How Can I Be Born Again?

Why Am I Embarrassed to Be A Christian

2017-02-02T12:24:00.001+08:00

Why Am I Embarrassed to Say That I Am A Christian

For YMI Jan 2017.

(This is the unedited draft before the editing process)

Colleague: “I heard things about XYZ Company. It shouldn’t be so Christian, they should hire secularly, like the rest of the sector.”
Me: “Yea, I heard those things myself, and I was a former employee there. I do understand why they do certain things though.”
Colleague: “Correct right? They shouldn’t be so Christian. Then how did they hire you? You’re not Christian right?”
Me: “Actually I am.”
Colleague: “Oh.”
Me: “Yea.”
*End of Conversation. Goes back to our work awkwardly.*

Just last week this was my actual conversation with a colleague. “How apt.” I thought, since I was gonna write this article on being embarrassed to say that I am a Christian.

Being from a family of church-goers, and attending a mission school for 10 years of my life, I am the stereotypical church kid. As a child I not only attended one church, but I actually attended two each Sundays. Then in my teens, I spent every other day travelling for an hour and a half to spend time with my youth peers and youth church staff. My Saturdays in church youth ministry began early at 7am and usually ended past 11pm. At 17, my energy seemed boundless and having relatively more freedom than a child, I literally spent most of my Saturdays talking to people, attending classes, being a crew for children Boys & Girls Brigade Company, being visual crew, crafting out discussion plans and more. Besides, I was heavily involved in para-church activities on campus, and even worked in a parachurch organization.

Yet when I was with my classmates or when I began to be in the workforce, I would be really embarrassed to say that I am a Christian. Usually my English name, a name of a famous Pharisee, being a rather rare name, would become an icebreaker and people would ask the origins of my name where I’ll sheepishly tell them it’s from the bible.

That’s where one of those awkward “oh.” moments would arise, usually preceding an abrupt conversation end, or an equally abrupt change of topic.

I always admire my friends who met Christ, heard His word, received with joy and converted, where their lives are shining, exemplary examples of how Christ redeems their lives and they are usually the ones who daringly proclaim that they are Christian, in spite of their circumstance or persecution. A friend started a company and christened his company “Salt & Light”. I was amazed! It was something I would not do for fear of further tarnishing the name of Christ and Christians in my city. “What if the company mess up, and people will see and scoff again about Christians and their companies?”.

His response: “Nothing to hide”.

And that episode taught me the true meaning of being Salt and Light.

It was an identity issue. When Jesus preached this on His famous sermon on the mount,

Matthew5:13-16 “You are the salt of the earth, but if salt has lost its taste, how shall its saltiness be restored? It is no longer good for anything except to be thrown out and trampled under people's feet.

“You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do people light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a stand, and it gives light to all in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that[b] they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.

In Him, he gave our identity as “salt” and “light”. That the essence of salt and light is not that we attain those, but that he has made us to ‘become’ salt and light.

Why then was I always embarrassed to be a Christian? In my language, “why am I always so pai-sae to say that I’m Christian?”

There are probable reasons why we remain incognito Christians.

First, we probably know we are not living up to how a Christian should be.
We know that we are not being truly Salt and truly Light in our families or schools or workplaces. We know that we are called by Him to be His Lights, shining like stars in the dark sky. But when we look at our own behavior, our own conduct, reality is not congruent with what should be. Our families and colleagues are the ones who see us most often in a day. And they see many aspects of your life. Knowing that the light is not shining bright from you, makes us ashamed to declare that we are Christian to our watching, non-christian colleagues and family.

Second, we probably want to give ourselves permission to compromise and set a lower standard to fit in. Other times, in those flashes of fleshy weakness, we do not want to disclose that we are Christian for fear that we must constantly be on top form, and have to behave in a goody-two-shoes manner all the time. There are times our fleshy side wins the Spirit within us and we do the things we do not want to do. So we do not tell the world that we are Christian just so that we can give ourselves that allowance to not be on top form.

Third, we probably dare not risk being distinctive.
We know what Jesus says about being Salt and Light. But in daring to be so, a lot of our actions come into scrutiny into His light. Not just about being a good worker or family member or friend, but life-giving, distinct and perpetually sacrificing. That was Jesus’ model.

We then realise that being Salt and Light affects not only what you avoid doing, but also what you do proactively.

What you do or do not do has to stem from that identity Christ given us.

I do realise that when you choose to be unashamed and declare upfront that you are indeed a Christian, it makes it easier to live from that identity – Salt and Light. But of course, in John 15-16, Jesus does warn us, that it will come with a cost. Being a Christian literally means to be Christ’s ones.

This identity of Salt and Light, requires courage. Immense amount of courage. Will you join me in being less embarrassed to be Christ’s ones?

How God Taught me to Give part 2

2016-12-20T15:58:00.003+08:00

In my previous article I shared how people taught me to give. I experimented and tried to give as much as I could in that year. On my own, there are times when giving stems from a selfish heart. Other times, I preferred to be self-indulgent and spend on myself.

Some lessons I learnt from the experiment were that to make generosity a lifestyle, it had to be permeate your choices, daily and consciously.

2 Cor9:6-9
The point is this: whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows bountifully will also reap bountifully. 7 Each one must give as he has decided in his heart, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. 8 And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that having all sufficiency in all things at all times, you may abound in every good work. 9 As it is written,

“He has distributed freely, he has given to the poor;

his righteousness endures forever.”

Oftentimes, this passaged has been used in several ways and many times it has caused discomfort in many hearers. Yet this passage is fundamental to our understanding of being in a generous lifestyle.
Being of good cheer
To be generous over the course of your life, there must be some way of doing it in a sustainable practical way. Avoid giving out of compulsion for God loves a cheerful giver. (2cor9:7). How then do we build cheer? Ps 37:3-7 gives us some clue. Trusting in Him, Delighting in Him and Committing our way to him. Spend time in the Lord and enjoy his presence (ie: Delighting). Let him fill your cheer and contemplate on His cross and his generous love that he was willing to die and save us.

Intentionality, Discipline, Consistency,
In the earlier part of 2 Cor 9, in verses 1-5, he told the more affluent Corinthian Christians to be prepared with a love-gift to honour and serve the poverty stricken Macedonian Christians. They were legendary in their selfless giving despite being in poverty. Our generousity-inclined lifestyle has to be an intentional choice. It must become a discipline to give often, consistently. For that, like every other aspect of our lives, we have to plan for it.

Stewarding and budgeting for this lifestyle:
In my city, there is an annual shopping marketing blitz called the Great Singapore Sale or affectionately known as GSS.
To really incorporate generousity into our lifestyle, we have to budget for it. Using GSS as a simple acronym, here is some ways to be generous often, and consistently.
G- Give
Decide on an amount or percentage of your monthly income & time that you hope to use to give. This is over and above your tithe. The new testament principle does not give a percentage but simply “be generous”. Find people around who will be blessed and ultimately be intentional that each gift is a worship and to let people know about Jesus.
S-Save
As stewards of God’s money, save to the glory of God. Saving is pragmatic, and will allow us to have a simple life, but also, save with the intention that if God calls you to begin your calling, you are able to begin immediately with the financial resources He allows you to steward.
S-Spend
Spend prudently as a wise steward, knowing that our resources are His and each endeavor with our finances is a testament to who Christ is in our lives.

So let our stewardship and lifestyle veer towards generousity but each step, delighting in God, delighting and being of good cheer, enjoying the process of giving as our daily worship to those in need, and people we meet.

How God Taught me To Give part 1

2016-12-20T15:57:00.002+08:00

It’s Christmas Time! A time of gift exchanges, reflection and catching up with old friends!

The past decade, as I entered adulthood in my late teens, I kept meeting inspiring people. People who were called full-time, missionaries, community workers, social workers, random people I met and spoke to, family members, colleagues, classmates, bosses, all kinds of people. They gave their life to various works, to various causes.

But the one thing that threaded my inspiration of them were their tireless generousity. Not all were Christian. In fact, some of my most generous friends are non-believers.

I wondered, what is it about their generousity that elicits inspiration? Why is selflessness so fantastically alluring? What differentiates Christian generousity from non-Christian generousity? Should it, or must it differ? I wanted to emulate that giving spirt and wanted to learn how to give.

The primary way God taught me to give was by example from family, people, from churches, from people I met, books I read the past decade since I was 18. The hodgepodge of generous stories taught me about the beauty of generousity and in turn taught, influenced, modelled and even mentored me no matter how long or how brief the interaction was… Here’s my tribute to the many teachers of generousity in my life:

Family
My mum’s family were 3^rd generation Hainanese naturalized immigrants and her siblings are the Baby Boomer Generation, who grew up in 50s-60s Post-war Singapore. Since a child I was always amused, sometimes intrigued by how my mum and her numerous siblings exchange gifts almost on a weekly basis. Although my mum is the only believer in the family, I caught a glimpse of what Romans 12:10 looks like: “¹⁰Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honour.” This pattern was started by my late Grandma and interestingly, my sisters has also adapted my mum’s extravagant generousity despite their own struggles and various ailments. My cousins always remember my mum as the only aunt who gives and accepts them despite their life-choices.

Her giving was not confined to gifts but she used gifts as a tool to love.

If indeed our Christian family is indeed our true spiritual family, should we not live this lifestyle of “loving affectionately, and outdoing one another in showing honour” to those who are siblings in the faith? It must be our lifestyle.

Friends / People
I remember friends who painstakingly crafted, created random gifts for friends with such thoughtfulness and personalization, and I wonder why’d they do it? Many shares that it was a culture they’ve known all their lives. Their family elders modelled thoughtfulness and generousity to them as children and now they are doing so consistently.

I remember S, a very strong lady, who managed to get diverse gifts for each person at one evangelistic Christmas gathering, I asked her how she managed to get such a diverse and even personalized gift for the close to 100 participants that night. I was amazed as the gifts were not cheap! She told me each personalized gift was a prayer, but the gift buying did not happen just during the Christmas season, but she took time to buy various items throughout the year.

A consistent lifestyle it was, to be generous.

I remember my ex-colleagues of social workers, who were generous even when it hurts.
The team gave, loved, treated each other, cooked for each on such a regular basis it was a beautiful culture. The supervisors and senior management even remembered our birthdays individually and gave us good gifts on our birthdays. I cannot comprehend giving such love to 100 staff on such a regular basis. This, was on top of our daily work then, that involved being generous to our clients day by day. They went the extra mile for clients, getting them supplies from their own pocket, and sometimes after all these extra miles to only receive complaints when some clients get unhinged in stressful times. Yet they still go on.

I remember Mdm D, a Cambodian non-believer, who together with her husband, worked hard to grow their business, with the sole aim of helping her fellow countrymen. She provides numerous jobs, and even homes for her farm workers to raise their family. Being our host in Cambodia, she regularly stopped the bus to feed and clothe random beggars on the street. It was a lifestyle of generousity.

These people I met showed me the beauty of generousity and more importantly, how very possible it was to integrate generousity into our lives.

Churches and Christian Organisations
Peers, people and friends inspires us with individual generousity and thoughtful effort. But when a church or Christian organization do it corporately as a representative of Christ, the beauty is full.

I remember a church in Bangkok, Thailand, who hosted us Singaporeans as we jointly ran a camp for youths and young adults.

The Thai and Singaporean teams were almost the same age, young urban working adults in our mid twenties. Yet here were a team of our peers who modelled for us hospitality. Many took many days of leave and rented vans to drive us around. The lay pastor, a lady, let us stay in her home and gave us sufficient space to rest. Food being important to us South-East Asians, when they fed us, they fed us abundantly. It was a high cost they were willing to bear. They set the standard for urban hospitality, and we pass on this legacy that when we have any opportunity to host foreign guests and teams. As best as we can.

I remember two Singapore churches who invited the wider body of Christians in the city for training conferences, one a 1000-member church, another a 100-member church. Both church families overwhelmed us with their corporate generousity and kept piling on us hospitality, gifts to the extreme. What they were doing were not just for the conference or training, but they were simply demonstrating what they do on a weekly basis. It was again, lifestyle generousity on a corporate scale. The larger church focused on their immediate community while the smaller church had only one ministry: street kids. What was amazing, was that the hospitality shown was not a messy, spontaneous show, but a intentional lifestyle originating from their leadership and administration.
If the Lord puts you in a position of leadership in an organization or church, will you be willing to model Christ’s generousity corporately?

Mentors
I am blessed to know two great men who have taken the past decade of their lives to listen to countless hours of our cries for help, counselled us late into the night, and was intentional about teaching us the bible several times a week no matter how fatigued they are. They showed us generousity of love in longsuffering-ness. The older mentor was actually the mentor of the younger mentor for more than 25 years! They taught me how to give, nurture, build love over a long, long period of time. They showed me how sowing and discipling is never a once-off 6-month programme, but life on life over a lifetime.

Are we willing to be this generous in our longsuffering to build up the present youth and children?

Books
If there is one book on generousity, it must be “No Greater Love” Mother Teresa. In there, the late great Mother Teresa (now St. Teresa) pens her thoughts and reflections from her several decades of work among the slums in Kolkata. In there she transparently shares her trials, and her struggles to even be generous day by day. One refrain she writes often, is the passage in Matthew 25:40, where King Jesus says, “Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.” Mother Teresa reflects that each act must be a worship to Jesus. Her love for Christ is true and devoted and she writes about Jesus throughout the book, how His love His generousity enables her to do the work even when she does not want to.

She challenges her readers to “give till it hurts, and give till it hurts no more”

Experiment on your own
Despite having all these people in my life, the most difficult is still to live out this generous lifestyle. I can learn all I want and end up never doing, or never intending to do. In 2014, I attempted to try to incline towards giving often. I realized how much of a taker I am rather than a giver. It was a very hard time to change life-long inclinations.
Only the knowledge that God was generous and he wants to use us to be his generous representatives here on earth.

In that year, I found myself vacillating towards all kinds of extremes.

There were days when I did not want to give at all, and I became self-indulgent and ‘gave’ to myself. Other times I gave out of selfish motives.

These are times we realise that our hearts truly need Christ’s cross and we truly need to be saved.
What began as an experiment to try be more generous revealed how much a taker I am.

When we begin to comprehend the amazing grace Christ truly gave all for us, we begin to comprehend that we are called to be on His mission to exhibit his generousity. Read on how poor Macedonia gave abundantly in 2 Cor 8-9, which was the guiding passage on generousity.

Love & The Daddy Heart of God

In 1 Corinthians 13 Paul expounded in his famous treatise of the ‘more excellent way’: Love. 1 Cor 13:3 “If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing.” That even if we give away everything, but do it not out of Christ’s love, we gain nothing.

Nothing.

Our generousity must be an outflow from Christ love to us, and also an intentional message about our Daddy God’s love.

You might wonder, “I am no Mother Teresa”, “I am not rich”, “I am not in some noble helping professional”. The life models of the several peoples who showed me about their generous giving life were from all walks of life, very poor to very rich. It is a consistent intentional lifestyle to be generous.

Christian generousity must and should differ from what everyone else does. We have a message of a very rich king who emptied himself and became poor, died rose again, so we can be adopted to His family and allow Him to demonstrate His living life in us.

A well-known pastor in my city-state wrote extensively about the God of the How Much More. In Matthew 7:11 “how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him!”

Get to know your Daddy God intimately. And as his child, we live out the identity he given us: Child of God. And from there we reflect our Daddy’s generousity to all.

6 things about forgiveness

2016-10-20T14:47:00.000+08:00

Wrote this piece for ODB YMI.org

This is its raw unedited form.....

---

How are you like when you are angry? Do you immediately lash out at people around you? Others of us are the type that silently absorbs it in, calm on the surface, but deep inside, a sparkplug activating the whole mechanism of hatred whirring, accelerating. Some others, numb themselves then when it gets too much, inflict self-hurt or run to their solace of their addictions.

Think, then, were there relationships that were burned up because of anger? Shipwrecked because one party was bitter?

Do you have outstanding, unresolved conflicts? There will definitely be a high chance that unforgiveness is lurking in those storms.

Unforgiveness, I suspect, is no stranger to many of us. We grew up with whole families of relatives that are cut-off from the rest of family because of unforgiveness. We know of former romantic lovers who became bitter nemeses, trying to outdo the other in tarnishing the other’s reputation. We know of former co-workers or business partners all out to undermine each other because of unforgiveness.

We probably have deep hatred for others as well! Enviously wishing our sibling wasn’t so capable that we have to live in their shadow; having had our family say hurtful words to us when we were little; being in a family where one member was an addict, abuser, disabled or chronically ill where we were sinned against or neglected or made the scapegoat unfairly.

I lived in a family where bitterness and unforgiveness were the order of things It took me my whole life of 28 years to forgive them. I observed that. Bitterness and Unforgiveness are strange burdens to bear:

i) Bitterness and unforgiveness feel awful but is almost impossible to let go

Isn’t it strange that we hate to be bitter (after all it’s the same word as the most repugnant taste!), but strangely, we find the need to be near it. It feels like it sucks our energy and “like rottenness to our bones (prov17:22)”

To confront a bitter person and to tell him/her to forgive immediately, it would be met with stiff opposition or hostility. Why so? If bitterness and unforgiveness is as unpleasant as it is, why is it so hard to let go of?

ii) Bitterness and unforgiveness is a choice.

There was once a mother who scolded her young son for harbouring a grudge against his sister. Rudely he retorted “If it’s so easy, why don’t you forgive your own brother?”. Shocked at his impetuousness, the mother reacted and exclaimed “Never! Do you know what he did to me?” The child then asked, “then how will you expect me to forgive sister?”

Rude and hurtful as the child’s response to his mother, he was simply mimicking what he observed – that bitterness and unforgiveness is a choice. Unconsciously or consciously, we choose to mete out unforgiveness as a form of ‘just punishment’ on the offender. Someone has sinned against me, they must pay, they must be punished.

Unfortunately, bitterness and unforgiveness is a punishment meted on others but becomes a poison to oneself.

iii) Bitterness and unforgiveness is fatal.

It clogs up your strength to live, it snuffs the life out of your soul, it drains you emotionally, and it brings your mental fitness to illness. Bitterness and unforgiveness, are weeds that choke up the whole physical, intellectual, emotional, spiritual systems. However, we, knowingly or unknowingly, nurture and fertilize these weeds. In putting our time and energy to choose bitterness over forgiveness, we feed these weeds which ends up choking us. In extreme cases, bitterness and unforgiveness literally end up fatal, with loss of life. “Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death. - James 1:15”

Who then, do you have a grudge against?

Who can’t you forgive?

Forgiveness is the radical message that Jesus preached. His message jarred against the prevailing worldview then, as now. Vengefulness is the order of the day. But Jesus modelled to the end and even his lifewas poured out to show the impact forgiveness has on the world.

The only response to bitterness is to obey this very message Jesus died for. Forgive. In my journey of forgiving, here are some observations and lessons to aid us in our forgiving:

A) Forgiveness is not difficult, it's impossible.

In my whole life of bitterness, I heard countless sermons, read books, attended camps and conferences, have been gently or firmly told to release forgiveness. I couldn’t and didn't want to. Not that it was less awful for me, but I simply couldn't imagine where forgiveness was the order of the day. There were feeble attempts over the years, and it would last 5 hours then come back with a vengeance.

Forgiveness is not difficult, it's impossible.

And it required supernatural means to enable a supernatural outcome. If you find yourself butter and unable to forgive, humble yourself under His mighty hand… And cast your worries to Him for He cares for you (1Pet5:6-7). Remember that unforgiveness is a sin and a baggage that only the Holy Spirit in you can enable. Rely on Him while surrendering your inability to be forgiving, daily.

B) Forgiveness is easier in a safe, healing-friendly environment.

Diane Langberg wrote in her book ‘Suffering and the Heart of God: How Trauma Destroys and Christ Restores’ that, from her years of clinical psychology and therapy, she was consulted with a question on how a woman living with her relentlessly violent husband, can't seem to get over the trauma of his abuse. She wrote,”You cannot ‘get over’ something still happening.” Giving the example of going through a severe bout of flu, with high fever, chills, sniffling nose, you will do all you can to prevent it getting worse, fighting it, enduring it, protecting yourself, awaiting the symptoms to pass so that you begin the recovery work and regain strength. So it is when your bitterness stems from a traumatic, abusive, violating way and still ongoing.

If the sin done against you is as such, consider tweaking your lifestyle so that you have the safety and stability to give forgiveness away. It may include living separately, or other action that enhances your safety. In that safe space when it is no longer ongoing, it will be easier to begin the forgiving process.

C) Forgiveness is separate from boundary-enforcement.

Likewise, there are consequences when mistakes are done. A person who repeatedly said hurtful words can expect that those he offended will withdraw their friendship for a time. Someone who is perpetually making use of his friends for personal gain, must expect that fewer friends will want to interact with him if they deem that he drains energy or time from them. Similarly, in the right order of things, there are times when we must heal and also allow the natural consequences to be doled out, for a season. As a father disciplines his children, certain times there are consequences to a person’s actions. And forgive simultaneously.

What then, if my bitterness stems from someone who has harmed me or committed a crime in the process? Forgive, you must. But if a crime has been committed, you can also call the police or the appropriate authority in your country or locality. Do remember not to do it out of vengeance or revenge-seeking. Consequences is an effect when boundaries have been crossed and trampled over. Yes you can forgive and call the police.

D) Forgiveness is a day by day choice.

Aren’t there times we attempt to forgive, but when some memory or trigger jolts us, we feel the wounds all over again? Forgiveness is a constant, conscious, daily choice. Each time we are tempted to withhold forgiveness and choose bitterness, surrender again and let His Spirit in you enable and empower you again to forgive. Lord help us daily!

E) Forgiveness is best done in a community.

The sin of unforgiveness and bitterness, like all sin, takes root deeply and festers when we are isolated. Plug yourself in to community, let your trusted leaders know you are struggling and dealing with this sin, receive Christ’s forgiveness again and day by day, walk in Christ praying for first, the desire to forgive, then, the empowering to forgive, and then the action to forgive. Break bitterness as soon as you can! “Do not let the sun go down in your anger (Eph 4:26)”.

F) Forgiven people forgive .

The greatest way, and I fact, the only way is to believe God, that through Christ we take on the identity of “forgiven” and by Him, we live out that identity. Indeed, if we do not truly believe this truth, how are we to forgive, it being an impossible task by our own strength except, thru the Holy Spirit guiding in us, the life of Christ living through us and the Heavenly Father’s love. So the way to forgive is to experience the forgiveness of God. A saying is common in the social work/ counselling that hurt people hurt people. Why don’t we start believing that forgiven people forgive.

LAt the end of the day, bitterness and unforgiveness lead to a lesser, snuffed-life and immense pain. While a choice, we must remember the cross. Where the Lord chose to pay the ultimate price, his life, as a choice forgiving us all.

The following shows where inspiration for this article is from. Encourage you to read them as they are fantastic for you own journey to forgiveness

· http://www.desiringgod.org/messages/battling-the-unbelief-of-bitterness Battling the unbelief of bitterness by John Piper

· http://markdriscoll.org/sermons/i-am-forgiven/ I Am Forgiven by Mark Driscoll

· ‘Suffering and the Heart of God: How Trauma Destroys and Christ Restores’ by Diane langbud

Christianity and Power - We don't do well when we are in power.

2016-09-21T17:36:00.001+08:00

Some dream of a Christian Society in their society. Where Christian ethos, values and work style runs the predominant style of the people.

It has been done has it not?

In Europe, now "Churches are being de-consecrated as bingo halls" (Lee Kuan Yew, 1990, Change and Continuity Talk at NUS https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YEcIsRo-m0A ).

Typing this as I hear that video. Lee Kuan Yew in that talk, describe a resurgent religiousity (which was barely in its infancy in 1990, and now full blown). How a resurgent group of religious people, whether "Charismatic Christians" or Muslims dream of their society to be ruled by their religion.

Christians too, dream so.

Europe was historically done so. But in the values of the kingdom, we do worse when we are in power. Our King was almost forced to be ushered to be a forceful Messiah when He fed the 5000. But He was distressed and went to His Father.

Centruries later, when martyrdom was a norm of being Christian, the emperor Constatine was converted. It was a humbling time. However, when the values of the kingdom, mixes with the politics of power, the people over centruries will not see the True Kingdom, but live and see that they are simply being ruled by the ruling class. And since Christianity of that day was the ruling class, people simply lived without meeting Christ and having His Spirit transform them.

John 15 & 16, Jesus says that people will definitely persecute the christians, for if they went after the leader, they will go after the followers.

So some ramblings yet to be fully developed in my increasingly phone-addicted, youtube listening, immensely distracted, unproductive mind. That we christians function best when we are weakest.

The Bible Miniseries (2013) by Roma Downey, Mark Burnett

2016-09-15T12:16:00.003+08:00

One of my all-time Favourite bible summaries, in dramatic form.

※ Creator: Roma Downey, Mark Burnett
※ Produced by: Roma Downey, Mark Burnett, Richard Bedser, Dirk Hoogstra, Julian P. Hobbs
※ Directed by: Crispin Reece
※ Written by: Richard Bedser, Alexander Marengo, Colin Swash, Nic Young
※ Based on: The Bible
※ Narrated by: Keith David
※ Production company: Lightworkers Media
※ Country: United States
※ Language: English
※ Original channel: History
※ Original run: March 3, 2013 - March 31, 2013
※ Running time: 440 minutes
※ No. of episodes: 10

Cast
Diogo Morgado as Jesus Christ (5 episodes)
Darwin Shaw as Peter (5 episodes)
Paul Brightwell as Malchus (4 episodes)
Roma Downey as Mother Mary (4 episodes)
Greg Hicks as Pontius Pilate (4 episodes)
Sebastian Knapp as John (4 episodes)
Amber Rose Revah as Mary Magdalene (4 episodes)
Adrian Schiller as Caiaphas (4 episodes)
Andrew Brooke as Antonius (3 episodes)
Louise Delamere as Claudia (3 episodes)
Matthew Gravelle as Thomas (3 episodes)
Simon Kunz as Nicodemus (3 episodes)
Joe Wredden as Judas (3 episodes)
Fraser Ayres as Barabbas (2 episodes)
Paul Marc Davis as Simon (2 episodes)
Paul Freeman as Samuel (2 episodes)
Will Houston as Moses (2 episodes)
Melia Kreiling as Bathsheba (2 episodes)
Dhaffer L'Abidine as Uriah (2 episodes)
Francis Magee as Saul (2 episodes)
Con O'Neill as Paul the Apostle (1 episode)
Leila Mimmack as Young Mary (2 episodes)
Stephanie Leonidas as Rahab (1 episode)
Mohamen Mehdi Ouazanni as Satan (2 episodes)
Gary Oliver as Abraham (2 episodes)
Andrew Scarborough as Joshua (2 episodes)
Clive Wood as Nathan (2 episodes)
Hara Yannas as Michal (2 episodes)
Jassa Ahluwalia as Young David (1 episode)
Nonso Anozie as Samson (1 episode)
Jake Canuso as Daniel (1 episode)
Peter Guinness as King Nebuchadnezzar (1 episode)
Langley Kirkwood as Old David (1 episode)
Paul Knops as Adam (1 episode)
Darcie Lincoln as Eve (1 episode)
Hugo Rossi as Isaac (1 episode)
Conan Stevens as Goliath (1 episode)
Kierston Wareing as Delilah (1 episode)

Credits to: https://gloria.tv/user/nr1qjHp2x6FaHVwFVi1EaEQdq/videos/ Easter Lamb for uploading

PG § The Bible 2013 Miniseries § Episode 1: In the Beginning - Noah, Abraham thru Jacob, Israel begins
Noah tells of the Creation story and Fall while aboard the ark; Abrahamic covenant; the Battle of the Vale of Siddim; Hagar and Ismael; birth of Isaac; Abraham is tested; Sodom and Gomorrah; Moses learns of his roots, kills a soldier, and flees Egypt

PG § The Bible 2013 Miniseries § Episode 2: The Exodus - Pharaoh, Moses, Red Sea and Ten Commandments
God speaks to Moses through the burning bush; Moses returns to Egypt; ten Plagues of Egypt; Moses leads the Israelites in The Exodus; Moses parts the Red Sea; Moses receives the Ten Commandments at Mt. Sinai; Joshua becomes the leader of the Israelites; the Israelites camp outside of Jericho; Joshua sends spies into Jericho.

PG § The Bible 2013 Miniseries § Episode 3: The Homeland - Joshua, Samson, Judges, David & Goliath
Joshua invades and conquers Jericho; Delilah betrays Samson, a hero of the Israelites who battled against Philistines.

PG § The Bible 2013 Miniseries § Episode 4: The Kingdom - David, Saul, Solomon
Samuel anoints Saul as king, a move that could throw the nation into civil war; Saul is consumed with jealousy over the crown when David defeats Goliath; King David ushers a golden age for Israel, but is soon seduced by power and lust for Bathsheba; God forgives David, and Solomon builds God's temple in Jerusalem.

PG § The Bible 2013 Miniseries § Episode 5: The Survival - Zedekiah, Nebuchadnezzar, Daniel, Jews return to Jerusalem
Zedekiah, Nebuchadnezzar, the Jews are enslaved in Babylon; Daniel is thrown into the lions’ den, but when his faith endures and God spares him, the Jews are allowed to return to Jerusalem.

PG § The Bible 2013 Miniseries § Episode 6: The Hope - Roman, birth of Christ, John the Baptist, Jesus and Peter
During the time of Roman occupation, the Angel Gabriel tells Mary she will bear a child; Joseph takes Mary to Bethlehem for the census, where Jesus is born; the Holy family escapes Herod’s order to kill Bethlehem’s male babies; Judea comes under the ruthless rule of Pilate; John baptizes Jesus, who is now ready to take on his mission – and his revolution; Jesus and Peter meet.

PG § The Bible 2013 Miniseries § Episode 7: The Mission - Pharisees, Jesus, miracles, Disciples
Jesus feeds the crowds in Galilee and brings a dead man, Lazarus, back to life; Jesus enters Jerusalem riding on a donkey – a declaration that he is the Messiah; Jesus turns on the money-changers in the Temple.

PG § The Bible 2013 Miniseries § Episode 8: The Betrayal - Last supper, Judas, Peter's Denial
Caiphas coaxes Judas into betraying Jesus; Jesus throws the disciples into turmoil at the Last Supper; Jesus is arrested and condemned to death as the disciples scatter.

PG § The Bible 2013 Miniseries § Episode 9: The Passion - Nicodemus, Caiaphas, Pilate, Crucifixion, Resurrection
The crucifixion and the Resurrection of Jesus through Ascension, Pentecost and Revelation. During this last episode, Peter denies Jesus and Judas hangs himself; the crowd clamors for Jesus’s death; Jesus is crucified, but when Mary Magdalene goes to his tomb, a figure walks towards her - he is back; Jesus commissions the disciples to “go and preach to all creation,” but their godly mission meets with hatred and even death.

PG § The Bible 2013 Miniseries § Episode 10: The Courage - Jesus returns, Holy Spirit comes, Disciples die, John survives death, exiled to Patmos, Revelation
Paul has a vision and experiences a miraculous change of faith on a journey to Damascus; Martyrdom of the Disciples, John's survival and exile to Patmos, John receives a revelation - Jesus is coming back, and all who keep the faith will be rewarded.

The Blessing of Weakness - Why Never Succeeding is Actually Good –

2016-08-12T17:20:00.002+08:00

(The Edited condensed version is found here: http://ymi.today/2016/08/4-benefits-of-being-weak/)

Success is the global iron-bowl of society, especially in this region, especially in our little independent city. It brought us survival, comfort, brought us a good standing internationally. Competition has always been needed in macro-economies historically.

But the reason the social services exists (and thus I have a job), because you and I know while we make success our core life modus operandi, there exists many who may never do so because of mental & physical illness, disability, environment, systemic poverty, trauma, abuse etc. etc.

This writer never really aced his academics, never really had promotions, never won awards. There may be a plethora of reasons, some of us too never succeeded. Chronic trauma? Excuses to not try? Being told its wrong to succeed? Refusing to believe that you can succeed? Plain ol’ laziness? In short: I never really been on the end of succeeding spectrum, never had the need, nor want to prove myself, never wanted to be the very best that no one ever was. Maybe it was the laisser-faire way I was brought up, hence never had the need to prove and compete. (Of course it presents a whole hosts of problems in adulthood.)

Here have been some lessons that I learnt over the years of being at a weak place.

Never Succeeding is actually good because when good roles happens to you, it is evidently God’s grace unwarranted on you, and it is a stewardship to be held in sacred trust.

The first two kings of Israel, King Saul and King David, did not seek elections, boost their portfolios, or gave enticing speeches to prove that they have the mettle to be king. But the Lord chose, and anointed them thru Samuel, the prophet.

(See 1Sam chapters 9, 15, 16, 23-24, 31)

Saul began to believe it was his own charisma, his six-pack hot physique, and fantastic battle skills that made him king, and he embraced the lie. The lie also embraced him, till his already-insecure soul walked deep into the fiery abyss and entered darkness. His murderous insecurity resulted in his own death.

David was anointed king decades before he even became king, during Saul’s reign. A childhood in the fields as a shepherd, his dad even almost forgot he existed. Or if he did remember, dismissed him to be of any worth. Like a typical Asian, Jesse (David’s dad) was overjoyed that his family was chosen to produce the next king and of course, displayed his alpha-male sons. Strong, muscular, I imagine they also probably aced their exams, were probably prom kings, and are serving as elite commanders in Saul’s army. “Of course God will choose my sons”, beamed Jesse’s subconscious, “they are the best. I raised them for such a day indeed”.

Even Samuel wanted these guys and exclaimed “Here he is! God’s anointed! ( 1 Sam16:6 MSG) but “the LORD sees not as man sees – man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart” (1Sam16:7ESV). The Lord then chose the youngest, David, to be king.

David did succeed in his time as King. And exceedingly so! But it was from the knowledge that God chose, God allowed his success, and that David was to hold his role (successful as it is), in a sacred stewardship.

- The Blessing of Weakness is knowing you utterly do not deserve it, knowing the Lord gives you this opportunity, to be a part of his great plan and to be his co-ministers and co-shepherds.

Never Succeeding is actually good because in the depths of weakness, you realise, the Lord never left you.

Throughout David’s reign, it wasn’t all perfect though. He did mess up several times. Often, by swimming in his fame, and indulging his ego by self-crediting his success.

But throughout, King David was enabled by God to repent; and repent often, did David choose. In his psalms, it was in the anguish, the broken-ness, being flattened by failure, betrayals, pride that David was once again at the place where he knows, again and again, the LORD is his Shepherd, he lacks no good thing. It was in the most extreme circumstances of failure, abuse, loss, betrayal that some of David’s most beautiful psalms were written, all prophetic, about a future Saviour who fully understood what being weak meant. (See Psalms 22)

The Lord then chose him again, for another much more significant role. That he was to be a forebear and foreshadow of that coming Messiah. The One who would be that Grand Grand Blessing that was God’s message since the beginning. Simply because the Lord chose.

- The Blessing of Weakness is knowing that your weakness will never be wasted, but will in fact be used as a blessing to many.

Never succeeding is actually good because you are confronted with the fact that you are really really undeserving.

Matthew may have grown up a street kid. Maybe his family was nominal, just trying to eke a practical living. Maybe all his growing up years was simply to try and survive and live in this cut-throat, over-competitive world. Maybe he worked all kinds of jobs, gained some practical lifeskills, and found a job with his brutal colonial masters. No one liked them, they were once a free nation.

They remembered the golden ages of their nation when a certain King David reigned. “Stuff of legends”, Matthew pushed the thought away.

He was hated by his countrymen and often derided, “lackey dog” of the Romans, among many, much more rude names. Doesn’t help that he and his co-workers were adding their own “GST” and ripping his countrymen off.

Maybe his family was distant, maybe he was just on his own. He had done harsh things in this harsh world. He has to.

He wasn’t part of the elite, ruling, religious segment of society. He never will be.

He is a nominal person, who rips people off their hard-earned money on a daily basis. Of course people hated him. He, too hated himself. Maybe, nightly he would go home or to the temple and cry his heart out. He knew his ethics was way off. Maybe he was taught he can never be pure, be good and obey the law and be close to God and will probably die away from God in Sheol. That was life, as I imagined for Matthew. Then…

“Later, as Jesus left the town, he saw a tax collector named Levi (aka Matthew) sitting at his tax collector’s booth. “Follow me and be my disciple,” Jesus said to him. So Levi got up, left everything, and followed him.

Later, Levi held a banquet in his home with Jesus as the guest of honor. Many of Levi’s fellow tax collectors and other guests also ate with them. But the Pharisees and their teachers of religious law complained bitterly to Jesus’ disciples, “Why do you eat and drink with such scum?”

Jesus answered them, “Healthy people don’t need a doctor—sick people do. I have come to call not those who think they are righteous, but those who know they are sinners and need to repent.” (Luke 5:27-32 NLT)

It is not those who are healthy but those who are sick. Those who know they need saving, that nothing they can do on their own merit can bring them to God. It is here, in this state of weakness, we must come to again and again, where we can say like King David did, “You are my help and deliverer; o LORD, do not delay! (Psalms 70:5)”

Matthew followed Jesus in those three years. An experience which changed his life forever. He knew now there was a message of Salvation, of Daddy God’s love, that there was no sin to great for God to forgive, and no life too messed up, too abused that God cannot transform and work with. The Lord chose Matthew. The Lord transformed Matthew. And being one of the 12 apostles, Matthew went to places far and wide. Eventually being martyred in Ethiopia. (include this link http://kotisatama.net/files/kotisatama/Tekstit_ja_kirjat/foxe.pdf).

- The blessing of weakness is knowing the strength of God manifest daily in our weak lives and allows us to rely on Him moment by moment, so he can transform us to the image of His Son.

Our salvation is a gift. Not something we can earn or perform well for. Not something we worked for, but “He predestined us for adoption as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will (Eph1:5ESV)”. Living daily in our weakness, we allow Christ to be manifest in us. His Spirit enables us to live that life conformed to the image of His Son (Rom 8:29), flowing from the Love of the Father. So friends, be weak. And rely.

Why we are, where we are. from Ngiam tong dow

2014-02-19T02:12:00.002+08:00

http://www.fas.nus.edu.sg/ecs/department/EducationandGrowth.pdf
for those who have the patience to read.

It explains well, why things are in SG from the point of view of one of those who made it happen at the beginning, incl things like a lack of culture esp when dialect, the point of communication and transfer of values was wiped out, hence cutting away a sense of continuity from time-driven values.
Pioneers and leaders who had battles and started things really see things differently from those who come later and just maintain it.

*essay mode,sorry*

It's always that much harder

2013-11-28T00:45:00.001+08:00

After gossiping... Ohh ok. Oops... Having "honest discussions" about someone everyone is annoyed with, it's hard to minister and love that person.

Which is more important? Having "honest discussions" or loving that person with that slight, tiny chance of him growing?

Camp breakthrough

2013-10-29T00:20:00.001+08:00

Icare in Thailand

18-27oct2013

Camp 19-21oct2013

As mark says

3 days camp 9 days ministry

http://youtu.be/29OLaZmiXkU

If only you knew how much you still mean to me

2013-10-26T00:24:00.001+08:00

I still look at you as if my heart never was broken.

Lord help me to see u as my only God. I shall have no other gods.

(iCare and Romyen ministry in Thailand. And she is part of the team)

2013-09-30T22:55:00.000+08:00

I want to submit this for 11-14 year olds for their bulletien.

Dear WEBs,

Today the passage that we will hear later on is a grim, sombre message.

After God spoke directly to them the Ten Commandments, the people of Israel went and worshipped a gold baby cow. I can imagine most of us will laugh at them and scoff at how foolish they are to make a golden baby cow. I mean, don't they know? didn't they see the God who rescued them from Egypt, and gave them manna and quail to eat, and they heard God directly, and still they made a golden calf?

Well, don't laugh. If we had been there, we would probably be one of those who joined in.

You see, although God has set them free, they were not yet living free. Idolatry starts inside the heart before it appears on the hands. God is the perfect Father, and because he loves His children, He has set the 10 Commandments to protect them.

An idol is simply something and/or someone who takes over God’s supreme place as centre of your life. It could be your friend’s admiration, the new golden iPhone, your drive to maintain your number 1 position in school, or even One Direction.

Jesus came to not only set you free, but to put in you a new nature, so you can live free. If you have not believed that Jesus took your place as an idolater on the cross, repent and believe and idolise no more. If you already have Jesus in your heart, daily reveive his grace and allow Him to make you more like Him.

(maybe i should, although its 100 words more than the word limit)

God has always been so good when looking for jobs

2013-09-28T10:46:00.001+08:00

Two job offers in a day. From two brothers. And I'm not even looking. #grace

2013-09-27T20:32:00.001+08:00

Don't need to live life proving someone's wrong. No need to prove I'm right either. But to simply let Jesus be right.

In the faith OF the Son of God

2013-09-24T02:36:00.001+08:00

The notification said, YLT is available for download.

And I immediately remember 2 years ago in early 2011, when Muntoh excitedly gathered us for he learnt one more new thing.  At Westmall coffee bean, he taught us the literal Greek (which was all Greek to us..) and he showed us the YLT which accurately translated this verse.

Notice “… faith OF the Son of God….”.

That evening was a liberating bible study.

#youversion #UMT

Productive procrastination

2013-09-16T23:26:00.001+08:00

Well... it seems like Blogger does have more traffic to my content.

If only there were more easy ways to post on blogger. It is becoming a hassle. And by hassle i mean not in your face like the rest of the apps on my iphone.

I actually have forgotten people who were not on my facebook feed. It is as if.. if a person is not on facebook, he/she ceases to exist.

That is sad.

My 24 hours of attempting my TMA is still at 0%.

and i think.. i should learn the art of productive procrastination.

Rather, than whiling away the time, do things in 1 hour intervals, then switch to another task for half hour and back for another 1 hour. Interval Training style as Gabe puts it.

As i type my blog. after... 2 years? I feel that i may want to get serious about writing. Creating content seems to be what i like. Shall work on my strengths and maybe earn a living one day.

Right now as a social work associate, student, youth leader, iCare ministry exco team... i do like the fact that there's many things on my plate.

Yet at the same time, my old habits of time wasting are worse than ever.

That's authenticity for you. If you, my grandchild is reading this... your grandpa was a weak fella in his 20s.

Lord, take over.

Working at home is possible. I chionged with jana via Google Docs that day working for our Alpha Kidz camp. but why is it that when im on my own.. things just do not get... well.

alright 20 mins to deadline. 0%. and one more empty promise to myself and another failure.

Ps Mark Driscoll says this is slavery. What is my slave master? Me?

Lord forgive me. My name means victory. In You only there is victory. Yet i want to taste that daily.....

Hillsong Live - Christ Is Enough (Live Acoustic)

2013-08-27T07:01:00.001+08:00

have been blogging almost exclusively at www.howcanibebornagain.tumblr.com , but since youtube has this new share feature... why not...

i love this song, cuz i love Jesus.

choose this day will you listen and obey?

2012-02-18T17:20:00.000+08:00

FAITH IS NEEDED. When He takes something good, and promises

"for I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me and I will hear you. You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you, declares the Lord, and I will restore your fortunes and gather you from all the nations and all the places where I have driven you, declares the LORD, and I will bring you back to the place from which i sent you into exile."

Lord, am i in exile?
I have no choice but to let go!

It is not something that i want.
it never was in my plan.

Selfish i may have been on occasions, self serving have i lapsed.
but my commitment has always been to it.

Maybe too much, till it became idolatry.

I don't want to bury it.
I don't want to accept the fact that i need to give my life.
and that was my life.

Whoever loses his life for my sake will gain it, whoever gains his life will lose it, says my Lord.

It's His promise.

Like in Heb 6, Abraham walked because God promised.
He lived such dynamic life, only because GOD PROMISED.

people recognised him as a man of God and gave him what he wanted.

Lord i want that kind of life.

I don't to give up,
But i have to.

Sometimes before we come to the joyful place of 'i Get to', we have to go thru the 'i have to', ' i got to.'
And now i have to.
As of now, 'i have to' is the impetus.

a wise man, weilii, once said, "change will come when the pain of not changing exceeds the pain of change itself."

I have to.

It was 4 joyous years.
but i have to.
i don't want this to happen.
but i have to.

I have to buck up, as Uncle David chided me countless times in his honed, refined communication skills.

I am blessed.

I am helped.

No longer helpless i am, but helped i am.

"in Him my heart trusts, and i am helped." ~ps 28:7

Thank You for a good, nurturing workplace.
I need that before i go on to the real performance world.
At least now i am helped.

At level -10, i have alot to do when i should be at level 24.
while my friends are at level 24, and some reaching their destiny already at level 90, i at level -10, have LOTS, LOTS to do!

Fuji told us,
the glory of the LORD shines on us like the sun. Our head is still receiving the sunshine.
but because the sun shines, a shadow will be casted.

we can walk backwards away from the sun, and stare at the shadow.
The shadow will then overwhelm, and the world will be bleak, but only in our eyes.
Because it overwhelms us, we can start exalting it, and worshipping it.
The sun is STILL shining, but we are exalting the shadow.
Because our eyes are fixed on the shadow.

or we can choose to bask and enjoy the sun.
we don't deny that there is a shadow, but we live free from exalting the shadow. cuz we are meant to enjoy the sun.

That's his analogy for Once saved always saved.

how often do we focus on the shadow, when the sun is greater and surrounds us like everywhere?
all we see is the shadow, all we see is the blackness of the shadow, and with it, deceive ourselves that there is no light, all is black, i am a sinner, a sinner, a sinner, a sinner, a lousy sinner, a lousy sinner.
by basking in the sun, we don't deny our sinfulness, but we are declaring, that it is better to walk in the light. 1john 1:5

"Everybody Get Walkin'
By Jana Alayra.

Everybody get walkin'
Walkin' in the light,

in every little space, and every little minute of our lives,
Everybody get Livin'
Livin' more like Him,
to let the whole world know
HE HAS FORGIVEN ALL OUR SIN!

5, 4, 3, 2, 1!

Choose this day, will you listen and obey
Choose what''s right, Get walkin' in the light
Choose this day will you listen and obey,
Choose what's right, Get walkin' in the light,
JESUS IS THE LIGHT!"

Such depth in a children song.
Such poignancy in a children dance song.

Lord,
i love You more than that.
help me Lord.
It is hard to sing I surrender All, because i loved that so much.
I still want that back, but Lord, help me!

choose this day, will you listen and obey?

just. a. rant.

2012-01-15T19:10:00.000+08:00

Maybe it's the lack of purpose.
maybe it's sin?

Why the chaos? Why the making of chaos as if it is my best friend.

Living with it all my life, does that mean that it is what it is meant to be?
If Chaos is normal, then is normal abnormal?

in the chaos, in the confusion. Uncle Muntoh told me two things i can do.
Focus on the sin, the chaos, the addictions, or focus on Christ.
Both are choices. Both are equally real. Both with pain still very much present.
but one with Hope.

In our Chaos, in our sinfulness, in our addictions, what do we, i see?

Am i a sinner? or am i forgiven?
I choose to see which one I am, and live that way.

Nicodemus of the bible had so much knowledge it jammed his actions.
in that whole episode in John 3,
Jesus mentions the word 'believe' 7x. Compare this to the next chapter in John 4, with the Samaritan woman.. 'Believe' was mentioned once, while 'worship', 7x.

The Pharisee Nicodemus was a leader of the pharisees.
And he was told to believe.
Here was a man who wanted to believe, wanted to be with Jesus.
But wanted more knowledge, more information, to make a learned choice.
Being a learner all his life, he learnt, and learnt. and taught sometimes.
Led committees, led this led that.

And he needed to believe.

He didnt' dare leave what he was comfortable with, and only spoke up in soft way in John 7.
The only time he gathered the courage to do something that makes a difference for Jesus, is AFTER he died.

how long must we wait before we do something for Jesus?

Living, is believing. Believing is not what you say you believe, but what you do.

So check our actions. what have you been doing already???
That's what you already believe.

Don't bluff ourselves, that weu are Christian, a follower of God, an imitator of Christ.
we probably are self worshippers, sex worshippers, or music worshipppers or whatever.

Pharisee Nicodemus kept asking questions, to diffuse the limelight and the searching light of Christ from His own personal belief.

Until we are able to say what 'i' believe just seeing what we do, it will be the Great I worshipping you, god. so give me face and let me have what i think is what i feel is right. then i say god has the glory.

have i really believed?
have i been living what i believed?

if i believe that Jesus is the Son of God, do i live like Jesus has all authority?
if I believe that Jesus came to redeem, do i live like so?
if i believe that Jesus brings about transformation, whose first words in His ministry was 'repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is near', do i live like so?

If we all live like what we believe, we won't recognise ourselves.

Most often, we want to retain what we think is familiar, simply cuz thats who we think 'we are'.
or 'i grew up like that what'.

we usually grow up far from who we truly are.

In living like Jesus is true, we grow closer to who we are supposed to be.
We don't change to be some nicer, more level-up version of ourselves.

And in this loss of purpose, the stuff all come back.

the focus is all gone, the addictions rule, the chaos is normal again.

Maybe one day, with a real sense of purpose, with a real calling.I want this one day soon!
I will not be who i am now.
The so-called Nuacodemus as called by my army friends and... yes my socalled closest friends.
will not be nua anymore.

The reason why isolation happens to anyone is no one's fault but your own.
it's a consequence that you should bear, a real consequence of something, some law of the world, that was crossed.

And it's about time that we learn not to expect some kind soul to have 'compassion' on us and rescue us.

Pain is purifying.
We forget that we were punished when we were children, but the real times (amidst the not-rea timesl) we received proper discipline, we know that it caused us to be better.

In relieving someone of his discipline and consequence, is to not love him in the long run but to exhibit selfishness in quelling your own momentary emotional 'compassion' of ' i can't bear to see him suffer, so poor thing'.
This is true of children, no matter how old,
BGR,
and christian community amongst many other examples.

We have been so tolerant of each other's sin so often, we steer our churchy discussions away from our own sinfulness.
"its ok la. its ok to drink as long......."
"yea let's accept him, cuz Jesus told us to love, so we love and show that church is actually a nice smiley place" knowing he/she has been overtly living a antiGod lifestyle even in and out of church.
nothing against drinking. but it's just the most prevalent example i can think of.

and i don't really care about offending anyone now.

in my own life, if we were to ask ourselves these same qns, we'll probably change our own thoughts to something more cheery like reading our FB newsfeed.

and it is said that counsellors should go for at least 8 sessions of counselling. But most people who love helping others, forget they need help first. And because they do so much ministering, it will be harder to get ministered to, cuz they actually know what's going on!

Same like pharisee Nicodemus.
he led, he taught, but no one saw his heart.

questions was used as a defence, to throw back to the questioner cuz he didn't want sin to be made obvious.

There's an old song called, 'If you don't love Jesus, don't come to church'.
Church is a place for the redeemed, and those seeking salvation. It is a place where, we all are broken, and redeemed, and worshipping together. We know the dark pasts that we all had, but we all all use our brokenness, talents, in worship. As worship is the expression of being forgiven, and living that life of forgiven-ness. and choosing not to go back. if we falter, people warn u, love u, help u in your picking up, rescue u if necessary, and restore u back to community.

If after so long in church, we realised we don't love jesus.

Don't come to church.

i am a christian

2011-09-03T23:12:00.000+08:00

i am a christian.

i am a christian not because it is cool.
but because i saw the need to be forgiven.

I am a christian not because i can,
but because i can't.

i am a christian not because it is an easier way to go to heaven,
but because i was chosen.

i am a christian not because i deserve to go
but because, without Christ i am the worst and hardest sinner.

i am a christian not because i am holy moley
but because i am depraved by nature.

i am a christian not because i have a good moral compass
but because i don't even have one to begin with.

i am a christian not because i was brought up a christian

but because there's something real when i communicate to God.

i am a christian. saying all these nice words.
but at the end, will i survive?

i am a christian, spouting doctrine,

but at the end, does what i say matter?

i am a christian, doing bible study.
but at the end, where did the knowledge all go?

i am a christian, thinking i am always right.
but at the end, i'll be with a hoarde of others who do not qualify to enter the kingdom of heaven.

i am a christian, repenting each time i do something so depraved.

but at the end, it earns no respect from the non-religious who have done much more righteous acts.

i am a christian, thinking i have the answer.

but at the end, i realise that so does everyone else.

i am a christian, attending christian stuff all my life.

but at the end, i end up with a narrow view and vanished friend pool.

i am a christian, thinking everyone else is proud and needs to be 'taught' and 'mentored'.

but at the end, it is i who needs to be taught and humbled.

i am a christian, thinking that putting Jesus in my vocab would impress,

but at the end, there is no Jesus in my actions.

i am a christian, relishing the thought that i am working in a christian org with a nice noble discipline of study.
but it is always the non-religious who show me what it really meant to be compassionate.

i am a christian, proclaiming Jesus, but people can't see Jesus in my heart.

Lord help us to make a difference in our

doing video editing...

2011-07-16T02:42:00.000+08:00

is really tiring. i admire those who do this as a profession!

Thank God for the blessing of a mac. it really does reduce much more headaches compared to a windows machine.

But so what if there's a good machine?

the same old sin occurs, the same old procrastinating spirit.

And i lost my whole nite of sleep.

best thing is that now at 6:44am, since doing it from 11pm, it's only half done.

ArGH!

is it possible to ever be in sync and chiong efficiently? school is starting! and i doubt i will be able to handle it.

But since i am inside, He will enable me to handle it. and i better handle it well as it's stewardship.

Lord, am i still a small boy?

anyways, what is it about peer leadership that fails? Is it the fact that everyone is too familiar with each other and can't really respect the authority of a leader as everyone knows his flaws too much too many?

Why is it that though a leader has been selected, in effect someone else takes over? is it cuz he abdicated?

or is it just the fact that he CMI?

how to move on forward, when there's such a dearth of personal relationship and the stagnating conversations.

Even when a brother tells me that though we can lead as team, we all have different ideas. Can't there be one? Can't there be a decision maker? Must everything be democratic?

If only kindreds abounded more.

Lest you only be labelled weirdo.

Prayer unites our hearts to Him. When we are in Him, our hearts will be from Him, and together, we'll be for Him as one.

May we see that happening soon!

May we see lives transforms in community!

May the relationships be real and may our purpose be Yours.

This i ask in Jesus Name.

amen amen amen!

a brother says...

2011-06-14T20:49:00.000+08:00

don't bother packing up your bag. empty it.

so true of life.

we pack up our disorderliness and try to make messy things look okay.

but the point is that mess is not cuz they look untidy, but because there is just too many things.

so empty your life-bag.

things will definitely not be messy.

and things will be much clearer.

maybe thats why i am seldom clear.

the place im in externally and within is just messy.

time to empty.

two days to go to thailand trip

just came back from SU trek with uncle david leong as my partner.

LORD, create in me a pure heart. You only is my rock and my salvation. my fortress; i shall not be greatly shaken ps 62.2

i dont wish to compromise the whole trip with my own inconsistencies.

i love singapore

2011-04-23T22:21:00.000+08:00

and this is the only political candidate i can actually relate, and also being in the same generation (i'm 23).

i love singapore.

i love this show.

2011-04-08T01:31:00.000+08:00

<a href="http://video.xin.msn.com/?mkt=en-sg&vid=df93bfac-6ad9-4e4f-9c93-b7bd6ed58724&from=en-sg&fg=dest" target="_new" title="Episode 5">Video: Episode 5</a>

"I will wait for you" by Official P4CM Poet JANETTE...IKZ

2011-04-08T01:20:00.000+08:00