Widows of Warcraft

For Sale

2010-04-25T12:46:00.001-07:00

I’ve not lost my sense of humor – I’ve simply run out of time.

I have to prioritize my activities, and this one – is not at the top of the list…as well it should be.

WoW has taken too much precious time from me already.

Dearly Departed agrees.

So – WidowsofWarcraft.com is now for sale.

Make me an offer.

Includes Domain name, artwork and all postings – although if you keep those, you have to attribute them to me as the author – they are protected by creative commons.

Thank you ya’ll, you’ve been great listeners.

Contact me at widow@widowsofwarcraft.com if you are interested and make me an offer.

Goodnight.

At first I found it funny…

2010-04-11T22:30:00.001-07:00

But when I had to rewind the commercial twice so that the Dearly Departed could understand the content, this commercial serves more as a PSA for all Video Game Widows out there.

I thought I was seriously proving a point to him until he turned to me and asked…

“So when are we going to buy a PS3?”

Sometimes, it’s like talking to a brick wall -That eats.

My New Boyfriend…

2010-03-03T18:20:00.001-08:00

I have to find out if this guy is still single.

Okay, maybe not, but I really do appreciate his message…

(Thanks Travis for finding this – you are a great cousin!)

How to get your Dearly Departed to Agree to Anything…

2010-03-02T11:19:00.001-08:00

Ask them while they are in a raid.

“Dearly Departed, I’m thinking about buying a new dress”

- Uh huh….

“Dearly Departed, I thought it would be a good idea to let my mother come stay with us for a few weeks.”

- Sure…whatever…

“Dearly Departed, I’m going to go buy new furniture at the Big fancy furniture store”

- Sounds nice…

“Dearly Departed, I’m going to move to Vegas, win a million dollars playing slots and then buy a small island in the Pacific.”

- Have a nice time Dear…

Works every time.

An open letter to the many “Dearly Departed” WoW players…

2010-02-01T10:21:00.001-08:00

Dear Dearly Departed,

It’s me. I know we haven’t talked much recently, what with you creating an entirely new Druid Elf and in doing so spending much time leveling him up to make it safely thru the caves.

I thought I’d say hello.

I wanted to give you a few pointers, you know, subtle hints that I leave for you so that you know you might be spending a bit too much time indulging your sweet tooth with your favorite Candy.

For instance – when I start cleaning the house – and begin vacuuming under your feet to catch the dirt and dust that has accumulated in the last twelve days of straight game play – it might be a good signal to step away from the computer.

Likewise, when I insist that you hand over your clothing – because it’s been a few days since you last moved, showered etc – that’s also a good sign.

Most importantly though – when your children walk in the house and say “Where’s Daddy?” even though you are right there, on the couch for all to see – that might also be a good clue that you have spent way too much time immersed in Fantasy land…just a suggestion anyway.

I mean no disrespect – I simply thought I’d point out the tale-tale clues.

Thank you,

Your loving significant – non-elf – other.

What to do..what to do..

2010-01-24T13:06:00.001-08:00

Last month,while the Dearly Departed was partaking in his afternoon sugar fix, I was bored. Very, very bored.

I would have fixed an ice cream sundae, but we are both on diets, so I didn’t think that’d be nice. So I channel surfed.

Do you know how much entertaining television is on on a Sunday afternoon? Yep. Nothing. I ended up watching an infomercial for some ridiculous product that I wasn’t sure anyone would ever buy. I began making snarky comments – as only I can – in my own sense of humor with a special blend of sarcasm.

Dearly Departed – seeing a way to get me to stay busy for a while (and therefore not be a Harpy and yell at him about his sugar intake) told me I should blog about it.

So I did.

As I started blogging about this product (It’s called the Hug Me Pillow, btw) – I started finding all sorts of other ridiculous and equally as non-purchasable products out there. I’ve now found something to keep myself busy for days – possibly months. (Dearly Departed has already been on three raids – Harpy-free).

So, if you want to check it out – here’s a link to the new blog – http://someonewillbuyit.blogspot.com – and I promise to continue to work here to keep you entertained and WoW frustration free.

Ch Ch Cha Changes…

2010-01-07T08:21:00.001-08:00

I don’t know how long it will last, but the Dearly Departed and I had a long talk the other night.

See, he didn’t know that his sweet tooth was severely cramping the family style.

He did notice the expanding wow waistline.

So, he’s going to cut back on his sugar intake, and I’m going to be less of a Harpy when it comes to his play time.

Yes, I said Harpy.

Listen, I’ve tried to be nice, I’ve tried to find humor – but honestly the only thing that “the game” brings out in me is my true Harpy, shrewish nature.

I’m strong enough to admit it, so there.

WoW – Wii?

2010-01-02T10:32:00.001-08:00

For Christmas the Dearly Departed and I got “me” a Wii. I suppose he figured if I joined the video game revolution, I’d be a lot kinder regarding his sweet tooth.

One problem with this theory.

Since Christmas day I’ve enjoyed about 8 minutes of Wii playing time.

Why?

Dearly Departed has discovered my Wii Fit (and it’s ability to help him reduce his WoW waistline – which is similar to the “freshman fifteen” which he still has yet to lose…his words, not mine)

At least he enjoys it.

So, sorry to all those on his server – it may be some time before he returns. In the mean time, I’m truly enjoying watching him hula hoop and do step aerobics. Now this IS fun for the whole family.

Ice Cream…

2009-11-29T19:44:00.001-08:00

I make a fantastic Ice Cream Sundae.

You know the kind – with nuts and multiple toppings, and of course – sprinkles.

The beauty of the ice cream sundae is that it has to be eaten with a spoon from a bowl. It’s next to impossible for the Dearly Departed to eat ice cream and manage a raid at the same time.

So, what are we doing right now?

I’m watching the Amazing Race with my Dearly Departed while he enjoys his “candy” and I enjoy my ice cream.

Sweet teeth – appeased, on both levels.

Does he look Jealous? Absolutely. Do I care? Nope.

Us Time…

2009-11-11T21:30:00.001-08:00

Lest you should think that I’ve found something better to do with my time – than to blog about “the game”.

Nor should you think that perhaps my dearly departed has found a new past time.

Nope. None of the above two – and I’m sure you are sorely disappointed at my non-absence :)

Things in our household have just been very, very, very, (let’s give it one more for good measure) very busy. I do believe that tonight is the first night in a very long time that my dearly departed has had any time to sit down and relax, let alone play “the game”.

With our new-found moments to relax in quiet solitude I should possibly be writing some sort of post about how I’d prefer he spend this time with me – doing something un-“game-ish”.

Nah. Not this post.

Sometimes, boys will be boys. Let him have his “candy”. After-all, there are times that every sweet tooth must be appeased.

That being said, I’m off to have a bowl of ice cream and curl up to watch “Mercy”.

Sometimes “me” time is “us” time.

heh heh heh.

Seen, Heard, Noted and Quoted…

2009-10-21T14:55:00.001-07:00

These are actual things I’ve heard my Dearly Departed say while playing “the game”…

When asked by our 10 year old Daughter - “What are you doing?”

“I’m going to the undercity so M can barf on me, and I can barf on him”…

(Seriously, too much “candy” will do this to you, it’s not just Dum Dums and Snickers bars…)

Halloween Quests to be “hallowed”

2009-10-19T12:29:00.001-07:00

Just a short post. I found this to be wildly entertaining.

My Dearly Departed is partaking in his “candy”. I asked him what he was working on…

“I’m trick or treating”.

Really?

See, I told you “the game” was “candy”.

WoW saved my relationship…

2009-10-11T11:34:00.001-07:00

And to think – there are other WoW Widows out there with a sense of humor. Who’d a thunk it…

World of Warcraft Saves Relationships

Norbert|MySpace Videos

I bet they all play WoW too…

2009-10-09T09:54:00.001-07:00

Ok, so this post isn’t totally Widow related - - - but, I saw this video of 4 middle-aged men who refuse to grow up, and I drew the conclusion that any responsible WoW Widow would.

Some people look to recapture their youth by playing video games incessantly – others decide to break out the dance moves they used in the early 90’s to make them famous. Whatever works for ya buddy. Whatever.

By the way, one other parallel I noticed – they all seem to be miming moves from the Napoleon Dynamite movie – which is yet another piece of media only fully understood by middle-aged men (and women, let’s be fair here…) that refuse to grow up.

Get Your Own Tots – and enjoy the video.

Not the POWER CORD!!!

2009-10-06T22:00:00.001-07:00

As you may or may not know – the Dearly Departed and I have moved. We’ve been in the process of moving for about a month now.

Today we finally moved all the larger items over – you know the basics: bed, table, television, computers…

One thing that was left at the other house…the power cord for Dearly Departed’s Lap top. Luckily the thing had a full charge on it – and he’s got about an hour’s worth of Candy left.

Not sure when I’ll tell him that the cord is in the glove box in the truck…or is it?

Perhaps I Just Lack The Attention Span…

2009-10-04T22:00:00.001-07:00

I’m sitting here in my chair in our newly emptied house – you see we are in the process of moving and most of our “little” things are at the new house – but big furniture, beds, desks – and well internet access – are still at the old abode.

I’m tired. My legs hurt. I can barely stand up.

Dearly Departed says he feels the same way.

So here we sit. It’s quiet, (the TV is at the new house), it’s relaxing – we are enjoying some quiet moments.

I’m bored.

Dearly Departed must feel the same way because he’s picked up the laptop and is now indulging in some “candy” before bedtime.

My mind is racing from one thing to the next – I have so many things to do…and that’s when it hits me.

I could never play “the game”. It takes to long to complete any one thing. My brain isn’t wired that way – I’m constantly moving, ideas constantly evolving, thoughts darting from one subject to the next.

I’d never be able to finish a quest that takes an entire year to perform in order to get a special flying mount (I’m told the prize at the end of this one is a dragon). Heck, I don’t even think I’d be able to run an instance through a dungeon if it took longer than fifteen minutes.

I’m just not wired that way. I suppose I have VGAD disorder…Video Game Attention Deficit disorder.

What was I talking about again????

STRESS!!!!

2009-09-28T22:29:00.001-07:00

When I am undergoing large amounts of stress I tend to turn to different things.

Emotional stress – I admit it, I’m a foodie. Chocolate, cheesecake, éclairs, or something equally as sweet and fattening.

Physical stress I tend to turn to something physical such as exercise, cleaning (the deep down and dirty kind – like scrubbing the grout with toothbrush while simultaneously wiping down the walls and ceilings).

Financial stress usually turns me to music – I’m a violinist and I like to play things like Vivaldi, Mozart (the Nachtmusik suite always gets the blood pumping and the stress and anger worked out).

You see, I’m a multi-faceted person with a lot of layers and different ways of expressing myself.

How does my Dearly Departed deal with stress?

Emotional Stress – Dungeons.

Physical Stress – Ganking – usually rogue vs. alliance, and yes, he’s usually a very strong rouge hunter. (to read the definition go here: http://www.wowwiki.com/Gank)

Financial Stress – Instances (to gain high level items which he then makes a fortune on in the auction house)

He too is multi faceted.

I’m doing something today that every Widow dreams of…

2009-09-22T10:37:00.001-07:00

I’m reformatting the computer and deleting “the game”.

Does this mean I’m no longer a widow?

Of course not – the Dearly Departed has a laptop now which makes his “candy” taste so much better. But still – I get to remove the offending software from my previously pristine desktop computer.

I know it isn’t removing “the game” from my life entirely, but something inside me is just a little bit giddy thinking about deleting “the game”.

I might just install it again after we reformat the hard drive just so that if I am having a moment of frustration, I can go and delete it again.

It’d be a great moment of vindication and therapy.

“Caution, do you really want to delete ‘WoW’?”

Yes. Yes I do.

Much better.

Moving

2009-09-18T09:53:00.001-07:00

The Dearly Departed and I are in the middle of purchasing a new home and moving. In the process he’s cut down his “candy” intake drastically.

The upside – there’s fewer contentious moments in our home that are “WoW” related.

The Downside – we are both exhausted from painting, cleaning, moving, packing, it leaves little time for much else.

We can’t win ‘em all.

Readership…

2009-09-13T20:48:00.001-07:00

I have found that the majority of my readers are not actual widows themselves but actually most belong to one of two groupings.

1) Former WoW players themselves recently resurrected from their “Dearly Departed” status.

2) Current “dearly departed” players, seeking to understand their loved ones frustration and anger with the amount of time they spend on “the game”.

While I absolutely welcome both groups mentioned above, I do feel the need to say this. The first step to overcoming is to realize that you have a problem. If you are in the second group mentioned above – you are the ones of whom I speak. If your internet searches on “candy” have brought you to a blog written by a bone-fide “widow” – and you continued to read (after wiping the incredulous look off of your face upon realizing that yes, there are other “widows” out there – it isn’t just your significant loved one who feels left behind by “the game”) then the time has come to perhaps seriously look into your time spent on “the game” and time spent in – we’ll call it “the real world”.

You may not think you spend very much time playing “the game” – that’s one thing it does, it sucks you into a space –time continuum (that’s for you “trekkers” out there) – and you lose all track of time. Here’s a little test you can take to see how much time you’ve spent in the “world”.

Open your chat window within the game.

type /played

hit enter.

If you get a message that states something to the effect of – “most of your natural adult life” or “what, you actually thought you did something else with your time?” - then it’s probably time to take a serious review of how you spend your daily hours.

This is just a suggestion - No need to get testy with me. (read the disclaimer).

Now, if you are in the first group mentioned… I’m proud of you. You are on the road to recovery, and your widow will thank you.

For the widows that do read this blog – you still are not alone – but knowing that the above two groups are searching us out I feel there is still hope.

Addictions

2009-09-09T11:31:00.001-07:00

It’s been pointed out to me recently that the word “addiction” should never be used in a light manner in describing those who play “the game” beyond normal, reasonable limits. Addictions should never be used in the way in which I use it in this site. Alluding to the fact that I no longer see my husband when he’s playing “the game” by calling him my “dearly departed” was extremely insensitive. Therefore, I’m changing the terminology that I’ll be using from this point forward – after all, I must try to be a little more sensitive to my readers.

I will no longer refer to “the game” as his “addiction” it’s now going to be called “candy”.

While I don’t want to be insensitive to those who are “chocoholics”, have an insatiable “sweet tooth”, or for those “car nuts” out there, I do feel the need to be a little more sensitive to those who have an equally serious but not fatal disease which leaves them with the inability to recognize humor in any circumstance - “stickumus upus the buttomus”.

Also, I’ll be including a sticky post with definitions and descriptions to the terms I’ll use through out this site – lest not to offend those who don’t take the time to read the carefully worded disclaimers, or who don’t have the common sense to realize that this blog is in jest – my own way of coping with my husband’s frequent and overuse of “the game”.

Thank you to those who read, enjoy and sympathize with the Widows of Warcraft. And for everyone else, who doesn’t enjoy this site – I apologize for your inability to take a joke aimed at your precious “game”. If you really aren’t as immersed in this game as you say you are not – then how did you find this site? Searching for Candy on the internet again?

Really.

An Open Letter to Althonis, Level 80 Night Elf Druid

2009-09-08T10:00:00.001-07:00

Dear Althonis,

I do so very much appreciate your comments to my post – “So He’s a Football Widower”. You are correct in assuming I didn’t do much research outside of my own observations within my own situation. The truth is, I’m not dedicating the time and effort into the WoW universe that you so obviously have.

This site as noted below in the disclaimer is my own therapy. I do enjoy seeing both sides of the story, and also understand that there are many extremes when it comes to those that play WoW and those that live WoW. My Dearly Departed falls somewhere in the middle with the occasional lean to the extreme. My blog is for those of us that fall somewhere in the middle – a form of entertainment, a way to vent frustrations. It is also satire – a subtle form of comedy obviously lost on people such as yourself.

I am sorry that you took offense to my comments, and even more deeply sorry that you failed to see the humor. I suggest you take a bit of advice from one of the other more serious Online WOW Widow forums - “Stop Leveling, and Start Living”. I’d also suggest a long talk with your own significant loved one and see what their feelings are on this topic. It may be an enlightening moment for you both.

I am going to cut this communication short now, as I have more important matters to attend to. The NFL season starts on Thursday, and I need to set my fantasy line up.

Thank you,
The Widow

So He’s a football Widower …

2009-09-06T15:00:00.001-07:00

I am a WOW widow. We all know that. He’s a football Widower. Yes that’s right, I’m addicted to Football. I love the game. The athleticism, the skill – the excitement… Here’s why I say my addiction is a little bit less annoying than the WOW addiction of my Dearly Departed.

1) Foobtall season only lasts a few months out of the year. Five to be exact.

2) During those five months, games only occur on Saturday, Sunday and Monday with the occasional Thursday.

3) Football is a participation sport – one that many people in a room can watch and enjoy together – seriously, when was the last time we all crowded around the computer and shouted “Go (insert character name here) Go! Cast that magic spell and beat those rouge Hunters!” It really doesn’t have the same sense of excitement does it?

4) If my children share my same passion for football (and they do) – this is something we can use to actually get out of the house together and learn participation and sportsmanship. (My ten year old Daughter is an AMAZING running back.)

and finally

5) Football comes with some really great snacks. That’s right, I can watch a game and eat fun finger foods like 7 layer bean dip, hot wings, nachos, and Doritos – and I don’t even have to worry about getting the computer dirty.

Business Trip – Shmisiness Trip…

2009-09-01T21:49:00.001-07:00

Okay, so the Dearly Departed was called out of town suddenly on business. Since BlizzCon was last weekend, I’m inclined to believe him that he really is on a business trip… The amount of actual work completed though…well, let’s just say he did take *both* his laptops with him.

(Granted, there is a lot of down time in the evening hours after all the actual work is done – and he does have nothing else to do after work, so I guess a little WOW is okay, just this once… just don’t tell him I said that.)

Petitions?

2009-08-30T09:34:00.001-07:00

Recently it came to my attention that there is a petition out there to ban “the game”. While I think that those that play “the game” go beyond the reasonable limits for time spent and hours wasted…but banning “the game” seems to be a little extreme.

Anyway, if you are interested in the petition – it’s here:

http://www.petitionspot.com/petitions/banwow/

It seems that they are way below their requested signatures of 100,000 – and most the “signers” there are SPAM. Rather than banning “the game” it might be more effective to take your frustrations out in different ways – such as writing in a journal (or online blog!), learning a new skill (like game programming – perhaps you can create the Anti- WOW!), how about knitting (a giant computer cozy to cover that hideous machine?), or maybe some dancing lessons…