Wind In My Sails

The Abandoned Blog

noreply@blogger.com (Roisin Hotaling) — Tue, 07 Jun 2011 04:55:00 +0000

I have a talent for starting blogs and posting enthusiastically for a few weeks...then it dwindles to a post every few months...and finally the shifting sands of the Internet bury my long neglected musings. I was reminded of this blog when I noticed that my Second Life profile expected a URL for a website in order to consider itself complete.

So, herewith, a quick update: I'm still in SL, and Tech and I still have our island. The Homestead price seems to be grandfathered in at $95, for now. Magi is no more, and the coffee house has moved a couple of times. My gallery is now at Hennepin; I'm planning on a rebuild that will incorporate the coffee house.

My typist finally got a full-time job in July of last year, having honed some new skills by doing freelance work. Of course, having a job means there's less time for blogging and building. I think I need an alt or two in RL!

Too Good To Be True

noreply@blogger.com (Roisin Hotaling) — Fri, 14 Nov 2008 18:46:00 +0000

Amazing how things can change in only two months, isn't it?

Some changes have been welcome: As Tech and I have built our island, we've grown closer. We love our home and enjoy doing things there together. Island Girl has gone on indefinite walkabout, which has been a bit of a paradigm shift; it also saves our typist money, since IG isn't logging in and shopping for new clothes anymore.

Our typist has completed her fall travels and can now settle in and look for a RL job. While it's a lousy time to be looking for work due to both the season and the condition of the economy, we're optimistic that something will work out.

After all my excitement over the new island, though, it pains me to write about Linden Lab's recent decisions regarding Open Space sims. In case you haven't been following the hoopla, LL made an announcement at the end of October that Open Space sims are not being used as they had intended, and that a 67% increase in tier payments will take effect in January. As I'm sure LL expected, there was a huge hue and cry in response to this, and they have since "revised" the plan by splitting the Open Space sim category into two levels: The current allotment of space and prims will be called a "Homestead" sim, and will increase in tier price in two stages, rising from $75/month to $95/month in January, and then to $125/month in July (still a 67% increase). The lower level will still be called Open Space and will remain at $75/month, but will be restricted to 750 prims.

All over the blogosphere, you can find articles, comments, and forum threads detailing what a scandalous bait and switch this is. Until this spring, Open Space sims had to be bought in groups of 4, had to abut the buyer's full sims, and were only allowed 1875 prims. In April, LL announced that OS sims could be placed anywhere on the grid, could be purchased singly (although owning a full sim was still a requirement), and prims were doubled to 3750. Of course, that paved the way for a huge expansion of Open Space sims.

Now Linden Lab claims that the users of those sims are using them for unintended purposes, not just as open water and parkland, but as homes and clubs and stores, causing performance problems. Gee, that's funny; you'd think LL might have been able to anticipate that before they increased the prim limits (and never did place any limits on scripts and avatars very different from those of a full sim). Their solution is to raise prices significantly rather than to look for a technological solution to a technological problem.

Of course, by making their first announcement, and then responding to the bad PR by "revising" the plan, they make themselves look responsive to the customer base. No matter that they're ultimately still raising the tier 67%.

But all that leaves me (and Tech) in an awkward position. We had carefully evaluated costs and benefits before we set up our island, and made our decision based on those analyses. We might be able to afford to keep the island (depending on Tech's comfort level with the price increase, and on my typist getting a job). But there's something that sticks in my craw when I think of rolling over and paying the increased price; it seems like rewarding bad customer service.

I don't anticipate leaving SL; but cutting way back on how much money I'm willing to give them is certainly an option. Just because they're a virtual monopoly doesn't mean I need to support them at any more than the lowest level necessary to meet my SL goals. This isn't a final decision by any means; I have about a month to discuss it with Tech before we have to make a decision.

Our Own Island

noreply@blogger.com (Roisin Hotaling) — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 00:28:00 +0000

A few months ago, Tech and Island Girl had their privacy invaded. They had just arrived at her house after an evening out, and a very strange character sit-teleported himself into the house, jumped into IG’s bed, and ignored all chat and IM messages. After they got him to leave, he hovered on the adjacent parcel, camming into the house (they had Show Look At turned on and could see his crosshairs).

Not long after that, Tech revealed to me that he thought we should buy our own sim, probably with a couple of other people to help cover the tier. While there’s no such thing as *true* privacy in SL, being on an island in the middle of the ocean is more private than being on the mainland, if only because folks are less likely to wander over from adjacent sims. I loved the idea, but we didn’t immediately have other partners who could jump on board, so owning our own sim went on the back burner.

A couple of months later, a friend of mine showed me the open space sim he had just moved to, telling me that he and his RL wife were leasing half of it. One day in late July, I was looking at more property on the mainland, hoping for something with a better sunset view. Tech logged in and we started talking about the property I was looking at and about the open space sim idea. We realized we could afford an open space sim by ourselves. Of course, it isn’t *true* ownership because we can’t own an open space sim without also owning a full sim, but if we found a reputable estate owner from whom to lease, we thought we’d feel relatively secure that our sim wouldn’t be pulled out from under us.

While we were chatting in IM, each in a different location on the grid, we were each looking at the classified ads for open space sims. I decided to teleport to one that looked appealing….. and landed right in front of Tech! He had, unbeknownst to me, chosen the same ad to check out. We experience that kind of synchronicity a lot—“jinx” is a regular part of our lexicon—and we both doubled over laughing.

Once we’d recovered, we tossed the idea around a bit more, and it occurred to me that we already knew someone who owned a full sim who might be willing to add an open space sim to his holdings as long as we paid for it. I approached him, he was amenable to the idea, and we worked up a good faith agreement. Before our island could be ordered, our friend’s father passed away and he was a bit less available for a week or so. That gave us time to talk about what we would name our sim and to work on terrain files.

Finally, one balmy Tuesday evening, we ordered our new island. By the next day it had splashed down on the grid. We got the terrain file applied, and I immediately set up a cabana and hammocks to serve as a temporary hangout while we fine-tuned the landscape and began moving our homes to the new site.

We haven’t been there long, but it’s home now… Tech, IG, and I each have our own homes, with an extinct volcano in the middle of the larger island and an area for guests and dancing on the smaller island. While my mainland property is a nice parcel, KN is a true tropical paradise.

As the Gallery Turns, part 3

noreply@blogger.com (Roisin Hotaling) — Tue, 26 Aug 2008 15:36:00 +0000

As usual, I’ve been sidetracked from blogging. It’s been a busy summer; I’ll try to provide a concise version of all that’s been going on. With any luck it won’t take more than a couple of posts.

When I left off, Dillon had given me a parcel on his new sim, Magi, to build a coffee house and gallery. Of course, a coffee house needs comfy chairs and a decent coffeepot, so I set about furnishing it. I had already dabbled in furniture construction a bit, so my goal was to refine those early designs and texture them nicely. I have ended up with a nice little line of chairs, sofas, tables, and a few other things, in an assortment of fabrics.

While I was busy building furniture, Dillon was conferring with his friend Lann. Dillon had invited Lann to have a furniture store in Janustown, but she hadn’t had time to build or buy a structure and set up her store. Of course, Dillon wanted to get the town looking a little more finished; so he commissioned me to build a store for Lann.

Not long after Lann’s store was finished, I was invited to join the building team for Netroots Nation in SL. Netroots Nation is an annual RL conference for progressive bloggers; I’d become involved with NN through my friend Tech, who had introduced me to Dancing Liberally and Café Wellstone several months ago. NNSL provides an in-world platform where folks who can’t go to the RL conference can connect through audio and video streaming of conference events, booths representing affiliated organizations, and community with like-minded people. Initially, I helped with the general layout and the ballroom; then I was asked to build a booth for one organization. I also provided another branch of Ro-sheen’s Coffee House where folks could meet and discuss in smaller groups.

I am by no means a master builder, but with each project I learn more and get a little better. I have always set the finished furniture pieces for sale, even the earlier gallery benches. Since I’ve sold several pieces directly out of the gallery and the coffee house, I’ve been thinking of opening a store of my own somewhere. I recently relocated my home to an open space sim, shared with Tech (more about that next time). I’m not quite ready to sell off my mainland beachfront parcel, so I’m thinking about setting up shop there.

To complicate matters, over the weekend my business partner in the gallery decided to leave SL. That means I need to include the gallery in my plans, since she owns the land where our main gallery is built. My inclination is to make it a furnishings and home décor shop, including the furniture and the photographs in a single retail store. Whatever develops, the store needs a name. I have a couple of thoughts, but I’d love to hear more ideas.

I'm still here...sorta

noreply@blogger.com (Roisin Hotaling) — Fri, 22 Aug 2008 22:23:00 +0000

My, how time flies...There is a third and final installment of the building saga coming up, and then more about recent events. But for now, I saw this quiz and thought I'd have a little fun with it.

Your result for The 3-Variable Purity Test...

PURITY: 45% sex, 60% substance, 50% moral [50% total]

http://www.helloquizzy.com/tests/the-3-variable-purity-test

The problem with this quiz is that it counts everything you've ever done even if you would never do it again; that isn't so much an issue with the sex and substance portions, IMHO, but on the morals portion it seems more than a little incomplete to not account for an individual's development of a higher moral standard. Just my two centavos.

As the Gallery Turns, Part 2

noreply@blogger.com (Roisin Hotaling) — Tue, 17 Jun 2008 18:08:00 +0000

Last month I posted the nutshell version of how I became a gallery co-owner and builder in SL. When I left off, my pal Dillon had given me a 512 square meter plot on his new sim to build a coffee house and gallery. But Dillon has a talent for growing a seed of an idea into something much bigger. Hand in hand with that is a propensity to change his mind midstream, which usually results in an improvement even though it means extra labor.

One of the first things I noticed about Dillon’s town was that he had laid out curbs but no sidewalks, so I kept tripping—or sounding like I was tripping, anyway—over the curbs. I suggested we needed sidewalks and built one in front of my coffee house. Dillon liked it and asked me to continue around that block. At some point we noticed that the city blocks Dillon had laid out weren’t all the same size. He had intended for them to be the same, and before I could take another sip of coffee, he had decided to re-do most of the island. I grabbed my existing coffee house and sent it 100 meters in the air, and Dillon proceeded to remove the rest of his build.

The next time I saw Dillon, he invited me to the island to see the new layout. He had purchased a crossroads, complete with paved road, sidewalks, and little patios on each corner. The idea was to have my coffee house and gallery on one corner. I started building.

Now, I don’t draw, and I’ve never studied architecture. I do sometimes examine buildings in SL to see how they were constructed: how a cove trim was made, the number of pieces it takes to make a nice awning, what sort of roofline looks good. So I’m likely to just start rezzing prims, cutting paths, and putting them together to see how it looks. I’m likely to change my mind about the size or proportion halfway through and start sliding walls out of the way and resizing the build. That means I need a BIG sandbox!

Here’s the coffee house and gallery, in progress and finished:

There's a patio between the two buildings, which serves to tie them together. I may tweak the gallery building a bit, when inspiration comes.

Next time, building furniture and being asked to construct a furniture store for another Janustown resident.

As the Gallery Turns, Part 1

noreply@blogger.com (Roisin Hotaling) — Sun, 18 May 2008 00:52:00 +0000

I alluded last month to some of the things I do in Second Life™: building furniture, managing a gallery, chatting with friends, and so on. So far in this space I’ve really only addressed the friends and relationships aspect of SL. As Garrett gently reminded me a few days ago, not only have I not blogged recently, but I haven’t discussed the development of several art galleries with which I'm involved.

Before I entered SL, I’d heard random stories of some people making money there. I didn’t have any such aspirations initially—and really, I still don’t. At the time, my typist was actively making silver jewelry to sell in galleries and at art festivals, and I had a fleeting thought that maybe I could learn to translate those designs into virtual form and sell them in SL. The difficulty of working with tiny prims and my own immersion into a very social SL quickly dashed that idea.

While I’m still social and love my SL friends dearly, I’ve learned a bit about building in SL and I can easily lose myself in a sea of plywood overlaid with red, blue, and green arrows. I co-own an art gallery, have sold my RL photography in SL, and am building a coffee house and gallery (including some of my own furniture) on a new island.

(I was going to have a cut here and a “Read More” link, but I can’t get the template code to work. Maybe next time)

Last summer, my friends Siv and Slade held a photography exhibit at their place in Addu. It occurred to me that I had taken some images that might translate well as art in SL, so I created beveled black frames with white mats in Photoshop, added a few photos, and uploaded them. Slade and Siv liked them and offered to host an exhibit for me in November. We set up freestanding walls on the lawn and I rezzed 23 photos.

The response was a huge boost to my ego: I sold over 40 photos, most of them on the night of the opening event. I decided to look for permanent gallery space. Meanwhile, Siv and Slade also had residential rentals and were having some difficulty keeping them occupied. They suggested we build a gallery together, and I jumped at the chance. Slade and I work well as a team; she designed the building and built most of the structure; I applied the textures, made interior walls and furniture, and created signs and teleporters.

The completed Riverbend Gallery opened in December, housing my work and Slade’s permanently, and guest artists on a rotating basis. Since then we’ve added satellite galleries in Etopia Prime and at Camazotz; and a friend offered me a small studio to display a selection of work in New Key West. Then Dillon came along.

Dillon’s enthusiasm for SL knows no bounds. He recently bought an island sim, and has added a second void sim for surfing and sailing. I’ve been pals with Dillon for a while, but I was nonetheless surprised when he invited me over to give me an amazing gift: a coffee house to run, named for me, where I would display my photos. Initially it was just a cute little prefab building, about 10 x 10 meters. But Dillon is a big idea guy, and within a day he had expanded the gift to include my own 512 square meter parcel on which I would have a separate gallery. I wanted to build a custom building to house both the coffee house and the gallery, with a doorway between the two, so I started planning that.

Then Dillon got a bigger idea. Stay tuned for the next installment.

Withdrawal

noreply@blogger.com (Roisin Hotaling) — Sat, 05 Apr 2008 18:06:00 +0000

I've been away from the blogosphere for a couple of weeks. Although my typist brought her laptop along on a two-week vacation, being online has been limited to occasional forays into SL to stay in touch with friends or let my alt have a date. Really, it was a vacation, after all; the typist should be out snorkeling, not sitting in a hotel chair with her arms at an unnatural ergonomic angle trying to navigate the internet on a glare-riddled small screen.

So what do I find when I return? An even slower SL, rife with transaction problems and rezzing issues. Frustrating, since I have furniture to finish building, friends to chat with, a gallery to co-manage, and RFL events to put together. As of this writing, SL has been almost completely shut down for over 14 hours, with no sign of a pending fix. I have plenty of offline things to do, so in some ways not having access to SL for a while is a good thing; but one of my avis has plans in SL for later today, so it makes me a little nervous to have SL so seriously messed up.

I saw a blog or comment somewhere wondering where else an SL resident might go for a similar experience, should SL no longer be available. Since SL is my first foray into MMO worlds of any kind, I'm not familiar with the architecture of the Sims, There, or any others. My understanding is that other virtual worlds are not nearly as developed as SL, and I'd have to start there with a new avatar in any case. Others are truly RP games, where you're expected to develop a character and work to advance to higher levels.

I'm not in SL to play a typical game, but to express creativity and to connect with friends. The latter can be done through MSN and other IM clients, of course, although the text-only nature of those has its limitations after experiencing the sensation of 3-D contact possible in SL. I'm also more unlikely to make new friends on text-based IM clients than in SL, although it's a perfectly good way to stay in touch with my existing closest SL friends. As for creativity, there are other ways to express that too.

If SL disappeared, maybe for a month, maybe forever, what would be missing from your life? Where else would you go to find those outlets?

Ack! A Meme!

noreply@blogger.com (Roisin Hotaling) — Mon, 18 Feb 2008 17:34:00 +0000

I usually don't do memes, but this one's pretty quick and will help push that shallow entry about my avatar's evolution in appearance down the page.

1. Do you remember the first person who helped you in SL, and are you still in contact with that person?

I can think of two people who helped me early on. One was a child named Haley who dropped decent freebie hair, skin, and and outfit on me and told me about flexi skirts. I'm not in touch with her. The other would be my friend Alter, who helped me understand the technical ins and outs of SL and made sure I had an AO so I didn't walk like a duck. We still chat and visit, although not very often.

2. Do you stick around in SL for business, or for the people?

The people, primarily. I enjoy having a business, but the connection with friends is what makes being in SL worthwhile.

3. Who is the most positive influence in your SL?

That would have to be the guy I call Tech. We can talk for hours, often having the same thought at the same time. He has a rational and loving approach to SL; I know I can turn to him when other people turn up the dial on the drama machine. He understands alts, roleplay, and the boundaries between SL and RL. And if I need technical help with SL or a script written, he's the answer man.

4. Is there someone who makes you roll your eyes and groan when they IM you or if you run into them somewhere?

Oh, yeah, a couple of them. But I won't describe them in even the most cryptic terms here. Well, OK, one is a guy in his late twenties who wants me to be his Mrs. Robinson.

5. Is there someone in your SL that makes you smile whenever you notice their name on your friends list, even if they're not online?

Yes.

6. Do you let people map you? Do others let you map them?

No, not anymore. I did for a while with Sparky, but we found it best to just talk and TP each other if we wanted to be together.

7. If we found out tomorrow that SL was closing, do you think you'd still remain in contact with your friends?

Some, yes. I have email and MSN contact--and phone numbers in a few cases--for most of the key people in my SLife. With a few others I might send them that information in world so we could keep in touch, hoping they log in before SL disappears. But I don't even want to think about the possibility of SL closing!

OK, I hate it when people tag me for this sort of thing; but I would like to see your answers.

Evolution

noreply@blogger.com (Roisin Hotaling) — Sat, 16 Feb 2008 09:24:00 +0000

A friend recently commented that I have changed my look a lot since he has known me, insisting that I must have changed my skin. I've definitely changed my hair, and I've tweaked my shape a bit, but the skin is pretty much the same. While I don't have pics of my earliest days in SL anymore, I came across a couple of older images and had a look at the evolution of my avatar.

Once I realized it might be nice to have a picture of myself in my profile, I went in search of a scenic location. The SL Botanical Garden fit the bill. This was taken in early July 2007, one month after my rez day. The skin is Charmed, from Celestial Studios; hair is Melissa from Calico Creations, and the eyes were from Soda.

Eventually I managed to make my eyes look a bit more realistic thanks to Miriel's realistic eyes and some appearance slider magic.

The hair here is Amber II from Calico Creations, and it has been a standby in my hair folder for quite a while. The other one I've relied on a lot is Zero Style's Mike.
I still have a long pointy face here, though. It took me a while to realize that the shorter hairstyles I coveted looked funny because I had made my face too long.

Once I figured out a more flattering face shape, I was ecstatic when I stumbled upon this delicious little style from Kin, called Yohkoh.
From the display I was afraid it might be too orange; finding the right shades of reds and auburns in SL has been a bit daunting. Fortunately, I am often able to add a touch of gray to tone down an overly bright hair color. You couldn't pry this one off my head until I found.....

....Poynter, by Armidi. I did have to move a few strands in place over my right eye, but this really feels like my look these days. I showed the demo to a friend before I bought it--never hurts to have a second opinion--and was encouraged by his favorable reaction.
Of course, these last two hairstyles have shown up all over the various fashion blogs, and I usually prefer to not look like I'm following the latest trends. But when something works, you just have to go for it.
I'm glad I found a skin with freckles, too. The strange thing is that Roisin has evolved to look even more like the RL me (minus 20 years) than I ever intended.

Are Your Eyes Really That Blue?

noreply@blogger.com (Roisin Hotaling) — Wed, 13 Feb 2008 20:52:00 +0000

Recent conversations with friends, and the questions Kit posits here, have me doing more thinking about identity in SL and how it relates to RL. It isn’t a new topic in the SL blogosphere, but since my comment on Kit’s blog nearly turned into a post of its own before I applied my editor’s pencil, I thought I’d bring it over here and expand on it a bit.

Usually I’m not too interested in someone’s RL A/S/L except as it informs our activities together in SL. Age is *almost* a non-issue regardless, although having similar frames of cultural reference is nice, and sometimes I’ve run into emotional maturity issues. Gender is likewise almost irrelevant unless my avatar is becoming intimately involved (and I’ll talk about that in another post, since I have more thoughts about SL romance that need their own entry). Location doesn’t have to be specific, but knowing what time zone someone is in lets me know that I can’t reasonably expect my SL buddies to stay up with me if it’s 2 a.m. in their RL world.

As for other RL information, with few exceptions I’d rather identifying details stay under wraps. While I’m intrigued by avatar/person comparison pictures, I don’t need to see them, don’t want them from my friends, and don’t want to share mine any more than I already have. I’ve used voice but would rather not.

I’ll admit that as a friendship grows deeper, I get curious. In a few cases, I’ve met the atomic person behind the avatar, and those friendships are now in RL as well as in SL. I will eventually know the RL identity of one close SL friend because his RL work will become public. I both dread and look forward to that day. I don’t think it will change our SL relationship, since knowing some other SL pals in RL hasn’t changed our SL relationships; but I still find the impending breach of that firewall a little daunting.

More difficult for me is how my alts deal with RL information. As Roisin, I am essentially a prettier, younger, more outgoing version of my RL self. When I say *I* did something, I may well be talking about RL. But my alts, especially when talking with people who know Ro as well, have to be more dissociated from their typist. They are more purely roleplay, and can’t have the same background as Ro without losing their distinct personas. They have to refer to the typist in the third person whenever possible, even though this makes conversation a bit awkward. Unfortunately, the dissociation (and my inability to manufacture more than a rudimentary backstory for them) also makes them less well-rounded as people.

Some of my friends as Roisin have trouble seeing the alts as separate personas, even though the alts exhibit somewhat different personalities and really don’t look like Ro. They feel that they’re talking directly to the typist through Ro in the first place, so they speak right through the alts to the typist as well. Other pals are better at seeing a separate persona come through the alt even though they know the same typist is there. It doesn’t necessarily mean I—or they—need medication and intensive psychotherapy; it’s just another way to express different aspects of my typist’s personality, just as in RL we might have different personas we present at work, as parents, as children, as siblings….and so on.

noreply@blogger.com (Roisin Hotaling) — Sat, 19 Jan 2008 23:50:00 +0000

I don't normally do these things, but once in a while it's good for a giggle. This one's pretty accurate, and didn't even take long to complete--which is a good thing, because I have other goofing off I need to do!

Your Five Factor Personality Profile

Extroversion:

You have low extroversion.
You are quiet and reserved in most social situations.
A low key, laid back lifestyle is important to you.
You tend to bond slowly, over time, with one or two people.

Conscientiousness:

You have medium conscientiousness.
You're generally good at balancing work and play.
When you need to buckle down, you can usually get tasks done.
But you've been known to goof off when you know you can get away with it.

Agreeableness:

You have medium agreeableness.
You're generally a friendly and trusting person.
But you also have a healthy dose of cynicism.
You get along well with others, as long as they play fair.

Neuroticism:

You have medium neuroticism.
You're generally cool and collected, but sometimes you do panic.
Little worries or problems can consume you, draining your energy.
Your life is pretty smooth, but there's a few emotional bumps you'd like to get rid of.

Openness to experience:

Your openness to new experiences is high.
In life, you tend to be an early adopter of all new things and ideas.
You'll try almost anything interesting, and you're constantly pushing your own limits.
A great connoisseir of art and beauty, you can find the positive side of almost anything.

The Five Factor Personality Test

Love Me, Love My Alt?

noreply@blogger.com (Roisin Hotaling) — Sun, 09 Dec 2007 00:43:00 +0000

For those women who liken being in SL to playing with virtual Barbies, it may interest you to know that I play with not one, but two Barbies. Yes, I have an alt (technically I have two, but only one really gets much attention and the other one lies on the closet floor with her polyester hair all tangled). While lots of people in SL have alts, for a variety of reasons, they are sometimes regarded with well-founded suspicion.

Originally, Island Girl was created to work; I had ideas about creating and selling something in SL, and as Roisin I was mainly a social creature. Being able to build things in SL requires concentration and solitude, and I have a nice list of friends who want to include me in such fun as impromptu parties on open hillsides. Island Girl wouldn’t have friends; she would go in world to create undisturbed.

Of course, the aesthete in me couldn’t just leave her in a default avatar, so I made her pretty; mostly I tried to find quality freebies, but I spent a few Lindens on good hair and shoes. I did let a few friends know I was making an alt, but I tried not to reveal her name. I did mention to a friend—I’ll call him Tech—that she is partly Polynesian, though—and his ears perked up. We had talked of working together; he would build and script, and I—or she—would write the instructions. I told him her name, and let him add her as a friend.

Fast forward a couple of months. I no longer see either Sparky or Jet; and in one case, that can be blamed on an alt, a man who created at least two avis in order to catch his RL wife cheating. Hence the aforementioned suspicion—the idea that the newbie you just met may have a typist you’ve talked to through another avi gives many of us the creeps and warrants a good bit of caution. You really never know who you’re talking to.

Given that discomfort, I do have a rule: my alts are not allowed to interact with people who know Ro, except with those who have been informed that they’re talking to my alt. I am, generally, more comfortable in the skin of Roisin. Ro looks somewhat like my typist and has established a life in SL. What RL information I reveal as Ro is my truth; Ro’s personal history is the same as that of her typist.

It turns out that as Ro, I’ve actually been able to do some work, selling my RL photos as framed prints in SL. I decided to explore a little as Island Girl, though, just for fun, on some days when most of my friends weren’t in world. Tech saw Island Girl online and began chatting with her. Slowly, Tech and IG have started to spend more time together. She has begun to accumulate the trappings of a social creature: ball gowns, more hairstyles, jewelry.

As both Ro and Island Girl, I find myself exploring concepts of identity. One of my friends referred to Island Girl as Ro in a Hawaiian Halloween costume. I have to disagree; I feel like a different person when I travel in SL as Island Girl. We speak of each other in the third person; she has even been known to make snarky comments about me. Tech knows he’s talking to the same typist, but he understands the role play and treats each avi as a separate person.

Of course, even Ro, as established a persona as she is, can only be a partial projection of her typist’s personality. Island Girl brings out yet another side of her typist, but she needs a personal history that differs from mine; her ethnicity alone (Hawaiian/Japanese/Mexican/Irish) necessitates a different background. As Ro settles into working on projects and maintaining established friendships in SL, does Island Girl now become the more social personality? And how does she maintain the separation from Ro as she grows into her new self?

It’s an interesting exploration.

Just Following the Crowd For a Moment

noreply@blogger.com (Roisin Hotaling) — Wed, 28 Nov 2007 02:05:00 +0000

Well, that's a relief.

There really is another post brewing...

Soft Day

noreply@blogger.com (Roisin Hotaling) — Wed, 17 Oct 2007 05:35:00 +0000

Fog settles low
enfolding the rawness
of newly formed wounds

The branches of autumn trees,
laid bare
exposed
and braving the season’s new chill
Leaves yellow, crumple,
fall to the ground,
wetly melt into the earth.

A soft day,
until the sun pushes through
a burning glare
stripping away the blankets,
here to heal
to reveal some possible truth
to keep the slashed hillside from staying
mired in the fog

(Inspired by events in SL, and by a RL trip to the coast to process them)

The Big Reveal

noreply@blogger.com (Roisin Hotaling) — Mon, 08 Oct 2007 07:51:00 +0000

You choose a name. It might be similar to your real name, or it might not. You create an avatar. He or she might look a lot like your real self, or might not. You begin to make friends in SL, people whose real names you don’t know. Unless you’re completely immersed in role play, you probably tell them a lot about your real life: your family, your work, where you live. Eventually you might tell them your real first name.

If you are trying to keep your real identity under wraps you may think just providing your first name is safe; but if you’ve provided enough other information, it may not be too difficult for a resourceful person to find you in cyberspace. Adam gave me his real name, email address, and website address quite readily. As a woman, I was more cautious—or so I thought. Adam knew my city, and what I do in RL. After I told him my real first name, I realized that he might have everything he needed to find me in RL. I did a quick search with Google using my first name, what I design, and my city: lo and behold, there I was.

Sparky did something similar. He told me his first name. He had also posted a link to a website in his SL profile. On that website is an email link to contact the webmaster—whose first name is the same one Sparky gave me. He verified that I had found him; we had developed some trust by then, so it wasn’t a problem. But just knowing his name and city allowed me to find quite a few references to his work, and—the most unnerving of all—his home address and phone number.

There are myriad other ways you might provide enough personal data to reveal your RL identity. It didn’t even cross my mind, when I emailed my friend Jet a document written in Word, that the file info for that document had my real name in it—because when you set up those programs on your computer, they ask for that information and add it to every file you create, unless you make sure that setting is turned off. Never mind that Roisin has an email account separate from her typist, set up to protect her identity; the attached document gave me away.

Of course, those are accidental reveals; but you might want to exchange RL information with an SL friend deliberately. At what point do you make that decision? How much in-world chatting is enough to feel safe telling someone your real name? And then do you take the SL-to-RL crossover to phone numbers, MySpace, business websites, exchanging photos of your RL self, webcams, even meeting in RL?

Since I try to keep a membrane between SL and RL, I don’t intentionally give out RL info too readily. Oh, sure, there’s a photo of my RL self in my SL house, but to me that’s fairly harmless. And with Sparky and Jet, I have an understanding that any personal information we have shared or discovered is strictly to satisfy our curiosity; our friendships remain confined to SL and MSN. While we can use MSN to hear each other’s voices or see each other via webcam, we do so sparingly.

That’s not to say that I’ve never become RL friends with someone I met online; I met one of my closest RL friends in an online birding chat room some 14 years ago. And if I found myself in the towns where some of my SL friends live, we might meet at a RL coffee house. But I have no travel plans.

Poetic Interlude

noreply@blogger.com (Roisin Hotaling) — Fri, 21 Sep 2007 06:31:00 +0000

While the next blog is percolating, I thought I'd share something my typist wrote a long time ago:

BASS

Whenever I hear sounds

that make my stomach

vibrate

I think of him…

With his hands skittling

Like water on a hot griddle

Over the strings…

A metaphor

Which would probably

electrocute him

if he knew

I thought it.

On Tiptoes Along the Balance Beam

noreply@blogger.com (Roisin Hotaling) — Wed, 12 Sep 2007 23:16:00 +0000

There are probably as many reasons for ‘living’ in Second Life as there are residents. Some come for creative opportunity, others to try to make a buck. Henrik Bennetsen has boiled down SL residents into four basic Archetypes; most of us seem to fit into some combination of these. Although I have some creative aspirations, I am mainly a Socializer with a smattering of Philosopher (hence the blog). My friends in SL are the most valuable part of being there; all the cute virtual shoes and Juke Joints in the world wouldn’t make up for losing my closest in-world friends if they disappeared.

That said, SL friendships are different from Real Life friendships, right? With a few exceptions, we don’t know what our SL friends really look like, whether they make eye contact, or if they have bad breath or annoying tics. Ideally those things shouldn’t matter; after all, we’ve made what feels like a real connection based primarily on our words and minds. We know the sexy avatars we’ve made are idealized, even if some people have attempted to make their avis look as much like their RL selves as possible. Would we be friends in RL if we met? Would the sexual attractions we feel still exist?

Speaking of romantic attractions, I hadn’t planned on having any. My first six weeks or so in SL I was adamantly platonic, to the point of stating it in my profile in hopes of discouraging a few overly persistent suitors. If you had told me in June that by now I would have had romantic encounters with three different men I’d have thought you were several cards short of a full deck.

I’m not alone on that path, either; several friends who initially did not come to SL in search of love have found themselves in full blown SL relationships, with all the attendant longing, excitement, laughter, arguments, pain, lust, guilt, and jealousy. Even those of us who are happy with our RL partners find ourselves immersed in infatuation with someone in SL who shares our interests or seems to understand us in a way our RL partners don’t.

Of course, if two people who meet in SL are single in RL, there’s no reason, once they’ve established some trust, to keep the relationship strictly in SL. But what if both parties have RL partners? What if only one of them is partnered in RL?

My first such liaison in SL was with a man who is single in RL, and desperately wanted to find someone to share his life. He was dismayed to learn that I am married in RL. Any mention of my RL partner sent “Adam” into a funk. On good days, he talked of meeting in RL, despite the 2600 miles between our respective homes (not to mention my marital status). It was turbulent and frustrating, and not what I came to SL for.

The dissolution of that relationship, discussions with friends, and the evolution of a very special friendship with a man I’ll call Sparky (who is also married in RL) have led me to a short set of guidelines for SL relationships, not only for happiness within SL, but especially for balancing SL romantic relationships with RL.

First, both parties should be either single or partnered. If one person is single, he or she is far too likely to want to connect with the SL partner in RL. When both parties come from the same RL status, they are closer to equal footing as to the line between RL and SL.

Second, both parties should be in agreement as to how much time they can spend in SL and how much of that time is together. Adam had an SL girlfriend with whom he ‘lived,’ but when I met him she wasn’t spending much time in world and he claimed she didn’t always answer his IMs. Of course, that excuses neither of us for what was, essentially, SL infidelity; but why be in a monogamous relationship with someone who can’t be in world with you on a regular basis?

Third, your SL relationship should be an addition to your RL, not a substitute for it. Don't take the risk of replacing your RL partner's affections with those of your SL squeeze.

That’s what I’ve come up with so far. Obviously, that isn’t comprehensive….and I haven’t even touched on the ethical issues of online romance, or of polyamory within SL. As always, your mileage may vary. And if you have any guidelines you’ve developed that help you keep your balance, feel free to share.

If you dance with me once, does that make you my friend?

noreply@blogger.com (Roisin Hotaling) — Tue, 04 Sep 2007 00:43:00 +0000

After nearly three months in Second Life, I have a bunch of people on my Friends (or, as it’s called now, Contacts) list. Some are close friends, including that “special friend” who tickles my mind and makes my heart soar and my thighs tremble. Others are people I met once, maybe in a sandbox or at a favorite dance club. One is a musician who, I think, added me in a fit of self-promotion.

It’s handy to have the people you care about on your Friends list; you can know when they’re in world to take a ‘phone call,’ and in a few rare cases can even see where they are in world. With some friends who are coupled, I know, when I see that they’re both online, to let them call me, as I might be interrupting a date if I send one of them an IM. Others send me a ding the second they see me online, and still others never call me at all.

Thinking back on how they all landed in my virtual phone book, there seems to be a pattern: avatar sees avatar, avatar engages in public chat with avatar (maybe), avatar talks to avatar in IM (possibly during a session on some dance poseballs), avatar sends an Add Friend request. People who just see me at someplace like the Juke and send me a request without even talking to me first are summarily dismissed.

Of course, the first Add Friend requests came floating my way on Help Island, starting with an Italian guy calling himself Porky. I immediately realized this was going to be an international crowd, as I overheard some other guy nearby said he was from China. Hmmm…might SL provide a good opportunity to practice my Spanish? Then I befriended a woman named Icat in the freebie store. What fun: another potential fashionista with whom I could compare notes!

Of course, as time went on and I made more friends, I noticed that neither Porky nor Icat ever showed up online when I was there—and I was there a LOT. Neither did half the other people who added me as friends in the early days. Yeah, I practiced my Spanish a little, and a smattering of German once. As the list grew, I learned to delete people I hadn’t seen for a month, or people I really couldn’t talk to easily. I learned to select friends carefully, with a conversation that lasted more than 10 minutes—or, preferably, several lengthy separate conversations. While there are still a few people on the list who are really more acquaintance than friend, I will eventually winnow them out too. But I will say that if Sasha Memotech ever shows up in world again when I’m there, honey, I’d love another chat dance, OK?

So what really makes someone a friend in SL? Do you have rules for adding people? How many people are on your list? How many of those are you REALLY close to? Discuss.

EDIT: A few people who are DEFINITELY my friends but don't call often have expressed concern that I might delete them....don't worry, it's the people who talk to me ONCE who eventually get jettisoned, and I wait quite a while to do it. Didn't mean to cause my less chatty pals anxiety!

Aquawoman Begins a New Journey

noreply@blogger.com (Roisin Hotaling) — Sat, 01 Sep 2007 19:28:00 +0000

While I hardly think Second Life needs yet another fashion blog, I'm having such fun exploring the world of fashion, design, and building in SL that I can't resist starting my own little journal. I don't yet know where I'm going to go with this; I have a lot of thoughts dancing in my head about SL design and about how SL designers package their products. And, although I characterize myself as a fashionista, it isn't all about clothes and jewelry and shoes. Homes, furniture, animations, land, you name it:--it's all fair game.

That doesn't mean I'll neglect other aspects of SL such as incredible builds, favorite places, sites that need more attention, making friends, losing friends, how SL affects real life and vice versa. I'll try not to just re-hash all the other analysis already written about the sociology and psychology of SL; I'm certainly no expert in those areas in any case. (And if you're one of my SL pals, don't worry; names and identifying details will be changed to protect the guilty.)

So, let's see where it takes us. With any luck it'll be an enjoyable adventure in the metaverse, and I hope you'll join me on the journey.