New Year’s resolutions don’t work.

According to statistics, 62% of Americans set New Year’s resolutions. Only 8% of those resolutions are successfully achieved. Wow! Not very good odds.

Sure we all hope for a better financial position, to lose some extra weight, improve our self, a better relationship, to let go of unhealthy habits such as alcohol, drugs or cigarettes, to exercise more or to eat healthier. Yet we don’t stick with our best intentions, so carefully planted in the fertile ground of the New Year.

resolve: to fix or settle on by deliberate choice and will; determine (to do something).

Maybe that is the problem, we are striving to “fix” something about our self… old habits, things we don’t care for about ourselves. Should’s and have to’s don’t work, they are coming from a place of judgment.

Make this year different.

This year try choosing a theme to integrate into your life. A simple yet powerful, one word theme. Something positive and from the heart. Let it infuse everything you do and think. Look at is as a way to be rather than a thing to do.

This process will transform your life so put some thought into it. Set aside some quite, reflective time for yourself. Make a list of words that resonate with you, your deepest self, values that you would like to expand in your life. These words will have a high vibration to them, expansive and empowering.

peace, gratitude, love, health, simplicity, mindfulness, compassion, serenity, focus, abundance, detoxification, integrity, authenticity, surrender, trust, creativity, inspiration, commitment, growth, flow, service…

A couple questions that may help with the process:

• What is preventing me from “shining my light”?
• What is holding me back from sharing my gifts?
• What do I need to expand in my life to create more joy?
• What will inspire me to the next level?

Explore and add to your list until one word jumps out and grabs you. This is your theme for the year but also know that you can “correct and continue” if you wish any time during the year.

Totally integrate this theme into your life.

Your theme may feel a little uncomfortable, challenging, and something that doesn’t come naturally. Remember, this is a method to create transformation. Don’t settle, create something extraordinary with your life.

Because your theme has been chosen from your heart, it is already in alignment with your authentic self so your intention will help it flow and integrate more smoothly.

Totally immerse yourself and integrate your theme into your life, every aspect of it. Have it be part of your conversations, interactions, actions and thoughts. Let go of any expected outcomes and how it will show up in your life. Any time we create growth and allow transformation, we are in a healing process, releasing what no longer serves us; stories, patterns, habits… We may also face challenges and lessons. This is all part of becoming more whole and authentic. Remember that when your theme appears in an unexpected way. And don’t forget the gratitude for however it shows up.  Maybe love is your theme… a loved one may leave your life… that’s one way to experience a fuller understanding of love.

Your theme is a way to be, not a thing to do.

Post reminders around, create a vision board, read and explore your theme.

Don’t allow any judgment of your self to enter the picture if you “slip up” and act without being present with your theme. Just recognize it and continue on.

What one word is going to change your life?

After careful thought and reflection, my theme for 2012 is mindfulness. I will strive to be more present in everything I do. By putting mindfulness into practice, many things in my life that I wish to change should do so naturally. If I’m mindful during eating, I will eat healthier. If I’m mindful during writing, I will stay focused. To get me on track I started reading How to Train a Wild Elephant: And Other Adventures in Mindfulness. This book contains 53 chapters of simple mindful exercises to practice one per week for a year. This week I’ve been using my left hand for some writing. Talk about the need to be focused and in the present!

Leave a comment and let me know what one word is going to change your life.

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This is a guest post by Andrew Cort.

In more primitive cultures, a sacred ‘presence’ was part of one’s normal experience. The gods of Homer’s Greece, for example, were part of everyone’s daily life. The sharp difference that we ascribe to secular matters and sacred matters would make no sense to a Shaman. In the Garden of Eden, God walked about and spoke to the inhabitants. He spoke with Abraham and Moses. He sent His messenger to speak to Mary, and then sent His own son into the world. In these times and cultures, people were immersed in the sacred, and felt a direct participation with higher levels of existence. “During the last three or four centuries, however,” notes Douglas Sloan, “this participatory awareness of a meaningful world has dimmed almost to the point of extinction.”

At the same time, something very positive has emerged in its place: the modern development and strengthening of individual selfhood. We experience the self’s relationship to the world in a very different way than did our ancestors. We have a far greater sense of personal identity, separate from others and detached from nature. We demand and expect personal freedom and full opportunity for personal achievement.

But modern individuals in a scientific and technological world are no longer sustained by a living and sacred world. We find ourselves grounded instead in the ‘onlooker’ viewpoint of science, in which we analyze nature and find ways to make her do our bidding. And we endure the psychological consequences of holding to this position — alienation, fragmentation, loss of meaning.

Must this be the inevitable outcome of the modern experiment in individualization? Is the apex of this endeavor merely the bleak realization that the individual is alone in a senseless, violent and absurd universe? Or is it possible to remain a free and rational ‘self’, and still be connected to a living web of mutuality and authentic spiritual meaning?

What do you think? Can we unite material life with spiritual life, in such a way that neither domain overwhelms or erodes the other?

Andrew Cort is an author, teacher, attorney, and doctor of chiropractic. His writings encompass Spirituality, Interfaith Religion, Science, Mythology, Education, Healing, and how these all fit together with contemporary culture. His most recent book is SYMBOLS, MEANING, AND THE SACRED QUEST: Spiritual Awakening in Jewish, Christian and Islamic Stories . Visit Andrew and contact him at www.Spirituality-and-Religion.com.

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“Nothing before, nothing behind; the steps of faith fall on the seeming void and find the rock beneath” ~John Greenleaf Whittier

There is a space. A space left vacant when we change, change any part of our self. It won’t stay empty for long, as this is the portal through which the new arrives. So much is changing now, individually and collectively. We are on the threshold of what some are referring to as The New World. When we change collectively, change occurs exponentially, faster. Time gives the appearance of speeding up. Once change is initiated, either consciously or not, there is no stopping it. Energy has been put into motion.

After change, there is a period of settling in, percolating, integrating the shift in energy, much like water that has been stirred up. Beliefs and ideals that were once held as truths are being questioned and released. What no longer works or is not in alignment with who we are is being left behind. Many lives are being simplified and minimalized. A sense of lightness, wholeness, authenticity fills our being. Which brings us to the void, the space ready to be filled with the new. The more change, the bigger the void. Feelings of uncertainty, loss of direction, lack of motivation and maybe even overwhelm. Just as trees release their leaves in the fall and stand barren throughout the winter, we should use this time to rest and regroup before moving forward. Grounding, drawing our energies into building a solid foundation, like roots. When the time is right, doors will open, synchronicities and messages will guide and life will flow again.

“When you have come to the edge of all the light you have and step into the darkness of the unknown believe that one of the two will happen to you, either you’ll find something solid to stand on or you’ll be taught how to fly!” ~Richard Bach

Related Posts

• The Flow of Life
• Today I Pulled the Death Card
• How to Make the Most of the Time Between
• Change is Inevitable
• The Space Without

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Nature is amazing. One thing I have learned is that we can always go to Nature for answers and guidance. Being still and present in Nature allows inspiration to flow. Nature is healing. This is the basis of ecopsychology.

This summer I was told, “You just don’t get it.” The conversation was left at that. For the life of me I couldn’t figure out how this statement fit in with what we were talking about. But it stuck to me like an unpleasant thorn.

I wanted an answer, “What was “IT” that I didn’t get?”

While pruning a beautiful, lime green gold thread cypress into a ball shape at one of my landscaping jobs, I got my answer. I stood back and looked at this pruned shrub and realized I tamed it, forced it to “fit in”. Its beauty and spirit where changed.

“As soon as we attempt to label or define (change or control) something, we take away from the beauty and mystery that first attracted us.”

I received a text back… “You got it!!!”

This message can apply to all facets of our lives, especially to relationships and friendships. What about just appreciating the moment? Letting life be as it is. Enjoying the unfolding.

I find that many “messages” we receive from the Universe are something we already know but just need a reminder on. Or something we “know” but we haven’t experienced consciously, it isn’t our personal truth yet.

Can you recall something you “knew” but it didn’t really become ingrained in you as a personal truth until an experience made it real?

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The Art of Mindful Listening

“The first duty of love is to listen.” ~Paul Tillich

“Deep listening is miraculous for both listener and speaker. When someone receives us with open-hearted, non-judging, intensely interested listening, our spirits expand.” ~Sue Patton Thoele

Active listening is a vital skill that should be developed through practice. Most of us do not give our full attention when we are listening but are planning on what to say next or we are judging or evaluating what is being said. It is easy to be pulled into our own thoughts and lose our connection with what is actually being said or conveyed by the person speaking.

Due to all the developments in technology (internet, email, text, cell phones, media, etc.), our minds have become overstimulated. Boredom comes very easily and quickly. Our minds are have become programmed to multitask, leaving us without the ability to give full attention to anything we do. Because of human nature, we also try to control our experiences instead of just letting them flow.

To fully connect with someone, it is important to also observe their body language and to feel the emotions behind the words. If we become distracted by our own thoughts during a conversation, we are missing the subtle signs that convey the true meaning of what is being said. Be present to just listen. Don’t analyze or judge what is being said in order to offer advice but instead listen deeply and indicate that you heard. Or ask questions to take it to an even deeper level.

Following these 3 steps will help you become a more mindful listener and deepen your experiences with others:

1. Pause and take a breath before starting a conversation to create space for inner attention and promote a more relaxed state.
2. Deepen your attention.
3. Listen. Be with the experience. When we listen deeply, we become connected.

As I heard on a Zencast podcast, allow yourself to be a sacred presence.

“To listen fully means to pay close attention to what is being said beneath the words. You listen not only to the ‘music,’ but to the essence of the person speaking. You listen not only for what someone knows, but for what he or she is. Ears operate at the speed of sound, which is far slower than the speed of light the eyes take in. Generative listening is the art of developing deeper silences in yourself, so you can slow our mind’s hearing to your ears’ natural speed, and hear beneath the words to their meaning.” ~Peter Senge

Active listening is healing for the person speaking. It provides a space to openly share their inner self. Spoken words create ownership of thoughts or feelings, a validation.

Wouldn’t you like to know that when you are speaking, you are being felt on a deeper level? Take the time to concentrate and focus. Go deep, feel what is being said between the words. Be available to life.

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I’ve been at a crossroads of sorts. I haven’t been putting much effort into my blog or writing lately. It’s an easy place to find yourself. There are so many of us out there, saying the same thing, some more eloquently than others. And creeping in are the thoughts of,  “Why bother?” And that little devil on the shoulder that says, “They are better than you, what are you doing?”

We are all here living the same experiences. It’s a matter of perception and depth of experience that separate us. I read lots of personal/spiritual growth blogs and articles. They all say the same thing but some I really resonate with. What is that connection? Is it worded just right? Is the time right that I’m finally ready to hear the message? Is the writer more transparent so I feel a deeper connection? Integrity?

I have come to realize I don’t need to be perfect, only to reach for the best that I can offer. This issue has been a stumbling block for me. If it can’t be perfect; better than anyone else, I’m not going to bother (that’s a Virgo trait). I also realized that with this attitude I am not sharing my gift; my passion, or being true to myself. But more important, I’m not expressing myself in a way that might just “click” with someone, someone that resonates with my words.

We are all water drops in the ocean of life. Each one of us is part of the whole.

There wouldn’t be an ocean (or lake, river, tears, rain) if each drop withheld sharing and merging.

Please visit Live Your Legend. Scott’s writing inspired me to move past the crossroads.

Share your thoughts as a comment below.

Once upon a time there lived a little girl, a princess actually, named Alexandrea, or Alex as who she was known as. Alex was a free spirit, not wild, just herself. Her mother and father, the Queen and King, were very busy people. Attentive, kind of, but preoccupied. Affection and love didn’t seem to flow easily. The King, not really demanding, more expecting, expected a lot from Alex. “Daddy’s little girl.”

Well Alex, being free spirited, had trouble conforming to others expectations of her, even the King’s. She would wander off to the edges of the forest surrounding the castle and lose herself in the natural world, her own magical world. Hearing and knowing. And losing all concept of time. Harsh penalties had to be paid; a more dutiful lady servant to watch over her and see to it that Alex grew up a princess. For not doing anything wrong. She never understood the punishment for being true to herself. The Queen didn’t seem to play much of a big part, more an attitude of “we’ll let the King handle this.” But Alex loved her magical world, lost in nature. Trapped inside, her spirit weakened.

And time passed. Alex grew older. Strong dreams developed. The King and Queen were quick to shut them down, they had other plans for her. The princess was headstrong and rebelled when her strongest dream was denied, so she married the enemy.

Alex fell under the spell of the other world, the dark side. Lost in the whirlwind, she lost touch with herself. Powerless. Controlled. Again. This time by outside forces. Her connection with the magical, lost. Dragons appeared in all forms. Dark spirits. Lost in the turmoil for years. Until the day she broke free.

The princess reconnected with her magical world. The place that always provided peace and knowledge. One day while sitting with Nature, Merlin approached and offered his assistance. “Stay true to yourself and I will provide everything you need in life.” The beautiful princess realized she didn’t need validation from anyone else, that she really was proud of who she was, that she was not only loveable but love itself. Merlin’s energy guided her and she felt safe and secure knowing that she would always be provided for as long as she stayed true to herself. Merlin taught her to co-create with the energy, to surrender. And she played in the energy for some time, becoming whole again, regaining all of herself that she had given away. She let love flow through her and everything she touched. She learned that she is love and that love connects us all. She recognized the sacredness and unity of all. She glowed with love. And that’s when he saw her.

And they lived happily ever after, and more so.

The End.

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“Real love is not an escape from loneliness, the real love is an overflowing aloneness. One is so happy in being alone that one would like to share — happiness always wants to share. It is too much, it cannot be contained; like the flower cannot contain its fragrance, it has to be released.” Osho

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The Butterfly

by Nikos Kazantzakis

I remember one morning when I discovered a cocoon in the back of a tree just as a butterfly was making a hole in its case and preparing to come out. I waited awhile, but it was too long appearing and I was impatient. I bent over it and breathed on it to warm it. I warmed it as quickly as I could and the miracle began to happen before my eyes, faster than life. The case opened; the butterfly started slowly crawling out, and I shall never forget my horror when I saw how its wings were folded back and crumpled; the wretched butterfly tried with its whole trembling body to unfold them. Bending over it, I tried to help it with my breath, in vain.

It needed to be hatched out patiently and the unfolding of the wings should be a gradual process in the sun. Now it was too late. My breath had forced the butterfly to appear all crumpled, before its time. It struggled desperately and, a few seconds later, died in the palm of my hand.

That little body is, I do believe, the greatest weight I have on my conscience. For I realize today that it is a mortal sin to violate the great laws of nature. We should not hurry, we should not be impatient, but we should confidently obey the eternal rhythm.

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“Those who dwell among the beauties and mysteries of the earth are never alone or weary of life.” ~Rachel Carson

I spent a lot of my time as a child mesmerized by the ways of water. Wandering a little way from our house in New Hampshire, I would find myself immersed in another world. The natural world. Walking into the woods, the mysterious shroud of the wild held me captivated for hours. A magical place teaming with life, sounds and smells. Crouching down to observe the little kingdoms of moss. If observed close enough, this moss was like a miniature forest with variations and species I’m sure were only visible to the innocence and mindfulness of a child’s vision.

“The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious.” ~Albert Einstein

There was a small brook; in retrospect it may only have existed after the spring thaws or summer downpours. I was always fascinated with the branches and dead trees that had fallen across and into the water, slowing the water enough so that leaves would get caught and pile up, creating a dam and restricting the flow. Or, the way water flowed around the moss covered rocks, creating small eddies on the backsides.

It’s still a vivid memory, the way the water changed when I removed the obstructing branch. First the leaves would get carried away, the water would turn real murky as the new flow of water stirred up the accumulated debris and sediment, clear water gradually mixing in and washing the stagnancy away. The settled muck disbursed into the water, exposing the hidden sandy bottom. Crystal clear water flowing once more.

So is life. Unhealed emotions are held within the body, some tightly. This tension creates restrictions in the energy flowing through the body. A state of dis-ease develops. The area of stress and tension also restricts the blood, oxygen, nutrients and release of toxins from the organs and glands located there. The health of the body becomes compromised. When the body is relaxed, healing on all levels is able to take place.This is similar to removing the restrictive branches from the flow of water. A period of disruption occurs before a full and clear flow of water can happen. It can appear as though things are worse than they were. Believing this can hinder or stop the healing process. Fear creates tension again. Where in reality, the hardest part is over. The first step was taken, so relax and let the new flow wash away the old. Healing is a process, not an event.

“The underlying attraction of the movement of water and sand is biological. If we look more deeply we can see it as the basis of an abstract idea linking ourselves with the limitless mechanics of the universe.” ~ Sir Geoffrey Jellicoe

It’s ironic to note that I am still playing with the flow, only now as a Reiki practitioner. These times are deeply ingrained in my memory and integral to who I am yet my parents don’t know what I am talking about.  Did I fall down a rabbit hole like Alice? Step into a parallel universe at the property line? Or is it that we create our own magic and perception of the world? We do not forget what is important to the heart and soul.

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“Those who dwell among the beauties and mysteries of the earth are never alone or weary of life.” Rachel Carson“Those who dwell among the beauties and mysteries of the earth are never alone or weary of life.” ~Rachel Carson