Why Women Are Whores

Why Be a Whore? Sure Beats Not Being One

whywomenarewhores@gmail.com (Edward Nigma) — Mon, 21 Sep 2009 13:57:00 +0000

Women are whores. At least the majority of them. But why? Why be whores? Why the motherfuck are women whores? This entire site is dedicated to exploring that pre-historic enigma. From the first caveman that clubbed a whore and dragged her back to his cave, to the S-Class driving professional who keeps one in the front and 3 in the back, men have always dealt with whores.

But could there, * GASP *, be benefits to being a whore? Is it possible that whores do have more fun? Yes. You're goddamn right whores are getting theirs.

Let's start with the broke financially-challenged whores. You see these classy gals when you accidentally turn down the wrong street and into the wrong hood. Usually, they're young and dressed like cheap hookers. Fat asses, mushroom stomachs, etc. And they usually have an arm attachment or three. Babies I mean. Are they whores with benefits? Let's see.

Knocked up at age 15? Check. On welfare? Check.
Child support? Check. Nails done? Check.
Cell phone? Check. New shoes? Check. Rent paid? Check.

Job? Fuck no. The baby's daddy pays for his crotch-derived mishap for the next 18 years, including of course, all of the baby's mama's material needs. Whore benefits? Motherfucking check. And I keep paying taxes. Fuck.

Then we have the middle-class whores. Obviously, dressed better and smart enough NOT to get preggers early on in life, and instead try to get an education. Still, these ladies hit the College scene like a motherfucking hurricane. Ask anyone at Arizona State, Colorado U, OSU, Florida State, any College. Whores abound in College. And even after College, in the working world, whores (at least decent looking whores) find job hunting a breeze. They become someone's eye candy and get paid a salary. Climbing the corporate ladder, one whore-rung at a time.

And of course, let's not forget the pinnacle of whore existence, the pampered wives. From Beverly Hills to the Hamptons, these whores do right by their Husbands (who are usually business moguls, athletes, or politicians). They were smart enough to bet on the right horse, and they get to ride that fucker till the Gucci loafers fall off. I see them everyday in the rich suburbs. They shop all day and take long lunches with their whore friends. It's like winning the whore lottery.

Chumps are plentiful in the world. And if a whore knows what she's doing, she's got herself a motherfucking meal ticket.

You may be a Whore if....You're a Teacher

whywomenarewhores@gmail.com (Edward Nigma) — Tue, 08 Sep 2009 23:18:00 +0000

Teachers. Fucking teachers. When I was a just a young lad, I had crushes on some serious pieces of ass. I remember just being utterly infatuated with how beautiful they were. I wouldn't know what to do with them, but I wanted to do something. There was my fourth grade teacher, who had green eyes and a figure to rival the 80s Vanna White. Then there was the student teacher in fifth grade. Blonde and in her early twenties, exuberant and enthusiastic. Then there was a sixth grade student teacher, who wore short skirts and enticed my pants. Oh and high school, walking around pitching a tent because your Spanish Teacher is fucking en fuego is not funny. Especially is she makes it clear that there will be no extracurricular anything.

But nowadays, the winds of change have swept through. Young female teachers are snatching up boy students in a frenzy. From Coast to Coast, I keep hearing news reports of young, some attractive, school teachers befriending and later descending upon some "lucky" youngsters. Obviously, it's wrong in so many ways, but for the teenage kid, nothing could feel so right. Story after story, some new whore is caught manipulating and abusing some teenage boy.

That's not all young teachers do.

I've ran into several elementary school teachers who don't fish for Fry. But they're still predators in their own right. For example, a few years back, I met a young blonde somewhere along the way. By the second time we met, she was back at my place playing hide and seek. And she was clearly well trained. She quickly told me she had other men, and that I'm just for fun. Then she told me she was a sixth grade teacher. And she would text me dirty things from class. I mean dirty.

Then a buddy of mine met a bartender. Brunette, dressed like a bartender at a club would dress. She gave him a few great nights. And some other guys we knew as well. And we soon found out that she was a school teacher by day, whore by night.

My latest endeavor: a Spanish teacher. High School Spanish. And ridiculously hot. But the term pornstar would not do her justice. She once texted me to get involved in a gangbang. I obviously declined as I cannot allow another man's penis in the same room when I am fornicating. But God was she a whore. "Slap me with your dick" kind of whore.

These are the young ladies ~~distracting~~ educating our youth.

Women Know Other Women Are Whores

whywomenarewhores@gmail.com (Edward Nigma) — Fri, 04 Sep 2009 22:12:00 +0000

Read that title again. Women Know that Other Women Are Whores. Let it sink in for a moment. Did something just click in your head? It should have. Because women are the best at recognizing a whore. Flat the fuck out best.

When I was a kid, I learned early on that women do not get along. They make friends with other like minded girls, but they fucking socially murder any girl not within their clique. And like cannibals, they will turn on each other. And if a guy is involved somehow, well that makes for some great entertainment.

Women naturally, secretly, hate each other. They compete for our affection and attention. They want us, and the best that we as men, have to offer. It's natural for even the most independent woman to crave cock. And not just any cock. But Superman cock. And that's why I expend so muck "ink" here trying to get men to be the motherfucking best they can be. Because you can turn an average women into a whore instantly by just being a man. But I digress.

Whenever I am out with a lady friend, they will automatically scope every scene out for potential threats. They will quickly point out and judge any woman that dare dresses skankier than her. But then, she can point to a professionally dressed woman and tell me that she just blew three guys in the bathroom and is planning three more before the night's out. It's like radar. They can smell a whore.

Why is this important? Because, we as men need to harness this whorey-sense for our benefit. We should be able to spot 'em and drop 'em. And as it stands right now, I know very few guys that can do that. Whorey-sense is vital because you want to know that your girl won't be milking the mailman while you're playing desk jockey. You want to be confident that even on your worst day, your woman will refrain from playing with another man's balls and will support you. And you need whorey-sense for that.

Whorey-sense can be had in two ways. First, you develop it as a man. You're around enough women long enough that you start to just feel when a whore is around. Like your pants start tingling. That's some Jedi shit that few can master.

The second is to keep a stable of women friends. These women serve mutiple purposes in your life. They have natural whorey-sense that you can rely on to ensure your girlfriend is of pure heart. And when you don't have a girlfriend, they go out with you so whores can be attracted to you. And they also provide some much needed "comfort" during those dreaded "dry" spells. Either way, you fucking win.

Whorey-sense. For the contemporary ~~superhero~~ dickslinger.

Somewhere, an IT Geek Shudders

whywomenarewhores@gmail.com (Edward Nigma) — Thu, 03 Sep 2009 19:27:00 +0000

Boom bitches. WWAW is motherfucking back. Something happened. I might have accidentally deleted the blog. Some geek might have hacked my shit. These things happen. And WWAW was off the net and dead to the world. Then, like a whore rising from the bed, WWAW is re-awakened.

It's time for the motherfucking Rapture bitches. Here's hoping you've been to confession recently.

Bear with me while I fix whatever happened. I'll turn my attention back to the whores in short order.

Thank you loyal readers for not abandoning WWAW.

Perfecting the Art of Cockblock

whywomenarewhores@gmail.com (Edward Nigma) — Tue, 18 Aug 2009 01:50:00 +0000

Hi there. My name is Fat Whore. I'm sure you've heard of me. I like to befriend hot girls so I can motivate myself to be more like them. But I live in a fantasy world where I am completely happy being fat and a whore. You know guys like more cushion for the pushin'. That's why I'm so jolly!! I like to dress like a skinny girl. You know, tight pants, shirt revealing my midriff, thong showing when I sit down. Oh and showing cleavage is a must!! You have to keep the boys wanting more!!!

I'm the leading cause of erectile dysfunction in males 18-30 years of age.

I'm everywhere. You can find me on a beach, in the cubicle next to yours, in traffic, at a restaurant next to you, at your neighborhood bar, at the strip club, and even at victoria's secret!!I can be found anywhere people are having fun. Only, I'm not there for fun. I tag along with my hot friends to make sure they don't have too much fun. I like to keep a close eye on them. God I hate when guys interrupt our fun!! If my hot friend starts making out with a guy, I get even more protective because now I know she's drunk. I like to wait until the end of the night when she wants to go home with the guy to swoop in and provide some blue balls for the lucky guy. They don't call me Cathy Cockblock for nothing!! My hot friend thanks me for it in the morning because it might have been a bad decision, but secretly loathes me because she's still horny. God, what would they do without me?

I invented beer goggles.

I'm usually designated driver, but when I'm not, watch out!! I like to drink hard and fast. And I'm deifnitely the most boisterous girl in my group! I love to get on the dance floor and grind on insanely drunk guys. And I love taking shots!!! Oh, and I looooove putting a shot glass between my saggy fat boobs and begging guys to do body shots. And a burrito after the club is fucking mandatory!!

I am a living walk of shame.

If any guy even looks in my general direction, I make sure to let him know I'm open for business. When he's filthy drunk and stumbling, that's my cue. He's ready for me! I put him over my shoulder and into a cab we go! My place is a mess, but that's because I'm a fat whore. Guys understand. At least at night they do. Just like most other fat girls, I'm fucking awesome in bed. Really, it's not a myth! I love to blow cock. Tastes like sausage!!! When morning comes, I pray he stays so I can fuck him again. So I lay on top of him so he can't leave!!!

I'm the master of manipulation, and therefore, indispensable to hot girls.

I'm the friend that's been there for a dozen years.

I'm the friend that my hot friends rely on for everything!

I like eating and finding drunk skinny guys to rape.

I tried dieting, and I lost some weight, but I'm still just a fat whore on the inside!

I'm a fat fucking whore.

Fuck you fat whores.

The Player's Club - Honorary Members

whywomenarewhores@gmail.com (Edward Nigma) — Sun, 16 Aug 2009 17:33:00 +0000

I often write about how much I love women and that certain whores are actually acceptable, depending on a man's tolerance level. The way I see things is we two have types of beings: Whores and Players. Both words lend themselves to multiple definitions and any attempt to narrow the term(s) to fit a person's prejudices/agenda will ultimately only lead to Palin-esque confusion and failure. To keep it simple, we can just call women whores and men players. Obviously, both men and women can crossover, but that is done on a case by case basis.

Which brings me to my point in this post. Today, we induct our first female members into the Player's Club. Before I get to that, let's discuss why I chose these ladies. There's obviously criteria to satisfy prior to acceptance. Not every whore qualifies. It takes a special kind of whore. And these are whores who have embraced life and live it to the fullest. More importantly, they are much more than the whores we're used to seeing among the unwashed masses. These are women in their own right and are proud of it. With these women, we as men are on notice that they are independent, flashy, and the motherfucking, self-proclaimed, shit. They read this blog, enjoy it, and as far as I know, understand it. They are even regular readers of my blog, encouraging me to bring whoreism to light.

They aren't celebrities, but real life whores. They make no apologies for globetrotting and enjoying sex. They have serious goals in mind yet they live the fast life. They have no qualms about getting silly drunk in public. They have boytoys and serious relationships. And I am almost certain they will fuck your brains out if you are lucky enough. They remind me of some of my female friends. Players with vaginas.

Who are these supremely filthy whores who dare blur the lines between whore and player? They call themselves Lilo, The Alleged Ringleader, and ShamWOW. And they author The Mean Girls Guide to Glory. With topics such as "Marking your Territory," these ladies demonstrate that they are much more than mere whores. And they're fucking hilarious.

Unfortunately, ladies, you are still women, and therefore, still susceptible to being a slave to your emotions. Hopefully, you'll keep it in check and continue being the acceptable whores that we as men covet.

Welcome to the motherfucking Player's Club ladies.

Whore Aftermath - What to do after Discovering She's a Whore

whywomenarewhores@gmail.com (Edward Nigma) — Fri, 14 Aug 2009 22:08:00 +0000

Many posts here on WWAW deal with, well, why women are whores and how to spot one in your house. I think it's about time we discuss what happens after you find a whore in your house. It's surprising, but many guys fall into a sort of depression after being boob-slapped by their girlfriend. They refuse to go out. They sit at home and marinate in their self-pity. Day after day, night after night, crying over some lost whore. Sad, but true, a cheating girlfriend/spouse is a monstrous blow to the male ego, which says a lot for women and the power they hold.

So let's say one of your buddies calls you and informs you that your girl is with another guy at the bar. Or worse yet, making out with some guy in the parking lot. Or even worse, you find a used magnum under your bed and you can't fit a magnum? Do you find that fucker and slap that guy senseless? Absolutely not.

Never, never, ever, blame the guy. Unless he's being a douchebag and taunting you. Instead of blaming him, and instead of getting all riled up over her, the best thing to do a take a deep breath, get the phone out, and call a girl or two. In other words, go get a blowjob. Ask nicely enough, and any girl will gladly fellate you.

Obviously, this is easier said than done for most men. But the point here is that a man should not dwell on the cheating ways of his former girl. He should not replay what went wrong and why she fucked that guy in his truck doggystyle. Asking questions like that is like trying to find the meaning of life. You''ll only end up more confused and, if you're not careful, you'll end up detached from reality on some suicide mission in a desert.

Reality is what you need. You need to see that she is not the only girl in the world. In fact, there's fucking hundreds of millions of them. And you'll find another one in a heartbeat. Trust me on this one. Scroll down to the end of this post. I bet she'll make you forget a whore.

So if you can't get a blowjob right away, then figure out what you can do and do it. If it means hitting the gym, then go push some goddamn weights. If it means working until your bank account gives birth to a Ferrari, then so be it. The point is, get busy and forget her. Whatever it is that you decided to do, do it. Then go out with your guys and have a good time. Go to strip clubs, go to bars, go to fucking rodeos. Just go and do shit. The more you go out and have fun, the more likely it is that a whore or two will take notice. And then, boo yow! 3 am and you're playing hide and seek the cock with the whore.

The moral of the story here is that a man should never dwell on a whore. You can't control what a whore will do at any given point. If she was less than forthcoming with you, it's not your fault. As much as you think you love her, trust me, there's another one out there that will do things to you that your daddy can only dream of. You just need to go find her. And her friends. In time, you'll never think of that old whore again.

Women are fucking beautiful and they can be found everywhere. And while you sit and moan over that one "special" whore, men everywhere are enjoying the spoils of their hunt. It's amazing how new women give you temporary memory loss. The bottom line is: either you get in the game or be a waterboy. Your choice.

Remember, the gamechangers get the ladies.

Don't Be a Douchebag

whywomenarewhores@gmail.com (Edward Nigma) — Thu, 06 Aug 2009 13:43:00 +0000

Women are whores. But men can be serious fucking douchebags.

I'm turning my attention away from the whores for a moment to address something that bothered the fuck out of me when I read it. Some numbnuts in Pennsylvania took it upon himself to shoot up an LA Fitness, specifically targeting (and killing) women. What the fuck.

Gentlemen, this is a sad story in many ways. We have a man gone ridiculously wrong, and we have perfectly serviceable women who lay dead. I've read this guy's blog, and read the news stories, and can only come to one conclusion: he suffered from douchebagius megamus.

For you laymen out there, that he means he was a colossal douchebag. Why? Because he validated his existence on women's approval (or disapproval). This need to be validated consumed his every move, and eventually led to his demise. And he fucking took women with him. Douchebag.

Fuck him. He gets no sympathy from me. He bitches and whines in his blog about his brother bullying him and his mom being too dominant. Fuck you Mr. Douchebag. Try growing up in an urban jungle, where your next turn could lead to your last turn. Try living with an alcoholic father or better yet, an absent father. Ask any inner city kid, life is fucking tough. But that doesn't give you license to blame your woes on some random person and end their life.

To prevent this kind of douchebaggery from occurring again, I'm offering to you gentlemen a guide on how NOT to be a douchebag, and save your life in the process (and the life of valuable women in the process). This is in no particular order.

1. Be the Best Motherfucking Man You Can Be.

Don't fucking focus on women. Focus on your life. Be a fucking man at everything you do. If you are a software developer, develop the shit out of that software. Make it come fucking alive. Focus on your shit. Everything you do should be to achieve some inner goal. Don't let anything stand in your way.

The guy that shot those women repeatedly said he feared being laid off, but then he got a promotion. He moaned and moaned about work. Fuck that bs. Blaze your own path. Man up and develop a plan to do something if you're not happy. If that means opening a fucking smoothie stand in Florida, then so be it. Just have some fucking ambition.

Whores flock to ambition like its a fucking Coach bag fire sale. They love it when a man can fucking hold his own and then some. They like men who own shit, work on shit, and do shit. They hate losers and they bore easily.

If you focus on the fact that you haven't been laid in 30 years, then you're fucking asking for Satan to come knocking. Be a man, garner some ambition, and build yourself a fucking life.

2. Exude Confidence.

Any man worth his salt understands that women don't react well to overaggressive types who try to marry them after the first date. Worse yet, though they like older men, they HATE that old creepy fuck in the corner. They lose their panties around guys that exude confidence. Whores love a guy that knows he doesn't need the validation of a woman. That's been proven time and time again.

That douchebag kept crying that everyone thought he was a nice guy, good looking, but couldn't get laid. If you think like that, it projects to every whore you meet. Whores are very adept and can smell it if you're awkward or off-center. Fuck being a nice guy. Nice guys don't even finish.

How do you attain confidence? Stop being such a bitch. Wake up, grab some breakfast, tell yourself that you are a man, and go on about your business. It's all in your head. If you act like you are the cock of the walk, your cock will thank you. It's not hard.

Go buy some new clothes, including a nice, clean, three piece suit. Put that shit in your closet for some occasion. Wash your piece of shit car, or get a new car. Take a shower and shave. Walk out that door every morning smelling like sex panther. Walk with your chest out and your head held high. And most importantly, keep telling yourself that you don't need anyone's approval. You are a fucking man. You approve them.

Exude motherfucking confidence.

3. Be Positive

This is a fucking must. Negativity projects like that stank from a whore's cooch. If you continuously have negative thoughts and beliefs, then you will be a douchebag for life. Women hate negativity.

Thinking positive is easy. My client didn't pay me today? Worse, I can't land any clients? Fuck it, I'm going to make it happen. See how easy that was. And you'd be surprised how that shit would be made to happen.

More importantly, your positive attitude will be noticed and rewarded by whores. They like men who smile and are generally happy. That's normal to them. Not creepy. Always remain positive, and your dick will be in a vaginal paradise in short order.

4. Get Rich Bitch

This isn't for everyone. You need to keep it in perspective. And I've noticed that my poorest days are/were my happiest days. But money is a fucking bonus. If you made it past 30 without getting married, kudos to you. But let's be realistic here. Unless you're already doing what this list dictates, you might be the next 49 year old creepy fuck.

Old poor guys do not get whores. If you are going to grow old and chase twenty-somethings, you need cash money. Whores are an expensive habit. And you better have a fucking boat, condo, and banging BMW to get you laid on a weekly basis.

Twenty-something whores are still developing mentally. They like older men, but the young men still entice them for marriage purposes. They aren't sure it's ok to be sexually open, so they hide their whore ways. They go on nice vacations and go clubbing and bar-hopping. They party like it's their job. And if you want to hang in that atmosphere, you had better come equipped.

Being a TPS reporting software developer isn't going to get you anywhere unless you have a horse cock or deadly tongue game. Money makes the whore go round. Go out and make that cash money. You'll not only get what you want when you want it, but you'll also notice whores coming around more often. Just remember to keep it in perspective. Gold-diggers do not a wife make.

5. Get Some Fucking Girlfriends

The number one way to pique a whore's attention is to be with another knockout whore. Those guys that tell you that men and women cannot be friends is fucking your girlfriend. And her friends. I'm speaking from personal experience. Most whores who read this blog won't believe this, but I have a fucking bevy of girls who I routinely go out with, and I get noticed like a motherfucking white man in South Central.

The biggest advantage of keeping lady friends is that you are instantly vouched for. When a whore sees you with another whore, you are not that creepy old fuck. Obviously, if you are 50 and with some 25 year olds, some whores will label you as a creep, but fuck them, you don't need their validation. But generally speaking, being with girls brings more girls. It's a well kept secret. And I've just shared it with you.

Make friends with whores. Hang out with them and do what they like to do. Don't display any interest in their vagina or fellatio skills. One of two things will happen. One, you will get laid. Or two, you will make friends with her, and be in with her friends. One of those friends will want to fuck you, as long as you play cool.

Another advantage of making friends with whores is that eventually, one drunk night, she make just fuck your brains out for no good reason. How can you say no to that shit?

Being around whores will get you accustomed to how they operate and how you should act around them. That should prevent you from becoming a creepy old dude who blames women for everything wrong with him. Don't be a douchebag.

There's plenty more ways to prevent douchebaggery. But this list should get you started down the right path. Remember, whores are plentiful. And they should be treated with respect, as long as they are righteous whores. Chasing women is a fucking bonus level in this game we call life. If done correctly, we can shatter the high scores and own the night. But you need to be a man. Be a fucking man.

Don't Be a Douchebag.

More Signs You May Have a Whore in Your House

whywomenarewhores@gmail.com (Edward Nigma) — Wed, 05 Aug 2009 22:15:00 +0000

Gentlemen, there's definitely warning signs you should be on the lookout for. If there's one thing I've preached here repeatedly, it's that we as men can never fully trust a woman. Ask a woman if she fully trusts you. She'll lie and say yes. But that fucking 2:00 am phone call while you're sleeping sure says otherwise.

I've previously posted some surefire signs that you've got a whore on your hands. But obviously, there's no end to the whore treachery. So we here at WWAW, always on the lookout, present some more telltale whore signs. Look for a few signs, not just one.

Number 5. Sex is not on the menu, or worse, you've been kicked out of the whore's restaurant.

You should always be weary of a whore's change in sexual behavior. If she hasn't put out in two months, someone else may be laying the pipe for you. Conversely, if she's being less than enthused in bed when previously she was jumping off the walls on to your cock, you have a dead fish whore. But the clever whores, they change their bedtime habits to become more aggressive in bed. And while it's great for your satisfaction, where do you think she picked up the new tricks? University of Whore.

4. Birds of a Feather Whore Together.

Was your girl an introvert? Did she rarely go out? Did you know every girl she befriended in her whore life? But wait, who's that new girl with the shiny hooker boots? Making new friends doesn't necessarily mean your girl has social game. It can also mean your girl has blowjob game. You know how it works. Whores go out in packs. And if your girl is being less than open with you, she's defenitely open for business.

3. No Suddenly Means Yes

Remember the last time you told that wench that you and your fellow cockswingers were going to the strip club? Remember how she slapped you silly? If she all of a sudden let's you do whatever the fuck you want, you better wake up. Remember, while the boyfriend is away, the whore will play. The more time you spend out of her sight, the more time she has to make it a whore night. So be very careful if she's encouraging your debauchery.

2. The Bitchfest Begins

If you've been drnking the same beer since you were an infant, and today, she called you a pussy for drinking it, she's got cock on her mind. And it ain't yours. If she's starting to nag and bitch at your ass for everything you do, she's doing some dirty things behind your back. Whores take out their guilt on their men. It's like some psycho reverse psychology crap. After licking the landscaper's balls, she feels better once she emasculates you. It doesn't make sense, except to that whore. It's like justifying her whore ways by finding shit you do wrong. And I say fuck that. Send that whore packing back to whoretown.

1. New Friend

This time, I'm not talking about whore friends. I'm talking about a new goddamn boy toy who she swears is just a friend. If that whore has the balls to tell you about a new guy friend, she has the vaginal capacity to fuck you over. She probably won't divulge any details about the friendship, but if you notice other changes in her behavior and appearance, this is definitely not going to end well. He's probably got her bent over that sofa you bought that whore.

Remember Gentlemen, don't be paranoid. Be vigilant. Never blame the other guy(s). Drop the whore and go find yourself another one. Or three.

Whore Can't Be Defined

whywomenarewhores@gmail.com (Edward Nigma) — Thu, 30 Jul 2009 13:05:00 +0000

Trying to define the word whore is like a walrus trying to fuck a hamster. You just can't fit the word whore into a narrow definition. But here at WWAW, we endeavor for multiple interpretations of the word.

First, there are many different kinds of whores. There are whores that are perfectly acceptable and there are whores who should be shipped off to a former Soviet republic (see the worst breed of whore). There are supermodel whores and there are the whores next door. There are momwhores and there are whores in training. The list goes on and on.

Since all men have differing tastes and a vastly different tolerance level for whore activity, we cannot simply say whores are cheating, filthy sluts, and therefore unacceptable. What we can do is try to set the boundaries for what we as men will accept in a whore, and more importantly, what we do not accept.

For example, I love an independent whore who has succumb to her inner whore and accepted herself as she is. I feel that the best kind of whore is the whore who can say out loud that she has no problem sleeping her way to the top and crushing other women in the process. I love a whore who can go shopping, eat lunch, blow cock, and grab a cup of coffee, all in a span of a few hours. She doesn't hide her whore self from anyone and lives like a queen as a result. That's the good kind of whore.

Similarly, I'll rarely judge a sex worker. Whether it's a pornstar or a street whore, they're either trying to make an honest living, or are being forced into the work as the victims of human trafficking. And human traffickers, I humbly believe, should be burned alive, genitalia first. For the whores who actually chose this profession, they've accepted whoreism and have gone against society's expectations. That kind of whore you cannot help but admire. But sometimes, it's still kind of funny. But I don't judge.

But what I don't like is closet whores. "Closet whore" is another surprisingly deceptive term. It encompasses all women who attempt to project a "holier than thou" image in public while slurping multiple dongs in private. These are the whores who we as men must be weary of. It can be your girlfriend and wife. You won't know until the switch is flipped and she's on her knees for Fernando the mailman. These are the ultra-conservative, church-going, bible thumping brauds that moan with pleasure when they fuck someone's husband. Unacceptable.

That is a stark difference from "lady in the street and freak in the sheets." If your significant other is reserved in public but drains your pipe in private, it's a good thing, as long as she saves it for you. I've had the personal pleasure of finding women like this, and as long as she keeps her mouth shut, it's the closest to heaven on earth you can get.

Regardless, gentlemen, always keep your guard up. Whores will be whores.

Let's Keep on Dreaming of a Better World

whywomenarewhores@gmail.com (Edward Nigma) — Thu, 30 Jul 2009 12:31:00 +0000

Gentlemen, what would you do?

Whores Will Be Whores

whywomenarewhores@gmail.com (Edward Nigma) — Wed, 29 Jul 2009 13:08:00 +0000

A certain divorce lawyer attempts to explain why wives cheat on their husbands. I find it funny that the reasoning involved is all "me, me, me." I only perused this article since I already knew everything it had to say: Women are whores.

Why do women cheat? Women are filthy fucking whores.

And who is left with a feeling of shame and a dangling dick? The man.

Let this be a lesson to all men. A whore will find any reason she can to justify her whore behavior. And usually, whores justify the behavior by blaming you, my male friends.

How do you prevent this ego-crushing turn of events? Simple. Accept that your girlfriend, wife, fuck-buddy, whatever is a whore. Never let your guard down and always keep in mind that at any minute, her inner whore could appear. If you prepare yourself accordingly, you'll be the one with the upper-hand. Let her know that whore behavior will not be tolerated. And at the first sign of whoreism, bolt on her.

Women are like saltwater. They're every-fucking-where. So if your perfect girl is the whore next door, show her the exit. She has nothing to offer you but headaches. You can just as quickly find another woman to satisfy your man needs.

More Lies Whores Tell

whywomenarewhores@gmail.com (Edward Nigma) — Mon, 27 Jul 2009 23:33:00 +0000

I could post on just this topic for months. The lies that whores tell are infinite. They range from little white lies ("you're the best I ever had") to straight up blatant falsehoods ("I don't mind if you go out to the strip club"). So below I've composed some more gems. Feel free to add your own in the comments.

"You can tell me, I promise I won't get mad."

Gentlemen, no matter what's on your mind, never fall for this bullshit. The second you divulge the information, you are instantly transported to hell. And that whore has dethroned Lucifer.

"I don't want to change you."

More horeseshit. Every whore wants to change a man to fit her concept of a male. Whether it's to make you stop drinking, or to tame your bad boy habits, she's always looking for a way to relieve you of your balls. Keep your balls men, you need them.

"It doesn't bother me to clean or pick up after you."

That is what you will hear in the beginning of the relationship. But this just because she's playing rope a dope and wants to keep you all for herself. What this really means is that she'll tolerate it for now, but God help you if you stay together or worse, get married.

"You're right."

This is one fuking dangerous statement. It causes men to lower their guards. But does she mean it? Fuck no. This is the beginning of a long Iraq-esque war. She leads you to believe you won, but when the time is right, she pounces. And jackhammers your head into submission. You're right never ends well.

"I dont care if you look at other women."

What the fuck? You think you got yourself a fucking diamond in the rough. But call her on this bullshit and you'll learn the truth. Bring one of your hot lady friends around (all men should have a hot lady friend). Chances are, she'll turn into a bumbling tasmanian devil around her. She's just as insecure as the whore next door. You are not allowed to look, period. She wants to own your fucking soul.

The Top Reason Men Cheat

whywomenarewhores@gmail.com (Edward Nigma) — Fri, 24 Jul 2009 23:33:00 +0000

I know it's been a long time but I'm back by popular demand. My inbox is flooded with fan mail from both men and women and I decided I needed to get this site back in full swing. Since women are clearly becoming fans of this site even though I've politely asked them to leave, we're going to start with a lesson for whores today. How to keep a fucking man. Why is it that men cheat? Is it because we are primitive animals blinded by lust? Hardly. I knew many men who never so much as batted an eye at another chick. But eventually they did. There was something that finally clicked in their head.

Ladies, you love to call men dogs and loathe women who attract hundreds of guys. You nag, bitch, moan, and then wonder how in the fuck your casanova got blown by a sultry redhead on a dirty Friday night. I'm going to give you a secret today that should help you keep that fucking guy of yours. Ready? Here it is: TAKE CARE OF YOUR MAN.

No nagging. No bitching. No moaning (allowed only in sexual situations). Your man works ridiculously hard for you. You just don't know it. I don't care if he's a fucking bum sitting at home on the couch.. A blowjob and a hot meal will work wonders for his confidence. And I bet he'll get his ass to work quicker than a call girl.

This reasoning escapes whores for some reason. They've been trained to be chased and loved and showered with affection. That Cinderalla bullshit has whores all fucked up. They think they're the only ones in the relationship, and thus should be worshipped, which most douchebags willingly oblige. BUT God help you if your guy catches the whore eye of a gal at work. If you don't take care of your man, you bet she will. Cubicle nooner? Check.

What do I mean by take care of your man? I mean try to understand that he's a man. And we men require very little upkeep. We need to be fed, fucked, and left alone. It isn't rocket science. A bite to eat for him when he comes home will make him feel like a man. A random blowjob while he's cursing at a sports game is a fucking game changer. Trust me. Throw on a sexy outfit one night for him and fuck his brains out. See below.

And this is not a joke. So next time you decide your man is not sensitive enough and you want to pick fights over bullshit, remember the Cubicle whore. They lurk in every office, construction site, and corner. When you feel the urge to nag, you should have nuclear sirens going off in your head. Remember, that slut will make your man feel like a man again if you don't.

Sex is Better with a Whore

whywomenarewhores@gmail.com (Edward Nigma) — Sat, 25 Oct 2008 00:39:00 +0000

Sex is great with a whore. Virgin? Not so much. Just like everything else in life, practice makes perfect. And whores have a Masters of Sex degree. Its no wonder we men enjoy going to bars to pick up the occasional drunk slut. Drunk and laid? What's not to like?

Sex with a whore is like driving a Porsche. You're guaranteed an exhilirating time. And you're getting laid. To put it more bluntly, why fuck an amateur? A whore can fuck you sideways, upside down, doggie, right side left, just fucking name it. And she'll blow you like your cock is the last one left on Earth. And you think an amateur invented reverse cowgirl? Fuck no.

As for the virgins, I've had plenty. And I used to love it. I used to think I'm the first guy she banged and the little whore will remember it forever. But looking back, that was being too egomaniacal. Nowadays, I'd rather fuck a seasoned thirty-year old vet. And trust me, by age thirty, whores are seasoned. Besides, its so much less work. You don't have to teach a whore anything, and the sex won't suck. She's comes pre-fucking-packaged: ready to fuck.

Here's to a good whore. Virgins are for amateurs (and those strangely angry men out east).

You may be a Whore if....You Dress Like a Whore

whywomenarewhores@gmail.com (Edward Nigma) — Tue, 21 Oct 2008 15:36:00 +0000

Eye-candy is one of the greatest delicacies on earth. I love admiring women making fashion statements four seasons a year. I admit I eye-fuck whores to next Saturday every chance I get. And whores love it. Attention is the culmination of a whore's existence. Why else would you dress to erect?

Let's take the example of the typical club-scene. The majority of the time, whores come out in packs, fully decked out in high heels, skimpy dress or tight jeans, and a revealing top. Its amazing to hear "just because I'm dressed like this, it doesn't make me a whore." First off, you are whore by nature. Second, you dressed like that to attract attention. Whore. So don't get all snobby because dudes are trying to brush their boners against you. You asked for it.

Even when not at a club, its easy to spot a whore. I can be in the middle of downtown in a major city, and I will break my neck gawking at "corporate" women dressed to fuck their bosses. Above the knee skirts with button down shirts exposing just enough cleavage to give you wet dreams. Now that's fucking sexy. These are the ruthless whores that will make it a point to be your boss one day, by any means necessary. My kind of whore.

Go into any retail establishment and you'll likely spot a whore who will do what it takes to earn your commission. And she knows you'll be reeled in by her whorific look. Its easy fucking money for her. I know whores that made a $1000 a day in commission selling men's shoes and such. And they weren't dressed like nuns.

Speaking of which, guess what's coming? A whore's HOliday. HOlloween. Yep. Its that time of year when a girl's inner whore comes out. I bet you the majority of women out there will dress like a skanky nun, nurse, or, of course, Sarah Palin.

Dressing like a whore is second-nature to you whores. Don't deny it, be it. Whore.

Spot a Whore

whywomenarewhores@gmail.com (Edward Nigma) — Thu, 25 Sep 2008 22:02:00 +0000

We men take great pride in ourselves, confidently amassing vast sums of money, collecting cars like they're candy, and selecting top-notch whores to be in our presence. But in our eternal quest for glory, most men inadvertently fall in love and neglect to recognize whorific tendencies. Soon enough, the whore does what she does best, and the poor schmuck is left heartbroken and horny. The key to preventing this broken-hearted blue balls syndrome is to spot a whore from the beginning. For instance, if you met the whore late one night and this was your view later that night:

You've got a whore on your hands. But realize this: its not a bad thing. She's fun as long as you don't get sprung and make her your girlfriend. Chances are, she'll be fucking other guys, and sometimes girls, while you're not around. Its not her fault. Its in her nature. She's a whore.

But that was an oversimplistic example. In reality, its much harder to spot a future cheating whore. Here's some real world signs that may have a whore on your hands.

You fucked her when she had a boyfriend. As much of an ego boost it is for you, fucking another guy's girl and making her your girl will only lead to whorrendous results. If she cheated on him, she'll sure as hell fuck around on you. So the only thing to do is fuck her hard, fast, and as many times as possible before her thirst for strange cock returns.

She's clubbing till 5am on weeknights. While you work your ass off during the day, she's in bed passed out because she was out shaking her goods on industry night. You may think its alright. Trust me, she's blowing the bouncer and you're getting it from behind. And no man should take it from behind from a whore.

Guy friends galore. Women like male attention. So captain geekfuck and his band of superschmucks enjoy the company of your whore frequently. But guess what? One of those treehuggers is your replacement. Or even worse, the alpha nerd (is there such a thing?) is teaching her whoreanometry.

This list can go on and on. There's many telltale signs that you're dealing with a whore. The safest thing any man can do is let the whore be. Just go about your business, tap that ass when you have time, and move on. Falling for a whore never led a man anywhere except to a little place called ruin.

And fuck ruin. I'm not interested in ruin.

You May Be A Whore if....You're a Virgin

whywomenarewhores@gmail.com (Edward Nigma) — Thu, 18 Sep 2008 02:29:00 +0000

Holy dick in my mouth Batman! Virgins are whores?! Damn right. Meet Rafella Fico, an Italian Supermodel who's planning to sell her virginity to the highest bidder. And how much is Ms. Fico asking? One Million Euros. You read that correctly. She thinks her untapped pussy is worth One Million Euros.

According to every whore a man has ever known, a girl's virginity is sacred. Fathers do the most ridiculous things to protect their daughters' innocence. Some religous zealots even slaughter their offspring if there's been some funny business. But this whore is proof positive that nothing is more sacred to a whore than money. What if the dude's shit ugly? She said she'll drink some wine and forget about it. Now that's a first-class whore. Virgin whore.

Is she worth One Million Euros? FUCK NO. No whore is worth that kind of change. You can buy five Bentleys with that kind of cash, and magically, three whores will appear for each Bentley you own. And guess what? You'll get to fuck all of them. Sometimes together. Why the fuck would you pay for one whore when you can cruise in luxury and have fifteen whores? It just doesn't make economic sense.

More importantly, she's not the only whore to pull this kind of crap. In 2005, a Peruvian model put her self up for sale. Also, a chick who goes by the name of Natalie Dylan went on the Howard Stern show to promote her virginity sale. Some British whore was having a sale for ten thousand pounds. Soon they'll be stocking virgin pussy at your local Wal-Mart. And that yellow smiley face fuck's gonna be dropping more than just low prices.

But seriously, is the virgin pussy good enough that you should be dropping One Million Euros on it? For any guy that's ever considered paying for this kind of whore, I have a challenge for you. Go out and fuck five different women. That's it. Go do that. And then see how bad you want to pay to fuck some virgin. Recognize one absolute truth: Women are whores.

The thing I'm confused about is what happens after she's been cherry popped? Does she have a sale for slightly used pussy? How much cheaper is the second hand pussy?

Fuck. Leave it to a whore to redefine the term whore.

Marriage - The End of a Perfectly Good Man

whywomenarewhores@gmail.com (Edward Nigma) — Mon, 15 Sep 2008 20:51:00 +0000

Why would a man want to get married? Happiness? Kids? Love? No. No. And fuck no. If you want to end your life, get married. Ask any married man in private if he recommends marriage. The poor schlub will tell you to run for your fucking life.

From the moment she's born, her lifelong aspiration is to get married. Women dream of the day they get married, planning meticulously in their heads. I remember being in first grade and girls were already pushing marriage like it was crack in a fucking ghetto. Six year old boys were running around being called husband by barbie addicted girls. Looking back, it was utterly whorific.

Marriage is the culmination of a woman's existence. She ropes a dope into a lifelong commitment where he is slave to her every whim. Think about it. What is it that keeps a girl fucking you every time you want it? What is it that makes it possible for you to get away with partying with your boys on a Friday night? Why can you watch football Sundays with her? Because you haven't married the whore yet. She has all the incentive in the world to let you be.

After marriage? Say goodbye to pussy. Its only happening when she wants a kid. Friends? Fuck no. Say goodbye to your boys. You only get to keep the married friends. Her married friends. Football? What the fuck are you thinking? Sundays are for home depot and spending your hard earned cash. Friday nights? HA. You won't even remember Friday nights after marriage.

After you commit peniscide by marrying her, God help you if she gets bored. Enrique the poolboy is fucking your wife. Dave at work is fucking your wife. The fucking neighbor is fucking your wife. And his. At the same time. Everybody but you fucks your wife. Sound like fun?

Fuck marriage. Long live Hugh Hefner.

Whoreism May Lead to Death

whywomenarewhores@gmail.com (Edward Nigma) — Sun, 14 Sep 2008 19:34:00 +0000

Isn't that a lovely face? She seems like someone who goes to church, loves her family, and lives an all American life, doesn't she? Fuck no. That's Erin McLean. A whorror story of a wife. Let me recap the story for you. Erin McLean was a teacher from Tennessee who was married with children. Deciding she's not happy with her husband, she starts a relationship with one of her students. I'm not naming the student or providing a picture out of respect for his family. Regardless, Eric McLean, the husband, endured months of his wife's adultery, all the while contemplating suicide. Fast forward to an unfortunate afternoon at the McLeans' home, where Mr. McLean found his wife with her new boyfriend. He called 911 and the couple allegedly laughed at him. Long story short, the boyfriend was shot dead, and Mr. McLean was recently found guilty of reckless homicide.

As people always do, they blame the husband for the death of the boyfriend. What nobody has addressed is the whoreish behavior of Erin McLean. Not only is she the direct cause of all of the events that led to one man's demise and another man's conviction, she's disappeared altogether, with Eric McLean's children. The same children that she took along with her to see her boyfriend while they made out and pranced around in public.

Let this be a lesson to all men. First, never blame the other guy, regardless of him being a tool. It is always the whore's fault. Always. A whore is a whore, of course.

More importantly, never trust a whore. Even if she did marry you. Women are fickle creatures, slave to their whoreish genetics. Easily bored, they'll seek out and engage in whatever will excite and tickle their fancy. Women are masters of self-manipulation, easily able to justify cheating on their men because "he's an asshole," or "he's not man enough."

If you are able to recognize the above truth, then you are awakened. Never will a whore lead you to death.

Why Women Are Whores is Back

whywomenarewhores@gmail.com (Edward Nigma) — Sat, 13 Sep 2008 19:08:00 +0000

That's right. Whores everywhere beware. This site is back. By popular fucking demand. First I want to apologize to every reader out there. And thank you for the support and encouragement to continue exposing whoreism.

First, let me address some misconceptions about this site. I know that some whores are getting deeply offended by some material on this site and label me as a "mysogynistic." I'm only going to say this once. So listen up whores. I LOVE WOMEN. Period. That does not change the fact that women are whores. So if you whores insist on mischaracterizing the site and judging me and my readers, see your whoreass out the door. This site is not for you.

I'll be posting once a week from here on out. If you have whoreific ideas, email me at whywomenarewhores@gmail.com.

The Worst Breed of Whore

whywomenarewhores@gmail.com (Edward Nigma) — Mon, 17 Mar 2008 05:51:00 +0000

I admit it. I love my fucking Country. And not withstanding the fallacy of the war, I admire, respect, and support the courageous soldiers fighting for our way of life. So fuck any whore that cheats on a soldier.

Whores flock to soldiers like they're rockstars. And most soldiers deserve the attention. But what no soldier deserves is to be betrayed by their whoring significant other. Cheating scumbag whore military wives should be ordered into a foreign exchange program with small former soviet countries where the gangsters specialize in the whore trade. At least this way we'd be rescuing a European woman who would be grateful enough to stay loyal to her man and they'd be getting a seasoned veteran.

And never let some whore start with that "but he's gone for so long; what about my needs?" crap. All you NEED to do is keep your whore legs closed while your man risks life and limb so you can buy your fucking hooker boots manufactured by some one-eyed 8 year old chinese boy.

Money Makes the Whore Go Round

whywomenarewhores@gmail.com (Edward Nigma) — Sun, 16 Mar 2008 16:26:00 +0000

What is the single most important thing to a whore? What is it that drives a seemingly innocent girl to sell her carnal services to the first man willing? Cold hard fucking cash. Rarely will you ever see a man peddling blowjobs in a dark alley. But whores, they love that cash flow. Green is a whore's favorite color. And they'll do anything do attain it.

The above is a case study in what money does to whores. She comes from money. Old fucking money. But that doesn't stop her from starring in sex-tapes and flashing her goodies to the world. The more money she pulls in, the crazier her whoreism becomes. But I'm not judging. She's probably one of my favorite whores in the world. At least with her, you know you're getting a good fucking time. She's dirty like that. Watch the South Park episode dedicated to her if you don't believe me. The great thing about her is that she does not give a fuck. That's my kind of whore.

But I digress. So how do we as men exploit this weakness? We go out and make that money. With money comes power; the power to pick up and reject any fucking whore we want. I call it money magnetism. And money is what makes the whore go round.

MySpace - Paradise for a Whore

whywomenarewhores@gmail.com (Edward Nigma) — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 03:51:00 +0000

This is a special request from one of my loyal fans. I've pondered this for a while now and the time is ripe to expose the whoreism created and sustained by MySpace. But first things first: The cute gal you see below has just hit the jackpot. Her MySpace page was searched millions of times last night. Why?

Because the Governor of New York employed her services. But unlike the rest of the quick-to-judge public, I'm going to be the first to say that I respect this chick. You know why? Because she's not a closet whore. Like your girlfriend. Or that whore you work with. Those are the whores you better watch yourself around. But not Ms. Dupre. She lays it on the fucking line. She charges for her services. No bullshit. No buying a ring. No calling her. No listening to her "feelings." Just pure fucking bedroom sports. My kind of whore.

But the best part about this saga is that it further proves that MySpace is a whore breeding ground. Fuck that. Most, if not all, of the social networking sites are whore paradises. See below for proof:

Its very simple. Whore gets together as many of her pictures as she can find. Whore puts up her MySpace page. Whore types up some bullshit about how she's a free soul and can't stand fake people. You know, the usual bs. But why do all this? Why do whores do anything? For fucking attention. Even the ugliest whore "gets deluded into thinking she's something better than she is due to desperate internet losers praising them up in the hopes of an easy fuck." I couldn't say it better than my guy Ben H. just did.

And picking up a MySpace whore is easier done that said. Yes, you read that correctly. Its not that fucking hard. Go ahead and give it a try. Your MySpace whore awaits.

Whoresim - Is it genetic?

whywomenarewhores@gmail.com (Edward Nigma) — Sat, 08 Mar 2008 15:13:00 +0000

I've always wondered why women are whores. What is it that causes uncontrollable leg division in the presence of any self-respecting man? Then one day it hit me. It must be genetic. There must be some hereditary trait that is passed down for generations resulting in entire families of whores. I'm sure the gene is dormant in some women, but it could be triggered at any moment.
Like when you go partying with your mom:

Isn't that a precious picture? Mother and daughter. Awww. But seriously, these two epitomize my argument here that whoreism is fucking passed down. And in this case, its encouraged. What kind of mom goes partying with her daughter? No wonder she's in rehab and can't keep her fucking legs closed.

For further proof, just google "mother daughter" and see what you get. Half the shit that pops up is porn for milfs and their daughters. Disgusting, but still entertaining. So yes, whoreism is genetic. And I'm first in line to tap that family ass.