I’ve been a fan of Macs for as long as I can remember. Unfortunately, due to circumstances I’d rather not go into, I can only remember as far back as 1990.

It was about this time that I discovered Douglas Adams. I immediately became a huge fan and, as any huge fan would do, I made it my business to find out as much about Mr Adams as I could.

One of the things I found out was that Douglas Adams had a lot of love for the Macintosh computer. Naturally, I wanted one too because if I had a Macintosh I would be a proper writer like my new hero. But computers were expensive so I put it out of my mind, until I became a mature student.

I’d been writing since I left school but had outgrown my typewriter and my Tandy laptop word-processor with its 4 line LCD screen and Brother portable printer.  I wanted to design the page too and use DTP software like QuarkXPress or Adobe PageMaker or even ClarisWorks.

The Desire

It was time to look at getting that Macintosh computer. So I bought the magazines, despite them being aimed at business types and highly paid designers. I sent off for the free guide to setting up your new Mac (from MacUser, I think) and I learnt all about the Happy Mac and Sad Mac. Finally, I started to save my pennies.

And that’s when it got messy and confusing.

I’d been eyeing up the Mac Classic, but Apple were just bringing out the Classic II. So with my sights fixed firmly on the new model I began to find the cash. It took months, but soon I almost had the required amount. That’s when Apple brought out the new, Colour Classic.

Obviously, a colour screen and a faster processor was the way forward so I decided to change my plans again and aim for the new, new model. This was clearly the greatest plan I ‘d ever come up with. I was the Napoleon of Apple Macs at this point. I knew what I wanted and I knew how to set it up when it arrived. And then, a broadside, Apple brought out the Colour Classic II.

By now I had started to get a little annoyed with Apple. Didn’t they realise how hard it was for me to get this kind of money together? Even with a student discount I’d already had to save up about £1500 ( I wanted a colour bubble-jet printer too) and Apple kept moving the goal posts. Something strange took over my mind. Something less “designer” and more “nerd”. Something, “Microsoftey”.

The Shame

It didn’t take much research to see that for the same money I could get a PC with comparable specs as a Mac Colour Classic II. Of course, back then, it wasn’t simply a case of comparing the numbers – Macs and PCs had radically different architecture – but I was blinded by the figures.

Eventually, I made my choice and plumped for a Goldstar 486 PC with Windows 3.1 and I’ve regretted it ever since. For once you get on the PC train, it’s really hard to get off.

Each time I outgrow my PC I have enough money for a new one, but only half the money needed for a new Mac. It just makes sense (financially at least) to stick with PCs. Even if you really don’t want to.

And I really don’t want to.

I’m desperate to change over to a Mac but I just can’t afford it. I even buy the magazines and books in an attempt to persuade myself to keep saving. But then I need to buy food and the money goes away again.

And then I had an idea.

The Offer

Magazines like MacFormat, MacUser and MacWorld are always doing guides to switching, but there’s always something missing. It’s all very well giving tips on how to change over from PC to Mac but what is it actually like?

How different are they really? Does the difference in software and OS make things that much harder to get used to? How much of my PC would I really miss? Does owning a Mac turn you into a douche instantly or not at all?

These are the things we need to know.

I would like to offer my services to MacFormat, MacUser and MacWorld, or any other computer based publication for that matter, in order to answer these questions.

All you need to do is buy me an iMac or MacBook, and I will use it to write you a series of articles on what switching is really like. I’ll cover the obvious stuff like, “where the hell is my ‘#’ key.” And I’ll look at the less obvious stuff like, “How much more awesome am I now?”

It’s win, win for all involved. I get a shiny new Mac (at last) and finally become a proper writer. You get some first hand observations from an actual switcher. What have you got to lose?

Look, there’s a contact form on this site or you can reach me on twitter. Don’t let the competition pick up on my offer first.

Have a think and I’ll speak to you soon.

Lots of love,

Mr Uku xx

Update

Since posting this piece I have been contacted by the Mac Magazines in question and they have all turned down my offer. On the same day, Apple introduced a series of new iMacs.

Coincidence? Probably, but it really makes you think.

As I make my living (meagre though it is) from my writing, I make sure I back-up all of my work. It’s a good thing too or all these changes of computer would have been even worse. Lost work is lost money and all that.

But it got me thinking, do the rest of you make back-ups or do you just get so caught up in your stories that you forget about it? Maybe you think it’s too difficult or expensive. Well, let me tell you; you should back-up because it’s easy and it’s free. And if your hard drive suddenly carks it, like mine did, and you lose all your stories or your unfinished novel then you’ve only yourself to blame.

Housekeepy

There are many ways of making back-up copies of various files or folders on your hard-drive. You can save to a USB stick or portable disc, or you could burn your files to a DVD. You could even back-up your entire hard-drive if you really wanted to, but that’s not what I’m interested in here.

I want to keep this as simple as possible and show you how you can make copies of any file or folder without doing anything complicated… well, maybe a little complicated, but only once.

The first thing you’ll need to learn is, good housekeeping.

Don’t just keep your story files in the My Documents folder on your PC or whatever the Mac equivalent is. Make a special folder and call it My Stories or My Scribbles or Super Happy Fun Time Writing Basho or something. The important thing is to call it something you’ll remember.

Save it somewhere you’ll remember too. If that’s in your My Documents folder, then fine; I keep mine right on the desktop so I never have to think about it too hard. Inside that folder are numerous other folders each of which contains a separate project. How you organise your folder is up to you.

OK, so you’ve got all you stories organised in your story folder. You’ve done this so that when you come to back it up, everything’s in one place. See how easy that’s going to make things?

Now you have to download something and sign up to something.

The back-Up

I’m going to give you a choice of two services and they are, Dropbox and Windows live Sync. They both work with either Pc or Mac and are pretty similar in operation.

Dropbox will create a folder (on my PC it’s right on the desktop) that acts like any other desktop folder. I drag my story folder into it and it’s copied to my Dropbox account in “the cloud”. Windows Live Sync works in a similar way but instead of creating an extra folder, you choose a folder to synchronise; in this case, my story folder. Now every time I make a change to a file and save it within that folder, it automatically updates the online copy too.

How easy is that?

Both of these services provide you with 2Gb of cloud based space, free of charge. That’s more than enough for us writers as our files will mainly be text.

Also, I’ve not gone into detail in how to set these services up as they’re really easy to understand. And I realise that a lot of this post may sound really simple and obvious, but I still see people on Twitter who don’t seem to be aware of things like this. So if I’ve told you stuff you already knew, then I apologise. But if you’ve learnt anything, then I’m happy knowing I’ve helped.

So go and have a look and don’t say I didn’t tell you.

Wise words indeed. In fact, I’m regularly bitten on the arse by my own plans. I can plan for England if I really put my mind to  it.

I’m more than happy sitting for days and days, thinking things through, making mind maps, drawing little sketches, writing character bios, hunting for photos that will offer some sort of inspiration or seeing how long I can make a sentence before anyone realises just how long I’ve been labouring over the same point.

It never used to be like this.

When I was at school the English teacher would ask us to write a story about something  and I’d write one. No planning, no plotting, no character development, just writing. So what’s changed?

The thing I never did in school was read a whole lot of, How-To-Write, books. Since then, I’ve read dozens of them and the one thing they all have in common is the importance they place on the planning stage.

Many of the older ones place an inordinate amount of importance on planning. One asks for 25 pages of background information on each character, before you start the story, in order to really get under their skin. I’d struggle to write 25 pages on my own life, never mind some imaginary idiot’s.

Being a mindless fool, I’ve clearly taken this advice to heart and now find myself planning things out so much that I never actually get around to writing the damn story. So it’s lucky that the more modern books present an alternative. That of just getting on and writing the story, making it all up as you go along.

Stephen King, for example,  says that he likes to just start writing, having come up with nothing more than a vague kind of “what if” beginning. So I’ve taken this on board, thought it through, planned it out and developed:

Mr Uku’s Story Development Technique

To use this technique, all you need is a starting point. No planning is to be done beyond the basic premise of the story and the main character(s) involved.

Once you have your starting point or vague idea, you begin writing. What’s important at this stage, is that you keep telling yourself this is the FIRST draft. Don’t worry about getting your descriptions just right. Don’t worry about getting just the right bits of dialogue. Christ, you can even just mark the place with notes that something incredible and witty needs to be inserted here. Just get on with the damn story.

This first draft becomes your story and character plan rolled into one and will eventually become a full length synopses.

This synopses draft will, obviously,  be full of flaws. There’ll be characters that just don’t work, plot holes and all the other cock-ups you’ve been trying to avoid. But there’ll good stuff too. There’ll be a complete plot for starters; even if you change it all later you’ll have a better idea of where it’s going. You’ll have a much better understanding of your characters too without having to write 25 pages of bio.

The second draft is where you do your planning and start to fill out all the descriptive details and witty dialogue. Only now, it’s more like editing. You tidy up the plot, flesh out the characters, make notes as you go and start the rewrite. Notice how much easier this second draft is now that you’ve got the whole story down in a complete form and not just a bunch of disconnected plans?

The third draft should require nothing more than a few cosmetic changes and checks for spelling and grammar. And you’re done. Easy.

Alright, maybe I over simplified things just a touch, but I stand by the technique and will be doing things this way from now on.

The beauty of it is that if your character notes are as in-depth as say, “a man who lives in a graveyard and collects noses” then the fleshing out of this weirdo is done in the actual story and not in pages of psychological dissection and background

The same goes for the plot. You’re notebook may only have a single line to explain the idea but why spend all your time fleshing it out when you can just get on and write it.

I hope I don’t sound like I’m trying to impart my writerly wisdom on you all, because I really don’t have any.  But this is how I think and if somebody else finds it useful too, then good.

If you’ve got your own methods, please feel free to let us all know how you work in the comments.

Ta.

Look, there they are, in that picture. See the mess? See the devastation? See where they’re standing? There used to be a wall there.

You’re probably wondering why I’m whining about this on my blog. After all, it’s meant to be a writing blog, isn’t it? Well, technically, yes. But it’s also my blog and I’ll write about what I want. Anyway, this is about writing. So shut up and keep reading.

Having the builders in is not something I’ve been looking forward to. I’ve had them in before and I didn’t like it, not one bit. It made me pull this face:

That’s me looking not happy, that is. Notice the downward turning mouth and the lack of any sort of hat? That’s how you know I’m not happy.

So next time you see me looking like that you can say, “Look, there’s Mr Uku. He’s not happy. You can tell by his downward turning mouth and lack of hat.”

And yet, I still manage to look strangely handsome. Not everyone can pull that off you know. I’m just one of those naturally good looking people who can look gorgeous and sad at the same time. I’m like a male Winona Ryder.

The reason I’ve got a face on is not just because of the upheaval, after all the fitters are only working in the kitchen. But having a home full of strangers has stopped me from doing the stuff I normally do. And I’m only now realising how important that stuff is to my writing.

Like the rest of you, if I spent my whole day sat in front of the laptop, I’d go spare. So in order to stay sane(ish) I entertain myself in a variety of ways.

I stare out the window. I sing. I dance. I talk ideas over out loud to sound them out. I yell obscenities at idiots on the TV, radio and interwebs. I play odd music from my odd music collection. I dress up. I pace about the flat. Anything to help move the day along and keep my brain fresh.

But these builders have taken over so much of the flat that I can’t do any of that stuff without looking like a weirdo. They already think I’m odd because for the whole time they’ve been here all they’ve seen me do is sit in front of a computer. They clearly think I do nothing all day while they sweat and whistle. If I try to explain, I get looks of pity. Bloody builders.

Half of my kitchen is in my living room, the other half is in my bedroom. There is plaster and heavy duty cling-film everywhere. I can’t get to my window to stare out of it. I can’t sing, dance or yell obscenities without looking odd. I can’t hear my odd music over the constant whistling. I can’t get to my dressing-up box. And I can’t pace about without falling over furniture, builders or the contents of my cupboards.

No kitchen means no bacon or cheese on toast. I’ve had to get up at 7am every morning which is just awful. Worse, I’ve been unable to take my usual afternoon nap. What’s the point of working at home if you can’t have a bit of a kip?

To me, routine is vital to my writing. It’s like I have to-do list in my head that I tick off throughout the day. I feel lost if things don’t happen when I expect them to and if I’m unable to do the things I normally do, well, you may as well lock me in a cupboard. It’s not really that different to losing your special writing pen or Moleskine, is it?

I need to feel comfortable in my writing space.

Everyone keeps telling me, it’ll all be worth it when it’s done. And I mean everyone. There’ll be blood before the end of the week and more of it if they’re wrong.

So I’ve been given yet another award – I know, I really do totally deserve it – this time it’s from that Jane Travers. As you can see from the picture, it’s the “Creative Writer” Blogger Award which means I have to do some lying.

Lying is not something I’m used to doing at all, in fact I’m almost insulted. If it wasn’t for the fact that I have “cheat and liar” on my CV, I might get offended. It’s right there under Hobbies and Interests.

Like the Honest Scrap Award I got recently, I’m also obliged to nominate six more bloggers. I didn’t do it then and I’m not too sure about it now, only because I know a lot of people just get annoyed by this sort of thing. I’m only doing it myself because I enjoy lying so much.

If I did nominate people, they would be:

• @wildelycreative
• @balmeras
• @rosiebunny
• @blondepinky3
• @NatalieAdcock
• @NettieWriter

There, that’ll learn ‘em. Anyway, back to me.

In order to collect this award, and this goes for all of you that I’ve just nominated, you have to write a list consisting of six untruths or “lies” and one half truth. The game for the rest of you is to try and guess which is the half truth. Answers in the comments section kiddies.

Here’s my list:

1. I’m obsessed with the colour Magenta and like to make sure that I wear an item of Magenta coloured clothing every single day.
2. Ironically, I am actually allergic to cake.
3. In my youth, I was quite the footballer and tried out for Chelsea. An injury in my “gentleman’s area” put paid to that career path before it had even started.
4. Although my given name is Mr Uku, I am actually the Reverend Uku and have performed many weddings and christenings.
5. I once had a stand up row with John Lesley in the BBC canteen after he jumped the queue so he could get the last piece of pie.
6. In my school days, I would regularly top up my pocket money by conning my friends out of theirs with the 3 card trick (find the lady).
7. I like to collect Japanese salt sachets from restaurants. I have over 50.

So there you go, that’s my list. But which is the half truth? Make your guesses in the comments section and I shall reveal the answer in a day or so.

Those of you who have been nominated, I can only apologise for so long, so just get on.

Laters