Wisdom-to-share

Miss Lina, How do you enjoy your life?

2012-01-30T08:15:00.004-06:00

It was Saturday night two days before Chinese New Year 2012. I got the invitation from a good friend to have “fine dining at French Restaurant”. In my life I only had a very few time having “fine dining”, I believed not more than ten times. It was a bit awkward for me being surrounding with many forks and knifes, sometimes I made a joke about how difficult to recognize which knife can be used to cut or to kill, and it was easier for me to recognize the chopstick because they didn’t have “left or right”. Anyway my friend is a very handsome and extremely smart I couldn’t reject the opportunity to know people better, especially when the setting was in the one of the most expensive restaurant in Jakarta.

I was in a very nice restaurant with three handsome men. We talked about random topic and suddenly one of them asked me, “Miss Lina, how do you enjoy your life? “ It was like a table topic speech for me. Yes… that was really a good question for me. I don’t really like shopping; I don’t like branded stuffs, I don’t really aware with fashion and all the ladies’ hobbies to be beautiful.

It was probably hard for them to believe me. I have nothing to hide about my life. I enjoy every moment in my life. I teach every day and I become a friend for my students; I meet people from different countries. I enjoy sharing stories and I think that is what I love to do in my life and I have a big passion to do it. I see my work and my personal life is like a chocolate cake. It blended together… nothing can be separated if we want to enjoy the real chocolate cake. I put love into my work so I never think I am working… I do it with love and it becomes my happiness. Every minutes of my working time is enjoyable for me. I like to quote from Ernie Banks, “Work? I never worked a day in my life. I always loved what I was doing, had a passion for it”

And then come out a very detail question, “If you are not teaching… how you enjoy your life?” If I am not teaching, I like to write article. I think the most enjoyable moment for me if I can have a cup of coffee and to listen to light music or to share with someone about life. Once again, it is too simple.

Probably they need to ask me with multiple choice of answer. I am really a very simple person, if God gives me more time to enjoy my life; I want to repeat millions times chatting, playing and dancing with my daughters because they are the eyes of my heart. I want to build memories in the time I have. I want to enjoy the time with my husband and to write more articles.

My husband has asked me, “Do you want to buy a new house?” My answer was, “Do we need one?” My husband was curious to know more,” What do you want then?” I told my husband, “I don’t need any beautiful house because I am the one who have to take care of that. I just need you to be with me… we enjoy our time together …I want to walk hand in hand with you and I want to travel around the world and I will drink a cup coffee while you can take pictures with your camera. We will watch the music performance and we will build the memories for the rest of our life”

How do I enjoy my life? I enjoy every present, every moment and I do enjoy it. As Thich Nhat Hanh said, “Life is available only in the present moment.”

**Lina Kartasasmita** Jakarta, 30 January 2012, 8.39PM

Life is about the spirit of life

2012-01-22T09:51:00.003-06:00

If you want to accomplish the goals of your life, you have to begin with the spirit.
Oprah Winfrey

It was December 13, 2011 we arrived safely in Texas and I was so grateful for the opportunity to bring back my mom to visit United States. I wanted to share my belief about “Life is not about age, life is about the spirit of life itself”.

My mom’s last trip to United States was 22 years ago and she was 55 years old at that year. She didn’t want to visit USA again because it considered a long trip in the airplane, especially when she got older and older. She was worried about her health, her legs and there were many reasons not to go to America. I thought, maybe the biggest reason she didn’t want to be a burden for somebody during a long trip.

In July 2011, it was two days before her 76 years birthday at one o’clock in the morning, my daughter woke me up and said, “Mom … wake up… please wake up.. Something happened with grandma” My daughters always slept in my mom’s room. I jumped from my bed and rushed to my mom’s room. I tried to wake her up but there were no response from her. She was unconscious at that time. We were panic and started to call everybody to help us. I was shocked and I tried to hold my mom with my hand. I couldn’t move her at all. Finally someone helped us to carry my mom into the car and we brought her to the hospital. My daughters and I prayed and cried a long the way and I kept saying, “Mom please … wake up” She got first aid in emergency room; her sugar blood pressure was too low. The doctor said, “Thanks God, you are about on time to bring your mom here. If you are late, she would be in coma forever” The doctor’s statement tore my emotion. I prayed to God, “God, Please give her another chance… Please give me another chance to make her happy” I lost my energy… I cried and I saw my daughters and my family was in tears. My brothers came directly to the hospital. Time is a valuable thing in life and life is short. Sometimes I took time for granted so I didn’t realize I could always loose the opportunity in life. My mind went back at the moment when I lost my dad, he passed away during his trip and he came back in his coffin. The trauma was still in my mind. Now I had to see my mom was in crisis.

A couple minutes after the crisis, my mom awoke. We all were happy to see her and I promised in my heart. I would give my mom a motivation to bring her health to the maximum. I believed as Deepak Chopra said, “We are not victims of aging, sickness and death. These are part of scenery, not the seer, who is immune to any form of change. This seer is the spirit, the expression of eternal being.”

I witness many people with limited body abilities; they still can do a lot of thing in their life and most of the time because they have only a great spirit in their life. I started to set up my mom’s mind. We had a trip to Bali the next week to celebrate her birthday and I decided not to cancel the trip. I said, “Mom, you can do the trip. I will not cancel the trip”

A week after that, we went to Bali for five days and my mom could enjoy the trip. I gave her another motivation, “Mom, you can still travel to America. You can visit your grandchildren’s campus. We can go to Disney world… Let’s keep your health in the prime condition” I saw the motivation worked so well. The spirit of life took over my mom’s ages; her health was getting better and better.

I always believe in philosophy, life is about spirit not about the body. I had experiences in life when I was hospitalized and I faced surgery, I kept saying to myself, “It is okay if something happens with my body but the spirit of life should be there all the time”

I made my wish came true, I brought my mom back to visit America. I was so happy and she was happy to see her grandchildren in America. We were back to visit Disney World in Florida. She needed wheelchair to go around the Disney Park, but she made it. I was worried actually but there was always a whisper voice in my heart, “You can do it… You can do it”

The trip is a great lesson learns about the spirit of life and I agreed with James A. Garfield, “If wrinkles must be written on our brows, let them not be written upon the heart. The spirit should never grow old.”

**Lina Kartasasmita** Jakarta, January 22, 2012 at 10.46PM

A lighthouse

2011-12-04T09:55:00.002-06:00

One day my friend Lucy Rodjito posted a picture of a lighthouse in her Facebook. It was beautiful scenery of a lighthouse which stood strong on the rock and visible with a clear sea background and blue sky.

Right away it reminded me with my dad. One day my dad told me, "In your life I hope you will be like a lighthouse, you will be far away from the crowd; stand lonely by yourself, but you can lead people to reach the place safely"

It was so easy to touch my heart and to bring me back to precious moments with my dad. In my life I think my dad not only gave me a name Lina which in Greek has a meaning “a light” but also he continuously told me what I should stand for in life. He wanted me to bring the spirit of light for everyone.

He always said, “Find the meaning of your life and dedicate your life for that. You probably will walk alone in your life; you will hardly find good friends in your way. Don’t worry … keep going and you will grow stronger and stronger… you will never regret that you pass that way. You will lead people by your heart”

I experienced in my life, I learned step by step to be the lighthouse. My dad gave the meaning of my life, he had the vision of my future and I chose to dedicate my life for that. Wherever I go, I do my best to bring the light and to lead people to reach the place safely. It has been sixteen years my dad passed away. I wish I could turn the clock back and I had a chance to talk again with him. I would like to say,” Dad, hopefully I have become a lighthouse as your wish”. I wish I could hear my dad said, “Yes, you did a right thing in life”

True strength lies in submission which permits one to dedicate his life, through devotion, to something beyond himself.
Henry Miller
**Lina Kartasasmita** Jakarta, December 4, 2011, at 10.49PM

The influence of Bollywood and Disney

2011-10-29T04:55:00.002-05:00

Only a life lived for others is a life worthwhile.
Albert Einstein

One day I went to funeral house with my husband. It was unusual situation for me, because the room was decorated with purple color, in the corner of the room there was a band with four vocalists singing love song. It gave me an impression about saying goodbye with love to someone, that was a great idea and the songs actually make people facing the sadness with an easy feeling.
It brought some idea for me about my funeral one day. I rushed to my husband and children. I said, “This is my will, when I die, please cremate me without the coffin, just put me on the top of the wood logs and just like Indian movie … it looks simple and easy” My husband and my children dropped their jaws. Especially my husband, he said,” Lina, it sounds so easy for you because you don’t know anything at that moment. We can not do it for you. Please consider your Bollywood cremation style. I think you watch too much Bollywood movie”
It was probably true; I have Bollywood influence in my life. Yep… it was because I grown up with Bollywood movie. The Bollywood movies were the cheapest and longest entertainment for my mom when I was a little kid. Each movie would take at least almost three hours. My mom would enjoy her three hours sitting and enjoying the movie without thinking about her routine activities to serve her six children. I always accompanied her to the cinema and I enjoyed each dancing and singing in Bollywood movie. The strongest influence in my life was I like to dance.
My husband didn’t agree with my Bollywood cremation style… so I changed a bit. I said, “Okay if you all can not accept the Bollywood concept… How about during my funeral you have to play all Disney songs for me” This is my children’s turn, they said, “Mom, we know that you love Disney so much… Mickey, Goofy are always your friends… but please consider what people will call us... the insane children, they will ask this is funeral or Disney performance” I smiled and said,” At least you can name it Disney on Funeral… it sounds like the Disney on Ice show. “I laugh out loud.
I always love Disney… no matter my hair is not longer black… I don’t really care… I enjoy being in Disney world. I would dance and sing in Disney Park. That is probably too much influence of Disney in my life.
Actually when I die, I just want people around me, remembering me as a simple person. I came to this world without bringing anything, so I want to return back in the same way. It doesn’t matter when I die… it is really matter when I live… I can share the best of me for my family and people around me. I want my children to let me go when the time comes and they remember the happiness moments that they have spent with me in their life.
I didn’t talk again about Disney and Bollywood… but I always remind my children and my husband… Let’s build the memories in our life… Let’s enjoy the present of each other in life.

Truth is a deep kindness that teaches us to be content in our everyday life and share with the people the same happiness.
Khalil Gibran

**Lina Kartasasmita** 29 October 2011, at 4.44PM

“You are in my heart”

2011-10-27T10:23:00.001-05:00

Wednesday is always my full day of teaching, but I can not help myself that I love to teach. It was Wednesday evening and I just jumped into my car. I barely hear music in the car, cause I was busy checking my emails and SMS. I got SMS from my brother who asked me to visit one of his friends to share and to give motivation.
All of sudden my phone rang. I heard the old man voice, “Hallo Lina, Do you remember me?” I just answered,” Of course I remember you sir, we met at my parent’s house” His voice was so light and happy, “ O… you remember me, I am so happy to meet you and we had a chance to talk. Finally in my life I met someone like you. I am so happy and you are in my heart…. “The conversation was on and on for almost an hour.

I met him on Sunday, when I was about to leave my parent’s house. A 76 years old man came to the house; he was looking for his long lost friend. He is my parent’s friend. My husband told me that he was a history teacher for 35 years. He has a very keen memory about the history. When I introduced myself to him and he asked me many questions about my own experiences as teacher. I offered him a ride to go home. In the car, he asked me about Confucius concept. I said,” Confucius is the master of ethic” we involved in sharing knowledge. It was actually a very short trip. He was so happy and kept saying he was lucky to meet me. He asked my phone number and he promised to call me. I thought it probably would not happen.

My husband was a bit upset because we couldn’t go to the book store to buy a present as we planed before. I was so tired on that day. We returned home and never talked about that day again.

I was surprised when he did call me just two days after we met. He said,” Unfortunately I have to go back to Nederland; I still want you to share all your knowledge and stories. I hope I have another chance to meet you again. But I am so happy to find you and to meet you in my life” What ever he said about me, it made my day!

I reached home and I shared with my husband about that phone call. My husband said, “We didn’t go to the book shop but you made someone very happy and he will remember you in his heart. That is wonderful result” I didn’t do something special actually, I just shared a simple knowledge and simple stories with that old man. He probably has been looking for someone who could understand his need and he found it.

I just always remember my dad advice, you don’t have to be rich to give, and you can give your smile… as simple as it is.

Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.
Mark Twain

**Lina Kartasasmita** Jakarta, 27 October 2011, at 10.19 PM

My bucket list

2011-10-08T07:01:00.000-05:00

A couple years ago I watched “The Bucket list” movie, the story about two men who did their bucket list before they died. They wrote down what they really wanted to do in their life before they died. That story inspired me to write down my own bucket list. Honestly I forgot where my list is now. It is probably somewhere in my drawer, it is hard for me to memorize it but at least I can always rewrite again and again before I die.
The Bucket list movie came across my mind again when Bhavna asked the question at the end of Toastmaster meeting, “What is in the top of your bucket list?” At that moment I didn’t have time to open my rusty brain to recall my bucket list. So I answered the question spontaneously. The answer was, “I want to give a speech” Bhavna gave comment, “You can always give speeches” Yes it was probably not a special thing to do for a bucket list. I just remember when I was in the emergency room; I was in pain and suffer. My daughter told me,” Mom you can not be hospitalized today, you need to give a speech on my graduation day. Have you prepared your speech?” That statement suddenly burned my spirit; I started to tell my daughters what my speech would be. The spirit pumped blood into my brain and I just forgot my pain. My daughters started to say, “Wow mom, you are getting better because you have to give a speech”
The doctor let me go home on that day; I requested my daughters “If one day I am in the hospital again, please tell me that I need to give a speech. I believe it will heal me soon” We laughed out loud at that moment.
It was really true in my life, I want to give a speech, not only before I die, but in my daily life. I just want to make sure that in my life I have passed the blessings in my life. I want to touch people’s heart and life through my writings and speeches. I want to tell people, it has been years and years for me to learn how to accept these:

I made thousand mistakes in my life, people might forget about it, but I still kept in my minds, I couldn’t accept my weakness and my mistakes in my life. I kept thinking my life would be perfect without doing those mistakes in the past. No body perfect in this world, I just need to accept myself. It took me many years to realize I am not living in the past anymore.

I found in my life I bumped into people who liked to blame me just because I was younger and inexperienced or took my credits for what I have done. I kept asking myself “Why they did that to me? … I deserved to get my credits, that was my creation, my idea” I bind my wound by putting the good seed in my mind, “ People can take my credits or they can always blame me but they can not really have what I have” They can only steal my credit but the ability is still in my mind. I don’t have to be angry but probably I just need feel sorry for them.

It took me almost 15 years to practice how to “let it go…” Letting go many things in life, I can enjoy every moment in the present. I practiced not to live in the past and not to chase the future. Life is simple and short. I just want to pass my life with meaningful.

It is never easy for me to do it with daily basis; it takes encouragement and motivation all the time. By sharing with others, I can always remind and encourage myself to keep practicing and moving forward.

If I have to answer again about my bucket list, I probably will have the same answer.

“When we are mindful, deeply in touch with the present moment, our understanding of what is going on deepens, and we begin to be filled with acceptance, joy, peace and love.”
― Thich Nhat Hanh

**Lina Kartasasmita** Jakarta, October 8, 2011, at 6.53PM

“God loves them more”

2011-09-06T03:50:00.002-05:00

In College Station-Texas, it was a very hot day; my body refused to go outside. I stayed in the apartment. My daughters were busy with their laptop and I just watched them silently. Suddenly I was so sad; I only had a few days to stay there. I remembered my friend wrote to me, “Lina, this year you will have a total empty nest; both of your daughters will study abroad” That statement was just a reminder for me. The most important for me “how I have to face the total empty nest” I am just a human; I have worries in my minds as other people have. It has been many times I asked myself, “Are my babies okay there; do they eat right; do they sleep well… can they solve their problem? What should I do if they have problem while I am miles away from them?” Thousands of questions come from my worries.
I knew that we could set our mind to be positive or negative. And it was our privilege to choose. I learnt that worries came into our mind because we allowed them to come into our mind and we let them to control our mind. I didn’t want worries control my mind, so I decided to set my mind. It was time for me to think about the truth which could help me to build a strong mind. I claimed “I love my children so much, but what I can give to them is limited. I can not be with them all the time. Only God can give them everything in this world, because God has unlimited power and love” Wonderful statement came into my mind, and I posted in my Facebook status.
Question: How will you set your mind when your children miles away from you?
Answer: 1. I love them but God loves them more
2. I can take care of them but God takes care of them more than I do
3. I see their dreams are bigger than themselves.
This statement will be my strong reminder when worries try to break into my mind. I know I am just a human and worries are common thing in life. I just want to learn that I will not allow worries to be the master of my mind. As Mohandas Gandhi said; There is nothing that wastes the body like worry, and one who has any faith in God should be ashamed to worry about anything whatsoever. Mohandas Gandhi
**Lina Kartasasmita** Jakarta September 6, 2011 at 3.35 PM

Where have I been?

2011-09-04T09:10:00.003-05:00

It was a short Easter holiday; we were at Universal studio in Singapore. I was sitting when my husband took a picture, I was curious to see. I looked tired in that picture and I saw my wrinkles around my eyes. I looked around I saw my daughter, she is growing up now. I can not hold her with my both hand anymore, she is taller than me. I remember so clearly when the first time she went to Singapore she was six months old, so small and she was always in my embrace. Now she is going to be 18 years. The questions came into my mind, where have I been? Do I suddenly become old? The answer was in my mind. I was in that process but I passed it without my awareness. I was busy with daily life routine. From time to time, I didn't realize about myself, I was busy with my babies and served my family. Now I looked into myself I couldn't recognize myself. Sometimes I do hope to have time for myself, but my minds always drag me into my family. This is the reality we live as if we chase after tomorrow and we try to forget yesterday, but we pass the present without awareness then we miss the present. We are not belongs to this moment. The lesson is so simple and clear that we should aware of this moment at the present time. We know exactly what we have been through. Time goes by and we just suddenly feel so old.
I gave myself an advice, I should practice to be more aware of the present and to enjoy every moment which I have in life.
Do not dwell in the past; do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment. Buddha
Finished in College Station, Texas on August 22, 2011 at 2.30 pm **Lina Kartasasmita**

A message from the island of Gods

2011-08-06T07:44:00.001-05:00

Happiness can exist only in acceptance.
George Orwell

It has been 10 years ago, my last trip to the island of Gods, Bali. I couldn’t recall what happened during that time clearly but I could recall my first trip to Bali when I was five years old. I remembered when I played at the beach with my brother; I knew all stories about Tampak Siring and all the legend of temples in Bali. I fallen in love with Balinese dances and that was inspired me to let my daughters to learn Balinese dance since they were at the age of five. It seemed Bali has changed a lot during the past 10 years. I was amazed to see something that probably never changed in Balinese people’s life. They still love to pray, they still dedicate eighty percent of their time for praying and giving offerings to their Gods. They believe in karma and it leads their life from generation to generation. They accept good thing and bad thing as part of their karma.

It was a very simple message from the island of Gods. Life is more peaceful when we can accept what happens in our life because there is a reason, either we believe it is part of our Karma or God’s plan; it doesn’t matter as long as we can accept it easily.

In our life, it was so hard to accept our condition, because we think we don’t deserve bad thing happens in our life. Or we think bad condition as a curse or punishment from God. I think it is because the common concept that good life equals to good health, good fortune and prosperity. It is so difficult to just accept the condition that it is probably our Karma or God’s plan for our life. If we can easily accept everything is part of our life, we don’t need to envy other people fortune or even their misfortune in life. We can enjoy every situation as part of our blessing.

A young man said to me, “Life is a choice and life is hard” yes that is true. Life is a choice; we can choose to accept everything in a simple way.

Be willing to have it so. Acceptance of what has happened is the first step to overcoming the consequences of any misfortune.
William James

**Lina Kartasasmita** Jakarta, 6 August 2011, at 7.34 PM

My Relationship with God

2011-08-05T09:54:00.002-05:00

A simple grateful thought turned heavenwards is the most perfect prayer.
Doris Lessing

It was lunch time, I was about to put a spoon of spaghetti into my mouth, when I heard my friend asked me, “Lina have you prayed before eating?” I was almost choked. I said,” Yes I did” then the other question came, “When? I didn’t see you closed your eyes and prayed”
I only can quote from Malcolm Boyd “By my definition, prayer is consciously hanging out with God. Being with God in a deliberate way. “
It is rare for me to put myself in a right prayer position which people used to do. I have my own way to express my love and my gratitude toward God.

I am so sorry if I never kneel down on my knee to pray. It might irritate some people around me, as they know I am a Christian. They rarely see me praying in a right position which is standardized by believers. I am a very simple person and I have a very simple understanding about a relationship with God. I believe every breath I take; it is a prayer to God. I don’t need to close my eyes to see God, because God is in the eyes of my heart. I don’t have to take special time to talk with God, because I can do it anytime, any minutes and any seconds in my mind. There is no limitation in my mind to reach God.
I can see His love and His blessings in every single thing in my life. I can see His blessing in my spaghetti or my simple snacks. I can feel God’s appearance in many ways.
This is the way I express myself to God. I believe that God have a great acceptance which I hope everybody can see it through Him. Here I am. I don’t want to be a hypocrite. I know people will mislead with my point of view but I just know the relationship between human and God is a private matter.

An authentic life is the most personal form of worship. Everyday life has become my prayer.
Sarah Ban Breathnach

**Lina Kartasasmita** Jakarta, August 5, 2011 at 9.30 PM

“Happy 20th anniversary”

2011-06-21T05:04:00.000-05:00

My dearest husband Jozef,

It never crossed in my mind that I would say “Yes, I do” to you 20 years ago. We started our journey as a good friend. For me you are a simple person, you have a strong desire to achieve your dream. You are still the same man whom I have known more than 27 years ago. You have a big trust in my ability and you always give me opportunity to develop myself. You always give me room to improve myself.

I am the talkative person and you are the calmest one. I am a very expressive person and you are an introvert person. People might say; we are like Yin and Yang, or in term of accounting “debit and credit”. In our daughters’ terminology, “Dad is a book smart and Mom is a street smart”. We proved to them that we are a good team for 20 years.

I know the journey is not as simple as I write now. We argued many times, but we always had a great solution. Both of us are not a perfect person, but we always learn how to accept perfectly the imperfection in us.

Your love and trust is the most important thing in my life as your wife and the mother of our daughters. Thank you for being a great husband and good dad. I always love to say “Yes I do… I do love you and I will always do”

Happy 20th Anniversary on June 22, 2011

**Lina Kartasasmita** Jakarta, June 21, 2011 at 4.48PM

The Empty Nest

2011-05-13T23:44:00.004-05:00

I came back home early today and I saw my mom was busy taking care of her new kitchen renovation. I asked my mom whether she wanted to have lunch with me and she agreed, so I cooked for her and we enjoyed lunch together. During lunch she used to tell me all celebrities gossip or today news which she knew from the television. Sometimes I am too lazy to give any comment and I try so hard to connect with her topic on that day.
My house is side by side with my mom’s house and there is a connecting door in between. I went to my house and I turned my TV on and I was looking for my favorite TV serial, my daughter was still at school taking her exam. Suddenly the house was so empty for me. Do I really ready for the empty nest?

At that moment, I put myself on my mom’s shoes. Now, I understood how her feeling was; many times she has to be alone at home from morning to night and no one at home whom she could talk to. I will be as old as my mom one day, how come I can not bear with her topic sometimes. She just needs someone to talk to.

The journey of life is probably just like that. We come to this world alone and we will end up alone as well. The flashback memories came into my mind, I saw my mom when she was young she never stopped to serve the family, she has six children and some relative who stayed in our house. She woke up in the morning, she started her day with cooking, preparing the children to go to school and cleaning the house and that was her routine. She didn’t have time for herself. There was a time when her children grown up and left the house, then my dad passed away. She was shocked but she continued her life with a great spirit. She dedicated herself to look after her grandchildren. And there was at time when her grandchildren go to study abroad or outside the city. It seems she is always ready to see emptiness in her life.

Once my mom said to me,” I just want to hear my children, my grandchildren are healthy and in a good condition and I pray for them all the time” It was hard for her because many times none of the children called her and talked with her. I am the only one she has to be around her and I become the witness of her loneliness.

My mom doesn’t need to cook for many people right now, but she still serves the family. She always wakes up early in the morning and she will pray for her children, her grandchildren and her great grand children. She does every morning with love; she keeps serving the family by praying. I learn a lot from her, “To love is to serve”, and she doesn’t expect something in return.

In a couple months, I will have an empty nest. My youngest baby will go miles away from me. Will I be as strong as my mom? When no babies at home, no body to talk to …
I know it will never be easy for me. Through this notes I just want to share to my lovely daughters … I will walk on the same path that my mom did and one day both of my daughters will also be in the same phases of life. Now I understood better to my mom’s needs, I will do my best not to ignore her when she talks to me the same topic or gossips. I just know that simple call, simple note, simple conversation will add more spirit to my mom’s day. And this will be always my prayer “God, help me to be a better daughter for my mom and help me to be a better mom and a strong mom for my two lovely daughters”

I hope my daughters will keep this in their minds that I just want to hear both of my daughters are in good health and good condition where ever they are.

There is a real opportunity right now as parents and grandparents to come up with a plan that leaves our kids with something better than we have; that is, an opportunity to own, build, and grow a nest egg of their own.
Norm Coleman

**Lina Kartasasmita** Jakarta, May 14, 2011 at 11.06 AM

“In giving and sharing”

2011-05-12T07:19:00.000-05:00

The fact that I can plant a seed and it becomes a flower, share a bit of knowledge and it becomes another's, smile at someone and receive a smile in return, are to me continual spiritual exercises.
Leo Buscaglia

At the first time I met her, I knew that she has a wonderful personality. She has Javanese face and a very long hair. She used to work with me. The more I knew her, the more I like her simplicity in her life. When she became part of my management team, I had to mentor her to be the leader. She was worried because she was so young and inexperienced. I said,” Experience is about time. At the time you learn and walk through that phases and then you have the experiences. I started my journey from no body to be somebody. Don't make people underestimate you because of your age"
Starting that day I spent most of my time with her just only talking about philosophy of life. We discussed from the wisdom of Tao Te Ching, Confucius, Hindu, Buddhist, Muslim and Christianity. Once she asked me, "Ibu, what is the relation between the wisdom and leadership?" My answer probably was not too simple to understand, “All of this wisdom will teach you how to understand life and when you apply it in your life, you can lead by example of your own life. If you are a leader you have to remember leader means serving people, you have to be humble to be a leader. You will lead people from different background, all the wisdom has universal rules which you can apply in everyday life. You will learn how to accept and to tolerate in leadership. Leader is only a title; you don't need the title once you know how to be a leader. Leader should share and has ability to put himself or herself in other people's shoes, to lead people we have to be able to bring their best out of them. Make them following you not because of your position but make them following you because you are a good person." She listened to my explanation and she told me that she would remember that. It was my routine activities with her discuss about wisdom.
I saw her growing with a great understanding of wisdom and she applied in her life, I saw others staffs respected her as my wish. It was a time I have to go. She was so sad; she really appreciated what I have shared with her. She said she would never forget that. I said “Don’t mention it. In my life I just want to pass it on my blessing and I hope you will do the same to others “It is my happiness in life to see someone can bring their best out of them.

I believe …
“In sharing; Share your wisdom, it will make you wiser
In giving; Give yourself, it will never make you poor”

A couple days ago, one of my students posted on my Facebook wall Lina, “I truly enjoyed today's class. You have made profound changes in my life. And the wisdom and value that you have added to my life is Priceless! You are a great friend and I thank you immensely for what you have done to me!” He reminded me about all my experiences with all my staffs and my students. I hope they will pass it on whatever I have shared with them. All of that experiences are enriched my life. I called that is a value of my life.

Once we try to help people we actually help ourselves to grow, to learn and to be a better person.

Happiness... consists in giving, and in serving others.
Henry Drummond

**Lina Kartasasmita** Jakarta, 12 May 2011 at 5.25 PM

Be there and fix the problem

2011-02-17T08:13:00.001-06:00

It was Sunday morning and I was in the car with my husband on the way to visit our parents. I got a SMS, “Lina do you have time to talk? I need your help” It was not a 911 phone call of course, but I thought I had to give my time for my friend. I replied the SMS, “Sure you can call me now”
On the other line, I heard my friend’s voice. He asked me about the school information. I gave him the information which I knew. He asked my opinion about sending his child to boarding school. I thought it should be a reason for that. The reasons were common things, the child had problem at school, the child needed to learn about responsibility, discipline and as parents they thought the best way to let other people teaching their child. I probably wear different glasses about parenting in common. I challenged my friend to think over again his decision about sending his child to a boarding school. We ended up with hours of discussion.
The discussion was about what parents have to do if their children have problem at school, discipline and responsibility. I heard many times some parents would rather send their children to boarding school and they expect their children will learn while they are far away from parents. My opinion on that case, I never agree to solve the problem by sending the children far away from home. Parents need to fix the problem first and need to find out what the root of the problem is. Sending the children without fixing the problem, it is just like avoiding the problem or running away from the real problem.
During the discussion we tried to find out the root of the problem. My friend and his wife are business people, they are busy to build the business for their family but they forgot their precious asset in their life is their children. At that time, my friend’s son said to me,” It was so frustrated when my dad said he couldn’t help me with my problem” I saw that boy wanted to make his dad proud of him, but his dad only focused on his weakness and mistake. I could imagine his feeling. That was probably the real problem.
I started to give my friend an illustration about his son’s problem. I suggested him to give his son a trust and hope in the same time. He needed to encourage his son to fix the problem together and he is willing to help in many ways. This is just like in business, where my friend needs to trust people who buy stuffs from him on Credit basis. If he can trust the buyers who come to him from nowhere how about giving the same trust to his son, whom he knows him very well. If he can see every credit transaction will give him a profit, so that is the same way he has to deal with his own son. I asked my friend, “Did you ever experience your customer cheats on you?” He said,” Yep some of them” I continued that even though he has been cheated by his customers but he kept his business, because he knew there were profits. Sometimes children make us upset as parents but don’t give up with them; we have to keep giving them the trust until we see the profits.
I also share another story with him. Have you ever seen the children like to come to their parents when they broke their toys? Or small kids like to drop their toys and they will be happy when we pick the toys up for them, then they will drop it again and again and they enjoy the time.
Deeply see into this simple action, children will come to their parents because they know they can not fix their problem by themselves and they know their parents can help them to fix it. Children like to play dropping and picking up toys with their parents because they know their parents will always ready to help picking up their toys again. Children grow by learning to trust their parents. Children learn that parents are the first person who will help them. While they were toddler, we were happy to help them and played with them. We fixed their toys and we picked up their toys again and again and we enjoyed their game. Now where are we when they make mistake in their life as teenagers?
When the children mess up their life, when the children make mistakes, when they fail in their life… Are we there for them? Are we the same parents who like to sit down and to fix the toys? Are we the same parents whom the children know?
I said to my friend,” Be a better parent for your children. Be there and fix their mistake together. They will be better children for you. Spend your time with them” My friend’s wife said, “I am busy Lina, I have to help in the office” I said,” You can hire three accountants to take care of your work, but no one can replace you as a mom for your children. As parents we need to build our children character. Now only time and your love will fix the problem”
As it is written by Elle Macpherson
“Anyway, I believe you don't fix the inside by putting something on the outside”

I also believe the same thing; we can not cover our children problems by sending them away. We need to work in their mind and heart. I can give that suggestion to my friend not because I am better than them, but I just want to pass the blessing that I have in life. I have spent my time with my daughters and I would never change those experiences with anything else in the world. Children will learn from their parents how to solve their problem and they will carry on our style of parenting to their next generation. That is the most important for us as parents that we should lead our children by good example.
After months I got good news from my friend, he fixed the problem with his son and he is happy now. I am happy for him too. I know they can be good parents for their children. They just need to open their heart and mind, that money can not buy their children’s heart and love. I am blessed to have the opportunity to share with my friends and I hope I can keep passing my blessing.

Recommend to your children virtue; that alone can make them happy, not gold.
Ludwig van Beethoven

**Lina Kartasasmita**
17 February 2011 at 10.39 AM

The Frank Sinatra’s style: “MY WAY”

2011-01-30T10:13:00.002-06:00

My husband loves to send me an article; he wants to make sure that at least I know something. On that day I got email from him and there was only one short sentence and the link. He wrote " ... Interesting, we don't really practice the Chinese Mothers’ style then …” I was curious about the article and I started to read the article. The article is about the Chinese mom parenting style compare to the western mom.
According to the article, Chinese mom will not allow their kids to sleep over or party, joining the play at school, no computer game. The kids have to learn music, should be “A” student. It is probably right in general. I think I can describe the Chinese kids should be called as triple E, Excellent, Extra ordinary and maybe end up as Engineering.
Considered I am a Chinese decent, and the statement from my husband that we are not doing as a Chinese mom. I replied his email. "Yes ... I am not following a Chinese mom’s style or western mom’s style, as I like Frank Sinatra song My way ... I like to say I am Frank Sinatra mom’s style ... I did it my way."
I have to thanks my mom and dad who raised me with a great love. My parents focused on my responsibility more than my grades at school. They said,” You can always improve yourself"; it became my motto at school "next time should be better". Every time I didn't make a good grade, I told myself,” I can improve ... Next time should be better than today" I remember my dad never asked me to be “A” student; he always gave awards at the end of school year. Instead of being angry when I had a bad grade, he preferred to buy me more books. My parents always trusted me at school and I think that experience make me always love to learn, because I always know that I can improve myself through the learning process. My dad ever said to me, “I never went to school as you do right now. I don’t know how good I am if I am in your shoes. You can go to school it means you are better than me, you just need to use this opportunity that no body always has.” My dad was an autodidact person, once he knew the alphabets he learned to read all books. Knowledge is the best treasure for my dad and my mom. Knowledge is the light for the mind and soul. Based on that I didn’t want to make my dad upset with me. I took all the responsibilities and the learning process to make myself as a better person.

I shared this to my husband, in my parenting style I look at how my children take their responsibility in their life more than the result itself. I think that is the strong and great foundation for my children. I want them to enjoy the learning process in school and in life as well. Yes indeed my children don't have computer game, because I think life is a big game field. They needed to learn piano as part of practicing their concentration and coordination. One day they wanted to quit piano and I said yes for them. The purpose of learning music is only to make them learn how to practice concentration and to use music to release their emotions. I love to see them in any play at school to build their self esteem and they were really enjoying it.

I told my children that I am not a perfect mom, but I will always try to be the better mom for them. I have no experience to be a mom. One big lesson that I learnt in my life I am raising a human, a person that totally different than me. I should put love and appreciation in the right place and time. They need to know they are special and unique children. If no body is perfect, and we are also not a perfect person, why we have to ask our children to be a perfect person according to our standard. I think that is unfair situation for the children.

I always think I don’t want to judge my children with their grade at school, because it didn’t represent my children at all. I told my children, they are better than me, if I were in their shoes; I probably could not achieve their standard too. I just want them to use their maximum abilities in life. As the result they always do their best and they make me as a very proud mom.

There is never a perfect style of parenting in this world. No perfect formula to be a good mom, because each child is unique and special. Children are different and they need different way of parenting. The only thing for sure if you are parents at least you know

1. Children spell “LOVE” as “TIME”; share your time if you love them

2. A mother is the truest friend we have, when trials heavy and sudden, fall upon us; when adversity takes the place of prosperity; when friends who rejoice with us in our sunshine desert us; when trouble thickens around us, still will she cling to us, and endeavor by her kind precepts and counsels to dissipate the clouds of darkness, and cause peace to return to our hearts. ~Washington Irving

3. Stop trying to perfect your child, but keep trying to perfect your relationship with him. -Henker

One day, I was happy when my daughter wrote an essay; “I am a spoil child, not because I have everything that I want, but because my mom always showers me with love” I am right… My parenting style is a Frank Sinatra’s style “My Way”

Jakarta, 30 January 2011
**Lina Kartasasmita** at 10.44PM

Life is responsibility: “It is a choice”

2010-10-27T12:11:00.002-05:00

Every man builds his world in his own image. He has the power to choose, but no power to escape the necessity of choice.
Ayn Rand

One dinner time, I listened to my husband story. He told me about our friend who has an economic problem. His friend thought he has no ability to work hard because of many reasons; such as it was hard for him to make decision in his life. The problem is we know him very well and we were sad to see that he struggled in his life. We talked about any possibilities to help him but I couldn’t find one. In my opinion we can not help people whom he or she never realizes that he or she has an ability to work in his or her life. We all know that our friend is a very talented person. He didn’t trust himself that he has those wonderful talents to make a living. We involved into a long discussion.
I spontaneously said,” He doesn’t want to take his responsibility in his life. I enjoy working everyday” My husband didn’t agree with me, he said,” Only for you enjoy working” I said, “ My dad always says life is a responsibility, You have to take it or leave it. It is your choice. You want to enjoy working or you hate working it is all yours. You have perfect hands, feet and amazing brain. Those are you first asset and capital to make a living” My dad used to show me how disabled people could make a living and they looked happy.
I just learn in life I have the ability to work, I have talents. Those are my assets and capital inside me. First choice for me is to take the responsibility, second choice is to accept it with a joy in my heart and be thankful for my life. In life there are so many things that we can not control or change. I would rather not try to change those circumstances; the most important I always can change my attitude and my mind. Wayne Dyer said:
Be miserable. Or motivate yourself. Whatever has to be done, it's always your choice.
I remembered when I couldn’t study abroad because some reasons. I had to study in certain university and I had to take Accounting major. My dad came to me and said,” Sorry I can not give you many choices this time. I know that you don’t like this situation. Education will enrich your knowledge and you can use it in your life one day. This is your choice. Take it as your responsibility and then choice how you will accept it. If you take it with joy, you will feel that is easy. If you can not accept this, you will walk with a heavy burden in your life.”
Life is responsibility and it is a choice. I took my dad’s advice in every responsibility I take. That is true… the burden of life not because life is too hard but because we can not make a good choice to accept it.

There is no value in life except what you choose to place upon it and no happiness in any place except what you bring to it yourself.
Henry David Thoreau

**Lina Kartasasmita** 12.05AM Oct 28, 2010

“I trust you”

2010-10-25T05:26:00.000-05:00

The best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them.
Ernest Hemingway

One day, my husband and I went to meet his good friend. They were college friends when they studied abroad. We talked about random things until we ended up talking about our children’s education. We have children in the same age. We were ready to send our first daughter to go abroad for her education during that time. Our friend said that he worried to send his children to study abroad because of the culture differences and other life style issues.
I am a simple person. In my opinion if we as parents already teach our children the value of our culture, the value of our family, the rest of that we just need to trust the children. My husband asked me many times about how much I trust my children to go abroad and to live by themselves. I said I have done my part and the rest of the part will be in the children’s hand. It depends on their decision and their choice of life. We can not do anything or we can not control their future. We only can help them to see clearly their opinion about life, we can tell them how to judge something but we can not control their decision. It is about trust. I trust that I have put a right foundation in my children’s life and I have to trust them that they know what they have to do with their life.
My husband asked me, what if the children made mistakes in their life. That is common that people make mistakes and we should have a big heart to forgive them. I don’t want to fill my mind with negative thinking. I just want to be positive in life. The only thing I do in life, I keep telling myself … I trust my children and I will see them will pass all obstacles in their life with the best decision and choices.
This is my statement to my lovely daughters, “I trust you that you will make a right decision and a right choice in your life. No matter what happen in your life. You make mistakes or you are successful. You are still our daughters. We always have forgiveness for you; we will always be there for you to support and to encourage you. We love you unconditionally”
I believe as Ralph Waldo Emerson said:
Trust men and they will be true to you; treat them greatly and they will show themselves great. Ralph Waldo Emerson

**Lina Kartasasmita** at 5.16PM Oct 25, 2010

Life is Responsibility:” Me … not mommy”

2010-10-24T06:23:00.003-05:00

Life is a gift, and it offers us the privilege, opportunity, and responsibility to give something back by becoming more.
Tony Robbins

I used to keep in touch with my old friends, one day I was online on Yahoo messenger and I found one of my friends also online. I started to type “Hi” and then we had a long chatting line after that. Even we live in the same city Jakarta; we haven’t met for such a long time. My friend told me that she was busy because that was a final exam at her children’s school. She was busy to help her children to memorize and to study all subjects from Math, Science and Social studies. She found out that I never helped my children to memorize before the exam. The big question was how I did that.
The answer that I have in my life, I never taught my children or helped them to study. I just taught them “Life is responsibility and consequence” Their responsibilities in life, they need to do their best in everything, bring the best out of themselves, they have to use their talents which God have given in them. The consequence will follow after each responsibility. If they didn’t study and they fail in their exam, it is not a mother’s responsibility or others. It is their own responsibility, their own consequence. Each responsibility they take, they will also get the consequence. No one can help them except themselves.
I used to ask my daughters when they were in kinder garden school. I believe they still remember my question until now. My question was,” If you learn something, who will get smarter? If you study hard who will get the praise? “The answer would be,” Me… not mommy” As a mom I just taught them to know what the purpose of their life, the great attitude and foundation in their life. I believe “Children are empty glasses which we need to fulfill inside the glass and not to decorate the exterior of the glasses”
Some parents preferred to help their children to memorize and to study instead of prepared their children to face difficulties or obstacles in life. Parents used to see good grade as a goal. But in life, grade only represented our ability at school, at one moment in life or one subject which probably we even didn’t like it. I saw my children as blessings from God. They have their talents, their own dreams and their own life. My responsibilities as a mom are to love them, to accept and to encourage them.
If I never helped my children to study or to memorize the school subjects, what have I done for them?. That was a great question. The answer was “I am always there for them; I give them support when they need, I encourage them and I motivate them to bring out their best. I always say,” Yes, you can do it” I am there for them as a mom, a friend and a coach. “
Life is responsibility and as Jim Rohn said:
You must take personal responsibility. You cannot change the circumstances, the seasons, or the wind, but you can change yourself. That is something you have charge of.
Jim Rohn

Let the children learn to take their responsibility and let them make themselves know the purpose of their life. God has given the children talents and abilities. Our responsibility as parents just make our children can see what they have in them.

**Lina Kartasasmita** Jakarta, 24 October 2010 at 6.11PM

Email from Kuantan- Malaysia

2010-10-22T22:35:00.002-05:00

It was Tuesday morning, when I woke up and my brain was filled with my Develop your leadership seminar which I would conduct on that day. I saw my inbox, there was an email from someone whom I didn’t recognize the name. I saw the title of the email I even couldn’t guess who the sender was.
I read the email and it was written in Malay language. I couldn’t understand clearly the meaning but I really could guest that the person said “I forgot how I suddenly visit your blogs. Continue following the articles one by one, I found the articles have good meaning. Even though there were only short stories but the moral of the story could be quoted. In this opportunity I greeted you and thank you for your writings. …. (He gave comments for some of my articles … I knew that he read all my articles)
Wishing LK will always be in a good health and continuously was given the strength to write- my sincerely prayer … “The closing is Kuantan – Malaysia.
I was surprised to read that email. Someone whom I didn’t know and he was from Malaysia, reading my blogs and he put his effort to write an email for me and he sent me his sincerely prayer for my good health and my strength to keep writing. I was so happy on that day. I learnt in life, nothing comes coincident. There are always purposes behind that. I created my blogs for my daughters so they will have all my advices for them and they could lean a lot from my experiences in life. Now the blogs not only touch my daughters’ life but also touch others’ life. I hope I can always be blessed to be a blessing for others. I pray that God will always give me strength to do the right things in life so I can lead by example and God always watches over me to keep me humble and simple.
Through this article I want to say thank you for all people who read my blogs and articles. Because of you this articles bring lots of meaning in my life and others’ life.

If you want a love message to be heard, it has got to be sent out. To keep a lamp burning, we have to keep putting oil in it.
Mother Teresa
23 Oct 2010 at 10:10AM **Lina Kartasasmita**

The three powerful words,” I love you”

2010-09-22T07:49:00.000-05:00

Love has nothing to do with what you are expecting to get, it's what you are expected to give -- which is everything. -Anon.

Two years ago, I met Mr. Peter Chia. The first time I talked with him, I was amazed with his eagerness to study and his great spirit to do good things for others. It built the great connection between us. The more I know Mr. Peter Chia I can see his vision and mission clearly in my mind. He built 10 schools for poor people in Indonesia. He is not Indonesian, but he cares… he spreads his love among Indonesian people. He shared with me, his dream to see people can say three powerful words “I love you” He believes that three words have a power to change people’s attitude to be more positive.
I believe the same thing. By saying “I love you” we help the person to see that “He/ she deserves to be loved, he/ she is special, and he / she has a great thing to be proud of” Why we need to say “I love you” because people need acceptance, Love is acceptance … when there is a love there will be a great acceptance… where there is acceptance.. There will also bring forgiveness and tolerance.
When we show our love, it will be contagious to other. Saying” I love you” there is no cost at all, we just release our positive energy to help others building their positive attitude, and we help people to reflect their beauty through our eyes.
There was a day when Mr. Peter Chia and I have discussed about how difficult for people to say “I love you” to their parents, friends and others. I said” It is hard to make people do. We know good quotation, we know good benefit of doing good things, and we learn to understand the concept. But we are reluctant to apply in our life” Why? Because we can not see through our eyes … we can be a better person when we start to do it… we can not see the future with a clear vision. That is common in this world. I remember I read in one book that said” There are three types of people in this world. The first type is the people who born wise, the second type is the people who has desire to learn to be wise, and the third type is the people who just follow the wise.”
Mr. Peter Chia has a big dream to build “love” as a foundation in education and to build a positive nation. We have something in common. I also have a dream to see this nation has love, tolerance and positive attitude. I wish people around Mr. Peter Chia can see his greatest vision and mission. When we believe in ourselves; our dreams become possible. I started my dream by sharing my writings in my blogs and the most important I apply it in my family and my daily life.
Let’s do helping others to see their beauty through the reflection of our eyes. Saying” I love you” to people around you and see how it works.
“I love you all”

**Lina Kartasasmita** 7.30 AM June 18, 2010

“I have endurance Mom”

2010-09-16T20:24:00.000-05:00

It was Sunday morning; we jumped into the car early in the morning. Rushing to Jakarta International School in South Jakarta, my husband started to worry that we would be late for the 5 K Race. I was worried as well. I asked my daughter many times, “Are you okay? Are you ready for the race? I think you didn’t have enough sleep last night. Please don’t force yourself to win the race”. Devina my lovely daughter replied, “Don’t worry mom. I am fine” As parents my husband and I tried our best to be her coach on that day. Actually we just showed our concern to her health and our worries.
We made to come on time at Jakarta International School and Devina was ready at the start line. My husband with his camera was always ready to take any pictures of Devina. I was there in the start line to give support for Devina. I reminded her again not to force herself. And then the race started, many people in difference range of ages started to run. I couldn’t see Devina anymore. I started to wait near the Finish line for her. Minutes by minutes passed by, one by one people reached the finish line. I saw Devina run toward the finish line. My husband took many pictures of her; it seemed he didn’t want to miss any action of Devina. As a Mom I just wanted to be there for Devina. In my life I think my biggest role as a mom that I need to be there for my daughters to give them supports in anything they do. I need to make sure they start and finish all their responsibility in their life with good attitude.
Devina looked tired and we thought we didn’t need the result who the winner was. We were happy that Devina finished her race on that day. We went home after the race. On the way Devina got SMS from her friend that she won the first place for 5 K Race. We were happy for her and the first question that came out from me was “How could you win that race” Devina spontaneous said,” I have endurance Mom”
The answer “I have endurance, Mom” It meant a lot for me. As William Barclay said, “Endurance is not just the ability to bear a hard thing, but to turn it into glory”
I was so proud to hear that. Endurance is one of the strong characters which we should have. I believe we need endurance in facing obstacles in life. We need endurance to reach the finish line. I always remind my children to do their best in life; they need to use all talents that God has given in their life. They need to bring the best out of them. With endurance, we become a winner in any race and in any competition, because we can complete the race. Many people can stand at the start line but not all can finish the race and reach the finish line. The winner is not someone who gets the awards or the gold medal in competition. The winner is someone who can complete the competition with his/ her best ability. Life is a race and a competition within us. We don’t compete with others we compete with ourselves.
This is probably a simple story in my life, but there is a great lesson behind every simple thing. It was a time for me to let Devina go for University. She has to live miles away from me. My friends asked me how I would manage my worried. This simple story became a great encouragement for me. I know Devina has endurance in her life and it is already one great character to face obstacles in life. I believe I had done my part as a mom for her. I had put the value of life in her mind. And I pray God will always lead Devina to keep the great value in her life.
As Mom I want to be in the start line in any race of my daughters’ life and I want to wait in the finish line to see my daughters to finish the race. I want to be there for them. If I can not be there for them … at least I know that they can complete the race with the value of life which I had shared with them.

Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all Dale Carnegie

Jakarta, 12 September 2010, at 11.02 PM
**Lina Kartasasmita**

For my wife

2010-07-16T10:19:00.000-05:00

I was looking for some documents while I found a blue envelope and there is a white card inside. I didn’t remember when I got that card. I tried to recall my memories back…It worked so slowly like an old computer. I think my brain is a little bit rusty now. I took the card and started to read:

For my wife … You’re everything to me
Dearest Lina
When I look at you
I see a wife
Who’s everything a man dreams of…
Thoughtful, loving and fun
I see a mother
Who gives so much of herself,
Who knows how to make
A child feel special
But, most of all,
I see the woman I love…
The one who’s made
My life happier
Than I ever thought possible
Happy birthday March 1995
Signed by my husband

It was 15 years ago… I read that card again and again. My husband is a person who rare to show his feeling, but he always has some card that represent his feeling clearly. Reading that card brought a smile in my face. Yes indeed I am a funny person; I love to laugh out loud. I love to serve my family and take care of them. I love to make my children feel special… every time I reach home... I will run into the house and I will yell “I miss you… I love you babies” I will kiss and hug my children like crazy.

It was one of my birthday cards which I accidently found it. Sometimes we need to remind ourselves that we have a good side of our life. Every time old memories come into my mind… it was a great opportunity to count my blessings… I knew I made a lot of mistakes a long the way of my life. In the other side I believe that I make improvement in life as well. I am glad to find that card and I can see myself in that kind words.

Kind words are worth much and they cost little –Proverb

**Lina Kartasasmita** July 16, 2010 at 10.10 PM

Table topic 2: If you have only one chance to send your children…

2010-07-16T08:25:00.001-05:00

It was Tuesday, my lovely meeting day in public speaking club. Once again my friend Vine led the table topic question. The theme of the meeting on that day related to education. Vine brought the question which I thought it was a simple question but really deep in meaning. The question is “If you have only one chance to send your children to school which one you will choose between your son and your daughter”
I have two lovely daughters and I promise them that I will do my best to support them in their education. That question didn’t really relate in my case. However the question reminded me of my husband statement, one day he returned home early and he had dinner with me, he told me that he had a discussion with his friends during lunch time. His friends gave comment why we need to send our daughter to study abroad, it is not worthy at all, it costs a lot of money and at the end usually women become a mother and stay home.
Oh my goodness, I think where they have been in this emancipation era. I told my husband… Please remember when you educate a woman, you educate the nation. A mother is the first teacher for her children. The first person in this world who contact with the baby is a mother. That is the first and extremely reason to give education to women. I continue my opinion that as a mother I want to give my daughters the best education as their first heritage from me. I want them to see themselves in this world. I want them to have knowledge to teach their children one day with great value of life and great wisdom. They will not afraid to face their obstacles in this world. I care of their dream to be someone they want to be. I don’t want to keep my money in valuable things which stayed in the corner of the house. I want to see my money work to make my daughters’ dream come true… I want to fill my daughters’ mind with knowledge and wisdom. That is the great investment in the world. When people count value of money with something countable … of course they can not count the uncountable things in life.
If you have only one chance in this life… please go for your education. Learning is a lifetime process in your life… it only ends when you die.

Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere. -Chinese Proverb

**Lina Kartasasmita** July 16, 2010 at 8.21 PM

Do your best for God

2010-07-14T22:13:00.001-05:00

It was Monday July 12, 2010 early in the morning, my family and I was already in the car. We had to come to scholarship awards in my husband’s office. One of my daughters won the dependent scholarship awards and we are very proud of her. We reached the office very early and we had to wait even longer than the invitation. In a very nice room, we saw many parents with their daughters and sons. Most of them already knew each other so they blended together. My daughters and I just sat and started to chat about random things. I always cherished every moment I have with my children.
Finally after waiting almost 2 hours, there was an announcement the event would begin soon. No comment for the organizer for being late… this is Indonesia with a famous rubber watch. They started the Scholarship awards as usual with speeches. A speech from scholarship recipient was touched my heart. In his speech, he pointed out that he looked for scholarship because he wanted to see his mother’s smile; he wanted to make his mom proud of him. He gave advice for all scholarship recipients to keep making their parents proud of them.
I remembered my advice for both of my daughters many years ago while they were in elementary school. “Do your best for God not for your parents” My daughters asked me a simple question, “Why does it for God?” I explained,” People may not be happy with your achievement. Sometimes even parents put their own standard of achievement for their children. Parents put their own dream in your life and they can not support their children’s choice of life. The world has its own standard about success. Success is described as rich, wealthy and famous. Great people should be smart and excellent. But God is your creator; He gives you talents and desire in your heart, He trusts you in this world to do your best. He has a great forgiveness when you fail. Nothing can compare with God’s grace and love in this world. If you do your best for God, you put higher standard in your life. When people measure success with the money they earn and how prosper their life. You can see the success as parts of you bring out the best from you in everything you do.”
My daughters kept asking, “How do we know God proud of us?” I said,” When you feel happy after doing something and you totally know that you do it with your best ability. Perhaps the result is not as good as your expectation. But God sees the process of bringing out your best ability. God looks at you when you are struggling with problems, when you need to put aside your ego and when you have a battle in your mind to do the bad or good things. That is the value of your life”
I was sitting a bit far from my daughters; I told myself I am really proud of them. Recognition from people around us are important to build our children’s confidence, however the most important is to let them know that great achievement in their life is not to make people around them Happy, but to make sure that they are happy because they do the right and good thing in their life.

A great secret of success is to go through life as a man who never gets used up.
Albert Schweitzer French philosopher & physician (1875 - 1965)
**Lina Kartasasmita** Jakarta, July 15, 2010 at 8.19 AM

My name is Lina and I am just a simple person

2010-07-10T08:23:00.001-05:00

It is totally hard for me when one of my best friends said to me,”Lina you have a potential to be a bad person with all you have, you have confidence, you are a risk taker, and you are brave…” I was shocked to hear that. What is wrong to have a great confidence? What is wrong if I am brave enough to take a risk? Then the next question was, “Do you think you can be like someone like that?” I couldn’t answer it spontaneously.
I answered that question,” I don’t think so; I had a father who raise me with a great value of life and he taught me well. And I have a wonderful mom who kept that value in me” My father came from a poor family; he had no chance to go to school. My mom just graduated from elementary school. For my parent the entire world is their classroom. They learned from their experiences, from no one to become someone. From mistakes to mistakes they built their character, their value of life, their world of wisdom. They made mistakes many times in their life but they kept themselves to move on. They taught me a lot of things which no school could even teach me. They taught me to be honest, to take responsibility, to make decision, to care for others, and more than I can share in this short note. There is nothing perfect in this world as my dad’s statement. I am not a perfect person; I am a combination of great value of my family and my education background. It combined together to create me and a long the way I learn to apply simple things to reach my understanding of wisdom.
My friend kept his opinion on me, he said” The way you speak and stand in front of people … show that you are different” I asked him back, “Is that something wrong to be different? I don’t mean to shine myself in front of people. I do everything with my best ability and if it comes out with a great appreciation from others, it is not my fault. I don’t compete with people around me; I don’t want to show off. I just do what I can do. When I write; I do it with my heart, when I speak I just want to share. One of my friends wrote in his book; don’t be a teacher if you don’t like to share. This world is my classroom which I can learn from others and I can share my experiences to others.”
In my life … while I am walking among people… I never think I want to be a star. I never chase popularity in my life. I just want be me as me and I want people to accept me as I am. I probably have potential to do great things in bad or good way, but I just want to do simple thing in a great way. I want people to remember me as a simple person.
I am just a simple person and in my life I have a simple wish that I want to share something small and something simple as part of leaning wisdom. The entire world is my classroom. Everything I do… It is a prayer to God that I am blessed to be a blessing for others. Why is too hard to see that? Maybe it is too simple to believe and to accept.
As Confucius said, “Life is really simple, but men insist on making it complicated “

Nothing is simpler than greatness; indeed, to be simple is to be great. -Ralph Waldo Emerson

Lina Kartasasmita
Jakarta, July 10, 2010 at 8.20 PM