There are plenty of reasons you shouldn’t copy someone else.  It’s stealing.  It’s lazy.  It’s wrong.  

But the bigger reason (to me) is that one of the joys of building your own business is the learning that comes from building each piece of it.  When you’re forced to stare at a blank screen and write the text for your website, or the ad for a new position you need to fill, or tips for your first newsletter, you have to make countless decisions that help you learn.  Who are you?  How do you want to present yourself to the outside world?  What kind of people are you hoping to attract, and what kind do you want to turn off?  How can you best communicate, and in what voice?  

These are important lessons to learn and there’s no shortcut to learning them.  When you copy someone else, you cheat yourself out of learning anything other than how to copy.  Copying isn’t a strength you can build on.  You’re never going out-copy us or anybody else.  And just like the high school kids who spend all their time trying to do what everybody else is doing, copying is a lousy way to stand out.  

Instead, forget what the competition is doing and chart your own path.  Decide what your business is and what you’re going to stand for.  Sure, it’s not easy.  But learning will always take you further than copying will.  

• Less anxiety during the application process
• More offers of admission from which to choose
• More opportunities to celebrate your college future
• More (even unsolicited) money in financial aid and scholarships
• More control over a process that's spun out of control
• More joy from a time that for many families has become joyless

Apply to plenty of the right colleges in the first place--schools that fit you, schools where you'll be happy and successful, and where you have a strong chance of admission.  

If you have a dream school (or two) that are beyond your reach, by all means, take your admissions shot--you've earned that right.  But don't hang all your college hopes on a short list of schools that reject most of their applicants.  

Good results come from making good decisions.  

The number it gives back to you doesn't represent a promise on the price.  But it's the most accurate way to get a sense of the future price tag for any college your student is considering.  And finding that estimated price now leaves you plenty of time to adjust the college list if necessary.  

And in an endearingly Collegewise-nerdy project undertaken by my colleague, Arun, there are approximately 30,000 spots available in the combined freshman classes of the schools listed in the top 20 of the US News rankings.

So if the one highest achieving, valedictorian-winning, test-score perfecting kid from every high school wants to attend one of the schools atop the US News list, there would be just barely enough spots to fit all of them, with no space left over.  Of course, this doesn't even take into account how many students from outside the United States are also applying, desperately hoping to get into one of the coveted "top ranked" schools.

The numbers don’t lie.  Whether or not you’re willing to accept the reality that the schools sitting atop the rankings don’t necessarily represent the best schools, or give better college experiences, or produce happier, more successful graduates, if you’ve worked hard in high school, you deserve better than to limit yourself to the 20 schools who are most likely to reject you.  

Who’s Sara?

Since graduating from Wellesley College in 2006, Sara has worked as an associate director of college counseling at a charter school, an admissions reader and later an alumnae admissions representative for Wellesley, an outreach coordinator at a private girls' school, and a high school history teacher.  She also has a masters in education from Harvard and has been a regular presenter at local and national admissions conferences.    

Why did we pick Sara?

Nobody gets hired at Collegewise without writing a great cover letter, but Sara’s just might have set the gold standard, especially when she followed her first paragraph with:

“I thought I might just end things there (sort of a “drop the mic” cover letter), but the over-achiever in me wants to get you really excited to meet me so that we can decide together if I am a good fit for this role.”

It worked.

College applicants could learn a lot from Sara’s approach to applying for a job at Collegewise.

There was nothing about Sara’s cover letter or resume that had an “insert name of company here” feeling.  It really felt like she prepared those materials just for us, and in doing so, she made it absolutely clear just how perfect she was for this job.  Matchmaking is important in both college admissions and job searching.  

Sara didn’t just say that she was committed to education and willing to work hard to help kids; she’s already doing those things.  Students who tell colleges, “I really want to help people,” or “I’m fascinated with engineering” are never as noticeable as those students who are already pursuing those interests. 

Plus, we just liked Sara.  She’s got oomph.  I mean, she’s on a bowling team called “Split Happens."  Really.  So the only question left for us to answer was, “Do we want to watch Sara go over-achieve and be successful somewhere else, or do we want her to do so here with us (while at the same time improving our company's net bowling score)?”  That was just a no-brainer, which is exactly the reaction students should aim to inspire from colleges. 

Boston bound

Sara will be joining Tim, Shantá, and Jenn in Boston for a week of training starting June 10.  Until then, Sara is finishing up the academic year at her high school and completing the required pre-reading assignments for our training.  Although it's likely that in her over-achieving style, Sara has already completed the readings, identified any errors, and prepared study guides.  She's going to fit in just fine.

Welcome, Sara! 

“Most of you must think I’m crazy for turning down Harvard, Princeton, Stanford, etc. to go to UVA, but read this letter I wrote explaining my choice and always remember: It’s not about where you go, it’s about what you do while you’re there... And how happy you are!”

That’s a kid who gets it.

Congratulations, Kevin.  And have a great four years at UVA.

• Do it [get things done and create change] on purpose
• Tell stories that resonate with those in charge
• Demand responsibility, don't worry about authority
• Reflect credit, embrace blame
• Earn the right by taking small steps
• Convene, organize, learn, teach and lay the foundation
• If they don't get it, go somewhere that does [slash] hire better clients, regardless of the fee

If you’re finishing your year in a leadership position, or leaving your counseling job to pursue something new, what kind of leader do you want to be?  The kind who moves on and leaves the next generation to fend for themselves, or the kind who works to make sure you leave your club, team, organization, class or counseling department to flourish long after you're gone?

The best leaders don’t leave their legacy in the past. They want their work to keep benefitting their group for years to come.

Here’s what Harry says about his role as a coach:

What I do is help nurture traits that are already within the rowers.  They come here, they’re highly motivated, clearly they’re competitive, they’re smart.  And then what I do consciously or unconsciously is create an environment that fosters or strengthens those traits.  You have to work hard.  You have to be responsible.  You have to be accountable.  You have to have a lot of perseverance.  You have to deal with a lot of frustration.”

I think that's a great summary of what a highly selective and prestigious school like Harvard does for students. 

Schools like Harvard take students who already have the traits to be successful and give them an opportunity to foster and strengthen those traits.  But students have to work hard.  They have to be responsible.  They have to be accountable.  They'll need a lot of perseverance.  And they'll deal with a lot of frustration. 

It's not always easy or fun.  But their willingness to do it is what will make them successful, not the name of the school on their degree.

Start developing those traits now--hard work, responsibility, accountability, perseverence, and the ability to handle frustration.  Then bring your traits with you to college and work with your school to foster and nurture them.

But affordability is an important part of fit.

If you come out of any college saddled with more debt than you can ever hope to pay off, it’s going to be a lot harder to reap (and enjoy) the benefits of your four college years.  A student who doesn’t work all that hard in college and graduates with an empty resume will probably have to pay for his lack of effort by waiting tables for a few years until he can prove himself in a career.  But a student who graduates with $100,000 in student debt will likely be paying for it for most of his adult life.  And I don’t have to tell you how hard life will be if both those scenarios are true for the same student.

No matter what your budget is or what schools you think are right for you, here are three reminders I’m constantly sharing with Collegewise families:

1.  Don’t let sticker price derail your search for colleges that fit you.

Yes, you should be mindful of how the price of each college stacks up with your budget.  But some families want to eliminate from consideration any college whose sticker price is one they can’t afford.  That’s a bad strategy because you don’t know what your financial aid package will be until you actually get accepted (although you can use the net price calculators on colleges’ websites to estimate how much each school will cost).  And as we see every year with our Collegewise students, those who apply to the right colleges in the first place tend to get a lot more financial aid, even if they didn’t qualify for financial need.  You should also find at least one financial safety school you’re sure you can both get into and pay for with as little financial aid as possible. 

2. When your acceptances arrive, be very careful selecting a college that will require you to take on too much debt to attend. 

You might decide that an expensive private school is the only place that’s perfect for you. But if it’s going to take you 30 years to pay back the loans you took out to attend it, a cheaper, even less perfect option starts to look like a much better fit.  If you want advice about how to attend college debt-free, check out Zac Bissonnette’s Debt-Free U, the best book I’ve read on the subject.

3. When you get to college, make it your mission to have a remarkable college career.

This is the "what you do while you're there" part.  Wherever you go, you'll have four years of opportunities to learn, find what you're good at, cultivate relationships with mentors, and get valuable experience for your resume, all while enjoying good college fun.  Don't waste it.  Better yet, maximize it.  Every single day you're in college is an opportunity.  What would your job prospects look like if you made the most of every one of those days for four years? 

Don't believe people who tell you that it's impossible to get into a good college today.  There are plenty of recognizable, legitimate schools on this list who need students.  Spread the word.

It doesn’t take much effort to have a positive interaction with someone.  If a teacher or counselor helps you, give a sincere thank-you, and maybe send an email later expressing your appreciation.  When a fellow writer on the school newspaper writes a good article, tell her how much you liked it.  Go cheer on your friend at the volleyball game, the school musical, or the debate tournament and offer up a “good job!” at the end.  And when you have a negative interaction (we all have them), make an extra effort to inject some positive interactions later to get your ratio back to 3:1.

Positivity is contagious.  Not the fake kind where you’re just sucking up—the real kind where you actually care about your interaction with this person.  If you want to improve your relationship with someone (or with a lot of people), work on improving your positive to negative interaction ratio.

By the way, the ratio is even more important for leaders because you interact with entire organizations.  If you’re the club president, team captain or editor, make a habit of offering up sincere praise, thank yous, or acknowledgement more often.  The group's morale and respect for you will probably improve noticeably. 

1. Visit the websites of the colleges you’re considering and find out if they require (or even consider) SAT Subject Tests.

2. If they do, register for those specific subjects required by the college.  If the colleges give you options, choose those that match the courses you’re taking now.  Popular choices for juniors are US history and chemistry. 

You’re not going to know subjects like US history or chemistry better than you do as you’re preparing for finals.  So find out if you need to take them, and if so, time the testing when your knowledge is best.