Will Write For Jesus

Love Lives On

2013-07-24T16:13:00.005-04:00

I was sitting at my desk feeling thankful, and blessed, and humbled by the blessings I have been given by God just a few minutes ago, when movement at the window caught my eye. I looked over to see a Monarch butterfly flutter in and out of view three times before disappearing and, as always when I see a butterfly, I thought of my mother.

Even though it has been nearly seven years since my mother passed away, I still think of her every day. Whenever I see a butterfly, though, I feel the warmth of her love inside me because I know she is living on in eternity and that the love we have for each other has no ending in time. My mother loved butterflies and in her home she had a collection of ceramic flowers with butterflies resting on the petals. The flowers were all different, and so were the butterflies. I confess that I never asked her why she liked that image so much, but it has become one of the lasting images I have of her.

Butterflies signify change, and the metamorphosis from one form to another, just like our re-creation from human body to heavenly body. Their beauty is a reminder of how beautiful our own heavenly bodies will be when we return to unity with our Lord in heaven. We cannot imagine it, but I know that the difference will likely be as stark as the difference between a caterpillar and that Monarch flying outside my office window.

Coming Back Home

2013-07-20T16:14:00.003-04:00

Sometimes I spend long periods of time studying my Bible. Then, I'll go on "vacation" and get engaged in other things. Before long, I realize - as I have recently - that something good is missing from my life.
When I read my Bible daily, I get comfort and wisdom all wrapped up in one package. There are many scriptures that bring me great job; others leave me puzzled and musing for the rest of the day.

I am finding that need to be back "home" in the scriptures where I can gather up courage, rest in comfort and grow in faith. I'm curious how you cope with these peaks and valleys - or do you? Would love to hear your comments.

Christmas Day & the birth of Jesus

2012-12-26T11:50:00.001-05:00

Every year I hear a lot of talk among friends, family and on TV about whether December 25 was the actual birth date of Jesus. There is always discussion about the date being taken over by early Christians from a pagan festival that used to be held on that day. Debate swirls around which calendar, Gregorian or Julian, should be used to calculate the date. And there is talk about whether Jesus was actually born in the Spring, or maybe 3 years earlier than we thought - and on, and on.

I have come to realize that it doesn't really matter. Our Christmas Day, December 25, is the day we set aside every year to celebrate the birth of our Savior. It makes no difference whatsoever whether he was born in winter or mid-August. To me, it is the symbolism of the light of Christ coming into the world that is important. It is important that we set aside a day to worship by celebrating Christ's birth. We use the occasion to share our joy by giving gifts to others - again a symbol that reflects the gifts of the Magi.

I have learned to tune out the debate over which day Jesus was born and focus on what is really important: the fact that our Lord sent his only son to us, in human form, as an immense act of love and compassion.

Merry Christmas.

Plucking out sin from my life

2012-10-21T08:54:00.001-04:00

So this morning I was doing the same thing a lot of women do - tweezing out a few stray eyebrow hairs. Most women in our culture, and even some men, are familiar with this exercise because it is part of what we do to maintain our looks. While I was doing it, I observed that as I have gotten older I have had fewer and fewer stray eyebrow hairs to worry about. I thought about that, and it occurred to me that after a while, I guess you totally kill off the root of the hair and it is gone forever. And that got me to thinking about sin.

The allegory came to me right there in front of my magnifying mirror: plucking eyebrows is like getting rid of sin in my life. When I recognize there is a sin, and I really want to get it out of my life, it takes repeated work to do it. It's hard to make a change to a habit and if the habit has roots in me, then it will take a little plucking to get it all out. It grows back quickly and easily and there I am again the next morning, staring at it in a magnifying mirror. But at least I see it, and if I focus my efforts on getting rid of it, eventually I don't have to do it every day.

Of course, in this story, I don't really have tweezers to get at my sin, I've got prayer. I pray and God answers, that is how it works. Sometimes the answer I get isn't the one I expected, but I always get an answer. Many times the answer is "keep at it, I'll do my part if you do yours." As I pray for strength to remove a particular sin from my life, I am taking the most direct action I can to pluck at the roots and I know, eventually and with God's grace, it will be gone for good.

It's a Good Morning!

2012-10-17T06:28:00.002-04:00

Every morning on the hour, our local Christian radio station plays an upbeat, impossible-to-forget song by Mandisa, who is joined by Toby Mac. The song is called "Good Morning" and if you haven't heard it, you should go to iTunes or Pandora and find it and listen to it. I guarantee it will lift your spirits.

The song is such an inspiration to me that I have it programmed as my alarm ring tone for my phone so that I am sure to hear it every single day. I find something so uplifting and energizing about the song, and such a great reminder of God's forgiving spirit, that I really want to start my day off with those sentiments.

It is one of those songs that sticks with me all day long. I don't know if Mandisa hears this a lot, but I just can't get it out of my head once I've heard it. I truly do "wake up singing" - in my head, at least.

I can carry the message of God's love around in my head all day long just because of a catchy tune. But it is the fact that I am being intentional about filling my head with that tune that makes it an effective way to smooth out the day ahead and create a bit of a glide path for me to launch my day.

So thanks, Mandisa and Toby Mac, and thanks to The Promise radio station, for bringing me such a wonderful way to start my day.

A Dry Season

2012-09-03T18:01:00.003-04:00

It's been a dry season for me, this summer. I find that the busy daily life I lead interferes with the deeper spiritual connections I want and need. I also have a million excuses for not doing the work I need to do that will correct the situation.

Today, I am thanking God for my blessings, and for his mercy and his forgiveness. I know this season will pass but I am grateful for a God who understands what it is like to be human.

Good Morning Lord!

2012-07-31T07:32:00.002-04:00

Good morning Lord! It is an amazing, beautiful day in your Kingdom here on earth. I am overwhelmed with the majesty of the sun filtering through the leaves, the birdsong, the smell of freshly-mown grass, the light touch of a breeze on my cheek. Everything about this morning is perfect and I can't imagine a moment more amazing.

But I know there is a place even more beautiful and it has me grasping at the edges of my imagination. How can heaven be even better than this? And yet, it is. It is better because you are there. There is warmth and love and acceptance in every atom. Peace, at last, and no worry about sickness, war, injury, death, money or the daily ins and outs of earthly life.

As beautiful as this morning is, Lord, I know you have a better place in store for me. I am awed by the thought and grateful for such a blessing beyond my ability to speak or think.

Good morning Lord, and thank you.

Tied to the Wrong Rock

2012-06-22T06:48:00.003-04:00

"The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge." Psalm 18:2
One morning while I was praying, I asked God to help me let get of my need to always be right. God showed me a vision of me swimming in a sea, tied to a big boulder with a rope. God said "you're tied to the wrong rock." And it is true, and I felt it in every molecule of my body. Instead of being tied to the rock of God, the fortress, God my strength and deliverer, I've have been tied to a rock of self-righteousness. That will cause me to drown before it ever saves me. What a revelation! And what peace it brought me, knowing God was listening and showing me where I need to go. Now I am praying for instructions on how to untie the bindings that hold me to falsehood and lies, and for an instruction guide to roping myself to God's strength, His love, His wisdom.

The Gift of Sight

2012-05-01T07:30:00.001-04:00

"The poor and the oppressor have this in common -- the Lord gives sight to the eyes of both."
- Proverbs 29:13

This passage spoke to me over and over this morning during my scripture reading. And so I want to examine what it brings to me today. God gives us the ability to see and recognize who we are, and what we do, and what others do. God gave me the ability to examine my actions and square them with what I witness in the actions of Jesus and holy people. Those eyes can glaze over and miss the poor, the needy or they can focus on what is right in front of me that requires my loving help. I can see - or not see - and I suppose that the not seeing is what makes me an oppressor.

I once heard something very wise from a Daughter of Charity who I had the pleasure to work with for many years. Sr. DeSales was one of the first people I met when I went to work for a Catholic hospital, and she gave us an orientation I have never forgotten. She said that everyone is poor in some way, that it has nothing to do with worldly goods. People who are sad, lonely, broken in spirit, in pain physically or emotionally are all poor. We sometimes cannot tell those who are poor in spirit just by looking at them. They may be wealthy with money and goods, but agonizing on the inside.

God gave me eyes to see, he gave me the ability to recognize and contemplate what I see in front of me. Whether I am poor or an oppressor - most likely some combination of the two - I have the gift of sight to distinguish the holy from the sinful.

Christ is Risen Indeed!

2012-04-08T09:00:00.000-04:00

Easter morning, a day of celebration and reflection. For me, it is an anniversary, too. It was on Easter Sunday that I first felt the touch of God, his reaching out to me and me finally understanding that. Something in the words the pastor was saying led me out of my own wilderness and my heart opened to God at last. A few years later, I was baptized and celebrated the moment with my youngest son. As we came dripping from the pool, I was elated and filled with God's transforming love. I am so blessed that my mother and grandmother were with us that day. They are both gone, now, and living with Jesus in Paradise, but it was a tremendous bonding moment for me with my mother. Easter lives in my memory as a day of family, of egg hunts, of brightly colored dresses and hats, lacy socks and shiny shoes for going to church. Boys in dapper suits with hair combed neatly, moms in dresses and sleek purses that matched. Then an Easter feast, of ham and potato salad, a great group of family gathered in my grandmother's small dining room. It was festive, close, and loving. Easter is the day my grandfather passed and while our relationship was rocky to say the least, it was I who was asked to make the calls to family and notify everyone. Yes, Easter for me is a day filled with memories but also of hope, of love, of gratitude for Christ's willing sacrifice. It is an unimaginable act of will to me, that he chose that death on our behalf. I am grateful, blessed, awed and humbled. So, Happy Easter, and I hope that your day is filled with love and memories, too.

2012-03-13T10:40:00.001-04:00

Biblical Tolerance

It struck me this morning that there is a lot about being tolerant in the Bible, and that it is closely related to the great commandment to love one another. For how can we possibly love someone, even our enemies, if we are intolerant of them?

I don't mean that we need to accept their belief system, or allow people to murder and steal, but I do believe that tolerance means we love the sinner and hate the sin.

"Blessed is he whose transgressions are forgiven, whose sins are covered. Blessed is the man whose sin the Lord does not count against him and in whose spirit is no deceit." - Psalm 32:1-2

I am appalled by much of the rhetoric being thrown around during this campaign season and I expect it to only get worse. What's sad is that most of the people behaving this way are probably pretty good people. They firmly believe in the Lord, and they love our country and want it to prosper. There is not one person in politics, in my opinion - from either side - who got into it to hurt people. Like police officers, nurses, firefighters and others, they entered their careers with a heart filled for helping others. Like ministers, they chose a ministry of love.

Somewhere along the way, some of that gets lost and along with it goes tolerance. We forsake showing love for others in favor of pressing our own viewpoint, our own sense of righteousness. But God has his own timing and is ever and always a forgiving God, even of great sin amongst his people. For example, even as Jeremiah is warning Israel and Judah of God's coming wrath, the Lord still expresses love and promises redemption for the sinning people.

"Return, faithless people," declares the Lord, "for I am your husband. I will choose you -- one from a town and two from a clan -- and bring you to Zion. Then I will give you shepherds after my own heart, who will lead you with knowledge and understanding." Jeremiah 3:14-15

"Be merciful to those who doubt; snatch others from the fire and save them; to others show mercy, mixed with fear -- hating even the clothing stained by corrupted flesh." - Jude1:22-23

There are so many people we meet along the way who aren't the same as we are. If we truly love our enemies as Christ has instructed us, then we must find a way to be more tolerant of those with whom we disagree. If we can purge the ugly, evil intolerance that has crept in and is taking over our country's political conversation, then I believe we will be a better country, a more Christian country.

I leave you with these thoughts today:

"Do to others as you would have them do to you." - Luke 6:31

"For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you." - Luke 6:38

"I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners." - Mark 2:17

"For out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks." - Matthew12:34

"But I tell you that men will have to give account on the day of judgment for every careless word they have poken. For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned." - Matthew 12:36-37

Peace.

Truly Thankful

2011-11-24T08:25:00.001-05:00

This Thanksgiving Day I want to acknowledge all the many blessings I have in my life. Many times in the past, I have given brief thought to it, then moved on to the feast. Today is different, because my world is different. Today I want to think deeply and with an attitude of complete gratitude to God for all he has given me.

I am thankful for family and friends who have stood by me in some very difficult times. I have had so much encouragement and support as I start my new business and career. I didn't choose the timing, God did, but I feel so fortunate to have the moral support of so many people.

I am thankful for the ability to keep learning even as I hit my mid-50s. I am grateful that I enjoy learning new things because now I have to!

I am grateful for God's many blessings of a loving family. I delight in my grandchildren and my children. I marvel at their wisdom, humor, playfulness and maturity.

I am grateful for the gift of humility, because I have certainly had plenty of it lately. I am reminded that God brings me to the places I need to be and sometimes those roads aren't very smooth.

I am grateful that God sent his son Jesus to us and that he chose to die for us. I cannot imagine making that choice willingly, knowingly except to save my own children. When I try to appreciate that, I am awestruck by the vast love God has for us and my connection to him as a child of God - a family member of Jesus.

I am thankful for a roof over my head, food on the table, love of family and friends, beautiful sunrises and dramatic sunsets. I am thankful that I have been given the chances I've had to do so many amazing things.

So today, on Thanksgiving, I hope you, too, will pause and truly count your blessings. Then, enjoy a wonderful Thanksgiving dinner.

God is leading me to a new path

2011-11-01T19:37:00.001-04:00

I love what I do professionally. I have spent the last 25+ years doing corporate marketing and I've learned a lot. I enjoy the challenge of finding ways to communicate the value of my company to its customers. I almost always worked in the non-profit world because I felt the values of those companies better matched my own. But I confess that in the past year or so I was beginning to wonder if I was truly using my skills to advance God's will in the world. Always before, I felt a connection between my work and my purpose. Then, I was suddenly out of a job.

I assessed my skills, my age, my desires and prayed. I decided to try opening my own consulting business which is a long-held desire of mine. I asked God for support and to bless my work. I have been so blessed with success within a few short weeks. I am not making the same amount I did before in the corporate world, but I am finding clients who value my knowledge and experience, as well as my skills. Plus, I am happier and living with far less stress.

Today, I pitched a company that gives God the credit for the success it has had. And then I knew - this was God's plan. I don't know for sure that this company will hire me, but it looks good. And if I work for them, I will have the comfort of knowing my work will be helping a company that believes in doing God's work.

Not every client will be so closely matched, I guess, but I felt an inner certainty today that I was on the right path. I'm hoping that my prayers will continue to bring me into contact with companies like that, and work that I can believe in.

Where's My Red Sea?

2011-10-02T08:38:00.000-04:00

This morning, my scripture reading was the story of the Israelites leaving Egypt and all of the plagues visited upon the Egyptians by God through Moses. I read the story in awe, as usual, trying to picture each unfolding plague. It's hard to do when you are a modern woman who hasn't ever even seen a locust, let alone millions of them. I've never been in a desert, or seen a hissop branch or slaughtered a lamb. So it can be tough to picture in my mind's eye.

So I get to the part about the Israelites finding the stream of bitter water and their complaining. In my self righteousness I'm thinking, geez, these are some unbelievable people! The Lord just did all these amazing things for them including parting the Red Sea! Why can't they just figure out that He is going to make sure they get to their destination? How dumb can they be, right?

Ah, that's when the Lord laughs at me. I might not have a Red Sea in a literal sense, but I've certainly survived my share of debacles and tragedies because the Lord was there to care for me and lead me to safety. I've got Red Seas all through my life and yet, and yet, I continue to doubt the Lord's ability to steer me safely through the next speed bump.

Because let's face it, I have had difficulties in my life and I've even lost loved ones. But I've never had an army chasing me through the desert. I've never had to flee with the clothes on my back. I'm blessed beyond my ability to imagine. But I still try to take control of situations that start to go south without stopping to realize that the Lord is already in control.

My Red Seas dot the landscape of my life and I'm certain there will be plenty more before I leave my earthly body. I just have to try to remember that the Lord, our Savior, our Redeemer, the Creator and the Almighty, God of Hosts and Maker of the Universe is already on the case.

2011-09-27T06:35:00.000-04:00

Two nights ago, my oldest son headed back to college. We all said our good-byes out in the driveway - first me, then my husband, then my youngest son. I stood by the back door watching them hug and say private words to one another. They clung together for a moment and I was so moved by their love for each other that I whispered "thank you God" over and over. I am truly blessed with a loving family and I couldn't have asked for a better gift.

This morning, my scripture reading was in Exodus and as I read about Moses and Aaron, I connected their story with my boys. Two brothers, alike and different in many ways. Clinging to one another, Moses and Aaron used their own unique strengths to deliver God's messages to Pharaoh. Moses was worried about his ability to speak, so Aaron stepped up for the assist. Both Moses and Aaron wield the staff to create the plagues that visited Egypt. They did it together, standing by one another.

Of course the lesson of Moses and Aaron breaks down when they get into the desert and Moses goes up on the mountain to receive the 10 commandments. But maybe the story there is that they were separate - that without Moses, Aaron was subject to the temptation that caused so much pain and angered God.

Brothers have an intricate relationship and the one between Moses and Aaron was certainly unique. What I pray for my sons is that they also find that unique place where they balance and support one another - and that they are always there to shore up the other's weakest moments.

Rearview Rainbow

2011-09-25T10:24:00.000-04:00

Rearview Rainbow
by Kim Deppe

Rainbows in the rearview
I turn back and look
vying with the snarling traffic
rush hour, rain, and routine
the colors glow
first one bright rainbow,
then two.
a double-headed wish for my better evening
God's reminder
of double blessings
despite the hoary traffic.

Cars stop and go
brake lights
compete with the
multi-colored promise
in my rearview.

Going home. Going home.
Uplifting seconds
lost
in Friday rush hour.

Coming Home

2011-09-04T09:34:00.000-04:00

Later today, my oldest son will come back home from college for a little while. He'll just be here overnight and then head back tomorrow. As a college junior, he is busy with homework, college activities, sports, and studying.

It made me reflect on the restorative power of going home, and how it feels even now when I step out of the car and into my old neighborhood. Sitting in the living room of family, talking about old times or catching up on friends is an almost magical potion for releasing the worries of life.

This summer, I had the chance to do that while my younger son and I went on the road to visit colleges. We mapped a route that took a short detour to my South Jersey home town, then wound its way to northeastern Ohio where some of my Dad's family lives. It was a joyful time for me and my son. He met people he had only heard about, saw places and ate things that I've described for years.

I was a new woman by the time I got home, refreshed by the outpouring of love and affection from family. I was renewed, restored.

Imagine how much more powerful it will be when we go home to God. We'll get to visit with Jesus, talk about friends and family, and feel the most enormous outpouring of love - beyond anything we can imagine, I'm sure. We will get to renew our bonds of love with family that have gone home before us, and we will bask in the no-worries, you're home feeling of heaven that God's grace has given us. When we go home to God, it will be forever and the busy-ness of our earthly lives will drop away for all time.

Tell me, what do you do to restore yourself? How do you find refreshment here on earth? And what do you look forward to the most when you go Home?

Water for God

2011-09-03T09:37:00.003-04:00

Loyola Press has a beautiful daily 3-minute meditation that I've enjoyed for years. Today's reflection was especially meaningful to me as it described our day as a pitcher of water. It asked how much of that water do we set aside for God every day? I realized there are days when I get so busy, I have not given God any of my water. And yet, he is the "water of life" and I cannot exist without that nourishment. If I remember that the water of my body is joined to the spirit of God, and that I cannot live, eat, breathe, or do anything without it, well I would be a better person that's for sure. The Lord poured himself out for all of us. Let's remember to pour our water in God's bucket first.

Check out the meditation and let me know if you like it. Blessings!

Letting go

2011-04-09T11:01:00.000-04:00

The other day I was talking with another woman who is very like me - a busy executive with kids in college or about to be, trying to meet the needs of parents, spouse, children, work, etc., and somewhere in there trying to take care of ourselves. We talked about how hard it has been for us to learn how to let go. But now, well into our 50s, we are finally accomplishing just that. We have learned that we cannot control the behavior of our spouse or our children, no matter how tightly we grip. Children grow up the way God intends them and it is our job to nurture them and support them along the way. Spouses are individuals with quirks, faults and wonderful qualities and if we would just stop trying to change them, we'd be a heck of a lot happier. We cannot possibly finish all of our work by the end of the work day - that ship sailed a long time ago! We can't keep our parents from getting sick or aging, and we can't keep bad things from happening to people we love. But, we can pray. The trite phrase "let go and let God" seems simplistic, but it is anything but simple to achieve that. Every day I have to pray that God helps me back off, listen, and let Him lead me. My God is a mighty God, and there is nothing He cannot do. I don't know why it takes a half a century to figure out that you can't control everything, but it seems to for a lot of women I know. As we reach mid-life, we are certainly learning the truth: God's got it.....let go.

Walking with God

2010-11-21T08:16:00.000-05:00

"A man's steps are directed by the Lord. How then can anyone understand his own way?" Proverbs 20:24
"And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God." Micah 6:8
Sometimes the path I am on has a lot of pot holes, rocks and thorny weeds. It twists and turns and I can't see very far ahead. It is dark and frightening and there are scary sounds around me. I walk along whispering prayers, my heart reaching out for God and aching for peace.
Sometimes the path is a wide and sandy beach and I can see miles ahead. The roar of the ocean is a calming background melody and I delight in watching the shorebirds dart into the surf and then away to safety before the next wave breaks. Tiny sand crabs scuttle along ahead of me, but I can see a long way into the misty distance. Those are the times I sing to the Lord in thanksgiving for the beauty he has brought into my life.
Sometimes I am standing on a ledge with no path at all in my line of sight. Those are the moments when I must close my eyes and take that storied "leap of faith." God knows where he needs me, even if I can't understand why or where I should go. If I can just remember what the Lord requires of me - to act justly, to love mercy and to walk humbly with my God - then I will get to the place he is leading me. No matter how difficult the journey, God has the proper end in mind to serve his purpose. And that, of course, is why I am here.

Finding God Where We Need Him

2010-11-19T07:00:00.000-05:00

I had an interesting discussion yesterday with two business acquaintances who were discussing what should be important about a church service. I came in to the discussion late and one man was expressing the need to feel good about the service at a church, but that he was put off by big rock bands and light shows, and doom and gloom preaching. The other man, who is much further along in his spiritual journey, felt like it shouldn't matter what the service is like or how you feel - what's important is your relationship with Jesus. What, they wanted to know, was my opinion?

Actually, I agree with both of them. And as I thought about it, I realized that much like the song says, it is all about Jesus when we get inside the church. Often we DO make it about ourselves when we want an uplifting sermon, the music we like, communion on our preferred schedule, etc. I also said that I thought each of us has to approach Jesus in our own way - that what is comforting and relevant for me is probably different from you. And, I think that the Lord knows where we are in our own spiritual journey and reaches us in the place where we are.

However you reach for Jesus, hear him speaking to your heart, and respond to his message is a very personal thing. I respond through the written word, but others need the music, the sermon, the meditation or the fellowship to find their communion with the Lord. I believe strongly that God finds us where we need him, and that he speaks to each of us in a language we can understand. He made each of us unique on purpose, so why on earth would he expect all of us to have the exact same worship style?

What style of worship do you prefer?

Repentance in two parts

2010-10-12T06:51:00.000-04:00

"Do I take any pleasure in the death of the wicked? declares the Sovereign Lord. Rather, am I not pleased when they turn from their ways and live?" Ezekiel 18:23
"Because he considers all the offenses he has committed and turns away from them, he will surely live; he will not die." Ezekiel 18:28
These verses spoke to me this morning, and particularly the last one. I circled the word "considers" in my Bible because I felt that it was a key part of the scripture. God asks us to think about our actions, as well as turn away from them. Turning over a new leaf is great, but unless you understand why and consider why the old ways were sinful, I think you are probably not safely established in your new habits.
It seems like losing weight to me. I can go on a diet, change my ways for a little while, and eat healthy foods. But if I don't realize what my old habits were doing to me, then I won't understand why they led to me gaining weight. If I don't understand why some foods are fattening and others healthful, then I probably will slip right back into my old eating patterns.
But even if I do understand all that (and I do!), if I don't completely turn away from the old ways, then I will eventually backslide (I do that, too!). That's the repentance part. God teaches us that there are two parts to repentance: being truly remorseful for what you have done, and then making a permanent change in behavior. And, I cannot be truly remorseful if I have not fully considered what I have done. Prayer and meditation can bring me to a place of deep consideration, a thoughtful time where I can visit and review my thoughts and actions. Journaling and blogging do, as well.
God doesn't want us to be lost, he doesn't get any pleasure out of our death to sin. He wants us with him and he wants us to turn from our wicked ways. He just wants us to fully understand what we're doing, and why, when we do it.

The Good Towels

2010-10-03T10:12:00.000-04:00

This was written in August of 2005. Since then, it has been published in a couple of fine publications. My mother passed away on September 20, 2006. But I continue to live the lesson of The Good Towels. I hope you enjoy it and learn something, too.

A few days after my mother was diagnosed with lung and brain cancer, I found myself inside the hallway linen closet just outside her bedroom door. Although both she and my father had invited me to sleep in her bed while I was there and my mom was hospitalized, I couldn’t bring myself to sleep in her bed. My father, who is paralyzed, has his own room across the house from hers and they have slept apart for these last 15 years or so. I chose the “guest” bed instead, which really, until quite recently, had been where my 90-year-old grandmother had called home. But now Nana was in a nursing home recovering from a broken shoulder and, while she wasn’t yet aware of it, it was going to be her new home. Even before my mother’s crisis she had realized she could no longer care for her mother, who was suffering from both Parkinson’s disease and Alzheimer’s. After 7 years, the road had become too rough even for my mother.

Ironic then, in a horrible sort of way, that within three weeks of my grandmother going to the nursing home that my mother should be diagnosed with cancer. Stage IV. Inoperable. Radiation and chemo ahead and no guarantees. No one talking about time frames and I’m not sure why not, but it’s left unsaid.

So I am staring at the neatly stacked purple towels. My mother has been very precise with them. They are all folded exactly alike, facing the same way, stacked by size and color. And there, to the left and tucked to the side away from the everyday purple towels are the “special” towels. Among them are the towels I bought for her at Christmas, a beautiful soft fluffy white towel embroidered with deep purple irises. Purple is her favorite color. I fell in love with the towels over the internet and knew that she must have them.

Maybe if I had bought her three sets, or ten, she would have used them as everyday towels. But she had just the one set and there they were, set aside, for who-knows-what. I stood and stared and thought: “we should use the good towels.”

I vaguely remember reading an article by Erma Bombeck as she came to the end of her life. She wrote about using the good china, about burning candles and eating dinner at the dining room table and doing all the stuff we usually reserve for company, but doing it with those who are closest to us.

We should use the good towels. We should dry off with the fringed beauties that hang nearly dusty on our not-to-be-touched guest towel racks. When they get dirty we should wash them, and use them again and again until we tire of them, and then we should buy new “guest towels” and use them some more.

We should not wait until we have cancer or some other life-limiting disease before we eat at the dining room table, use the good china or haul out the silver. Who better than our own spouses and children to spoil with those things?

A couple of years ago I remember setting a beautiful table in the dining room for a Sunday dinner with my husband and our children. Together we have five children and they make a marvelous mixed family that is a blessing to us both. As I lit candles, poured wine and water into crystal glasses, and put out the linen napkins, my middle stepdaughter clapped with delight. “I love it when you have a centerpiece and candles,” she said. “It makes me feel so special.” I resolved right then to try to make all my children feel just that special as often as I can.

The love we have for our own family is way beyond what we feel for friends and neighbors. And yet, we often reserve the good towels and the china and the silver for the people we hardly know. Our best manners are generally reserved for strangers while we often forget to say “I’m sorry” or “Excuse me” in our own homes.

Civility shouldn’t be reserved for those we know least, and the good towels should be shared with the ones we love best. And standing there in the doorway of my mother’s linen closet, I knew that the way I live my life would change forever. So I pulled out the lovely fluffy white towels and draped them across the towel bar in her tiled bathroom. I admired them and worried about spoiling them…even though I had already decided that was foolish.

I wanted my mother to come home to beauty and caring and the lovely home she had created for so many years. And I wanted her to use the good towels.

P.S. Those towels are still in my mother's closet and I try to take them out and hang them when I visit with my Dad!

Will Write For Jesus: The Charity of Christ

2010-10-03T08:08:00.001-04:00

Will Write For Jesus: The Charity of Christ

The Charity of Christ

2010-10-03T08:08:00.000-04:00

For many years, I worked for the Daughters of Charity at a hospital. There, I became familiar with their creed: "The charity of Christ crucified urges us." That motto, if you will, has come to me often in the past few weeks. Christ does indeed urge me, I feel the insistent tug on my heart to follow him where he is leading me. I don't know where that is, and that causes some anxiety. The Lord has promised me a big change in my life and I have had plenty of those in the last few months! Christ Jesus has a heart for charity. Not in the way we think of it, though - he didn't hand out money to "charitable" organizations. Jesus didn't serve others via check writing. He got down and dirty - quite literally - washing the feet of others, eating with sinners, loving the unlovely. The ultimate charitable act, Christ crucified, is beyond my ability to understand. This morning I was in prayer and feeling bad about some of the things that had happened to me. But then I remembered that in no way, at no time, will I ever suffer as Christ did. No one has flogged me, beat me, stabbed me or crucified me. My Lord and Savior went through all of this willingly, as an act of charity, to save me. And you. And everyone who believes.