Fighting For Me Because I Am Worth It!!!

Still alive and breathing

2014-03-02T09:40:00.001-08:00

So I haven't been here in awhile so let me catch you up to speed. This blog is all about marketing myself a better me, which I have true to do over the past several months. I decided to move to Dallas to try and get the surgery I need to getting healthier. They were going to remove my cyst. I was so elated but this decision came with some hard consequences. My children's father did not go with us which made it very difficult on not only me but my three children. I set a date to get the surgery for dec 17. But on thanksgiving the family I was staying with decided to leave. A monkey in my wrench you say. I had to move back to San Antonio and not get surgery so that we had a place to stay.

The sliver lining in this story is that my children and I moved into our very on apartment. We are struggling but blessed. Peace at last. We will see what happens from here.

Cancer is deadly

2012-04-29T19:21:00.000-07:00

It is eye opening to see all the wonderful support we have been getting in the fight for cancer. All of the support has lead to new drug, procedures, and a more beneficial life for cancer patients and survivors. So next time you see a donation box for raising funds to fight cancer please remember it could be you next.

There is a new treatment for prostate cancer called HIFU which stands for High-Intensity Focused Ultrasound. It is a wonderful procedure that only treats the tumor and leave good tissue alone. which is the whole propose of the procedure. Leave healthy alone. With HIFU it allow them to avoid or reduce the damage to surrounded structures such as the muscle controlling urine flow and the nerves while still fighting the bad cancer. And get this you can treat the cancer but not have all the terrible side effects.

One other great benefit of HIFU is that you can cut down on the proceduer time and no hospital stays. not to mention back to normal life much faster.

some other benefits of HIFU is patients maintain sexual potency , No incision is required which avoids the risk of surgical infection, and the procedure can be repeated .

This is defiantly good news to hear because I have seen first hand what patients go through when dealing with cancer. I watch my aunt who decided not to go through treatment get eaten alive by this horrible disease and believe me it is not something I wish on one of my worst enemies.

So i beg of you if you or someone you know is suffering from prostate cancer please get a great support system, find a doctor who is very aggressive but human and do research. You might want to suggest HIFU.

I love evolving we tend to invent some wonderful life-changing ideas. Thanks all who listens and remember the next time you see a donation box for raising funds to fight cancer please remember it could be you next.

home security

2012-04-29T18:50:00.007-07:00

Let me tell you what happened to me.

I am normally always at home but I decided to go to my moms house to watch a movie. I was gone for a total of 3 hours. when I returned home i found my house torn apart.

What bothered me wasn't that they got a lot of valuable item but more my security and peace of mind. So i decided to get ADT to secure my home it was the only way I could feel safe.

It is only my self and my three children at home so ADT was the best idea it was that or a bat by every door and my bed.

Thank You ADT Security North Syracuse.

wiating it out

2012-03-25T18:49:00.001-07:00

Thanks to Wm Rowe

My husband and I bought a house in a neighborhood of san antonio that is not so great. It is an area that is getting revitalized, so we thought we would give it a chance. There are a lot of historical homes in the area, and we love the scenery. There are also some great local restaurants and coffee shops close by, and we are close to downtown. We thought it would be fine, and we got a great deal, so we went for it. We know the neighborhood is getting better, but it’s hard for us to feel comfortable while it’s on the upswing. Some of our neighbors are very shady and we think they have been casing our house to rob it. We need to look into home security san antonio and get something set up so we can feel better about the situation. We hope that the neighborhood gets better and that we can sell for a huge profit, but we have to stay for a while before that happens. I wish we would have asked about the neighbors before we settled on the house.

Buying time

2012-02-04T08:11:00.000-08:00

My mom has so been into playing bingo on the computer, because she can't really go many places. She has been playing at winster.com and she is fairly lucky. She is so excited about it she has gotten two of my aunts and my other sister playing as well. To all of our surprise my aunt won $5,000. There were quite a few step to take but she is actually getting the money which has come in handy since she has been taking care of my uncle. So go Winster you ROCK!!!!

Textbooks

2012-02-04T07:47:00.000-08:00

Thanks to Olga Quinn

My husband recently started grad school to get his masters degree in education. We had to take out student loans for him, and we will spend a few years after he completes his degree paying the loans back. One expense we had not planned on was the cost of his textbooks. We had no idea how expensive his books would be and he thought it would be ridiculous to pay full price for books he would only be using for a short period of time. We recently got satellite internet from http://www.wildbluedeals.com/, so we decided to research to see what would be the cheapest way to buy his books online. We found out that there is a free way to get textbooks by checking them out from college libraries. Unfortunately, not all libraries carry all of the books we need, so we will end up having to buy some of them. My husband also figured out that it is not necessary to buy every book for each class. His professors have been pretty honest about which books they will use and which books are optional. My husband and I both appreciate this since we are trying to save as much money as possible.

On the Right Path Finally!

2012-01-21T08:06:00.000-08:00

I finally got approved for medical insurance, HOORAY!! This is such a blessing. I have been seeing this doctor and I'd have to say I am very impressed. She is warm, understanding and it seems she really does have my best interest at heart. She has put me on a couple of new medication which seems to help clear my head and manages to reduce some of the harsh pain. I have been so use to hurting that when I have good days I get all excited and overdo myself. Right now my house is clean, all my laundry is done, but yet I am having to schedule another date with my bed. The pain is winning today but tomorrow is another day. Look out pain!!

Things are finally looking up. I just hope the saying, " when something looks to good to be true, it probably is." does not apply in my cause, for this situation.

So for now, I will just keep pushing myself and Pray, Pray, Pray.

Critizism

2012-01-15T11:18:00.000-08:00

Opinions are like but holes everyone has one! I listen to every ones opinions because sometimes people can give us insight on ourselves that we might not see ordinarily. You have to choose carefully what to listen to and take to heart and what you let roll off your shoulders. So to all those who comment on my blog, my mothering, my self, and my relationship I just want to say thank you no matter how much it may sting.

Gobble Gobble!

2011-11-26T12:01:00.000-08:00

I have so many things to be thankful for. Even though times have been tough the Lord always creates a way to survive. Thank you Lord for my beautiful family, my wonderful kids, my thoughtful friends, and such a great husband. Everyday we grow and thrive as a family and we only get stronger with each passing day. So Lord Thank you for another wonderful Thanksgiving.

Who chooses our Fate

2011-10-12T14:13:00.000-07:00

Who determines our fate?

Is it God?

Why are some of us picked to live lavish lives and others are picked to be homeless, diseased, constantly struggling, or receive constant heartache?

I look at these people like the kardashians, ellen, or donald trump they seem to not want or need for anything. I wonder what it is like to be able to pay a bill without worry or buy a piece of clothing without feeling guilty you are taking something away from your family, because in the end you know you will take it bake anyway if you buy it. I wonder what it's like to be happy, although we don't know what goes on behind their closed doors I bet the conversation in their home is much different than mine.

The real hero's aren't the people you see on T.V. they are the ordinary every day people who are struggling to survive with whatever problems are issues in their lives that day and yet they still greet you with a smile, treat you as if you were family and give to you even though they know they can't afford to. The hero's are the people that against all odds are still here. We need to remember this when we start taking things for granted.

The key is to not change much in your life but to help others better theirs.

I wonder stometimes if only poor people say things like that or stay positive or that everything is going to be alright even though you know its not and if we have to do because we have no choose, its the only way we can get through things without truning to drugs or alcohol or death.
(Hey maybe thats why there are only liquor stores in poor neighborhoods. LOL)

Is it bad that sometimes I wish I was dealt a different life? Because I am so tired of fighting for the one I have but I guess it is what it is and for now I am going to keep on truckin with a smile upon my face.

So I leave telling you this, you can strip me of everything but you can't take my faith and love.

Against all odds I believe

2011-09-19T19:35:00.000-07:00

I am constantly battling good and evil. I am trying soooo hard to be happy and I am constantly telling myself that no matter what happens there is a reason for it, try to L.I.G., and put it in the Lords hands. But I am walking on a thin rope, any wrong move and I will plummet to my death. (That’s what it feels like anyway)
My daughter turns nine on the 27th and I have noooooo money so I am going to get creative and have about 4-5 girls spend the night and we are going to through an old fashion slumber party, you know the kind of slumber party they use to through. Doing nails, hair, facials, some good old fashion girlie movies, popcorn, dancing, slumber bags, and some ghost stories, should be interesting. I found when it comes to kids, fun is fun, and as long as they get to spend time with you they tend to forget how much they didn't get.

I am truly blessed and I have to keep reminding myself of this on a daily basis. I know that I am truly loved even though it seems that I am not even thought about at all. I am my own support system, my own cheering section, and my own inspiration. For now, I'm okay, but tomorrow is a different day with new problems.

So, Lord for today thank you and for tomorrow I will be a better me.

Yee Haw!!

2011-09-08T13:22:00.000-07:00

So I wanted to show yall a video of my little cowboy. This is what keeps me going to fight another day.

If you truely beleive everything will be okay it will be. Rememeber to surround yourself with positive attitudes and positive people.

L.I.G.

2011-09-06T20:40:00.000-07:00

There is a lot of pain and hurt that I have been holding on to. Some pain is old and some pain is new. I am still trying to grasp the concept of this disease and the damage it has done to me and my family, but the pain and anger that I would really like to let go of is caused by my family. We use to be really close but everything changed when my father had his first heart attack. I was maybe 9 or 10 and he had so many little strokes and heart attacks that he ended up in the nursing home. Something happen to my family we just grew apart and I miss them so much. My mother - I love very much and it pains me to have told her to stop calling me today but there was and still is damage that she doesn't want to confront and because she refuses and ignores reality our relationship will always suffer. She recently did something that was unforgivable and she then pretends it didn’t even happen. It’s one thing to make a mistake and then realize that you have hurt someone and try to make it right, but when you really hurt someone and pretend you did nothing it really effects people in a different way.

So how do you stop someone from hurting you and disrupting your life especially when it’s your mother?

I asked my god mother what I should do and she said that I first have to figure out how to let go of the hurt and anger of the past not for her but for me to move forward. So, how do you do that when the person you are trying to heal from keeps calling pretending everything is fine and refuses to talk about anything.

I know she loves me in her odd way but it doesn’t excuse her from her actions and my job now is to protect and care for my children. I hope one day she can see that.

So for now I am going to PRAY, PRAY, PRAY.

Define Refined

2011-09-05T10:59:00.000-07:00

I was watching Joel Osteen on Sunday (one of my ways to gather inspiration) and he said The Lord puts obstacles in our way to help us grow and become refined. Growing is such a big part of our lives and some of us never do get better with age. It's as if they stand still in time.

It is funny because the other day I was in a rush at the grocery store because I had to catch a ride and the baby needed milk. There was no one in the 10 items or less so I snuck my 15 items in, but the cashier made a big deal about it and instead of letting the ugly things she said role off my back I decided to give her a big piece of my mind. NOT THE RIGHT THING TO DO. Why is it that when we are miserable we always try to bring people to our level?

I obviously still have a lot of growing to do!

I am getting better though because I just learned that a girl I was very close to once got drunk at a party and could say enough bad things about me. My first instinct was to confront her but I stepped back and thought about it. Does it really matter that much what she says. Besides, in a way I am flattered, it seems that her life is and always was consumed with what I was doing or saying.

Maybe we don't get the blessing we ask for because we are not yet ready for them!!!!!

Change

2011-09-02T10:27:00.000-07:00

My life has changed so dramatically from just a few years ago. Before you would have probably found me at the next biggest party chugging on some beer or seeing what trouble i could get into next. I moved out on my own when I was 16 and even before then, there wasn't much supervision or support in my life. So the path of destruction came very easily for me. But recently I have taken a step back and realized how far I have come.

Look at me now and you will see a person they may or may not do her hair that day because she is steady making sure everyone around her has everything they need to be productive that day. Crap, I rarely even leave my house. Some might say this is a terrible thing especially for new parents who think they will be able to be great parents and still party every night. Ha I say! I have little time and even less money.

This is not a terrible thing, if anyone out there has a parent who has always been there for them and who has helped them become who there are, then you owe them big. Your parents were once teenagers and kids, rent and food was the last thing on their mind, but one day something happens. When we are kids we really don't have anything to lose but when you start your family you could potentially lose everything and that fear makes you grow up.

I'm okay with growing responsible (I will never be old).

Drowning

2011-09-01T07:23:00.000-07:00

What do I feel...........?

I feel hurt, angry, sad, betrayed, alone, and yet even happy at times. Life is very complicated and hard for me and my children.

What do I want..........?

Ijust want to be happy, I want thing to run smoothly, I really, truly, want to believe, "everything is going to be okay." Eeverything is riding on me doing the right thing, making the right moves at the right time, and I am sooooo afraid of screwing up. There is no room for error, at all, anymore.

The weight of my world rest on my shoulders!!!!!

Single Parenthood

2011-08-31T11:53:00.000-07:00

Thanks for the guest post by Jonathan Curtis

Being a single father has been a difficult yet rewarding job. However, since my oldest daughter got her licenses life has gotten a little bit easier. Now instead of leaving work during the mid-afternoon to pick the kids of from school I can just get my daughter to do it for me. The great part is she doesn’t even look a running errand’s as a chore because she is still in awe of being behind the wheel. A lot of times I will ask to pick up something for dinner so we can just go ahead as soon as I get home, which is great for everybody. Although, having a sixteen-year-old daughter has it’s advantages I still worry about the kids being at home by themselves, but since I went and checked out HTTP://WWW.SECURITYCHOICE.COM Now I can get a lot more work done because my minds a little more at ease. My boss even commented on how much more productive I’ve been in the past couple of months and that’s rare compliment around my office.

Getting ready for our first day of school

2011-08-30T08:34:00.001-07:00

Guest post written by Melanie Stupp

Well obviously, my husband and I have already been to school and are done with it. But it's going to be our daughter's first day of school this year and I think that she's going to absolutely love it. She doesn't really seem to be nervous at all. I guess that we're the ones that are so nervous. But I'm sure that she's going to do absolutely fine and make lots of friends though.

I guess that there really isn't anything that we need to worry about when it comes to her going to school. She's very confident for a 5 year old, but very well behaved. Regardless, I looked up some ideas about how we could help her transition into being a student. While I was trying to find some of that stuff, I ran across the site http://www.clearwirelessinternet.com. After I looked through it a little bit, I decided to change over my home internet service to one of the packages that I saw on there, so I did.

I think that the first day of school is going to be a little tough on the two of us, but we're going to have to make it through it for her sake.

Bed Time!

2011-07-27T21:39:00.000-07:00

So I have been blessed to receive the newsiest edition to my library of body pain. For three days now I have been in bed with he most excruciating pain in my hips only to wake up with a terrific pain in my elbow. It is as if my joint are getting stuck. I can not straighting it nor can i put very much pressure on it. And it tends to get worse with more activity. The sharp pain that the elbow is giving off extends to my upper finger tips all the way to my shoulder blade.

Then today of all thing my heel started acting up again. I am on a roll.

My kids being the funny creatures that they are borrowed grandmas wheelchair to push me around since they say I am turning into an old lady. (joking always helps us get through these very tough times) But what they really don't know is I will really use that chair and make them push me to their school for registration day. Ha ha who's laughing now!

I don't how I make it every month or every day for that matter but I am doing it, one day at a time I guess.

So until tomorrow!

*Say hello*

Some silly pictures for your enjoyment!!

Lies Lies Lies

2011-07-02T06:54:00.000-07:00

Lies are very evil. Weather it is to friends, family or lovers, it can turn out horrible for everyone. Why would we want to even stay in a relationship where there's even the smallest amount of doubt about your loved one? Is there a certain reason that is acceptable to stay close to those who not being very truthful.

How about a family where the mother is the one constantly being ridiculed and accused of cheating. Should she stay because family mean everything to her.

or how about the dad that works so hard but yet doesn't get appreciated for the long hours he pulls to get his daughter prom dress but yet is brutally being punished for an affair that never happened.

or how about the daughter who loves her mother even though she lies profusely and money seems to be her god.

We can not just ignore the millions of relationships that are broken up everyday because of a lie! Could this be the reason we feel jealousy because we have all been hurt at some time or another and we always assume the worst in people.

Ever heard of innocent until proven guilty it would apply here!

STOP WORRYING WHAT OTHERS HAVE, BE GRATEFUL FOR THE BLESSING THAT LIE INFRONT OF YOU AND IF YOUR PARTNER IS CHEATING THE TRUTH ALWAYS COMES OUT, TRY BEING PATIENT AND REMEMBER EVERY EXPERIENCE WEATHER GOOD OR BAD IS THERE TO TEACH YOU SOMETHING.

Honesty is a beautiful thing, shouldn't we all try it more, weather it hurts feeling or not wouldn't you rather be honest.

Ripping off the band aid quickly allows more time for healing.

Friends and Family

2011-06-30T17:01:00.000-07:00

Friends are Relatives you choose to make your family!
Let me show you some of my framily (friend +Family)

My Babies

Handsome

Beautiful

Rock ON!!

Party Friends

Fun friends

*Sleepy Men*

All together now

Charlie bit me!!!

2011-06-27T13:52:00.000-07:00

A Little Light hearted today!

I can not wait to get my camera ready! monkey wants to crawl soooooo bad and I am so looking forward to stuff like this.

CHARLIEEEE

Something to think about

2011-06-26T10:17:00.000-07:00

My family has never been the closest family, and it seems that everyone in it is just out for themselves. This saddens me greatly, because to me my family is all I have. I could never imagine treating my children as my mom sometimes treats me and I could never imagine my children treating each other as my sisters treat each other.

So how does a family stay close?

This is something I have been working on since I had my first son. Every family will go through hard times it is inevitable, but how we chose to handle those hard time is what makes or breaks us as a family. I have my faults I know I do, I am the first one to admit I am not perfect. But no person that has family should have to feel the way I have felt.

So with my hurt comes my dedication to keep my family, the family that I have created, close. I struggle to make sure that we stay open to every conversation, communicates no matter what, and every feeling is okay to express, no one person is better than the next, and you are free to feel how you want.

We should be free to be who we need to be.
BUT
Recognize when you have hurt someone and make it right.

All smiles no frowns

Why I love the MTV music awards

2011-06-23T15:34:00.000-07:00

Why I Love the MTV Music Awards

This guest post from Walter Horn

My favorite awards show is the MTV Music Awards. I look forward to this ceremony every year. I think it is the liveliest of the awards show on television. I wish that MTV had it during the January or February season, so we do not have to wait until August or September. After all, the award shows play earlier in the year.

I enjoy seeing what the bands and artists are going to wear. It is not your typical formal affair. These artists go all out for the MTV Music Awards. It is truly entertaining to see what they are going to wear on stage or on the red carpet.

The hosts change every year for the MTV Music Awards. Unfortunately, I did not like Russell Brand or Chelsea Handler as hosts. I am not sure who I would like to host this year's MTV Music Awards. Possibly Jimmy Fallon since he is funny. It would be great to see Carson Daly back on MTV even though he is not funny.

It will be interesting to see what will go down on my favorite awards show this year. Will Britney Spears perform? What will Lady Gaga wear? Will Kesha win awards? I will definitely have to tune in to see my favorite performers and bands. I will make sure to watch my favorite awards show on expertsatellite.com.

Judgement

2011-06-08T13:58:00.000-07:00

I am a nice person and I choose which battles I want to fight but because I choose not to fight all the time people take that as a weakness and think they can walk all over me, but yet when I stand up for myself, I am every name in the book except my own. I choose to be a good mother and put my kids first even if that means great sacrifice. It does not make me any less of a person in fact try going through what I go through and I bet most people couldn't last one day. I am me and don't try to change that, if you don't like what you see you can close your eyes.

Except me don't try to Change me!

Judgement is a two sided sword !