Winky Wanker

A Chinese Torture Chamber Story

2006-08-08T13:13:00.000+08:00

A Chinese Torture Chamber Story
A review of the movie by a foreigner, for those who had watch this before (you guys know who you are), comment please.

Retards in Malaysia

2006-06-20T00:25:00.000+08:00

As can be seen from this video from Malaysia, it is obviously a place with highest concentration of retarded childrens in the world.

Again, thank god that the retardness didn't spread to me when I was still a child back then in Malaysia.

going to get myself a dog

2006-06-17T13:54:00.000+08:00

...and move to japan as soon as possible.
enough said.

Conversational English Lesson

2006-04-20T17:09:00.000+08:00

What most boys secretly learned during recess time in school, the japanese do it the different way, they have instructional video for it.

The only way

2006-04-18T00:10:00.000+08:00

... that makes abstinence works.

translation: no vagina, no AIDS
(poster for some AIDS awareness campaign)

Happy Fucking Birthday to Me

2006-04-15T02:31:00.000+08:00

It's my birthday today, and I'm officially twenty now.

So, what's the big deal?

There is none of any.

Instead, let's just see what else interesting is happening today.

We have another movie from our never grew up 6 years old japanese kindergartener, the famed and beloved mischievous little bastard who have a serious innate tendency to show off his hand drawn little 'elephant' with pants off while dancing around whenever possible.

He is coming out with a new movie today in japan, Odore Amigo (Dance Amigo). Like any good Shinnosuke Nohara flick should be, this movie as expected, will have a lot of Shinchan fooling around (with pants off most of time), a lot of chasing long legged beautiful 'sister', and definitely a lot of dancing, samba dancing, as the movie title suggested. Along with the dancing, there is a special appearance by Korikki, a professional wrestler, but is actually the master of para para dance in disguise, I doubt any of you know him, so I include this video to show you his great dance moves. This guy plus Shinchan is just going to be an insanely great dancefest coming to happen.

Check out the official site, and you know what? Even kindergartener these days keep a blog, Shinchan has one right here. You going to see the photo he takes when visiting kids at other kindergartens to give out movie tickets as presents, Shinchan is the kid with largest head if you find it hard to discern and make out which one is him from all those japanese kids that probably look all the same to you.

To further commemorate what a great day today is, Studio Ghibli also released an extended trailer for their next release 'Gedo Senki' (Tales of Earthsea), schedule for release in Japan in july this year. Its director is Miyazaki Goro this time, instead of his father Miyazaki Hayao. From what I see from the trailer, it resembles the earlier style of Miyazaki Hayao works, and the artwork is still as always, sharp and stylistic, Studio Ghibli's art direction never fails to amaze.

Next, on the same day in history, April 15, year 1912, at around 2:30am, the exact time in the history that a young man named Jack died drowning after a sea vessel named Titanic hit an iceberg, at least he died fictionally in a movie called 'Titanic'. Now, he's back in a sequel movie, aptly named 'Titanic Two The Surface'. Just see the movie trailer below if you don't believe what I've just said.

What a great day today is, and happy birthday to me.

Why Woman Have Breasts?

2006-04-10T17:33:00.000+08:00

Seriously, from evolutionary point of view, why does breasts exist? Have you ever give a thought on that before? It has no biological advantage, just like nipples on males, it doesn't make sense. It takes nutrient to maintain, and I'd say alot of nutrient, many girls usually lose a cup size after a successful diet (what a waste). Furthermore, it is not 'aerodymanic', try imaging running around with two lump of lard front of your chest, and at a time when there's no such thing as bra, like stone age, having a breast is hindrance, something that ensure you get chased down by sabretooth tiger in no time. So why?

From creationist point of view, why did God designed woman that way? If what He wants is abstinence for everyone, why not just design the breast to develop after a woman had her first sex or first pregnancy (like most animal do)? instead of develops when one reached puberty. Maybe he wants everyone to have sex when everyone at puberty afterall, in His great design plan. Now you see the absurdity? I meant the idea of creationist, not abstinence (chill, Justin). It's obviously bullshit, which many will easily agree, so creationist view is not going to be in our discussion. And by the way, I think abstinence is also proposed by the same group of people who proposed the creationist view, and don't forget geocentricity, saying the earth is center of universe, some people still believe that. It was on the newspaper few weeks ago, which the guy said, it's proven in bible. I think the bible also proved that stupidity is infinite through that guy. What a great book.

There must be a reason for this, and don't you just glad we have institutions like university with smart peoples on trying to solve every type of problems and answer all kind of questions out there. And here is the explaination of our breast problem through evolutionary psychology point of view, it's a great essay. It tried to explain why breast evolved (something to do with "Fisherian run-away selection", same reason why peacock have such frivolous feathers), and why men find breast is sexy (which how the breast looks could have some hidden signal, for example, larger breasted female may be a signal that one has enough fat, and may bear fatter child, an advantage for insulation, and body food storage). There is also some interesting stuff in it that I didn't know about before, like chimpanzees which we share common ancestral don't have permanent breast, it develops on a as needed basis. It's a 'turn off' for males chimpanzees to see a breast, unlike human, because a developed breast on female chimpanzee means it's about to give birth, or had just gave birth, trying to copulate will just be a waste of precious sperm, since it is very difficult to get pregnant in time like that.

There is so much more in it that I can't bother to list them out one by one. Go read it yourself. It's a damn good piece of work.

On How to Not Find a Job

2006-04-05T00:56:00.000+08:00

I'm not sure this is a podcast or actual radio broadcast from Hong Kong, it's all in cantonese, and extremely funny.

click this button to stream the mp3 and hear it, right click on it if you want to download.

Say no to porn

2006-04-03T15:15:00.000+08:00

Here I sit thinking Malaysia is a 'boleh' country all this time, hmmph! Why the goverment after saying rakyat 'tak boleh merokok' (no smoking) by issuing a clown ass campaign last time, and here comes this 'tak boleh tengok, elakkan diri dari laman lucah' (say no to porn).

Where the hell is the 'boleh' spirit??
Oh, now I know, 'boleh' is for all those stupid 'Malaysia Book of Records' stuff.
(not even a world record thing, basically, do anything no one has been stupid enough to do it before, you'll get into the book)
(update: even my favourite magazine, wired magazine has it lamented here in their latest april issues)
Now I get it. I had it all wrong for all this time.

This time instead of showing you raisin looking manballs caused by excessive porn surfing, in the style of the disgusting smokers mouth ala 'tak nak' anti-smoking campaign. They show you how to press 'alt-F4'. Good moves there, because pressing 'alt-F4' is the magical keypress that will just make porn sites dissapears from this world, and everyone will be happily ever after again, with ponies riding you to the heavens.

This must be all Justin's fault for all his talk about abstinence and shit, and see now what happened.

Speaking of all these porn sites thing remind me of a bizzare experience I once had. Some of you might know, but most not, that I once worked for a few months after graduate from high school in a kindergarten, in their small computer classroom, looking around 20 little kids and assist them or just play along with their so called computer education.

The kindergarten is sort of a catholic school, they have a church inside. I said sort of because it's not exactly one, since the students are not required a catholic, or even the staff, like me, they even have malay kids in, so it's quite bizzare when you see these kids singing stuff like 'I love Jesus' on the piano everday (or something along the same line, I have no idea on the name of the song, but I am pretty sure they have 'I love Jesus' on lyric, in chinese and english, and of course, no malay version). My classroom is just beside the piano room, and sometimes kids in my class sing along with the piano just to irk me when they have piano playing next door.

And no, I'm not that a sicko to share my story of surfing porn in a holy place like a church, that's blasphemy, and I'm not able to do it anyway, because the computer classroom is not internet-equipped. See? that is the only way to stop someone from surfing porn, even a serious porn addict like me can't do anything about it. Here's a suggestion to my goverment, want to stop porn surfing? Close down all internet service provider, it should be an easy task, there's so few ISP in the country to count to begin with.

It has something to do with the headmaster, who is also the priest of church if I'm not mistaken. There was one day that I was asked to go to his house after work. And again, NO, stop your sick little mind imagining stuff. His house was just inside the school compound, on the second floor above. I was there just to fix his computer just like he asked, you know, the usual stuff, his computer is running slower and slower for no reason at all. Of course that's what everyone says, for no reason. There's always a reason, and this particular computer of his has internet access. See where I am getting myself into? Here comes the bizzare thing, there I was power up his computer, waiting for everything to get loaded and see what I can do by looking around inside the computer. Suddenly a porn website pop-up window jumped out of no where, and instictively I checked the 'favourite' bookmark list, found some 'naughty' links up there. The priest was standing beside me while I do all this, and hell was it awkward? The first thing he said to me? "It must be my son", he said it with a cool stance. Yeah right, as I know, he only has a daughter and wife living with him, and for his daughter to look at lesbian sex? Hmm, well, that's for you to decide. I rest my case on this.

And by the way, I just want to say I get paid after that for deleting all those dirty links and cleaning up the spyware infested computer, for RM50, or maybe more, I can't exactly remember, but it was quite alot for me at that time as far as I can remember, for just doing that. I do things like that all the time, and never get paid before.

My Study Wiki

2006-04-03T00:34:00.000+08:00

After playing around with this blog template, I get more and more interested in web programming. And I just finished setting up a wiki for my use of taking study notes and stuff. Here is my study notes in wiki, there's not much to see since I just started it. It's quite cool because it doesn't need any installation, the single html file you see is already the whole application in itself, all written in javascripts, and it overwrite itself when you update stuff in the wiki.

You can try to set up your own, it doesn't have to be put online, if you don't have any access to webserver space, just put it in your usb thumbdrive or memory stick, and bring it everywhere with you. You can download it at www.tiddlywiki.com. I really recommended it, at least it works better than using lots of little text files on desktop created with windows notepad.

Video from North Korea

2006-03-30T19:10:00.000+08:00

This sort of relate to what I learned in psychology lecture this afternoon, on Skinner's behaviourism. With proper conditioning and stimuli, brainwashing can be done. Just look at these people in the video, and dare you not tell me their mind are fucked up?

Again, these people on video, I believe, are the lucky one among north korean, at least they still get to eat, for doing these mind blowing collective behaviour. And as you can see, their 'great leader', Kin Jong Ii is the only one being fat in the whole video, that is somekind of black humour right there. There are many still starved in famine just didn't show up in the video. Don't you somehow just glad that China escaped the chance to end up like this?

Worldmapper

2006-03-30T01:58:00.000+08:00

So, basically, this is how the world will look like population wise in a few hundred years later, india the fattest, along with china, while malaysia stay slim as always, with australia nowhere to be seen.

link: Worldmapper: The world as you've never seen it before

Wrong Reason to be...

2006-03-27T12:12:00.000+08:00

You know you have the wrong reason to be in school when you see someone like him end up being a CEO of dotcom.

Life is funny sometimes. Maybe it's not totally wrong that I think this world is not exactly a fittest win it all world, there's some hope left for me afterall.

Go read his life path, it might procure you some hope too, if you're loser like me.

link

Site Redesign

2006-03-25T12:27:00.000+08:00

This blog has undergone some serious revamping and improvement sprinkled with AJAX magic. The whole design may still look the same, that is because it hasn't changed much from the original template that I choosed from the available list of templates provided by blogger.com since I like it the way it's designed, and I don't think I can really design anything but ugly stuff. I am not a designer, but I can do a little programming, put it to good use, and the site can be made more accessible and user-friendly.

Things I have improved upon are mostly the inner structures, one of the things that I don't like what blogger.com has implemented is their commenting system. It usually takes a long time to load, and most of time, in a pop-up windows that can take quite a while to load especially if you're a heavy user like me who has tons of windows on desktop, left with not much system memory to spare on opening another pop-up windows. Little thing like this can sometimes make people (that's me) hesitant on posting comments at many blogs that uses blogger.com system. What I first did to overcome this was to embed it in the item page directly, so that visitors can just scroll down and see a comment box waiting for them to fill it in. It was done easier than I had initially expected, no javascript is needed except for cosmetic purpose on the interface, as for the functionality, just plain old html is all you need.

But that was still not a good enough solution, those who wanted to comment will have to click on a link on the main page to load another individual item page to access the embedded comment box. The best thing to do is to put the comment box under each post on the main page as many would have suggested at first sight, but that would made the main page too bloated that can cause longer load time, not to say too much complexity in coding, and unsightly to boot. With this in mind, a best of both world solution was implemented with an AJAX technique to extract and load the embedded commenting system from item page on demand at the main page. The best implementation of AJAX of website that first came to mind is gmail, the google webmail system. Did anyone realize that when you check your mail in gmail, you always stays on the same page, and it loads only the part it needed as required, this makes it more streamlined and intuitive to use, since it feels more like a email program than just a website.

To do the same thing with my blog, a magical mumbo jumbo called AHAH (Asychronous HTML and HTTP) is used, a subset of AJAX, but much more simple to implement, and useful in this specific requirement of fetching and display html data on demand instead of xml schema as in AJAX. All that needed was some javascript functions of AHAH, and modification of existing template. Besides the comments, the backlinks was also modified to use the same implementation at the main page. Please click on them to try it yourself, both the comment and backlink links are at the end of this post. If it works, it'll take a few seconds to load the commenting system, and show it immediately after that, all these contents are loaded on demand after you click on the link, which means the main page can still maintain its original size, but loaded with more features.

The next thing I added is on the right pane, a flash based mp3 music player under 'What I Listen'. At first I only wanted to add a list of album cover arts of the music I like recently, but that was kind of bland, and I think most people would have no idea what songs are those by looking at the cover arts since what I listen are hardly mainstream unless you live in taiwan or japan. What I did was again, a best of both world solution, a music player that shows you the album cover arts while playing the songs as streamed mp3. The mp3 should play in less than 5 seconds after you choose to play it unless you're still using 56kbps connection. I am very satisfied by this as it actually do more with less space, since that I don't need to have a list of all of the pictures of cover arts at the right pane, and just load it one by one while playing the accompanied song instead. Another added functionality is that you can add this music player together with my playlist to your sidebar if you're using firefox web browser and have the same taste of music as me, that is, all you need is to click on the link provided under the player and it'll add a bookmarks to your firefox, click the bookmark in your firefox and it'll show up as a sidebar player, cool eh?

Other trivial modifications on the right pane include a reversed archived list (it now sorts from the newest first, with help of little javascript, why blogger.com default output is sorting oldest to show at top is still a mystery), and a new referer link section, link to me, and your site's link will show up under "Referer" section, that is only if anyone ever clicked the link on your site anyway.

If you're intersted in doing any of these modification at your own blogger.com blog, please refer to the list of links below.

Related Links:
Inline Comment Forms - Singpolyma Technical Blog
AHAH: Asychronous HTML and HTTP - microformats.org
Howto: AJAX for Blogger peek-a-boo content
XSPF Web Music Player (Flash) - plays mp3 on your website

Polymorphism explained

2006-03-21T19:01:00.000+08:00

Warning: geek content, skip if computer programming has nothing to do with you.

You might had a hard time trying to understand how polymorphism works, with those 'cat' and 'dog' example oftenly overused in textbook. Now, no more. I bet you'll totally understand it right after seeing this OOP Concept explained: Polymorphism in terms well understood by college students, with words like 'pussy', 'penis', 'ass', and 'hole', everything seems much more clearer and concise.

What is wrong with her?

2006-03-20T20:22:00.000+08:00

What can actually go wrong with this picture? While it is generally accepted that a man don't hit a woman in any circumstances, but be well assured that you won't think so after seeing what this woman did to the cat she's holding on her hand. A word of warning, don't click on the link if you can't handle it, as it is extremely graphic, disturbingly disgusting, and will make you lose hope in humankind (again).

Seriously, you might be curious, but please don't go and look at it if you just had your meal, or are a cat lover.

I'm a cock

2006-03-20T04:33:00.000+08:00

I'm not talking about myself being a dick or a male variety chicken, just to be clear.

Do you remember writing those essays or composition as homework in school last time? I especially hated karangan, essay writing in malay, if only those could have title like 'Saya Sebatang Kotek' (hence the post title), then maybe I could somehow aprrehend the whole reason and meaning for us to do that unless I was aiming to work as a gossip reporter writing for malay languaged newspaper or magazines.

But anyway, I just discovered this extremely funny blog LENG MOU? by two fellow malaysian currently residing in UK. Can't believe I missed out this blog for almost half a year, I consider myself serious blog reader (maybe not serious, consider describe it as addictive compulsion is better justified), check out the list of blogs I read that I put on the right pane, you think that's a long list? Wait till you see my OPML or bloglines feeds list, then you realize what LONG really means, long as in my 20 incher under my pants.

Back to the LENG MOU? blog I was just going to talk about. I was reading through their archives non-stop, since it's so entertaining. Found out one of them is Mai Hagiwara fans (me too!), and kept mentioning her in quite a few blog post, that one alone is a good reason enough for putting them into my feed list, great mind thinks alike, more so great men usually have same taste in japanese av, don't say I didn't tell you.

I stopped the reading halfway through the archives and to blog here on their post entitled 'Saya Sebatang Kotek'. This clicked for me, and lighted a bulb above my head to do something about it, to make use of my 12 years worth of Bahasa Malaysia education, do a revisit of writing a karangan in this blog, one with title I had done in the past in school, but writing it the way I never could have do then, before my BM skill went down the drain before I can realize it. michealooi.net once had something similar for writing stuff in BM before but it was not as funny as this one.

Maybe the combination of Bahasa Malaysia and gentinal parts alone is inherently funny in itself, I remember any conversations among classmates in high school that involved words like 'kotek', 'puki', 'pepek', 'konek', 'tetek', 'lancap', 'unani', 'nonok', not to mention 'cibai', 'lanchiao' (which I think both are already unofficially in the malay vocab), will end up in endless laughter. We even tried to hunt down all of these lewd words by flipping through the dictionary, just for the fun of it. Maybe it's the hormones, or maybe it's just really funny to say them in malay, which anyway can explains my wide vocabulary of gentinal related phrase in malay, way more than the numbers of way eskimos can say 'snow' in their language.

Here's the essay entitled 'Saya Sebatang Kotek' that I would very loved to write it in school if possible, maybe in another alternate universe it may happen.

Helo! Nama saya Abu. Saya sebatang kotek berwarna hitam dan berukuran 15 inchi. Ya, banyak orang kata pemilik saya Bob sangat bernasib baik dilahirkan dengan saya tetapi sebenarnya, saya tidak dicintai. Tiap-tiap hari, saya disimpan di dalam seluarnya yang amat gelap dan dikeluarkan cuma apabila tiada orang di sekeliling. Manapun, Bob ada kalanya meluahkan hatinya kepada saya. Bila tiada orang nampak, Bob akan keluarkan saya dan menyentuh saya dengan kasih sayang yang amat lembut sampai says muntah. Saya tahu dalam minda Bob... saya memalukan dia.

Semuanya berubah pada satu hari bila Bob sudah lebih 20 tahun. Dia tiba-tiba mula menyukai saya dan juga membeli pakaian cantik untuk saya.

Walaubagaimanapun, pada satu hari, dia keluarkan saya di depan satu gua gelap. aku tidak beberapa suka situasi itu tetapi dia melembutkan leher aku dengan sentuhan kuku jari dia. tiba-tiba, gua it kena rusuk hantu! dia mempunyai dua batang leher and dua biji kepala! kepala it pelik sekali kerana rambutnya macam lima batang jari kaki! ok dan ini berlaku: Gua kena rusuk itu menggunakan kepala mereka untuk bunuh aku!

mereka cuba memotong saluran oksigen aki dengan memicit saya dengan kuat! aku hendak "duduk" pun tak boleh kerana kaki terajang! Tetapi, nasib baik dia perlahan sikit kerana tuan saya menjerit kesakitan.aku hampir termuntah tetapi tuan saya menyelamatkan nyawa saya dengan melarikan diri dari gua rusuk itu. pelik sekali, dia masih menyentuh saya seperti hendak memanaskan saya.

TIBA-TIBA tuan saya mendekati gua itu lalu memasukkan saya ke dalam gua itu!Taat dan kesetiaan saya pada tuan saya hilang sekelip mata. aku ketakutan apabila dalam gua itu, menunggu apa-apa yang akan terjadi pada saya. aku tidak takut dibunuh. tanpa penyediaan, badan saya digosok pada dinding gua itu! gua itu busuk sekali dan amat kering lagi ketat! tapi perasaan berubah apabila gris magik mengalir pada dinding dari siling rumah. aku rasa pada masa itu, hantu dari gua itu sudah merusuk tuan saya kerana tuan saya terjadi gila dan memasukkan saya dalam Simple Harmonic Motion pada 1000rpm. lepas beberapa jam, tuan saya masih bertenaga dan gua sudah dibanjiri dengan air merah! air merah itu tertumpah keluar dari dinding pecah.

aku terasa pening lalu memuntah. aku mengotori baju cantik saya. aku amat kasihan sekali. tetapi hantu dalam tuan saya sudah terbang pergi. tuan saya melepasi saya dari gua gila itu, menanggal baju cantik saya dan mencampakinya. aku tidak kisah kerana baju itu bau coklat dan aku tidak suka coklat.

(406 patah perkataan)

Go check out the LENG MOU? blog if you haven't do so.

Barney the purple Gansta

2006-03-18T01:47:00.000+08:00

For all you Barney, the purple dinosaur haters out there, this video may change your mind, I sort of like him this way now.

The Science of Sports Bra

2006-03-13T19:18:00.000+08:00

It's science with naked breast, what more can I ask for?
That is all I needed. Where can I sign up for this major?

Link to the Shock Absorber website

Ping Pong Madness!

2006-03-06T02:02:00.000+08:00

I didn't know ping pong can be played until such level of skills involved, just simply amazing! Check out the body wheel and running up to the table, it's crazy!!

Year of Dog

2006-03-04T23:35:00.000+08:00

I find this video extremely funny, in the later part especially near the end is great. Some may find this being somekind of racism against chinese culture though. But what the hell, I don't find it offensive at all, I'm liberal.

Fake Miniature Model

2006-03-01T17:37:00.000+08:00

Look at this miniature model, isn't it minutely painstaking detailed? There's even some miniature people walking on the street, and don't miss out the construction sites, you can even every little bricks if you looked hard enough.

... Did that fooled your eyes? It's was just an illusion, which can be done by using a special kind of lens, tiltshift lens to create this kind of out of focus aerial photography.

If you're interested, it also can be done in photoshop, with which the technique I learned from this tutorial on fake tiltshift in photoshop.

More photo of this style can be found over here, these are real aerial photograph taken with a tiltshift lens, not created with photoshop by the way.

Below is the original photo I used. See the difference?

Monster Sex

2006-02-26T19:02:00.000+08:00

not exactly what you think, but still is 18+ video, not safe to click, unless you really want to
i utterly lose hope in humanity after seeing this...

Glow in the Dark Pigs??

2006-01-13T04:50:00.000+08:00

See this glow in the dark pig. What's next? Flying pigs?

Real Life Densha Otoko

2006-01-12T22:34:00.000+08:00

Check out this Google Video. It is from the highest rating tv show in japan, it's so freakin cool, they always have this 'what the fuck?' moment in it, and this is one of the best. Go take a look at it, it's about the densha otoko, it's really interesting if you saw the drama before.