I stumbled upon a fascinating TED talk by Eleanor Longden.

Eleanor suffers from schizophrenia. In the video she shares how she overcame her debilitating illness by accepting her voices.

She calls herself a voice-hearer which, after watching the video, sounds like a superpower to me.

If you have time definitely check out the six and a half minute video.

If not, below are some highlights along with a great lesson learned from the video that you can apply to your own life.

The Power of Hearing Voices

Eleanor’s problems began when she told a friend about the different voices she was hearing in her head.

Her friend told her to get help.

She did, and that began her dismal journey down a road of medication, hospital admissions, hopelessness and despair.

Eleanor said the low point was when she attempted to drill a hole in her head to get the voices out.

Her voices were intolerable until she found a way to make peace with them.

She came to realize that her voices were a meaningful response to painful life events, particularly childhood events.

Eleanor now understands her voices are not her enemies but a source of insight into solvable emotional problems.

Turn Your Weaknesses Into Allies

I don’t know about you but I frequently berate myself about my weaknesses.

After watching the TED video I realized my attitude around my weaknesses did nothing but make me weaker.

Eleanor is an inspiring example of how to change the relationship with the funky parts of ourselves.

After listening to herself and others insist there was no hope for her, she switched it up.

She asked questions, experimented and opened up instead of staying closed down.

She made counter-intuitive choices that allowed her make her weaknesses work for her instead of against her.

She embraced the voices and they became her ally’s.

Once, one of her voices gave her all the answers to an exam she was taking.

LOL

They also serve as an alert. If Eleanor gets stressed or out of balance the voices become more pronounced.

My lower back is my weak spot. When I’m not treating myself well it’s the first part of my body to start yelling at me.

I used to feel sorry for myself having a weak back. But now it keeps me in check and makes it easier for me to stay strong and physically healthy.

Another weakness I’ve always struggled with is how sensitive I am. Other’s would tell me to lighten up mimicking what I’d say to myself in my head.

Now I realize my sensitivity can be powerful. It allows me to tune into to people and find compassion where other’s might not see it.

“Our strength grows out of our weaknesses.”
~Ralph Waldo Emerson

I challenge you to look at something you consider a weakness and ask yourself, “How can this become one of my strengths and help make me and the world around me better?”

It’s kind of cool to realize your weaknesses could actually be a unique gift you can offer the world.

Eleanor is using hers to help people who have suffered like she has.

So what’s your weakness? How can you turn it into a strength?
If you can’t see how a weakness could be a strength, share it with us anyway. Someone else might be able to see what you can’t.

You may be thinking why the heck would I want to know how to ruin my life?

Well, sometimes knowing what can jack your life up helps clarify what you need to do to make it awesome.

Turns out there are lots of different ways to ruin your life.

Who knew?

Option 1 – Stay In One Place

Get stuck
Stay in one place your whole life.
Always order vanilla even though the menu is four pages long.
Become the type of person who sends back lattes.
Save up your money for a plasma TV instead of a plane ticket.
Talk a lot about things you know nothing about.
Have an affair with someone you don’t even find attractive.

Option 2 – Stay In The Past

Refuse to forget your ex.
Make it impossible for yourself to do anything without remembering that you used to do it with them.
Hug your knees under the sheets and think about how safe you felt when they held you at night.
Remind yourself daily of how empty you feel.
Find new ways to make yourself sad.

Option 3 – Stay In Denial

Get drunk all the time.
Consider no Saturday night, national holiday or extended happy hour complete without a vodka-induced breakdown.
Graduate college but keep drinking like you’re still in it.
Notice that cheap beer tastes watery and stale when you drink it alone but drink it anyway.
Look at old Facebook photos wasted and wonder where everyone went.

Option 4 – Stay Rigid

Never drink.
Never do anything that could potentially be “bad” for you.
Treat your body like the temple it is and say no to carbs, yes to wheatgrass, go to bed at ten sharp and turn down cake on your birthday.
Take fifteen different dietary supplements.
Monitor carefully.
Succumb to nothing.
Miss out on everything.

Option 5 – Stay Inadequate

Compare yourself constantly, to everyone else.
Allow the standards of image-obsessed, age-obsessed culture to make you feel decrepit at 25.
Scroll through skinny girls on Tumblr feeling wistful and inadequate.
Pull at the skin on your hipbones, stomach, and underarms in the mirror.
Sigh a lot.
Sigh all the time.

Option 6 – Stay Behind A Wall

Don’t fall in love with anyone or anything.
Put an impenetrable wall between yourself and other people.
Add a fire-breathing dragon and eight yards of barbed wire.
Be suspicious of everyone’s motives.
Hold grudges long after you’ve forgotten what for.

Option 7 – Stay Fickle

Fall in love with everyone and everything.
Run after the next best thing like it’s a bus you’re perpetually late for.
Throw your heart into every other stranger’s hands and be genuinely surprised to be hurt.
Refuse to learn.
Refuse to ever learn.

Curated from: tumblr.

Despite all the different ways to ruin your life, at the base of all of them is this…

We’re all guilty of falling into some of these self-destructive behaviors from time to time.

The great thing about these dips is you can use them as opportunities to be thoughtful about your choices, learn something and grow.

I’ve been known to dabble in parts of options 2, 4, 5, 6 & 7.

How about you? Which options do you gravitate towards when fear kicks into high gear?

The second week of the French Open tennis tournament is happening right now.

Serena Williams is the favorite to win the women’s title.

Last year, in a shocking upset, she lost in the first round.

Recently, when asked about her poor performance in 2012 her response was.

“I wasn’t at the French Open last year.”

Without blinking, she refused to engage in a conversation about last year.

In her mind she had blocked it out.

Now Serena is no joke when it comes to determination equaling success.

This is the CH!CK to watch if you want to see how mental strength affects your ability to realize your dreams.

I found it fascinating that she had chosen to have selective memory and not remember her early exit last year.

Then I thought, she might be on to something here.

So many times we cling to the memories where we made a mistake, didn’t succeed or got hurt. But how does that help us moving forward?

Sure we can learn some things by having a moment of reflection, but after that does it help to hold on to those memories?

All they do is make us feel insecure and afraid to try again.

Like Serena we need to focus on the wins not losses.

Who cares if your parents scolded you for failing at something.

Who cares if that business you started didn’t pan out.

Who cares if your got your heart broken.

Those events have no bearing on your future… unless you let them.

Help realize your potential by wiping your mind clean of memories that don’t serve your greatness.

My body contorted in an unnatural way.

I held my breath in response.

“Remember to breath”, she said.

Easy for her to say, she wasn’t sitting here twisted up like a pretzel.

I struggled as the yoga teacher talked us through one awkward pose after another.

“I’m doing this on purpose”, she said.

“I want us to sit in our bodies instead of in our heads where we tend to think or judge our way through challenging poses.”

We were learning how to be comfortable being uncomfortable.

Look up the definition of uncomfortable and it says, painful; rough. It’s no wonder we try to avoid that feeling at all costs.

But we can’t.

Why?

Because the discomfort zone is where the magic happens.

Being uncomfortable is the only way to grow. Being uncomfortable is the only way to create change in your life. Being uncomfortable is the only way to realize your dreams.

Learning to embrace the uncomfortable is a required skill for all superheroes.

That’s why we talk about it often. It’s not one of those things you can read in a blog post, acknowledge it and then move on about your day.

Like mastering any new skill, it takes practice.

You must leave your comfort zone and venture out into the unknown regularly. It’s helluv uncomfortable out there.

How To Be Comfortable With Being Uncomfortable

We all have a comfort zone. The size varies. The bigger your comfort zone the more you can experience and achieve in life.

To expand your comfort zone challenge yourself with new and unfamiliar experiences. Once they become familiar your comfort zone will expand accordingly.

If this type of behavior is new to you the best thing you can do is take baby steps.

1.  For a week notice every time you are uncomfortable. You don’t have to do anything. Just start to become aware of situations where those feelings come up. Notice how you feel, what your body does. Notice if you tend to shut down.

2.  Commit to doing one uncomfortable act each week. Start small. You don’t want to freak yourself out before you even get started. Pick something that’s mildly uncomfortable. You’re building a muscle. Pace yourself so you don’t get injured.

3.  Put something uncomfortable on your to do list every day. Once your more comfortable with the uncomfortable make it a daily practice.

Hanging in the discomfort zone will boost your confidence, help you achieve your dreams and make you happier.

Only 2% of the population have the ability to be superheroes and master this skill. As part of that 2% remember to implement the 2% mindset.

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The payoff is definitely worth the pain.

When was the last time you pushed yourself outside your comfort zone?  Did it pay off?

I was breathing heavy.

My heart was pounding.

The clock said 11:12 pm as I leaped into bed, clicked the lights off and plunged myself into darkness.

Whew!

Three minutes to spare.

This was how the beginning of my 30 day sleep challenge began.

What exactly was the challenge?

{photo via Chantel Beam}

To be in bed, with lights out by 11:15 pm for 30 days straight.

Why?

Because before starting this sleep challenge I was having regular bouts with grumpiness…I wasn’t nice.

I felt like crap and it showed in my face and how I felt about myself…I wasn’t sexy.

My memory was crap and I struggled to concentrate…I felt dumb.

I hoped getting some quality sleep could turn this around.

What Is Quality Sleep?

A week before that escapade to get to bed by 11:15, I sat with a friend of mine who is a naturopath doctor. I told her I wanted to have more energy and thought eating less sugar or exercising more might help.

She said the number one thing I could do to improve my health was get quality sleep.

I told her I never slept with an alarm. I thought quality sleep was letting my body sleep as long as it wanted.

Wrong!

Turns out quality sleep is connected to the time you go to sleep more than the amount of sleep you get.

Two hormones the body secretes are growth hormone which is considered the fountain of youth and cortisol which is known as the stress hormone.

Before midnight more growth hormone and less cortisol is released.

After midnight more cortisol and less growth hormone is released.

So staying up after midnight puts unwanted stress on your body and limits the healing and rejuvenating powers sleep offers us.

The Effects Of A Regular Sleep Routine

I’ve been consistently going to bed by 11:15 pm for two months now. The effects are subtle but amazing.

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So here I am two months in and I feel great.

According my naturopath doctor friend it only gets better.

Repairing a body that’s been jacked up by years of poor sleep patterns doesn’t happen overnight.

It can take several more months to feel the full benefits of getting proper sleep.

When you sleep:

• Your brain recharges
• Your cells repair themselves
• Your body releases important hormones

Sleep can help you:

• Reduce stress
• Regulate your hormones
• Improve your memory
• Help you lose weight
• Prevent depression
• Help you heal faster
• Make you more alert and have faster reaction times

One other note, if you can’t go to bed before midnight, the next best thing is to set a regular time you go to bed every day.

I wish for everyone to try this and feel nicer, sexier and smarter like I do.

If you feel ready to play with your sleep patterns check out another post I wrote with some tips for how to get great shut eye.

What are your current sleep patterns like? How do they help or hinder your life?

On the spiritual plane, you have no competitors. There is no competition for your position, as you are a unique expression of the Mind of God. You not only have a place in the universe; you have an essential function in the universe. Only you can do the job of being you, and the universe itself is left incomplete without you. It is not arrogant but humble to realize this, as you place yourself in service to the greatest drama there is: the actualization of your own potential.

~ Marianne Williamson

He stood over her, an eager knight-in-shining-armor, except his armor was a cracked, leather motorcycle jacket.

Her eyes sparkled as she peaked up at him from under her helmet.

They giggled, purposely knocking their hard hats together, sharing a helmet kiss.

He double checked her chin strap, then lingered, stealing a real kiss.

She slid behind him wrapping her arms around his waist as he revved his Harley.

They looked so happy and peaceful, a perfect compliment to the warm, autumn morning.

I felt a pang of jealousy as I watched them sail off down the road.

Where was my knight-in-shining-armor?

The street was empty.

I guess he wasn’t showing up today.

Making Friends With Jealousy And Envy

I used to feel horrible when jealousy or envy came to visit. They made me feel uncomfortable and embarrased, like that one relative you always try to avoid at family functions.

It sucked having to admit any connection to these emotions.

I noticed when things were going well in my life, J & E didn’t come around much.

If I was struggling with life, suddenly they were banging on my door every other day.

At first I pretended I wasn’t home. I ignored their incessant knocking.

But then one day, out of sheer frustration, I let them in.

We sat on the couch together and I discovered they had a message for me.

JEALOUSY: We notice some bitterness in you lately.

ENVY: That girl who’s career you wish you had…

JEALOUSY: Heh heh. Yeah, I gotta kick outta that stomach ache you got when her TV show premiered.

I bowed my head in shame.

ENVY: Don’t feel bad. That stomach ache had nothing to do with her and everything to do with you.

JEALOUSY: It’s our way of lighting a fire under ya.

ENVY: Help you to zero in on what’s missing in your life.

That little convo was eye-opening for me.

All jealousy and envy were doing, was shining a light on areas of my life where I had dissatisfaction.

Jealousy and envy were inviting me to be more honest with myself.

Instead of hating the people who made me jealous, they could be my guides. They could inspire me and serve as a starting point to help me figure out what I needed to do to get what I wanted.

Since that day I’ve learned a lot from hanging with jealousy and envy:

• Discovering a passion I didn’t know I had.
• Getting hints at what my purpose in life might be.
• Bringing to the forefront things I needed to face in my life.
• Realizing I was in denial about something.
• Clarity with how to realize a goal.
• Learning to trust and realize there is enough space for everyone to flourish.

Now, I thank jealousy and envy every time they come to visit me. They’re my built-in wake up call.

Oh, and as for my lovebird neighbors I watched with longing.

Jealousy told me, given the lack of men in my living room, I might want to get out of the house a little more.

How about you? Do you struggle with jealousy or envy? Have you learned anything from these emotions?

“You are such a fucking loser!”

Those were the words I caught myself muttering under my breath.

Who was I talking to?

Me!

Yikes!, was my next thought.

Did I talk to myself like that all the time?

Frankly, until that moment, I hadn’t noticed.

From that day forward I paid closer attention, and what I discovered WAS NOT CUTE!

My thoughts were berating me all day long.

I discovered my negative self-talk years ago. It was during a very rough patch in my life.

At the time, I was so desperate for change, I resorted to something that seemed stupid and silly.

Affirmations.

I recorded a bunch of affirmations and played them morning, noon and night.

They helped me rewire my brain and start to see myself in a more positive light.

Your Thoughts Create Your World

Not only do our thoughts determine our emotional state, they can literally affect your physical world.

Skeptical?

Check this out.

I injured my back in my early twenties.

By my mid-thirties I had pretty much accepted I’d have daily back pain for the rest of my life.

But then I met a guy named Frank Titus. He helped me fix my back.

The therapy consisted of me doing twenty minutes of daily exercises.

But here’s what’s deep.

About seven months into the physical therapy we hit a block. I felt better, but there was a knot in my lower back we couldn’t get to no matter what exercises Frank gave.

One day, while doing my exercises, I noticed my thoughts.

“You’re never going to get rid of this back pain completely.”

I had gotten so used to dealing with the discomfort I couldn’t see my life any other way.

After that I consciously attached positive affirmations to my back exercises routine.

Within two weeks the final knot released!

Negative self-talk is so ingrained in our daily behavior, more often than not we don’t even notice we’re doing it.

So the first step is noticing, then you can neutralize the negative thoughts with positive ones.

The Mirror Of Awesome

After my post about the Dove video, I got messages from several people saying how hard it was to describe their beautiful traits.

“All the more reason to get your butt over to the comments and describe yourself”, I said.

They didn’t.

It made me sad.

So here’s a fun and less public exercise.

I can’t help it. I’m on a “love yourself” mission.

• Pick a mirror in your house, the one you use the most.
  This will become your official Mirror Of Awesome.
• Any time you look in that mirror you must say at least one ridiculously nice thing to yourself.
• If you catch yourself saying something unkind, immediately neutralize this by saying three nice things about yourself.

CH!CK Vibe Affirmations

I love affirmations but a lot of times the wording is… well… kinda whack.

So I came up with a few affirmations that seem more fitting for hip, funky, no-nonsense superCH!CKs like yourselves.

You can right click and download the graphic or an audio recording of the affirmations. Or download both!

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If mine don’t work for you, make up your own.

If you’re not feeling an audio recording, write affirmations on your mirror so you see them everyday.

At one point I had affirmations on every mirror in my apartment. That was eight constant reminders.

Do you use affirmations? What are your favorites? Let’s make a list in the comments everyone can borrow from.

Perched on the couch, I nervously waited my turn.

Two other women shared the sofa with me, all of us anxious to know the same thing…

Why were we still single?

There were twenty people in the room and the three women looking for love had somehow gravitated, like magnets, to the same couch.

Funny how like energy attracts like.

We hoped for an answer from the woman standing in the middle of the room.

She was a psychic.

Each guest had been granted the chance to ask her one burning question.

One man wanted to know about his recently passed mother.

The psychic connected to his mother on the other side.

The message she brought back left the entire room in tears and the grieving son at peace.

Then came my turn…

What do I need to focus on to attract a loving partner into my life?

She paused, then said she needed to speak to me privately.

All eyes landed on me.

Gulp!

Everyone else had gotten their answers in front of the group.

What had she seen or heard? My stomach did that uncomfortable loopty loop.

Uh oh.

I had asked the Universe to help me practice being more authentic.

Was being more authentic and drawing love into my life connected?

Somehow I knew, the message the psychic had received held an opportunity.

I just didn’t know if I could be brave enough to take it.

Darn you Universe; always ready, willing and eager to give me what I ask for.

Why couldn’t the answer feel like a pillow fight instead of a sucker punch to the belly?

After everyone had gone, the psychic and I spoke in a quiet corner.

When I’d asked my question she had seen a black line. Then a voice had told her to speak to me privately.

“Had something traumatic happened to me as a child?”, she asked.
“No!”, was my initial response.

But as I lay in bed later that night, the little girl in me started to remember…

A family friend placing his hand on my seven year old body where he shouldn’t.
An 8th grade teacher sending me “Do you love me?” notes.
A high school coach justifying a back massage after a workout and making a comment about my bra.

Up until that moment, I had convinced myself these experiences weren’t “that bad”. They could have been much worse, I’d rationalized. I had pushed them aside and moved on.

But the jig was up. The Universe had spoken. To be more of me, I was going to have to visit the dark corners of my soul and shine some light in there.

Cough!

Damn, it was REALLY dusty in here.

I asked the psychic what I needed to do.
“Clear out the emotional energy connected to these events”, she said.

“How do I do that?”
“Energy healing focused on your first chakra.”

It turns out blockages in the first chakra are very common with women which is why I wanted to share my story. Maybe some of you can relate.

I’ve been on a quest to heal and balance my first chakra ever since that memorable night a couple of months ago.

Based on all my research I made a fun, superhero inspired, Root Chakra Infographic for you.

It explores the qualities of the first chakra plus ways to heal it and make it stronger.

Even if you can’t relate to my story a little first chakra clearing never hurt anyone.

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Tears streamed down my face.

Listening to the women in the video below was painfully familiar. It reminded me how hard I am on myself.

But here’s what really sucks.  I know how mean I can be and yet I still struggle to change it.

What the hell is up with that!?!?

Okay I know what’s up with that.  The media, advertisers, society all hand us a major mind fuck.

“See those flaws? You should fix that!”

According to Dove, only 4% of women around the world consider themselves beautiful.

Damn it! This is a job for the CH!CK Revolution. It’s time we killed this behavior.

You can’t be a superhero if you don’t embrace your own beauty.

In the video Dove shows how we are our own worst beauty critics.

A former forensic artist did two sketches of each participating woman. One sketch was based on the woman’s self-description, the other was based on another person’s description.

Check out the video, then join me below for a one minute act of courage to get the ball rolling in becoming a superhero for yourself.

Here’s the deal.

You’re gorgeous. Plain & simple.  But me saying it doesn’t mean jack if you aren’t saying it.

So I’m asking every woman reading this post to write a comment describing how beautiful they are.

Then I’m asking you to ask every woman you know to post a comment describing how beautiful they are.

I bet you want to brush off the challenge.  Uncomfortable feelings have probably already surfaced.

That’s okay.

Do it anyway.

Dedicate a couple of minutes to get your self-love on.

We are literally ‘more beautiful than we think’ and that needs to change.

I’ve gone first to get the ball rolling. It was really hard. I looked in the mirror, connected to my heart and described myself.

I could tell I wasn’t being as complimentary with myself as I would with someone else, but it’s a start.

Now it’s your turn. Push past the discomfort. I dare you!!!