1. One person said shortly after he and his wife were married they were at a party and he was telling what he thought was a humorous story. He sarcastically said something negative about his wife and everyone laughed. He went on to say that when he got home his wife told him he had hurt her feelings.

He said he was only trying to be funny and hadn’t meant to hurt her feelings. After discussing it they both agreed to never say anything negative about each other in public. He then said that over the next couple of months he had a few slip ups but soon he developed the habit of not saying anything negative about his wife in public.

And she developed the same habit of not saying anything negative about him in public. Then he commented that overall this has had a wonderful effect on their marriage.Focusing on the positive things about each other in both public and private conversations has resulted in their building each other up rather than tearing each other down.

I agree with this habit. Being funny at your spouse’s expense can be very hurtful. We need to build each other up and support each other. Remember, as I’ve said before you need to be your spouse’s safe place and your spouse must be your safe place.

2. Another answer given was when one person said “I don’t recall any advice given on my wedding day, but fortunately I had received good advice on marriage after watching my parents for over 20 years. I watched as my mom watched science fiction movies with my dad even though she would have rather watched musicals or romantic comedies.

“From watching her do this, I learned about putting my spouse’s wants before my own. I also learned about treating my spouse with consideration and respect from watching my dad as he always opened the door for my mom. He never allowed us to speak disrepectfully to her. I learned that continued courtship is important, even if time or money are short. I watched as my parents took time to go on dates, walking together or simply talking somewhere away from the children.”

I agree totally with taking that time to be with each other, we need to stay interested in each other and in each others’ needs and wants. I know in our marriage that taking this time together really has paid off big time for us. I would recommend it. It’s soooooooooo much fun! Well, I’m about of space for this post and I have a few more answers to the question but I’ll save those for next time. In the mean, do all of us a favor and post your own answer to the question.

In case you don’t know what an open marriage is, it allows either partner to have other sexual partners. And what do you think her answer was? Well, as you noticed I said his ex-wife! And now Mr. Cain, who has been accused several times of sexual harassment and of having a sexual relationship with another woman other than his wife while still married to her, is endorsing Gingrich!

Like I said , what a joke! Do we just absolutely have no morals left in this country? Then they want to tear down Mitt Romney. I know for a fact that Mormonism is a Christian faith. We believe in marriage and most Mormons I know are decent people. We want this country to get back on track and we want someone with morals, honesty, leadership and backbone to lead this country.

What I’d like to see is the politicians to stop playing the games they play and care for this country! This country needs someone that has the backbone to do what’s right both morally and financially. Families are having hard times in this country. I’m talking about middle class families.

We need leadership in the White House not someone who would turn it into a whore house! At least I can honestly say that it looks like Pres. Obama loves his wife and is faithful to her. He seems to respect her and cherishes his family. I’d like to see that continue. We need someone to have values running this country! Families need an example to look to of marriage and morals.

I feel like the president and his wife should be the BEST example of that for Americans to follow. So… what are you thoughts about the moral condition of our country and the politicians?

There’s 23% of people who will… re-gift an item, 60% of holiday shoppers who provide gift receipts, 1 gift per person is re-gifted, returned, or unopened and 18% lower value recipients place on gifts than their actual worth. It said 25% of Americans considered giving fruitcake each year and 22% of the people will actually re-gift fruitcake.

And get this. $2.5 billion, yes I said billion was the amount lost in unredeemed gift cards during the 2010 holiday season! Here are some more interesting facts. $800 is the amount the average American spent on gifts and $462 billion was the total amount for holiday sales in Nov. and Dec. 2011.

There were 4 million tons of annual trash from gift wrap and shopping bags and 2.65 billion Christmas cards are sold each year in the U.S. Also, 10 is the number of stories tall a football field would have to be to hold all those Christmas cards. The article said that 50,000 cubic yards of paper could be saved if each person sent just 1 less card and 38,000 miles of ribbon saved-enough to tie a bow around the earth- if every family reused two feet of holiday ribbon.

Now I can tell my kids this when they make fun of me for wanting to save the Christmas or birthday bags and bows for reusing. But I do have to admit I do it to save money! And now I have another good reason to do it. HA! One last thing it said was that the most popular gifts in 2010 were:

#1 – Clothing

#2 – Gift cards

#3- Toys

#4 – Electronics

#5 – Cash.

I hope you find this trivia interesting and a light read. I was just amazed at the amount of gift card money never redeemed. But then again, I’ve lost two gift cards over this last year so when I think about that I can see why that amount is so high! Also, the amount of trash we accumulate during the holidays from shopping bags and wrapping paper is just staggering.

WOW! 4 million tons! It makes you think about all the trees being used for that purpose alone. So maybe we can use just a little less next year and try to re-bag a little more! Anything would help and keep the world a little greener!

I wish I could say that the rest of the year went as well. Sadly, it changed quickly around the first week of Oct. We began having challenge after challenge as a family. When your children have pain and sorrow, so do we as parents. This last few months have been hard, but we’ve pulled together as a family in facing these challenges.

That’s what families do. We’re there for each other to lift each other up and just listen. Sometimes we need to wrap our loving arms around each other or just listen. It’s so hard not to be able to make the problems go away like when they were little. Knowing that I really can’t is so hard.

I know they’re growing and maturing as they handle these things on their own but it’s still hard to have to sit back and just watch. However, I’m so grateful for a husband who supports me and the boys like he does. I don’t think I could’ve been as strong for my children and their challenges without the support from Rick.

I know this was very hard for Rick as well. I hope I was the support that he needed. One thing Rick is so good about is not letting us get lost with our sons’ problems. He was my rock. He know’s how to reel me in and how to say, “We need some time away for the evening. All the craziness will still be here when you get back. But for a couple of hours we’re getting away.”

I appreciated that so much. He was a lifesaver! He’s always my safe place. And that’s an important part of marriage, having that safe place with your spouse. Challenges in families will always come and go. It’s what you do with those challenges and how you handle them that count. If you look forward and grow from these challenges that life throws out to you I’m certain you can become a better and stronger family. That’s what has happened for us. Thank goodness!

I knew my answer was yes I had always been happy! I explained we had been through some challenges and hard times financially but I could truthfully say I had never not been happy. I looked back and realized those challenges were really hard and I wouldn’t want to go through them again.

But we were able to grow closer together and that bond grew because we had endured those challenges. Now that it has been 32 years, I can look back and realize this. Of course, Rick has driven me crazy over a few things over the years and I him, and of course we haven’t seen eye to eye on everything.

We’ve had many differences of opinion and we’ve had to compromise on some things. We’ve had to make sacrifices and still do! But I can truthfully say there’s not another man alive that I would want to go through life with but Rick. He’s my safe place and my love, I’m so grateful we have a happy life together.

I wouldn’t trade it for anything and if I could give my children but one thing it would be the kind of happiness in their marriages that we have. The way the world views marriage today I really hope they can have a chance at happy marriages. It takes one day at a time and a lifetime of days and then you wonder where all that time went and oh how fast the time flies!

I’ve always tried to teach the kids when they were growing up to understand the real reason we were giving and getting gifts and that the greatest gift of all was the birth of our Savior, Jesus Christ. I’ve tried to teach them to carry that feeling of giving and helping others through out the rest of the year.

I think we feel that spirit and peace more at Christmastime is because we’re feeling a small portion of the love that the Savior has for all mankind. People remember and put it into action at this time of year the most. It’s too bad that we can’t seem to carry that feeling with us this strongly all the time. It would sure make for a much kinder, better world. Anyway, I do hope you were able to have a really nice Christmas and to spend time with those that you love, your family!

At this point the trainer would probably realize she had her work cut out for her. Because of your trainer’s courage in taking you on, and her belief in and dedication to your success, you’d move heaven and earth to make her proud.  But then comes the big test. The town you live in has had some major snow lately.

Over the past three weeks, you’d received over 3 feet of snow. And last night you received another major dumping that was formed into high drifts by powerful winds from the north. Plus it was one of your coldest mornings this winter at almost minus 40 degrees with the wind chill.

Brrrrr! So this morning would be your big test. There was no way your trainer could be disappointed in you if you didn’t show. You had a foot of snow in your driveway, the winds were raging outside and it was the coldest morning of the year. Your snowplow guy was swamped clearing driveways and you probably wouldn’t see him for hours.

You had an out! Now, you easily could have crawled back into bed and put off exercising for a day, but it isn’t so easy anymore. Someone else is now holding you accountable and isn’t going to let you fall back into your comfort zone. So what about this? What if instead of blowing off your appointment with the trainer, you put on your snowmobile suit, warm knit hat, skidoo mitts and ski goggles, and got shoveling!

Sure it might have taken almost an hour but you cleared a path so you wouldn’t miss that workout! By doing this you would prove to yourself a well known truth. We can accomplish anything if it means enough to us, but even more so if we have an accountability partner in the process.

As you set your goals and plan your ideal future, make a point of surrounding yourself with people who believe in you and who will hold you accountable for your actions.  It’s so easy to fall back into what is undemanding and comfortable that failure to move forward is always a looming threat.

As you plan to create success in your life whether it be building a successful business, improving your financial situation, optimizing health, or improving your marriage, make sure you have a coach or someone on your success team to hold you accountable and keep you in action.

The power of accountability is incredible. Add this ingredient to your plan for a successful marriage and you’ll amaze yourself by revealing how capable you really are! And now it’s your turn to tell us how you’d like to use accountability to improve your marriage.

an accountability partner for your marriage plays a powerful role in helping you keep your eye on the "bigger" picture
and keeps your head in "the game."  Going it alone may be considered admirable by some who feel the need to declare,
"I did it all by myself!" as though it were the ultimate demonstration of strength of character. However,
it's by no means the best or quickest way to make your dream marriage come true.

Choosing to improve your marriage or pursue any significant goal without an accountability partner will increase your
chances of failure or may severely impede your progress. It's human nature to back off when things get a little
uncomfortable or challenging, and it's at these times more than ever, you need someone in your corner, edging you on
and pushing you further.

Here's a perfect example of the power of accountability. Say you had a workout appointment at the gym. And say you've
worked out off and on for years and but as soon as you felt discomfort in your muscles, you would quit, thinking it
just wasn't worth the pain.  

If the planets weren't in alignment, or your morning toast was slightly burned, or it was one degree hotter or colder
outside than you cared for, it was a good excuse for you not to exercise.But there is absolutely no denying its
importance in maintaining a high quality of life and optimum health.  

When you're not physically healthy, your energy levels are compromised, your mind doesn't function at optimum
efficiency, your moods may be altered and heavy, and an imbalance may be created that will affect all areas of your
life and business.

When one area of your life suffers, they all do, and if an area requiring attention is a major challenge for you,
this is where the need for accountability is paramount. In this example of physical fitness, you know you would never
stick to a program or hold yourself to a certain standard without a partner to hold you accountable. So what would
you do? Well, one thing you can do is a hire a personal trainer.  

But once you hired her, in order for her to be an effective accountability partner, you would have to explain
to her that you hated exercise and if a magic "fitness" pill was invented, you'd be the first in line to buy
it. You might also have asked her if she could do the workouts for you so you could increase muscle tone through
osmosis.<g>

Unfortunately, I'm out of time for this week. We'll continue this discussion on accountability next time.

Day 1

~ Leave a note professing your love for your spouse to find during the day. Put the note where it will be found, easily. Try their briefcase, the driver’s seat of their car, in their coat pocket, in their lunch bag, taped to the receiver of the phone, taped to their
computer, or left taped to a doorknob.

~ As soon as you arrive home for the day seek out your spouse and offer a big, loving kiss. Tell your spouse how much you love him or her and ask about their day. Make this a new, daily habit.

~ As an alternate idea, when your partner arrives home for the day, take their hand and pull them towards you aggressively. Offer a huge hug, kiss and say, “I missed you today!”

Day 2

~ While your partner showers, heat up his or her towel in the dryer.

~ Have flowers delivered to partner at work.

~ Surprise your partner by arriving home with their favorite drink, snack, or ice-cream.

Day 3

~ Arrange for an intimate lunch date with your partner. Afterward, send a virtual card. Tell them how much you enjoyed lunch together.

~As an alternate idea, you could send a real card using today’s technology. Find out how easy it is to do that by going to a great site I’m involved with. (I now send 99% of the cards I send through that site.)

Day 4

~ Call your partner in the middle of the day to discuss your romantic plans for that evening.

~ Print out some love coupons (find them on-line) and present them to your partner. One might say: this entitles loved one to a full-body massage, and sign your name.

Day 5

~ For the kid in all of us! Use multi-colored, sidewalk chalk to draw a BIG heart in red and write. Print out the words, “I love you” in the middle of the heart. Do this someplace that is prominent such as on your driveway so that when your partner comes
home he or she will see it.

~ Cook a favorite meal for your partner and then eat it, slowly, by candlelight.

Day 6

~When the weather is best, take a brisk walk through a nature trail with your love and talk about all the reasons why he or she is so special to you.

~ If the weather is dreary, have an indoor picnic. Spend the time together, inside enjoying your favorite board games and just relaxing and talking.

~ Cuddle up in your PJs and relish a romantic movie together.

Day 7

~ Just sleep in and cuddle together. Call into work and explain you are “under the weather” and need to rest a bit more before coming in.

~ Make a long list of the many reasons why you love your partner as you do and then have them framed and present it to him or her.

~ If you’re temporarily apart from each other, call your loved one just to say goodnight. Recite a favorite love poem over the phone.

So…how can you use these ideas to put some romance back into your marriage?

Here it is. Write this down. You Don’t Have To Get It Perfect. You Just Have To Get It Going. Success in life is nothing more than a series of small wins. However, most people try to tackle a HUGE project or idea and they get so overwhelmed that they never even begin.

Think about it… Bill Gates didn’t create Windows XP before he created Windows 2000, or Windows 95 or even Windows 3.1. But let me ask you a question… Do you think he would have the market dominance he has if he’d waited until he had completed Windows XP? NO way.

All he did was get going. I guarantee you many of the ideas he had in the later versions of Windows were ones he initially dreamed of when he first created Windows 3.1. But he didn’t wait for Windows 3.1 to be absolutely perfect. He just got going. So, I sat back and started asking myself questions.

I was looking for answers as to why people like Martha just keep on experiencing tremendous success, project after project, and why I was struggling to get my projects completed. Through this reflection I saw something that was holding me back. Perhaps you’ve experienced this yourself.

Here’s the problem: I was trying to tackle the whole project all at once instead of breaking it down into bite size pieces. This resulted in me getting irritated, overwhelmed, and disheartened. I then realized I had to stop generating new ideas and start implementing the ones I had. Talk about a wake up call!!

Generating ideas was my form of procrastination. That was a “light bulb moment.” I wasn’t getting any of my ideas completed because every time I came across an obstacle I would stop what I was doing and start brainstorming on something completely different and unrelated.

So let me ask you a question…what form of procrastination is preventing you from getting your projects completed? So often we’re trying to have that perfect home for the holidays. You know. The perfect Christmas tree. The perfect decorations. The perfect Christmas cards. And then we get disappointed and frustrated when it doesn’t happen.

So the moral of this story … just get your projects started and remember that “good enough is good enough.” You can perfect things later. Now it’s your turn. Tell us what you do to get past the procrastination monster during the holidays.