Employee Morale Low?

For pricing information, get details here.

Lift Employee Morale At Your Company

If your company is further away than 25 miles, we can still schedule a workshop, but only on Thursdays, Saturdays, and Sundays due to the need to factor in more travel time.

I’m a personal development counselor…

Firstly, I’m not a psychotherapist or psychologist. Moreover, I don’t even believe in the value of psychotherapy and psychology as it is typically used today. Unfortunately, neither will go away just because I don’t believe in their value [snarky grin]. To be clear, I think the science of the mind is worthwhile study - we are fascinating machines - but I find zero benefit in people seeing a therapist for years, going over and over their issues, traumas and past pains ad nauseum. I find worse than zero benefit - as in negative zero benefit - from the prescription drugs these people are passing off as “care”.

So I’ll say it again, I’m not a psychotherapist or a psychologist. I am a personal development counselor. Not a religious counselor either, but a guide that is here to aid you in becoming your very best, happiest, most joyful self.

I Will Never Tell You What To Do…

You can come to me and say, “Cynthia, I don’t know what to do,” and we will talk about your problem together and I will help you discover what you really want to do, what you really want to happen, how you really want it to resolve and I will help you see how that could be possible and what your next steps could be. But I will never tell you what to do. I will help you find the answer yourself, but I have neither the right nor the responsibility to decide for you what you should do. In fact, NO ONE but you has the right or the responsibility to tell you what you should do.

I know that life is confusing sometimes. I know that often we wish we could have help in navigating life’s difficult decisions. I agree that you should have help with whatever decisions are troubling you. If you’re lost, you should definitely seek the counsel of someone because inaction is as dangerous as a bad decision. In fact, inaction is almost always a horrible decision. If you need help, I’m good choice and you’ll feel better after we talk. You’ll have a sense of purpose instead of feeling lost. It is one of the higher honors of my life to be able to assist you in your times of need in this way.

Getting help doesn’t mean you’re weak or stupid…

Everybody needs help sometimes. Getting help doesn’t mean you’re weak or stupid or incapable in any way. It means you’re committed to tackling your problems. It means you’re showing up for yourself and the people who matter to you. It means you’re actively seeking positive change. There is no downside to getting help when you need it.

A small “however” on life-threatening matters….

If you are in a life-threatening situation such as domestic violence,
it is my duty as a caring citizen of Planet Earth to tell you to make a plan to  get
yourself to safety and offer whatever services I can to aid you in that
endeavor. Yes, in that instance, I will most assuredly advise you to
“make your plan”. True my to statements above, however, I will not
define your plan for you. I will help you discover it for yourself, but
I will not tell you what to do.

Many times, especially as we get older, family members and friends sometimes want to argue with us about the way we remember things that happened to us.  There could be six people present for an event and all 6 people will remember it a different way - and herein lies the problem.  This happens because our interpretation of the event is processed through our own personal filter.  We see the event the way we do because of our knowledge, life experience, personal attitude, and a lot of other factors, so even though all six of us were there for the same experience at the same time we will still all experience it differently.  There’s nothing wrong with this picture.  It’s the only way it can be (unless we’re all members of the Borg and have only one collective memory).

Remembering Things Differently Doesn’t Mean Remembering Things Wrong

The fact that a friend or family member remembers something differently than you do is only a reflection of that person’s own filter.  It doesn’t make anyone wrong.  At the very least a person’s perception of what happened will give others a valuable insight into what that person’s inner world is like.  At best, it’s a chance to see or understand a situation differently and perhaps get more out of it than our original perception.

While we can open up our minds and hearts and allow others to keep their perception of events (we aren’t going to change them anyway), there really isn’t any reason to argue with someone else about what “really” happened.  How a person perceived an event is only that - how they perceived it.  We’re all entitled to have our own unique interpretation of the events that happen in our lives.  People, even those very close to us, have had inner experiences which we cannot know.  We don’t have any right to tell another their perception of an event is wrong.  Similarly, no one has the right to tell you that you shouldn’t have defined an experience the way you did or dismiss your experience as invalid.

Similarly, I’m sure we’ve all heard someone tell someone else, “Oh, it wasn’t that big a deal!”  Maybe we’ve been the person on either end of that ourselves.  We can’t know how big of a deal an event was to another person, but here’s a hint: When they are relating the story to you (that perhaps you think is wrong), they are trying to communicate to you just how big of a deal it was to them in their own inner world.  You can tell them they’re wrong or you can listen and learn something about the person.  In fact, listening and feeling your reactions to what they’re saying will even teach you a lot about YOU.

If you’re on the receiving end of this situation and being told that you’re wrong, relax.  This other person who thinks your perception is wrong can’t take anything from you.  They can’t change anything about your perception or your experience.  You can listen and learn about their interpretation of events and what it says about them - but remember their interpretation is no reflection on you or the “rightness” of your interpretation.

If you’re on the other end of this situation and you insist on telling someone they are wrong for perceiving things as they do, perhaps you want to take a look at your own motivations:

Why is it so important for you to be “right”?  (Do you have control issues? Do you feel you’ll lose control of something if another person doesn’t concede the rightness of your thinking?)

What do you stand to gain from the other person being “wrong”? (Do you gain feelings of superiority over this other person?)

What do you stand to lose from the other person’s perception? (Do you feel you’ll lose face if their perception is considered accurate by other people?)

Insisting on the rightness of your perception over the rightness of other people’s can tell others that you think your perception of an event is the only one that matters, your life experience is the only experience that matters, your opinions and beliefs are the only opinions and beliefs that matter.  The bottom line is that your perception, your experience, your opinions and beliefs are all YOU know.  We’re all here having our own experience and despite being here together, we’re all experiencing it as singular individuals.  You cannot know these things about other people, but if you listen carefully to their perceptions of events and observe how they differ from yours, you can learn a lot about the person and yourself.

If you can’t listen without interrupting and saying they’re wrong, perhaps you’re afraid to let any perception live but yours.  Perhaps you’re afraid to know what that says about you.  And that’s okay.  That’s just for today.  Tomorrow you can make a different decision if you really want to.  You can decide to listen and realize that by doing so, you’re not losing any ground.  This other person’s perceptions hasn’t changed the singularity of your experience or any of the events that have led you to interpret this event the way you did.  You can both be right and share in a newer fullness of memory.

Dear Fellow Americans,

Oh, how I love you so.  Such indomitable spirits and determination.  We’ve done so much in this country that couldn’t be done elsewhere in the world.  We are always questing, questing, questing…

until we’re home for the day, that is.  Then it’s all chips, soda, snack foods, convenience foods, etc. all eaten in front of that ever entertaining source of blue light… the television.

I know your life is none of my business.  I know I am not my brother’s keeper.  But still I feel compelled to shake you awake so that you at least have the opportunity to decide to save your own life.

So here, my good friend, are some shooting-straight-from-the-hip suggestions I hope you will take in the spirit of love from which I extended them.  I mean not to berate you, but to speakly frankly enough that you can hear me above the bullshit that is blasted at us every day.

• Cut your portions back.  You’re not going to die.  Stop super-sizing and stop complaining when you get only a “reasonable” sized portion in a restaurant.  I know many of you feel that if your plate isn’t stacked high, then you didn’t get a good value for your dining dollars.  Being fat, sick and unhealthy is NOT a good value at any price.  Learn to be happier with smaller portions.  A reasonable portion in a restaurant is very worth the money because your health is worth every dime you spend.  In fact, a reasonable portion (or smaller) in a restaurant actually has an ROI (return on investment) which a large sized portion does not.  A large portion takes more from you than it gives you.  A smaller portion gives you enough without any extra you need to whittle off your ass later.

• Stop buying premade food.  Yes, you’ll have (to learn) to cook or join the raw food revolution.  When you buy a food at the grocery store, think of it this way: Is what you’re buying found in nature?  For instance, nature makes cow, chicken, piggies, wheat, apples, potatoes, etc.  Nature does not make Hillshire Farms nor does it make “summer sausage”.  Eat food with an origin close to nature - as close as you can.  The more hands that have touched it, the less you want it.  In other words, you want food that has been processed as little as possible.  Does nature make pie?  No, but if you’re going to eat pie, make it yourself, so you can control what goes in it.

• Move or die.  Believe me when I say convenience kills and I’m not the only one who knows this.  Know who else knows?  The people who make the convenience foods.  There is nothing in our DNA that prepares us for convenience foods.  We were designed for feast or famine.  We were designed to walk many miles in a day, hunt our food, run from predators, scavenge berries and such, climb over obstacles (or hide in them), etc.  Nowadays we complain about the trip to the microwave to heat our Lean Cuisine or other instant meal.  In no way were you engineered NOT to work for your food.  The less you work for your food, the closer you are to death and the whole prescription drug machine.  You act like I’m kidding you.  I’m not kidding you - get off your ass or die in your chair!  It’s urgent.

• Stop believing the food industry, the diet industry, the prescription drug industry, and the FDA are all looking out for you.  They aren’t.  They’re looking out for their pockets.  Your life, and its quality and/or longevity, doesn’t matter to them.  Let me repeat… your life doesn’t matter to them.

• Stop opting for a pill instead of common sense.  There’s someone out there craftier than you who knows our propensity for choosing the “no work” way over just about anything else.  While this is killing you, it’s making them rich.  Is that really how you want this whole game to play out?  Did you ever want to be fat and diseased when you grew up?  I don’t think so.  Did you ever say, “I want to carmelize like a banana when I grow up!”  I know you didn’t.

• Take responsibility for yourself and the choices you’ve made so far.  No one’s made you eat and drink all that food or watch all that television.  That’s a choice you make every day even if you aren’t making it proactively.  A passive decision is still a decision and you will still have to bear the outcome.  Have you seen the outcomes people are bearing with their bodies these days?  Do you want to end like that?  It’s easy to sit here now and think the end is far away and that it won’t be anything like that for you.  Well, it’s easy until that fateful visit to the doctor anyway and then there’s entire years of dietary transgressions you wish you could take back and can’t.

It’s not my goal to give you shit about your life.  If you have the fire left in you to get mad about the things in this article and take your life back, then I want you to do it.  Please, please, please… every body save themselves.  No one else is going to save you.

Do you realize what you are to the people that profit from you every day? Corporate America, Big Pharma, the food industry, the diet industry… You’re a battery.  A dollar producing battery and when your usefulness is done, you’ll be indoctrinated into the prescription drug machine and then your primary care physician will manage you to death.  Think about it.

Does this sound at all like you?  You get up in the morning, maybe have a little breakfast, rush to work in rush hour traffic, stressing the whole way about whether you’ll get there in time, then you get to work and work some while talking to coworkers about whatever was on tv last night, or how sick you are, etc., then you eat a crappy lunch, work some more, drive home in rush hour traffic, get home and have a less than stellar dinner in front of the television, snack on a bunch of crap, then go to bed tired and unsatisfied, only to get up in the morning and DO IT ALL AGAIN.  Then on the weekend you try to get as many household chores done as possible because you’re just too tired during the week, but you want to have some fun too.  The ultra short weekend is gone and already Monday is here and you DO IT ALL AGAIN.

Are there just a few things off?  Is it all off?  Is it dead on?  Did I miss a couple of things?  Oh yah, like the fact that you don’t really have sex all that much because your hormones make you feel horrible in addition to the fact you feel bloated and horrible much of the time?  Or did I leave out the alcoholic beverages?  Or how your treadmill serves as an extention of the closet?  Yeah.

Do you ever wonder why there are so many fat people today?  Or why most everyone you know is on at least one kind of prescription drug?  Or why so many people are depressed, OCD, bipolar, etc.?  Do you ever wonder who in your government or society is benefitting from having a nation fat, sick, unhappy people?  Do you ever wonder if perhaps your discontent combined with apathy has been engineered?  No?  Maybe you should.

One of my favorite movies of all time is the 1996 movie, “Michael” with John Travolta as the archangel,

Michael.  It also stars Andie MacDowell, Jean Stapleton, William Hurt and Robert Pastorelli.

My favorite part of the movie is the end when you see Michael dancing with Pansy Milbank (Jean Stapleton) who has previously passed away in the movie.  They dance off together in the end when everything works out like it’s supposed to.  Whenever I see that, I’m struck with the thought that this is how we are intended to go through life… light-hearted and dancing.

We are here to see, learn, experience.  We are here to experience the wonders of singular focus, linear time, and outcomes.  This doesn’t have to mean that we are here to suffer, to merely “get through the day/night”, or to fail at creating.

I found the picture below during my internet travels.  I don’t know who they are or what the circumstances are, but I love the picture.  It reminds me of the same thing the movie Michael does… we should be light-heartedly dancing our way through this life with the spirit of joyful exploration and a fun sense of adventure.

I know it’s easy to lose your way.  It’s easy to get caught up in the minutia of what appear to be endless “problems”.  It’s easy to get so caught up in the daily grind, that you forget why you’re here.  Maybe you’re thinking that you’ve never known why you’re here.  Let me tell you, my darling… you are here with a group of loving friends to create outcomes you’ve never experienced before.  YOU, have the singular ability to live out your intention.  Listen to your soul and it will tell you things it really wants to experience.  What have you always wanted to do?  Where have you always wanted to go?  What would thing would you do if you weren’t so afraid of failing in front of other people?  What would you be and do?  These are the things your soul came down into a body to experience.  These are the things it wants to taste and feel and roll in.  I guarantee you that your soul didn’t plan a whole life down here so it could experience moving numbly through your days and watching television all evening.  I mean, how many Doritos do we need in one lifetime?

Ask your soul.  Listen to the answers.  And then get out there and dance!

A creepy looking man in a dark alley, wearing an old, dirty hat and a stained trench coat calls to you as you pass by.  “Psst!  Hey you!  Yeah, YOU!  What’s in your head right now?  You can imagine what’s been in mine to get me here in this position.  Can you spare a happy thought?  A positive juju to get me through the night?”

Okay, so like…  that’s probably not going to happen to you EVER lol, but I wanted to use that arresting visual.

So, let’s just STOP and take a look at what’s been in  your head today.  What have you been thinking about?  Have you been worrying?  Have you been fuming over something that happened or something someone said or something that’s going on at work or home right now?  Have you been scared?  Are you sad?  Have you been just “convinced” that something is going to happen i.e. boss being mad, husband not picking something up, principal calling about the kids from school, an important piece of mail not arriving, etc.?  Have you been thinking that _______ sucks, never works, never happens, always happens, etc.?

STOP and write down some of the most prevalent stuff in your head so far today and be honest.  No one will know and no one is looking.  Do this for yourself.  Look at your list of stuff and know this:

THIS IS WHAT YOU ARE INVITING INTO YOUR LIFE!

Is it anything you want?  If you’re worried about something, do you want that worry to happen and do you want more things to worry about?  If you’re fuming about something or someone, do you want more to fume about?  If you’re sad, do you want more heartache?  More things to cry about?  If something always or never happens, do you want it to continue to always or never happen?

I didn’t think so.  I can hear your question… Yeah, so how do I change it?

You change it by being mindful.  Being mindful means, you go about your usual business with the intention that you’re going to “catch” yourself thinking these negative thoughts.  Just for today, just for this next hour - try to catch yourself thinking this stuff.  When you do, say to yourself, “stop” or “cancel” and replace your negative thought with what you’d really like to happen.  But… don’t say it from lack because that’s the same as saying the negative thing.  For instance, you wouldn’t want to say, “I just want this freakin’ thing to work!” because saying it that way implies it isn’t working.  Instead, see whatever it is working smoothly and intend for it to go smoothly.  Do not even entertain the idea that it might not work.  Before you even start it, see it and feel it as if it has already happened - as if it has already gone smoothly.  How does that feel?

Envisioning an open parking space and expecting to find one is totally different than saying, “I hate coming into this part of town, there are never any parking spaces!”  The energy is completely different and so is your intent.

You can start small.  Pick one of those negative thoughts you wrote down and try to catch yourself thinking it during the next hour.  Just for the next hour.  Replace it with your preferred outcome and then notice your stress level.  It’ll go down.  Negative thoughts continually jab us in the ass with a red hot poker, driving us to bad choices, bad feelings, and pressure that many times isn’t even really there.

Ladies and gentlemen, this is your mission, should you choose to accept it:  Slow down.  Catch yourself thinking a negative thought.  Say “stop” or “cancel” and immediately replace it with your desired outcome (crafting it carefully not to come from lack) and FEEL that your desired outcome has already occurred.  This message will self-destruct in 5  4  3  2  1.

Sometimes we have what appear to be problems.  Sometimes these problems are with the other people in our lives.  In fact, much of our apparent misery through this life is tied to our interactions with the other people.  Sometimes it even seems like interactions with other people can sour everything - our good mood for the day, our meal, our walk, our hopes and our dreams.

We may have friends that have betrayed us, lovers that have left us, employers that have exploited us, co-workers that have plotted against us, and perhaps most devastatingly… family members that have mistreated us.

Think of all the people in your life.  Think of the people who have been blessings to know.  Think of the people who have been awful to you in one way or another.  Think of the passers-by and strangers that have left impressions on you for one reason or another.

But let’s take another look, beloved.  Let’s take a closer look at the people and events around us.  Imagine, if you will, a convocation(1) of beings without form.  They are gathered together for the purpose of planning a trip down into life.  There is no animosity among them, no anger - only love and a spirit of adventure and accomplishment.  In fact, they’re a group of beings that have often traveled together throughout lifetimes.

They all have things they’d like to create and to experience.  They’re going to take on bodies and come down into life to create and experience these things.  They are gathered together to see how they may help each other during “this” life to come.  They have chosen their challenges, their life’s work, their gifts to the world.  They know what lessons they need to learn, what hardships will take them to the next level, what inspiration they need to keep on keeping on and get where they need to go.  Now they need to organize the players.  You (the soul “you” that is present during all lifetimes and exists without form, the “you” that inhabits the bodies) are one of them.

Imagine you announced to this group, “I will need a painful lesson to get to the next level in this life,” and someone who loved you very much replied, “I will do that for you.  I will be the contrast you need.”  Another member of the group addresses you specifically and says, “In this next life, I will be a person with extreme challenges, perhaps even a person who will seem awful to many.  In fact, I’m really going to lose my way.  I will need someone to remind me of my divinity, even with just a word or a small action, but it may take more than that.  Could you do that for me?  I know it’ll break through to me if you’re the one handling it.  It may not be convenient for you and it may seem to interfere with your own plans.  Would you do that for me?”  And you, in all your wisdom, love and understanding say, “Yes, my friend.  I’ll do that for you.”

And thusly, agreements are made and pacts are spoken.  The group of you are born into bodies and you go down into life to create and experience all you have set out to do, knowing you will not remember each other nor will you remember any of the agreements you have made prior to coming down into life.  But each trusts that the person they will need at any given moment will arrive as promised.

Now look again, with new eyes, at the people who are challenges for you, the people who seem to contrast your hopes and dreams.  Look again at the people who inspire you.  Look again at those strangers who seem to say just the right thing as they pass you on the street or sit next to you on the bus.

How do these dear travelers look now?

They are all fulfilling their promises to you in whatever capacity they agreed to play.  They may be here with you, at your request, to deliver a lesson or a blessing.  Perhaps they requested you for a special service, lesson, blessing, or inspiration.  You may have asked them to teach you a lesson, knowing you’d somehow “get it” if they delivered it.  You may have been asked by them to be their teacher or their light in the darkness.

How do these dear travelers look now?

Should you be angry at the beings who agreed to give you what you asked for or that you agreed to help?  Should you be hurt all your life over resentments you asked for and received?  Perhaps, with these new eyes, you can look at your fellow travelers and say, “Thank you, beloved.  I know I don’t remember you, but I trust that outside of this big playground, we are friends and loved ones to each other.  I know I don’t remember our agreement, but I trust we have one.  I knew I could trust you to do this for me.  I trust that our agreements were made in love and grace and with the spirit of adventure and accomplishment.  Bless you for all you’ve given and the part you’ve played in this lifetime.  Thank you for keeping your promises.”  And whether the person is a blessing to you or a challenge, bless them and release them to their highest good elsewhere.  Release them with the love and the grace with which they have been bound to you in the first place.

And yes, I know you.  We were at the gathering together, you and I - part of the same convocation.  I agreed to be that voice from afar that promised to remind you of your divinity.  I promised to remind you of what we’re here to do.  I promised to remind you of your power and your grace.  Why?  Because I love you that much.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(1) A Convocation (Latin ‘calling together’, translating the Greek ecclesia) is a group of people formally assembled for a special purpose.

Being a light worker, I get to have some pretty unique conversations with interesting people about things that really matter.  Along this course, I have the privilege of fielding some pressing questions that people have.  Some questions are presented to me over and over and it’s one of them that I’d like to share with you today.

Hands down, the question (it’s formed as a statement, but it’s really a question to people - despite how they frame it - because they want an answer) I hear the most is, “If Law Of Attraction worked, everyone would be rich and everyone would drive Mercedes and no one would work.”

And I always say, “Really?  Everyone wants to be rich?  Everyone wants a Mercedes?  No one wants to work?  Let’s talk about this.”  These are assumptions we make, but none of them are true.  Some people want to be rich.  Some people want a Mercedes.  Some people don’t want to work.  Now, those last 3 statements are more likely to be true than the first 3.

Does everyone want to be rich?  I think many people would like to be their version of “comfortable”.  There are still many people in the world that believe asking to be rich is greedy, so they just want a nice big piece of the pie without feeling like they’re hogging it all.  To some people $100,000 is “rich”.  To others, it might take many millions stacked end-to-end to make them feel rich.  Perhaps if some people were able to pay off their home and their cars, that might be enough to make them feel rich.  There are probably as many ways to define “rich” as there are people.  In fact, some people may not even count money in what means “rich” to them.  Maybe rich means not having to punch a clock, or being self-employed, or letting their wife stay home instead of working, or having a summer cabin in the mountains, or taking their whole family on a yearly vacation every year, or having a certain golf membership or driving a certain car… or having peace of mind.  Rich means many things to many people.  Does everyone want to be rich?  It’s probably safe to say yes, but what each person defines as “rich” may surprise you.

Ask 100 people what their dream car is - what they’d buy for themselves if money were no object - and only a portion of them will say Mercedes.  Some will want classic muscle cars of a delicious vintage.  Some will want Hummers.  Some will desire classy european cars.  Some will want pacific rim low riders.  Some may even want a beat up old pickup truck.  Some may want a bicycle or a really nice motorcycle (whatever that might mean for them).  Do you see what I’m saying?  Not everyone has the same taste.  Not everyone wants the same kind of car.  Not everyone thinks a Mercedes is all that.

Does everyone want to say goodbye to work?  A lot of people probably do, but probably just as many would rather switch to meaningful work.  I know for me personally, I’ll always have some work to do because it excites me and gives my life more purpose.  For me, the luxury is being able to choose the kind of work that I do and for whom.  I think that’s the case for a lot of people.  They enjoy having meaningful work - not necessarily work that’s meaningful to you or me, but work that’s personally meaningful to THEM.  Wouldn’t it be exciting to get up every morning and do work that YOU actually thought was important and that YOU actually thought was making a difference in your world?

So what’s all this got to do with Law Of Attraction?  My point is that because marketers target very materialistic things when promoting Law Of Attraction, people assume that if Law Of Attraction really worked people would all pick the same hallmarks of success and that it all has to do with money.  My point is that everyone wants different things and all of these things mean something different to different people.  So everyone that the Law Of Attraction is working for isn’t going to be a carbon copy cutout of everyone else for whom it’s working.

For example… Law Of Attraction is working wonders for me.  I wanted more peace and less negativity in my life and I got it.  I wanted an old-school BMW and I got it.  I wanted hearing aids and they’re on their way.  I wanted to go to school and I get to go starting this semester.  I wanted to become a seasonal tax professional and I did it.  There have been so many things I wanted and I’ve received them.  I have so many awesome things popping in my life right now that sometimes I’m in awe - it all seems like a miracle.  But that’s just the Law Of Attraction at work.  Now look at my list of the great stuff I said I’ve manifested in this paragraph… was any of it stuff you wanted too?  Probably not and that’s okay.  What makes me feel fortunate may not be what it takes to make you feel fortunate and that’s the whole point of this article.

We’re all different.  We all have different ideas of “rich”, different ideas of “successful”, different ideas of “healthy”, different ideas of “happy”, different ideas of “wise” - you name it.  So just because all Law Of Attraction practitioners don’t have a bunch of stuff YOU want, doesn’t mean it’s not working for anyone.  It also doesn’t mean that Law Of Attraction only works on material things.  Some people would trade all the riches in the world for good health, or peace when they close their eyes at night, or for a great mate.  There are many things to want in this world and not all of them involve riches, Mercedes, or not working.

So… what is that you desire?  What does it take to make you feel fortunate?  What does “rich” mean to you?  What would you drive?  Do you want to stop working or do you want meaningful work?  Are you preparing the way for what you want in your life?  If you need help figuring out what would mean the most to you to have, how to prepare the way, how to manifest the things you want, etc., contact me at cindi [at] wholyone [dot] com to arrange for some confidential one-on-one help.  The new year is fast approaching.  Do you really want to go through another year without accomplishing some of the things you’d like to be, do or have?  The best time to start is always right now and you get a fresh start at every moment.  Let’s talk!

I’m listening to Wayne Dyer’s audio book called, “Choosing Your Own Greatness”.  I love Wayne Dyer.  I’ve been reading him since I was a teenager and my mom had a copy of Your Erroneous Zones on her bookshelf.  I consider him my spiritual “Dad” in that whenever I’m in need of good fatherly advice, I dig into something by Wayne Dyer.  When it comes to good advice, he’s even better than the ghost of my Uncle Emmett, but Uncle Emmett’s ghost is a whole ‘nother blog ;).  Anyway, I’m finding nuggets of yummy goodness that are just so exciting, I had to share them with you.

One in particular is a fantastic analogy Wayne Dyer makes about oranges.  He asks the audience what would come out if you squeezed an orange really hard.  Well, orange juice would come out.  Then he asks if it matters who is squeezing the orange.  And well… you know it doesn’t matter, right?  No matter who squeezes the orange, orange juice will come out.  Why?  Because that’s what’s inside! So then he takes this same analogy and applies it to people.

When you squeeze a person, by whatever means, what’s going to come out?  Whatever is inside them.  It could be anger, resentment, bitterness, hatred or a zillion other things.  Or it could be grace.  It doesn’t matter who does the squeezing or why they’re squeezing.  It’s easy to say, “I had _____ reaction because of what so-and-so said,” but that isn’t true.  The only kind of juice you get out of an orange is orange juice.  The only kind of juice we’re going to get out of you is what’s inside you.  We don’t do anything because of anyone else.  We do whatever we do because that’s what’s inside us.  The world is squeezing and we are just dripping with whatever is inside us.

When you’re squeezed, what comes out of you?

Once you get rid of all the negativity, all the anger, the hurt, the jealousy, the rage, the bitterness, the sense of unfairness or whatever bad stuff is in there, there is only grace.  Once there’s only grace, nothing anyone says or does can ruffle you.  No amount of squeezing by anyone is going to make anything other than grace come out of you.

There’s an old saying that says, “He who angers you, conquers you.”  Well, you conquer yourself because you’re the only one with the power to decide to be angry or hurt or sad or bitter.  No one else really has that power over you.  You don’t have to be offended when someone insults you or your intelligence.  You don’t have to be angry when someone lets you down or cuts you off in traffic.  You don’t have to be hurt over the words of another.  You can make a different decision.  You don’t have to put your peace away just because someone does something you don’t like.  You can just say to yourself, “Aren’t people funny?” and let it go.  Big deal!  So what!  You don’t have to let an external happening affect the peace you have inside.

Watch for my upcoming workshop “Breaking Out of Negativity” to learn more about building real peace inside yourself and deciding what kind of “juice” comes out of you when squeezed.  The workshop is 3/4’s of the way done and I’m almost done with the worksheets, so it’ll be released very soon!

La Loba, which means Wolf Woman, speaks here as an independent woman, speaking for herself, through the personification of the wildish nature that courses through all women.  She does not speak for all women, but perhaps those who do not hear the call of the wildish nature of woman as loudly, will wake up to her presence and certainly those who do hear the call will recognize her voice and be able to track her through the woods.

“La Loba, the old one, The One Who Knows, is within us.  She thrives in the deepest soul-phyche of women, the ancient and vital Wild Woman.  The La Loba story describes her home as that place in time where the spirit of women and the spirit of wolf meet — the place where her mind and her instincts mingle, where a woman’s deep life funds her mundane life.  It is the point where the I and the Thou kiss, the place where women run with the wolves.” –Clarissa Pinkola Estes, from “Women Who Run With the Wolves”

Some women, perhaps the ones that tend to be loners in life, hear La Loba’s call more than others.  Some women believe they are happy in the roles society has mapped out for them, the roles television shows and glossy magazines have so clearly delineated.  But not La Loba.

In relationships she’s often dragging her neck along the ground trying to get her collar and leash to flip around so she can grab it in her teeth and chew through the strap.  She moves her head this way and that, trying to free herself from her constraints.  She always manages to chew herself to freedom eventually, even if she has to gnaw off a foreleg or the end of her tail.

Her wildish nature feels trapped in tight spaces with too much domestication.  She can play the good girl, always caring for her partner, her children, her pets, and anyone else who comes within reach.  It is not commitment or love she rails against, but roles society has trained her to take in relationships and in life.  Even the thought gets her neck to straining against her bonds, whether real or imagined.

“… many women give up [the red shoes] and agree to become too cleaned up, too nice, too compliant to someone else’s way of seeing the world.” –Clarissa Pinkola Estes, PhD in “Women Who Run With the Wolves”

La Loba has seen herself put aside her dreams, wants, and desires out of a misguided sense of relationship.  She wants a love relationship, but doesn’t want the entity of relationship to exceed her entity of sovereign self - she doesn’t want the relationship to become more important than her own needs, wants, desires.

“Then a woman’s life is overcome by pallor, for she is hambre del alma, a starved soul.  All she wants is her deep life back.” –Clarissa Pinkola Estes, PhD in “Women Who Run With the Wolves”

This too - her deep life back - is what La Loba wants.  She wants to follow her bliss and act on her intuition. She wants to decide for herself. If she wants to travel then she wants to travel.  She doesn’t want to say yes to another’s choice of Hawaii when she really wants to dance in the rain in Ireland or stand in the fog in Scotland or Newfoundland, even if that means she travels alone. Her spirit needs to freely consort with the earth, her toes and hands in the dirt, mucking through the fertile soil of creation. The divinity of her soul craves passionate expression through art, song, dance - creation through her own mind and hands.  La Loba wants to live for herself.  For herself.

“A woman’s life may die in the fire of self-hatred for complexes can bite hard and, at least for a time, successfully frighten her away from coming too near the work or life that matters to her.  Many years are spent in not going, not moving, not learning, not finding out, not obtaining, not taking on, not becoming.” –Clarissa Pinkola Estes, PhD in “Women Who Run With the Wolves”

La Loba doesn’t think she hates herself, but she knows the years of not.  She knows the feeling of working, working, working - at this endeavor or that, on this dream or that - but never doing quite enough work, or never doing the work that would take it over the edge into fruition.

“The vision a woman has for her own life can also be decimated in the flames of someone else’s jealousy or someone’s plain-out destructiveness towards her.

Family, mentors, teachers, and friends are not supposed to be destructive if and when they feel envy, but some decidedly are, in both subtle and not-so-subtle ways.  No woman can afford to let her creative life hang by a thread while she serves an antagonistic love relationship, parent, teacher, or friend.” –Clarissa Pinkola Estes, PhD in “Women Who Run With the Wolves”

La Loba knows the antagonistic love relationship and she knows, too, the jealousy of those she has trusted.  She knows certain people in her life like her better when she is struggling and failing, hurting and lost, striving and not getting there.  She knows who they are and can see their acts of sabotage, how they gradually try to undermine her confidence.  She hears the bitterness and doubt in their words, even when smeared in saccharine.

But La Loba knows the others, the select few, the count-them-on-one-hand people who want La Loba to be her fullest and live her whole life without leaving some parts unlived at all.  She knows the people in her life who will always guard her secret dreams and hold her to the image of her highest self.  Those precious souls with courage to face her fangs who say, “You are unhappy La Loba because you know what you should do and you’re not doing it.”

La Loba craves her own space - her den set up just the way she likes it.  She craves sovereignty over her domain.  She knows what she wants and she doesn’t care if you like it.  She doesn’t want to be nice every minute because sometimes it’s her instinctive nature to snarl and get her hackles up.

She doesn’t want to be constrained by your perception of her.  She doesn’t want to be shackled by the role society would have her take, the role society carefully taught her all her life - “this is what women do.”

She doesn’t want what everyone else thinks they want.  She doesn’t want to walk into the trap or the gilded cage.  She doesn’t want to chew off her own tail ever again.

La Loba looks down at her chewed up collar on the ground.  She howls at the moon and pads off into the darkness, disappearing into the trees.

©La Loba & Cindi Clinton  07-05-08