Whoreticulture

Apologies.

2005-08-30T20:12:00.000-07:00

My apologies for the serious LACK of activity over the past week (or so...). I'm moved in to my room in AA, but I don't really have any internet set-up just yet. Things are sort of in limbo right now and might be this way for... well... I dunno how long, but I'll figure something out. I guess, I'm happy that I'm finally getting to spend some k-wality time with my che'-to-the-lo'. And don't worry about me, the other school of Music people are nice. And I haven't met a cellist so far that wasn't really chilled out and NOT about the drama... unlike the voice majors.

---
Update (8/31 3:53p): Internet is NOW UP in my room! Yay!!! So, now all I need is an ethernet cable and I'm ALL SET! Hoooooooray! That is all... More internetting soon. Scohrp!

Whoreticulture #9: Commencing Departure!

2005-08-28T10:16:00.000-07:00

Whoreticulture #9

In which Hayden groggily details the end of his tenure in Royal Oak, MI as he anticipates things to come! (cum?)

Whoreticulture #8: Morning Podcast

2005-08-26T13:32:00.000-07:00

Whoreticulture #8

In which Hayden explains his current condition and meditates on being in a park in the morning.

Music Note: For this episode, I used samples from "Tromboline" originally by Umod, remixed by Hipp-e & Halo in FABRICLIVE 12. I also sampled from the start of my favorite Sarabande from the J.S. Bach Cello Suite #4 in E flat minor. The cellist is Yo-Yo Ma from his 1997 release "Inspired by Bach."

Whoreticulture #7: I'm a Grower, Not a Show-er!

2005-08-25T19:27:00.000-07:00

Whoreticulture #7

In which Hayden and guest Liz discuss Meatloaf, dick size, coke and, of course, Julie Andrews!

Whoreticulture #6: Diary of a Drugged-up, Drowsy Whore

2005-08-23T13:48:00.000-07:00

Whoreticulture #6

In which Hayden downs vicadin following his "wisdom" teeth removal; further describes his academic life and old friends.

Tech note: Apologies for the large file size and lack of decent quality.
Personal note: Apologies for the bizarre range of cutsy-esque/quasi-pathological voices. It was Mommy's dolls talking.

Whoreticulture will be on holiday!

2005-08-19T11:52:00.000-07:00

I know I haven't updated Whoreticulture in a while, but, let me tell you, my computer has been jacked! I had to reformat everything and do all sorts of hullabaloo, but now it's better. My surgery went well and I'm also all cracked up on vicadin.

I'm taking my wisdom-toothless self on vacation with my friends this weekend as well up to a cabin in the Upper Penninsula of MI! So, that means NO TECHNOLOGY! Which is a very good thing. I'm gonna unplug (well, excluding butt-plugs) and unwind for the weekend while enjoy bucolic atmosphere of Northern Michigan.

I hope everyone has a splendiforous weekend! Whoreticulture #6 will be up soon, thanks for listening!

Workin' Workin'!

2005-08-17T10:41:00.000-07:00

So, I need to come up with these things for the show:

1) A jingly opening for my show.
2) Cute catch phrases.
3) A pro-to-the-mo.
4) A pic that is all my own.
5) I also want to pimp out my website and make it all cool and hot!

If you listen to the show and you like it, give me a ring or whatnot and share your knowledge!

Whoreticulture #5 is up and out!

2005-08-16T22:27:00.000-07:00

I just had to record some of the bizarre events of the day on Whoreticulture. Does anyone else get random calls from China at 2 a.m.?

Whoreticulture #5: The Duck Wattles

Tired rambling...

2005-08-16T08:07:00.000-07:00

A blizzare night. I'll podcast on it, I think. Yes. I shall... shit. I only got 3.5 hours of sleep... BLOW ME, LIMITATIONS OF MY FLESH. I wish I knew how to get blood to go all drippy down the word: "Flesh"

Alas, I don't.

De-troit WHAT?!

2005-08-15T21:58:00.000-07:00

To all m'gals in D-town,

Come to James' concert tomorrow. He'll rock yer nasties off!

Love,
H

Scribbles!

2005-08-15T19:22:00.000-07:00

I amuse myself far too much, guys. It's pretty damn shameless.

Whoreticulture #4: Making the World Brighter, One Homo at a Time!

2005-08-15T18:34:00.000-07:00

Here's EPISODE FOUR OF...
WHORETICULTURE!!! Yay!

I'm sorry that it sounds so weird and scratchy. I know it has something to do w/ my iTalk and how it records in .wav and I need to convert it to .mp3... Help.

Here it is anyway...
Whoreticulture #4: Making the World Brighter, One Homo at a Time!

Oooodelalee! Golly, what a day!

2005-08-15T16:17:00.000-07:00

Okay. So, I'm watching QAF Season 4 right now... and Justin is being a big immature-head. I am not a fan. Not a fan 't'all. Anyhoo. Podcast up soon, y'all. Sitting in jeans and a black-beater smokin' up, so I'm in no hurry. I hope everybody is doing something fun. Anyone up for horoscopes? "Catch the dope, with your horoscope!"

Oooodelalee!

If I could pick a "Most Relaxing Day of the Year," it would be today.

2005-08-14T21:04:00.000-07:00

Hey gurlz.

I have just had an AMAZINGLY relaxing and lovely day! I'll divulge!

1) Woke up at 11 after having skinny-dipped in our hot-tub just few hours before! Huzzah!
2) Played hours of Final Fantasy (pathetic! I'm a loser!) while munching on Cinn. Toast Crunch!
3) Ate at Big Boy (HORK!) but loved every second of its slimy, sub-suburban, Slim Jim-my GOODNESS! (As I delay the words and raise my hands in hommage to O-to-the-prah!)
4) Played a solid hour of tennis and... I still suck! (But I'm still the most proud motha-fucka that ever sucked geriatric dick at tennis.)
5) Had a LOVELY shower, then tried my FIRST vibrator! It was THE BEST... ever. I had so much fun with it! And I even tried the "colonator" attachment and it was all up in my colin's bidness, and I loved it!
6) Relaxed more, took Tobsey (dog) for a w-a-l-k... and watched some QAF and got high! I'm happy! Yay!

I'll podcast tomorrow.

Whoreticulture #3... Parts 1 and 2!

2005-08-13T13:44:00.001-07:00

A duo-parter today. Today, for your listening pleasure, dears, you get two sagas of Whoreticulture enjoyment.

(Part 1): The BAD Kind of Dicking

(Part 2): On Gratefulness

So, there you have it! Silly, Bea Arthur! You're such a cutie.

Whoreticulture #2: Cell Phones and iTalk Don't Mix, Kids

2005-08-13T13:44:00.000-07:00

The official second episode of Whoreticulture is now up for all to listen to! How exciting is that, gurlz? There was some issues regarding interference during a cell phone call on the episode. And because I'm a bitch of a host, I'll just have y'all bust your asses and fast forward through it if you so desire. Oh, Paul Rubens... Anyhoo... I actually have TWO WHOLE episodes to post today, so enjoy!

Whoreticulture continues!

iTunes needs to get through her shit, gurl.

2005-08-12T00:08:00.000-07:00

I guess it takes some time for iTunes to set up your podcast... because, now, a day later, my podcast is still not up. I still need to notify everyone about my podcast, and I need to record a second episode... sometime soon. I have plenty of things to talk about (trust me) but I guess it's more finding a good place to do it. It would be best if I were alone, but I always seem to be around at least one other, noisy form of life. Alone-ness would be appreciated.

In other exciting news:
1) I have to get my wisdom teeth pulled in a week. I'm excited to get doped up.
2) I'm going to the club tomorrow with a man-friend of mine. Too bad he's straight as a motha-fuckin' arrow. However, I fully intend to work it like the whore I know I am and get some serious anonymous lay-action.
3) My very good friend Jay recieved the position as GM of Eve Restaraunt in Ann Arbor, MI and, seeing as how it's unequivocally the best resteraunt in A2, I'm happy for him. Now he's being paid the same as my Mom... freaky... So, congrats to Jay. Way ter g', maitre'd!

I'm out. (hee hee hee)

Podcast available! Huzzah for me!

2005-08-10T21:48:00.000-07:00

Whoreticulture #1: The Word is... "Portmanteau"

Podcasts AHOY!!!

"Tag!" You're It!

2005-08-10T19:57:00.000-07:00

It is now becoming almost obscene to create a podcast. Ultimately, the only obscene thing is that I don't really know how to use any of the applications that I have on my computer. Maybe some day soon I'll have the podcast up and running.

Whoreticulture #1: The Word is... "Portmanteau"

2005-08-09T00:16:00.000-07:00

Dear Mr. or Ms. Listener,

The first podcast of Whoreticulture is now officially recorded and unofficially going to be up... Soon? Maybe? Who knows? At this point, who cares? This recording will hopefully be for someone's archival amusement. Archival? Usage? Who cares?

O, the questions. It is the questions that plagues my soul. It is... the questions.

Anyhoo, soon I shall get this RSS shit down and send my little file out into the world. I'm wondering whether I prefer to type or talk. We'll see, huh?

That stylist totally jabbed my neck, and it hurts.

Love,
Hayden

P.S. I noticed that I do this little 'sub-laugh' when I amuse myself with my humor (I say, without a hint of arrogance). What's wrong with one being amused by one's own humor? It's like this sharp breath-in. I don't GET it.

P.P.S. I'm such a catty whore.

iFuck this.

2005-08-08T10:01:00.000-07:00

Introduction to Podcast #1

So, who the fuck made podcasting the fucking hardest thing on the planet? I mean, seriously now. It's all about iTunes this, and iPod that, but just because Steve fucking Jobs puts an "i" before something, does NOT mean that it's easy to do. Shit. I try to have a little iDentity here and all I get is iDick. Granted, I could use a little iDicking in my life, but I digress...

My lazy gay ass would love to click a button and send my podcast out into the world, but apparently I need such newfangled things as an "RSS feed," or a "host account." I just want to talk. I want to be heard. I need to speak. SPEAK, I SAY!

Actually, I'm just shooting the shit waiting for Quicktime Pro to finish download, and I'm honestly in feeling quite vexed. Don't you get the feeling that all of this is just too free? And too open? Like some kid somewhere is going to podcast a bomb-threat and that'll bring some stupid-ass lawsuit, which'll make everything close down? Don't you feel like that could happen with podcasting on iTunes. I mean, everything is pretty accessable. With just an 'explicit' warning, anything can be downloaded by anyone regardless of innocence (if the term still exists). I give it a solid iYear.

My download finished.

2005-08-08T08:49:00.000-07:00

"You can lead a whore to culture, but you can't make her think." - Dorothy Parker