Winters Day In

Camel in a Body Cast

noreply@blogger.com (Talena Winters) — Mon, 13 May 2013 22:43:00 +0000

You know that expression "It was the straw that broke the camel's back?"

Well, I'm the camel.

And I'm still having a hard time processing that there really is a "maximum load" for what I am able to handle. But I've been forced to do so in the last few weeks. Since I'll have some time in a body cast while things work themselves out before I can heal, I guess I'll have some time to process everything. But it's still pretty fresh. (I'm hoping this post will help.)

For anyone freaking out right now, this is a metaphorical body cast. I am physically as fine as I ever am. (Actually, better, since I'm 10 lbs. lighter than most of the last year, thanks to the Slique Experience diet I was on.)

So, what do I mean?

Apparently, my plate, or my pack, or whatever, was already as full as it could possibly get before we got a baby in the family. Little did I know.

While I may not have been able to spend extra time on my businesses or the three courses I was taking at the time (working those around the first priorities of family and home school life), I was able to dedicate some time to them every week, and usually every day. (Businesses: Winters Distributing, Young Living, clothing design, and songwriting; Courses: 6-week Songwriting Course with Pat Pattison through Coursera, Portuguese from Mango Languages, and How to Think Sideways 6-month novel writing course from Holly Lisle.) And, other than the time-blitz required for year-end books and taxes that I was in the midst of finishing, I was still able to spend time with my husband in the evenings several nights a week and actually get a decent sleep, for the most part.

Levi changed that.

And I am NOT upset about that. Or him. The whole change was very sudden, not the way it would have worked if I had peed on a stick, praised God for a miracle, and got to spend the next eight months changing my commitments to allow for the extra work of adding a baby into our lives.

In a few days, we just had a baby--verging on a very busy toddler--without much time to think of the repercussions that would result. And, like a stone thrown in a pond that makes the ripples expand outward, we are still finding out where we need to make changes to accommodate this new addition. And, also like the ripples, each new thing seems to be bigger than the last.

Here is what my schedule looked like before Levi:

I know it's too small to read the words, but that doesn't really matter. What matters is that the only "unscheduled" time on this 24-hour/7-day schedule is the white stuff, totalling about 23 hours/week--and that was where I had to fit 10 hours/week of office work, time with my husband, extra household projects or needs, and any "down time". (To be fair, the tan-coloured Friday night and Saturday are the times I schedule off as fun time with family and maybe friends--and I clung to that each week, because I was sometimes approaching burnout by the time Friday night came along.)

One of the first things to go was Tuesday night Bible Study (in blue.) We had just finished a study, anyway, so it was a good time to take a hiatus, especially during the first two sleep-deprived weeks until Levi started sleeping through the night.

Fortunately, karate (orange) and piano lessons (light grey on Mondays) both ended within the last two weeks.

However, despite that, the books are stalled at the beginning of September, I haven't touched them for two weeks, and taxes were due almost a month ago. Since I can no longer work on them between lessons with the boys, or during any time period when Levi is awake, the extra time commitment required for them has to go into those white spaces--and frankly, I'm lucky to finish my daily paperwork before my brain turns off and it is time for bed, these days.

Then, two weeks ago, a cold virus hit our house. It was the kind of cold that left you a little sniffly, with a bit of a sore throat, but dead tired. And it recycled itself--you thought you were nearly done after three days, but a few days later you had it back again. Almost all of us got it, including me.

Was the cold the straw that broke me, that made tempers flare all day long, and my kids argue with everything I said, even if I was just trying to help them with math? No. It just accentuated a trend that was already occurring. We were all more tired, and me especially. A tired mama has less emotional energy to begin with, but since I was now spending a good chunk of that energy on meeting the needs of a toddler (thank goodness he's a fairly easy one!), I had less in reserve for handling the two strong-willed boys among the other three when it came to timely completion of schoolwork, or even finishing a math lesson.

Home schooling, which I used to love, became a chore for me. Sometimes I wouldn't get the marking done all week, then I'd pile half of it in front of Jason as I begged him to help with the mountain that had accumulated. Doing dishes by hand (which we have been doing since last November-ish you might recall) became not just a task but drudgery that sucked up any remaining spare minutes I used to have in my day, even with the help that the older three boys and Jason were giving in that regard.

Last Thursday after supper, I gave myself a time-out in my room. An hour and a nap later, I emerged, but sadly, my emotions and temper weren't much repaired. After the boys were all safely in bed, Jason and I had a heart-to-heart, and I shared with him just how desperate I had become.

Of course, he's no blind idiot, and he had seen how much I had been struggling over the last few weeks. He had already been trying to make suggestions, one of which was along the lines of "maybe we should put the boys in school next year."

My first reaction was to rebel--I firmly, firmly believe in home schooling, and not only that, I love doing it. It had been my first choice since before we had even conceived Jude. "At least until Grade 3", I had said, "depending on need." Jason had went along with it hesitantly at first, but became more of a believer as time went on and he saw the fruit of the individual attention the boys had received in their first few years of academia.

So it wasn't because he thought I was doing a poor job that he had gently suggested the change. That didn't matter--I wasn't ready to listen when he first said it about three weeks ago.

By Thursday, though, after two weeks of meltdowns (several of which were mine), I was ready to entertain it. Even though I brought it up with the request that we look at any other possible alternative first, in my heart, I knew there really weren't any. Not only that, my main reasons for wanting to home school the boys for their first few grades were no longer a concern--they all love reading, love learning, and have fair-to-excellent ratings on the stability of their value systems. Jude and Jabin both thrive in classroom environments, and Noah will likely do okay, especially if he is able to get some extra, individual support. They all want to go back to school, too.

With the mounting pressures--my kids fighting all day at home (with me and each other), wanting to go to school, Jason wanting to send them to school, and my own increasing emotional instability, it was hard to deny that school might really be the best option. But we decided to take some time to pray about it before making a final decision.

Friday afternoon, hiding in my bathroom, I sniffled into the phone, "Mom, I'm breaking..."

Her response was similar to what Jason's had been--I should not feel bad about having to make this change... I was already a Supermom, and most other women wish they could accomplish half as much... It really might be for the best...

Part of my mom's Mother's Day gift for me.

Still, it's hard not to feel like I've failed, at least a bit. I haven't been doing a great job of home schooling for the last month or two. I feel overwhelmed with my "to-do" list all of the time. And if other women I know can home school with toddlers, babies, and grade school children, why can't I handle the addition of a toddler alone?

"You set the bar so high for yourself," Jason says. I need to cut myself some slack, apparently.

Looking at my schedule, and my life, I am trying to. By Saturday, I knew that the kids would definitely have to go back to school--every time I thought of it, I was overcome with relief. I took that as a sign.

I also knew that I needed help now, just to make it through the end of this school year intact.

So, we are working on a few things that will allow that to happen. Even still, last night as I was revamping the rest of the year's science program to make it work, I was still fantasizing about just driving the boys to the school and entering them for the last six weeks of this year... which just seems a little ridiculous. I think there are other, more appropriate solutions to the issue. But still, I took that as a sign.

For now, I may have to allow myself a summer without a garden... or broiler chickens. I haven't decided, but since I've been trying to get to ordering broilers for four weeks, now, and the only time I managed to even dial the phone (with a strange feeling of dread in my heart) the company was too busy to take my call... maybe I should take that as a sign.

I'm not quite sure what the next few months to a year will look like. But for now, despite the relief, I am still grieving the passing of a much-enjoyed chapter of my life. I covet your prayers as I look forward to the best parts of the future chapters, and attempt to see past the mire that is my day-to-day right now.

And thank God that Levi has brought much joy to our household, as well as being the catalyst that brought my house of cards crashing down around me. Maybe I should have made these changes before, I don't know. But now that the need is so glaringly obvious, I think I'd be a fool not to take that as a sign...

Where's a Genie When You Need One?

noreply@blogger.com (Talena Winters) — Fri, 26 Apr 2013 05:34:00 +0000

This afternoon, I overheard my kids indulging in some wishful thinking. It was the, "If you could have three wishes, what would they be?" discussion.

Jude wanted ten billion dollars, to be faster than the speed of sound, and to know everything there was to know about everything. (Not omniscience, just to have all of humanity's accumulated knowledge in his head.)

Noah wanted to have the power of invisibility, to have all the video games in the world (except monster and zombie games), and that everyone would do whatever he said. (He initially expressed this as "That everyone would believe me." Questioning produced clarification.)

Jabin wanted a trillion dollars, super strength, and all the video games in the world (except zombie games, "because of Noah.")

Jude asked Levi what he would wish for. His response was "Aaaah, baah, bah, bah..." He sounded pretty happy just the way he was. :-)

I guess, as an adult, I have become kind of boring. I was thinking about what I, in my heart of hearts, wanted most at 3:00 this afternoon when this discussion was taking place. My top three things were:

1. a nap
2. that all my books and taxes would be finished and filed
3. that my husband and kids would be fulfilled, happy, and blessed.

Is this all I want? No. Don't I have bigger dreams than naps and completed paperwork? Of course I do.

But at 3 p.m., those sounded like the best things to me. Just like a good night's sleep sounds pretty good right now.

So, off I go... because I have a feeling that being well-rested may let my mind ponder those bigger dreams again for a while.

Keep Talking, Baby!

noreply@blogger.com (Talena Winters) — Tue, 23 Apr 2013 06:20:00 +0000

When Levi joined our family, he had already begun to speak a few words: Papa (favourite person, remember?), and also he would want to be held and he would go around pointing at things saying "Zah?" for "What's that?"

Since then, he hasn't tried to say much else... until today. Well, to be honest, I think he said "No" a few days ago when he saw me coming to reprimand him for playing with the water cooler spigots... again. He quickly withdrew his hands, got a serious look, and said, "Noo," ever-so-softly. It was the cutest thing... but didn't stop him from doing it again later!

One of the things that has fascinated him about our house has been all the plants everywhere. Silk or real, I have plants and flowers all over my house, which weren't very prevalent in his previous home. He would point to them, saying "Zah?" over and over again as we answered, "Plant", or "Flower."

Today, while admiring for the umpteenth time the little silk sunflower on a shelf across the hall from where he gets his diaper changed, he said, plain as anything, "Fow". And said it several more times today.

Later, while I was having tea at Amanda's, he said "Pant" while pointing at one of hers (she has them everywhere, too.) He said "pant" a few more times today, too... always with lots of positive reinforcement, of course.

Oh, I just remembered that he has picked up the baby sign for "dog" (panting), and I think he actually has tried to say "dog" a few times, but it hasn't been consistent or clear.

Other signs he has learned are "up" (he had already learned to raise his arms and say "Uh!" for "up" before we got him), "more", and "down". Amazing how only a few words can make communication so much easier... and how him asking to get down makes it much more pleasant to hold him, rather than have him throw himself out of your arms unexpectedly.

Can't wait to hear what he's going to say next! :-)

Settling In

noreply@blogger.com (Talena Winters) — Sat, 20 Apr 2013 21:22:00 +0000

The last two weeks have had their ups and downs, but fortunately, there have been more ups than downs.

Levi is starting to feel more at home, both with us and with the actual house. This was evidenced by how he kept pushing boundaries as much as possible beginning two weeks ago. While this is completely normal for a child that has just learned to walk--since the horizon is suddenly three feet higher--there is even more of this here, since he hadn't had any previous boundaries established at crawling height to start from. Not only that, he is still early in the process of attaching to us as parents, so he is also pushing against our boundaries.

The worst casualties of this experimentation are our school bulletin boards in the hallway, since there was really no place to relocate those things that they would still be useful to us. Several centuries of history have been obliterated from the timelines, and key figures from the early stages of humanity have been demolished. Has anyone you know winked out of existence, lately? If so, my sincerest apologies. ;-)

This week, despite several interrupted nights that have made for long, tiring days for all members of our family (the paper-thin walls, hollow doors, and ankle-high gaps under them in our trailer don't do much to slow down the transference of sound between parts of our house), Levi seems to be fitting in more and more as a family member instead of a guest. Last weekend, Jason and I were discussing how we still felt like the babysitters... this week, I started to feel more like his mom. He would do cute things to get our attention, he would play and wrestle with the boys more, and he would be more easily comforted by Jason and I. He has become less clingy (a sign of a more secure attachment).

We have also seen Levi's natural happy-go-lucky, laid-back personality start to re-emerge, which has made him much more pleasant to be around. The sudden changes in caregivers, diet, and environment combined with teething meant that the first few weeks were mostly spent carrying around a fussy, insecure baby. The shift has been encouraging.

We have also managed to get his diet figured out a little better. We are back in the groove of creating baby food, keeping regular feeding schedules, and have started to work out just how much lactose this baby boy can handle. (Not much. Too much lactose=unpleasant diaper changing experiences.)

Rubber bands--pshaw!! Rules were meant to be broken, right?

Beets=fun baby photos.

Speaking of diapers, I began my adventures in cloth diapering this week. So far, I haven't made Jason deal with any of the cloth ones (oops, except a wet one he took off as he was prepping Levi for bed one night), as there was about a two-month supply of disposables that came along with him we need to use up (so they stop "using up" space in our house!), so he's been in disposables at night. However, cloth diapering is way easier than I thought it would be, and I still haven't even gotten any of those flush-able paper liners for them--although I am looking forward to having them!

I got started fairly cheaply, buying most of what I needed from a friend who is past the baby stage. She had sewn the diapers herself from a kit she bought on Etsy, but had several purchased covers and other accessories that came with the package--all in all, it would have cost well over $350 to buy all that new, and she gave me a super deal at only $50. The diapers are similar to these. So, I only had to buy a few things like new fasteners (bye-bye, diaper pins! Check out the coolness of modern diaper fasteners!) and some boy-themed and slightly larger diaper covers, as the smaller pink hearts she had for her little girl aren't so stylin' on our little man. :-) I was glad to find a SAHM in Grande Prairie with a "local" online business that I could support to fill in the gaps. (www.ClothDiaperKids.com)

Cloth diapering, even only during the day for the last three days, has already had the desired effect--less garbage going out. We went from throwing away a half-to-one 22-L bag of garbage a week B.L ("Before Levi"), to a full (stinky!) one every 2-3 days after we got him, especially when we were working through the teething and lactose issues, to now going back to pretty much what we were at before. We don't have a dumpster or a burn barrel, so disposing of garbage for us is kind of an inconvenience--we have to take it to the local dump for our area, but there are only two time blocks a week that it is open, and it is about 20 minutes away in a direction we rarely travel. We prefer to save it in a couple of garbage bins until they are full, and make the trip every few months. Thank goodness, we won't be filling those up once every two weeks anymore!

Thankfully, we didn't have to sink any money into buying any disposable diapers before I got going on this. A quick trip down the baby aisle at the grocery store reminded me how outrageously priced they are, all to wrap your baby in chemical-laden plastic and paper that is inconvenient to dispose of and harmful for both the baby and the environment! I wish I would have taken the time and energy to figure out cloth with my older three boys. Oh, well... never too late to start, I guess. :-)

Enough about diapers...

In the last two weeks, Levi's preferred form of transportation has gradually morphed from crawling with a few occasional steps to walking full-time. He's getting faster and more stable, but still trips and goes "kerplunk" on his butt fairly frequently. Good thing those cloth diapers offer extra padding! (Okay, last time with the diapers. I promise.)

While most of the excitement in our home has centred on our most recent addition lately, Jude did get to go to his buddy Ethan's birthday party last Saturday. The activity for the party was that Ethan's dad (an accomplished career carpenter) helped the boys create medieval weapons from plywood.

Jude designed a rather menacing-looking sword. And posed with it.

Jude, April 2013 (Age 10)

The more things change, the more they stay the same, right?

Jude, July 2006 (Age 3)

Cardi Love

noreply@blogger.com (Talena Winters) — Tue, 16 Apr 2013 05:18:00 +0000

I am so in love with this shrug:

I desperately want to make it, especially since one of my few wardrobe items that resembled it has felted to much too small for me this winter because I was too lazy to handwash it. Apparently, that was a bad idea. It used to look like this:

Now, it doesn't. :-) (It is much more of a shoulder-hugging shrug now than the original Cable Vest, actually--which, by the way, is a brilliantly simple design by Sarah Punderson.)

The only problem is how very little knitting time I am getting these days. Less that blogging time, apparently, and that hasn't happened in a few years. :-) On the rare day when I do have a chance to sit on the couch with my hubby at the end of it, my hands are just so happy to be empty, and my arms are so thrilled to not be holding anything in them, that I will sit and watch an entire episode (currently on Season 1 of Smallville) without so much as opening my knitting bag.

Not to mention, I'm in the middle of three knitting projects already.

Still, the Forest and Frill pattern is calling me... It's so darn summery... and those other projects-in-progress (double-knit cheetah balaclava/mitt set I'm designing, thigh-high chunky cabled socks I'm designing, and green lace socks I'm not designing) all seem to be dragging into rather unseasonable seasons.... well, with the exception of the lace socks. Which, in my defence, is what I have been working on lately, when I have been knitting at all. (Although I know I need to finish the other ones so the patterns can be posted at the beginning of the appropriate season!)

Cables and lace, how I love thee... especially when combined in a perfect crop top and a delicious chocolate hue...

Bulking Up

noreply@blogger.com (Talena Winters) — Fri, 12 Apr 2013 00:00:00 +0000

This winter, Jason has been doing some training, as he is planning to enter the Spartan Race in Edmonton this July. There is a kid's version of the race, too, and the boys are stoked that Daddy let them enter it. Thus, they have been diligently doing karate, swimming lessons, walks or Nike Plus (Fitness XBox Kinect program) on non-class days, and with the nice weather lately, they have added "trampolining" to the regimen.

All that hard work has really been paying off.

Honest, we don't let our kids use steroids, or anything! Maybe there was a radioactive spider around the place, somewhere...

;-)

Levi: Week Two

noreply@blogger.com (Talena Winters) — Fri, 05 Apr 2013 14:40:00 +0000

The second week with Levi in our family has seen some significant changes, not the least of which was the little man turning one!

Before last weekend, we had not yet had even one whole day home together as a family. However, thanks to a four-day weekend that Jason got over Easter, that was rectified. At the beginning of the weekend, Levi was still ultra-clingy to me, exclusively. However, by Monday, he had decided that this "Dad" guy was okay to be with, too.

He has been more and more settled as the week has gone on. Also, I think the tooth that has been bothering him has gone up a little. That irks me, since I know we'll have to go through all those symptoms of teething (including clinginess) again, but it has given us some temporary relief from the Cry Baby.

The rest of us, too, seem to be finding our new groove with a baby in the house. It has been helpful that for the most part, he has been sleeping through the night for the last week. He goes to bed at about 8-8:30, and has begun sleeping until 6:30-7:15. That's exactly what we were hoping for.

Sleep training during the day is not going so well. He still wants to be held or rocked to sleep, and as soon as he is put down, wakes up and fights it. As many of you know, I don't have time to hold a baby (nor the strength to hold a 26-lb. bundle!) for an hour and a half so he can sleep. One day, he had three short naps of 20-30 minutes each. Yesterday, he slept for five minutes, and refused to sleep any more. That cherubic photo at the beginning of this post was taken in his carseat on Wednesday, when he fell asleep in town and had a rare, 1 1/2-hour nap.

So, he is still learning how to self-soothe. However, as long as he is sleeping at night (so the rest of us can sleep, too!), handling a fussy, tired baby during the day becomes a lot easier to do.

All in all, after two weeks, I feel like we are beginning to discover what the "new normal" is. Even though our lives remain full, as I did not have time to do the normal "weeding-out" of activities that would have happened had I been having a baby the traditional way, he has begun to fit right into it like he has been there all along.

In other news, Jude is taking a belt test for karate today, going for his yellow belt. Unfortunately, it is in Grande Prairie, and the weather is not that great. Jason is supposed to let me know what the roads are like when he gets to work--I'm not sure whether I hope he says that they are fine to travel, or I should stay home! At least if we go, Levi should get a nap! ;-)

Happy Friday, friends!

First Birthday

noreply@blogger.com (Talena Winters) — Thu, 04 Apr 2013 04:43:00 +0000

Levi turned one yesterday. To celebrate, he spent a couple of hours with his Nana and birth mom/"Auntie". Then when he came home, he had fresh oatmeal chocolate chip cookies.

Last night, I gave him a haircut. I don't think it was his absolute first, but it may have been the first all-over cut. (This boy came out with a lot of hair, so he's probably had a trim or two before.) Here he is today, sportin' his new 'do. It's a bit choppy in places, but for a baby haircut, he did amazingly well. I've just got a couple little pieces I need to even out later.

Today, we had errands to do in town all afternoon. Despite that, this was the happiest, most settled day that he has had since he came to be with us. It also followed the longest, most undisturbed night of rest he has had yet.

Every day, things are getting just a little easier.

We are so looking forward to what the next year brings. Love you so much already, little man!

Levi: Week One

noreply@blogger.com (Talena Winters) — Thu, 28 Mar 2013 22:28:00 +0000

Tomorrow, it will be a week since our family grew by two feet. It has been an emotional ride, as well as a physical one. My body is no longer trained for the rigours of carrying around a teething, 26-lb. toddler, nor for waking once or more at odd hours in the middle of the night, nor for surviving on army sleep rations--6 hours or less!

Emotionally, we and the Stanleys have been working out the details of a transition that was too fast to be healthy... in retrospect. Now that it has gone down the way it did, we are having to work things out backwards a little. This has not been as easy on any of us as we would like, so I would ask that you continue to pray for us, but especially them. We are merely dealing with a little extra busy-ness, and the joys of getting to know this little guy. They are dealing with a gaping void that suddenly appeared in their lives, and although there is less work for them, they also are missing the many joys that come from having a baby in the house.

I am going to keep the overall tone of the rest of this post positive, however.

Sleep training is progressing, but not "there", yet. Levi is cutting his top left-of-the-middle tooth (which will make 6 total), and that has made him fussy, not to mention the major changes he has experienced recently. All things considered, things could be worse, though. Incidentally, I found out that Frankincense oil diluted 1:4 with vegetable oil is a fairly effective teething remedy for babies, you just have to apply fairly frequently when the pain is really bothering them.

As of today, I pretty much have all of his stuff unpacked and sorted through, so as soon as I can put the yet-to-be-grown-into clothes out into the Seacan, and give the just-grew-out-of-them clothes to a new friend of mine with a 3- or 4-month old boy, he'll be "moved in."

Last week saw me doing some significant rearranging of our living room, purchasing new storage and shelving units to keep things safer for little guys, and throwing in some spring cleaning and mouse-proofing (a recently-discovered issue) to boot.

Last week when we brought Levi home, Jabin laid out his Big Brother plan:

"First, I'm going to teach him to walk. Then, I'm going to teach him to talk. Then, I'm going to teach him to read!"

Well, this boy has taken being a big brother by the horns, I tell ya. He dotes on Levi, as do the other boys, but it has been such a joy to watch Jabin really dive into this new role. He has fed him lunch several times, and enjoys entertaining him for me at such times as I can't be carrying or holding him.

Two of the kids have caught a stomach bug that's been going around recently--Jude and Jabin. I am hoping that it stops there, as some of my least-favourite memories of this stage are cleaning up pukey crib sheets and blankets several times a night, and middle-of-the-night baths. So far, so good.

Levi turns one next Tuesday, so I am going to be spending this weekend planning a birthday/adoption party for next weekend. And hopefully, while my husband is home, getting caught up on a little sleep!

On an unrelated note, I started the Young Living Slique Experience diet last Sunday (March 17), of which a key component is using Slique Essence to control cravings and regulate blood sugar. Alongside that, I have been severely limiting grains, especially wheat (not quite a full elimination, but close), and also dairy in my diet. So far, I have lost 6 pounds. Not bad for 12 days, I guess! My total goal is to take off the 20 extra pounds that have snuck onto me without permission over the last several years. As an added benefit, the extra exercise Levi is currently adding to my day is inadvertently aiding the process. :-)

Here's a photo that Jude took last night--it's blurry, but he's still cute!!

... And Baby Makes Four

noreply@blogger.com (Talena Winters) — Sun, 24 Mar 2013 04:29:00 +0000

Our family has experienced some major changes in the past, as many of you know. What family doesn't? However, this week has brought about one of the biggest in the shortest amount of time that we have ever gone through. (It may be at the top, but my sleep-deprived brain is a little too cloudy to focus on sorting them out by weight at the moment.)

We have a new family member, as of yesterday. We are adopting our friends Brian and Laverna Stanley's grandson.

This all came about at breakneck speed, but the smoothness, and timing, can only be God-ordained and God-provided.

Last Friday (the 15th), we called the Stanleys to invite them to a late pool party celebration of Noah's birthday on Saturday. (The celebration was late, not the pool party. :-D) At that time, we got the first news that their daughter had recently reached the conclusion that she could no longer care for her son in the way that he needed. They were in the process of gaining legal parental guardianship.

When Jason got home, I shared the news with him, and we discussed our concerns (me through my tears as I prayed for this situation and this little boy), which we knew would be the same concerns that the Stanleys must be experiencing. They have health and age issues to consider in being able to raise a little boy to adulthood.

Unbeknownst to me, Jason offered that we could adopt Orion while he and Brian were discussing the situation on Saturday. Unbeknownst to both of us, this was an answered prayer for the Stanleys. (And for us, too, really.)

On Monday, they called to say that they were open to the idea, and to set up a meeting to discuss it.

On Wednesday at the meeting, we cleared up any concerns on all sides, and Orion's biological dad gave approval to the adoption right afterwards, so we were in the clear to proceed.

On Friday morning, I picked him up, and most of his accompanying gear (I forgot how much STUFF babies have!), and he spent the day doing errands in town with the kids and I and Grandma Laurel, and then when we got home, Brian brought out the crib. The only real fussing he did all day was while Brian was bringing all the pieces into the house, going back-and-forth to the truck. Apparently, he normally does that when his Papa comes home from work, too--Papa Stanley is his favourite person in the world right now, I think.

Last night, we began sleep training the little man. He did pretty good for a first-timer, but the rest of us are not so used to middle-of-the-night interruptions, and we all had pretty rough sleeps. I was actually not able to go back to sleep after getting up with him at 3:45, so other than a dozy nap after Jason got up, I'm running on adrenaline. That is petering out fast, so as soon as I am finished this post, it is off to bed for me.

This transition, while for the good, is definitely taking an emotional toll. For us, we are thrilled to be able to add him to our family, but our hearts are breaking for Brian and Laverna and Jenn, his biological mom. For them, they know that this is the best and right thing to do, but they are going through the grieving process. However, they are also looking with hope to the other side--when they get to be grandparents for the first time in their lives. (They are already raising their other grandson, Quinton, who is buddies with Noah and Jabin.)

We have decided to rename him Levi Simon Winters. Simon is currently one of his middle names, and is a family name from Laverna's side. "Levi" means "joined" as he has joined our family, and "Simon" means "he has heard." It was the only name they asked that we keep the same as before, and really, it is so SO perfect.

He has heard my petition for another child in our family for the last seven years.

He has heard the Stanleys' prayers for a loving family for their precious grandson that would allow them to still maintain a relationship with him.

And, He has heard Jude, Noah's, and Jabin's prayers for a baby sibling. (They were rooting for a sister, but they are just over-the-top THRILLED that they have a baby brother, that it is the little boy they already knew and loved, and that we are calling him Levi, as that was their favourite name from the options we had narrowed it down to.)

I haven't had much time to take photos, yet, but here is one taken yesterday of our soon-to-be one-year-old Levi with his new big brothers. (Even Jabin, who is SO excited to be a big brother at last!)

Tea=Breathing?

noreply@blogger.com (Talena Winters) — Mon, 18 Mar 2013 04:55:00 +0000

On one of the kids' shows they were watching today, I heard the best quote:

SAKA: But I'm getting tired of tea, Uncle!

UNCLE: (Incredulous) Tired of tea?!! That's like getting tired of breathing!!!

Yup.

Now You're Talking my Language

noreply@blogger.com (Talena Winters) — Sat, 16 Mar 2013 18:27:00 +0000

I just found the most adorable shop on Etsy, with beautiful and original graphic pillow and cushion covers. I highly recommend you check out Soeur à la Soeur. Here is one of my favourites (which, ironically, is very different in style from any of the other pillows I saw in their shop, but this one just seemed like it needed to be posted on this particular blog. I think you'll understand why.)

A Random Series of Un/Fortunate Events

noreply@blogger.com (Talena Winters) — Thu, 14 Mar 2013 18:40:00 +0000

Last weekend, the clocks sprung forward an hour for Daylight Savings Time. Ever since, "springing" out of bed has been out of the question for me. I've felt tired all day, every day, and am really hoping that this weekend will help me make the final transition into the new schedule. The spring time change is always the worst for me, but seems worse than usual this year, not sure why. (Anyone else wish that the almighty "THEY" would pick one and stick to it, for-crying-out-loud?!)

Maybe the tiredness is accentuated because the weather simultaneously went from "warm and sunny" to "freeze-your-knackers-off and gloomy", which doesn't help at all.

Despite that, the week has plugged on at it's normal, relentless pace. The boys are in another round of swimming lessons for three days a week until the end of March. Unfortunately, it is in the morning this time around, which really messes up our school schedule on those days. By the time we get home, not only are we past their brains' peak operating times, but they are also tired from the swimming. Some days, my pokey middle child hasn't finished his "morning" subjects until 5 p.m.... or later. The other two are sometimes not far ahead of him. It can make for kind of a long day, not to mention that we are falling further and further behind in our "afternoon" subjects of history and science. Thank goodness we are not Alberta-government-aligned in those ones!

Last fall, I joined a ladies Bible study group to do a study on James by Beth Moore. We just finished it up this week (crammed an 8-week course into four months :-D), and I am so thankful for what I learned through it. It has helped me to become much more proactive in my faith, in the sense of not only seeing the need that surrounds me, but looking for ways that I can actually do something about it. It can still be frustrating to see so much wrong in the world and feel so inadequate for the task of making a difference--but I can still make a small difference. And the small things that I can do might just make a big difference in the life of somebody. We never know what long-term impact our small actions can make on the world, whether for good or for bad. The study also inspired my assignment for Week 2 of the songwriting course I am taking from Berklee professor Pat Pattison, which you can read about on my music blog.

Last weekend, I cajoled Jason into doing a renovation project that has been on the back-burner since moving into our current trailer. When we moved in, the linoleum throughout the house needed to be replaced. The addition was done before we even moved anything into it (by yours truly, I am proud to say), and at the same time as we purchase lino for that project we also bought laminate for the larger boys' bedroom to cover the disintegrating 35-year-old linoleum that was there. We got a great deal on the flooring through Spirit River Flooring (it really does cost less, there!), partly because we weren't being very picky about colour, partly because they had a sale on laminate at the time, and partly because the saleslady was very sympathetic to our situation of having to replace our home because of the mould issue, and did the best she could for us on the price.

Fortunately, when we purchased the first trailer, the previous owners had just put laminate into the smaller bedroom in that trailer, and they had three leftover boxes that they gave us. That bedroom is almost identical in size to the room Jude currently occupies, so we figured we would have more than enough laminate to do the floor in there without purchasing anymore, even if it meant lifting some out of the old trailer.

However, despite getting Noah's and Jabin's room done last spring, and having the best of intentions to get to Jude's "fairly soon," it didn't happen until this Sunday past. However, once we got started on the project, it only took a few hours to empty the room (including taking apart the bunk beds), lay the flooring, and move everything back in. Jude got to bed a little late, but since it was the first day of the time change, he probably wouldn't have fallen asleep earlier, anyway--night owl that he is. The three boxes of laminate were the perfect amount to cover the floor, so we didn't even have to lift the "used" stuff. :-)

It's nice to have that project out of the way. It seems that stuff like that doesn't happen in the summer, because it is way too hot indoors. Maybe we should look at getting a window-mounted air conditioner this summer, because frankly, I am kind of amazed we got through last July without my guitar cracking and without all of us turning into little pools of water and minerals in our beds.

At any rate, while Jason was cutting floorboards outside last Sunday, he let our Alaskan Malamute (who is now a 17-month-old "teenager," with all the grace of Goofy in a China shop, and the self-discipline of a two-year-old), Thunder, run free. During the warmer weather we were having last week, we had been tying him up to prevent untimely chicken deaths as we let the chickens out of the coop to enjoy the sun. The snow, at about three feet, is high enough that these excellent flyers don't feel that the run fence is a particular hindrance right now.

Jason was keeping an eye on him, but it doesn't take long for this speedy dog to be on top of any little thing that he thinks might entertain him, which was the case with one unfortunate hen who strayed outside the run. Jason interfered before she died, but since Thunder had been tossing her around like a football, she lost all but one scraggly little tail feather, nearly all the feathers on her back, and several square inches of hide, as well.

So, needless to say, "Rosie" (as we have now dubbed her) has been spending the last several days in the house in a large plastic storage tub that doubles as a brooder for small batches of chicks. She is past the critical stage--she didn't go into shock and die, and after several bouts with hydrogen peroxide and colloidal silver, the wounds have closed up and appear uninfected--and yesterday, she even started walking around in her little tub, eating stuff, and clucking gently at us when we checked on her. If it weren't for the missing flesh at a most inopportune location as far as roosterly "affection" is concerned, I'd actually send her back out today. As it is, I'm wondering, How long will it take for a chicken's hide to grow back?! I guess we'll see. The poor thing will have to be in "solitary" for another day or two, at least.

Well, you're pretty much caught up, and that's enough rambling for one post. Happy Thursday, friends!

Bring on the Comic Books!

noreply@blogger.com (Talena Winters) — Wed, 06 Mar 2013 00:53:00 +0000

Some people "poo-poo" comic books for their children. I don't--chosen appropriately by the parents, I think they are a wonderful motivational and--dare I say it?--educational tool.

This epiphany came the first time I purchased a comic book for my boys to read. It was Sonic the Hedgehog. My two oldest, who usually did nothing but bicker with each other, sat quietly in a chair and read the whole thing. Together. And again. And did I say "quietly?"

As they got older, they discovered Jason's and my "Calvin and Hobbes" books. We only had a few at the time, but they devoured them--to the point that I need to have one of them rebound. Despite the fact that most of the humour is over the head of an actual six-year-old, I loved that they loved them. I mean, C'mon! Calvin sometimes uses words that I have to look up! Eventually, we got the entire collection (which we doled out on special occasions and birthdays for at least a year).

The obsession with Garfield is one that Jason and I have been less fond of--we haven't purchased any, but they borrow them from the library. Jason and I both find Garfield to be kind of a negative jerk. Oh, well. None of the characters wear spandex, or have unrealistically-proportioned body parts, or is shown mostly naked, or--oh, wait. Yes they do. But in a funny way, not the give-you-nightmares-or-make-you-horny way. Could be worse.

Sonic comics have continued to be motivational to my children. After reading 10 books aloud to me (or 5 chapter books with book reports as they get older), they get a Sonic comic. It's a reward that is easy on the pocket book, and we thus reward reading with... Surprise! More reading!! What surprises me is that they haven't just figured out that they can buy the comics themselves with their "spend" money... but I'm glad!

The latest comic obsession has had a result that I didn't expect. My kids are devouring the "Bone" books by Jeff Smith as quickly as we can buy them or borrow them from the library. So far, we own the first four.

Apparently, one of the characters likes quiche. So there's vocabulary and culinary expansion right there--after I corrected their pronunciation, and explained what it is, they said, "That sounds good!" I said, "It is! I've made it, but it's been a while. I'll make it again soon." "Okay!" Yay! for getting them to want to try new things! :-)

Apparently also, one of the characters is obsessed with the book "Moby Dick." So, after a search through our Penguin Classics came up null, and then finding it among the books on our Aurora eReader, guess what Jude started reading last night?

He's already on chapter six, or something.

"The way they write the English takes a little getting used to," was his comment to me this afternoon.

After all my years trying to get my children interested in reading the classics--and trust me, I own and have available nearly every age-appropriate classic I can find, and have tried repeatedly to get them interested in them via reading aloud to them--who knew that a comic book would be the trigger that got them started on it?

So, yep, I like comic books. No one can tell me they aren't educational!!

Newly Nine!

noreply@blogger.com (Talena Winters) — Tue, 26 Feb 2013 20:38:00 +0000

Noah, my sweet middle boy, is turning nine today. What a perfect opportunity to celebrate a child who is cuddles and smiles and math genius and cause-of-mommy's-gray-hairs all in one. Here are some things about Noah right now:

Favourite Food: Cake and ice cream, pancakes run a close second and pasta gets honourable mention (except pasta with tomato sauce)

Favourite Books: Bone, Calvin & Hobbes, Garfield, For Better or Worse (do you see a trend?)

Favourite Games: Super Marvel Squad, Angry Birds (any variation),

Favourite Subjects: Spelling ("It's so fast!"), Bible ("That's so fast, too!"), Math, Piano

Dislikes: Work, tomatoes, cauliflower, and hot days. (Also zombies.)

What do you want to do when you grow up?

"When I grow up, I want to marry Emily and build a house or buy a house that is so nice, and buy beds or bunk beds for my kids. And also, I'd get Wii and XBox 360 and Nintendo DS."

Last week, we studied the story of Midas' golden touch. For their notebook page after, they had to write what Midas learned ("there are things more important than gold"), and what they would wish for if they had had that opportunity. This was Noah's wish:
"I would wish for all the video games in the world, except zombie and monster games."

When Noah was a baby, he was the cuddliest of all our children. He would snuggle right into the crook of your neck with his arms tucked in front of him and go to sleep. Once he became the "middle", there was less time for all those cuddles, which he seemed to handle well, but he still loves his hugs and kisses.

He is a sweet, sensitive boy, but he also likes to play rough-and-tumble--to a point. He gets excited and doesn't always know what to do with himself, which can annoy his brothers and friends somewhat.

He also loves to sing while he does his schoolwork, or listen to music. This annoys both his brothers, but especially Jabin, who would love everything to be perfectly silent while doing his work. Mommy is still working on solutions to the problem...

Noah is gifted in math and music, and although he struggles with the writing process, he has a wonderful imagination that can come up with some really great story ideas.

Noah gave us a scare a couple of months ago when he silently disappeared as we got up to leave the A&W. His boots and coat were still there, but the last I had seen him out of the corner of my eye, he was heading out into the hallway of the mall. Ten minutes of panicked searching in the bathrooms, stores of the mall, and around the outside (at -20C) had Jason and I both (mostly me, I'm sure) starting to become VERY alarmed... when we discovered that he had gone to the bathroom in the handicapped washroom, in a back hallway we didn't know existed, without bothering to tell anyone. He still forgets to communicate things like that because his mind--while fertile--works on only one row of the garden at a time. :-) Despite Jason's and my extreme, obvious concern and reiterations about how important it was to tell us (and take a Bathroom Buddy) when he does that, he still did it the next time we were in the restaurant. Things like that take constant repetition with him. I am encouraged, though, that he is finally starting to remember to excuse himself from the table after a meal... about a third of the time, anyway. :-)

Noah, we are so thankful that you are part of our family--and that we didn't lose you that day! By God's grace, you are growing into a wonderful young man. We are excited to see what the next year has in store for you, Little Big Man.

Happy birthday!

Public Service Announcement

noreply@blogger.com (Talena Winters) — Tue, 26 Feb 2013 03:18:00 +0000

Today's post is brought to you by my music blog:
Grace Notes: Putting Another Foot Forward...

Enjoy.

Superkid Begins

noreply@blogger.com (Talena Winters) — Fri, 15 Feb 2013 18:36:00 +0000

The black thing in the third frame is a power pole. :-)

The Wonder of Wire

noreply@blogger.com (Talena Winters) — Thu, 14 Feb 2013 21:52:00 +0000

Last week for History we were studying ancient Greek art and architecture. As a project to go along with it, I had the boys make a wire-frame sculpture. They did a pretty awesome job, I have to say.

Jabin's ("He looks like Junior Asparagus," I commented.):

Jude's (He ended up having to add a support and a wire for the sword. It kept "wilting."):

Noah's (like an egghead ninja!):

The Wheel of the World Keeps Turning

noreply@blogger.com (Talena Winters) — Wed, 13 Feb 2013 17:58:00 +0000

I stepped through the oversized wooden doors onto plush carpets and paused. Breathing in deeply, I savoured the smell of new paper and coffee, and listened to the muted tones of contented voices chatting comfortably on overstuffed couches. The whole atmosphere oozed calm and peace... the perfect notecard for the invitation the rows of books were giving... Come in. Sit down. Read awhile.

Next to church, the bookstore may just be one of my favourite places in the world to visit. Ever since we were married, my husband and I would consider it a good date to head in to Chapters, have our favourite dessert-like coffee treat, browse through shelves as though searching for buried treasure, and leave with a few paper-bound nuggets in a crisp plastic bag, all anticipation and excitement for the adventures that would soon be ours when we delved into their pages.

As our family expanded, this has still been a great place to visit--we all find treasures when we go. As I insist on previewing children's fiction that I have not heard of or seen reviewed, I spend more of my time in the "Young Reader's" section than anything else these days... however, for the most part, I find children's fiction just as or more enjoyable than that meant for adults, as it tends to be, um, cleaner.

On Saturday, we packed up the kids and the van and drove to Sylvan Lake to spend time with our extended family and grieve Lance's passing. It was a good time of remembering, celebrating, and visiting. By yesterday, feeling drained because of the high emotions and all the visiting, we decided to spend the day in Red Deer, just the kids and us, relaxing a little. A few errands, an hour at Chapters, and a family movie at the "cheap" theatre ("Wreck-It Ralph") was a great "family date."

Now, we are ready to head home and pick up our lives again. The memorial will not be for several months, when spring weather has arrived in Alberta.

For now, life goes on. We enjoy each moment we can. And we treasure the places and moments we find peace... like at the bookstore.

Woe is Me... or not

noreply@blogger.com (Talena Winters) — Fri, 08 Feb 2013 06:34:00 +0000

2013 has been an interesting year so far, already stock-full of misadventures and trials.

For instance, on Sunday night, my dishwasher--which has had to be cycled manually since sometime in mid-October--finally decided it was time for retirement. Wow, I sure didn't miss dishpan hands. I felt like most of my week was spent doing dishes. No wonder people used to hire servants...

Two weeks ago, late on a Friday afternoon, I was rear-ended while stopped on the highway, waiting to turn left because of a long line of traffic. Fortunately, no one was hurt--the li'l ol' lady responsible had seen me, just too late, thanks to the low-slanting rays of sun in her eyes. So, she had slowed down, just not enough to prevent a collision.

Unfortunately, the dent she gave the hatch of my van was enough to prevent it from latching. Thus, the interior lights wouldn't shut off. Thus, my battery went dead. At -27C. And killed it completely. So we replaced it so I could get the thing to town for a damage assessment, and THAT one went dead. Which I discovered 20 minutes before the chiropractor appointment that was meant to address my mild whiplash and give a professional assessment of the state of the children (who kept insisting they were fine, I just figured I'd check.)

I felt horrible about having to cancel that appointment, but there was no other option. I was rather insulted, though, when I called to reschedule, that the receptionist would not allow me to book anything before 5:30, because "we can't have that happen again." As if I cancelled on purpose. As if I'm an unreliable person. As if I hadn't fixed the problem with the battery, despite having told her I had.

By that point, nearly a week had gone by since the collision. I had been managing the pain and inflammation in my back and neck quite nicely using essential oils and a couple of massages from my husband. I decided I definitely would not go to that chiropractor, but figured it wasn't really worth it to try and see the other one in town at that point, either. We all seemed to be doing okay.

All this pales in comparison, though, to the real trial of the last month: Jason's dad had a heart attack three weeks ago. Since then, he has been sedated in the hospital, and his health has been steadily declining. Jason spent about five days down in Calgary with his family (actually, that's where he was when I was rear-ended), then came home, as there was not much to do but sit, and wait, and worry.

The doctors kept offering the hope of recovery, despite finding new problems on what seemed to be a daily basis for a while. Until today. The hard decision was made to remove life support tomorrow, and let Lance go home to Jesus.

Of all the trials of life, death of a loved one can be the hardest. Appliances and vehicles can be replaced, health can be managed, but the presence of someone important will always be missed once it is gone.

I thank all of you who have been praying, and sending words and notes of encouragement (on Facebook and otherwise)... they have been felt, and appreciated.

And we have this hope... this goodbye is only temporary. Someday, we will see him again as we worship together at the feet of Jesus.

We'll miss you, Dad. May you be at peace.

Extra Something-or-other

noreply@blogger.com (Talena Winters) — Thu, 07 Feb 2013 18:47:00 +0000

As Jabin was working on the good copy for his English writing assignment a few minutes ago, he remarked, "I need a new paper."

Jude, who was finished his morning work and was goofing off in the living room, exclaimed, "You need a new finger?!"

"NO! Paper!" Jabin corrected him. After a moment, he added, "If I had another finger, I'd be an alien!"

Hee hee.

Teapot Love

noreply@blogger.com (Talena Winters) — Sat, 02 Feb 2013 02:43:00 +0000

Look what the Stanleys gave me yesterday:

I had admired it in the catalogue at a recent Steeped Tea party they hosted. At that same party, I won the heart-shaped infuser as a doorprize.

We inaugurated it today with some Razzle Dazzle Raspberry rooibos tea. Yum.

I love the dots. And the colours. And I feel very loved. Thank you, thank you, my friends.

Make-Your-Own Superhero

noreply@blogger.com (Talena Winters) — Wed, 16 Jan 2013 15:30:00 +0000

Not sure what this boy is supposed to be... cowboy ninja? Aussie warrior? Gladiator?

Whatever. He's pretty cute, for a guy with a Nerf football mace.

ZOOM!

noreply@blogger.com (Talena Winters) — Mon, 14 Jan 2013 15:30:00 +0000

Zoom! There went December. And holidays. And 2012.

Despite the fact that we were on holidays from school from about the 8th, the month was very full. My list had several things checked off, but not as many as I liked. We got to see friends that the busy-ness of fall schedules had been keeping us from for several months. My old, second-or-third-hand oven finally bit the dust on Dec. 22, and we got a new one (which I LOVE!) And Jason got a promotion.

There is more to each of those stories, but they all seem a little too lengthy to try to cram into one post. Suffice it to say that Jason is now working as a System Analyst, a position that was handed to him within minutes of him receiving a job offer as a Project Manager for another company. The jobs were so similar as far as benefits, pay, and other things, that Jason struggled with the decision for about a week, initially thinking he would take the Project Manager job. He had no peace about it until he decided to stay with Northlands School Division as System Analyst, however, so that is what he did. We are very grateful that our belts can loosen a little, and that Jason gets to stay in a work environment he enjoys, making a wage he is happy with.

The kids were happy to start school again after our four weeks off. Last Sunday night, Jabin commented that he thought the holiday was TOO long. Didn't expect that. I could definitely have used another week, but my "to-do" list has significantly more items on it than theirs does! Especially for the last two weeks of the break, when Jason was off, too--there were a great deal of video games played during that time. It's good to know that they do see the value of structure and learning at times. :-)

My To-Do was more various forms of work, but fortunately, they were mostly ones I enjoyed:

sew
knit
write patterns
update web stores (all of them)
start newsletter mailing lists for various businesses
Plan Science for the remainder of the school year
do my books for the past year

It's the last one I have yet to tackle. I'll get to it soon. Most of the sewing was to make things like pajamas, mitts, and toques that my kids (or other family's kids) were short on. I am very much looking forward to making myself a new dress, which I purchased the fabric for a month ago and have been looking longingly at ever since.

Maybe this week...

Hitting the Mark

noreply@blogger.com (Talena Winters) — Sat, 12 Jan 2013 21:31:00 +0000

Sometimes I love the days when the kids and I are running around town doing errands. The prolonged periods in close proximity in the van with not much to do but talk and think often prompts the most interesting, and most memorable, conversations.

Yesterday was one such day. On our way into swimming lessons after lunch, Jabin pipes up, "When I grow up, I'm going to be a fighter. And my weapon is going to be a bow and arrow."

Snapping out of a reverie on my own (which was in a completely different sphere of thought--itinerary, or knitting patterns, or some such thing), I wondered where he might have gotten that from.

"Like Hawkeye?" I asked. My kids have seen the new "Avengers" movie at least five times. Hawkeye is one of their favourite characters from the show.

"Yeah, and Legolas," he replied. Now I was catching up. After our semi-annual holiday tradition of watching the entire, director's-cut Lord of the Rings trilogy (which Jabin and Noah got to participate in for the first time), Jabin had declared Legolas to be his favourite character. I guess he was still chewing on that.

I didn't want to point out the near-complete lack of reality in anyone using a bow-and-arrow for sniper or other soldierly work these days, but Jude did, instead. After some discussion amongst the boys about how archery was primarily for hunting game, and how Hawkeye's amazing arrows weren't really real, Jabin said, "Well, I can use it for hunting, and fighting. Then I can shoot a deer or a moose for my family."

"Good plan," I said, smiling. "You can make sure your family has food for the winter."

"Yep. And I think one of my kids will say he wants to be just like me!"

"I bet he will." There are definitely worse goals to have. :-)