Whole in your Truth?

I Worked Hard For This Body!

2018-01-07T22:39:00.004+00:00

So, this week was back to the 5.45am wakeup call for the gym.

Really tough after such a nice two weeks of lying in, eating pretty much what I want, putting off the day when I’d have to work hard to lose it again.

The last year has seen me lose a fair bit of weight. The comments, I guess are nice – ‘oh you’re looking good’ or ‘I thought you were looking trim’. But as I’ve got back into some fitness, I’ve realised a subtle undertone to my responses of ‘thank you’ – ‘yes, I have worked hard for this’.

Early mornings.

Deadly spin classes.

Monotonous laps in the pool.

I’ve worked hard.

I deserve it…

The whole weight-loss fitness thing can have its religious overtones of course. I consult my healthy food ‘Bible’. I might ‘confess’ to my wife if I’ve contravened a ‘2’ day (yes the dreaded 5:2 diet). I try to ‘be good’ but don’t always succeed. I even dress the part in my Ron Burgundy sweatbands (that’s a joke btw).

Why it’s harder than ever to stay fit

So why is it harder to keep fit nowadays? And why might that fuel my pride in my achievements? There’s probably several reasons, but here’s just two.

The first is our sedentary lifestyle. Technology has led to amazing advances in how we work, but has meant that to stay fit we have to put more effort in, often in our ‘spare time’. In years past, manual work and house work without white goods meant more natural fitness from our daily lives. If we ‘looked good’ then big deal, it’s just what we did; it often didn’t mean extra effort or planning.

A second factor is the rise of sugar and fat-laden foods that are so readily available. We’ve gone from consuming roughly 2 kilos of sugar a year at the end of the 1800s to roughly the same in a week (!). Cheaper and quick-to-prepare/order ready meals, ideal for our fast pace of life, add to the problem.

Performance-driven identity

What’s the problem here? Sure, when I am scoffing my face with these rather tasty Bojangles Christmas chocolates (I’ve got to finish them soon, right!?), I feel good – for a while. But then the guilt and self-loathing begins. And the comparisons – I’ll never be as fit as so and so. Unlike my brother, I’ll never be able to give up chocolate!

And when I’m winning in the gym? I feel good – for a while. And then I start comparing myself to others again. This time, my verdict is that I’m more disciplined, committed….better.

There is such a temptation to let my performance in fitness (but not only there, in so many other arenas too) dictate my identity. To determine who I can look down on to make me feel better…accepted…saved even.

Acceptance-driven identity

This is where the message of Christianity is such good news. We are accepted by God, not because of what we do, but what Jesus has done.

As Tim Keller famously said,

The gospel is the good news of gracious acceptance…Christians who trust in Christ for their acceptance with God, rather than in their own moral character, commitment, or performance, are simul iustus et peccator – simultaneously sinful yet accepted. We are more flawed and sinful than we ever dared believe, yet we are more loved and accepted than we ever dared hope at the same time.’

I don’t have to perform for anyone. My self-worth and identity isn’t dependent on how I look, or how hard I’ve worked, or if I’m fitter than someone else.

As Keller finishes his excellent little booklet ‘The Freedom of Self-Forgetfulness’:

Like (the apostle) Paul, we can say, ‘I don’t care what you think. I don’t even care what I think. I only care about what the Lord thinks.’ And he has said, ‘Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus’, and, ‘You are my beloved child in whom I am well pleased’.

My hard work is a response to the ultimate work Jesus did for me in dying on the cross to free me from pride and find a stable identity, accepted in him. As a Christ-follower, when in the gym, and in life, I can let my acceptance drive my performance – not the other way around.

3 Reasons Why So Many Hate The Last Jedi

2018-01-01T21:00:00.000+00:00

The Last Jedi is creating waves – critics loved it, but fans are more divided than ever (note major spoiler alerts ahead). People have queued up to criticise the plot holes – Snoke’s early demise after so much hype; the seemingly pointless casino side-story; the strange morphing of Luke from perhaps the only male hero of the series to a crazy, spoilt fool, the poor humour, and so on (see a summary of fans’ biggest complaints). But I think the real reasons run deeper than all of this.

Most mainstream films comprise certain key threads, such as a world cloaked in meaning and purpose within a bigger story of good vs evil, or a hero who saves the day. If you are a Christian you might note that the narrative arc of so many films mirrors that which we see in the Christian worldview - the most epic Story of all, of creation, fall and redemption through Jesus Christ.

Christian or not, all of us have a worldview - a set of beliefs and assumptions that we use when interpreting the world around us. And it is when these fundamental assumptions come into conflict, or are exposed as inconsistent, that things get interesting.

Here are three worldview themes that The Last Jedi has tampered with, and why they might affect how many have received this film.

1. History

Kylo Ren to Rey: ‘Let the past die; kill it if you have to. That’s the only way to become who you were meant to be’ and ‘We are weak when we need others, when we search for meaning in others…’

Yoda to Luke: ‘…look past a pile of old books…read them have you?...Wisdom they held, but nothing that girl Rey already possesses…’

A pervasive theme in The Last Jedi is that the past doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter who Rey’s parents were; it doesn’t matter what Luke did in the past; it doesn’t matter if the ancient Jedi texts are destroyed.

Why?

Because the past can restrict you. If the Force is only for the Jedi, then ‘ordinary mortals’ won’t grasp that they too can harness its power. If we are constrained by our genes, our biology, then we won’t live out our potential to grow beyond the shackles of the past.

Director Rian Johnson has ingeniously tapped into a central doctrine of our culture – that we are defined by what is inside us. Not by our lineage. Not by our ‘externally imposed’ gender identity. Not by oppressive religious structures or ancient texts.

And yet, deep down, there is a conflict at the heart of Star Wars. The build up to the back-story of Rey and of Snoke from The Force Awakens were cast aside with a few brandishes of a lightsaber. The tension in the cast (and now among fans) seems palpable. But why this tension? Because it mirrors our reality. Deep down we know that history does matter. Where we have come from is important. The Last Jedi goes against the Star Wars grain here. A pre-episode VIII Christianity Today article, commenting on how Lucas started with Episode IV rather than I, sums it up:

‘By dropping us into the middle of the action from the start, Lucas made us feel like more must be out there somewhere, languishing in some back closet, the untold story that might have something to do with us…There is something deeply religious about this tradition, this recovering of history—something we tend to forget, but that’s buried in our subconscious.

It seems to me that we live in a world more alive to religious questions than it has been in decades—but also one more stripped of historical memory. I wonder, perhaps, if the Star Wars saga, dropping us into the center of the story and then stringing the story along for decades in both our universe and theirs, reinvigorates in us the deeply religious need for a sense of belonging: not just to a group of the living, but to those who’ve come before us, and will come after.’

2. Purpose

Kylo Ren to Rey – “You come from nothing…you have no place in this story…you are nothing. But not to me!”

The Last Jedi powerfully portrays how mere mortals can be the heroes. Rey’s parents are lowly junk scavengers. But it doesn’t matter - she can be special. She needs to learn to control and then reach out with her feelings to be all she wants to be.

This is again the wisdom of our age – you can do it! You have the power – in your home, phone, or even in your head. There is no such thing as an anointed hero. Just search for the hero inside yourself.

But again, there is tension here, and by the end even The Last Jedi can’t get away from the fact that perhaps Rey is a bit special after all, and that we long for heroes like her who will save the rest of us.

But why? Could it be because we are so rooted in a bigger story as outlined by the Christian worldview? A worldview that says we are somebody - created perfect, but disfigured and misguided. We have become, like Rey, as ‘nothing’ – nothing that would commend us as being worthy of special attention. But we have been called to a special purpose. Like Rey, we haven’t asked for this. But unlike Rey, our purpose isn’t contingent on what we DO, rather than what Jesus has DONE for us.

3. Reality

In Revenge of the Sith, one character says, "Only SIths (dark Jedi) deal in absolutes."

In Return of the Jedi, Obi-Wan states, “Many of the truths we cling to depend on our point of view.” Prior to this, he justifies a lie by stating, “What I told you was true, from a certain point of view.”

If the Force is all one, permeating everything, then there is no room for actual evil or actual good. Good and evil are part of the same whole, which means that ethics simply degenerate to relativism –no truth is absolute.

What is interesting is not that this worldview persists in The Last Jedi – it most certainly does – but that the reaction to it seems to be stronger, as if the tension between the two worldviews is at breaking point.

Whilst on board with Finn and Rose, Benicio del Toro’s character DJ explains why he deals with both The Resistance and The First Order - ‘Live free. Don’t join’ he says (and, being consistent, promptly betrays them when the price is right). He further justifies how arms dealers sold to ‘the bad guys and the good guys’, saying that good and evil are ‘made up words’.

It is perhaps the backdrop on which this is painted - the odious inhabitants and casino-lovers of Cantonica – which makes this most jarring. How can you stare such inequality and greed in the eye and say that good and evil are made up words?

The Last Jedi seems to be attempting to reject this Christian worldview. And yet it can’t avoid it, because the franchise’s entire premise rests on the reality of good and evil being real. We root for the oppressed victims - the Resistance fighters – longing for them to triumph over ‘dark side’. We urge Kylo Ren to ‘turn’ from dark to light. From evil to good.

Why does our knowledge of good and evil resonate so deeply within us? Why do we know deep down that DJ is wrong? Could it be because we are made in the image of a transcendent God who is the author of all things good? In a world where truth is relativized, it is in Jesus that we find the reality we are true wired for.

Lessons from The Matrix

Of course, we see other Christian worldview concepts throughout Star Wars. Self-sacrifice. Hope. The oppressed obtaining final (but as-yet-unseen) vindication against the wicked oppressors.

Even more so, these concepts are nonsensical in the worldview framework offered by pantheism or Buddhism or Western Secular Individualism.

Why sacrifice yourself?

How do we even define ‘good’ and why should we want to fight for it?

If all is in ‘balance’, then will evil ever be destroyed?

The reaction to The Last Jedi vividly shows what happens when you play with what is so written on our hearts. We should take a warning from The Matrix trilogy which lost the fulcrum of the ‘chosen Saviour’. Instead it embraced a secular/pantheistic hybrid, with a rapidly deteriorating trilogy ending in real disappointment for so many (I still remember how I felt leaving the cinema after watching Revolutions).

Our place in the Story

As we watch films, we are often being invited to see our place in the story. Are we a world-wearied Luke, or on a journey of self-discovery like Rey? When we find ourselves pondering our place in the story of our lives, perhaps we might echo Rey’s statement when in the cave on Ahch-To: “I need someone to show me my place in all this.”

The gospel tells us that God came to do this very thing. He didn’t write a message about himself in the sky, give individual trances about himself or send down a book of wisdom. He himself came. Jesus walked on this earth so that humans can know God come to be with us. He died a gruesome death by crucifixion, but three days later he physically rose again. And now he says – “I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me.”

The Christian worldview gives a consistent, comprehensive and satisfying explanation of where we came from, who we are, and what our place is in this world… But are we shaped and moulded by that worldview? Do we uncritically accept the worldviews presented in what we watch, listen to and think about? As we embrace Star Wars for its incredible story, let’s be prepared to identify and discuss what’s going on beneath the surface, because it might shape our reaction more than we realise.

Perhaps by playing with the formula, The Last Jedi has given us a helping hand in that direction.

Some articles which are excellent on Star Wars and Worldview:

The Irresistible Force of ‘Star Wars’: 3 Popular Approaches

Star Wars Movies Are Fun, Just Remember They Sometimes Contradict a Biblical Worldview

May the Force Bewitch You: Evaluating the Star Wars Worldview

Why We Get Religious About ‘Star Wars’

Photo Credit J D Hancock (Flickr)

My marriage is better than yours

2017-04-30T20:05:00.000+01:00

I remember the day our marriage was (almost) over. It was 2 years ago. Married then for 9 years, we’d got past the magic 7 years and maybe thought we were fine. But then the problems mounted, reaching their peak around the time when I broke my back.

Realising we were about to crumble was crushing.

Many people looked up to us. People would often say – ‘You’re sorted. Three kids, a nice house, a doctor and a nurse, John’s in ministry’ – the assumption being that our marriage was solid and impregnable.

How wrong they were.

This year we’ve heard of marriages at breaking point for two of our friends. And we found ourselves wondering - why they didn’t talk to us? Did they think we’d look down on them?

Until I realised, we were just the same.

When I was younger, I was left confused by the breakup of what seemed to be a stable marriage in my church. I had heard the guy speak many times, and felt I knew him well. When the marriage crumbled, I wondered why he hadn’t been more honest? I felt cheated, and vulnerable – as if no one’s marriage was safe.

Until I realised, we were just the same.

Maybe we weren't meant to be

The thing is this - when things in marriage are going badly, we tend to think ‘we’re the only ones’.

We’re the only ones who argue this much

We’re the only ones who don’t feel in love any more

We’re the only ones who don’t share similar interests

...perhaps we weren’t meant to be after all.

And we look around at these happy, stable marriages…and it makes us feel worse. And so we say nothing, fearing the shame of being the odd ones out. Until it’s too late.

A confession

Equally, when marriage is going well, do you ever tend to look at other couples and rejoice in their imperfect relationship? I confess, I sometimes do. It makes me feel better.

At least we don’t argue that much

At least we’re still in love after 11 years

At least we get on well

This comparison game is dangerous. And it’s all based on a lack of genuine friendship and transparency which is devastating for many marriages today.

There is hope

In our darkest times I am (at least now) so grateful to the two people who stepped in and asked us how we really were. People who risked their relationship with us and loved us enough to ask that difficult question; but more than that, let us into their lives too to show us that there is hope.

I’m not saying all marriages are difficult – certainly some are more so than others. But when it's difficult, did you just get it wrong? How do you know you are married to the right person? It's simple really - just look at your marriage certificate! Many of the ‘best’ marriages are carved out of years of struggle and difference between two unlike people!

I’m not saying that it’s easy. A few years of pastoral ministry and working as we do in healthcare means we understand the devastation of relationships damaged over years. It doesn’t mean an easy fix. Our healing is ongoing too. And yet I would say to you this – don’t live in isolation. Invite people to ask you difficult questions. Seek help early. Don’t feel you are alone.

I’m also not saying that Christian marriages are necessarily ‘better’. I have many friends with great marriages that are going amazingly.

What has kept us together?

Well, it’s not been based on how ‘in love’ we feel. Instead it’s because of God’s forgiveness for each of us that has given us to strength to forgive the other. Because God loves us come what may, we receive the ability to love the other – even when we are most unlovable. Because as the video below shows - this is about that.

So no, my marriage isn’t better than yours. But at least now you know that for sure!

4 Reasons England vs Iceland shouldn't be replayed

2016-06-29T08:37:00.000+01:00

Millions want us to replay it.

'If only they'd known the despair it would cause' said Bob on 5Live.

Roy losing his job.

Grown men crying on the radio.

A nation shamed.

Gary phoned TalkSport and cried, 'If only the team had known the effect it would have on their country perhaps they'd have tried harder'.

Here are 4 reasons why some believe we should replay the game and my response:

1. 'The players didn't fully grasp the consequences of losing '

The shame. The embarrassment. Fans will be out of pocket. BBC/ITV will lose viewers. Our world ranking will drop.

Come on UEFA,this could be catastrophic. Don't let a minnow like Iceland ruin things!

Now we've lost and know all this,surely the players would try harder next time?

We can't argue for a reply on this basis.

The signs were there. We've performed poorly up until the game. And with hindsight it's not such a surprise. We've not progressed in Europe for years.

The players did know - they've grown up watching us fail. They were petrified of losing and didn't put forward a positive case on the pitch to remain in the competition.

And yet the consequences will be short lived. In 2 years there'll be another manager. We'll recover. Let's take a deep breath and gain perspective. The Premier League will carry on,we'll negotiate some other games beyond Europe,and one day we'll come again.

Furthermore,more English players should go and play in Europe. Our lack of understanding of the game there has led to problems. We don't know the footballing language and culture. Now we're out perhaps everyone may benefit from our team playing the way we know best suits us, which I believe will mutually benefit teams across the continent.

2. 'Millions want it replayed '

How dare Iceland have the nerve to beat us? We'd go much further in the competition! Indeed before the game all the experts said England should win, surely they're right?

And so I bet if we held a petition we could get millions demanding a replay - there, surely we can't ignore that! Iceland only have a population of 330,000!

The thing is,we lost. I don't like it. But this is how it works. The rules were clear,the playing field level,the consequences of losing outlined. And we still lost.

3. 'Iceland are a pub team,we'd beat them 99 times out of 100'.

The problem is,if we replay this game,what precedent does that set?

If you are the underdog,don't bother,because those who know best will demand a reply until he 'correct result' is achieved.

I honestly think the majority football world would be devastated. You know, places where corruption rules,betting lords have influence, and associations will annul results riding roughshod over the players.

We must respect the system we have, where a game that takes place in safety, players are paid enough to not need to throw games...and so on.

We can't change the rules because we don't like the result.

This principle is more important than our exiting the European championships! We played the game,took a risk,and lost. But let's not undermine the rules,because that would be to do worse than lose in the first place.

4. 'Iceland,Slovakia,Russia and their negative methods'

I have often heard the complaint that teams have used dodgy tactics to win. Parking the bus. Not playing, just defending. If they would only play some football,have some ambition - then we might win, insinuated Roy.

The fact is, both teams tried to do what it took to win. Both sides bent the rules at times.And yet England made all sorts of errors. Like trying to play 4-3-3 with no in-form wide men in the squad.

Perhaps most tellingly we failed to really understand Iceland (and Slovakia and Russia before) and assumed that because we wanted to play, we'd win in the end.

I think we need to work harder at understanding the methods of other teams and address them at source. Then we can stop this talking across one another at press conferences and maybe even learn something from each other before we label teams negative and 'anti-football'.

Finally, we are still in Europe. Our teams will still employ players from all over the world. They are welcome. We're not about to 'send players home' because we're out of the Euros. There's an exciting future ahead....now let's enjoy the rest of the tournament!

Leave the poor worship leader alone

2016-04-03T21:01:00.000+01:00

So I am reading a lot of posts recently about this.

You know, the jokes about the endless repetition and emptiness of many of today’s worship songs (the ‘Jesus is my best friend’ songs).
Or about worship leaders who wish they were in a band and are using the church as a platform for their ego.

Or laments about many wanting to lead worship rather than preach the Word.

Some of this is quite funny. But I find it leaves a nasty taste in my mouth, and I began to wonder why.

So here’s 5 reasons why I think we should be careful when it comes to criticising worship leaders and the songs they sing:

1. God is bigger than my personal preference

Books have been written on this, like this and this. And yes I am misusing the word ‘worship’ here (worship is what we do with our whole lives etc etc). But this is a short blog, so I’ll say this. Throughout the Bible we see a high place afforded to corporate praise and worship (e.g. Psalm 150). Playing skilfully, singing Psalms, Hymns and spiritual songs to the Lord (Ephesians 5:19, Colossians 3:16).

We are right to highlight the centrality of Scripture, and I think all would acknowledge that we can do this in song too, but it doesn’t HAVE to be a 4 verse hymn. It might include some repetition for instance; even in heaven it seems people may sing 'Holy' more than once!

I know many faithful Christians who love Jesus who are seeing people saved and loves transformed and they happen to love charismatic worship.

Stop press – God is bigger than my personal preference and he does operate outside of my denominational boundaries (although if I were Him I perhaps wouldn’t).

2. They aren’t the only ones at it

So let’s concede for a minute that some are in the worship leading business because they love playing to 100s of people and crave the adulation of the performance rather than doing it to ‘honour God’.

The thing is, being so visible, they are an easy target.

What about the missionary who goes overseas with a superiority complex that they are the ones doing the real gospel work, secretly craving acceptance from God and others because of the sacrifice they make?

What about the young man who goes into a preaching ministry because he needs to ‘sort the church’s theology out’ and he’s the guy to do it?

Many are in ministry with mixed motives. Not that we shouldn’t check motives and deal with heretical teaching, but let’s be aware that some (and I believe it’s a minority) worship leaders aren’t the only ones at it.

3. ‘Worship bands’ are a place of discipleship

I once heard a worship band criticised publically in a church setting. One of the band members was distraught and confused. She was growing in her faith and really sensed God had called her to lead in worship, but was now being criticised for wanting to be some contestant off the X-Factor.

The thing is, I have seen so many young people stay in church because of a peer-group band. In the long term it shouldn't be THE reason they stay of course, and most won’t be platinum-selling artists, but for many it offers an opportunity to serve, make a difference and to enjoy being in church.

Let’s be careful that we don’t alienate many who are young in the faith who will read sarcastic comments and take them (unsurprisingly) personally.

4. It can sound snide

Look, I am a Calvinist. I have a high view of Scripture and in a corporate gathering look to the reading and preaching of God’s Word as the high point of the service.

And yet many comments I hear about young worship leaders are snide and designed to entertain.

1 Thessalonians 5:11 says ‘Therefore encourage one another and build one another up…’ – this doesn’t mean don’t rebuke, it doesn’t mean don’t call out false teaching – but I sense it means that when we do so, to do so in private where possible, and to truly call someone to repentance rather than gain likes on Facebook for a witty post.

5. There are poor hymns too

For me, nothing can beat a good hymn - so many contain such richness and truth.

But there are a lot of bad ones too.

I hear a lot about the new ‘Jesus is my best friend’ songs but am yet to hear people state examples after such a sweeping statement.

In fact, I could name several, but that’s not surprising. Charles Wesley wrote over 6000 hymns, but less than 600 are still referred to today. He wrote in an era when he was seen as some new kid on the block writing new-fangled songs and lovers of ‘proper hymns’ were angry.

So let’s recognise that in every era some great songs will be written, and some not-so-good ones too. But don’t let’s prevent people singing a new song to the Lord (Ps 96:1).

Clearly it’s a huge subject. There’s loads of books, posts, courses and opinions out there. I haven’t touched on most issues so feel free to comment and discuss. One post I find helpful is ‘Is Being a Worship Leader Even Biblical’? and this book ‘Worship Old and New’ is really superb.

Image credit: Shutterstock

All it took was a story...

2015-09-05T09:23:00.000+01:00

All it took was an image. A story.

For weeks we hear the statistics

3620 dead in 8 months. Amongst which would have been numerous 3 year olds.

But the headlines continued.

Our politician’s stance became more entrenched.

And then a story.

An image.

3 year old Aylan Kurdi, washed up on a beach.

And everything changes.

Don’t get me wrong, I believe, in the case of Aylan Kurdi, that this is a good thing. It has woken many up to the needs. The statistic back it up. The Bible does too – it always has:

"When a stranger resides with you in your land, you shall not wrong him. The stranger who resides with you shall be to you as one of your citizens; you shall love him as yourself, for you were strangers in the land of Egypt; I am the Lord your God" (Leviticus 19:33-34).

But is it always a good thing that a story changes everything?

I would argue no.

Take assisted suicide. Supporters will fling aside evidence and common sense and present a story of someone who took their life to avoid a terribly painful death for example here. And they do it because it works – it sways public opinion. And it risks swaying our lawmakers.

So what can we take from this? Here’s just three.

1. Embrace the power of story

Doesn’t this sudden change in mood seem strange? An overnight shift, reflected by the Daily Mail’s front page above.

And yet it isn’t strange.

We live in the age of the image. Of the story.

Narrative and stories hold great power.

And yet postmodernism doesn’t have a monopoly on stories. Christians believe THE greatest story ever told. God doesn’t present us with facts and figures. He presents us with a person, Jesus Christ, who lived the life we should have lived and died the death we should die. We can boldly present God’s story – lived out in the stories of our lives. But we mustn’t stop with an emotional story - we must also explain the truth and in many cases the evidence that lies behind it.

2. Beware the power of story

Our postmodern age says that just because something moves us emotionally it must be true.
Even if it displaces logic, or flies in the face of the facts.

But we know this isn’t always the case. One might suspect there will be a backlash soon against immigrants when the mood changes and we are perceived to have taken in ‘too many’.

So we need to soberly examine our emotions against the truth of scripture.

3. Mob rule...rules?

When there is media outcry, politician’s minds are changed.

“First of all a couple of articles are written, or documentaries produced, which question what was previously taboo; then the prophets of our age, the stand up comics, take on the “new radical cause”, the soap operas introduce the subject favourably, the opinion polls tell us “what the people think”, social media kicks in and finally the politicians and judges catch up. Anyone who dares question the new establishment morality is sidelined, abused and mocked" George Robertson, Solas CPC

Where is God in this? What happens when mob rule threatens our freedoms like it threatens to with assisted suicide just next week?

And yet in the most profound miscarriage of justice ever, where mob rule condemned Jesus to death, God was supremely in control.

We can trust that he is in charge, even when mob rule prevails; when it seems good to us as in the case of Aylan Kurdi, and when it doesn’t.

My Spiritual CV Isn't Up To Scratch

2015-06-03T00:49:00.001+01:00

You may have seen them – blogs written by the mum with 5 kids, who’s writing a book, doing a Masters and runs a website – oh and she home-schools her kids!

Or the guy whose Twitter feed describes him as a pastor, musician, blogger, writer, husband, father of 3, international speaker…and he still tweets 30 times a day!

When online I catch myself -

Comparing me to him. My wife to her.

And I feel inferior. Because both I and my wife are, I guess, ordinary.

I’m 6 weeks into being off work with a broken back – a great time to do some study, read books…grow my spiritual CV – and yet I’ve felt too lousy to do anything at all.

And I’m aware again that my spiritual CV seems so inadequate.

Do you ever feel like that?

How should we respond when we do?

Relax – it’s ok to have a great spiritual CV

I need to remind myself that there is nothing intrinsically wrong with having a great spiritual CV. Look at the Apostle Paul and how God used his background! If you’ve got the gifts, I reckon go for it! I am glad there are high capacity, clever Christians with well-researched blogs (unlike this one!) and who lead big ministries.

Remember – my CV isn’t a measure of my godliness

I am so impressed when people have all these degrees and qualifications, or when they’ve ministered somewhere for 40+ years. But it doesn’t mean they’re more godly. In fact, it means they are more at risk of being the older brother.

Just last week a good friend of mine had a big accident that meant he might not walk again (yes, like me he fell off his bike!). He would say his spiritual CV was in tatters – for months he has been miles from God.

But God is healing him.

Unexpectedly he can walk.

And he feels closer to Jesus than ever!

The work of grace in his life may have a greater impact on his kids than 18 months of consistently being a great dad.

Not that this is a pattern to follow, but it shows God’s outrageous grace to sinful people; God’s throwing a party for him.

And you know my natural reaction?

‘Hey God. I’ve been trying to be faithful here. I’m working hard. My CV is growing. Now look, this guy is closer to you than I am. He doesn’t deserve it!’

I guess I need to remember that God measures things differently.

I want to rejoice when God brings the lost son home

For others, their CV just isn’t as impressive-sounding. My wife deals with ones and twos. She is faithful to what God has given her to do. It doesn’t write up great on a twitter feed or description of herself. Only God knows her faithfulness to him. It’s not for me or another to judge.

Relief - God uses those with holes in their CVs

Most of the Godly people I meet don't have impressive CVs. In fact the bible is full of such characters like Peter, Moses and Abraham – it’s not an excuse, but the reality.

I know a guy with no qualifications to his name. He’s in his 70s. He would have a fairly blank resumé as we know it if he were to write a blog or list his credentials.

He boasts quite simply that he knows Jesus.

How I want to be like that. Even if I have stuff on my spiritual CV, I hope that I can be faithful to what God says.

'But let him who boasts boast in this, that he understands and knows me’

Jeremiah 9:24

I don’t want to fall into the trap of measuring my success or godliness by the length or depth of my spiritual CV. And so if my spiritual CV isn’t up to scratch I don’t have to worry.

Just trust Him.

John Greenall is a Paediatrician and Head of….

Oh stuff it...

John Greenall wants to boast that he knows Christ

Image credit: Shutterstock

3 Things I Learnt From My Technology-Free Day

2015-05-21T20:39:00.000+01:00

No email, TV, text messaging, social media…for 24 hours.

Most of you will have clicked here to see how long I lasted so I’ll tell you

10 minutes!

I turned over in bed and checked Facebook - like I was on autopilot – and I couldn't help commenting on a really incendiary link someone had posted.

After that however, apart from a phone call to the hospital (I’m off with a bad back, see my previous post) the day went well.

So what did I learn from my day?

1. I’m addicted to it

I constantly look at my phone.

Has this guy responded to my comment on Facebook (not yet)?

Has John replied to my email (come on, I sent it 15 minutes ago!)?

What’s the cricket score (depressing but I still want to know)?

I noticed some simple things on my day off:

Our bathroom echoes (I won’t elaborate)

I heard a woodpecker whilst waiting for Oz and Rob (who were being fashionable late to meet me)

I wondered what I did before my phone – perhaps I used those quiet moments to think, to pray, or to enjoy the silence – now I can fill every waking minute with interesting ‘noise’.

Technology addiction is growing fast; indeed it’s thought to be as strong as craving certain drugs and these 9 facts about social media are amazing.

This experiment has shown me that I am as at risk as anyone, and only by pulling back did I realise my vulnerability.

2. I can’t avoid it

Almost everything I do now is related to my computer.

Be it communicating via email, writing a paper, reading the news or my blogs, using Logos bible tools, e-books….. whilst it has its dangers as I mention above, it is the reality of the world I live in.

And it raises the question

'How do I live well as a follower of Jesus in the midst of it all?'

How do I respond to the fact that the pace of my life seems to increase in line with the technology I have?

I think this is a profound challenge to get to grips with.

Many have written well on its uses e.g. prayer apps, churches and dangers e.g. idolatry and being a Christian in a digital future highlighting how technology is moulding our identity and its link to loneliness and depression amongst many other things.

I’m sure you have more answers than I have – but its answers we need.

3. I love it

Many of the podcasts I listen to are funny, informative and I can listen when it best suits me.

Communicating with friends all over the world wherever I am be it in a field nearby or in a refugee camp is amazing. I wouldn't have known that the shaking at 2.43 this morning was an earthquake.

And so I want to embrace it.

I want to learn how to use it more effectively.

In my work with CMF I would love to explore using podcasts and videos (by 2018 79% of the online content consumed by 18-21 year olds will be through video or audio – not plain text!).

And as we seek to share the good news of Jesus - whilst nothing replaces real life on life, face to face discipleship - we have more opportunities than ever to get resources into the hands of people who need them most.

On reflection I have come up with 3 resolutions (you can check with me to see if I keep to them):

1. Have one day a week away from technology

That means a rest from social media and emails for one day

2. Check my emails just twice and day and never on my phone

This means I’m not feeling enslaved to responding immediately and actually will be much more time-efficient

3. Do my best to be ‘in the present’ when in company, especially my family

This means I am more likely to listen, enjoy and consider the moment, giving my full attention to people rather than sharing it with someone else 2000 miles away.

In other words, no social media until I am genuinely not interfering with a face to face relationship.

I hope these resolutions aren’t legalistic but encourage me to be a better steward of what God has given me and to rely on Him to guide me in this

I might even try another ‘fasting day’ - and see if I can last longer than 10 minutes!

What do you think? Any tips on how to handle technology?

Image: Shutterstock

What’s your pain on a scale of 1-10?

2015-04-28T12:11:00.003+01:00

It doesn’t look too high. Come on John, you can do it. You’ve ridden mountain bikes for years.

Pedal, anticipate, maximum speed body weight forward– and jump.

Except I lose the bike.

And I drop like a lead balloon.

The pain. In my backside. My back. My legs.

The crack. By back has just broken in two.

As my screams subside, I can’t breathe.

I’m holding my best friend’s hand (which in retrospect is kind of weird!)

The pain is sooo intense.

Minutes pass.

I can’t feel my feet.

My medical brain kicks in – ‘at least I’ve had 3 kids’ I muse.

But I’ve just snapped my back. What sort of dad will I be in a wheelchair?

4 hours later and I finally get to hospital.

‘What’s your pain on a scale of 1-10?’ asks the nurse.

22! I think, but all I can do is sob through the pain.

Some morphine. Then some more. Before finally the pain subsides.

My pain score has been re-set.

What used to be a 10 is now a 5.

And I have a new-found respect for my wife (I thought she was a wuss for wanting more than Entanox in labour – oh the shame!)

As I lay in hospital for those 3 days I was repeatedly asked to score my pain.

Were the nurses that bothered? Did they feel that pain with me? Did anyone care as I lay there in the night?

It didn’t seem like it...

And then I’m home.

And Nepal happens. Over 4000 dead. A nation in pain.

My Facebook page tells me there are 2.5 million child sex slaves in the world.
I know that every minute 15 children die from preventable diseases.
On my very road there are lonely, depressed, suicidal, beaten, chronically abused people.

And I ask myself:

What pain do I feel on a scale of 1-10?

Do I really care about their suffering?

Or am I indifferent?

The girl on my ward at work, with a recurrence of a brain tumour and little hope of a cure.

What pain do I feel on a scale of 1-10?

Do I really care about her suffering?

Or am I indifferent?

When I started medicine my pain and empathy levels were high.

I would be affected. Moved. Angry.
I would feel the pain.

But my pain score has been re-set.

And not in a good way

What was a 10 is now a 5.What was a 7 is now a 1.

And I sometimes barely flinch. I am indifferent.

What will it take for me to feel their pain? Not to feel empathy as I am taught at med school. But to enter into that pain in true compassion?

What will it take for me to be angry, angry enough to get off my backside and give, go, campaign - rather than sit apathetically and wait for someone else to take the lead?

What will make me desperate enough to pray for the comfort of God, for true healing and restoration?

The only way to keep my pain score attuned is to focus daily on the most painful, unjust event in all of history.

As I gaze at the cross, the agony that Christ went through for me – as I see how wide and deep and high and long his love was that took him there – where there was no morphine, no diazepam, no-one to hold his hand – it is there that I am captivated again by his love for me.

It is there that I see him hurting for the girl on my ward, hurting for each of these dear Nepalese. Hurting for my neighbours. Hurting for my patients.

He understands.

Because he’s been off the pain scale, he has compassion for those who despair.

Oh God, re-set our pain score and help us to enter into and feel and journey through the pain with those who are hurting and show them Jesus, the God of comfort, who comforts us in our troubles so that we can comfort those in trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God (2 Corinthians 1:3-4).

Image - www.thebricktestament.com

Will it be me or them?

2015-02-07T12:33:00.000+00:00

Medicine seemed so…I don’t know…heroic.

Romantic even.

Treating sick patients, seeing them healed and eternally grateful.

That warm glow of appreciation that I could bask in for weeks.

Yes there’s lots of exams, but the rewards would make it worth it.

Right?

And yet time and again patients are ungrateful. And sometimes they don’t get better!

What’s more

It’s hard to be friendly with my colleagues on my 5^th night shift

It’s hard to do as my registrar asks me even though he’s really getting on my nerves

It’s hard to go the extra mile and reassure the agitated 86-year-old on Spencer Ward who everyone else is ignoring

It’s hard to treat with dignity the drunk who everyone else on my team belittles and curses, and who belittles and curses me

Outside of work,

It can be hard to get home and put my wife (who is also tired), first

It can be hard to let my children inconvenience me and play ‘My Little Pony’ rather than doing what I want to do on my day off

It can be hard to spend time with a friend who is low because you know what, I just can’t take any more…

Of course there are times to be balanced.

And yet these choices face us several times a day.

My preference or his?

My security, or hers?

My vulnerability, or theirs?

My children’s freedom, or mine?

The simple call of the Christian life is

IT’S ME OR THEM

When God killed the firstborn way back in Egypt, the choice was:

It’s the lamb or the boy.

When Abraham took Isaac to sacrifice him, the choice was:

It’s the ram or the boy.

In the garden of Gethsemane Jesus is in agony. The anticipation of what he was about to do caused his great physical and mental distress.

Will he drink the cup of punishment or will we?

Will it be him, or us?

And Jesus says – ‘Father, Your Will be done’.

‘LET IT BE ME, NOT THEM’.

Let it be me, not John.

Let it be me, not you…

That’s how much he loved us.

When we have grasped the depths of Jesus’ substitutionary sacrifice, we are empowered to do the supernatural - to truly love others.

To say:

Lord, let it be me, not him

Let it be his preference, not mine

Let it be my loss of security, not hers

Let me risk my vulnerability, not theirs

Let me lose my freedom, not my children’s

So my prayer is that I would be ready to lose

my security

my vulnerability

my time

my convenience

my energy

my professional pride

my notion of ‘what’s in it for me’

and instead be who God is calling me to be to them.

I know I fail using my own resources (I’ve tried and it doesn’t work - for long!), and I am called to imitate Christ, who at the cross most profoundly shows us the way; more than that, who enables us as we trust Him and receive His Spirit to be able to say along with him:

"Let it be me, not them"

Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving. Colossians 3:23-24

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My newborn baby is sick...and it’s all my fault

2014-09-05T00:13:00.001+01:00

In my workplace the word ‘waterbirth’ is usually preceded by an expletive. Paediatricians don’t like them. Too many babies swallow water and end up in incubators.

Of course water can greatly help with pain relief for mum and so on. And yes most midwives sell it as ‘natural’; I was even told I was wrong to doubt the method by our attending midwife – “it’s completely safe”.

But midwives are not there to pick up the pieces when babies get sick. They don’t see and feel the consequences.

In my day job, I do.

And so into hospital we go for our third baby.

Yes a home birth of course was out of the question. But a waterbirth? I was less resolute. I hadn’t even discussed any reservations I may have had with my wife. After all…

Why should I medicalise everything when I’m there to be dad not doc?

Our friends have had waterbirths and it’s all been ok.

My wife would benefit from the pain relief, so I’d be mean to stop her.

The midwives seem so confident.

And so into the water we went.

And then it happened.

‘It’ was born. And ‘it’ was a boy! But he looked bluer than I’d expect. And his breathing was more rattly than I’d anticipate. And as time went on his breathing got faster. And faster. And faster.

My colleague came to see him. She wanted to take him away. I tried to suggest that he was just tired from being passed around. She disagreed. Being more senior than her I was tempted to overrule her. Surely he can’t have an infection!

And then I saw it - the chest x-ray – and it looked pretty horrible.

He’d aspirated some water onto his lungs!

I sensed a hollow feeling in the pit of my stomach.

Which didn’t go away while he was being jabbed several times.

Or while his stomach was upset from the antibiotics.

And that’s just here and now. What about the long-term effects on a baby’s lungs from early pneumonia and on his gut from the antibiotic course?

I could have prevented it.

I feel so stupid.

So….guilty.

Dealing with Guilt

So how do you deal with guilt?

How do you deal with the feeling that you could have prevented harm to your child?

Well of course my guilt might be false guilt – that actually I haven’t made a mistake and shouldn’t blame myself. And that may be a valid argument here for the reasons I mention above.

But what if the guilt is real? The kind of guilt that so many people live with?

Bad decisions.

Neglect.

A moment of madness when someone strikes their child.

Or a child that has been injured - or even more terribly, died - on their watch.

And you feel like it is all your fault.

How do you live with that?

It can be paralysing. It can haunt people for the rest of their lives.

For some the self-loathing goes so deep that they harm or even commit suicide.

Because they can’t forgive themselves.

For sure, my situation is not anyway near as bad as that. But the issues is still there.

And you know what, it was here that I was reminded of the uniqueness of the Christian faith.

Not a faith that tells me that I’m not responsible for anything, or to blame someone else.

Not a faith that tells me maybe it was ‘fate’ that I cannot control.

Not a faith that says that overall I’m a good person and even good people make mistakes.

No.

This is a faith that tells me that there is a supreme being – God - who is in control of every event in my life, both good and bad.

That nothing that happens couldn’t have been prevented by Him.

That He has a purpose even in the suffering.

A God who has been making my baby for 9 months and cares for Him more than I do.

And God’s word, the Bible, tells me that I am guilty as charged on all counts.

I don’t love God as I should.

I try and rule my own life.

I try to save myself.

And I make mistake after mistake after mistake.

The good news is that I can forgive myself, because God has forgiven me.

The good news is that on the cross Jesus died for every wrong I’ve ever committed.

I can be free of guilt, because He who was not guilty became guilty for me so that I can be acquitted of all charges and live a free life.

You know what? As I thought about this, as I prayed, I can say for sure that the feelings of guilt have gone. For someone like me who finds it hard to get out of negative thought cycles this is amazing and I thank God for that.

Well so far there’s a happy ending. He’s getting better now. And I can’t wait for him to be home soon.

Let us draw near to God with a sincere heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us from a guilty conscience. (Hebrews 10: 22)

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Frozen – why we shouldn’t just Let It Go

2014-08-11T00:07:00.000+01:00

In the months since Frozen was released I have not heard one person sound a cautionary note. Not one.

In fact, most people I know love it. Their kids love it.

So what I am about to say means I am either mad, or fast becoming the odd one out. This may put me at serious odds with my best friends.

There are many great themes in this movie, of family values and even, some argue, a Christian allegory of self-sacrificing love.

Despite not having watched the film, my 5 and 3 year old often belt out the signature tune ‘Let it Go’ from the top of their lungs. It sounds like a catchy tune.

It sounds, well, harmless.

Right?

Let’s take a look at some of the lyrics:

“It's time to see what I can do
To test the limits and break through
No right, no wrong, no rules for me I'm free!

Let it go, let it go
I am one with the wind and sky
Let it go, let it go
You'll never see me cry!

Here I stand
And here I'll stay
Let the storm rage on!

My power flurries through the air into the ground
My soul is spiralling in frozen fractals all around”

Writer(s): Kristen Anderson-Lopez, Emanuel Kiriakou, Robert J. Lopez
Copyright: Wonderland Music Company Inc., Walt Disney Music Company

Gods of our Culture

In the words above, we see 3 gods of our culture espoused:

1) Autonomy above all

‘No right, no wrong, no rules for me I’m free’.

Our secular culture indoctrinates us and our kids to believe that my autonomy is the most important and valuable thing I can seek.

Indeed, it is more important than my responsibilities if it means I find satisfaction, to ‘be who I am’, free of people suppressing my inner power and creativity.

This is the creed of our culture.

We see it all around us.

And we see it in this cute kid’s movie and theme tune that my 3 year old sings.

The Bible on the other hand teaches us that responsibility is more important. Our actions will always impact others, and rather than looking to our own needs, we can teach our kids to put the needs of others first (Philippians 2:4).

2) New Age ideas

‘I am one with the wind and sky’.

This is an increasingly popular belief; that humans are co-creators, God-like, inherently good and one and the same with creation. The language of the New Age is all over Frozen – ‘energy’, ‘oneness’, ‘harmony’, ‘potential’, ‘cleansing’ and ‘consciousness’.

By contrast, the Bible says we are created beings made in God’s image made to glorify him and enjoy his creation rather than be mastered by it (Genesis 1:26-27; 2:15; Isaiah 44:24).

3) You are powerful

‘My power flurries through the air’

The message ‘you are powerful’ screams at us through TV adverts. ‘Impossible Is Nothing’, ‘Just Do It’, ‘We Do It Your Way’, ‘Because I’m Worth It’, ‘Power For Your Control’ etc etc (extra points if you can remember which product these match to*).

Of course, we need to teach our kids that yes, they are powerful. That they can do damage unless they learn to be responsible with their words and possessions.

But our culture takes this too far. We are telling our kids they can do anything - the reality is we are finite human beings who need to depend on the power of our creator and sustainer rather than elevate ourselves to the position of God himself.

Big eyes, small waists

So in addition to the women with impossibly large eyes, small waists and perfect make-up which distorts my daughters view of how she should look, this film gives us a song that captures a world-view advocated by Frozen which should concern Christians.

It’s not working

These cultural creeds are not harmless.

They are at the centre of the degradation of our culture, the undermining of marriage and stable families, broken friendships, shattered dreams.

Our kids need to know it’s not all cute and cuddly and happily ever after, but that it’s a worldview leads away from Jesus to elevate themselves as their own god.

And it’s not working.

I’m not an advocate of making our kids into social misfits who don’t fit in.

What I am saying is that we need discernment.

We need to have our eyes open to the propaganda all around us churned out by our cultural leaders (i.e. the media, advertisers and filmmakers) who want our kids to believe something.

So how can we do this? Here’s some ideas

1) Ask yourself questions

Such as:

What messages does this film/song want me and my kids to believe?

What truth do I see in the Bible that confronts these messages?

Am I keeping my edge, believing that I am meant to live as if my hope is in God rather than in all that our culture hopes for?

2) Ask your kids questions

Such as:

What do the words of the song mean?

Should we indulge our appetites and passions without regard for right and wrong as Elsa says?

What are the consequences of Elsa’s decisions for herself? For others?

What does the God have to say about this?

To do this we need to watch these films (preferably before they watch it and then with them).

We need to be ready to help explain what it is they are seeing, both the good parts (undoubtedly there are some good messages in this film) as well as the more worrying.

3) Point them to Christ

And we need to point them to Christ – the one who is all powerful, the One who created us for relationship with Him, and the One who does set rules of right and wrong for our benefit and happiness. Who calls us to give it all to Him, rather than let it go.

Don’t be duped

Let’s face it, our culture’s message to ‘Let it Go’ just isn’t working.

So let’s not let our kids be duped into thinking it is - just because their screen hero believes and sings it.

After all, our kids will only be duped if we are.

*Adidas, Nike, Burger King, L’Oreal, Alfa Romea

Image credit Elsa from Frozen © Walt Disney
http://impala99.tumblr.com/

I got a parking ticket for being 5 minutes late. And it made me mad…

2014-08-03T23:27:00.001+01:00

5 minutes late!

I couldn’t believe it. Coming out of the swimming pool with the kids I could see his hat above the cars. He can’t be can he?

But he was.

As the ticket was slapped on my car window I ran towards him with a pleading look on my face. ‘Come on mate. I’m only 5 minutes out, any chance you can give me a break?’

To cut a long story short, the answer was a firm ‘no’.

And I was mad.

Mad with myself.

Mad with the guy for being so pernickety.

Just 5 minutes! Why couldn’t he be reasonable? I’m not going to pay £50 for being 5 minutes late! I don’t deserve this! I could use that money for something for more important rather than line Swale County Council’s pockets! I’m going to appeal. And if they reject it, I’ll take it all the way. I’m a big man, and I can take on a small claims court!

To be fair, the guy was reasonable. He said to say in my appeal that I’d been held up in the pool and he’d put a word in for me.

Even so, I drove off in a rage. The kids didn’t know what had hit us!

But then, I stopped.

And I realised that I’m still learning some lessons.

I’m not a murderer, but…

As I considered my reaction, deep down I knew I was in the wrong.

However I think about it, I agreed to get back to my car by 14:58. I knew the rules, they were stated clearly. And arriving at 15:03, I was late. I’d missed the mark. Whether by 5 minutes or 5 hours I was in the wrong. And the penalty was the same.

And it made me think of the Gospel.

The Bible says that I’ve missed the mark. I’m not a bad person. I like to think that often I might have missed it by 5 minutes rather than a murderer’s 5 hours.

What is more, God’s law is far holier and important than Swale County Council’s! So much so, that the penalty for not hitting God’s mark is eternal separation from him, not just £50.

And it’s payable by all.

Unless, of course, someone pays it for us.

How grateful I am that Jesus has paid it for me!

I’m a specialist in self-justification

I am good at this. There’s always an excuse.

‘It wasn’t my fault’.

I’m a child of my culture, which specialises in telling me that it’s not my fault. To look for the culprit. In my case it was:

The kids being too slow.

The person blocking a cubicle.
The swimming pool clock that was fast.
The parking attendant was a jobsworth.

In fact, I loved the attendant’s suggestion that I say I was delayed in the pool. That could be my way out! After all, it’s my first time visiting this place. I could put together a nicely worded letter outlining how I was delayed.

I wouldn’t even need to lie, I could just be economical with the truth. And it could save me £50.

Surely it’s worth it?

My ‘It’s not my fault’ reaction also applies to my relationship with God. When I’ve done wrong I’ve got the excuses lined up:

I was tired.

She antagonised me.
He started it.

The bottom line is, it is my responsibility. In my life, if I don’t hit the mark, then the responsibility is mine, and so the punishment is just.

If I’m tempted to be economical with the truth here, then what does it say about what I’m prepared to do before God?

But God cannot be mocked. He is watching.

How much better is it for me to lose £50 than to lie and grieve God, who has given everything to save me?

I hate being exposed for being wrong

I hate it. I hate someone saying that I’ve done something wrong. I’ll rage, I’ll rant and I’ll try and cover it up. Because it’s embarrassing.

Why? Because I’m respectable. Because I’m capable and together. I’m a church leader for goodness sake! I have an image to maintain here!

But of course, I get things wrong just like anyone. The fact is, some of us are better at hiding it than others.

When we do wrong in secret – looking at some porn, a white lie no-one will notice and so on – it can be tempting to think ‘I’m ok. No-one can see. It doesn’t do any harm’.

But it is destructive.

It gives us false security.
Because God knows.

And because we not only deceive ourselves, but others too. In the end it will destroy our relationships and even entire church communities.

How many of us are willing to be open with our weaknesses?

How many of us can handle being wrong and ask for forgiveness?

I believe that the depth of our communal relationships would be transformed overnight if we were more open, honest and vulnerable with each other.

If we repented of our pride and pointed to our desperate need for Christ rather than our respectable, capable, knowledgeable selves.

You know the funny thing? When I went to pay my fine the computer hasn’t even registered it!

The irony…

Good advice: 4 things I learnt from a single mum with 4 kids

2014-07-29T00:43:00.000+01:00

Are there conversations from years ago that you can recall even now?

What is it about them that makes them stand out?

15 years ago I was and about to go to medical school. One Sunday at church I was stopped by a lady. After a high flying academic career she was then bringing up 4 children under 5 by herself after losing her husband in tragic circumstances.

I remember her looking me in the eye and saying:

“John, when you go to medical school, will you commit to spending as much time studying the Bible as you do studying medicine? Your medicine is important. But being a doctor to souls will be just as important for you. Will you do that?”

I still remember it to this day. Word for word.

I confess that I didn’t do a great job. Yes I worked hard at uni, but I didn’t match it with Bible study. Or anyway near.

Perhaps the irony is that today I split my time 50:50 between my medical work and my church work – this was not pre-planned, but I know in God’s sense of humour that perhaps this was more a prophecy than simple advice!

So what has this taught me about giving advice?

1) Speak boldly into people’s lives

I think about what this lady said to me often. I know that God was using her to speak to me about something, and it’s had a profound impact on me and the way I see life.

And we can do the same.

Do we believe that a single sentence from our mouth can change the course of history, even the course of eternity for someone we may speak to today?

That is what God’s Word does.

We must be ready to be bold. To risk rejection. To risk ‘getting it wrong’.

Because when it is right, God can use you to change someone’s story.

2) Believe God can use you single mums

Ok, so I confess this subheading is an attention-grabber. Of course God can use us all - single, married, parents or otherwise.

The point is, you may feel that you are not much use in God’s kingdom.

Perhaps you used to feel that but now you feel you’re tied up - maybe with 4 kids, or family responsibilities, or illness. You feel out of the front line, that your day has gone. Or perhaps it’s yet to come in the first place!

But see how God used this lady in my life!? She didn’t resign herself to insignificance. She faithfully did what God gave her to do.

So trust God can use you.

He will probably use you more significantly in difficult times than when you feel you’re ideally positioned to be used!

3) Advice: a dish best served face to face

Where do you get advice from? We seem to read or listen to hundreds of pieces of advice a day via blogs, articles, Twitter feeds, text messages or Facebook posts. But how much do we remember?

Of course, we can remember quite a bit. And of course God can speak to us via a computer.

But 15 years on I can still remember where we were and how I was feeling. I remember this lady looking me in the eye. I remember feeling a bit daunted. I can feel it, even now.

When we communicate via computers we can forget that people are spiritual beings. Consequently we can be more flippant, critical and freer with our words, not realising we are having an effect on the eternal destinies of those we communicate with.

So let me encourage you, when you have a word to speak into someone’s life, do it face to face if you can.

4) Say thank you

At a wedding recently I saw this lady for the first time in at least 7 years.

As I told her about what I’m up to, I noted my eyes were filling with tears. I was understanding the effect of her words in my life as I spoke.

The impact she has had on me has been immeasurable. I am so thankful that she stepped out in faith and spoke those words to me all those years ago.

And I had the privilege of being able to encourage her.

With words that sum up what I still feel today:

‘Thank you’.

How about you?

What have you learnt from giving/receiving advice?

Hypocritical Christians

2014-07-23T07:00:00.000+01:00

A friend said to me that the reason he left the faith was because of ‘all those hypocritical Christians’. I found it sad to hear. Because I kind of know what he meant.

Why did he say this?

Why doesn’t the radical Gospel we read of in the Bible produce radical, committed Christians who not only talk the talk but walk the walk?

Hopes and Dreams

Simon Guillebaud is a missionary from Burundi, Central Africa, and he recently spoke in Canterbury. And he said something that really struck me. It went something like this:

‘People in your street, in your workplace, in your friendship group have hopes and dreams. They mark these by the way they dress, what they spend their money on and how they spend their time. Christian - when you look the same as them – when you have the same house, same car, same clothes, same holidays, same topics of conversation – they assume that you share their hopes and dreams. They assume you are ‘one of them’.

And of course he is right. Many of us, me included, often desperately try not to stand out from the crowd.
Because it attracts attention. It attracts criticism. I might be seen as being too keen, or that I am judging others by trying to be better than them.

And yet it must be true in our ever increasingly secular culture that if we believe the Word of God and put it into practice, that is, if our hope is that our home is not in this world but above, that our riches are not on this earth but in heaven, that our approval comes from God and not from man –then we WILL look different.

Very different.

My inspiration

I know a Christian leader who has had the jobs and social standing to obtain all the ingredients for a successful life – the detached home, new 3 piece suite, impressive wardrobe, plasma screen, new car, nice holidays etc. And I’ve heard him preach numerous times. I confess I can remember little, but I do remember that he preaches about giving sacrificially – giving until it hurts.

And you know what, his life choices just scream agreement with what he believes. His house is far from luxurious. It is clear he must give a huge proportion of his income away. He doesn’t mention any of this, I’ve happened to see it. His walking the walk is the most POWERFUL message his life speaks to me. Because I know he is living a costly life. Money has not corrupted him. Societal pressure has not moulded him. Contempt from his peers has not daunted him.

And so when he speaks, I listen.

Because I know he believes it.

Do you inspire others?

Can you say the same? Or are you syncretistic and mix Christianity with materialism as much as the archetypal African tribal person mixes faith with ancestor worship?

Are you making committed, sacrificial, passionate disciples of Jesus?

Can your kids see that you really believe the gospel or do they see it as a nice add-on which gives a sense of security and a nice group of friends?

Are you ready for the cost? In the UK it is often social - it might mean uncomfortable pauses – ‘Oh, so you live there’…! Your holidays might not be as exciting; your home furnishings might not fit with your social standing; you may feel like an alien and a stranger whose home is not on this earth (hold on a minute….!).

The Facebook mirror

So if you confess to be a Christian – look at your Facebook posts over the last month. Look at your Tweets. Recall your workplace conversations. Look at your bank statement.

And be honest with yourself.

Does it match up with what who I say I am? Does your life demonstrate what you hope for? Does it provoke questions?

Because if it doesn’t, then something has gone terribly wrong. Jesus died to give us life. The most exciting, fruitful life comes from following Him wholeheartedly, unreservedly, putting your trust not in security that this world offers but in Christ.

If your security comes from these other things, in particular the approval of man, then no wonder you feel your Christian life is boring, lifeless and lacking reality.

Our example

Let me say that I need help in this area. Lots of it.

So let’s ask God to help us.

To forgive us for being hypocritical Christians. For saying our hope is in Christ but living as if our hope was the same as everyone else’s.

To follow the example of Christ who “For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God” (Hebrew 12:2).

And let’s ask Him to help us step out in faith and show with our words and energy and money and time and attitude that we are in a new community, a new Kingdom, a new reality where wholehearted discipleship replaces lukewarm apathy.

And then let’s enjoy the blessings that God promises for those who give their all to follow him.

What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things”. Phil 3:8

Chris Froome's Biblical Secret to Success

2014-07-05T11:01:00.000+01:00

After imperiously winning the Tour de France last year, I along with many others have wondered just how Chris Froome did it. Deep down we’re all desperately hoping he’s not another Lance Armstrong!

And so with this year’s TDF coming around again I recently read Froome’s autobiography to try and find out just how he did it.

Overall it is an entertaining read and a great insight into the life of a professional cyclist. But for me, this paragraph seemed to stick out a mile:

‘…back in Nairobi I joined old friends…for parties and nights out. Being teenagers, and fairly affluent, my friends were drinking and smoking joints. I mentioned the nights out to Kinjah (his cycling mentor) and he was not at all impressed. I was surprised at how strict and stern he was with me. That was not the way to go, he said. It definitely made an impact with me. I realised I couldn’t live fully in both worlds. I would have to choose. Being a good sufferer on the bike, the choice was easy (p51)’.

Later on he describes his training rides whilst at boarding school in South Africa; every day he snuck out at 5am into the freezing cold to do a 3 hour training ride with his mate Matt. Yes - every day of the week!

‘As we ride, the air pushes against us and bumps us about. My lips are cracked from the cold…it’s like being dipped in frost. I shiver and shudder down the slope of long dark hills. It’s love though. Every ache and chill. Me and my Colnago and these hills. In love, everybody hurts. If you are serious about bikes and hills, it hurts (p58)’.

This discipline, this single-mindedness is phenomenal. Froome understands that to succeed in this relationship with his bike it requires his all. It means suffering. It means sacrifice. It means discipline.

But as he says later:

‘I found that from the pain came satisfaction, from the suffering, joy’ (p61).

What a challenge that is! Froome is in love with the suffering on his training rides. And he says that the joy of a stage win, and ultimately his glorious Tour de France win, makes it all worthwhile.

In fact, his writing could almost be taken from the Bible:

‘More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope…’ (Romans 5:3-4)

This almost-religious language that Froome uses got me thinking.

Can I say the same about my relationship with Jesus?

Will I single-mindedly set aside my comfort and distractions (both unhealthy and healthy) to pursue him?
Even if it means early mornings?
Even if it hurts?
Even if it means sacrifice?

There’s something inside us, and I believe it is God-given, that knows that real joy comes through sacrifice, endurance and suffering.

That is the Gospel.

That is the call to each who trusts in Christ.
There is no easy ride...that is not how God has designed it.

And yet I find myself looking for the easy ride.

I look to side-step the training.
Because it’s hard.
Because it hurts.
Because it’s costly.
Because choosing to live fully in God’s will comes at a price.
Because unlike Froome, I don’t suffer easily.

And yet the joy of finishing this race will mean it is all worthwhile. We find the ultimate inspiration, the guarantee of a glorious finish, by looking at Jesus himself:

‘Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us,fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God’. (Hebrews 12:1-2)

At the end of my earthly race, which has a prize far greater than the Yellow Jersey, I hope that I will be able to say with the apostle Paul:

“I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith” (2 Timothy 4:7)

Dear Grandad and Grandma…I’m not coming to your party…and it’s all your fault

2014-06-20T10:42:00.002+01:00

Dear Grandad and Grandma

So, 60 years of marriage! Congratulations. What a milestone to be celebrating!

I trust you will have a great celebration this weekend surrounded by family and friends. I am sorry I’m not there to celebrate with you. I’m going to be in Burma working with some amazing young Burmese who are being trained to provide medical care to one of the most neglected people groups in the world.

And you know what… it’s all your fault!

Growing up I loved hearing about your time overseas. That you would give up security, comfort and career to live in difficult places to reach the least; and yes, I guess you missed a few family gatherings too!

As I heard about your exploits from Mum and Dad, as I looked at the wooden giraffe you bought back for me when I was just 6, a seed was planted in me which has been growing ever since. A desire to do the same, and if I am even a fraction as faithful and successful then I will be very thankful.

You know, I never knew what the word posterity meant when I read it in the Bible.

Looking at you and your family, I now understand.

5 children, 13 grandchildren, and so far 5 great-grandchildren!

And yet, your posterity goes far beyond that; that your influence in the lives of each of us goes well beyond us into our workplaces and friendships. It infuses our lives; it affects the way we teach our children. It spreads throughout our country, north and south.

And now I’m seeing how it spreads beyond our borders to impact people all over the world, from Scotland to Burma to New Zealand and in the future to countless places and more importantly, countless lives.

So Grandad and Grandma, this weekend I am thankful for your prayers, I am grateful for your example; and I thank God for you being in my life.

Have a great party!

Every blessing

John

photo credit: Shutterstock

John's Burma Medic Training Trip

2014-06-17T09:46:00.001+01:00

This week I’m off to the Thai-Burmese border as one of a team of 32 medics who are heading out to a refugee camp to train 25 'medics'. I’ll be teaching on the ‘Paediatric Week’. These students will return as community healthcare workers to 32 Karen medical clinics in the mountains to treat the 400,000 internally displaced Karen who have been terrorized by the Military Junta for decades.

Burma has the 24th highest population in the world, just a bit lower than the UK. Despite this, there is a high mortality rate, with many deaths from malaria, AIDS, typhoid and diarrhoea. Nearly 40% of this people group are children!

As change comes to Burma, the exiled and displaced groups – refugees, migrants and political activists – will need skills to help rebuild the country and achieve a lasting, sustainable peace. The skills needed to bring about this change are the main priority of HOPE 4 the World, the organisation I am travelling with.

We are all self-funded, but we are raising £10,000 towards the training course, which costs £583 per student, (£3 20 pence /day) for all transport, accommodation and food!

Will you consider giving financially to invest in these young people who will go out with skills to help bring sustainable medical care to this neglected people group? If so, please visit my Justgiving page HERE.

Thank you

5 (Obscure) Ways To Disciple Young Children

2014-05-27T00:28:00.000+01:00

There’s loads of parenting advice flying around the internet. Most, like in THIS article, is very helpful.

But so often it seems certain bits of advice are missing. That might be because I’m way off the mark, but I’ve personally found these 5 bits of advice, whilst a bit obscure, helpful, so I thought I’d share them with you:

1. Watch TV with them

It can be so easy to let the kids watch TV whilst I get a bit of a lie in, or make the dinner, or catch up on Facebook. The problem is, you don’t always know what they are watching. Watching Frozen the other day was interesting – why do the girls have tiny waists and huge eyes? What is this magical curse that Elsa can’t control?

Watching with kids is a great way of both seeing what they are watching, but also talking with them about it. Leaving them to watch alone when we don’t know what’s on means we leave our kids to the worldview and even mercy of programmers and filmmakers – and why would I trust them an inch?

2. Sponsor a child

We have started to sponsor a little girl from a war-torn African country who is the same age as my daughter. As well as really helping this girl, it is just a great way to teach our kids. It makes poverty personal. It exposes my kids to need. We plan to eat like she does at least once a month to empathise more with her. We can write to her – the kids love it!

Most of all it opens my kids eyes to what God is doing in the world and shows that, just like with throwing those starfish back in the sea, they can make a difference. You can sponsor a child at http://www.micahscall.org.uk/sponsor or http://www.compassionuk.org/.

3. Do daily devotions with them

Kids are influenced by our culture every minute of every day. Fine; but rather than moan and be passive, we can actively do something about it. So why not soak them in the Bible while they’re your kids in your house? In other religions a high value is placed on gathering around a holy book and explaining teachings. The Bible commands us parents in Deuteronomy 6:7 to teach God’s law to our children diligently. How many of us actually do this?

Most parents seem to take the view that sitting children down for 5 minutes is too much to expect. Well, as someone who works in child development I can tell in the vast majority of cases it isn’t. With some persistent training, even a 1 year old is perfectly capable of this discipline after only a few days.

There are lots of age-appropriate resources out there to help make it short, fun and beneficial (see below). Establishing a family routine helps, be it after dinner or after breakfast – whenever suits you best.

You don’t have to do it at a table. ‘Devotions’ can be done throughout the day, interpreting life as you experience it and discussing topics as they come up and applying biblical truth to them.

4. Worship with them

Get your little ones used to singing/praising with you - both at home and at church. Let them know that you worship as a family. From an early age, hold them as you sing at church. Children are developmentally capable of managing 10-20 minutes of being held or standing next to you in church as you sing. Have high expectations of them and they will rise to them.

Allowing them to run off or play with toys says that what is going on isn’t for them; it says to them that they need to be entertained whilst adults get on with their business.

However child unfriendly your service is, let me encourage you, engage your children in worship. Bring instruments. Ask the service leaders to consider the age demographics of the church rather than hoping the kids will keep quiet and let the adults get on with ‘serious’ worship.

5. Read something

Making time to read something, however brief, can be that pick-me-up when things are really tough. There's some great resources out there. Here's a summary of just a few:

For parents

Gospel-centred Family – Moll and Chester – well worth working through these short chapters

You can download these short e-books HERE which are GOLD

Family Worship by Joel Beeke

Devotions

Beginning with God and The Beginners Bible – fun 5 minute devotions with stickers! Great for age 1-5.

Table Talk – very similar but for slightly older children

Long Story Short – brilliant resource for a daily family devotion

The Jesus Storybook Bible – we’ve only just starting using this and wish we’d started sooner. An amazing way of reading the Bible to your kids.

Memorisation

Some good resources HERE and HERE

Some good articles:

Family Worship 101

10 Surefire Ways to Make Your Kids Hate Family Devotions

A Quick Guide to Family Worship

Teaching Children the Bible

What about you? Anything to add to the above or to the resource list? Have you found any of these resources helpful?

Is 11am Sunday the most segregated hour of your week?

2014-05-04T11:49:00.000+01:00

Who goes to your church?

No, not just names.

What are they like?

Are they white or black?

Middle or working class?
Do they all like a formal or informal service?
Are they all ‘educated’?
Are they hands up, hands out or hands down?

And so on...

You may well baulk at the distinctions I’ve just drawn.

The question remains however – is your time at church the most culturally segregated time of your week?

Multicultural society

We live in a multicultural society. Many of you will work and study with people from all over the world. Your neighbours may be Eastern European. Your work colleague may be Asian. Your Badminton partner may be South American. We are used to living alongside and often counting as friends people from different cultures, with different religions and different tastes and preferences.

Monocultural church

But so often churches can be monocultural. So I may visit a ‘black African’ church. Or I may visit a strict Baptist (aka in my experience white middle class central). Or even a ‘youth church’. And I confess, I feel uncomfortable about this. Perhaps in part because I feel uncomfortable in churches where people are so different to me. The thought of mixing it up seems, well, just a bit radical…

The diverse church

Galatians 3:28 says: There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is no male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus”.

And in heaven the church is described as being ‘from every tribe and language and people and nation (Revelation 5:9).

A diverse church presents this as a present-yet-future reality.
A diverse church shows the world that Jesus is not a tribal God but Lord of all nations and ethnicities.
A diverse church is evidence of Christ’s power on the cross to “reconcile us both to God in one body through the cross, thereby killing the hostility” (Eph. 2:16).

Stop segregating

And so God’s church is not supposed to be segregated. Granted, we will naturally drift towards those like ourselves. In some ways I believe God means for the Global Church to have different local expressions. This is not in and of itself wrong.

But what if? What if we saw an end to black and white churches? What if we saw an end to churches defined by cultural preference and instead we are defined by our belief in the Gospel?

What a magnificent picture people of different cultures, preferences, personalities, all united under the gospel presents to the world.

So let me ask:

Will you desire to demonstrate the Gospel in your church by pursuing cultural diversity?

Will you abandon many of your secondary preferences for a greater goal?

Will you stop being comfortable with people who are just like yourself and see that church is not for you or for us, but for Him and for a needy world?

Will your Sunday service be the most culturally segregated of your week?

Thanks for reading.
Any thoughts? Am I way off the mark with this?

Mummy Pig or Homer Simpson: Are You a Passive or Aggressive Parent?

2014-05-02T09:32:00.001+01:00

Passive parenting

‘I’m literally James’ taxi service’

‘I’m out every night with kids at one club or another’
‘If Rachel doesn’t like her food, I’ll often let her eat mine’

Passive parents act as if their child’s needs matter, but their needs don’t.

It can seem really kind and loving. Often these are parents who you look at and just wish you were more like them.

So what’s the problem?

We communicate to our kids that we don’t respect ourselves.

What we are saying is: ‘My own needs are not important to me, but my child’s needs are always predominant’

So why would the children value what their parent needs? And how will they learn to grow up considering other people’s needs around them?

Society is full of children bought up in supposedly respectable law-abiding families who doesn’t give a monkeys about the impact of their actions on others.

And they have learnt this primarily in their own homes, where well-intentioned ‘nice’ parents have, by being a passive parent, produced children who cannot appreciate let alone care about the needs of others.

Aggressive parenting

‘Shut up Peter, you’re giving me a headache’

‘I don’t care if your leg hurts, just get on with it’
‘I’m too tired to play with you Stephen, just leave me alone’

Aggressive parents acts as if their needs matter, but their child’s needs don’t.

These parents are often seen as the ‘disciplinarians’.

We may even admire these parents for their meek children, for the order in their house or their exemplary table manners.

But in these families kids need to keep a safe distance from them or something is going to blow. One step out of line and the child gets zapped.

What’s the problem?

We communicate to our kids that we don't respect others.

What these parents are saying is: ‘My own needs are of primary importance and will almost always come above that of my child. It may be the type of food we eat, the time we go to bed or the fact that they get the brunt of my bad mood at the end of the day’.

Children with these parents learn that if someone comes along who is bigger and louder and more powerful than they are, then they will lose.

These children need to know that their needs do matter, because otherwise they will learn that when they can dominate someone else (i.e. who is smaller and quieter and less powerful than they are), then they will win.

Dog eat dog.

Look after number 1.

And so the cycle repeats.

Nice company

So where’s the balance?

How do you teach kids these seemingly contradictory truths?

Well, post after post and book after book have attempted to answer that question. Perhaps the best advice I've seen is to simply recognise which extreme you tend towards.

But here’s one idea.

'Be nice company'

If your child kicks off at family mealtime, rather than leaving the table to sit with them, or having a shouting match before they go to their room, control can be given to that child to take responsibility for his or her own behaviour.

You might say something like this: ‘I’m sorry to see you are upset. If you’re going to be nice company you are welcome to stay at this table and eat with us, but if you’re not going to be nice company you need to go to your room as your screaming is hurting mummy’s ears’.

In this way the child is given a clear choice, and they learn to take control of their actions.

Their needs are acknowledged as they are sympathised with and are not shouted at

They have the option to express their anger and frustration in their rooms.

They are taught that their actions and reactions impact other people.

They thus learn to set limits on their relationships and to respect others

What do you think? Do you agree? Are there other ways you have come across to avoid the above extremes?

My Brother's Getting Married In the Morning

2014-04-25T00:01:00.002+01:00

30 years ago I proudly became an older brother.

And after years of making dens, making each other laugh, camping together, sharing rooms, annoying each other…he’s about to get married to a wonderful woman!

So what do you say when someone who you have shared so much with, who you respect and admire, is about to get married?

Here are 3 things I want to say to my brother:

1) Don’t stop celebrating

Tomorrow will be amazing. I can’t wait. But bro, some people will say things like ‘You’ll never have a day life it’ or ‘this will be the best day of your life’. Let me encourage you – it gets even better. Celebrate waking up in the same bed as each other. Celebrate kissing her when you get home from work. Celebrate holding her hand 10 years down the line. Celebrate birthdays, family, food, job promotions, children and life itself. As 1 Corinthians 10:31 says: ‘So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God’.

2) Keep date night sacred

As time goes on, you will be tempted to prioritise others above yourself and above your wife. It might be ‘me time’. Or good things, like helping others. But bro, let me encourage you - make your first priority to spend time with your wife. To have fun. To dress up. To share your heart. To study her. To identify her love languages and then speak them to her.

Love her, even when it hurts. Pray for her daily; read the Bible with her; encourage her. And as you do this, you will present your wife spotless before Christ. This is your task and you’ve chosen to accept it.

3) Teach others

I am constantly amazed at what God gave us as kids. Godly parents, opportunities, great experiences, Playstation 1 games, and times when you would laugh and laugh and laugh…at really random things! And bro, God has massively gifted you. Your heart for the poor beats strong. I admire your work with poor and oppressed children. You have vision to change the world for good.

Just by living you are a model to many. And now your opportunities are multiplied. As you have freely received, I pray that you would freely continue to give. Show people what it means to lay down your life for your wife. Serve together, minister together, and as you do so demonstrate to others the meaning of your marriage – a picture of Christ and the church.

So bro – congratulations! I love you. You are embarking on a journey of greater complexity and stress than ever before, and yet of great joy and reward too.

I look forward to being there with you and for you along the way.

I Wish I Was Mark Driscoll

2014-04-04T14:20:00.002+01:00

I wish I was someone else.

I wish I could speak, or write.

I wish I could remember all those theological arguments.

I wish I was more hospitable.

I wish I wouldn’t get depressed.

And for me…well…I confess that I wish I was more like Mark Driscoll - great communicator, pastor, leader, has published some books, has 470k Twitter followers (as opposed to my 82!), influential, controversial and so on…

Ever think like that?

Ever look at a Christian who seems to have real purpose? A missionary doctor perhaps? A theologian? A pastor? Someone who works with the homeless most evenings? And so on.

And we wish we were just like them.

But comparisons with ‘someone else’ are dangerous. Why?

1) God made you, you

God could have made you to be born in another era, in another country, to another set of parents, with different gifts.

But he made you, well…you.

Your personality, your experiences, your heart-cry, your gifts, your family, your town, your job. These are not a mistake. God didn’t mess up when he made you; you can’t alter these things.

For example, He didn’t make me a talented communicator living in an American city. Ah ha, I say, but should I move to be a church planter in an American City? Well, it seems not.

And I simply need to ask God to help me believe that.

2) ‘Someone else’ has issues too

Most people we want to be like, we want to be like because they have a great life.

They don’t have to deal with my insecurities, my faults.

They probably get ‘success’ because they are a pretty sorted person.

But that just isn’t true. Lurking beneath the surface of each one of us we have issues. We don’t hear about them in most cases. But believe me, everyone does.

I’m not saying that disobedience doesn’t block opportunities – unfortunately it does. But we all start from the same position.

And were we to ‘make it big’, we wouldn’t necessarily be more satisfied anyway – there’s always someone else further up the chain than you.

3) You are significant

At the heart of our desire to be like someone else is a desire for significance – to be someone more influential, someone with a greater voice in our world.

I struggle with this.

In this corner of England, in Canterbury, I feel incredibly insignificant sometimes.

I want to affect the world! I have energy. I have education. I have the desire. Why am I still here? Why am I not leading a church of 15,000?

The problem is, I am looking to get my significance from achievement. When I am not achieving something I’ve decided I want to achieve (namely changing the world) I feel a real sense of deflation.

I feel insignificant.

I feel a second class citizen in God’s Kingdom.

The root of this of course is pride - a feeling of deep pleasure or satisfaction derived from one's own achievements. And yet the Bible commands us to humility

Philippians 2:3: Don't be selfish; don't try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves.

This is the antidote to pride.

Because I can’t improve on God’s achievements in Jesus. God tells me, that before I do anything, I am significant in his eyes. It isn’t based on my popularity or global reach or numbers in my church.

Nothing I can do will make me any more significant, because Jesus has done it all.

Imitate others…

Examples are great. It is good to aspire to others. It helps us picture what sacrificial service looks like. It helps us see what a Christ-like person is actually like.

So yes, I can learn a lot from Mark Driscoll; I can even imitate him to some degree (and cause some controversy on the way more than likely).

…as they imitate Christ

But this is the key. Any imitation should be because ultimately, I wish I was more like Christ.

And I can leave the details up to Him.

Two ways we confuse identity with activity (and why knowing this will change your life)

2014-03-28T00:36:00.000+00:00

Do you dream of a time when you’ll be REALLY significant?

One day…

I’ll do something really useful for God.

I’ll quit work and go to Bible college.

I’ll help the poor.

I’ll open a home up for women suffering from domestic violence.

One day…

Or do you feel crushed by expectations that you place on yourself or you feel from others to do something REALLY significant in your life?

Perhaps more than being a stay at home mum, or more than doing your 9-5 job, more than…

1. You don’t have to do anything to get God’s approval

Identity comes before activity in the Christian life.

We see this in the Bible.

God affirmed Jesus at his baptism before he had done anything! Not one little miracle. ‘This is my son, with whom I am pleased’.

Once God had affirmed who he was, he then went on and did what he did.

"You aren’t what’s been done to you but what Jesus has done for you.
You aren’t what you do but what Jesus has done.What you do doesn’t determine who you are.
Rather, who you are in Christ determines what you do”.Mark Driscoll

Do you believe that God is pleased with you, not because of what you do, but because of who he has made you to be?

That is the goal of the Christian life.

Not doing, but becoming.

Not striving, but resting.

So keep dreaming…but don’t let it define your identity

Keep working….but don’t feel like you have to live up to your or anyone else’s expectations.

2. Your ministry is not your identity

However for some, you love your work. Things are going well. You may be a pastor, a youth leader, a school teacher, a doctor, a…

And when it’s all going well, life is rosy.

A good day at work and we feel great.

The problem is that we can gain our significance from our achievements. As our achievements mount, our sense of being significant, of changing the world we live in, can grow.

And we can start to feel that we are more accepted by God because of how well we are doing.

And slowly but surely, ministry, work and even family can gradually become our identity.

This is a fundamental error.

And we don’t often see it until we have a crisis. Until our achievement dips, or we are let down by a system, or we lose our job, or we make a mistake.

And our identity takes a hit. This might show itself in

a constant need for reassurance and affirmation

a need for recognition before others

a crisis when you don’t perform or have a tough appraisal

Because when your identity is at stake, these things become an attack on the core of your being.

Let your true identity feed your activity

But if you are a Christian, your identity is in Christ. You are adopted (Ephesians 1:5), Accepted (1:6), Loved (2:4), Exalted (2:6) – just read Ephesians for many, many more.

When you know your true identity, it changes everything.

It means you are significant whatever your achievements may or not be.

It means that your ministry may have ups and downs, but your identity, your value, your significance as a child of God is absolutely unaltered.

I truly believe that believing this is a key that will unlock so much potential and release people to be who they have been made to be.

Because when you know who you really are, you’ll know what to do.

WHEN CHRISTIANS LIE TO EACH OTHER

2014-03-21T23:24:00.001+00:00

‘Loved the sermon’

‘You’re such a great singer’

‘You were born to do children’s work’

‘You want to do cross-cultural mission? That’s amazing!’

My first sermon was an absolute wreck – but it has taken me years to drag it out of someone that that was the case. How I wish they’d told me…

I wonder how many people are going around believing they are a born preacher, or born worship leader, or born sound technician….and all the while people are too scared to tell them the truth?

How many of you have pursued something for years when finally someone has told you that you should do something else?

Why do we lie to each other (and yes, not saying something is just as bad)?

Perhaps it’s because Christians are too ‘nice’

We’re not brought up to be cutthroat. We like to give people opportunities (and rightly so). We want to be encouragers. We take seriously warnings to make sure we live in unity, that we speak in love to one another,

Perhaps it’s because Christians are scared

Scared that we’ll damage someone, that we’ll scar someone for life. This is probably because we haven’t got a relationship with that person which gives us permission to speak into their life.

But you know what I think is the real reason?

We’ve sold out to a church culture rather than scriptural truth. We’ve fallen into a cultural trap where we only say what we really think behind people’s backs. And worst of all, we choose to misinterpret the Bible to support our mistaken view.

But since when does unity mean that we only say nice things to one another?

Since when does speaking in love mean flattery or giving selective feedback? Isn’t love more than making someone feel good about themselves?
Since when does thinking of others as better than myself mean we won’t give ‘negative’ feedback?

What's the result?

MANY people are stuck wondering what they are good at. They are confused about what their gifts are. They have received either mixed messages, or told they are gifted in an area when they perhaps know deep inside they are not.

Deep down people are looking for guidance. And God has put us in community so that we can do this. Not so that we confuse each other more.

I’m convinced we wouldn’t need so many spiritual gift questionnaires if we only tried stuff and were then honest – honest with ourselves, and honest with others.

So how are we to speak truth to one another?

1) Gain permission

Care about that person. Spend some time with them. Get to know them. If the only thing you say to them that week is to cast doubt on their life-long calling you will not gain a favourable response. But when you’ve spent time with them, observed them, shared life with them, encouraged them – then you are in a better position to challenge.

2) When you take something away, put something back in

Feedback should never be ‘negative’. If we feel something has not gone as well as it could, be ready to say what did go well or what other options that person could pursue.

3) Speak the truth in love

If we really love the person we will speak truth to them. But we will do so in love, with their best interests at heart. This will mean we do so. It will not be public, rash, thoughtless or unkind, but in privacy, after due thought, respectfully and gently.

4) Don’t surround yourself with people who say what you want to hear

If everyone you ask for counsel says nice things about you, you probably aren’t asking the right people. Make sure that at least one person in your inner circle is giving you balanced feedback.

They will make you uncomfortable. They will sometimes upset you. But they are invaluable to you.

So as a Christian who believes that God speaks to me through others, please give me constructive feedback. Speak to me carefully and gently. Don’t destroy me.

But please, don’t lie to me.