Who said being random was bad?

Vegetarian 4 hour body canned soup

2011-05-16T05:53:00.001-07:00

It is not easy being a vegetarian on the 4 hour body diet. It seems there are only so many recipes that combine vegetables, legumes, and vegetarian protein. I am happy to share my vegetarian recipes and discoveries with other vegetarians on the 4 hour body diet. If you find something please share it with me!

I have found the best vegan canned soup that fits in with the 4 hour body diet. It is Amy's organic Golden Lentil (Indian Dal) soup and it is delicious. The ingredients are; Filtered water, organic yellow split peas, organic red lentils, organic carrots, organic tomato puree, organic extra virgin olive oil, shallots, organic garlic, organic ginger, sea salt, spices, organic turmeric, and organic black pepper.

I have seen this soup anywhere from $2.50 - $3.50 per can. Here is a link to Amy's website with information about this soup. http://www.amys.com/products/product-detail/soups/000593

My first week on the 4 Hour Body diet

2011-05-07T10:57:00.000-07:00

I am a chubby vegetarian. I gained a lot of weight when I was pregnant with my son. After he was born, I never did take that weight off. In fact, I just kept adding weight! I have tried everything so when I heard that people I knew were losing weight on the 4 hour body diet, I bought the book. This is not a paid post, this is my own personal experiment.

After the first week I am down 5.5 pounds and 5.25 inches. I will keep everyone updated on my progress as a way to share my experience as well as keep myself accountable.

If you would like to read more about this crazy ass diet, check out the website at http://www.fourhourbody.com/.

As I go I will be sharing vegetarian recipes that are 4 hour body friendly. If you are a vegetarian trying this diet, be prepared to eat a lot of lentils!

Z is for Zanker

2011-04-30T11:11:00.000-07:00

A was going to be for Antoons, but the Z post worked out better for both me and my friend Anton Zanker. Anton Zanker is the creator of Antoons and the artist responsible for http://antoonsiscool.blogspot.com/.

Anton Zanker started Antoons in 2009 but he has been making art for as long as I have known him. Anton and I first met at a party my sister was throwing. I just had returned from spending a year at Art School in Tilburg, The Netherlands.

Here are some of my favorite Antoons from http://antoonsiscool.blogspot.com/. If you like them too, consider subscribing to the blog and 'liking' Antoons on Facebook. http://www.facebook.com/antoonsiscool

AS WITHIN, SO WITHOUT.

Image by Anton Zanker, http://antoonsiscool.blogspot.com/

FUN!!

Image by Anton Zanker, http://antoonsiscool.blogspot.com/

YOU CANNOT FORCE FAITH.

Image by Anton Zanker, http://antoonsiscool.blogspot.com/

S is for Sushi

2011-04-22T10:22:00.000-07:00

How could my S post not be about Sushi?! I am in love with vegetarian sushi. This is another joy in life that I owe to my wonderful husband.

I was hesitant when this cute guy asked me to join him for errands and sushi. I was / am a picky vegetarian. I never thought that I would ever like something like sushi. I did not even know there were sushi rolls that did not have fish in them. I said yes because he was cute, and my love for sushi and my husband began.

Since sushi is expensive, we usually save it for special occasions. A few hours after my son was born, and almost two days after I started my labor, my husband brought me sushi in the hospital. Some of the first pictures of our son involve chopsticks and take out boxes.

P is for Proud Mama

2011-04-19T11:09:00.001-07:00

I am one proud mama. My son's school did their fundraiser over the weekend and it was amazing. We did not have to pass around a catalog of junk and pressure coworkers to buy stuff. This year they held a song and dance performance. Not only did we raise money for the school, the children got to put on performances from African American Folk Songs, to Can't Touch This by MC Hammer. I loved it! I loved it so much that I turned into one of those crazy proud mamas.

I admit it. I screamed out for my son after one of his dances while he was leaving the stage. I never thought I would be one of those moms. Apparently, I am. I could not help but let out a loud woohoo followed by my son's name. Maybe I embarrassed him, but more than anything I was proud of him.

Are you a proud mama? What are some things you have done to show your kids how proud you are? :)

O is for Opossums

2011-04-18T18:13:00.000-07:00

If all goes well, soon I will be the owner of baby short tailed opossums! Short tailed opossums are not the standard North American opossum that digs through your trash. These creatures stay small and only grow to about the size of a mouse.

M is for Massasauga Rattlesnake

2011-04-15T08:30:00.000-07:00

The Massasauga Rattlesnake is one of the most beautiful animals I have seen. The eastern massasauga is a very shy snake and although there are small populations in Illinois and Wisconsin, I have never seen one in the wild.

These small rattlesnakes are protected because of their declining population. In addition to losing their natural environment, massasaugas have been hunted and killed because they are venomous. Killing venomous snakes just because they are venomous is a disgusting practice in my opinion.

I hope that we can learn to appreciate these beautiful creatures for the important role they play in our ecosystem.

K is for Kitsch

2011-04-13T13:40:00.000-07:00

Who doesn't love kitsch? Oh them? They just won't admit it, but they love kitsch!

I have a garden gnome hiding in my front garden.

My dinner plates are deliciously kitsch. It is actually a mystery as to where they came from. My husband moved them from 2C – the infamous apartment where everyone and both of their brothers have lived. Apparently they just showed up there one day.

These are some of the kitschy things I have. What about you?

I is for ICP!

2011-04-11T07:18:00.000-07:00

I is for Insane Clown Posse!

Enjoy my favorite, not safe for work, kids, or normal people songs. :)

Another Love Song - I could kill off some bears and dogs and shit just to make you a fur coat.

If I Was a Serial Killer - If I was a serial killer, I would sleep on broken glass and thumb tacks. And I would smoke mad crack.

This one is dedicated to my husband who is a dead body man by profession. :)
Dead Body Man - Dead bodies, dead bodies in the back of my van. All the little kiddies love the dead body man.

I couldn't forget Mr. Happy! - I know this don't make any sense to you but fuck you. This songs about me exclusively.

G is for Grammostola pulchra

2011-04-08T16:17:00.000-07:00

When our son was born my husband decided to get a pet that would grow up with our child. We are a little strange and did not get a dog or a cat. My husband picked out a Grammostola pulchra, also known as Brazilian Black tarantula.

Grammostola pulchras are slow growing and have a long life. Females can live up to twenty-five years. My husband thought this would be a great tarantula for our son because they are docile. I agreed because they are also beautiful. They grow to around 5 inches and are a silky black.

My son and his G. pulchra are now six years ago and both are doing great!

This is a picture of two adult Grammostola pulchras mating.

Bom chicky bow wow, Grammostola pulchra tarantulas mating.

F is for Forgive

2011-04-07T16:45:00.000-07:00

Earlier today I was reminded of a huge jerk. This jerk went out of their way to make my life just a little bit worse during a tough time. I was tempted to get upset again. I almost let myself feel the drop in my stomach, the tightness in my throat that I used to feel. Instead of feeling bad or angry, I forgave them.

It would be egocentric of me to think they would read this post. I sure have moved on, I can only assume that they have found someone else to bully. Just in case though, hey douche-bag.. I forgive you.

To everyone who has ever done me wrong, I wish you nothing but a happy life - far away from me!

E is for E-file and Excited!

2011-04-06T12:55:00.000-07:00

Today I did my taxes. My brain is mush so I was going to write a short E is for E-file blog post.

I opened my awesome random blog and found that I had won an award from Dierdra at A Storybook World.

I am excited to share that I have been awarded the Beautiful Mommy Writer Award!

So today is all about e-filing and being excited! Stay tuned for more meaningful and thought provoking posts now that I have my mind numbing work done. :)

B is for Babies!

2011-04-02T08:31:00.000-07:00

There is one B word that overpowers any other word that might try to squeak in, and that word is BABIES!

My biological clock has been screaming at me lately. It is constantly reminding me that I only have four years and six months to get another baby growing in my tummy. The sickness, the bed rest, and the pregnancy induced hypertension that I experienced with my first child somehow seem not so bad now. What is going on here? Well, this article from Time was pretty accurate.

Study: Does having kids make parents delusional?

For now I will just be happy that it is spring and soon there will be a bunch of baby animals. I will leave you with a picture of years past when we had baby box turtles.

Baby Box Turtles

A is for Animals!

2011-04-01T16:04:00.000-07:00

This is my first post in the April A to Z challenge. I decided to take a trip down memory lane and write about various animals I have had contact with over the years. The strangest creature I had met before I met my now husband, was probably a rabbit. I happened to fall in love with a biology major, and later married him. My husband has introduced me to an amazing world of animals. Here are a few of my favorites.

The following pictures are of black and white bird eater (Nhandu coloratovillosus) tarantulas mating. Yes, I am posting tarantula porn. You have been warned!

Since we are on the subject of bug porn, here is a picture of painted grasshoppers mating.

Lets get away from the boom chic-y bow wow for a second and take a look at another strange creature. This is a horse lubber grasshopper.

This is an article and picture of my lovely northern pine snake. I am sad to say that our city has an ordinance banning snakes so she had to go live with a friend.

I will leave you with a picture of my favorite animal of the moment, my sweet dog Ms. Kelsa Cutie.

Long Distance Mother

2011-01-03T16:57:00.000-08:00

If I was looking in on my life and not living it, I would be wondering what kind of mother could leave her child for a job. I might feel like the love I had for my son was in some way superior and there would be no way I would ever put work before my child.

As I have grown as a person and a mother, I have become less judgmental. I do not care if a happy baby has food on their clothes. I admit that there was a time when I did not see the joy of the child and only saw that stain. That was before I had my own happy little messy baby. I know I have a long way to go in the journey of motherhood but I feel confident that I am doing the best that I can.

So how can a mother leave her child for a job? I know that my son loves me and he knows that I love him. I have a husband who I love and trust. He is an awesome dad to our son. I want to provide for my son and right now the best way to do that is to work hard and do a great job at my current position. I see my son on the weekends and those days are the best days.

It is strange being a long distance mom though..

Thinking About Christmas Time

2010-09-17T10:40:00.001-07:00

It was bright and warm on a crisp autumn day.
The dog would not return the ball.
Our kitchen counter has multiple invitations to play.
For my son, not the dog I should say.
I can almost hear winter's call.

Tribute to My Dad's Storytelling

2010-09-16T07:29:00.000-07:00

This is a speech I am giving today to a private audience.

This is the story of when I learned the importance of telling children stories.

When I was a little girl growing up in a small town in southern Indiana my dad was a volunteer fireman. When he went out on a call he would usually return home with a story that included a fire prevention moral. Did you know that a plugged in toaster can create a kitchen fire? Never throw water on a grease fire. It is important to keep your chimney clean. We would hear stories about the most ridiculous things people did to start fires. To this day I never leave a candle burning when I am not around.

There were times my dad came home without a story and only with a lesson. Use two fingers on infants that need CPR. Never ride on a motorcycle without a helmet. Always wear your seat belt.

Fast forward to when I am grown and have my own small child. My husband and I were lucky enough to be able to commute together for awhile. Our son was in the backseat during our morning drive when we saw smoke rising off of the road. I looked to the side of the road and saw a flipped car.

My father's stories came flooding back and took over my actions. I told my husband to stop the car and call 911. People are sometimes in shock during a crisis situation so you should assign someone to call 911. Get their attention by calling their name or pointing to them. Make sure they have a phone and tell them to call 911 before leaving to help.

I left my husband and son in the car and ran up to the flipped Saturn. I could see one person inside so I called out to see if there were more people inside the car. The woman replied that she was the only person. With an artificial calmness I assessed the situation and saw that she was stuck but not in immediate danger. She was responsive but could go into shock. She started to panic.

Do not move the injured person unless there is a chance the car might catch fire or become unstable. Keep them talking. She told me her name was Brie and she worked for Waukegan schools. Brie wanted to climb out the window but I stopped her. I kept reassuring her that the fire department was on the way. I almost came out of my calm and disassociated demeanor when she pulled out her bloody cell phone and we both realized she was bleeding.

My dad's stories were inside of me. Once the fire department gets there, get out of their way and let them do their job. A fire person came up with the jaws of life and I let Brie know that I was going to leave and let them get her out of the car. Someone else started talking to Brie and I left.

When I returned to my car my son told me that I had missed all of the firetrucks. My legs started to shake and my voice cracked when I let him know that I had seen them. I told my son, “When you are helping someone that is injured and the fire department arrives, you get out of their way and let them do their job.”

Without my dad's stories I wonder if I would have frozen when I saw the car wreck. Would I have stopped to help if I didn't have his rescue lessons allowing me to run on auto-pilot? I cannot know for sure but one thing I do know is that storytelling is an essential part of parenting and I am going to be one of 'those parents' that bore their children with stories.

Free Printable Coloring Pages For Artistic Children and Adults

2010-08-02T08:06:00.000-07:00

This post was inspired by my son. I had drawn several of the common symbols I use in my artwork in line drawings. He asked if I had printed him some coloring pages. I told him that I had drawn these pictures and smiled with pride when he was impressed. He is too young for me to explain the meaning behind the symbols however he wanted to color, and add to my artwork. I have scanned these images in for other artistic children to enhance, color, or style.

If your child or you enjoy these free printable coloring pages I would love to see how they are used to create new pieces of art.

The first image is called No Protest. You will find stick figure protesters in a lot of my art. Sometimes these stick figures are holding signs that say no. They are never saying yes. Another symbol I use in my art are filmstrip boxes with various items or symbols in pictures. I have combined these two components into one image.

The second image is found in almost all of my artwork if you look close enough. It is called Bird and has had a guest appearance in my artwork for almost ten years now.

Please enjoy these free printable coloring pages for artistic children and adults!

Morbid Humor

2010-07-30T12:02:00.000-07:00

There is a good chance that I will kill myself someday. Do not misunderstand, I am not suicidal. I am spacey. We are talking, 'wash the toaster off in the sink while it is still plugged in' spacey. I am pretty good at catching myself but you never know. (=

If the day comes where I kill myself in a morbidly hilarious way, I want to make as many people laugh as possible! I want to make even the kindest person fight a smirk while reading my obituary.

Here are two obituaries you can use if I happen to end up in one of these situations someday. No need to thank me for writing my own obituary, it is my pleasure!

In an attempt to surprise her family and save squirrels, Loki Morgan was installing a chimney cover when she heard a noise coming from inside the chimney. Loki stuck her head down to make sure she wasn't trapping any animals inside and got herself stuck. Unfortunately no one noticed her legs sticking up from the top of the house until it was too late. Loki will be missed but her love for animals will never be forgotten.

Loki Morgan had recently gotten over her refusal to use the plunger when a toilet got clogged. Loki will be remembered for the effort she put into learning new things in death as in life. She put her heart into unclogging that toilet, so much so that she slipped on the splashed liquid and cracked her head open on the bathtub. We know that Loki is looking down from heaven and proud that she succeeded in unclogging that toilet.

LM (=

Shout Out to Tamara Waters

2010-07-26T06:49:00.000-07:00

Tamara L. Waters is a writer who I've been reading for a very long time now. She cracks me up, is super creative, and just an all around cool person. I would like to link to some of her articles on Associated Content that you should check out. This is a random collection of articles because I am all about random!

Read about when Tammy met, super cute in a scrubby sort of way, Travis Pastrana.

Have you heard about the big muddy monster of southern Illinois? Read about it here.

This is a great article for artists that use found items!

A must read poem for all women. Seriouslly, you MUST read it!

This is a very touching story about the daughter / dad relationship.

This is about something I am good at.. embarrassing your children!

Read more from Tamara L. Waters here.

Don't forget to visit http://tamaralwaters.com!

Free Grocery Store Tape Influences My Life

2010-06-23T15:52:00.000-07:00

Come back with me to a time long ago in a sticky place I like to call Southern Indiana. We had a grocery store in the town I grew up in. It was right next to the pizza place and the gas station. Of course this was outside the gated community in which I lived.

Don't get me wrong, we were the weirdos of the community. I mean what kind of family lets their daughters be shepherds in the staged nativity scene which was part of the Christmas celebrations each year. Shepherds were boys, not girls. There were a few other weirdos who lived in the gated community so at least we weren't alone. We were actually double weirdos to everyone who lived outside the gate but who is counting?

Getting back to the title, my life today is influenced by a give away tape my parents got for me at the grocery store. I don't remember much except that I played the tape and acted it out for my imaginary audience all the time. The part that sticks with me is when a squirrel or chipmunk - some high pitched animal - sang this:

Integrity means being fair in every situation. Doing what is right in every part of your day. We must do, we must do, what is right, what is right, in each part, in each part of our da-a-a-ay!

So there you go. I'm sure my parents had something to do with my strong since of integrity but to this very day I hear that song in my head.

LM (=

Worst Mom EVER - close call but nervous..

2010-06-05T10:25:00.000-07:00

I am good at a lot of things. I can do funny tricks with my tongue. I can make myself laugh on command. I am also pretty good with computers, applications, servers, and all that technical stuff.

I am not good at gardening. Last year I made my first garden and I thought it was successful because we grew veggies! The fact that maybe 6 out of the 20 or so plants we put in there lived was a baseline for improvement. This year we are only focusing on strawberries and they are twice as big as last year!

Here comes the worst mom ever part. When I picked my wonderful son up from school before Mother's Day he had a present for me. It was a little decorated pot with some sort of plant growing in it. (= It melted my heart.

Worst mom ever action number one: I sat on it.
I put it in the backseat but my son was concerned that it might fall over. I grabbed the plant and put it in the front drivers seat while I strapped him into his car seat. Instead of moving the plant to the cup holder like I had intended, I spaced and sat on the plant. Luckily it survived and the only problem was that it looked like I shit my pants because of the soil. (=

Worst mom ever action number two: I put them into a coma.
When we got home I doted on my son and we put the mystery plant by the window in the kitchen. I've been watering it and all was going well until one day I checked on it and both little seedlings looked DOA. I gave them some water and one perked up.

Worst mom ever action number three: I don't know what the hell to do with them!

Last year I tried to grow seedlings with my son and all of them bit the dust. I do not want his special mother's day present to join last year's seedlings in plant heaven. They are tiny. Do I put them in a bigger pot? Do I plant them outside? Am I giving them too much or too little water? What the hell kind of plant is it??

The real bitch is I tried to research how to do this stuff last year and they all still died. As important as this plant is to me, I just hate to spend the time researching again when I don't even know what kind of plant it is. Can anyone help me get out of being the worst mom ever? (=

LM (=

Funniest comment of the morning

2010-02-15T08:20:00.000-08:00

I told my five year old son that the person on his shirt was Jimi Hendrix and he was a musician. My son got so excited and said, “Wow, I love musicians! They do tricks!” Then he turned to his dad and said, “This is a musician! He does magic tricks. I love magic tricks!”
LM (=

Confessions

2009-12-27T12:19:00.000-08:00

I admit, I let my son play Mario Party on the wii. In fact, he knows what many of the characters say when they win. Now that I've confessed I will get on to the story.

I just told my son that he could play Mario Party. His face lit up in excitement! He exclaimed, "I love you mom!" I told him that I loved him too. Then he made a circle with his arms and told me that he loved me more than the world. I replied that I loved him more than the world!

My son's face became serious. He said, "I do care about the world more than you mom. But I do care about you."

(= LM

Funny Comments from a Four Year Old

2009-12-27T10:56:00.000-08:00

I love my son. He brings me joy and laughter every day. I a recent comment that I would like to share in the hopes that it will bring a smile to your face!

My son just said, "Mom, I just tasted an egg burp!" I said, "eww, sorry!" He replied, "No, it was a delicious egg burp."

(= LM