It’ll be fine. I’m confident.

In this episode, Ainsley, Austin & Joe discuss drug use, fast food training videos, and our Live Show at The Space on 28 February 2018.

Topics Include:

Sound quality, Postmates, New Girl, microdosing and acid stories, sushi mistakes, fast food training videos & birth control, weed at school, cigarettes, taco places, our live show, Shaun The Sheep and kids entertainment.

That Vague Educational Redeeming Quality

In this episode, Ainsley, Austin & Joe discuss shitty kids programming, terrible Taco Bell experiences, and our Live Show at The Space on 28 February 2018.

Topics Include:

February 28th 2018, Snooze on Facebook, dating updates, FB ads, Weekend at Bernies II, Follow-up, The Bubble Guppies, The Further Adventures of Walt’s Frozen Head & Escape from Tomorrowland, Disneyland on drugs, Pleasant Gehman’s Monsanto, The Weatherman’s State of the Union Address, Taco Bell & bad orders, catching up with Tide Pods, Peggy’s Vegan Hot Sauce, punk for kids & young bands.

Not Good Enough For Theatrical Release

In this episode, Ainsley, Austin & Joe discuss awful movie franchises, awful Tinder up-dates, and more nonsense regarding how Joe uses Amazon.

* * * * * *

1: “Super healthy.”

“They’re somethin’.”

* * * * * *

2: “I need to do that.”

Recurring Deliver @ Amazon.com

“Watermelons.”

* * * * * *

3: “Right before I got here…”

How would Morgan Freeman narrate your life? (It’s a FB App… be warned.)

“Very apt.”

* * * * * *

4: “Oh no.”

Zo Social AI

“It’s programmed to make spelling mistakes.”

* * * * * *

5: “Microsoft made me late.”

“Stop updating Windows!”

* * * * * *

6: “Zesty Lemon.”

“To offset the aroma that may be in the room.”

* * * * * *

7: “He’s not bad ass enough for a face tattoo.”

Tindr Up-dates.

“An incident the Coast Guards would respond to.”

* * * * * *

8: “Booty Bumping.”

“I guess that’s true.”

* * * * * *

9: “Live, real-time stuff.”

radiofreeamerica.com

radio.garden

“All the German techno you want.”

* * * * * *

10: “Oh Daddy.”

Revenge of The Nerds IV: Nerds In Love

(youtu.be/L4Wk2x5MmIM)

Revenge of The Nerds (in general)

“Straight to TV.”

* * * * * *

11: “I don’t know the chronology.”

Tremors 5: Bloodlines.

(youtu.be/Xu7JMiXSDxw)

“Jamie Kennedy is the hallmark of a really bad film.”

* * * * * *

12: “That’s the best part.”

Why Did We Do This? GoFundMe Page

Homework Follow-Up.

“Damn dirty liar.”

* * * * * *

13: “Do we have a lawyer? Question Mark.”

The American Pie Franchise

Ainsley’s Instagram

Joe’s Instagram

“It’s fuckin’ complicated.”

* * * * * *

14: “Now awful movies are coming up in my Amazon.”

The Road Trip Franchaise

“I don’t know why.”

* * * * * *

15: “Pre-meth candy.”

“I kept the fire going.”

Timberwinds

In this short episode, Ainsley, Austin & Joe discuss Joe’s visit to Corbett, Oregon.

* * * * * *

1: “Suspicious Premises.”

Corbett, Oregon Wikipedia Page

CorbettOregon.com

Corbett Oregon Forum

“Do they measure things in meths?”

This Is What The Internet Was Made For

In this episode, Ainsley, Austin & Joe discuss Tinder dating, cabin occupying, and more shitty TV shows we’re watching.

* * * * * *

1: “Fucking finally.”

“So smoothly and well.”

* * * * * *

2: “How many tattoos?”

Swipe & Wipe

“First come, first served.”

* * * * * *

3: “Who the fuck carries cash anymore?”

“That’s why I’m bad at buying merchandise at shows.”

* * * * * *

4: “True Story”

Billy Ray’s Dive

“Not to be confused with Billy Reeds.”

* * * * * *

5: “I almost spit taked.”

Rachel Ray Cat Food

“tractersupply.com: still loading.”

* * * * * *

6: “I just don’t know.”

The Living End

youtu.be/VVtD4qMy5Hc

“Is this Cherry Poppin’ Daddies, is that what I’m looking at?”

* * * * * *

7: “I remember that now.”

Bands playing under other names, Weezer factoid.

“weezersuperfan86”

* * * * * *

8: “It seems to come and go.”

Psychobilly

The Cramps

Kogar’s Jungle Juice (Blog)

“weezersuperfan86”

* * * * * *

9: “20 minutes worth of actual content.”

Why Did We Do This? GoFundMe Page

Riverdale

“No spoilers, because: now we know that Pop is in the show.”

* * * * * *

10: “As is our prerogative in this state.”

Antlers Guard Station

Alt National Park Service

Whitney, Oregon

The Painted Hills

“No one else if fuckin’ funding that shit.”

* * * * * *

11: “Oh my god, why?”

Joe’s Hiking Story.

“I was kinda confused.”

* * * * * *

12: “The Why Did We Do This? Retreat”

“Get our minds right.”

* * * * * *

13: “These people are absolutely insane and I love them.”

Sovereign Citizen Movement

“Weird, dim idea.”

* * * * * *

14: “I’m too lazy.”

“My shoes are literally not shoes anymore.”

* * * * * *

15: “Somehow, zombies attack.”

iZombie

“She eats the victims brains and starts acting like a frat boy.”

* * * * * *

16: “Psychic crimes solving going on.”

Tru Calling

Zach Galifianakis

Bubble Boy

youtu.be/jSRU48wCphI

“Every nerd boy likes her.”

* * * * * *

17: “Real loser type dudes.”

“Shit that dudes would say.”

* * * * * *

18: “What the fuck is happening right now?”

“You don’t even take this job seriously.”

A Truly Magical Era

In this episode, Ainsley, Austin & Joe discuss fad diets, beer for dogs, things found in the weird parts of the internet, unfortunately named bands, reinventions of older things, community theater and improv, and a number of podcasts.

* * * * * *

1: Ainsley’s List

“What’s that place called?”

* * * * * *

2: “These people are clearly delusional.”

Breatharians

Snopes Article on Breatharians

(cough cough) “I feel fine.”

* * * * * *

3: “We can’t afford to live there, it was too cool for us.”

Mod Pizza

Tin Shed

Dog Lover’s Night At Tin Shed

“This is so fucking Portland.”

* * * * * *

4: “You’re never alone if you’re drinking with your dog.”

Beer For Dogs

“This drink contains no alcohol.”

* * * * * *

5: “The Golden Age of The Internet.”

“It literally doesn’t load.”

* * * * * *

6: “The natural extension of all the S&M bullshit of the 90’s.”

youtu.be/ohnuyqJyEW0

“There’s a very big sexuality component.”

* * * * * *

7: “I go to the weird part of the internet.”

“Please don’t send me a photo of that.”

* * * * * *

8: “I want to have safe search on.”

Come

Abe Vigoda / CP Split Single.

Anal Cunt

Angry Samoans

“You couldn’t do Anal Cunt now.”

* * * * * *

9: “How many original members?”

Dead Kennedys

Germs

Black Flag

youtu.be/UcUY8Jjr9kI

“The worlds biggest karaoke band.”

* * * * * *

10: “I was so pissed off by the end.”

youtu.be/CXuGLswn2l0

“It was a shot for shot remake.”

* * * * * *

11: “More water from that stone.”

“You’ve seen a few people take advantage of this.”

* * * * * *

12: “Almost moral-less.”

Friends

All In The Family

Will & Grace

“I’ve never seen it.”

* * * * * *

13: “It’s so well observed.”

The Nanny

Cancer Schmancer by Fran Drescher

This Is Spinal Tap

Waiting For Guffman

“Oh shit, I’ve heard it’s good.”

* * * * * *

14: “My nephew’s an understudy for a tree.”

“Fine.”

* * * * * *

15: “Hard pass.”

ComedySportz Portland

“Is this an improv thing?”

* * * * * *

16: “Steal Their Bits.”

Will & Bobby Know Everything

“I’m still on their Patreon.”

* * * * * *

17: “Yeah, that’s funny.”

“Yell out suggestions from the audience.”

* * * * * *

18: “A therapy session for small time comedians.”

The Podchaost

“Trying to work out how to be better.”

* * * * * *

19: “Audio drama.”

We’re Alive

Leviathan Chronicles

The Byron Chronicles

The Adventure Zone

“It’s pretty good.”

* * * * * *

20: “Boing.”

“Boing.”

* * * * * *

21: “Gobs and gobs.”

Old Movies on YouTube: youtube.com/results?search_query=old+movies

“I get into some weird shit on YouTube.”

* * * * * *

22: “No map, no food and no nothing.”

The Long Dark

“Just like in real life.”

* * * * * *

23: “She’s great.”

Zoë Keating

Zoë’s Appearance on What’s This Called? in 2006

Zoë’s Appearance on Radiolab

“Pretty cool.”

* * * * * *

24: “Like we are in this moment.”

Dr. Frank Interview w/ Austin on KPSU

The “Why Did We Do This?” Content Boost gofundme Page.

(gofundme.com/why-did-we-do-this-content-boost)

“Talking about the show in a meta context.”

A Parody By Existing

In this episode, Ainsley, Austin & Joe discuss terrible (and questionable) food and food related items, Song Poems, Parody Movies, and other shitty things we thought about this week.

* * * * * *

1: #2 Intro

“I had to turn on my computer on.”

* * * * * *

2: “Leave ’em wanting more.”

Just Kitten (facebook.com/werejustkitten)

“No shit, me too.”

* * * * * *

3: “It sounds bad even describing it.”

The Whopperito

Mac n’ Cheetos

How to Make Burger King’s Mac n’ Cheetos at Home by Popsugar

“A largely negative reception.”

* * * * * *

4: “The devil’s condiment.”

Heinz’s Chicago Dog Sauce

Heinz Ez Squirt Ketchup Ads

(youtu.be/7gSaQw5RSd0)

“…On Food!”

* * * * * *

5: “Everything had to be extreme.”

Terry Crews Old Spice Commercials (youtu.be/Hq2SlCja3zo)

“Everything had to be yelled.”

* * * * * *

6: “Who would ever use these recipes?”

Manifold Destiny Cookbook

White Trash Cooking

“How does it have 4 1/2 stars?”

* * * * * *

7: “That fucking franchise.”

Minions Water Balloons

Burlap Sacks

“I’m fascinated by all their merchandise.”

* * * * * *

8: “How is that good?”

Goober Grape PB & J

“Oh no!”

* * * * * *

9: “Earn Money For You!”

Off the Charts: The Song-Poem Story

American Song-Poem Music (archives)

“Absolutely bananas.”

* * * * * *

10: “The ones on this tape were bad.”

(youtu.be/DA9Rfrj74Rg)

“Let me tell you a story that took place before the Internet.”

* * * * * *

11: “The title alone just grosses me out.”

Walk Hard

(youtu.be/4yzjtnj8Y3U)

“24 minutes worth of content.”

* * * * * *

12: “It’s so painfully ’80’s.”

Mac And Me.

(youtu.be/uQOtLBCQCpI)

(youtu.be/FVFyi0-bazU)

“I’ma pop the trailer on for this.”

* * * * * *

13: “I was not socially aware enough to hate the government.”

The Last Starfighter.

(youtu.be/H7NaxBxFWSo)

“The government’s gonna kidnap you if you’re good at video games.”

* * * * * *

14: “Who could possibly be scared of this?”

Jaws, Alien, Child’s Play, Sphere, & Fear.

“You can’t even finish that sentence.”

* * * * * *

15: “Nothing works.”

“It’s probably Windows.”

* * * * * *

16: “That would never be made now.”

Falling Down.

(youtu.be/fjNQMpxVk_4)

LA Weekly: 25 Years Later, Does America Get That Michael Douglas is The Villain, Not The Victim of Falling Down?

“This is basically half of Trump’s supporters.”

* * * * * *

17: “Mid-90’s Weirdness.”

Hackers.

(youtu.be/Ql1uLyuWra8)

“That is not how this works.”

* * * * * *

18: “All of the streaming.”

“I’m paying for Stars, I guess that’s a thing

* * * * * *

19: “She’s pretty dope, ain’t she?”

The “Why Did We Do This?” Content Boost gofundme Page.

(gofundme.com/why-did-we-do-this-content-boost)

“Why would I not want to listen to myself talk?”

A Monument To Failure

In this episode, Ainsley, Austin & Joe discuss dad-joke clothing options, Archie Comics, what’s weird about suburbs, and bad drinking experiences.

* * * * * *

1 & 2: “Dogs!” / The Douchebar

The Westgate

“It’s really nice.”

* * * * * *

3: “Get it?”

Big Dog Sportswear

“We were really worried about where your mind was going to live, dude.”

* * * * * *

4: The BBC

BadBoyClub.com

Bad Boy Brand on Wikipedia

youtu.be/gviwHxRpqww

“The tough kid version of a boy band.” (badboyclub.com/skin/frontend/default/badboyclub/images/about_page_picture.jpg)

“The t-shirt that goes to 11.”

* * * * * *

5: “Real-Time Follow-Up”

Joe’s not dead.

The “Why Did We Do This?” Content Boost gofundme Page.

(gofundme.com/why-did-we-do-this-content-boost)

“Hyphen Fuck You.”

* * * * * *

6: “That’s what’s weird about suburbs.”

Cedar Hills Crossing Mall

Beaverton

youtube.com/playlist?list=PLNz4Un92pGNxQ9vNgmnCx7dwchPJGJ3IQ

DeadMalls.com

Used To Be A Pizza Hut (usedtobeapizzahut.blogspot.com)

The Spyce Gentlemen’s Club in Eugene, OR.  (Used To Be A Pizza Hut)

“There’s white people food there.”

* * * * * *

7: “I wanna come in and get my buch and leave.”

Unstaffed, Self-Service Kombucha Shop in SE Portland, OR.

Soma Kombucha Taproom (3777 Southeast Belmont)

“Friendly Staff.”

* * * * * *

7: Archie Digest

ArchieComics.com

Kevin Keller, Archie’s Queer Character.

Riverdale on Netflix

youtu.be/HxtLlByaYTc

“Use promo code ‘SURVEY16’ to receive 30% off your Archie Comics Subsription.”

* * * * * *

8 & 9: Homework

The Thick of It

Ainsley loves The Doctor.

We, As A Culture, Looked The Other Way

In this episode, Ainsley, Austin & Joe discuss the career of The Jerky Boys (and Johnny Brennan), ordering Class Rings, more terrible kids toys, and the thousands of hours of old radio recordings that are available at your fingertips on archive.org.

* * * * * *

1: “Get out of my room!”

“My hyper computer here.”

* * * * * *

2: “The comic sans of comedy.”

The Jerky Boys

https://youtu.be/g0Hgmvdv624

Johnny Brennan Personal Audio CD: $150

“Notable instruments: Vocals.”

* * * * * *

3 & 4: “Joe Might Die” / “Censored in iTunes”

“We even have the explicit tag on our show.”

* * * * * *

5: “People who peaked in High School.”

jostens.com

Joe’s Ring

“Pick ‘sunburst’ for the stone cut.”

* * * * * *

6: “From the makers of Pepsi.”

Pepsi Fire.

1893 Cola.

“For making mixed drinks at home.”

* * * * * *

7: “Sock ’em Boppers or Socker Boppers?”

“Bop all night.”

* * * * * *

8: “2800 miles in 4 days.”

“Do we live in a country where health care is possible?”

* * * * * *

 9: “Plus: Free Fun Guide.”

Easy Einstein Balloons.

“They don’t even have their own website.”

* * * * * *

10: “Supremely Disorganized.”

The Billboard Music App

Note: Austin was wrong.  This app is not available for Android.  There is only an iPhone version.

“Not mobile friendly.”

* * * * * *

11: “Don’t die, Joe.”

 * * * * * *

12: “These really weird corners of the Internet.”

Old Time Radio on Archive.org

Old Time Radio in iTunes

The Wayback Machine

The Complete Broadcast Day (21 September 1939)

The Red Panda Adventures

“Can we get some Dragnet on my phone?”

* * * * * *

13: “What is .mp3 juice?”

American Aquarium is the band we looked at.  (To the right.)

“I don’t even know what that is.”

* * * * * *

14: “He’d call someone up and say…”

“Our gofundme is $152.99”

* * * * * *

15: Waiting for Joe (edit)

(tape warbles due to batteries running out…)

10,000 Years Ago

In this episode, Ainsley, Austin & Joe discuss The Day After Tomorrow, people who still have an AOL Account, dietary supplements that are actually pyramid schemes, and give you another update from the Billboard Hard Rock Music Charts.

* * * * * *

1, 2, 3: “I’m stubborn.” / “Yay, working shit.” / Where the franchise jumped the drift.”

“It’s all anybody uses.”  “I was probably accurate, and then something happened.”  “The Postman would be way better with Snake Plisskin.”

* * * * * *

4: “A smooth and elegant glide”

Crass Fidget Spinner

Midtown Direct LLC has OG, locally made Fidgets for sale.

* * * * * *

5: “There are wolves in this movie?”

youtu.be/jBD9EkOLgiI

Google: Jake Gylingall killing hipsters =

youtu.be/pt9wnawn7xQ

“Don’t watch it now.”

* * * * * *

6: “Here’s a website that still exists.”

AOL.com

“I hella did.”

* * * * * *

7: “These statements have not been evaluated by the food & drug administration.”

sabaforlife.com

herbalife.com

Betting On Zero (Netflix, 2017)

youtu.be/z-jrALajXrI

builtwith.com

“They weird me out.”

* * * * * *

8 & 9: “Package coming soon.”

56K Modem Speed Information. (Last section.)

“Why 56K modems are not really 56K.”

* * * * * *

10: “Why is the Singles Soundtrack on the hard rock charts?”

A glimpse at the Billboard Hard Rock Music Charts.

“It can’t be real.”

* * * * * *

 11: “How are these things money making?”

“Get ’em out of here, quick.”

* * * * * *

12: “How can this be?  Why?”

youtu.be/G3T6r6-rBJ0

“This trailer is 90% the original movie.”

* * * * * *

13: “Homework assignments.”

“The part time job of having to watching Seinfeld.”

You Can Buy The Stupidest Shit

In this episode, Ainsley, Austin & Joe discuss fidgets spinners & other shitty kids toys, food you can buy from eBay, and give you an update from the Billboard Hard Rock Music Charts from this week.

* * * * * *

1: “Google: Cascade Locks vegan”

Recent Searches, Shut Up, The-Intertubes

* * * * * *

2: “Oatmeal Raisin Fidget Spinners”

youtu.be/w4M9EwYkif8

youtu.be/s2IXD3mX48w

“This is a terrible, terrible idea.”

* * * * * *

3: “Butt of Course.”

GlowFYourself Fidget Spinner Butt Plugs.  

“Meme it to death.”

OG Fidgets That Austin Remembered from the ’90’s.

* * * * * *

4: “Not for beginners.”

youtu.be/npmhVBbch_Q

Skip Fit Exercise Item.

“Nobody’s gonna make fun of you in the park.”

* * * * * *

5: “She seems into it.”

youtu.be/x7PsVQH6lCQ

“It’s like cigarettes, you gotta get ’em real early.”

* * * * * *

6: “What we underestimated is the drug called MDMA.”

youtu.be/l7DiwUlnBt4

“Rich nerds are fucking up the world.”

* * * * * *

7: Hit Sticks, Devils Sticks & Hacky Sack

Devils Sticks

Hacky Sack

“This is hippy nonsense.”

* * * * * *

8: “Buy It Now”

Homemade Cookies on eBay

Homemade Cake on eBay

Homemade Bread on eBay

Homemade Jerky on eBay

Homemade Slime on eBay

“If it’s not new it’s not delicious.”

* * * * * *

9: “Avocado Creep”

youtu.be/vG_93ERZgoQ

Avocado Hand

“You know Tom Cruise is the origin of this.”

* * * * * *

10: “I found a website that unfortunately doesn’t exist anymore.”

The endless ocean of thrift stories, PDX Slot Car Racing Discussion Boards (defunct), other horrifying kids toys, Furbies & Teddy Ruxpin, Evil Cult & The Sequel, “Who has Netflix DVDs?”, “Where is: Welcome to my activity?”

“We will spend money to terrorize ourselves.”

* * * * * *

11: “Clearly people have not stopped believing.”

A glimpse at the Billboard Hard Rock Music Charts.

Take The Money And Run (“The Pilot”)

In this episode, Joe makes Austin & Ainsley play a game where they must guess how much a movie has made by watching the trailer.

* * * * * *

Part I: “The plot sounds like a Weezer video.”

Bio-Dome (1996)

youtu.be/4EWikCCfHJw

* * * * * *

Part II: “I’m not very good with my Costner-isms.”

The Postman (1997)

“Those who survive are few.” That’s a bummer.

youtu.be/bPxBW1Ox13Q

* * * * * *

Part III: “Shit’s workin’ now.”

Waterworld (1995)

* * * * * *

Part IV: “I’ve got Important Shit To Do.”

* * * * * *

Part V: “I forgot how racist this movie is.”

Cool Runnings (1993)

youtu.be/3gMWY5bT1cY (German Version)

youtu.be/wLlmymHRNZg (English)

* * * * * *

Part VI: “I am disappointed in both of you.

* * * * * *

Part VII: “Larry David was the original Geico caveman.”

Clear History (2013)

youtu.be/iIrYd6fVpL8

* * * * * *

Part VIII: “Johnny Cash’s Mortal Kombat“

Mortal Kombat (1995)

youtu.be/CYHDk36twK4

“It’s pretty TV cheesy.”

* * * * * *

Part IX: “The Carray Canon.”

The Mask (1994)

youtu.be/hOqVRwGVUkA

Son of The Mask (2005)

youtu.be/Z4e2EBYu3l0

“Woah. A real movie.”