So after a great deal of deliberation, I chose Ida Banon’s “My dog is so hairy that ticks have to use machetes just to get close to her skin.” I was tickled by the image of a vast army of tiny insects hacking their way through a hair jungle.

Thank you all for your entries; to see them, click here. If I can’t get hold of Ida in the next few days I know I have several other great ones to chose from.

And good news: There’s another Win-a-FURminator contest going on at Pet News & Views. Today is the last day, though, so hurry on over there!

My answer: I don’t think so.

A bit of background. I was away this past week in Portland, OR, on a travel writing assignment, and left Frankie, my insulin-dependent dog, in the care of Ruth (not her real name). Ruth,  who had worked for many years as a vet tech, had come highly recommended by a friend. During our initial interview, she had seemed extremely responsible. Nevertheless, I made it clear that I expected daily communication from her about Frankie.

Or I thought I made it clear.

Ruth didn’t phone the first night at the time we’d agreed upon, and when I called her, she didn’t answer her cell phone, but she did phone me back within half an hour. The next night she returned my call within a few minutes. But the following night…

As several of my Twitter pals who were privy to the drama that unfolded in the wee hours of this past  Saturday morning know,  I could not get hold of Ruth on Friday evening. I called and left messages on her cell phone until late into the night. I called my home land line — which, unfortunately, keeps its messages private, so I couldn’t shout at her to pick up the phone if she was within earshot.

I couldn’t sleep all night, worrying that something had happened to Ruth and picturing Frankie all alone, hungry and in need of insulin. I tried Ruth’s cell again at 5:30a.m. the next morning, which is when Frankie usually gets his first insulin shot. No answer. I then called my house and let the phone ring and hung up four times in succession — a clear sign of distress, I figured. Nada.

So finally, with the encouragement of my wonderful Twitter community, I called a friend at 6am — the one who had recommended Ruth as it happens — and asked her to go over to my house to check on Frankie.

When the friend got to my house, she phoned immediately to say that Frankie was fine. She handed her phone over to Ruth who, in contrast, was not fine. In fact, she was furious at the early morning intrusion. She’d left her phone at her home, she said — no biggie, she implied — and couldn’t believe that “I hadn’t trusted her” even though she’s a vet tech. I tried to explain that it had nothing to do with questioning her ability but that I was worried that something had happened to her, as a result of which she wouldn’t have been able to provide Frankie with any care, excellent or otherwise.

She wasn’t having it.

And although I was vastly relieved that Frankie was fine, my trip was ruined. I was exhausted because of lack of sleep, upset that I was being blamed for what had been, from my perspective, a clear mistake on her part.

Our final communication, which took place yesterday, was less than pleasant. I phoned to say I was coming back early, though not in time for Frankie’s evening feeding and shot. I asked her to stay afterwards, so I could pay her and she could return my keys. She said she couldn’t stay. I asked her to leave my keys. She said she wouldn’t — given how “things were between us,’ that she would give me my keys when she got my check.

I came home last night to find a full bowl of soggy food — including bits of cheese, which Frankie is not supposed to eat. This suggested to me that either Ruth gave Frankie his insulin shot without making sure he had eaten or that she had not given him his insulin. Her rather cryptic records indicated that insulin had been administered… who knows when. I decided to monitor Frankie’s water intake rather than trying to get an answer from Ruth who had indicated she wouldn’t be available.

This morning, I’m happy to report that Frankie is fine, and back on his regular food and insulin schedule. I’m still upset however, and tempted to change my locks rather than pay Ruth, who is holding my extra house keys hostage.

I’m a bit too close to this whole thing to impart much takeaway wisdom, except to add to my earlier post about finding a good pet sitter: Make sure to stipulate — in writing — exactly when and how you expect communication about your pet to occur. It won’t guarantee anything, but it will provide clarity.

P.S. Several of my aforementioned Twitter pals were pet sitters who were very irate on my behalf. And I’ve had excellent experiences with Frankie’s caretakers in the past. I consider Ruth an anomaly — but one who gave me the opportunity to make it clear how important communication with a client is.

Frankie would be completely bald if I used a FURminator on him so, instead, I’m going to give it away to someone who really needs it.  Someone with a very hairy dog.

How hairy is very hairy? Well, that’s what I’d like to know. The winner of this tool needs to convince me that his or her dog is the most deserving of the FURminator by sending in a comment that completes the following sentence: My dog is so hairy that…

You can tell the truth, but you don’t have to.  For example, “My dog is so hairy that you could blanket the bottom of the Grand Canyon with what she sheds” is a perfectly acceptable answer.

The contest starts today, March 3, and ends at midnight, March 7, Mountain Time. Winners will be announced March 9.

I’ll be out in Portland, OR, checking out local dog facilities — and ok, the city’s amazing restaurants, microbreweries, bookstores… — but I’ll be posting comments daily so as to avoid duplication.

Good luck, all my furry friends!

The legalities:

To enter, you must be a U.S. resident, age 18 or older (sorry, my Canadian pals).  Only one comment per person per giveaway post. Duplicate comments and anonymous comments will be discarded. Please make sure that the email address in your comment form is valid (email addresses are never public). Winners must claim their prize within three business days after the date of notification of such prize. A winner’s failure to respond to the prize notification within the specified three business days will be considered a forfeiture of the prize and an alternate winner may be selected from the pool of eligible entries. If an entrant is found to be ineligible, an alternate winner may also be selected from the pool of eligible entries. All bots will be disqualified. Winners shall be responsible and liable for all federal, state and local taxes on the value of their prize.

That said, finding care for Frankie when I go away is serious business, because he’s a shy guy and I need someone I trust to give him his insulin shots.

Of course, even outgoing dogs that don’t have health problems need to be left in good hands. And for those like Frankie, who would go into anxiety overdrive if he was not only separated from me but also sent away from home, that means having someone stay at your house

Thus this guest post by Courtney Klein, communications specialist for Pet Sitters International.

Finding the best care for your best friends

You got a great deal on plane tickets and are ready to jet away for some much needed time off, but what are you going to do with your pets?  Answering this question might be easier than you initially thought.

The first thing you need to determine is if your pet will react positively or negatively to traveling.  Just like no two humans are alike, no two pets are alike either.  Some pets love to travel, while others don’t.  Even if your pet enjoys traveling, the type of trip you are planning could curtail your plans of hitting the open road with Fido.

But who is going to watch your pets while you’re away?  While friends, family members or neighbors seem like a logical choice for pet care, a professional pet sitter has the experience and qualifications necessary to appropriately care for companion animals.

Pet Sitters International (PSI), the world’s largest educational association for professional pet sitters, recommends that you look for a pet-care professional who:

• is bonded and insured.
• belongs to a professional organization.
• visits your home before the first pet-sitting assignment to meet the pets and get detailed information about their care.
• exhibits courtesy and professionalism.
• provides references.
• provides a service contract that specifies services, fees and time allocated per visit.
• conducts business with honesty and integrity.
• has adequate knowledge and experience in caring for pets and is clearly mindful of their safety and well-being.
• phones to confirm you have returned home.
• has a veterinarian on call for emergency service.
• has a contingency plan for pet care in case of inclement weather or personal illness.

After locating the professional pet sitters in your area that meet the criteria, it’s always a good idea to conduct an initial interview to evaluate the candidates and review their credentials. It’s also the best way for pet sitters to familiarize themselves with the pets and homes in which they will be working.  Utilize PSI’s Pet Sitter Interview checklist to help you evaluate these candidates.

Hiring a pet sitter that meets these standards will give you peace of mind that your pets and home will be safe in the hands of a professional while you’re away.

To find the best care for your best friends, please visit The Pet Sitter Locator.

The largest bits of crockery flying through the air are:

The Blog

As some of you were nice enough to notice, my blog has a new look, which I’m very excited about. Among other things, Frankie’s Excellent Adventure, otherwise known as my book trailer, is now far easier to see.

The blog is a work in progress, with new features being added — there will be a “Subscribe by email button” and access to archives, for example  — but I’d love to know what you think.

The Twitter Chat

Mary Doane  (@turtlelady81) and Hilary Lane (@fangshuicanines) have begun a fun chat series on Twitter every Monday evening devoted to dogs and the people who love them. It’s aptly called #dogtalk and I am going to be the guest tomorrow at around 9pm EST. The topic: My weird & wonderful dog, where we will discuss all the odd things we’ve discovered about our dogs (my biggest surprise, for example, was that cute little Frankie ate poop). Expect fun, but not necessarily answers. Even vets don’t really know why dogs eat poop, except that it probably tastes good to them.

To access the forum, just type in #dogtalk on Twitter or go on to Tweetchat site, which provides remarkably clear instructions.

The Trip

This coming Wednesday, I’m heading for Portland, Oregon on a travel writing assignment. Although I am not going to be taking Frankie with me, I am going to be scoping out dog-friendly spots (that won’t be difficult; Portland LOVES dogs). I’m also going to be doing a book signing at the Hotel Monaco on Thursday, March 4, from 4-6 pm, with proceeds from book sales and cocktails going to the Oregon Humane Society.

Leaving Frankie behind always involves a lot of stress, especially when it comes to finding a good pet sitter. I’ve discovered a very promising one — a former vet tech — through a friend, and tomorrow a guest post by a representative of Pet Sitters International will offer advice to people who don’t have a reliable network of personal advisers (a.k.a. friends and family).

The Contest

Because I’m not going to have much time to blog while I’m on the road, I’m going to leave you with the promised contest to win the much-coveted FURminator.

I’m doing the show again this afternoon, and am still not ready to send people away from our fair city. But I’m ready to suggest how they can get ready to travel before it’s time to leave town. I’m not talking about packing gear and doing other last minute stuff but about advance preparation that will help you find your dog if he runs off while you’re on the road — not an uncommon occurrence — and help ensure his health while you’re away from your usual support systems.

Update your dog’s microchip data

Sure, you had your dog microchipped when you first got him. (If you’re a conspiracy theorist who thinks this is a way for the government to track you down or one who worries more about the minuscule risk — from unsubstantiated studies — of your dog getting cancer on the chip site than about the risks of losing your dog, I’m not talking to you.)  But a microchip is only as good as the information it contains. Call the company responsible for creating the chip and make sure they have you most recent telephone number and vet information on file. Don’t know which company that is? Now is a good time to find out. You should have that data on a tag on your dog’s collar or in the file on your computer that you created when you registered on line (fat chance, right). When in doubt, call your vet.

Make the collar tags as useful as possible

Did you put your cell phone number rather than your land line number on your dog’s tag (I know, I’m dating myself; who has a land line anymore, right)? Did you announce any special medical conditions prominently? I put my money where my mouth is yesterday and had a tag made up that says

I’M FRANKIE & I’M DIABETIC, TEL XXX-XXX-XXXX

Consider investing in a GPS collar

If your dog is large and has escape artist tendencies, this might be the time to consider a GPS collar. They’re usually too heavy for small dogs, who are easier to hold on to in any case. Even mellow dogs run off at rest stops–whether out of fear that you’re driving them off to a new home, or a sense of adventure, or… who knows.

Create a file of  relevant health records

You’re not expected to bring along an entire veterinary  file on vacation with you, and registration tags ensure up-to-date rabies vaccinations. Still, in case of emergency, it’s good to have on hand information about any medications your dog might have taken or about any medical conditions that might affect subsequent treatment.

Update: And here’s the video version, which incorporates the advice offered in my comments section by Rod at GoPetFriendly.com – and which stars Frankie.

To wit:

Get a reference

Yes, this is a no brainer, but sometimes it’s easy to be fooled by an appealing ad or charming sign on a pet boutique. Ask your vet, neighbors, friends and family members to recommend places they’ve had a track record with — not those they’ve just tried once.

Tour the facilities

Drop in unannounced and say you’re looking for a new groomer and want to look around. If you’re not allowed into the area where the grooming is done, leave.

Things to look for while you’re checking the place out include:

• Cleanliness. Not only of the cages but also of the entire room. You don’t want your dog rolling around in other dogs’ dirty, discarded hair.
• Safety. As alert commenter Mary Haig of DancingDogBlog noted in my last post, some groomers leave scissors and other sharp instruments on the table near the dogs — an open invitation to injury.
• Spaciousness. Your dog should have plenty of room to move around in a cage, maybe read a few magazines, while waiting his turn to be groomed.
• Kindness. Another no-brainer, but sometimes brusqueness is mistaken for professionalism. The staff should act as though they actually like dogs (yours in particular).
• Up-to-date equipment. Aside, of course, from cage dryers. Check also to see that the hand dryers don’t use heat. The latest models, geared specifically towards pet grooming, work with cool air alone.

Talk to the staff

Don’t only chat with the owner, but also with the groomer who’s likely to be working on your dog. Since a license may not be required, you can’t ask a staff member to produce one, but you can ask her about the type and length of her experience and what inspired her to choose the profession (“I just got out of the slammer and this was the only job I could get without references” is not among the correct answers). You can also ask about her grooming philosophy; she doesn’t have to quote Heidegger or Spinoza, only tell you how she feels about what works best for her canine charges.

In the end, trust your gut –- and your dog. If you’re feeling uneasy and your usually calm, outgoing pup starts shaking and whimpering, head for the door.

Go mobile

Consider having a groomer come to you; this is an especially good option for fearful and elderly dogs (and owners) and it eliminates such potential grooming hazards as waiting, cage drying, and unobserved meanness. Mobile grooming vans are common in many cities, but they generally require a water hookup, which means they can’t service urban high-rises or even many suburban apartment complexes. If you don’t mind a temporary mess, most groomers who are willing to make house calls would also willing to use your bathroom as a workspace, and even to clean up afterwards.

Take responsibility

Groomers have to rely on the information you give them about your dog.  You have a responsibility to be honest with them –-  and with yourself. Of course you have the best dog in the world, but face it: others might (irrationally) find him intimidating.

When a groomer discusses possible scenarios with you –- how your dog responds to his feet being touched, for example — tell the truth. Some dogs are generally polite but go ballistic when confronted by strangers with shiny instruments. A good groomer will tell you whether or not she is equipped to handle the type of behavior you describe –- or ask you if it’s okay to use tranquilizers. These should be a last recourse, and you should only use a type to which you know your pup is not sensitive. Still, if your dog is in danger of being condemned as a public health hazard, sedation might be in everyone’s best interest.

Recently, however, I decided to get him gussied up for a trip to the Ritz-Carlton Dove Mountain, with less than pleasant results. I can’t swear that his corneal ulcer was caused by careless grooming, but the timing of getting a hair in his eye that he rubbed at and which in turn led to the ulcer seems rather suspicious.

I trust the owner of the dog boutique/groomer I took Frankie to. Mistakes happen, and — an expensive vet visit later — Frankie is fine. Sadly, some dogs don’t survive a visit to the groomer.

Anyone with a water source and a pair of clippers can put out a dog-grooming shingle in many states, no license required. And these seemingly benign professionals — after all, groomers aren’t practicing medicine, right? — can pose grave dangers to your dog.

Among the things that you should look out for:

Cage drying

Similar to clothes dryers without the rotation, cage dryers are enclosures into which your dog is placed and blasted with air in order to dry his hair. Some units (see below) offer separate cages for more than one dog. These devices are good for groomers, who can increase the volume of their business by working on other dogs while yours is drying, but not so good for the dogs, who can’t escape (and who can’t sweat; they can only pant to try to cool themselves off). If the temperature is turned up too high and your dog is left in too long, she can dehydrate and die.

As a result of several canine fatalities, a few states are trying to outlaw cage dryers.

Some reputable groomers contend that they use only the unheated fan option, even going so far as to remove the heat coil. Others say they never set the temperature above 80 degrees and never leave the room. Maybe so, but why tempt fate? At the least, these enclosures are likely to frighten the bejeezus out of your dog.

Unauthorized tranquilizing

If a groomer is sufficiently gentle –- and doesn’t use scary equipment — your dog shouldn’t need to be tranquilized. Some clients allow their dogs to be sedated, which is their prerogative (I guess), albeit one that should be used very sparingly. Some groomers, however, don’t ask –- and don’t tell. That constitutes practicing medicine without a license and without permission from the patient’s guardian. If your dog is allergic to them, tranquilizers can be as dangerous as cage dryers.

Overlong stays

Imagine waiting in a doctor’s office all day with other equally stressed out patients, many of whom are yelling at each other and at the receptionist. Loud, frightening noises are coming from places that you can’t see. And oh, yes, you can’t stretch your legs or get up to go to the bathroom.

Why would you want to subject your dog to that?

A good groomer should stagger appointments so that your dog is worked on and available to be picked up as quickly as possible. Two hours, total, is ideal; up to half a day is reasonable. A full day – fuggedaboudit. Taking your dog to a groomer isn’t, as some owners seem to regard it, a way to get free dog sitting.

If you’re just getting your dog’s nails clipped and/or anal sacs expressed, it’s reasonable to ask if you can wait; it shouldn’t take more than 10 minutes, total. I almost never (aforementioned corneal ulcer-causing appointment excepted) leave Frankie at a groomer; it would make us both unhappy.

And even the well-intentioned can be overwhelmed by the difficulty of improving the world. Most of the readers of this blog, say, would love to help dogs, but may not have a clear idea of how to do that. I usually count myself among them.

So I’m passing along a two-fer: An opportunity to redeem your faith in human nature and to help a dog.

Jim McBean of DoggyBytes.ca isn’t exactly a stranger — he’s been a guest blogger on this site — but I don’t know his cousin Theresa. Or her family. I do know, through Jim’s blog today, that their dog, Ginger (aka Shugie), needs life-saving surgery. So go over to his site and read the story. Then make a donation, even just a little one. I did, and it’s made me feel better about myself and about the world.

Try it. You’ll see.

Update: By coincidence, I just came across an article in The Week about the nature of compassion, how it’s easier to wrap your head around the plight of a single sufferer — in the article’s example, a small dog lost at sea — than a group in distress. It’s a fascinating excerpt from a book called The Hidden Brain by Shankar Vedantam. Check it out here.

Shedding is a natural, ongoing process for dogs, just as it is for humans. As anyone who’s ever worn a black sweater or jacket can attest, regular brushing and combing won’t prevent some divestment of hair. But some dogs, like some people (say, males of a certain age), shed more than others. The double-coated breeds are the worst offenders; many send forth so much hair that they practically create an alternative dog, giving rise to the expression “blowing coat” (which has always sounded vaguely druggie to me).

Alaskan Malamutes are serious shedders! Image via OMalMalamutes.com

Which brings to mind — I’m not even going to try to explain the chain of associations — the fact that some people spin dog hair and weave or knit it into clothing. I find this intensely creepy –- not the least because, should I be complimented on them, I wouldn’t want to admit that I was wearing a scarf or sweater made from Frankie.

A coat for some seasons

The only consolation about the mass exodus of hair is that it’s seasonal, and therefore predictable. Increases in daylight and warmth in spring signal certain canine brains to release hormones that spur the dogs’ undercoat to grow and push off their topcoats. A similar though somewhat less dramatic version of this process occurs in fall, when the pups know they need to grow a new winter coat (unlike kids who always require back-to-school wear, at least dogs do it themselves and never demand designer labels).

Shedding, interrupted

A few things can interfere with regular shedding.

• Seasonal confusion: If you keep a dog who’s genetically programmed to shed seasonally indoors most of the time, he may not register natural changes in temperature and light and therefore shed year round. Copiously. Which proves it’s a bad idea to mess with Mother Nature.

• Bad shampooing practices: Using human shampoo can dry your dog’s skin, as can shampooing too often. Even dog shampoos with perfumes that are not from natural sources may result in hypersensitivity –- all additional causes of shedding.

• Overstimulation: Excitement and stress can trigger hair-loss hormones, too. If you can’t get your dog to meditate, consider Doga.

• Health problems: In rare cases, excessive shedding may be a symptom of a health problem, from a food allergy to a thyroid imbalance. If your dog isn’t the shedding sort or if the off-season hair loss seems excessive, check with your vet.

Still, if shedding can’t be prevented through grooming, it can be managed by it; see my recent do-it-yourself grooming post. It’s far better to have hairs concentrated on a brush or on a newspaper than randomly faux-carpeting your floor or creating furry throws for your couch. You can entrap large swathes of your dog’s coat with a rake or de-shedding tool*, even –- or especially – during her molting season.

There’s always the vacuuming fallback. But that’s for another post.

*Exciting news: The response in the comments section of the aforementioned grooming post was so enthusiastic about the FURminator, one of the included products, that the company noticed and offered to send me one for review. I can’t use a FURminator on Frankie, who would be completely denuded, but I plan to give one away in a contest.