Are you aware that in a supermarket, there are intense marketing strategies at work to encourage you to spend lots of money there?  If you learn the strategy, you can stick with your food budget more easily. 

 
Before you read on, it might also be of great value to explain to your children that the ads they see on television are about making money, and don’t necessarily have their best interests at heart.  Those prepared foods might be tempting, but they aren’t the most nutritional or cost effective.  This could avoid scenes inside the supermarket if they understand your approach up front.

 
Here are some basic ideas that will help you stretch your food budget dollars.

 
Make it at home.  Pre-made foods are more expensive than those you make at home.
Eat it fresh.  Fresh fruits and vegetables are less expensive and more nutritional than canned or frozen ones.
Grow it yourself if you can.  This is by far the most cost effective.  You can freeze the excess.
Look on the lower shelves.  Higher priced items are right in front of your face.  Generics are on the lower shelves, and they cost less.
End cap displays are necessarily cheaper.  They are there to tempt you. Stick with your list.
Shop the Center Aisles first.  They contain the essentials.  The outside aisles are tempting but not necessarily essential.
Discuss with your kids before you go inside the store.  Let them know that you will not be buying things off the list.  Ask them what they want to be put on the list and see if it fits your budget.  Products with kids appeal are displayed at their eye level and it can create hissy fits unless you set the rules ahead of time.
Ignore the smells.  Those cinnamon rolls make you drool, but you can make them yourself at home less expensively.
At the check stand, you are again bombarded with things you don’t really need.  Be strong, and stick with your list.
 

It’s wise to sit down with your children and as part of their learning, educate them on the wisdom of eating fresh vs. prepared foods.  Once in a while as a special treat, let them have something prepared.  Let them help you make out the list each week.  What would they enjoy for lunch? What would they like for dinner?  Their participation will eliminate in-store acting out.  When they become a little older, you can give them the budget monies, a calculator, the list, and let them do the shopping for you while you wait.  It will help them become good, value-hunting shoppers, too.

I am excited to announce that I did my first television news interview this past Friday morning!  Please check it out and let me know what you think!  Here is the link to watch the interview!

http://www.fox8.com/video/?autoStart=true&topVideoCatNo=default&clipId=3860039

Len

 
You need a good attorney yourself. If you are in a weakened emotional state, you won’t be able to see the tricks coming at you due to your subjectivity. You need a support team on your side who can remain objective and serve your best interests and more importantly, serve the interest of your children. So hire a good divorce attorney who has a good reputation for fairness and good standing for his clients.

 
There are many articles in circulation that will tell you what those tricks are. Please go find and read those articles on the internet and inform yourself of some of the things that could happen. This article is not about that. This article is about your vulnerability and becoming stronger for yourself and your children.

 
When you are vulnerable and under emotional duress, your ex may try to take advantage of you. You will need a strong support team. I don’t mean a girlfriend who agrees with you. I’m talking about a mentor who can guide you through these vulnerable times so that you are not taken advantage of. Please find someone with some experience in life who has some wisdom and who cares enough about you to teach you what is happening from an objective perspective and can help you side step the so-called land mines.

 
There are things that you deserve according to the law. Your divorce attorney will know what they are. But it wouldn’t hurt you one bit to do some research on the internet to know what your rights are yourself. Your attorney sees you as one of many clients and he or she is human. They might miss a detail. If you know what those details about your entitlements are, you can ask your attorney “What about this?” as a reminder to be sure nothing that you deserve by law is missed. Being informed is being armed.

 
When you have court documents that specify what the agreements are to be, stick with them. It’s a form of vulnerability to believe an ex who says “I know what the papers say, but I’m willing to do x. “ If he’s willing to do x, let him put it into the court documents. Don’t deviate from what the court has decreed. 

 
If you have a tendency toward naïveté, work to correct this. The only way to not be naïve is to be informed. Learn all you can about the subject at hand. Consult with your Divorce attorney. Don’t agree to anything with your ex without this consult, particularly if you’re naïve. You need the assistance of your divorce attorney’s protection until you grow stronger yourself. If you’ve suffered emotional trauma that has left you feeling vulnerable and vindictive – someone who might feel tempted to resort to dirty divorce tricks - you will need a strong skill set, a lot of knowledge, professional support but mainly, internal courage to face your ex down and get what you deserve by law. Don’t become a divorce horror story statistic.

I am so excited to announce that my book tour is beginning!  I will be doing my very first book signing on June 13th at 1:00 pm at the Barnes and Noble Bookstore in Fairlawn, Ohio!  If you are in the area and would like to stop in I would love to see you!

Also, I will be doing an interview on Fox 8 news in Cleveland, Ohio on Friday June 12th in the morning!  Tune in!

I look forward to meeting some of you or all of you, soon!!

Len

 
In many therapies, there is a differentiation between what is the trigger for a specific emotion and what is the source.  I think that when it comes to raising kids, their behavior (or the lack of it) is the trigger, and our own doubts and fears is the actual source. Let’s look at some situations that seemingly trigger angry outbursts from us to our children and let’s work to discover what the underlying fears might be.

 
You become angry when your children don’t obey you, or when they fall short of what you expect from them.  You become frustrated.  This is because you don’t know enough about how to effectively manage their behavior.  Pre-school teachers and grade school teachers have learned these skills and thus don’t experience the anger you do.  You need to take some parenting classes; read parenting books; join parenting groups.

 
Adults who understanding behavior management in children know that there must be consequences for errant behavior.  It is most helpful if you will arrive at the decision you frequently arrive at currently after idle threats:  you REALLY MEAN what you say.  It is this determination that you mean what you say that communicates over to your child and they quickly learn not to avoid your wishes, wants and desires.  If you couple “meaning” along with “consequences” your child will be well served through this determination.

 
As your days roll along, please consider if you are getting angry due to any of these reasons:
You feel you have no freedom in your life because you have children
Your kids are tapping you out financially and you’re frustrated because you feel trapped in your job
Long days are wearing you down physically
You have a sense of “I don’t want to deal with it now”
Your kids whine to get your attention
Your kids tug at you because you aren’t listening to them
Your kids fight among themselves
 

You must seek help to find a way to deal with these things.  A therapist might be just the ticket.  Your parents may have good advice.  Perhaps a minister could help.  Whatever it is, don’t allow your anger over these things to continuously spill over at your children. You need professional, or at a minimum, mature help to find a better way if you identified with any of the items on the above list. Listen to music away from the kids.  Take some deep breaths.  Call a friend.  Then spend a few moments reconnecting with your child.  Don’t let the anger get between you.  He deserves your loving communication and so do you.