession was, but it might as well have been drinking at the Cantina five days a week.
Matt Brown. I think his last name was Brown. Regardless, Matt will always be famous for his "breaking big rocks into smaller rocks" comment, and was pretty much known as not the smartest guy you'd ever met.

That's your start. Trust me, we know of many other candidates but we want to hear yours. We'll rank everyone and start the tourney, well, as soon as we feel like it. Soon. Happy reminiscing! (HERE is what the bracket looks like currently, likely...no, definitely going to change before the contest begins!)

See a Critter? We do!

Whitey & The Professors’ All-Time Arcade Game Challenge - Round Two

2011-01-21T22:55:00.009-05:00

We have our round two match-ups! There has been much further ado, so without any more here they are:
See the first round results and entire bracket HERE.

PAC-MAN REGION

#1 Pac-Man v. #5 Tron. Pac-Man cruised to a first round victory over Frogger - arguably a better game then Tron which squeaked out a win over Defender. If Tron wins this the fix might be in...

#2 Gauntlet v. #3 Ms. Pac-Man. Two juggernauts going head-to-head. Will it be a Pac-Man/Ms. Pac-Man match-up to make it to the final four? Whitey sure hopes not, but then Whitey is still circling the drain in Gauntlet.

SPACE INVADERS REGION

#1 Space Invaders v. #5 Duck Hunt. Duck Hunt is a sentimental favorite. Who can forget standing two feet away from the TV with an electronic gun knocking ducks out of the sky? At the same time, Space Invaders is a force to reckoned with.

#2 Dig Dug v. #3 Mario Bros. Ouch. I wouldn't want to be in Vegas calling this one - there's a good deal of momentum for both of these games. I...we...I have no idea....

DONKEY KONG REGION

#1 Donkey Kong v. #4 Joust. Joust took out Golden Tee which was one of the tournament dark horses. But does it have enough to eliminate one of the greatest video games of all-time?

#3 Star Wars v. #6 Pole Position. Pole Position eliminated Street Fighter in a first round upset. Star Wars posted a comfortable victory over Q*Bert. Two ground breaking games in their genres go head-to-head. Whitey is betting on the steering wheel.

PONG REGION

#1 Pong v. #5 Rampage. Rampage takes down Centipede and sets its sights on the granddaddy of them all. Pong is not fazed.

#3 Galaga v. #7 Paperboy. In what may be the most surprising upset of the first round, Paperboy sent Asteroids packing. Galaga wants a shot at Pong, but the kid on a bike has other ideas...

all polls by twiigs.com

Know Your Balls - The Baseball

2010-07-17T01:11:00.139-04:00

At Whitey’s prompting due yet again to his incessant quest for knowledge, I have been asked to provide a report on the history of balls. So…I’ll do some research and compile a bit of knowledge in multiple posts (maybe).

Baseballs, basketballs, footballs (both kinds), tennis balls, golf balls, even hockey pucks (a version of the ball)…they each have their own unique history.

With most of these sports there is an equally important evolution of other equipment, most notably the items one uses to whack these balls around. Bats, sticks, clubs, shoes - they have all progressed along with the balls. For our purposes we’ll limit our discussion of those aspects.

The Baseball. The baseball has had many different versions, most notably before and after 1872 and 1911. Before 1872 they pretty much played with whatever they had on hand as long as it resembled a ball. The formation of professional leagues in the 1870's somewhat standardized the baseball at that time, although you wouldn't recognize the thing today. In 1911 baseball adopted a cork-center ball - offense and the game's popularity exploded.

Baseball evolved from various games, particularly Rounders, a variation of which was played in England, Germany, and possibly other places as early as the 16th century. In America, Rounders was called a variety of things including Town Ball in the early 1800's. The game was massively popular, and the locals turned out from miles around to watch the contests...

Not really. The first record of a game closely resembling baseball as we know to today is in 1829, although at that time there were some crazy rules like you ran the bases clockwise, they only played two or three innings in which everyone batted every inning, and a guy was out if you hit him with the ball. It's likely they just made the rules up for every game within a loose framework. Canada actually makes some claim to the first recorded account of a baseball game, in 1838, but that can't possibly be true. And even if it is I choose to ignore it. The earliest known newspaper account of a baseball game in the U.S. dates from 1845.

In 1869 Harry Wright got serious, found some sucker to pay the guys to play baseball, and the Cincinnati Red Stockings became the first "openly" professional baseball team (teams had paid players for years, but not all of them, and they didn't admit to doing it.) Before this time I guess it was a lot like watching your dad's rec softball team.

The National Association of Professional Base Ball was formed in 1871 (not including, oddly, the Cincinnati team.) And thus, we have the first league set to give us our first rules concerning what we're here to discuss: the baseball.

But let's not jump ahead of ourselves. At this point there were teams all over the place and the National Association only lasted until 1875. Many of the teams didn't show up for games, left in the middle of them, and/or nobody bothered to show up and watch. That can happen when you have a team from Ft. Wayne, Indiana and another from Boston at a time when America's most popular form of transportation was still the horse.

Undaunted, in 1876 some guys with deep pockets and a love for balls and bats founded what remains today the National League (You wondered why it's called the senior circuit? That's why.) The only original teams still left in the NL are the Cincinnati Reds (Red Stockings) and the St. Louis Cardinals (Brown Stockings), although both teams left the NL for the American Association in 1882 to return later. The organization that spearheaded the formation of the National League is actually the team we know today as the Chicago White Sox. And, in truth, the White Sox could make a very hearty claim as the oldest consistent team - a claim the Reds make but is very shaky considering the facts.

So...the National League quickly became full of themselves and booted a few teams, including St. Louis (they may have just left) and Cincinnati (definitely booted), due to their 'lower moral standards'. [SOURCE] Cincinnati sold beer at their home games and all "river cities" were considered backwoods idiots unworthy of inclusion in their pristine league. The Philadelphia Athletics, an original NL team, also joined the American Association in 1882.

Thus the American Association was formed as a response to the NL's puritanical regime. At the end of the 1882 season Chicago (NL) and Cincinnati (AA), the two best teams of their respective leagues that year, split a two game series to end the season. Some consider this the first whiff of the World Series we know today.

A great quote to give you an idea of the times:

The National League appealed to more middle-class audiences by requiring its teams to charge fifty cents admission, banning the sale of alcohol, and refusing to play on Sundays. The rival American Association appealed to immigrant and working-class audiences by charging only a quarter, selling liquor and playing Sunday ball.[SOURCE]

From 1880, and even before, until about 1900-01 leagues formed, folded, teams switched leagues, changed names, disbanded, came back again with the same name, a new name...it was all complete chaos. If I were to attempt a full account of everything it would be Master’s Degree worthy. So I won’t.

Our original lineups once we made it to circa 1900-01:

NATIONAL LEAGUE

• Boston Beaneaters (Atlanta Braves)
• Brooklyn Superbas (Los Angeles Dodgers. This name is open to debate, as there was no ‘official’ nickname of the team until 1932 when it became the Dodgers. They were known as the Atlantics, Grays, Grooms, the Bridegrooms, the Superbas, and the Robins.)
• Chicago Orphans (Chicago Cubs. When the great Cap Anson left the team they were dubbed the Orphans. By 1902 they were the Cubs.)
• Cincinnati Reds
• New York Giants (San Francisco Giants)
• Philadelphia Phillies (first known as the Quakers as early as 1883)
• Pittsburgh Pirates
• St. Louis Perfectos (the Perfectos name lasted one year, 1899, before being changed to the Cardinals in 1900)

AMERICAN LEAGUE

• Boston Americans (Boston Red Sox)
• Baltimore Orioles (New York Yankees. Huh, you say? True. The Yankees were originally the Orioles, moved to New York in 1903 becoming the Highlanders, and were renamed the Yankees in 1913.)
• Chicago White Stockings (Chicago White Sox. In fact, it could be argued that the White Sox are the actually the oldest team in baseball, a title the Reds claim.)
• Cleveland Blues (Cleveland Indians)
• Detroit Tigers
• Milwaukee Brewers (Baltimore Orioles. Crazy eh? The Orioles became the Yankees and the Brewers became the Orioles. Go figure.)
• Philadelphia Athletics (Oakland Athletics)
• Washington Senators (Minnesota Twins. Curious? So was I. Different incarnations of the Senators have the dubious distinction of failing and birthing two current franchises – the Twins in 1960 and the Rangers in 1972.)

NOW THEN. I started this with the idea of discussing the actual baseball, not baseball as an organization. But I think the history of the game is important to see the progression the actual baseball. Plus, it’s my blog and I can do what I want.

What you see today, at least on the outside of the baseball, is very similar to what the baseball was in the late 1800's. You can actually purchase reproductions of early versions of the baseball HERE.

As mentioned earlier, for the most part the baseball was standardized in the 1870's. The ball in the picture at the beginning of this post is a pre-1872 ball. The figure eight design we know today was not adopted until 1872, although supposedly there were versions of it before then.

Harry Wright tried to kick-start offense in the game by introducing a cork-center ball instead of a rubber-center ball in 1880, but no one liked it (Well, no one playing defense liked it, which is understandable considering the gloves they used.) The cork-center ball would not be officially adopted until 1911.

Around 1920 they stopped (well, they tried) letting the pitchers do whatever they liked to the ball (scuffing, spitballs, etc.), and also began changing out used balls for new balls during the game. Thus, Baseball is split into the “Dead Ball Era” pre-1920, and pretty much what we have had up to the present day. If one looks at the just home run stats from this time, it's fairly obvious the impact. From 1901-1918 the American League high for HR's in a season was 16. In 1919 Babe Ruth hit 29, and followed that up with 54 in 1920. In the National League the all-time high for HR's was 27 from 1876 until 1921 (that's 53 years.) In 1922 Rogers Hornsby hit 42 homers, and from that point on the NL leader in HR's would hit 27 or more every year except two (21, Hack Wilson in 1926 and 23, Ralph Kiner in 1946.)

Around 1930 they changed from a cork to a “cushioned cork” center, and in 1974 there was a change from a horsehide to a cowhide cover. From what I can tell, the baseball has had those 108 stitches (each hand-stitched) at least since the 1920’s and probably before then - see the pictures from 1878 and 1889 above.

Whitey pointed out that should they change the stitching in any way the ball might be made to perform unnatural acts, and since Baseball is very keen on its history changes are highly unlikely. There was much discussion about MLB having done something to the ball in the late 1990’s/early 2000’s due to the meteoric rise in home runs. We now know something was done, but not to the ball.

For now, the baseball is #1 on the list of most consistent game balls still in use.

QUICK NOTE: I wanted to mention a few things concerning the recent bounty of perfect games in baseball and this discussion about the ball seems as good a place as any. There have been 20 perfect games in baseball history, the first of which was recorded in 1880. If we begin there that's a span of 130 years, meaning baseball has averaged one perfect game every six and a half years for 130 years

The National League actually had two perfect games in 1880...and didn't have another one for 84 years. The American League's longest drought was from 1922-1956. The 19 teens (?), 1930's, 1940's, and 1970's saw zero perfect games.

In the past ten years we have seen four perfect games (should be five, but so be it.) The previous high was three in the 1960's, maybe a contributing factor (along with Bob Gibson) to the lowering of the mound. In the past twenty years we have seen eight perfect games. But in the past 30 years, since 1980, there have been 11 perfect games. So, for the first 100 years (actually more, but I won't nit-pick here) of baseball there were nine, that's right, nine perfect games. 55% of MLB's perfect games have been thrown in the past 30 years.

We could talk explanations for this til the cows come home. One of my top reasons would be the expanding number of teams, but the equipment has changed, technology has made scouting better, new pitches come along (remember Mike Scott, Roger Craig, and the split-fingered fastball hype?) The list can go on and on. But the ball...the cowhide...who knows...

Good references:

For exact dimensions and stats of the ball go HERE.

For a good early history of the baseball and other equipment go HERE.

Don't Be a Freddy - Part 2

2010-07-07T13:48:00.001-04:00

Last night at the Ranger's game we had a few notable events occur outside the actual game on the field. One was the fan falling from the upper deck after trying to lean over a railing to catch a foul ball. Luckily everyone seems to be ok, both the guy who fell and those upon whom he landed.

The other incident is where we find Freddy. The video is below. Don't be this guy. If a foul ball or home run ball lands within your wingspan, feel free to reach out and try to haul it in. If you need to simulate a rugby scrum to get a ball and you're over, say, ten years old, stay in your seat. The announcers say the guy did end up giving the kid the ball, but it's still inexcusable.

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Don't Be a Freddy - Vote Votto!

2010-07-06T13:40:00.007-04:00

Such a nice looking young man...Vote for me!

Whitey is in a crazy fantasy baseball league with some guys who are just stat freaks. Some of us are like Christmas ornaments: just there for decoration. That said, the stats tell the story.

Which guy would be starting for you if you had the pencil? Look at it like the Reds Fan we'll call “Freddy”. There is a running joke that Freddy is a bandwagon jumper. He'll wear a Reds hat for a week when pitchers and catchers report. He'll be telling us how good the squad looks, the pen is on fire, and the Redlegs are going to the Ship. Lose two, Freddy is ready to fire the skipper and Dusty is the worst manager in the league.

Along comes June and in most years past, the Reds have been less than stellar in Great American Ballpark - but the ladies are o' so cute. Freddy at this point becomes the Freddy we all know and loathe. He pulls out his Cubbies hat and heads to the friendly confines of Wrigley Field, only to be let down by another team in the Central Division of the Senior Circuit.

For reasons I can't figure out, the people of Cincinnati aren't jamming the ballot box for their boy! The Reds are in first place, and this guy is a huge reason why. Come on Freddy! Vote for Votto!

PROFESSOR'S NOTE: I'll get this out of the way first - I am an unabashed Reds fan. If you're looking for someone without a horse in this race I am not that person.

I just happened to tune in to Colin Cowherd this morning and voila! Votto had taken over the show. Whitey and I discussed it for a few and decided to run with it.

Cowherd's first point (at least the first one I heard) blamed Votto's snub on Reds' fans sleeping on the job - they should have stuffed the ballot box. In fact, he referenced the famous ballot stuffing campaign Reds' fans pulled off in the 1957 season. That year seven of the eight starters voted in were Reds (the odd one out? Stan Musial made the starting lineup.)

Subsequently the Commissioner at the time, Ford Frick, took the vote away from the fans and substituted two players (Hank Aaron and Willie Mays, I don't know about those choices...) for two of the Reds. The vote returned to the fans in 1969.

Anyway, in 1957 there were only eight NL teams and none west of St. Louis. My point is it was a little easier to do back then. Not that it can't be done now though, and it has happened a few times. I think Votto deserves to be there and will most likely get in with all the publicity this is getting.

Cowherd went on to list three criteria which get you in to an All-Star game - popularity, stats, and legacy - and claimed Votto was short on two of the three. I'll give him that. Usually the manager's picks solve the fans' shortsightedness, but Charlie Manuel took Ryan Howard. Shocker.

I won't run down the stats because if you want them you'll find them elsewhere. Suffice it to say, as Whitey put it, don't be a Freddy...vote for Votto at the link below:

Whitey & The Professors’ All-Time Arcade Game Challenge

2010-07-05T17:21:00.043-04:00

Here they are - all the first round match-ups. The original post with some of our criteria is HERE. A look at the brackets is HERE.

PAC-MAN REGION

#1 Pac-Man v. #8 Frogger. Poor Frogger, you couldn't ask much more of a game based on frogs and dodging traffic. It has pulled a bad first round matchup against arguably the best arcade game of all-time. Should Frogger pull a first round upset over Pac-Man it would be historic – or slightly noteworthy.

#2 Gauntlet v. #7 Double Dragon. I remember playing Gauntlet. At Kings Island. Let me tell you, there are a lot of things to do at Kings Island (just ask the Brady Bunch) other than play a video game, but I was hooked. Double Dragon was one of the first of its kind and certainly popular, but doesn’t take out Gauntlet for me.

#3 Ms. Pac-Man v. #6 Dragon’s Lair. Yep, Ms. Pac-Man got seeded in the same region with her overbearing other half (we're not having a Pac-Man/Ms. Pac-Man final.) Dragon’s Lair was such a weird game – I remember putting money into this thing and having no idea what I was supposed to actually do. Not that this should sway you, but there are three games on permanent display in the Smithsonian: Pong, Pac-Man, and...Dragon's Lair. Ms. Pac-Man, well, those intermissions did it all didn’t they?

#4 Defender v. #5 Tron. Whitey is calling it, Tron pulls the upset. It was based on a movie, bad as that movie was. Defender is defending a plant, and for the entire game you travel on a horizontal plane. Most Defender machines had burns on the playing panel. These were left by: 1) people who let a perfectly good smoke go to waste, just to smell melting plastic, as they were trying to prove the world was flat; or 2) stoners that had a good game going. Whitey takes two. Tron was certainly one of the best looking arcade games of all time. The game itself was kind of blah though.

SPACE INVADERS REGION

#1 Space Invaders v. #8 Jungle Hunt. Space Invaders had one of those sounds that haunt you in your sleep. It wasn't a matter of if the Invaders were gonna get there, just when. Try as you might, I only saw the screen cleared a few times before the quarter dropped again. Space Invaders is notable for many reasons, but one you might not know is it was the first game that saved hi-scores and, in a later incarnation, became the first game in which you could also enter your initials. [If you're one of those people wondering why games like, say, Golden Tee aren't ranked higher in the tourney imagine Golden Tee with no hi-scores or, god forbid, no option for initials.] Jungle Hunt was swinging. And swimming. And running and jumping. Timing was everything in this one - never did find out what happens at the end, or even if there is an end. But I did like knifing sharks.

#4 Tempest v. #5 Duck Hunt. Tempest really had one goal: spin the dial in a circle and run the outer edge of different shapes shooting at projectiles, but it was the first vector game in color (Tempest, Star Wars, and Asteroids are our only vector games in the tourney, so they represent.) Duck Hunt was great due to the fact you had a gun in hand - Duck Hunt was one of the pioneering 'shoot the screen' games. "Bang," as that dog laughs at you for missing. But you couldn't trust the hi-score as you could put the gun literally on the screen and kill everything. Didn't stop us.

#3 Mario Bros. v. #6 Missile Command. Missile Command was a tricky little game. Three shooting stations with ten shots in each - and you talk about a loud game - if you sent everything off it was like a static explosion. Chances were after you cleared the early stage you were hooked for a dollar and it was gone in a hurry. Toughest game in the bracket. Mario Bros. spawned what could be considered the most successful franchise in history - Nintendo was (and still is) built on Donkey Kong...and Mario. Whitey majored in Mario Bros. for two semesters in college. We would stay up even if we weren't playing, and you couldn't get guys out of the dorm with a cattle prod. [Remember: we're not voting on the game you could play in your dorm room...]

#2 Dig Dug v. #7 BurgerTime. I don't remember BurgerTime, but I saw it on so many lists I figured we had to include it. Maybe it was a good game. Whitey remembers Dig Dug was everywhere. Most enjoyable was the one by the baseball field in the High's Ice Cream. Man, after a hot day at the park, a Sherbet Freeze, Dig Dug, and a hand to squeeze. Ah, summertime.

DONKEY KONG REGION

#1 Donkey Kong v. #8 Tapper. Tapper? Really? Frogger at least had a chance to upset Pac-Man. Although Tapper was one-of-a-kind, and the cabinet came complete with a coaster for your drink and a railing for your feet, this is a no-brainer. The big monkey rolling barrels down the grades, and who could forget the best pulley-lever system in gaming. Donkey Kong also has the unique mystique of having introduced us to the main character of another game in the tourney: Mario. And even though I can't stand when people use this, it's still relevant today: it's on like Donkey Kong!

#4 Joust v. #5 Golden Tee. Joust was one of the games Whitey lived on. It was at the 7-11 a block from school. My study hall was Joust. I never questioned what would make a guy get on a flying ostrich and engage in level to level combat. It just worked. Joust gets a leg up on Golden Tee. The Professor says Joust is one crazy game, and one of the first co-operative games that I remember. I was not good at it, but that didn't stop me. Golden Tee is the only true sports game in the tourney and while it is a classic, its popularity seems to have spiked fairly recently. That said, Golden Tee's many offspring have stood the test of time - a great initial idea which I don't see going out of style anytime soon. Whitey says just spin the ball as hard as you can and most of the time it goes straight. I say, remember that hole-in-one? Pure skill.

#3 Street Fighter v. #6 Pole Position. A battle between two icons of their respective genres: driving games and fighting games. Street Fighter was a double joystick machine, meaning there were some 64 possible moves. However, it could be defeated using about five of them (and while the original Street Fighter was ok, Street Fighter II is really where this franchise took off. Again though, a la Golden Tee, the first game spawned a monster.) Pole Position was the perfect game of its day - the game gave you more time for hangin' it all out for your quarter. Before Pole Position the only driving games were staged at night due to the limitations of technology. Pole Position is the original modern driving game - that's a steering wheel!

#2 Star Wars v. #7 Q*Bert. One of two games in the tournament which originated as a movie (Tron), Star Wars is a classic, even for people on the Dark Side of the Force. Q-Bert is just Pac-Man on a pyramid. I dropped a lot of quarters into that machine; however, most were for my girlfriend.

PONG REGION

#1 Pong v. #8 Moon Patrol. Wow, Pong v. Moon Patrol - where does one start? Pong is the grand-daddy of them all and may be the sentimental favorite in the tournament. Moon Patrol is Defender on wheels. Sure there was a catchy tune, and the way the buggy kinda floated when you hit the jump button made you think you were driving in space. Pong was just two lines that bounced a block back and forth. And back. And forth. But take a look at Brick Breaker on your phone. Look familiar? This is a knockout! Whitey says Pong!

#4 Centipede v. #5 Rampage. Rampage - what more could you ask from a game but to trash buildings? Kong, Wolfman, and Zilla could bring down the house. One player wasn't enough though, you needed 2-3 to really beat the machine. Centipede was chaos, but it’s the all-time trackball/single-shot game. And the mushrooms gave you a fit. Whitey remembers when Centipede came out - Milton's pizza had one, and as the speed increased so did your heartbeat.

#3 Galaga v. #6 Spy Hunter. Spy Hunter was a great game if you had a lot of time to kill. Like Pac-Man, there was a pattern, but it was much easier. The Professor says Spy Hunter is one his favorite games of all-time, and if there was some discernible pattern I didn't discover it.. Oil slicks? Rotating blades from your wheels? And when you died you got dropped off from the moving semi. As a Bond fan, this was a great game, although I was not good at it. Galaga was awesome! When you doubled up your ship…awesome! From that point the challenge stages got easier and the points racked up. The Professor forgot about the double ships...that was pretty sweet.

#2 Asteroids v. #7 Paperboy. A true test of old/new school. Well, new school circa 1987. Not many of us have driven a spaceship through an asteroid field, but most of us had a paper route. You could just chuck papers at windows, flower pots, and front porches. The only thing missing was the old man yelling because it wasn't on his doorstep, or the lady who always waved hello. Asteroids was a game that really put your head in a vice. Since we were all teenagers, we knew nothing about space propulsion. The second button, that allowed you to move, caused more problems than Felix the Cat. You couldn't stop on a dime, Whitey got crushed, and reached for another quarter. And the Professor did the same.

all polls by twiigs.com

Whitey & The Professors’ All-Time Arcade Game Challenge

2010-06-30T16:45:00.035-04:00

Well, well, well. Whitey was stirred by the references to the Commodore 64/VIC-20 in my last post to discuss computer/video game systems. Tandy, Odyssey, Colecovision, Intellivision, Atari, Sega, Nintendo, and you get the idea. This conversation quickly moved from computers to video games, on to arcade games and...

So…due to the incessant quest for knowledge that makes Whitey who he is we present for you: Whitey & The Professors’ All-Time Arcade Game Challenge. We have collected a cast of 32 classic arcade games, every one of which saw its inception before 1990. During the ‘90’s video gaming systems advanced to the point where, well, you might as well just play the thing at home.

But before then we had two options: put in a quarter, or go home and play a lame knock-off of your favorite game. Yes kids, there was a time when there were video games and VIDEO GAMES. Sure, you could play Pac-Man or Donkey Kong on your Atari in the basement, but they were terrible. Nintendo made everything much more palatable in 1985, but it would be many years later before home systems matched what you could find at the local 7-11.

SO…here we go. Whitey insisted that every game involved cost a quarter to play in its heyday. We have eliminated games released after 1990 (so sorry Mortal Combat. And NBA Jam, although not so much.) Golden Tee and Dragon's Lair are slight exceptions to this. Golden Tee didn't used to be the money pit it is today, and Dragon's Lair was so revolutionary at the time that it has to be in the tourney. Off to the NIT go Kung-Fu Master, Zaxxon, Breakout, Berzerk, Track & Field, Armor Attack, Battlezone, Vanguard, Lunar Lander, Commando, Phoenix, and the ultimate bubble game on the bubble, Bubbles. We might be willing to have a play-in game if there is significant uproar.

We ranked the 32 games in a painstaking process involving, in no particular order, perusing other websites and beer. Four regions will play off against one another for the chance to be crowned The Best Arcade Game of All-Time.

The four regions are each named for their respective #1 seed: Pac-Man, Donkey Kong, Pong, and Space Invaders. Each game has an overall seed, but we seed them here in their corresponding regional bracket. Should you wish to see the big picture and where we are going with this it is HERE.

ALL of the brackets can now be found HERE.

Soon to come, Whitey wants board games and pinball!

Sport or Skill? Jay Asked, We Respond

2010-06-29T16:02:00.004-04:00

We have had a request to revisit Sport or Skill? with an eye toward deciding the most physically demanding Sport. This request comes courtesy of Jay who, at last check (probably 20 years ago), was settling in to life as a Canadian. But before he opted for a life of ice and G8 summits we had a lively childhood in Mariemont. (Update: he lives in Buffalo now...maybe it wasn't Canada...oh well.) I have a few great memories involving Jay, which I’ll enumerate here:

1. HBO. I had never heard of HBO before – we certainly didn’t have this thing in our house. But one evening we were herded out of the living room – I recall something like sliding doors between the living room and where we were – as his parents settled in to watch…I want to say it was Flashdance. I remember trying to peek through the doors to get a glimpse of whatever untold forbidden things had to be on display in the other room. I still haven’t seen Flashdance, and I don’t think I’m missing much.

This brings to mind another scenario involving Brian and Rex watching Purple Rain with Mrs. Hawk in the room. She would throw a towel over the TV during the racy parts. Oh, to be young again.

2. Commodore 64. We had a Commodore VIC-20. I remember playing games that you loaded with a cassette player. In fact, you had to pop the tape out and put in another every so often. But Jay had a Commodore 64, with a color monitor, and I remember playing Monopoly on the thing. Monopoly? On a computer? God has surely smiled upon us.

3. I remember thinking Jay’s mom was going to beat the tar out of Jeremy Drake one day (she didn't.) I don’t remember what he did, but man was she mad.

4. Jay came back to visit when we were in high school and introduced me to this new rap group. Two chicks. Believe me when I tell you I didn’t think they were saying, “Push It.”

Anyway, back to our topic. For our discussion of the most physically demanding Sport we’re going to use a list from ESPN which, in some stroke of serendipity, seems to have some of the same ideas as our original Sport or Skill? post (Whitey pointed this ESPN thing out to me afterwards, of course. And I'll take alliteration for 500, Alex.) I’d like to say great minds think alike, but I’m not willing to give them that praise.

Below is the top 15 - again their entire list is HERE. They asked a panel of experts to rank various “sports” in numerous categories and this was the result.

SPORT	END	STR	PWR	SPD	AGI	FLX	NER	DUR	HAN	ANA	TOTAL	RANK
Boxing	8.63	8.13	8.63	6.38	6.25	4.38	8.88	8.50	7.00	5.63	72.375	1
Ice Hockey	7.25	7.13	7.88	7.75	7.63	4.88	6.00	8.25	7.50	7.50	71.750	2
Football	5.38	8.63	8.13	7.13	6.38	4.38	7.25	8.50	5.50	7.13	68.375	3
Basketball	7.38	6.25	6.50	7.25	8.13	5.63	4.13	7.75	7.50	7.38	67.875	4
Wrestling	6.63	8.38	7.13	5.13	6.38	7.50	5.00	6.75	4.25	6.38	63.500	5
Martial Arts	5.00	5.88	7.75	6.38	6.00	7.00	6.63	5.88	6.00	6.88	63.375	6
Tennis	7.25	5.13	7.13	6.75	7.75	5.63	3.00	5.00	8.38	6.75	62.750	7
Gymnastics	5.38	6.13	6.63	5.00	6.38	10.00	7.50	6.88	4.50	4.13	62.500	8
Baseball/Softball	4.63	5.75	7.63	6.50	6.75	4.75	5.13	5.63	9.25	6.25	62.250	9
Soccer	7.75	4.50	5.13	7.25	8.25	4.75	3.63	6.25	6.50	7.50	61.500	10
Skiing: Alpine	5.13	5.25	6.00	7.38	6.13	5.63	8.38	6.00	5.13	5.63	60.625	11
Water Polo	7.88	6.63	6.88	5.38	6.38	5.00	4.25	6.38	6.25	5.63	60.625	11
Rugby	6.75	7.00	6.38	5.88	6.00	4.13	6.50	7.88	4.38	5.63	60.500	13
Lacrosse	6.63	5.13	5.75	7.00	6.63	4.75	4.38	6.13	7.13	6.88	60.375	14
Rodeo: Steer Wrestling	4.00	7.00	7.88	3.88	4.88	5.00	7.88	6.88	5.13	4.00	56.500	15

I’m very impressed “Steer Wrestling” made the list. I can guarantee you that, had we made our own list, we would have forgotten all about rodeo events. We’re here to give you the most physically demanding Sport, not the most physically demanding activity you can perform with barnyard animals.

Along with rodeo, we can eliminate skiing and gymnastics. Not Sports. ESPN's list has 60 Sport/Skills, and here is our top 10 for Most Physically Demanding Sport:

1. Boxing/MMA/Wrestling/Martial Arts. Instead of listing these items separately we’re going to lump them all together. All are Sports, and all involve two people trying to physically dominate each other. Sure, there are mental aspects, but they ain’t chess. I’m not going to give you a chance against Brock Lesnar because you can outthink him.

2. Rugby. Rugby can be summed up thusly: Take a boxing ring. Now get rid of the ropes, move it outside, expand the ring to about 500 feet, grow grass on it, give each guy 14 friends, throw an oblong ball out there, and blow a whistle. Have fun.

3. Hockey.

4. Football. Unless you're the kicker. Some would argue that football should beat hockey. We say you're wrong.

5. Soccer. Run, run, run, run and run some more.

6. Water Polo. You try treading water for eight minutes. Now, here’s a ball. Oh, and did I mention that guy over there is going to try and drown you…

7. Lacrosse. This is debatable - lacrosse might well deserve to be higher on this list.

8. Swimming. I know, I know, it’s timed, which should technically eliminate swimming from consideration. But they also have relays involving ‘teams,’ and, well, it’s tough. Of course, this opens the door for a whole host of Track & Field events…

9. Tennis. After watching the Isner/Mahut marathon, we’re putting tennis here. That said, some tennis matches, especially for women, seem to involve less work and last as long as, say, washing the dog.

10. Basketball. Suck it NBA.

11. Rowing/Crew. Again, timed. And in boats. And again, I don’t care.

That’s it.

Whitey's a Lefty...Catcher?

2010-06-28T06:00:00.007-04:00

Yes, Whitey is in his right mind. A large percentage of our Presidents have been lefties - great thinkers and philosophers. But there is one thing that Whitey can't quite square with the way the world works. Baseball is righty biased! As a kid growing up, one thing I hated hearing more than "eat your veggies" was,"You’re a lefty? Go to first.”

There were guys I knew in high school that were left-handed with fast, great hands, but they had to play in the outfield. I got The Professor to do a report on the baseball (still to come), and he informed me that they used to run the bases clockwise.

I can think of a few reasons for the change to the current setup, where the bases are run counterclockwise. Americans wanted to be the opposite of England in every way. Thus we run horses, dogs, cars…and the bases in the opposite direction of the English.

Second, and more probable, is that the throws from what would be 2nd, 3rd, and short would be much more difficult for the right-handed player in a clockwise game. I admit those throws would be hard, but there’s one position that really grinds Whitey.

As previously mentioned, Whitey is a southpaw. So why can his ragged arm get looked at in his late 30's as a pitcher but - as one of the most athletic players on his team - couldn't Whitey have been a catcher? No chance. Not even a sniff of The Tools of Ignorance!

The right-handed batter? With more kids switching to the left side to hit righty pitching, this argument may hold less sway. The throw to third? How about that snap throw to first? Can we even consider a left-handed catcher? Not in a sport as biased as baseball.

PROFESSOR'S NOTE:
Statistics from www.baseball-reference.com: (if these are off, they shouldn't be off by much)
2010 in MLB
Right-handed pitchers: 382
Left-handed pitchers:    138

Bats Right:                          610
Bats Left:                      287
Bats Switch:         87

Whitey and I were discussing this topic after watching the College World Series and seeing, in our opinion, too many right-handed 1st basemen. As a fellow lefty, I feel Whitey’s pain. Unless you’re a pitcher, lefties get the shaft in baseball. I could think of no other sport where there is as much of a bias against being left-handed as there is in baseball.

Lefties have the opportunity to play four of the nine positions, not even receiving consideration at four (2nd, 3rd, short, and catcher). And righties have the opportunity to play all nine – no position is considered exclusively left-handed.

Soccer Says Goodbye...Again.

2010-06-27T11:43:00.004-04:00

The U.S had a decent showing in the World Cup. Again. And they lost to Ghana. Again. So what’s it all mean?

Not a whole hell of a lot, I’m afraid. The World Cup has risen in popularity here over the years, but three days after grabbing the headlines the team returns home after a ho-hum game which, quite honestly, they deserved to lose.

The problem is no one cares enough about the sport’s league (MLS) and teams for soccer to have much impact on America’s sport landscape. Soccer, unlike hockey, is trying to build a fan base in reverse, from the national to the local.

Hockey’s history here allowed it to build at least a reasonable amount of local fans before the craziness of the 1980 Olympics and the subsequent hoopla. Even now there are a substantial amount of people who will watch Olympic hockey and not a second of the NHL.

The same is true for soccer except it’s even worse. With little support for local teams (it is growing) the popularity of the sport seems to be on an eternal four year cycle. Most of the games aren’t on TV, and only occasionally will you see scores/highlights on SportsCenter.

[Oh good, there we go with another bad call in the England/Germany game. Replay anyone?]

Soccer is right on the heels of the NHL in terms of average attendance, and some of teams do quite well (Seattle is averaging over 36,000 per game, but if your alternative was the Mariners you might watch soccer too.) I think that’s going to be the critical mass for the sport - battling the NHL for fourth place - at least until Mexico invades.

Now back to our regularly scheduled sports.

WHITEY CHIMES IN:
How can one be expected to take a sport seriously when the coach is wearing a scarf? Whitey is sure there are people that will point to NFL Films to see Lombardi rocking a scarf, but that was due to the ice all around, and the 50 years of technology that has brought us warmth with thin layers. That was no fashion statement; that was survival. And they wore suits, hats, and ties also. And so did the people in the stands.

The only person Whitey has seen in a scarf besides the English coach was Mick, sitting with former President Clinton at the USA match. Whitey doesn't see Joe Torre rockin' a scarf, or the Zen Master going to ascot and top hat.

That said, England just got rocked by a spry young German squad. They got run off the pitch. Fortunately it's early Sunday, and the American soccer fans have no reason to be dragging on Monday. It's late evening in England, and there will be a smell of ‘still drunk’ if they show up to work at all. That's a bad defeat.

Sorry for the quality on this, but I couldn't resist. Be forewarned, if you double-click on the video you'll be directed to the site on YouTube where this was originally posted - and where there is quite lively commentary.

Big Shiny Things - Part 2!

2010-06-25T14:14:00.001-04:00

Three years ago we trotted out this poll twice, with the Lombardi Trophy and the Stanley Cup splitting the results. This year we actually have the World Cup to watch while we lambaste their lame trophy. It is solid gold, but whoever wins it doesn't get to keep it - probably because Brazil used to win the thing all the time and it was worth more than their currency - they get a gold plated replica.

There are a couple of golf trophies we could put on this (The Claret Jug, the U.S. Open trophy), but since no one ever votes for them I figured I'd just throw the Green Jacket on here. And did you know you can (well, could have) actually buy an authentic green jacket? Winning bid was just over $7K.

The sheer monstrosity of the Indy 500 trophy gets it in - sterling silver, almost five feet tall, 153 lbs, with a suggested retail price of around $1.3 million. All of our candidates are pictured in the previous post, or HERE. If your favorite's not there, just let us know and we'll add it. Fun for the whole family!

poll by twiigs.com

Big Shiny Things! Again!

2010-06-25T13:33:00.001-04:00

Soccered Out

2010-06-25T10:55:00.007-04:00

What you see on the right here is one of many very good reasons why soccer will never make it in the U.S. Well, a version of it. In the Ivory Coast v. Brazil game, Kaka was sent to the showers for having the audacity to let a guy run into him. You can see the real version HERE.

If the U.S. hadn't come up with a miracle goal in stoppage time the other day they'd be sitting at home right now, and we'd be discussing how they had not one, but two goals taken away from them by the referees. Unfortunately, this sort of thing tends to be the rule rather than the exception in soccer. And that's usually the adjective used, "unfortunate," as in "...that was an unfortunate call."

How about "ridiculous?" If some crazy call boots the U.S. in the game against Ghana (as it did the last time they played in the World Cup), we'll see how many people are all giddy about soccer.

U.S. fans, and especially the owners of the teams, simply wouldn't put up with shoddy officiating of this sort. There's a reason they use instant replay in practically every major sport now. Diva players taking swan dives would be mercilessly ridiculed. Guys rolling around on the field like they just got slapped with a shovel - no.

Grow up and we might consider calling you football, soccer. And ditch the freakin' horns already.

WHITEY'S TAKE:
Whitey checked the lunar schedule for the 25th. It's Whitey's day away from the baseball diamond, and he's looking for something to do. Golf? Pops is doing some project with his crew, and it's too hot to go play without him. So what could be relaxing?

Whitey headed out and clicked on the TV, and there it was: Portugal v. Brazil. Puss-Puss (Whitey's Cat) was begging for her morning fix of tuna. What she doesn't know is that she's getting her pill. However, she probably does need a 12 step program.

So Whitey's mind was still studying on the days activities because there was an uncomfortable feeling. Something Whitey couldn't put his finger on. Whitey poured himself a cup of Jaun's Best Bean and went to the chair. No more than two minutes in and yellow cards start flying. It's a chippy nil-nil match, and the announcers are speaking gibberish. But there it was, the answer for a relaxing day.

These soccer players remind me of a fish out of water when they bump into each other. "Quick, bring the gurney!" Wait two minutes later...he's back playing. Really. Whitey's goin' fishin'! If I go nil for the day, at least I'll move the worm back and forth without the medics working on my jig. And my ride home is gonna take me to a better place than where the North Korean soccer squad is headed.

Grunt Free Radio?

2010-06-25T01:13:00.002-04:00

Whitey was runnin' around taking care of this and that over the past three days. From time to time Whitey would be in a bar, house, car, or most likely on his iPhone, watching the tennis match that lasted 11+ hours. Whitey admits a desire to jump the Pond to see the Fortnight. However, upon reflection, Whitey would probably catch a 6-0, 6-0 drubbing by a chick that grunts louder than the chick she just squashed like a bug.

Also, in the car, Whitey's a radio guy. Give me Marty, Morgan, and most of all HR. So on that note, I found it absolutely mind numbing to listen to the soccer match on the radio. That's like trying to find a fly in the car, or is it a bee. Needless to say, Whitey was driving in his rearview mirror.

That said, Whitey will take that mind numbing buzz from 100,000 people before he would sit to listen to a grunt fest from a couple of chicks. Unless the sound is off. Some of them are kinda cute.

Sport or Skill? Cheerleading is a Sport!

2010-06-24T18:14:00.014-04:00

Not really, but it's a snazzy title. In the tradition of rehashing the same ideas over and over again we bring you the first and quite possibly last edition of Sport or Skill? A U.S. District Court will soon decide this issue concerning cheerleading thanks to Title IX, volleyball, Quinnipiac University, and…well go read about it HERE if you want.

Once upon a time when I was a bartender in Norfolk, Virginia, a guy on the correct side of the bar and I started a conversation which continues to this day. To wit: What makes something a Sport? While football is obviously considered a Sport, activities such as golf, tennis, even baseball (John Kruk and David Wells are often mentioned) hang around the fringes of the clique. So, without further ado, we give you some guidelines on how to determine if what you are doing is a Sport, or merely juggling.

NOTE: These are not mutually exclusive. That is, a Sport/Skill not qualifying in one category does not mean automatic disqualification. For those of you more interested in resolving this argument with an SAT-like approach go HERE. Have fun.

1. Number of Participants. If the activity requires more than one person per “team,” than you are most likely participating in a Sport. In order to succeed, all the members of one team must work together to achieve a common goal while simultaneously attempting to prevent the other team from achieving this goal.

Baseball and cricket are quirky exceptions to this since both teams can’t score at any given moment – one can’t score while playing defense. This rule prohibits activities such as golf, tennis, bowling, darts, etc. from being considered Sports. Water polo on the other hand - Sport.

There are many activities with teams, like cheerleading for example. Or synchronized swimming. What separates those activities is the fact that the team ‘performs’ absent direct competition. If pairs figure skating involved negotiating another pair of skaters trying to check them into boards while performing triple axels – well that might be a Sport. The other factor here is…

2. Scoring. This is vital. If your activity keeps score according to how often one team (or, in this case, an individual) achieves some certain goal, then your activity might be a Sport. In contrast, if success in your activity is determined by some arbitrary scoring system, like judges, not a Sport.

Time also falls into this category - one cannot merely be competing against the clock. According to this rule, gymnastics is not a Sport nor competitive diving or the 100 yard dash. Bowling, on the other hand, is a Sport along these lines.

But there are timed Sports. Consider soccer, basketball, football, or hockey. The crucial difference between these Sports and say, downhill skiing, is time really has nothing to do with determining a winner. If in the allotted time of a basketball game no one has scored a basket, they keep on playing. In contrast, a skier could crawl down the mountain to the finish line and whoever did it the fastest would be, voila, the winner.

This rule alone allows a whole host of board and card games into the realm of Sport. So we keep going…

3. Extraneous Objects Involved. If your activity involves the use of a ball or some ball-like object, it is most likely a Sport. This is a tricky one however. Pool (billiards), obviously involving the use of balls, ain’t a Sport.

The key here is one ball or many balls. If there is more than one ball on the “playing surface” of your activity “in play” at any given time, you are probably not engaged in a Sporting event (although dodge-ball…) Also at play here is the concept of everyone participating using the same ball, as happens in the case of baseball, football, soccer, and hockey.

In golf, bowling, lawn darts, croquet, etc., each competitor has their own “ball,” which may or may not make it a Sport, I haven’t decided. Actually in croquet and bocce, the competitors have their own balls but use them against each other on the field of play. Hmm…

Not acceptable uses of balls: rhythmic gymnastics and juggling. In these activities the ball is merely a decoration, and could feasibly be substituted with any random object - chainsaws for example.

4. Live Animals. If your activity involves the participation, willing or not, of some beast not a human being then it is not a Sport. Hunting, fishing, horse racing, calf roping...not Sports. Cock fighting is a Sport for the cock, not you.

Notice I said live animals. Bukashi involves a headless goat or calf which is played with like any random object. Thus, Bukashi is a Sport and I get to post the picture again which is probably why I started this whole thing. “Wait a minute,” you say. “Those chaps are riding horses in Bukashi.” True, as they are in polo as well. So, uh…maybe…I have no idea.

5. More Extraneous Objects. If you are in a car, truck, train, plane, or boat you are not participating in a Sport. Bicycle is close…but no. For the most part, all activities involving propulsion outside your own two feet involve time or are judged. If in the biathlon they shot at each other rather than little round targets, might be a Sport.

6. In its own special category is boxing, which I consider a Sport and qualifies for being one by satisfying absolutely none of the above requirements. Boxing is basically the root of every skill or sport without all of the extraneous wrappings – “I’m gonna kick your ass at…well, I’m just gonna kick your ass.”

The problem with boxing (or MMA) is the lame scoring system, which can be considered arbitrary at best (Rule 2). Go ahead and keep the timed rounds, fire the judges, and you’ll have the purest Sport there is.

If you can’t tell I sort of ran out of steam on this, and since no one is likely to have read this far I’ll leave it at that. You could throw in physical exertion, athleticism, blah blah blah, but I think they matter less than the above. That’s it.

Hey Sport?

2010-06-24T15:47:00.000-04:00

How many ways does one need to explain that there is a difference between a sport and an activity? Take the emotion of the fan out of the equation and look at the facts: sports and games are two different animals. Yes, games are a part of sport, but not vice versa.

No one throws a rook at the king to call checkmate. One does throw a ball to another person to complete a play. Swimming is an activity that can be timed, and so can a sprint. They race the same thing. A clock.

When was the last time a guy took the bump looking at his watch to see if he has to face Manny? Who throws a better ace: the lady at the card table or the SF Giants with Lincecom on the mound? How many checkers can a guy lose before he gets pulled by his manager?

Hunting isn't a sport. If it were it'd be called killing. It's an activity to get you away from the wife! Spelling Bee? Don't get me wrong I'm awful at it, but I've never cried about it. But baseball...yep.

Keep playing spades, dominoes, and all the games you can play with an adult beverage in your hand. Your paycheck doesn't depend on it. And for the majority of us that's why we play - activities - not sports.

PROFESSOR’S NOTE: I needled Whitey into starting this thread so I could expand upon it. There is at least one website dedicated to this idea [HERE] and numerous threads on other sites. I didn’t like any of them, most likely because I’m full of myself. So soon to follow will be a few of our guidelines to rule your sporting life.

App That?

2010-06-23T23:30:00.000-04:00

Whitey has just finished watching the TCU Horned Frogs eliminate the Seminoles and coming on right after is a replay of USA v. Algeria. If you have time to sit and watch this you have way too much time on your hands.

Maybe that time could be put toward a more purposeful use. Maybe there is a drawer in the garage that hasn't been opened for five years needs cleaning. Maybe there is a tabloid magazine in reach. Maybe there is a Star Trek Convention online! Maybe you spent the day wrapping the basement of your mother's house with tin foil to keep The Man from reading your thoughts.

Why not spend some time with someone you care about. Hug your kid, kiss your wife. Email a friend or just get some rest. We won. And if you didn't know...there's an app for that.

From a Bowl?

2010-06-23T11:14:00.003-04:00

Whitey is in the middle of his baseball season. 40 some odd games in six weeks. It's hot and humid. We don't get a lot of sleep and Whitey is really confused.

This morning Whitey heard that there is a chance, as slim as it is, there is still a chance that a team will be sent home and another sent to the elimination round by the casting of lots. Are you kidding me? They have jogged around kicking a ball for somewhere around 90 minutes, three times, and they pick a ball out of a hat to see who moves on? This is what "the World's Game" has for settling a tie?

Maybe The Professor can come up with a better reason than Whitey, because Whitey has a dirty word for his idea. Play-in-game. Decide it on the field, not out of a peanut bowl at the pub.

Go World Cup Yourself

2010-06-21T18:13:00.006-04:00

We have a lot of things going on in the Wide World of Sports: World Cup, U.S. Open, College World Series, NBA Draft, blah blah blah. We start here:

World Cup. There's no lack of story lines, as always seems to be the case. Brazil looks like they just need to show up to win. Same with Argentina. Portugal and Holland also looking quite good so far. Should be interesting to see who comes out of the Group G "Group of Death," with Brazil and Portugal in position to advance, but Ivory Coast could score 10 on North Korea and make it interesting.

Much more compelling is the meltdown of the French, a crazy call in the U.S./Slovenia game, and those freakin' horns. I laugh in the general direction of the French – they'll get no sympathy from anyone, especially the Irish, who got screwed out of a World Cup slot on a bad call in a qualifier. As for the U.S., the head of FIFA's referees committee, Jose Marcia Garcia-Aranda, had this defense in a press conference today:

"Some decisions are not good on the field of play and this is, for human beings, natural. We can't explain every decision. Our duty is to prepare them in the best way we can."

"Later, maybe with the benefit of 32 cameras and thousands of people assessing this kind of situation, we realize these decisions were not fully correct (but) the duty of the referees is not to explain their decision."

"The referees are there to try to implement the laws of the game on the field, not to explain every single situation. Otherwise they are not focused on the game; they are focused on the media. The best players in the world also make mistakes. It's wrong to say the credibility of football is in doubt." [From HERE]

I have highlighted a few curiosities. It appears referees have no "duty" to explain, well, anything. I find this a head scratcher for a few reasons.

I am under no disillusionment that the game I played in the '80's in Ohio bears only superficial resemblance to what's going in South Africa at the moment. That said, I don't remember referees making random calls absent explanation. In fact, I don't remember other World Cups where this was the case (may have happened, but I don't recall.)

Regardless, for the head of a committee in charge of enforcing the rules of a game to say they have no responsibility to explain how they go about doing so is mind boggling to say the least.

Garcia-Aranda claims, "We can't explain every decision." Which begs the question, why not? He goes even further, "…the duty of the referees is not to explain their decision." So, not only are they unable to explain referees' decisions, they seem to be under some obligation to not even try.

But here's what I think is the real kick in the jewels: "The referees are there to try and implement the laws of the game, not to explain every single situation. Otherwise they are not focused on the game…" This statement implies referees should not be required to explain any decision on the field; in fact, they should not even attempt to do so, because if they do they won't be able to do their job.

This seems to be an argument against a scenario that doesn't exist. You don't see players getting upset at every throw-in, corner kick, or even offside call. Sure there can be a moment or two of argument, but the games move on and are none the less for it.

However, when a call disallows a goal we have an entirely different scenario. Surely some sort of explanation is warranted when the referee waives off a goal due to some violation of the rules. Is it too much to ask that that referees explain how they "implement the laws of the game," especially in situations that clearly affect the outcome?

While I agree the referees should not be nit-picked on every call, there are calls and then there are calls. A close call at first base in the first inning is different than the same call in the bottom of ninth in a perfect game. A throw-in call at mid-field in the first half is decidedly different than waiving off a goal in the final minutes of a tie game, and has to merit some sort of explanation. Of the hundreds, if not thousands of calls made in the World Cup so far to ask for an explanation of one doesn't seem too much to ask.

As for the vuvuzelas, I'll leave that to Whitey.

Time Flys?

2010-06-20T21:30:00.012-04:00

It was four years ago, to the week. The Professor and Whitey were sitting in a bar. Great little place down from the Bearcat campus. At the time the Professor didn't have four TV's and we had to watch so many things. What to choose from. This is one of the best times of the year. We have the College World Series, NBA Finals, NHL Finals, the "Dog Days of Summer" making that adult beverage go down like Leon Spinks in a Mike Tyson fight.

We have the U.S. Open being played at Pebble Beach. Inter-league baseball looks to be a hit with the fans, and this year, like that one, gives life to the next breath of hope.

That's the World Cup. Whitey can't say he has watched more than 5 minutes of soccer, including commercials, in the past four years. Whitey thinks it's a great thing that the world has one thing that can bring us all together. However for the record, watching soccer is akin to watching a tennis match on some serious mind numbing substances. It's a game for the true fan.

Whitey is good with the guy who waits four years to be able to go get piss drunk at 9:00 in the morning while wearing his probably brand new jersey. Whitey just can't get the people who only just found out that the Ivory Coast isn't a rival of Irish Spring.

Face it.......soccer isn't going to take America by storm. This is just a wind that blows like the guy at the bar trying to impress the ladies with his soccer knowledge. Chicks dig soccer. They play it. They're better than the men, , not to mention kinda hot. However, Whitey digresses.

Let's just enjoy everything going on. It's summer, and winter is only a few months off. Take a few minutes to see the wonderful world around you. Just remember that the ground is usually hot; because hell hasn't frozen over and soccer will be a distant thought in 84 days. That's the start of The NFL. Enjoy your pint my friend.

Football v. Football

2010-06-19T21:54:00.017-04:00

We have all seen/heard about the great refereeing in the United States’ recent World Cup game versus Slovenia. I thought it would be an interesting study to consider if American football would adopt the some of the concepts apparent in the Rest-of-the-World’s football:

We now join the broadcast of a Patriot/Jets game in the final minute…

“Well John, Sanchez and his men still have a bit of work to do here if they want to pull level. He’s had some good touches but Belichick has managed a stellar game, thwarting the Men in Green’s every probe to keep a clean sheet.”

“Wha…”

“They’re faced with a challenging fourth go at it, needing 17 yards for a fresh slate and find themselves a daunting 42 yards from six.”

“The big thing here is for the line to give Sanchez time to look downfield. With one time out left, I think their best bet is to look to getting a first down, call time out, and then take a couple shots in the endzone. With 33 seconds left…”

“The Jets get their final marching orders from their leader and break ranks for the line of scrimmaging. Sanchez finds himself all alone for the long pass from the center man. Four options split wide…the Patriots appear to be mounting a bit of a challenge on the spot.”

“Look out for Cotchery here…”

“Sanchez receives the ball and here come the Pats! The backers of the line have broken through the front! Oh my! A strike! Sanchez and Cotchery rise to the challenge, a fresh set! And Ryan feels the need to talk this one over. The Men in Green will not go quietly into the night! When we come back, the Jets take aim from 24 yards.”

Commercials. Fill in your own, but one is for toothpaste. And Viagra…it’s still football. When we return to the action we find the Jets facing a third down from the Patriots’ 24 yard line down 7-0…

“…a situation which the New York side now find themselves due to the poor ball in the corner. The ball has been floating today for Sanchez…there has been considerable banter concerning the new Lombardi ball inserted in the playoffs, some saying it is the most oblong ball ever played.”

“Looks like a football to me Al, and…”

“Third and then some and the Men in Green need some magic now. Again, Sanchez will set himself a distance behind the ball. Options abound as he takes delivery! Edwards finds himself on a good path to the post! He delivers! Braylon Edwards has found Sanchez’s ball for six! But wait...the referee has tossed his flag onto the pitch! Oh, and this will take away the score! The referee has waived off the touch of downs! Here’s the call…”

“Holding, on the offense. Ten yard penalty, repeat third down.”

“Ryan is furious on the side. He’s called the official over for an explanation. A dagger, John. What do you think of that?”

“Watching the replay here…I don’t see any holding, or at least any holding that ain’t normal. I don’t see it, but maybe they saw something I didn’t.”

“Ryan is beside himself! The Jets will have to regroup here. Oh my! A score is given and taken away! The referee is waving everyone away, and Sanchez had better be careful lest he find himself a memory in this match. He’s been warned once; should he find himself with another the Jets will be looking to Clemens or O’Connell for the final strike.”

“That’s a bad call. I don’t see any holding there…I’m not sure what he’s looking at…”

“It’s an unreviewable penalty; even if we were to go to the eye replay you cannot review a call of holding. A bad break for the New York side. But here we go…the fourth try [we skipped ahead] and everything hangs on this.”

“I still can’t believe that call. That’s…”

“… a crushing blow to be sure. But here we go, this will be the final chance barring extra time.”

“Extra time?”

“Of course John, the referee can determine, based on whatever whim may fit his fancy, that we shall play on for a yet-to-be-announced period of time. So this may be it, or it may….

“What the…”

“And Sanchez has taken the ball! The clock will run dry as Sanchez is pressured to the outside! The pass escapes! Score!!! Cotchery has done the impossible and pulled his side within one!”

“Great catch by Cotchery, not everyone would be able to make that catch under pressure. Amazing...”

“Additional point is good! And…the referee signals that there will be one minute of extra time. One minute of stoppage time here…”

“What the &%$#...”

“So the Jets will have to play the ball into the Patriots end and see if they can stay the course. We’ll be back.”

Hmm…We have an interesting development here. Extra time. Kickoff. What will happen…more commercials.

“We’re all square here for the final minute in stoppage time. Kick away, and Brady’s boys look for an opening…stopped at the 31 yard mark. And the referee’s whistle ends the match! And a point to each team, a great result in the end for the New York Jets…”

“What? A tie? It’s the playoffs…”

“One point each for New England and New York. They will wait for the Minnesota New Orleans result, a birth in the Super Bowl hangs in the balance. What a…”

“What a…”

And while we all await results from the Minnesota New Orleans match-up, the referee gives no details on what appears, in video review, to be a phantom holding call. No matter, these things happen and there might have been holding by someone, somewhere. Should we have to play on, well, field goals would be a good way to decide this…

I’m taking Holland, TCU, and maybe we shouldn’t count the Woods guy out.

Whitey and the NCAA

2010-03-31T10:42:00.004-04:00

Whitey has been using mathematical formulas from a friend at NASA; trying to come to a number that will split 347, leaving a remainder of 1. Yes these are the things that plaque my mind. Somehow, someway there has to be a way to be fair to "Little Johnny". Well sometimes in the big boy world, somebody gets left out. It may be the nerd in middle school that gets left out. Seems to me some of those guys found a thing called the Internet. Like.....mmmmm. Bill Gates, Mark Cuban, and something about an iThingy.

It all comes out in the wash. At some point Johnny has to go to compete for something. A job, a sale, something, and he will fall, or succeed on his own. He will be rewarded, and sometimes not, but he'll figure it out. We all do to some degree or another. For the past decade or so the NCAA has had 64 teams in March Madness. In the past few years they have added a 64-65 play in game. And that solved????

Now at a fevered pitch, there is a drive to take it to 96. The paper that has the ratio of 96:347 is under the pile of papers on the floor from the number crunching. Again, what would that solve? Has there been a 1- 16 upset in NCAA history? So what is adding 32 teams worse than the 64/65th best teams going to solve? Maybe Johnny should be on the 347th best team in the country, and have a shot to win the National Championship. Remember we are still in "big boy" land. So I'll just say; Really!

Not everyone gets a trophy. There is no number that will satisfy the schools that get left out. There is no number that makes it all better. Somebody has to be left out. Wouldn't it seem just a little easier to take the regular season champs, and the tournament champ of each of each conference in the country, and let them have at it. The regular season has meaning, and the teams that are hot going into March can win the tourney to get in. Johnny's team shouldn't get a chance to play post season unless they earn it.

One would say that football get a bowl bid at 6-6. True, but the bowls don't allow you to play for the championship. There are two that have that honor to play, and one that will hold the trophy high. A tourney with diluted talent shouldn't be sanctioned by the NCAA. Sometimes, enough is enough. Sorry Johnny. Better luck next year.

Whitey Returns

2010-03-03T08:45:00.000-05:00

After a long stint on the DL; Whitey has sprung back into spring. The first baseball of the year is being played on every ball field that isn't covered with snow. The Florida Gators had last weekend off due to the snow in the northeast. This season Whitey will keep a close eye on Baseball from Tobacco Road.

Things seem to be winding down from the Tiger saga, and Whitey has just one thing to say: the guy cheated in his wife. Not you! Not the game. He doesn't owe you a thing. Whitey for one would like to see him on the course once again, but family first.

Another small note from 'in between the lines.' LeBron James beat the deadline to change his jersey number to 6. Why would he do that if he was going to New York.....New York? Plan on the Diesel to be back just in time to face Orlando in the playoffs.

Free Agency starts up in the NFL, and Labor/Owners don't see eye to eye right now. Without players, no revenue. Look for an agreement before the deadline.

Most of all, welcome back to baseball! It's been way too long. Whitey's arm is getting alot of workout throwing batting practice and hitting fungos. Maybe he could catch on with a club, just to smell the joe.

What's New?

2008-02-26T20:00:00.002-05:00

Every once in a while life hangs a curve ball and you get to drive it over the fence. The Professor got a good swing, and planted it in the bleachers. Now it is Whitey's turn to get some chalk on his spikes.

I have two nieces and four nephews. One of my nephews became deaf at the age of two. He had a cochlea implant and has done very well. He is going to have the second implant put in in a month or so, and I have moved to Tobacco Road for the time being. Yes, I'm down here in ACC territory.

I started the process of moving thinking mostly of my sister and nephew however, the best was yet to come. Just a stones throw from the house is the TEAM USA training facility, N.C. State is a driver and a wedge from the house, and the Tar Heels are playing at the USA facility this season. There is baseball everywhere.

The best story I've heard about my nephew was from my sister. Micah went to his first baseball game two summers ago. Being from Norfolk, just down the road from the Durham Bulls, my sister loves baseball. That said, the game they attended was a pitcher's duel - not much action. After the 7th inning my sister said it was time to go. Micah asked if the game was over, to which she replied no. He wanted to watch every pitch, every play. There was no way he was getting up from this - through the 9th and into the 12th inning.

By this time my sister was assured that he would be ready to go. Not so fast my friend. And as if it was just a made up story....it had a classic ending with a walk-off home run by the Bulls, complete with fireworks. After the game on the ride home my sister asked Micah how he liked the game, and his response could bring you to tears. He said it was the first time he could understand a game. All because the umpire called balls, strikes, and outs. He didn't need to hear - he watched.

He loves baseball so I'm sure we'll see more than a few games. UNC is actually hosting Gardner -Webb this season, so the whole family will be at that game. With the second implant, Micah will be able to triangulate sound and background noise will be minimized. It's quite interesting. If you would like to read more on Micah, please check out my brother in law 's live journal the Noetic Toe. I look forward to seeing alot of baseball...and I'll have a couple of nephews in tow. I can't wait.