‘Snort my shorts!’ This German drugs smuggler used his needlework skills to turn his bermuda shorts into a multi-pocketed coke carrier. He was arrested at El Prat de Llobregat airport near Barcelona with a weighty 6.6 kilograms of cocaine.

Suspect package: An image taken from next year’s ‘Mules in Pants’ 2010 calendar.

A 66 year old Chilean man was caught at Barcelona airport wearing this plaster cast on his foot made of cocaine. He believed his smelly foot would disguise the whiff of the drug

Day trippy: A coach carrying a coach-load of pensioners on a day trip to Calais was found to be also carrying a multi-million pound consignment of amphetamines

These dogs got someone life and not just Christmas- a gang of Columbian drug dealers had obviously run out of mules so they surgically implanted liquid heroin into these adorable puppies.

Sniffer dog: Rex the Labrador was also used as a ‘mule’ when he and his doggy friend had their stomachs stuffed with £126,000 worth of coke.

An x-ray of a labrador dog showing parcels of cocaine inserted between the stomach and skin lining by a vet in Colombia prior to export to Europe

Some of the 33 kilos of cocaine with a street value of £3 million that Customs officers discovered hidden wrapped in newspapers behind cans of tuna fish being carried in a lorry at Portsmouth docks.

Mexican Navy officers thought something fishy was going on when they stopped and searched a freighter carrying a shipment of frozen sharks. They discovered more than a ton of cocaine stuffed inside 30 frozen shark carcasses.

This is apparently the latest method to smuggle drugs- fill a condom with cocaine and then feed it to your pet snake….then smuggle the snake.

This 42 piece dinner service will get you completely smashed because it is made with 20 kilograms of cocaine. A 35-year-old was arrested as he received the package made up of cups, plates and bowls at his home in Barcelona.

This bundle of asparagus is (quite literally) high in vitamin K and class A cocaine.

A Harvard-educated African Prince is currently crying in his cell for attempting to smuggle £163,000 worth of coke stuffed in hollowed out onions into Heathrow airport.

Cocaine concealed in cotton reels from South Africa.

Two Air France employees and two passengers brought US Customs officers an early Christmas present when they were picked up with suitcases full of bundles of cocaine wrapped in Christmas paper.

£5 million worth of cocaine was found stuffed in two spare tyres storred under a lorry carrying animal feed at Poole ferryport.

Here, a customs officer unloads drugs from the yacht Sunset Touch in Newlyn, Cornwall.

Colombian marines examine a captured submarine used for smuggling drugs in Colombia. Colombian marines seized the submarine capable of smuggling up to 12 tons of cocaine through the Pacific to Central America.

Former cricketer Chris Lewis was hit for six when UK customs officers found him in possession of cocaine packed into tins of fruit.

Coke stuffed into a mineral water carton.

5.6 tonnes of cannabis resin worth £12 million was smuggled into the UK packed in amongst furniture and artefacts.

These guys, detained by the police in Cali, Colombia, will presumably be going away to the big henhouse for a long time.

US Customs agents in Miami found more than two tons of marijuana, hidden in a container of yams on a ship from Kingston, Jamaica.

Peru’s Anti-Drug Police examine some 4,384 kg of liquid cocaine that was found hidden in 8,000 cans of artichokes (articoke?).