Wisdom on the Way

Coping With Job Stress--Do You Have a Gas Tank or Solar Panels?

2016-06-06T11:51:00.000-07:00

By Randy Moraitis, MA, CIP, BCPC

Job stress is both a real and a growing problem. Current research shows that 30% of U.S. workers are often or always under a lot of stress at work.

People who have a high level of occupational stress have up to three times the rate of back pain--usually lower back pain. Research also shows that high job stress doubles the risk of death from heart disease and was associated with increased cholesterol and body mass index. So it's a big problem affecting millions of people and needs a solution.

One way to help combat job stress and prevent burnout is to do some perspective shifting, so let's give it a try.

Start by making a decision about whether you have a gas tank or you have solar panels.

Gas Tank Mindset

Imagine a person goes to work tomorrow and has a very busy day. They start the day dealing with their first task, it's challenging but they succeed. This burns a little fuel from gas tank. As the day progresses they deal with multiple issues, problems and tasks, each draining more fuel from their tank.

By the end of the long, hard work day they've completed all of their tasks and duties, but now their gas tank is empty and they're exhausted. So they go home to their family exhausted.

Solar Panel Mindset

The second option is to imagine a person going to the same workplace. They also start the day dealing with challenging tasks and duties. And they continue to have challenging tasks throughout the day. But they have the perspective that they are blessed to have a job, and privileged to have skills and talents, that can contribute to helping others and making a difference in someone else's life.

In that moment where they focus on the privilege of connecting with others and making a difference, the thought radiates on their solar panels and they feel charged. They carry this perspective throughout the day and by the end of the work day they may be physically tired but their soul feels charged. And that's what they take home to their family.

So you decide. Do you have a gas tank or solar panels?

I would love to hear your thoughts or experiences with job stress. Email me at randy@randymoraitis.com. Websites: www.randymoraitis.com and www.carepossible.org.

5 Keys to Making Changes That Last

2016-06-01T07:30:00.000-07:00

By Randy Moraitis, MA, CIP, BCPC

As a coach, counselor and interventionist I am extremely passionate about helping my clients have long term, healthy change in their behaviors and their lifestyles. So many folks have tried unsuccessfully to lose weight, quit smoking, stop abusing drugs or alcohol, or other unhealthy behaviors. Some have short term success but very few have long term success.

Here are Five Keys to Making Changes That Last that I use with my clients and encourage you to use in your life.

1. Realistic Expectations--The first key to making changes that last is to have realistic expectations or goals. If we set unrealistic, unattainable goals, then we set ourselves up for failure, disappointment and eventually giving up.

It's much better to set ourselves up for success by using SMART Goals. Smart Goals are specific, measurable, attainable, relevant and timely. Click here for more info on how to set SMART Goals.

If we keep it real, then we can make it happen!

2. Internal Motivation--Motivation is the activation of goal oriented behavior and is either intrinsic (internal-coming from inside) or extrinsic (external--coming from outside).

Doing an intervention is a form of external motivation that can help save someone's life when drug or alcohol use is out of control. But for lasting change, at some point the person will need to find some internal motivation. This is because intrinsic, or internal, motivation is much more powerful for lasting behavioral change.

For optimal internal motivation towards achieving a healthy goal one must truly value the benefit of the goal or lifestyle change, have self-confidence in the ability to achieve the goal, and be in the appropriate social setting for achieving the goal.

To value the goal it can be helpful to write out lists or reasons why the goal is important to you. It can also be very helpful to visualize achieving the goal.

To increase self-confidence it can be helpful to have a coach, counselor or sponsor on board to help give tools and encouragement that continually build self-confidence.

To maintain a healthy social setting we must remove triggers from our environment. This may even mean entering a treatment program for a more structured, healthy environment for a period of time. It also means having good stimulus control which is removing unhealthy triggers (such as foods, drugs, alcohol) from the environment.

3. Core Skills--These are the skills needed to help you make changes that last. It's not about willpower, which can often fail us, especially if we get too hungry, angry, lonely or tired (HALT).

Core skills include the abilities to honestly observe and evaluate ourselves, then react and respond accordingly. For example, giving ourselves a form of reward or punishment based on how well we're sticking to our goal plan.

Core skills also include daily disciplines, stress coping strategies and self care. As a coach I emphasize these skills in every session with my clients!

4. Action Plans--The action plan includes all the elements of the SMART Goals--that we have a specific, measurable, attainable, relevant and timely goal in place. The action plan has a start date, a deadline, and a list of resources needed for success.

The action plan should also include regular assessments and consultations with one's coach, counselor, and/or physician. Ironically, having structure can actually give us freedom from unhealthy impulses.

5. Social Support--Who's in your tribe? Jim Rohn once said, "We become the average of the five people we spend the most time with". To make lasting change we need to set boundaries with unhealthy influences in our life. This may mean terminating unhealthy relationships and deleting contacts from our phone. If you want a new, healthy life, then you will need some new, healthy friends!

When you assess and change your social circle, it is important to let your circle know about your new goals and values so they can support you on your journey to success. Healthy lives happen in healthy community!

So there you have it--the Five Keys to Making Lasting Change--Realistic Expectations, Internal Motivation, Core Skills, Action Plans, and Social Support. Put these keys into action and they will unlock the healthy lifestyle that will help you be the very best version of yourself!

I would love to hear your thoughts on this topic!

For info on counseling, coaching or interventions please contact me at randy@randymoraitis.com or visit my websites www.randymoraitis.com and www.carepossible.org.

8 Strategies for Coping with Stress

2016-04-25T15:37:00.001-07:00

By Randy Moraitis, MA, CIP, BCPC

Everyone experiences stress to some level on a daily basis. Stress is when the outside world gets inside of us. Not all stress is bad, in fact some stress may actually be good. A little bit of stress—just the right amount—can actually help improve our performance.

Stress is the biological, psychological, emotional, behavioral, and social responses to a stressor, which is the real or imagined event that sets things off. To thrive in life we need effective strategies to cope with stress.

We all have different ways of coping with stress. One way to measure coping is to use the Ways of Coping Questionnaire, developed by psychological researchers Folkman and Lazarus. This 66 item questionnaire divides coping into eight different categories or strategies.

Here are the 8 strategies, further divided into active and passive methods of coping:

4 Active Coping Strategies

Confrontive coping: You take action and confront the problem.
Seeking social support: You seek informational and emotional support. An extremely effective strategy.
Planful problem-solving: You make a deliberate and analytical plan to solve the problem. Also an extremely effective strategy.
Positive reappraisal: You try to create a positive meaning and focus on personal growth.

4 Passive Coping Strategies

Distancing: You expect that the problem solves itself (involves detachment). This is the second to least effective strategy.
Self-controlling: You make efforts to regulate feelings and actions.
Accepting responsibility: You accept your own role in the problem.
Escape-avoidance: You try to avoid the problem by wishful thinking and behavioral efforts. This is the least effective strategy.

Big Question

Which is your go-to strategy for coping with stress?

Big Takeaway

The best strategies for coping with stress are seeking social support and planful problem-solving. So the next time you feel stressed-out, reach out to healthy community for support and/or sit down and think through an analytical plan to tackle the problem.

In addition to social support and planful problem-solving, I am a big fan of prayer, meditation and exercise for stress management. If you aren't already incorporating these tools into your life, perhaps now is the time to start!

I would love to hear your favorite strategy for coping with stress. Email me at randy@randymoraitis.com or visit my websites www.randymoraitis.com or www.carepossible.org.

Daily Top 3

2016-04-05T14:02:00.000-07:00

By Randy Moraitis, MA, CIP, BCPC

My job as a coach and a counselor is to help my clients live more focused and healthier lives. We can get so busy with work, relationships and responsibilities that we can easily lose focus and feel frustrated.

One tool that I teach my clients (and do myself) is the Daily Top 3 List. Done consistently, this tool can lead to increased focus, success, and happiness.

There are two parts to the Daily Top 3 List--it is actually two separate top 3 lists. One is a task list and the other is a gratitude list.

Top 3 Tasks

Let's look at the task list first. Have you ever written out a long to-do list then get stressed out about all the things you have to do? I have. Or do you have long to-do lists where you never finished crossing off all the tasks on the list? I do.

Long to-do lists really only serve to increase our anxiety so stop using them today! Instead carefully think through what are the top 3 most important tasks for you to complete each day that will keep you moving towards your main goals and priorities in life.

Imagine it is the end of the day and you're laying your head on your pillow. What are the top 3 tasks you would need to have accomplished to feel successful about your day so you can relax and get a good night's sleep? These are the items that must be on your daily top 3 tasks list. Write them down then do them!

Top 3 Gratitudes

The second part of the Daily Top 3 List is a gratitude list. Research is clear that when we live with an attitude of gratitude we are less stressed, less depressed and have happier relationships. Research also shows that cardiac patients who kept gratitude journals showed improvements in their heart health.

Gratitude is good for mind, body and spirit. With all the busyness in our lives and the craziness in the world we can lose sight of living in gratitude, so we must be intentional about gratitude.

Every morning stop to write down the 3 things for which you are most grateful. It could be family, friends, health--whatever you are truly grateful for--write them down. (And unlike the daily task list, you are welcome to write down more than 3 items on your gratitude list.)

Your Next Step

There you have it--to live a healthier, happier and more focused life, take a few moments every morning to write out your top 3 tasks of the day and your top 3 gratitudes of the day.

I hope this coaching tip helps you move towards becoming the very best version of you!

I would love to hear from you. You can email me at randy@randymoraitis.com. Check out my coaching/counseling/intervention website www.randymoraitis.com.

HALT for Recovery and Wellness

2016-03-15T10:25:00.000-07:00

By Randy Moraitis, MA, CIP, BCPC

If you or a loved one are affected by any mental health, addiction or eating disorder issue then I encourage you to use HALT as an easy-to-remember tool for staying healthy.

HALT is an acronym that stands for:

It's wise to avoid getting too Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired because when we do, any underlying issues (such as anxiety, depression, bipolar disorder, addiction, eating disorder, etc.) can be negatively impacted.

HUNGRY--have you seen those Snickers commercials where Marcia of The Brady Bunch turns into Machete because she's too hungry (hangry)? It is both funny and true!

While I'm not recommending a candy bar, I do recommend that you keep healthy snacks with you throughout the day such as almonds, protein bars, or fruit. When your blood sugar drops your brain stops working at an optimal level and that means a bad decision or bad mood could easily happen. Keep your mind and body fueled for peak performance!

ANGRY--I love this quote from Thomas Jefferson: "When angry count to ten before you speak, if very angry count to one hundred." Great advice here! Give it a try when you get angry.

Four Square Breathing is another great tool to use when you feel angry. It can help you calm down and regain focus so you do not make any bad choices. Here is a link to easily learn how to do four square breathing.

LONELY--Human beings need healthy community, healthy companionship. There is a great body of research proving that isolation has numerous negative side effects even causing cancer.

There is a very wise quote which says, "Two are better than one..." (Ecc 4:9). This is so true!

If you find yourself isolating--reach out to a friend, family member, or neighbor. Or join a club, group or activity that connects you to others.

If you know of someone that is isolating, reach out to they. They may need you more than you know.

TIRED--Being tired is bad for our health and can lead us to make bad decisions. Have you ever said anything that you didn't really mean because you were too tired? Or have you ever failed to have a peak performance because you were too tired?

Research clearly shows that we need 7-8 hours of sleep per night to be at our best. I encourage you to have some discipline with this--turn off the TV and put down the phone or iPad early enough for you to get a good night's rest. Don't sleep with your phone right by your head--the light interferes with your sleep.

If you have trouble falling asleep, try the following:

Be sure to limit caffeine during the day--especially later in the day.
Try relaxation and visualization exercises to help induce sleep.
Use a sound machine or app to create a calm, soothing environment.

So give HALT a try. If you apply the concept on a daily basis you just might find yourself having a much healthier and happier life.

I would love to hear your thoughts on this topic. You can email me at randy@randymoraitis.com.

Websites: www.randymoraitis.com and www.carepossible.org

Treatment For Opioid Addiction

2016-01-19T07:19:00.000-08:00

By Randy Moraitis, MA, CIP, BCPC

In my last blog post entitled "10 Facts About Opioids" I shared that according to the Centers for Disease Control (CDC) the United States is in the midst of a prescription painkiller overdose epidemic and discussed important facts about opioids such as heroin, vicodin, etc.

This post will follow up on our look at opioids with a discussion of treatment options for opioid abuse and addiction.

Treating Opioid Overdose
Currently there are some very effective drugs for opioid overdose. If someone overdoses on opioids and is barely breathing and close to death, an opioid antagonist such as naloxone, can be administered. This can provide immediate relief because it blocks the opioids from binding to the receptors in the brain.

Thankfully, more and more first responders, as well as citizens, have been trained in the use of naloxone and this has led to saving many lives.

Treating Opioid Addiction
The first step to treating opioid addiction is detoxification (detox). Detox is extremely challenging because opioid users experience such intense withdrawal symptoms when they quit taking the drug.

I have seen this first hand numerous times while helping addicts get clean. I even once had an individual do their entire detox in my home without medication as they had no other treatment options. It can get messy and ugly!

Users encounter severe withdrawal symptoms that mirror the opposite effects of the drug. Instead of feeling euphoric, the user is extremely depressed. Instead of pain relief, users experience many aches and pains. Instead of constipation, users have diarrhea and other flu-like symptoms.

It is common to treat opioid addiction by administering a slower, longer acting opioid, such as methadone instead. Methadone maintenance is the most common treatment for heroin addiction and it has had significant success. One study showed that 80 percent of people who stick with a methadone maintenance program for one year end up abstinent from heroin for one to three years afterwards. By contrast, only 12 percent of people who drop out of methadone maintenance stay abstinent that long.

Other opioids are also regularly used in the treatment of heroin addiction. In fact, heroin itself is used in the treatment of heroin addiction in a number of countries. The idea is to give users a lower, but stable, prescription dose of heroin without all the risks associated with obtaining and using heroin on the street. Not surprisingly, heroin addicts are more likely to stick with a heroin maintenance program compared with a methadone maintenance program, and perhaps as a result, they’re less likely to use illegal drugs.

Other opioid drugs are frequently used in treating opioid addiction. Of course, this is very controversial as this is simply substituting one addiction for another.

Another common approach to treatment is to remove any reward associated with relapse. This is done by having the patient take an opioid antagonist such as naltrexone which blocks the rewarding effects of the opioids. This treatment works well with individuals highly motivated to quit who continue taking the naltrexone, but a problem arises when an individual gets very strong cravings and stops using the naltrexone.

In addition to pharmacological treatments, it can be most helpful if opioid addicts also receive cognitive behavioral therapy where they are trained to recognize and avoid their triggers for drug use.

It is also very helpful for the addict to receive counseling and coaching to move forward with a healthier life, and to be in a healthy supportive community which may include 12 step groups like Narcotics Anonymous or Lifelines.

Finding freedom from opioid addiction is very difficult, but it can be done with effective treatment, as well as healthy community and support in the life of the addict. If you have a loved one struggling with an opioid addiction, do not give up on them. Do all you can to get them into treatment, perhaps even an intervention, as it just may save their life!

For more information or to take the first step in getting a loved one help call 949-303-8264 or email randy@carepossible.org.

Websites: www.carepossible.org and www.randymoraitis.com

10 Facts About Opioids

2015-12-14T07:44:00.000-08:00

By Randy Moraitis, MA, CIP, BCPC

According to the Centers for Disease Control (CDC) the United States is in the midst of a prescription painkiller overdose epidemic. The most commonly abused opioids are:

Hydrocodone (e.g., Vicodin)
Oxycodone (e.g., OxyContin)
Oxymorphone (e.g., Opana)
Methadone (especially when prescribed for pain)

Frequently, when an individual no longer has access to prescription opioids, they turn to heroin which is both affordable and easy to acquire.

Presented here, with the goal of increasing awareness, are some basic facts about opioids.

1. Opium is the latex secreted from the seedpod of an opium poppy. Raw opium contains about 10 percent morphine and about 2 percent codeine. These are the opiate drugs, which just means that they’re natural products of the opium poppy. A number of other drugs, including heroin, are not contained in opium itself but are made from natural opiates or have very similar effects. These are sometimes called opioids.

2. The opiate drug morphine is among the most effective painkillers available today. Codeine has similar effects but is weaker than morphine. It’s often used to treat minor pain and as a cough suppressant. Of course, opium and drugs derived from opium are also often used recreationally, because they can produce a dreamlike, euphoric state.

3. People have known about those effects for a very long time. In fact, there’s evidence that the Sumerians knew about the psychoactive properties of the opium poppy plant as early as 3400 B.C. The Ancient Egyptians used opium medicinally. In the 1700s and 1800s, a mixture of alcohol and opium called laudanum became very popular and was widely used as a pain reliever, as a sleep aid, and to treat a variety of ailments. In the mid-1800s opium trade became a big business and even led to two wars, known as the opium wars, between the British and the Chinese.

4. In 1804, a German pharmacist isolated a pure alkaloid from opium and gave it the name morphine, after Morpheus, the Greek god of dreams. Morphine was more potent than opium or laudanum, and it became an invaluable tool to doctors in the treatment of pain. Morphine was administered to injured soldiers during the American Civil War.

5. In 1898, Bayer pharmaceutical company began selling a synthesized opioid that was one-and-a-half to two times more powerful than morphine, and it was marketed as a nonaddictive morphine substitute and cough suppressant—heroin. Bayer sold heroin for more than 10 years before its harmful effects were recognized and it was removed from the market. Heroin is now recognized to be among the most addictive drugs in the world.

6. Opioids are narcotic analgesics, which reduce pain without eliminating sensation. They’re distinguished from anesthetics, which reduce all sensation and often produce unconsciousness. Opioids also produce a dreamlike, euphoric state, which is what makes them attractive to recreational drug users, at least initially.

7. At higher doses, opioids produce a rush of euphoria. But the nauseating effects can become more severe, and some people also experience anxiety and restlessness. The most dangerous effect is a significant suppression of breathing. In fact, in an opioid overdose breathing can be suppressed enough to lead to death.

8. About 45 people in the United States die every day from overdosing on a prescription painkiller—that’s more than the number of overdose deaths from heroin and cocaine combined.

9. Similar to other drugs, opioids overstimulate the brain’s reward circuit and trigger a large release of dopamine. The brain interprets that dopamine as a reward prediction error, or an indication that taking the drug was better than expected. That reward prediction error in turn backs up to environmental cues that are associated with drug taking, so when the user encounters those cues in the future, he or she experiences a very strong craving to use the drug.

10. There are some very effective treatments for opioid overdose. If a drug user overdoses on opioids, is barely breathing, and is close to death, if someone administers an opioid antagonist drug, such as naloxone, the drug user will recover almost immediately, because the opioid will be blocked from binding to the opioid receptors.

If you have any prescription opioids in your home, be sure to keep them stored securely so any guests or visitors to your home will not be able to access them as these meds are frequently stolen.

In my next blog post we will look at treatment for opioid addiction. Special thanks to Professor Thad Polk of the University of Michigan for contributions to this blog.

If you or a loved one are affected by an opioid addiction, please contact me at randy@randymoraitis.com to discuss options for healing.

You can visit my websites at www.randymoraitis.com and www.carepossible.org.

Top Ten Differences Between Life Coaching and Therapy

2015-11-30T07:02:00.000-08:00

By Randy Moraitis, MA, CIP, BCPC

Newsweek Magazine once said about coaches that "They're part therapist, part consultant--and they sure know how to succeed in business". While there is truth to this statement, many important differences do exist between coaching and therapy.

Here are the Top Ten Differences Between Life Coaching and Therapy:

1. Coaching is about achievement; therapy is about healing.

If you want to set and achieve goals to move you forward in life, then you need a coach. If you have past hurts that you have not yet processed through, then you need a therapist.

2. Coaching is about action; therapy is about understanding.

I recently had a client say that she got more out of one coaching session than months spent with a therapist and a psychologist. This may be due to the fact that I assessed her current situation, then gave her specific action steps to move her towards healthier behaviors, and held her accountable to take the action steps.

3. Coaching is about transformation; therapy is about change.

A good coach seeks to guide the client through a transformation in one or more areas of life including career, relationships, emotional wellness, finances, addiction recovery, spiritual life, and physical health and wellness.

4. Coaching is about momentum; therapy is about safety.

Every coaching session should result in specific action steps to move the client closer towards their goals. A momentum is then developed that keeps the client progressing towards the results they seek.

5. Coaching is about intuition; therapy is about feelings.

A coach is more interested in your behavioral choices than your feelings. A good coach will sense how to inspire and motivate you to be the best version of you.

6. Coaching is about joy; therapy is about happiness.

Joy is internal and may derive from one's beliefs and accomplishments. Happiness is external, future oriented, and can rely on outside situations, events, or people. Coaches often find that their clients have profound joy from their new way of thinking and the goals they have accomplished.

7. Coaching is about performance, therapy is about progress.

The coaching relationship is typically much shorter than the therapy relationship and during this time the coach seeks to motivate peak performance from the client.

Often the coach's job is to guide their client to a win. For example, I recently coached the director of a large organization through the termination of a toxic employee. The client said hiring a coach was "the best money the organization ever spent". The client was guided through performing a difficult task the best way possible. The client had a peak performance, and now the entire organization is performing better.

8. Coaching is about synchronicity; therapy is about timing.

In the initial coaching sessions an assessment is performed on various aspects of the client's life to not only assess current satisfaction levels, but also look for patterns. Later coaching sessions may assess the client's values, past experiences, and talents or gifting to determine whether there is a common thread or possible synchronicity.

9. Coaching is about attraction; therapy is about protection.

Coaching leads clients into new ways of thinking and behaving that result in the achievement of goals and success.

Some individuals are not quite ready for coaching. They may need to seek treatment from a therapist to build a strong and healthy foundation where they can protect themselves emotionally before working with a coach.

10. Coaching is about creating; therapy is about resolving.

Coaching is about creating a new and exciting future through setting and achieving goals. I often tell clients, "your dream job doesn't exist--you have to create it!" Coaching looks to the future, often through the coach asking the client a series of thought provoking questions.

Therapy is about resolving--trauma, conflict, past hurts, etc. Therapy is excellent for resolving issues from one's past.

Hopefully this sheds some light on some of the differences between Life Coaching and Therapy. Both are great tools to help individuals, families, and organizations be healthier, happier lives and more successful.

For more information on coaching, or a referral to a great therapist, please email randy@randymoraitis.com. You can also visit my websites www.randymoraitis.com and www.carepossible.org.

What's Your Superpower?

2015-10-19T15:42:00.000-07:00

By Randy Moraitis, MA, CIP, BCPC

What's your superpower? No, really, what is it? Your first thought may be that you don't have one--that real people don't have superpowers!

But I encourage you to give the idea of a superpower a little more thought.

My theory is that many of us have superpowers without even realizing it.

But probably not the kind of superpower you think. I'm not talking about the ability to fly, super human strength, or x-ray vision. Although having those powers would be fun!

I am talking about superpowers that can enable us to accomplish impressive feats that, on first glance, may not seem like a superpower at all.

You see, there is great power in overcoming adversity. And there are many examples of folks who have overcome adversity and used that experience as a superpower to achieve success.

For example, did you know that Richard Branson, the billionaire founder and chairman of The Virgin Group, credits dyslexia for his success. Branson says he used dyslexia to his advantage and learned to delegate tasks to others so he could focus on the big picture.

Brandon's not alone. Tom Cruise, Jay Leno, and Cher, just to name a few others, also had dyslexia. These superstars have all overcome their learning disability and have been empowered by the experience.

Another example of someone tapping into their superpower is renowned psychiatrist Paul Meier, MD. Dr. Meier was diagnosed with ADHD. But he never let that stop him from achieving his goals. On the contrary, Dr. Meier actually credits much of his success to his ADHD as he claims to have leveraged the ADHD to increase his accomplishments--which are many (co-founder of clinics, author of numerous books, multiple masters degrees in addition to his medical degree).

How about you? What have you overcome?

Addiction
Grief
Trauma
Anxiety
Depression
Learning Disability

If you have overcome any of the above, then I truly believe that you have a superpower! Perhaps your have the superpower of compassion, or focus, or patience, or tenacity.

You don't have to be a celebrity to have a superpower. In my roles working with those impacted by mental health and addiction issues I encounter folks with amazing superpowers everyday. True everyday heroes!

I encourage you--take a moment right now to look inside and tap into your superpower--your inner-superhero. Then consider how you may use it for your success, and like a true superhero--for helping others.

About Randy Moraitis: I am a pastor, counselor, lifecoach, interventionist and consultant living in Orange County. I am also the president of the nonprofit foundation CarePossible which provides mental health and addiction care to low income and military families. My wife Kim and I have a blended family of five and have the superpowers to prove it! Contact me at randy@carepossible.org. Websites: www.randymoraitis.com and www.carepossible.org.

5 Top Apps for Mental Health and Wellness

2015-09-29T17:21:00.000-07:00

We use our phones and hand held devices for so many things! So why not mental health and wellness? Here are 5 great apps that offer help for a variety of afflictions and issues. Check them out, give them a try, and please share so we can all spread good mental health together!

1. Stop, Breathe & Think--This is a great, free app that has a 5 star rating and is a Webby Award Winner. I love this app and use it myself for relaxation and meditation. I also have many of my counseling and coaching clients use this app with great success.

The app is a simple tool to guide one through a variety of basic mindfulness meditations. Users can also check in with how they're feeling and even notify their counselor or friend once a meditation has been completed.

2. Balanced--This is another free, 5 star rated app. Balanced helps users stay focused and motivated on their priorities. This app allows users to set a variety of goals each week, and helps one feel rewarded, in control, and focused on what to do next for success.

I personally use this app to remind me of weekly goals such as watching a TED Talk, meditating, and being thankful.

3. Mindshift--This app is specifically designed for those struggling with anxiety. Although not as highly rated as the above apps, my experience is that counselors love what this app does for their clients as a tool for managing and working through anxiety. The app includes a section on situations that trigger anxiety and how to have healing, as well as some great "chill out" tools and Twitter-worthy inspirational quotes.

4. PTSD Coach--This is a great app that was developed by the Department of Veteran Affairs National Center for PTSD. Although originally intended for use by vets with PTSD, a quick read through the reviews shows that many civilians have been helped by this app as well.

I am passionate about serving our military, treating PTSD, and preventing military suicide, so naturally I am a big fan of this app and hope readers of this blog will share so all our military families learn about PTSD Coach.

5. Optimism--This is a 4 star rated app that helps users with self-tracking as a tool for coping with mental health issues such as anxiety, depression, bipolar disorder and PTSD. The app allows users to create a custom wellness plan and is particularly useful when the user is working with a mental health professional.

Give these apps a try if you could use some support and coaching right at your fingertips. And if you know of a great app that you recommend, please share in the comments section.

And please help spread good mental health by sharing this blog post. Thank you!

Feel free to email me at randy@randymoraitis.com for more info about this topic or my counseling and coaching services. Find me on the web at www.randymoraitis.com and www.carepossible.org.

5 Easy Tips To Be Happier and More Productive!

2015-09-08T16:38:00.001-07:00

It's so hard to be your best when you're stressed! Hard to focus, hard to see the big picture, and really hard to be productive. Productivity isn't just about time management and work--it's also about having fun, time with family and time to pursue your dreams.

Here are 5 Easy Tips To Be Happier and More Productive that I often share with my clients.

1. The "Top 3 Priorities" Rule: Throw out to-do lists that are miles long! They will just create anxiety and leave you feeling like a failure when you fail to cross everything off the list. Instead, make a list everyday of your Top 3 Priorities--the 3 most important things for you to accomplish that day. The 3 things that move you closer to your work or life goals. Then make sure you do those three things!

Side note--it's also wise to have a list of your Top 3 Priorities for life in general!

2. Be 10 Minutes Early for All Meetings: Make it a habit to plan on arriving 10 minutes early for all of your meetings or appointments. If you encounter a delay, you will still be on time. If you arrive early use the extra time wisely--pray, meditate, send a note to a friend or loved one, or even write your Top 3 Priorities for the next day!

3. Delegate: One of my favorite sayings is "Only do what only you can do!". Find one task at home or work that you can delegate to someone else. You don't have to do everything yourself! Sometimes when we fail to delegate, we rob others of the opportunity to serve, grow or learn.

4. Take a 5 Minute Fun Break When Feeling Stressed: If you find yourself on the verge of getting stressed out, then take 5 minutes to do something fun like play with your pet, watch a funny video on Youtube (only 5 minutes! Be careful--Youtube is where time goes to die!), go for a walk, or do some deep breathing. The point is that your mind-shift will get you back on track and give you a productivity boost.

5. Manage Your Transitions: When you have short gaps of time between meetings and tasks avoid distractions that have no payoff. Instead of wasting time on social media, keep a list of 15 minute or less "filler tasks" (like online banking, returning emails, etc.) and get something done instead!

Challenge: pick one of the above and implement it tomorrow!

You do not have to do all 5 tips right away, but doing at least some of the tips will lead to increased happiness and productivity. You may also find that it's easier for you to leave your work at work and enjoy more of your home life!

I would love to hear your thoughts on this topic! Email me at randy@randymoraitis.com to share your thoughts or for info on counseling or coaching. Find me on the web at www.randymoraitis.com and www.carepossible.org.

5 Tips for Families in Recovery

2015-07-15T10:44:00.003-07:00

By Randy Moraitis, MA, CIP, BCPC

Do you have a family member in recovery from addiction? Maybe drugs, maybe alcohol, maybe both? If so, then you know all about the pain, the stress, and the fears that are part of your family culture.

I also know all about the pain, stress and fears--you see I write this post not only as a counselor who deals with families affected by addiction on a daily basis, but also as a person whose family has been impacted by addiction for several generations.

There are a lot of metaphors used to describe what it's like to have a family member who is an addict:
--it's like living in the eye of a storm.
--it's like always having to walk on eggshells.

While the sayings give a glimpse into what it's like to have an addict in the family, they really don't express the depth of the pain and anguish that family members--parents, children, siblings--go through when their loved one is afflicted by addiction.

Here are 5 tips to help families to move in the direction of healing.

But first, a very important question: Are you a family with someone in recovery, or are you a family in recovery?

Families who see themselves as simply having someone in recovery are much less likely to have healing than families who see themselves as a family in recovery.

Addiction is a family disease. It's not just the problem of the addict, it's the whole family's problem! The best possible scenario is when the whole family works on getting healthier. Be a family in recovery!

5 Tips for Families in Recovery

These tips are designed to give families a big picture outlook on what to expect on the recovery journey and how to best move the family from unhealthy to healthy.

1. Be Aware--the members of the addicts family will still have about the same level of stress and anxiety during the first 4-12 months of their loved one's sobriety. They may still be dealing with financial or legal fallout from when the addict was using. Or they may be expecting a relapse and dreading every phone call.

2. Be Aware--things might actually get worse during the first 4-12 months of the loved one's sobriety. They may discover serious health issues or have to serve jail time. Family members may be frustrated with huge bills from treatment.

3. Be Aware--intense family or marriage therapy is counterproductive during the first 4-12 months. Instead focus on getting the family structure back in place, work on individual issues, and work on parenting and family operations.

4. Be Aware--during the first 4-12 months abandonment may be added to the family experience. Either the addict feels abandoned by the family, or the family feels abandoned by the addict. An addict working a healthy recovery program will often go to many meetings and start hanging out with a new crowd. This may make their family feel abandoned at first. It's OK. Let go and focus on your personal growth and healing.

5. Be wise--I highly recommend all family members get connected with appropriate groups such as Al-Anon, CoDa, Lifelines, AA, NA or other support group. This will help bring healing to all the individual members of the family and help prevent the family from falling back into old, unhealthy patterns.

What are your thoughts on this topic? Comment below or email me at randy@randymoraitis.com. Visit my website www.randymoraitis.com for info on counseling or coaching, and our nonprofit foundation CarePossible at www.carepossible.org.

Self-Care for the Caregiver

2015-06-30T15:01:00.000-07:00

By Randy Moraitis, MA, CIP, BCPC

Are you in a role where you care for others? If so, you may experience burn out, compassion fatigue, or even vicarious trauma (if you haven't already!). I believe that if you are a caregiver, then you must have a self-care plan in place to prevent or repair burn out, compassion fatigue and vicarious trauma!

The goal of this blog post is to raise awareness of the need for self-care, and to encourage everyone, especially caregivers, to have an effective self-care plan in place.

Caregivers are so important to society and take many forms:

Counselors/Therapists/Psychologists
Physicians/Nurses
First Responders--police, fire, paramedics, EMT's
Social Workers
Pastors/Ministry Workers

If you are in one of the above roles, then a good self-care plan is vital to your long term health, your future success, and your personal relationships.

Compassion Fatigue is a condition characterized by a gradual lessening of compassion over time. It is a common occurrence in most of the roles listed above. Compassion fatigue is also known as secondary traumatic stress. Ask yourself if you may have some compassion fatigue.

Vicarious Trauma is defined as "a transformation in the helper's inner sense of identity and existence that results from utilizing controlled empathy when listening to clients' trauma-content narratives. In other words, Vicarious Trauma is what happens to your neurological (or cognitive), physical, psychological, emotional and spiritual health when you listen to traumatic stories day after day or respond to traumatic situations while having to control your reaction." (Vicarious Trauma Institute http://www.vicarioustrauma.com/). Ask yourself if you may have experienced vicarious trauma.

Start Self-Care Now!

One of the most important aspects of an effective self-care plan is consistency. Below are suggestions for self-care. Whichever options you choose--be consistent and put these activities on your calendar to ensure they happen!

Self-Care Activities:

Meditation
Yoga
Prayer
Exercise/Fitness Activities
Martial Arts
Counseling
Support Groups
Church
Acupuncture
Massage
Nutrition

I recommend choosing at least two to three items from the above list. As someone who has been a caregiver for many years and has heard and experienced many traumatic experiences, I have done all of the above, over time, to help me stay healthy.

Additionally, caregivers must have a healthy support network of several friends, and/or mentors, that can be counted on for conversation and support when needed.

Finally, I just want to say a big THANK YOU to all the caregivers out there! You are loved, appreciated, and worthy of good care!

I would love to hear your thoughts or suggestions on this topic. You can comment below or email me at randy@randymoraitis.com. Visit my website www.randymoraitis.com for info on counseling or coaching, and our nonprofit foundation at www.carepossible.org.

Parents: How to Connect With Your Teen

2015-06-01T10:31:00.000-07:00

By Randy Moraitis, MA, CIP, BCPC

As the father of a blended family of five kids ranging in age from 16-32 I know first hand how challenging it can be to connect with your teen. You want to be close to them, but how do you do it without attitude, rejection or rebuff?

They're busy--you're busy. Another day goes by and you didn't really connect. What's the solution? How can a parent be intentional about connecting with their teen in a meaningful way?

I suggest you give this a try the next time you and your teen are home and they are in their room working on homework (or whatever they do in there!). Take your newspaper, or iPad or whatever you were going to read in your home office or family room.

Instead of sitting there alone, disconnected from your teen, take your reading material with you and go knock on your teen's door.

When they answer, ask if you can come in. Then come in, have a seat and start reading your iPad or whatever you brought. Just hang out. When your teen asks what you want, say "nothing, I just wanted to be around you".

And be sincere--don't have an ulterior motive to find out who she's dating or some such info. Be real. Be present. Just hang out. After awhile some great conversations may come out of it. And even if they don't--hey, at least you got to spend some time hanging out with your teen!

If your teen happens to tell you to get lost--that they don't want you in their room. Don't make a big deal about it--but do try again the next day, and the next. Your teen is worth the effort.

I would love to hear your teen parenting tips. You can comment below or email me at randy@randymoraitis.com. Visit my website www.randymoraitis.com for more info on counseling or coaching, and our nonprofit foundation at www.carepossible.org.

5 Tools To Jump-Start Your Day

2015-05-11T09:24:00.000-07:00

Be ready to tackle your day so your day doesn't tackle you!

By Randy Moraitis, MA, CIP, BCPC

Beginnings are so important--in books, movies, relationships, etc. And the way we begin our day is also important. If we do it right we can set ourselves up for more success and less stress throughout the day.

Give these 5 tools a try to jump-start your day. Make them habits and you'll probably start having a lot more good days than bad days.

1. Catch Your ZZZ'S

Most folks need 7-8 hours of sleep to be fully rested and have a peak performance day. A great morning starts with planning the night before. Get to bed early enough to get all the sleep you need. You don't need to stay up to watch the Tonight Show--that's what DVR's are for!

2. Get Centered

Spend time every morning doing meditation or prayer. This will give you a calm, centered and focused start to your day. I love the Stop, Breathe and Think app for meditation.

3. Pump It Up

Do some form of exercise--cardio, weights, yoga, run, walk--whatever you like to do. If you are short on time you can find thousands of mini workout routines online. Do something to get that blood pumping and you will feel more energized and ready to tackle the day!

4. Be In The Know

Spend a few minutes getting caught up on the news or read a new blog related to your industry. Stay up to date and informed about the world, your community, and your chosen field. Do this and you'll be ready and well informed for conversations throughout the day.

5. Focus

Be crystal clear on the most important item or items to accomplish each day. Ask yourself, "What is my priority today?" If you don't know--then choose one!

I would love to hear if you have any tools you use to jump-start your mornings! You can email me at randy@randymoraitis.com or visit my website for more info on counseling and life coaching at www.randymoraitis.com. Please visit our nonprofit foundation CarePossible at www.carepossible.org for info and resources for those in need.

8 Tools for Relapse Prevention

2015-05-04T10:39:00.001-07:00

By Randy Moraitis, MA, CIP, BCPC

Hardly a day goes by that I am not approached by someone--either an addict in recovery who is struggling to stay clean, or the loved one of an addict concerned about their loved one relapsing and overdosing.

These are people from all walks of life, yet they usually ask the same question—a question truly born out of desperation, and that question is: “What should I do?”

To help answer that question I offer these 8 Tools for Relapse Prevention. If an addict in recovery sincerely works in these eight areas they will greatly reduce the likelihood of a potential fatal relapse. This is important for both the addict and the family to know.

8 Tools for Relapse Prevention

1. Meetings—addicts need to go to recovery meetings such as AA, NA, CA, Celebrate Recovery, or Lifelines. Meetings are where you learn new things to help the brain heal from the damage caused by the addictive behaviors, and where you can find encouragement from hearing the experience, strength and hope of others staying clean. There is great wisdom in attending 90 meetings in 90 days for those trying to get and stay clean.

2. Counseling—addicts often have some deep down issues that, if never addressed, will continue to rear their ugly heads and possibly trigger relapse. Issues such as anxiety, depression, and trauma can be processed with a good counselor or therapist and the addict can be given tools to grow in healthy ways. The counselor may also recommend a medical exam for a complete assessment and treatment plan.

3. 12 Steps—the 12 steps are an amazing tool for healing and spiritual growth. I highly recommend everyone work through the steps as they are even beneficial to those not in recovery from addiction. Here is a great site with info on the 12 steps: http://12step.org/

4. Sponsor—addicts need a sponsor to guide them through the 12 steps. I recommend a sponsor be of the same sex, have one year or more of sobriety, and have worked through the steps with their own sponsor. The addict should find a sponsor they trust who meets these guidelines, then take direction from the sponsor.

5. Health and Wellness—this includes a healthy diet, regular exercise, stretching, and relaxation/meditation. I highly recommend those in recovery find a healthy activity that they enjoy such as crossfit, martial arts, running, surfing, or yoga. This will give them some good clean fun, get those endorphins flowing, and often lead to making new, healthy friends.

6. Family Support—addiction is a family disease. If you have a family member or loved one impacted by addiction, guess what? You are impacted by addiction! Family members of addicts will help the addict, and themselves, by attending Al-Anon or CoDa meetings. Seeking counseling to learn healthy ways to support the addict without enabling, as well as how to have healthy self-care is also recommended.

7. Recovery Coach—a good recovery coach will give the addict numerous tools to stay clean and sober and hold them accountable in their growth and sobriety. Additionally, a recovery coach will guide the addict to find purpose in life. Once a person has purpose and they are passionate about it, they are more likely to stay focused on achieving their purpose and less likely to relapse.

8. God—the 12 steps were designed to take people on a spiritual journey and trust in a higher power. Many addicts fresh in their recovery have no idea who their higher power is. That’s normal and to be expected. My personal experience is that I have seen thousands of addicts over the years have great success choosing God as their higher power. Having a spiritual foundation gives one much needed strength during times of temptation and triggers. The Life Recovery Bible is a great resource to learn more about the intersection of faith and recovery, and prayer can be a powerful tool for healing.

I would love to hear if you have any tools you recommend for relapse prevention. You can email me at randy@randymoraitis.comor visit my website for more info on counseling and recovery coaching www.randymoraitis.com, or visit our nonprofit foundation CarePossible at www.carepossible.org for info and resources for those in need.

An Introduction to the 12 Steps

2015-02-21T08:40:00.000-08:00

If you have never been to a 12 step meeting, then you probably have no idea what the 12 steps are all about, other than perhaps associating the steps with addicts. Following is a very brief overview of the 12 steps to help spread awareness.

The 12 steps are a set of guiding or spiritual principles originally designed to help those struggling with alcoholism. The steps have proven to be a very effective tool for many people struggling with, not only alcoholism, but addictions and compulsions of many varieties including drugs, food and pornography.

The following are the original twelve steps as published by Alcoholics Anonymous:

1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become unmanageable.

2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.

4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.

5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.

7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.

8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.

9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.

10.Continued to take personal inventory, and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.

11.Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.

12.Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

A great benefit of the steps is that those who sincerely work through the 12 steps can live

healthier and more honest lives than those who do not.

There are numerous types of 12 step groups and meetings where one can find the steps being put into practice including:

· AA—Alcoholics Anonymous

· NA—Narcotics Anonymous

· CA—Cocaine Anonymous

· MA—Marijuana Anonymous

· SA—Sexaholics Anonymous

· OA—Overeaters Anonymous

· CoDa—Codependents Anonymous

· Al-Anon—for friends and family of addicts

12 step groups are a great source of free therapy. If someone cannot afford traditional therapy, they just might find a lot of healing in a 12 step group related to their struggles.

There are many variances between 12 step groups, so if you try one that is not a good fit, don’t give up—try another one. A simple Google search will lead to meeting schedules and descriptions.

Bottom line—the 12 steps are a great tool for healing, so if you’re new to the steps read through them a few times and see how they could grow you—even if you’re not an addict.

I would love to hear your thoughts on this topic. For more info please contact me at randy@randymoraitis.com. Websites: www.carepossible.org and www.randymoraitis.com.

The Top 5 Wisdom on the Way Blog Posts of 2014

2014-12-29T11:09:00.000-08:00

Here are the Top 5 Wisdom on the Way Blog Posts of 2014

7 Signs of Emotional Maturity A great assessment of how you're doing with this whole adult thing!
6 Ways to Catch a Lie How to tell if someone is lying to you.
Treating Anxiety How to treat anxiety physically, emotionally, relationally, and spiritually.
Designer Drugs Important, life saving info that everyone needs to know!
Power of NO! It's all about the "B" word--BOUNDARIES!

What was your favorite blog post of 2014? I would love to hear your comments! You can email me at randy@carepossible.org.

Websites: www.carepossible.org, www.thecrossing.com, www.randymoraitis.com.

6 Ways To Catch A Lie

2014-11-17T12:30:00.000-08:00

Do you ever wish you were better at spotting a liar? Do you have trouble trusting your teen, spouse, or employee? Here’s some info that will help you be a better lie detector!

It takes a lot more mental effort to lie than it does to tell the truth because it’s hard work to remember all the details of the lies. This fact can help us catch a lie if we know what to look for.

Psychologist Jacqueline Evans of the University of Texas and her colleagues developed a set of lie-detecting guidelines that anyone can use. Here are six cues that, when combined, signal a lie.

Missing Details--A person honestly recounting an event might mention the kind of music playing in the background or the color of the flowers on the table. A liar skips many little details because they are difficult to reconstruct or remember in later renditions.
Claims of Faulty Memory--Liars may claim to have a poor memory, when the truth is that they can't remember their own lies!
Corrections or Contradictions--Liars often heavily edit their stories as they are retelling them. So pay attention--if this happens frequently enough, you may be hearing a lie.
Effortful Thinking--If it appears the person is putting a lot of effort into coming up with their story, then that is a good indication that you may be hearing a lie.
Nerves or Tension--It takes a great liar, or a psychopath, to pull off a string of falsehoods without looking at least somewhat anxious.
Unusually Slow Speed--Liars often need to take quite a bit longer to tell their stories because they need to self-edit and try to be consistent.

What’s your favorite way to spot a liar? I would love to hear your comments! You can email me at randy@carepossible.org.

Websites: www.carepossible.org, www.thecrossing.com, www.randymoraitis.com.

Special thanks to Susan Krauss Whitbourne, PH.D., and Psychology Today 12/14 for this info.

5 KEYS TO EFFECTIVE LEADERSHIP

2014-10-09T14:51:00.000-07:00

I was fortunate enough to attend a great seminar taught by psychologist, author, and leadership guru Dr. John Townsend. The focus was on how to be a leader that others would want to follow. Here are the five keys taught by Dr. Townsend.

1. PERSONAL WARMTH:

A. You can’t really know someone until you know their feelings, so take the time to

get to know the feelings of those you lead.

B. Sincere warmth will draw people to you so have empathy.

C. Take the initiative to move inside the world of other people.

D. Have a balance of grace and truth in your relationships.

E. Take the time to be a good 7-minute counselor to folks in need. To do this: Listen

well, Empathize, Offer a brief solution, and then Refer the person to resources

beyond you.

2. VISION ALIGNMENT:

A. Leaders must guard the vision!

B. Ensure that every part of the org chart has a person that knows the vision and

how they contribute to it through their specific duties.

C. Over-communicate vision all the time!

D. Begin every team meeting with, “Here’s what we’re all about”, then share the

vision.

3. VULNERABILITY:

A. People are drawn to vulnerable leaders who show both their needs and their

failures.

B. People are more likely to identify with a leader who is vulnerable than one that

appears “bullet proof”.

C. When sharing needs and failures, it is best to share examples from one’s

professional life, not one’s personal life.

4. OBSERVABLE EXECUTION:

A. People need to see a leader leading, so leaders must create dedicated time to be

visible.

B. Leaders need to do rounds into other people’s spaces.

C. An “open door” policy is a passive position and not good enough. Leaders must

take initiative for substantive conversations and interactions.

5. CANDOR:

A. This is the truth you give people to help them perform better. Remember to offer

both grace and truth.

B. Do not be afraid of feedback from candor.

C. Do not “fragilize” people, which is making someone fragile who is not really

fragile. This disrespects people and fails to treat them as adults.

D. Do not be a "conflict avoidant leader”! Adults are resilient and adaptive, and can

handle candor!

I learned a lot from Dr. Townsend's insights and I hope you do, too!

I would love to hear your comments! You can email me at randy@carepossible.org.

Websites: www.carepossible.org, www.thecrossing.com, www.randymoraitis.com.

7 Signs of Emotional Maturity

2014-06-02T14:46:00.000-07:00

I've noticed that adults rarely think in terms of maturity with each other. In fact, we grown ups tend to expect maturity from other grown ups, right? And that often leads to disappointment.

Here are 7 Signs of Emotional Maturity. Take a moment to honestly assess how you are doing in each of these areas.

1. The ability to deal constructively with reality.

2. The capacity to adapt to change.

3. A relative freedom from symptoms that are produced by tensions and anxieties.

4. The capacity to find more satisfaction in giving than receiving.

5. The ability to relate to other people in a consistent manner with mutual satisfaction and helpfulness.

6. The capacity to direct one's instinctive hostile energy into creative and constructive outlets.

7. The capacity to love.

If you find yourself lacking in one or more of the above criteria, you are not alone. Many of us grew up in homes where these traits were not modeled or taught. But don't worry, it's never too late to grow up! Ask a trusted friend or mentor to help you grow in the areas needed, or seek a coach or counselor for expert guidance.

I would love to hear your comments! You can email me at randy@carepossible.org.

Websites: www.carepossible.org, www.thecrossing.com, www.randymoraitis.com.

Designer Drugs: K2, Spice, Bath Salts--10 Things You Must Know

2014-05-23T10:17:00.000-07:00

By Randy Moraitis, MA, CIP, BCPC

K2, Spice, and bath salts are designer drugs that frequently make the news because of their link to overdose deaths and abnormal behavior. In fact, just this past March there were several teen deaths in Washington State caused by designer drugs.

Designer drugs problems are not isolated to America. Europe has seen a huge influx of designer drugs, and earlier this month New Zealand actually banned all designer drugs making them illegal. (Something I believe all countries must do!)

I learned the truth about these substances at a seminar taught by a leading physician/scientist in the field of addiction and designer drugs. Here are the important highlights that everyone needs to know:

K2 and Spice are often considered a marijuana replacement because they resemble marijuana and are smoked.
K2 and Spice are actually nothing like marijuana in their chemical composition.
K2 and Spice are chemically similar to a combination of methamphetamine and LSD.
K2, Spice, and Bath Salts are very dangerous. The original inventor said that these substances were not for human consumption.
Designer drugs can be very addictive.
K2, Spice, and bath salts can cause permanent brain damage or psychosis, including schizophrenia, after one use.
Designer drugs kill brain cells.
Spice causes delirium, a sudden severe confusion.
People can have flashbacks from Spice and bath salts.
Chemists frequently change the molecular composition of designer drugs to stay one step ahead of drug tests, so designer drugs often go undetected.

I urge every parent and care giver of children and teens to learn the facts about designer drugs and then share them with your kids. Kids think that designer drugs are harmless because they can buy them in stores or online. Nothing could be further from the truth. We need to educate our families and our communities about the serious dangers of designer drugs!

Please share this post with others to save lives and prevent overdoses.

I would love to hear your comments! You can email me at randy@carepossible.org.

Websites: www.carepossible.org, www.randymoraitis.com.

Intervention

2014-04-28T08:08:00.000-07:00

If you have a loved one who is struggling with addiction--to drugs, alcohol, food, gambling or other behavior, then you are probably stressed, worried, frustrated and angry.

You're probably wondering what you can do to help your loved one, or if there even is anything you can do to help your loved one. There is a myth that we must wait for an addict to bottom out. The truth is that for many addicts their bottom is death.

Addiction is a disease, and caring people do not wait for someone with a disease to die. Caring people do all they can to get the person with the disease into proper treatment.

For people afflicted with the disease of addiction, a proven way to get them into treatment is to do an intervention. Now, we have all seen interventions done on TV shows or in movies, so we all have an idea of what an intervention is like.

But the truth is that the method of doing interventions has greatly evolved over the years. No longer do we need to surprise our loved one and simply read letters to them (without even making eye contact!).

There is now a more effective (and more user friendly) method of intervention developed and refined by nationally known interventionist Brad Lamm who is the interventionist for The Today Show and The Dr. Oz Show.

This method is known as an invitational intervention and has as it's ultimate goal to get your loved one to say yes to a change plan moving them towards healthier behaviors. With the support of the loved one's family and friends, along with the guidance and pre-planning of the trained interventionist, the loved one will be set up for success and given an opportunity that may save their life as well as bring healing to the entire family.

If you do have a loved one struggling with addiction, you have options. As a Certified Intervention Professional I am happy to answer any questions you have and guide you towards the best help for your particular set of circumstances. Please feel free to contact me at randy@carepossible.org.

Websites: www.thecrossing.com, www.carepossible.com, www.randymoraitis.com.

Mental Health and The Church

2014-03-29T06:42:00.002-07:00

Observations from The Gathering on Mental Health and The Church held at Saddleback Church on March 28, 2014:

This was not a churchy pray away the problem type of event. It was very scientifically sound and included teaching from some top mental health professionals including Daniel Amen, MD, Tom Okamoto, MD and Aaron Kheriaty, MD (Professor of Psychiatry at UC Irvine).
The goal was to prepare church leaders to effectively deal with mental health issues because 26% of adults will have these issues and one third of these folks seek help from the local church first.
Another goal of the event was to reduce the stigma and reduce the fear of mental illness.
Science and religion should be in dialogue--not contradict each other.
Research shows prayer and meditation are very helpful to those with some mental health issues.
We're all mentally ill on some level--it's just a continuum--so don't judge others!
Family, faith and community support are huge factors in successfully treating those with mental illness.

Conclusion--this was an amazing, much needed and much overdue event! Lives will be changed and even saved from the seeds planted at this event. Personally, I am very grateful to work at a church that is on the forefront of providing quality mental health care to our community.

You can watch a webcast of the event and download the accompanying workbook here: http://mentalhealthandthechurch.com/Webcast. The workbook is an incredible compilation of helpful resources and next steps in helping those struggling with mental health issues.

I would love to hear your thoughts on this subject.

Email: randy@randymoraitis.com Websites: www.thecrossing.com, www.carepossible.com,

www.randymoraitis.com.

The Power of No!

2014-03-17T12:02:00.002-07:00

Those who know me well know that I am a huge fan of healthy boundaries. So when I came across these tips on Finding Your Voice to say No by psychologist Judith Sills, Ph.D., I just had to share. If you are new to saying no and setting boundaries, give these tips a try-- you will be empowered!

Finding Your Voice

1. Replace your automatic Yes with "I'll think about it." This puts you in control, softens the ground for a NO and gives you time to think things through to make a healthy choice.

2. Soften your language. Try "I'm not comfortable with that", or "I'd rather not", or "let's agree to disagree". You are still delivering a clear "no", but softening your language may make it go down better.

3. Contain your feelings. Even though you may not feel like it, No is best delivered pleasantly with an air of calm. Outward calm quiets your inner turmoil and reduces the negative impact of your No on your audience.

4. Refer to your commitment to others. Say No without appearing selfish by stating how you would love to help, but must keep your prior commitment to your mother, child, etc., and you can't let them down.

5. Realize you represent others. When you realize it is not just your own interest at stake, but that of your family's, you will feel more assertive in giving a No to a low-ball offer or intrusion on your time.

6. Rehearse. This strategy is best for ongoing situations such as a demanding boss or recurring relational conflict with a spouse, friend, or family member. By rehearsing, you are prepared to respond with a calm, respectful No.

With some regular practice finding your voice, you just may get to the place where you can respond to any inappropriate, uncomfortable, excessive request with a firm one-word, no explanation verdict--No.

I wish you well in setting and maintaining healthy boundaries!

I would love to hear your thoughts on this subject. Email: randy@randymoraitis.com Websites: www.carepossible.com, www.randymoraitis.com