A STEP Aside

Any suggestions?

2011-11-28T13:36:00.000-08:00

Turkey day is well behind us and we are trying to ease back into the groove of things. Its not really going the way I planned. My daughter has been with her birth mother since Thanksgiving night (it was her weekend anyway so we let her stay) and she just came home last night. Now, you need to know that when she comes home from her mom's house it takes a few days to get her back into the swing of "responsibility" and her way of life at our house. I get so upset because her mother gets to be the "fun" parent, which I guess I understand. If I only got to see my child every other weekend, I would spend every chance I could making memories too. However, there is a lot less structure at BM house and SD just loves it over there and, in comparison, our house must appear to be a slave house.

I love her to pieces and just can not wrap my brain around her anger toward me. When I came home last night from work all was fine. She was laughing and playing with her sisters. When it came time for bed I always tuck them in, her included. She has difficulty sleeping on her medication anyway so at our house, if she wants the TV on while she is going to sleep, she has to have it on football or something boring (this rule has been in place for months now and includes her sibling if you wanted to know). Well you would have thought you were watching a 3 year old temper tantrum. She kicked her legs and crossed her arms and began whining about the new show on Disney Channel she wanted to watch. Mind you I had just walked into the room. I had not even finished changing the channel yet when she did this. So, I looked and her and told her I would not be talked to that way and did not want to be around her when she had an attitude like that and to have a good night and I closed her bedroom door.

Well this morning did not go any better. She always wakes up in a raunchy mood, so I find myself in an argument with her about everything from A to Z. I do her hair every day before school and this morning was no different. Well I asked her if she would please find her sisters some socks for school, after her hair was done, for me please. That set her off. She started the huffing and the puffing and griping, rolling her eyes and heavy sighing. I warned her about the attitude and then told her I COULD have asked her to get all their clothes together for me but I didn't and she should be thankful. Which she then replied to with:

"That's not MY job. Its YOUR job, you are the parent."

As you can tell I was not pleased and I told her about herself and then left for work. My husband is supposed to talk with her when she gets home from school today. There are just some days, such as last night and today, that makes me just want to give up. Why keep doing what I do if I'm not appreciated and not made to feel like I matter to her. I know she is just a child, and I know deep down she really does love me but it still hurts very deeply. I don't know how not to take it personally. I will gladly accept any help anyone has to offer..

Crazy weekend!

2011-11-22T10:58:00.000-08:00

I am so sad to see this past weekend go by. We do not have much money, but what we lack in funds we make up for in creativity. Saturday was a glorious day! It was so beautiful we just had to go outside and enjoy it. We picked up sticks and, taking a tip from homemade mommas, made a wreath for Christmas. So much Fun!!! We then got some construction paper, glue, and glitter and went to town making all sorts of beautiful things.

Sunday was awesome. Yet another gorgeous day. The older kids love to play in the woods in front of our house. These are clean, non-scary woods with a tiny creek (ankle deep). I decided it would be fun to walk in the woods with them so off I went, little 3 year old and 5 year old in tow. I wanted it to be just me and the kids so my husband stayed behind.....(anyone see where this is going)

Now, I am NOT a woods kind of girl....I was raised to play outside, just not in the woods... This was a wonderful trip..right up until the little walk in the woods turned into a hike down large hills of slippery autumn leaves (although they were beautiful colors) The 3 year old desperately clung to my hang for fear of all that made noises, while my two oldest trumped along as if it was nothing. Eventually I actually began to relax and enjoy being one with nature...until I came face to face with the biggest spider I have ever seen. It was black with white spots and had spines all over it. It was about the size of a quarter and was sitting smack dab in the center of a web the size of my van! (OK maybe a little exaggeration here but still it was massive guys!!)

My nose was literally an inch away from its body when I let out a shrill that caused all of God's creatures to evacuate the premises. I slowly backed up, desperate to find a way around the death trap, and stepped right in front of a small bare tree with lots of branches. I bent a branch back to walk through and, like a scene out of a movie, it snapped back popping me right in the face. Of course all this was extremely funny to my children who were navigating the woods like Lewis and Clark.

Finally, we arrived at the creek. The lull of the trickling brook was quite pleasant. Its water was brown and murky yet you could sill see some small fish swimming about. The kids began throwing sticks and rocks in the water. All was quiet until.....SPLASH!
The water churned and moved violently. Large rings of waves began to radiate from ground zero. I have no idea what type of creature that big could be doing living in such a small creek but we didn't stay long to find out. The lock ness creek monster would have to wait another day to be discovered. My children and I made a dash in the opposite direction trying to find the fastest way out. Realizing that the big hills we trekked down on the way here would be the hike up to get back was such a disappointment. So my son, being the wise old man he is, decided the best way to get back would be to go around instead of up. Coming up on a clearing my heart beat faster as I realized we were going to be free of this jungle! Then, much to my dismay, I quickly noticed it was my neighbor's yard across the street. My son looks back at me and says, "its OK we just have to sneak out of their yard. If you are really quiet the dog won't notice you at all." This does not give me comfort. Not wanting my neighbor's to think I make a habit of walking in their woods, I do as my son instructs as not to get caught, and sneak along the wood line until I see my glorious house....

Being a mom is such an adventure!!

This is DINOspider!! uuuuuh so creepy..

Kids say the darndest (and most inappropriate) things....

2011-11-17T15:20:00.000-08:00

About a month or so ago my family and I were all sitting down watching TV together in the living room and a commercial came on for a "male enhancer" if you catch my drift. Well if you have ever watched these commercials they always depict a guy smiling and laughing surrounded by others who are doing the same, and they are usually doing something fun or enjoying life somehow.

The room fell silent for a while...

then my 11 year old pipes up with "Daddy you need that".....

LOL i thought I would fall out of my chair. She meant he needed it because it made people "happy". She just didn't know exactly what kind of happy it really meant..:)

Fast forward to present day..we are all sitting around the same living room and my husband was commenting on yet another commercial. This time it starred a popular wrestler. She commented how much of a large man he was. Her daddy began to explain just how large he really is with measurements and what-not.

This was met with a blank stare...followed by (and I am not exaggerating, the most concerned look)

"Does he have diabetes"

Too funny!

I guess we all know why he's smiling!

Its too quiet around here!

2011-11-12T08:22:00.000-08:00

I'm sitting here at my laptop, and all is quiet. Too quiet. My SD has left to go to her grandmother's house for the weekend. She is awesome, beautiful, smart, funny..but she is also loud, often rude, and argues with her sisters like they are married! I say all that to say this, my house is never and I mean NEVER quiet with three daughters running around. My SS lives with his mother so I only get to see him after school for a few hours and every other weekend. (BTW on those weekends we have all four children running around so its definitely not peaceful) . So on the weekends when my daughter is gone and my son is with his mom and its just myself, my husband and the two little ones, I feel strange.I mean I am thankful for the somewhat peace and quiet. It feels as if part of my world is missing. If I have time to watch a television show or I don't hear yelling and screaming over who gets to play the mother and who is playing the baby, I feel that the world is not right. So I'm counting down the days until I get to hear the joyous screams and stomping and sucking of the teeth. Because I really do miss it.

Beautiful chaos

2011-11-10T21:57:00.000-08:00

Being a step mother to a child is daunting. Being a step parent to multiple children deserves a badge of honor. I am the proud step parent of an eleven year old girl and a thirteen year old boy. my husband and I have two small children together ages three and five. Oh, and did I mention that I'm only 28 years old. Yes, I know I'm young but this is the path that God has chosen for me and I wouldn't trade it for the world. However, there are some days when I could just get back in bed, pull the covers over my head and cry all day. No, make that sob all day. Please do not get me wrong I love my step children just as if I had birthed them myself, but it is very different from your biological children. My eleven year old is a very difficult child to raise in general. She has been diagnosed with ADHD and is very obstinate, opinionated, etc. I have a very affectionate personality and her..well not so much. It very well might have something to do with the fact that she is an Aries and I am a Libra. Who knows, all I'm saying is I love them as much as a biological mother does and get half the respect. My husband and I have discussed these issues at length and he is very supportive and understanding. I know she will come around with time but these are the times mothers should cherish the most. We will never get these moments back. So I will keep doing what I'm doing. Keep teaching, and encouraging, and molding to the best of my abilities. This too shall pass....

Stepmother's Poem

2011-11-10T20:57:00.000-08:00

Stepmother's Poem