The tenth anniversary of  the 9/11 attacks is being observed throughout the US, and the various news agencies have been rehashing every possible angle. As with highly traumatic national events, most people can vividly recall where they were and what they were doing when they heard of the attacks.

I recently finished reading “What Alice Forgot” by Liane Moriarty: “A knock on the head has misplaced ten years of her life, and Alice isn’t sure she likes who she’s become. It turns out, though, that forgetting might be the most memorable thing that has ever happened to Alice.”

Reading about 9/11 and Alice had me thinking about my life. Where was I ten years ago? Where am I now? Are there things I want to change? What advice would I give to my younger self? My older self?

While there are many things I might say to either, I think the advice I’d give to both selves is: “Remember the power of small steps, written goals and friends.”

Even the most enormous task can be broken down into bite-sized pieces and conquered one tiny bit at a time. That’s where written goals come in handy. Take the time to exam a project and figure out what needs to be done to accomplish it; write down those steps as your goals.

Written goals will help you stay on track. Regularly reviewing where you are in relation to where you want to be will alert you to potential problems. When you get stuck (it happens), it will be easier to see how to resolve the issue and move on to the next step instead of spinning deeper into the muck of despair or “progressing” in the wrong direction.

If you want to meet your goals, carefully choose your friends:  “Tell me the company you keep, and I’ll tell you what you are.” – French, Spanish, English, Dutch proverb
The people you spend the most time with will have an impact on whether you move toward or away from your goals. A friend who helps you review, revise and reach your goals is priceless; treasure them.

What has happened to you during the past ten years? If you could go back in time, what advice would you give your younger self? What do you think your self of ten years ago would think about you today?

Last week I had a couple of interesting encounters with a spider.

The first time we met was on Tuesday morning. While driving to work, I glanced to my left before turning onto a major street and found myself face to face with a spider. Not exactly what I was expecting, but not a terrifying “Arachnophobia” event either.

The spider must have spent the evening spinning a web from the top to the bottom of the driver’s side rear view mirror. Now the spider and its web were floating past my open window. I planned to deposit the spider in a safe location as soon as I could make my way out of the flow of traffic. When the time came, she had disappeared, never to be seen again, or so I thought.

As I drove to work on Wednesday morning, the spider came to mind and I wondered where she and her new web were. After arriving at work, I turned toward the back seat to grab my tote bag and discovered where she had spent the night. There was a beautiful web neatly spun between the headrests of the seats!

Since I did not want to leave her to roast in Florida heat, I gently picked up her and her web and deposited them on a nearby shrub in the shade of an oak tree. I’m hoping she lives happily ever after.

So, what did I learn from this spider?

Spiders have been long admired for their tenacity, skill and beautiful creations, and this spider certainly fit those descriptions. She was tenacious and skillful and produced beautiful work, but she was in a poor location. I like my Element a lot, but it’s not a good spot for a spider to build a web. The spider and web will be subjected to very high winds and extreme temperatures, and when the windows are closed (most of the time), bugs
are scarce.

How many times have I tried to utilize perfectly good skills and talents in the wrong location? Do I want to be like the itsy bitsy spider, constantly rebuilding my perfectly lovely web because it’s not where it really belongs, or do I want to position myself where my efforts are amply rewarded?

Has this ever happened to you? What did you do?

There are numerous ways to remove what’s left of them after they collide with your vehicle, but it’s almost impossible to avoid them.

When you come upon an especially heavy swarm of the bugs, it sort of looks like a black snow flurry – until the impact. Then you end up with a windshield covered with what’s left of them.

If you ever try to clean the mess with windshield wipers, you quickly realize you’ve got a much bigger problem – instead of the clear view you hoped for, you are now looking through a haze of bug remains. Using washer fluid only compounds the smeared goo streaked across your field of vision. A quick stop at a car wash or gas station may be your only recourse.

How many times do you come across situations and people that bug you? How do you deal with it? Do you try to avoid them, only to find yourself covered in the spatter of a bad experience?

Take some time to see if there’s a pattern to the things that bug you. A small change on your part could take the sting out of the things that bug you.