Wise Woman Fertility

Welcome to Wise Woman Fertility

2022-01-01T16:32:00.000-08:00

Holistic Fertility Consulting

Wise Woman Fertility is about the ancient tradition of women healing women. In the times of our ancestors, our Mothers, Grandmothers and Great Grandmothers knew the secrets to heal their families and their communities. From taking care of childhood illnesses to healing the ailments of their elders, women were always sought after for their wisdom and intuition. But women were never so much needed as they were regarding issues unique to women, namely fertility, pregnancy and childbirth. It was here that village "wise women" would travel on foot or by carriage, in all conditions and all seasons, to assist other women in their times of need. Slowly, as our world became smaller, women grew further apart. Lost were many of the great traditions of our ancestors. But not all.

J. Rivkah Asoulin has been gathering fragments of these traditions and piecing them together to help women and couples overcome their fertility struggles and other women's health related issues. By using such time-honored practices as Fertility Awareness Based Methods (FAM/FABM), Herbalism, Aromatherapy, EFT, Nutrition and Intuition, J. Rivkah has enjoyed tremendous success rates with her clients. But most importantly, J. Rivkah enjoys passing along the traditions of the Wise Women to the future generation of Wise Women, one woman at a time.

Natural Options for Halachic Infertility

2020-05-12T10:19:00.003-07:00

* The following article first appeared on the Nishmat website in 2011 and is listed in the citations for this Harvard Divinity School article, published by the Cambridge University Press. We thank the kind folk at Nishmat for sharing the original article with us. The article has been updated and revised by the author.

Natural Options for Halachic Infertility

Halachic Infertility describes the condition of a woman who ovulates before she has been to the mikvah, making marital relations with her husband impossible at the optimal (or perhaps only) time for fertility. This may be because a woman has a particularly early ovulation caused by an underlying medical issue, or because she has extended bleeding or spotting, which delays her ability to immerse in a mikvah at the proper time. As a Fertility Consultant who works with halachic infertility, I have found several treatment options.

Perhaps the easiest to address is the issue of prolonged bleeding or spotting. Some women find that they have been too strict in evaluating bedikot (internal checks) or stains and a simple consultation with a Rav (Rabbi) or yoetzet (female religious authority on Taharat HaMishpacha, the Jewish laws of “family purity”) can assist. The Rav may also be able to give a heter (permission) to help a woman reach mikvah earlier. This heter may include eliminating the moch, limiting bedikot (internal examinations) to the minimum required amount (the hefsek taharah and an additional exam on both the first day and the last day of the shivah neki'im – also known as “the seven blood-free days”), allowing those who consider stains on toilet paper to be problematic to ignore such stains, and so forth. Other allowances can vary from allowing the woman to wear colored underwear during the shivah neki'im in order to ignore prolonged spotting to allowances to use alternative insemination before the scheduled date of the mikvah.

For women whose bleeding lasts only a few days, a Rav may also permit a reduction of the minimum days required before the hefsek taharah.

The other option is to try to assist the woman by changing her use of menstrual hygiene products.

I recommend to all of my clients to avoid all disposable products. There are numerous reasons for this, including the fact that they contain dioxins and toxins which are known to cause cancer, as well as drying agents, allergens and chemicals that are dangerous to the reproductive system. Tampons, which sit inside of the reproductive organs, are the most harmful, causing micro tears and, because they are neither sterile nor able to be sterilized, introducing bacteria into the vaginal canal and other reproductive organs. I recommend a complete switch to either cloth menstrual products (such as cloth pads, “period” underwear and cloth labial tampons, which are not inserted into the vaginal canal), menstrual cups or a combination of both.

Cloth menstrual products are softer and gentler on the delicate vaginal labia and do not contain any of the glues and other harmful chemical components that are so often found in their disposable counterparts. They can easily be sterilized by washing in boiling water and can also be purchased or created using organic materials for those with suspected sensitivities. Menstrual cups are made either from medical grade silicone, plastic or latex, and can be purchased online from many different companies worldwide. They, too, can be sterilized by boiling in water for 3-10 minutes (depending on each manufacturer's instructions). The menstrual cup is inserted low into the vagina (as opposed to tampons, which sit high and close to the cervix) and should not interfere with an IUD for those women who use it for birth control. Because menstrual cups collect (rather than absorb) menstrual flow, and because they are made from materials that inhibit the growth of bacteria, they are very gentle on the delicate vaginal walls and flora.

Menstrual cups are held in place within the vagina by the vaginal muscles and a light natural suction created by the cup and the vaginal wall. It is hypothesized that it is this light suction which gently draws out and helps to complete the menstrual flow, in some women, so that there will be lessened or no spotting following completion of the period. This efficiency and reduced spotting may allow women to begin counting their seven “blood free” days sooner than they were previously able. It is also important to note that, when the cup is inserted properly, it is unlikely to be felt in the vagina by the user. The cup can typically remain in the vagina for up to 12 hours before being emptied (check manufacturer’s instructions which range from 6-24 hours), cleaned and reinserted and typically carries lower risk of toxic shock syndrome than tampons. Menstrual cups can last for up to 10 years (perhaps longer) and are therefore significantly less expensive than disposable products. Of course, they (and other reusable products) are also the preferred environmental option because they eliminate the waste generated by disposable products.

The problem of an underlying medical condition which could cause halachic infertility is slightly more challenging to solve.

Typically, I will begin by teaching women the basics of symptom-thermal Fertility Awareness Based Methods (FAM/FABM). FABM are based on charting two main fertility indicators; cervical fluid and basal body temperature. Because cervical fluid noticeably changes with the increase or decrease of naturally occurring fertility hormones, it is possible for a woman to recognize fertile quality cervical fluid (sometimes called cervical mucus or vaginal discharge) and to time intercourse during the time of the most fertile quality to maximize the chances of fertility. It is also possible for a woman to indicate possible halachic infertility by letting her health care practitioner know that she is experiencing fertile quality cervical fluid followed by non-fertile cervical fluid prior to her immersion in the mikvah. The second indicator is the basal body temperature (or waking temperature) that a woman can also monitor herself. This temperature will allow the woman to know that she has already ovulated only after the fact, so it is not a predictor of impending ovulation. Women will then cross reference their cervical fluid signs with their basal body temperatures to confirm that ovulation has indeed occurred. A third optional indicator may be tracked, which is cervical position and cervical os dilation. It is not necessary to track this third factor to use the method, but it is highly recommended and takes only a few seconds of time a day. Secondary fertility signs that may also be charted with the method are middleschmertz (or ovulatory cramping), headaches, bloating sensation, acne or other personal indicators which vary from woman to woman.

Once the woman is proficient in charting her cycles, using the above information, we are typically able to confirm ovulation pre-mikvah in halachic infertility. Sometime we are able to see that ovulation is not taking place at all (anovulation). Sometimes this is the case even when the woman is experiencing fertile quality cervical fluid and/or having periods. There are many herbs that may assist in either anovulation or halachic infertility and have been used for countless years by experienced herbalists and fertility specialists. I recommend a wide variety of herbs in my practice that can assist, depending on what I feel may be the underlying cause of the issue. For example, some women also have abnormally long or short cycles. Some woman may not have the requisite number of days between ovulation/implantation and the beginning of their periods to maintain a pregnancy (short luteal phase). It is impossible to recommend the correct herb for each woman, unless all of these factors have been recorded, observed and considered by a qualified observer, using their FABM charts and information gleaned at the intake appointment.

It is important to note that there is much information about many different herbs that can be used in treatment on the internet and in herbals. Among those that may be recommended are vitex, dong quai, red raspberry leaf, red clover, soy isoflavones, wild yam root, nettles, trace minerals and vitamin supplements. There are additional herbs for fertility related problems, such as thyroid function abnormalities or malnourishment, that may also cause early ovulation or anovulation.

It is critical that women seek proper care and guidance when formulating their halachic infertility correction protocol. Taking an incorrect herb in the incorrect dosage can create complications ranging from inaction to severe negative reaction or further complications. Several of my own clients have come to me after taking upwards of 20 or more supplements and herbs simultaneously, in an effort to self treat. This is dangerous and should not be attempted.

J. Rivkah Asoulin is a Woman’s Fertility Consultant and the founder of Wise Woman Fertility. She is also the founder and executive director of Ancient Roots Israel, the first international conference and community in Israel. She can be reached for private consultation or public speaking engagements via her website.

2012-09-20T04:38:00.000-07:00

B"H Wise Woman Fertility has been very busy with clients and her own "maternity leave" but has not forgotten about all of YOU! In celebration of our first "satisfied customer" (read: PREGNANCY!!!) this Jewish New Year, we would like to announce a "flash" giveaway. This is only open to our Israeli readers.

And now a word from our sponsors:

"http://pregnancytestsisrael.com/ offers a great price on pregnancy and ovulation tests, including free shipping by Doar 24 service. Buy 5 pregnancy tests for 30nis or 10 tests for 50nis. Pay online and receive your tests in a discreet white envelope in your mailbox. Why pay so much and shlep out to the drugstore when you can buy online and save? Visit http://pregnancytestsisrael.com/ today!"

The first 10 respondents by erev Sukkot will get a free "Special Pack" (five pregnancy tests).

Make sure to provide a way for me to contact you for your mailing details!

Good Luck and Chag Sameach!

Kegels

2012-01-23T12:29:00.000-08:00

Dr. Arnold Kegel

Kegels.

You've got to love them...or not.

Kegels have been touted as the Female Panacea. They strengthen the pelvic floor muscles. They prevent or reverse incontinence and, as we all know, they enhance sex, particularly for your male partner. No wonder doctors (most of whom are male) promote Kegels for women.

Hummmmm....

But are they really all that they are *ahem* "cracked up" to be? Why is it that Wise Woman who have got "kegels of steel" still confide in me that they are leaking urine when they laugh or having uterine prolapse problems? Perhaps the answer lies here.

Turns out that kegels may not be so great for us Wise Women after all. And that makes sense. Because kegels don't occur naturally as we move throughout our day, nor have they throughout the ages. Squatting, on the other hand, does.

But let's be honest. There is a time and a place for Kegels and, for many, that is in lovemaking, both for self pleasure and to please our partners. Ultimately, we do need to incorporate both into our lives but I suggest that we do this in very natural ways. When we were once told to "practice our Kegels at red lights," while driving and so on, I would say that we should now put that same sort of effort into squatting. Squatting is a great daytime activity, especially for those of us with young children. Squatting gives us an opportunity to "get down to their level" and really communicate with our kids. It also is a great way, instead of bending over at the waist, to pick things up off the floor and do other sorts of cleaning or chores that come up in our day to day life. If we make an effort to replace our bending forward and over with squats then we will reap the benefits that squatting brings (provided that squatting is an appropriate movement for you).

And of course, then we can focus on Kegels at night. :)

And that is the part I'd like to talk about with you now. You see, Kegels in lovemaking can be very natural and fun, but some Wise Women don't know what they are or how to do them properly. This is one issue. But the next issue is what interests me, personally, as a practitioner of FAM. And this is the Semen Emitting Technique (SET), which is detailed in the book TCOYF. Basically, author Toni Weschler, MPH recommends using Kegels as a way to expel the semen from the vaginal canal post-coitus.This is done so that you can check your cervical fluid the following day without confusion about whether or not you are seeing your husband's semen or your own cervical fluid. This is a very important part of using FAM so it is critical that women know how Kegels are done and when to do them after intercourse.

Image by Alice Brickner

For me, the main issue is trying to explain to a woman over the phone or via webcam or even in my office about how to do them. Often times, we are told to practice stopping and starting the flow of urine while using the toilet to isolate the muscles which are utilized in Kegels or SETs. This is helpful, but I've been looking for some other options to assist women in learning the technique.

One great way to practice this is during lovemaking. The woman will squeeze her vaginal muscles around her husband's penis. It's great if you have the sort of relationship with your partner where you can ask him how this feels and work together to isolate the muscles that are used and how to use them. But for many this may be embarrassing, impractical or simply place them under too much "performance anxiety" pressure. Some women may choose to practice this privately while using her fingers or sex toys to grip and close around and this is also a possible solution, but many women are simply uncomfortable with this as well, which should also be respected. This is why I began to look into the "Kegel weights."

Image courtesy of Intimina

Kindly, Intimina (maker of the Laselle Kegel Exercisers) offered to allow me to test their 1oz. Kegel weight for review and I must say, the results were surprising.

Firstly, I was impressed by the pretty, pink color and satin carrying bag that came with the weight. Made from silicone and tied with a string (for easy removal) it did not look threatening, which I think is very important for women who are not comfortable with other similar products. The weight itself is a very smooth ball of moderate size which contains the actual "weight" within. This weight is loose to allow for the feeling of movement or vibrations when you have squeezed it with the appropriate muscles. Though, I must confess, that for me this was only of minimal help. Intimina suggests that this weight can be worn throughout the day while going about your daily chores but try as I might, I simply found it too distracting and too, er, stimulating to have in throughout the day. I did find, though, that when I could keep one hand on the attached string (which hangs outside of the vaginal opening) and lay down on my back, I was able to feel, via the movement of the string, exactly what my vaginal muscles were doing and how they worked. The benefit to this, of course, is that one does not need to put her own fingers inside of her vagina to feel this, if this is something that makes her uncomfortable or feel put under pressure. And, of course, you can do this in the privacy of your own room, completely alone, to teach yourself the technique.

Overall, I found the Kegel weight to be unnecessary for women who are comfortable with kegels and using other methods of checking that they are indeed using the correct muscles when applying the technique. But, for those women who are uncertain or unfamiliar with how to correctly perform a kegel and are not comfortable using their husband (and his penis) or their own fingers or other sex toys as a guide or for practice, the Laselle Kegel Excerciser is an excellent choice, in that it is both non-threatening and feminine in appearance and function. For those women who are using FAM and are having difficulty charting their cervical fluid due to retained semen in their vaginas, this is also a great way to practice the technique so that SETs may be performed effectively. And truly, this can make all the difference in their charting ability and comfort level.

And now, as a special gift to you, Intimina would like to offer one lucky Wise Woman Fertility reader her own free gift of a Laselle Kegel Excerciser and Feminine Moisturizer.

To enter, you must first head on over to Intimina's Facebook Page and "like" them.

Then you must both follow this blog and "like" the Wise Woman Facebook Page.

Earn a bonus entry for sharing the link to this blog on your Facebook, Twitter or other social networking page.

Finally, leave a comment here letting me know that you have completed all of the steps. Be sure to include an email address where I can reach you, in the event that you have won.

A winner will be chosen using www.random.org on Feb. 5, 2012

Good Luck and Enjoy!

Vaginas

2011-05-15T14:06:00.000-07:00

Ladies and Gentlemen,

There is something that is really bothering me in the midst of all of this menstruation talk and that is the issue about how women feel about their own vaginas.

There, I've said it. Vagina. Can everyone deal with it? (Apparently not, as I was recently told that it is "gross" by a grown man, which brings me right back to the point at hand.) Vaginas don't get a lot of love. Well, maybe yours is getting a lot of love. But by and large, most vaginas don't. At least, not in the verbal department.

Let's switch gears for a minute. Prostate. Ah, much better isn't it? That's just a fancy word for Penis. Well, actually, it's not, but it's often times used that way. We don't have any dainty, prissied up word for vagina. But prostate...that's much more comfortable. Clean. Clinical. Now what if we started having a talk about prostate health. What about "avoiding prostate cancers" or other "damage to the prostate". We can listen rather comfortably to that, can't we.

Now let's switch back and talk about vaginas. What about vaginal health or vaginal cancers? Feeling embarrassed? You aren't alone. When we are penis talking, we have lots of choices about words to use and as a society we are feeling much more comfortable talking about male reproductive health than...well...female reproductive health. Women have difficulty discussing their sexual health even with their own healthcare providers. That's coming from somewhere.

Is it coming from men? Is it coming from other women? Is it coming from how we, as parents (or our own parents), talk to children about our sex organs? Is it coming from the sexually repressed society we came from or the sexually explicit society in which we live, where pornos and "Barely 18" rags are part of the vernacular?

I don't know how these feelings about vaginas got started, but I know there is only one "right" vagina to have. A woman's vagina must be firm, tight, and tiny to make her partner (never mind the actual owner of said vagina) feel good. It must never secrete anything and must always smell powdery and fresh. It should be hairless and young looking, like that of a little girl (how disturbing is that?!)

What is happening, of course, is that women are teased and taunted. If they have "too many" sexual partners or are suspected of such (the number is subjective) they are "loose" (referring to the tone of their vaginal canal). Of course, upon having a baby, many a doctor has commented "let's give an episiotomy and sew her up real good and tight so she'll be just like a virgin for her husband." The belief, of course, is that women who have had a vaginal birth have those icky, loose vaginas, too.

This madness must end. It is healthy and normal for vaginas to come in all sizes and shapes. It is healthy and normal for women to have fuller vaginas (and bodies, for that matter) post baby than pre-baby. It is healthy and normal for women (and men) to come in all sorts of shapes and sizes.

Yikes! There was a pun there. I swear that wasn't intended.

Image by Meluna

When it comes to menstrual cups (and this issue has been much discussed on Wise Woman lately), it's important to know that, just like we don't all wear one size in clothes, we can't all wear one or even two sizes in menstrual cups, either.

I've learned about women who were 5 foot 1 and shocked that they had very long vaginas (sometimes referred to in a more politically correct way as a "high cervix") and very tall women who were quite surprised by the fact that their vagina's were quite short ("low cervix") and that is affecting their perception of themselves as "beautiful" and as women.

A lot of women don't even know what their vagina is like, inside, compared to others and then feel bad about themselves when they go on to use something like a menstrual cup and have to make a choice about what size will best fit them. I've been hearing from women who are "embarrassed" to get a larger size cup because it means they are "all stretched out and gross" and this is all so silly but even worse than that, upsetting because it just perpetuates these myths about and against women!

It's important to know that the vagina and cervix change in texture and position throughout the cycle and some days will feel "mushier" and lower (during the heaviest days of the period) or mushy and higher (during ovulation...) or firm and high or low and so on and so forth. So how your vagina and cervix are during your menses is not an indication of how they are and feel throughout the rest of your cycle but it is an indication that you are perfectly "normal" in your vaginal and cervical variations.

I highly recommend this book (I blog about it here) for more information about that and what it means. I go into depth with women about this when I consult with them privately, but I think that if more women read this book, knew about FAM and were able to internalize it, there would be way less in the way of fertility and other problems in our population.

Lastly, I want to say that loving yourself includes loving all of your parts...including your vagina.

Lunette Menstrual Cup Review

2011-05-05T13:59:00.000-07:00

I'm sorry to say that I don't know much about Finland. But, I think it speaks very highly about a place when they produce a product that inspires someone to Wikipedia their country. :)

Lunette colored cups, note new "purple" and "orange" colors in the center.
Image by Lunette

My Clear Lunette Model 2 and "Cynthia" (frosted wine colored) Lunette Model 1 arrived one day before I began my period. Certainly a good omen.

I was immediately struck by the beautiful shape and color of the "Cynthia."

Cynthia is the new "purple" model of the Lunette menstrual cup that has just come out on the market, so it does not yet even appear on their website. (Lunette has been around for about 6 years, though.) Not surprisingly, it is already selling out in droves by women who are looking for a colored cup that has a frosted, yet translucent look. The Cynthia is definitely more of a "wine" color than purple, and it is very pretty. But this isn't what makes it unique in the "cup world."

Image by Feminine Wear

The unique factor is it's shape, which all Model 1 Lunette's display. There is something very elegant (if you can say that about a menstrual cup...and WHY NOT!) about the design. It has an inverted bell shape which makes for a tiny rim diameter, that billows out into a bulbous body, allowing for increased capacity.

The Model 2 Lunette has more of an inverted A-frame shape, which is unique in that it can hold a large capacity, but is shorter in body than many of it's competers on the market. It also has a wider diameter than the large Meluna (though it appears to be comparable with large model Diva Cup).

Another thing I noticed immediately was the stem. Lunette offers a flat, ridged stem which I love! It proved to be exceedingly comfortable and functional.

There was a contradiction in the instruction pamphlet, in that it states in one place to boil the Lunette for 5 minutes, but later states to boil it for 10 minutes to sterilize it before using (and of course after the period is completely finished and again before using for the next period). I have since boiled it for both 5 and 10 minutes with no ill effects. Just remember that there must be enough water in your pot to keep the cups afloat, and you should be fine.

I began my cycle by using the "Cynthia". I immediately noticed that it was extremely easy to insert and popped open simply. Between this and the very unique shape, I feel that this cup would be perfect for a teenager or someone new to the world of menstrual cups with a light to medium flow. I ended up using my Cynthia for the majority of my period, even though it was in the model smaller than what I needed. It performed beautifully, though I had a general feeling of insecurity about it because I worried that the diameter was too small to prevent leaking. (I had only a few minor problems with this as my menstrual flow increased but was able to catch it early and simply reinsert to solve.) Because of the stem, it was very easy to feel where the cup was and to grab hold of it to take out. I didn't worry about breaking the stem because of it's sturdiness but didn't feel it because of it's flatness.

Image by Lunette

I used the Clear Lunette Model 2 for my heaviest days and had some likes and dislikes about it.

First of all, I finally felt what a good "seal" should feel like. This created some great suction and the cup felt very sturdy yet also so soft that I couldn't even feel it. In fact, there was a time when I must have inserted it incorrectly and I could feel it, so I simply took the cup out, rinsed and reinserted and there was no longer a problem.

I liked that. It made for "idiot proof" cup use, which is always a good thing.

The other thing I loved about it was the stem. This is a great design! Capacity-wise, I felt that the large Lunette was completely appropriate for a heavy flow. I was finding that I still needed to empty my cup every hour during my heaviest flow days, but it was comfortable and easy to change and I always had just a bit more capacity left, which gave me an extra measure of security.

I was even able to quickly and easily empty and reinsert my Model 2 Lunette in a public restroom at a gas station on my heaviest days with no leakage, and this was phenomenal!

The downside was that I had a much harder time positioning the Model 2 Lunette, and when it wasn't positioned well, it would leak. After troubleshooting some, I am going to guess that this was because I had positioned the cup slightly off to one side or the other of my cervix (perhaps it got tucked over to the side during a time when my cervix was sitting lower in the vaginal canal, which is common for the heaviest flow days) so that the menstrual flow just went right past the open cup and down the side.

Of course, this is no good at all and defeats the purpose of the cup.

After more extensive reading, I have learned that it can take a few cycles to learn the proper positioning for our own individual bodies, so I cannot lay blame for this on anyone but myself. But it is noteworthy that I am still on a significant learning curve with this model.

The other thing that bothered me, slightly, was that there seem to be measuring lines on the cup but no measurements written so that they are virtually meaningless, and that's a real shame. I would have liked to have had the meaning behind the lines.

Model size 1 and 2
Image by Lunette

I really enjoyed the (lack of) feel of the silicone. It did seem very natural feeling in the body. I chose to wear cloth pads to bed, but I think on my next cycle, I will try to use my Lunette overnight, as well (and just wake up to empty it out in the night on my heavy flow days).

But here is the really neat thing...I was able to start counting my "white days" 2 days sooner than ususal! My cycle didn't feel much different in the way of flow and my diet was essentially the same so I can only consider that perhaps the efficient "seal" of the Lunette was a factor.

All in all, the Lunette is a great cup. I was pleasantly surprised by the Cynthia Model 1, which I initially felt would be a totally inappropriate cup for a woman older than 25 with 3 vaginal births under her belt (literally, ahem). But, I was able to use it for all but my very heaviest days of my cycle.

As for the Model 2, when it worked, it worked beautifully and I loved it for it's comfort and usability...but when it didn't, I was back in the bathroom for way too long, trying figure out why.

I'm hoping that with time, patience and practice, I will be able to find the perfect way to insert, so that it will be reliable every time. But of course, this has already happened with the Model 1.

One of the comments I have heard most often about the Lunette is that it is noticably made by a cup user. I would certainly agree with this. The design is unique on both models to be able to hold the most amount of flow in the shortest amount of space and I think that most women will find that this is exceedingly comfortable.

Wise Woman Fertility would like to thank the lovely ladies over at Lunette for providing excellent customer service, promptness in answering my emailed questions and in shipping and for their donations of the Cynthia Model 1 and clear Model 2 Lunette cups for testing and review. All of the images used are theirs unless otherwise noted and are used with their permission. You can follow Lunette on Facebook here.

What do you do for...?

2011-05-04T15:38:00.000-07:00

It seems that lately, I've been getting asked the same sorts of questions over and over again. :) Thank you for asking them, btw, because it is through you that I've realized a common denominator... as well as a common misconception about what I (and others) actually do. I'm hoping that this post will bring some clarity.

Some of you may have noticed a recent discussion going on over at the Wise Woman Fertility facebook page. Or some might be standing around when a friend, neighbor or potential client is asking me "so what do you do if someone has this (fill in the blank)?"

Tonight I received an email with the same basic tag line..."I know a person with the following problem and am sending them your way...but what will you suggest/do to solve this problem."

The basic question alludes to something akin to a mathematical formula. "If a person has problem X, what is the Y that you will give them?"

I'm here to tell you that there is no such equation. No such formula.

Women (and men...and children, for that matter) are not cookie-cutter images of one another. And even though I'm certain you already know that (so do I), it is amazing how quickly we want to fall right back into that way and pattern of thinking.

A wonderful and Wise Woman, in her own right, posted a question on my page about squatting and whether or not I feel it is safe for pregnancy before (some magical number) of 37 weeks.

So, let's take squatting.

I love squatting. Squatting is great. And it's a seemingly simple issue, isn't it? To squat or not to squat... and when.

The fact of the matter is that I no longer am able to look at the world in this way. While squatting might be safe and even beneficial for many women during pregnancy, for others, it could cause major problems. The only reason I know this is because I have had women come to my practice and they are doing something that for many or most other women would be just fine... but for them, it is causing infertility or other related women's health issues. I often times hear "but other women do this and they are perfectly fine!" And that, of course, is true. The trick is finding the unique issues at play for each particular woman. Finding her issues..finding what is right for her, specifically. And it takes time, tools and experience to do that.

Squatting for an average mother might be absolutely fine and beneficial...but for some women, it could cause pre-term labor. For some, it could cause other complications. In my practice, I have to look at and weigh every factor. This is what a Holistic View of Health is all about. This is also responsible practice.

I need to ask the women about how they use their bodies, what their specific case histories are and more, to get a really clear picture about what is and what isn't safe for them, specifically. Nothing can be taken for granted, when we are talking about women who either have problems or who could cause problems in their pregnancies.

In other words, we could learn that squatting causes pre-term labor for a mother by just giving it a go...but there is so much at stake. We need to make some educated decisions about everything that we do in order to "prescribe" or make "suggestions."

This, of course, is intertwined with another issue that was addressed both in that same conversation on my page as well as in the email I received. And this is the issue of self-administering of herbal (or other) medicines.

When someone asks me, specifically, what they should do for (fill in the blank) without wanting to make an appointment or having a paid consultation, they hope and intend to get my "quick answer," my formula, if you will, and then apply it to themselves or others.

The problem is, there are "many roads that lead to Rome" and many potential courses of treatment for the same problem in a variety of people.

I make my decisions about which course of treatment to advise using a combination of experience, knowledge, research and intuition to come to an educated and focused treatment plan for each individual client. I cannot have a quick answer or "one-size-fits-all" approach. I don't believe in it, because it doesn't work. We see this time and time again in Western Medicine. More often than not, my clients come to me from that World because it hasn't worked, often after many years of trying.

Of course there is information out there. Anyone can do a google search or ask other women what they've used or what they've heard and try to use it, themselves but the "know-how" and experience is a bit harder to come by and that is why we hire someone to advise us.

I can't tell you how many women have come to me, after trying every herb and supplement under the sun, willy-nilly ("My doctor said to try this," "This midwife I know said to try that," etc...) and they wonder why they persist in having infertility or other complications. It's not so simple!

I was talking this over with my husband (an Engineer who moonlights as a computer tech) and we discussed why people hire a guy (or gal) to fix their computers. After all, the information is on the internet.

For example, I'm having a problem with my webcam right now in my computer. So I've been trying to troubleshoot. I've uninstalled things, I've reinstalled things. I've asked people in online chat forums. And nothing is working. And what's worse, I may have caused some serious damage to my computer in the process.

Well, now I need to bother my poor, overworked husband, who already has a pretty good idea of what he needs to do to solve the problem, though now he's not sure how many other things I've affected while I was trying to self-solve. He may have to do a Google search himself, when he finally gets the time to fix the problem. But when he does it, it will go much faster, because he knows what he is looking for and what information he can just toss out along the way.

That's a lot like anything else. Yes, there is information out there, but you run the risk of not fixing the problem, or worse doing (major) damage in the process. And, while you may stumble upon the right answer for you, it doesn't mean that you will be able to "recommend" that same thing for somebody else "in your position." This is one of the reasons that alternative medicine has gotten such a bad rap. People say, "Oh, I tried that stuff and it didn't work." (And so on.)

The other issue is that, even if you DO take the time and research needed to find what is right for you on your own, it is faster and safer to hire someone who has the experience and information to point you in the right direction and help you navigate those very vast waters of research that must be waded through.

Often times, the retort is that people don't have money to hire another person to advise them. In my line of work, the alternative is to go to the kupah (Israeli HMO) and get your socialized and standardized Western Medical treatment, for "free" (of course, your tax dollars are paying for that, but it feels free when we aren't handing the money over at the specific moment that we are being "seen.") And what's more, the concept of not having a "protocol," such as there is in Western Medicine, is down right foreign to many. This means that coming to me will yield no "pat" or simple answers that are able to be rattled off without thought or background. And it costs money.

While I understand that money is tight (for most), when we really need help, we will find a way to hire someone for their services. I've personally done this many times over, with the plumber, landlord, private doctors, teachers and so on.

It would be great if everyone could work for free. Unfortunately, it's just not possible. (Nor is it, ultimately, very healthy for either party, but that's a whole 'nother topic. :) )

I do work on a payment plan for my clients, who are in such a situation, and this makes the care affordable and possible for most anybody. It also makes both of us feel responsible and positive about the services rendered.

The bottom line is that each woman (family, situation...) is different and to really find what works, she needs to be treated and viewed as such by someone who has the knowledge and experience to do so.

Client Update

2011-05-04T02:34:00.000-07:00

A quick update on some past clients:

"Eve" shares her amazing, empowering home birth (the baby she conceived with the assistance of Wise Woman Fertility) on the TLC tv show "A Baby Story."

Part 1 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YtLyOyfHkZY
Part 2 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ux9xlvqGuUY&feature=channel
Part 3 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ur5Urr_e1r0&feature=channel
Part 4 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=15J778FO3i4&feature=channel
Part 5 (Bonus/out-takes) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dVoPHJwq7RI&feature=channel

"Raising Wings" writes a very sweet blog about Wise Woman Fertility and presents us with a new gift!

http://raisingwings.wordpress.com/2011/05/04/baby-on-board/

It's a great blog! I espically like the post about the Korean Talmud studies, which lead to a radio interview.

If you would like to share your updates on our blog, send an email to wisewomanfertility@gmail.com.

Thanks! And Mazel Tov to all of the new mamas!

Menstrual Cup Journal: Day 6

2011-04-13T12:34:00.000-07:00

Day 6

Well ladies, let's grab a cup of tea and have a chat shall we? :)

It seems that my menstrual cup journaling has come to an end. From here on out, I'll need to be checking for spotting the old fashioned way, with my old, trusty cloth panty liners.

But I do want to bring you up to speed with how everything panned out.

First of all the cramps were a non-issue after I reinserted. I have no idea why I had them, but it's important to note that they were the only ones I had this entire period. Maybe that's why they stood out so much. Now that is exciting!

Of course, the money the menstrual cup saves you is pretty exciting, too!

Image by Meluna

Today, I tried out the small Meluna cup with the "ball" bottom. The ball bottom is nice and easy to grab on to but Holy Goodness...If that teeny, tiny Meluna didn't get up really high. It took some time to retrieve it. Definitely not going to use that one again. On the upside, there was only one drop of flow in the cup after a full day of wearing it...so, due to my religious requirements, my cup-using time has officially ended, at least for this month.

But here's what I've learned; There is a learning curve with menstrual cups. The softer the cup, the more difficult they are to open but, generally speaking, you feel/notice them less and they more readily conform to the contours of your body.

The firmer menstrual cups open like a breeze and come out easily but because they conform less to your vaginal curves, they might be difficult to position or even begin to fall or slide out at times. This did happen to me once, during a bowel movement, with the "classic" cup (but was not a problem with the "soft" cup).

Success with a menstrual cup relies on your personal preferences, vaginal shape and length. If you have a longer vagina, you would best opt for a larger/longer cup. This also applies to those with a heavy menstrual flow (I've discussed this in a previous journal post). Women with a shorter vagina would do well with a shorter cup. And of course, a woman with a normal to light flow would do just fine with a smaller cup. I personally didn't see the benefit in the small size Meluna. I can only assume that this was created to replace the panty liner that some women use daily. Perhaps it could be used with FAM, but I think it is a bit much. Also, I don't believe it is healthy to wear something internally every day of the month, so I would recommend against that.

Though I obviously required a large capacity cup, I believe that the medium size Meluna is probably sufficient for an average flow, if changed frequently enough during the heaviest days.

I really liked having something additional to grab onto with the Meluna, and though they offer a Meluna without any sort of added bottom (picture here), I would recommend that a newcomer to menstrual cup use go ahead and buy one with the addition.

The long stem gave the most added length to the cup. The benefit is that it could be trimmed to the proper size, or taken off easily and completely if you find that you don't like it. But the Meluna ring bottom, though not as lengthy as the stem, was the easiest to grab onto. For those that know for certain that they do not like a stem or any sort of protrusion, I would still recommend getting the ball bottom. It doesn't add much in the way of length, but it definately makes removal a breeze, compared to not having anything at all.

The great thing about Meluna, compared to the other cups on the market, is that they have the absolute most variety in shape, size, color and style. For those that want a custom made cup, you practically have the option to do that at Meluna. I would love to have something to compare it to, because I am certain that the benefits of other cups made in other materials are equally as noteworthy.

Cyan Colored Menstrual Cup
Image by Meluna

As far as the colors go, as I said in the first post of the menstruation journal, I'm partial to the glitter but also loved the blue/cyan. The truth is that all of the colors were bright, vibrant and fun. For some, this might brighten up your period. :)

Lastly, I still recommend some cloth pads to use as back up or for those days when you would like to take a break from using your menstrual cup. I've seen cloth pads referred to as the "jelly" to the menstrual cup's "peanut butter," for this very reason.

Writing about something as personal as your "first time" using a menstrual cup is quite an interesting experience. I couldn't have done it without your support and positive feedback. Knowing that I was able to help others by sharing my experiences and research has been very rewarding, so I'd like to thank you for reading and contributing your thoughs and suggestions both on the facebook page and the blogs. I hope that this journal encouraged you to try a menstrual cup, too. After all, if I can write about it for the whole internet to see, then certainly you can try it quietly, in the privacy of your own home. :)

And now...

It's time to get a chance to try the Meluna Menstrual Cup for free!

The good folk over at Meluna have generously and kindly donated 5 of their soft, medium, glittery, ring bottom cups for Wise Woman Fertility to give away to our readers!

Image by Meluna

You will get the cup pictured above and a special Meluna storage bag with a Meluna instruction brochure. Wise Woman Fertility would like to, again, thank Meluna for generously donating these and six menstrual cups for personal testing and to use as demonstrations in Wise Woman Fertility programs.

But wait! That's not all!!! Some of our lucky winners will also receive the "jelly;" absolutely fabulous and lush organic, cotton cloth pads made in Israel by Cottna! I love these locally made cloth pads!

Image by Cottna

Four winners will be chosen in Israel and one will be chosen worldwide.

Here is what you need to do to win:

First of all, this giveaway is only open to Wise Woman Fertility readers. If you are not a reader already, follow us here on the blogspot and "like" us on facebook.
Then, share this link. It doesn't matter where. It can be on your facebook, twitter, blog, my space or even as a mass email. Remember that there are more chances to win if you reside in Israel (for this giveaway), so let's help to get the word out to the locals!
Like our sponsors on facebook: Meluna and Cottna.
Finally, leave a comment on this page: Let me know that you follow us both on the blog and on facebook and where you've shared the link. Mention that you've "liked" Meluna and Cottna on facebook. Don't forget to say either "Israel" or "Worldwide" so that I can enter you in the proper catagory.

A winner will be chosen at random using random.org. NOTE: The Date of the Contest's End Has Been Changed: Contest will close on the 3rd of May, 2011.

The Winners have been chosen! Head on over to our Facebook page to see if you've won. Congratulations to all the winners.

Menstrual Cup Journal: Day 5

2011-04-06T11:52:00.000-07:00

Day 5

Well, I'm totally happy to say that my adventures in the menstrual cup have been rather uneventful. Yesterday evening I decided to sleep in the soft cup and found that the "C" fold does work best with a softer cup and a "punch down" works best with a stiffer cup. In both cases, because of the pubic bone in the front, it seems that the cups open easiest if the folded side faces back. I've also learned that one of the air holes on the cup should be right inside the crease of the fold to assist in it's opening quickly and properly in the vagina.

The soft cup is much more comfortable to use. It's not even that I feel the harder cup, but when I've tried both I guess I do realize though much I notice the harder one over the softer one.

This morning, I woke up and my cup was about 1/4th full. That was after a full night sleeping in it. And there were no leaks. That means that I could have gone to bed without my back up pad! So, this morning, I decided to "move down" to the medium size, soft Meluna cup. This one has a ring grip, which I can't tell if I like more or less than the stem, lol. It's easier to find and to pull on than the stem. Of course, I have to reach in further than I do with the stem. But not so much further that it makes any practical difference.

Image by Meluna

This cup went in quickly and easily, more so than the large cup, and is very comfortable. It definitely would not be able to handle my heaviest flow day, but I think for a woman with a normal to slightly heavy flow, this would be totally sufficient for the entire cycle. I also noticed that the "classic" of the same model doesn't feel that much firmer. I mean, yes, it is more firm but perhaps because it's a smaller size it's just less noticeable. So far, so good.

Almost 3 hours later

Okay, so I have not been wearing any back up liner and have not had any leaks. I went to empty the cup and the first thing I noticed was that, with the medium sized cup, I needed to get into a good deep squat in order to insert my thumb and first finger to take it out. With the larger size, I was able to just use one finger to pull the cup (against the pressure of my vaginal wall) out far enough for me to grab hold with two fingers (much easier while sitting on the toilet), not so with the medium cup. It's too far up. (Though for a woman with a short vaginal canal, it might be a perfect fit). The next thing I noticed was that the suction was AMAZING! No wonder women have been finding that use of the cup shortens their periods. I could absolutely see this suction effecting how quickly the menstrual flow makes it way down into the cup. And the third thing I noticed was that my cup just had, literally, a couple drops of menstrual flow in the very bottom. Imagine my surprise! I don't want to speak too soon, but if this continues, I might actually be able to do my first "check" for a "white day" this evening, which would be about 3-4 days earlier than I was able to last month. That is certainly noteworthy! The only issue is that while I was sitting with this medium cup, I noticed a bit of cramping sensation. Now I had washed the cup with soap and water before inserting (after boiling), so perhaps that is the issue, but I also washed the other cups throughout my period with soap and water almost every time I emptied and reinserted them (sometimes I just rinsed with water) and had no issue. I'm going to have to keep an eye on that.

To Be Continued...

Menstrual Cup Journal: Day 4

2011-04-05T15:26:00.000-07:00

Day 4

Well, last night, I woke up with the feeling that I needed to empty the cup, so I got out of bed, went to the bathroom, and it was about half full, but I had leaked 1 drop onto my overnight pad. I managed to empty the cup, rinse and reinsert without even my glasses on and return to bed. In the morning, the cup was half full again, but with no leaks. I decided that this cup does feel a bit stiff and remembered how with the "soft" Meluna, I couldn't even feel it, so I decided to try the "C" fold facing backwards with that and it opened right away, though it was still difficult to tell that it had opened. I find that I need to reach up a bit on the sides to feel the open top half, because the bottom half, with this one, is just so darn squishy it remains squished feeling at the bottom, even though the top is fully open. As it moves up throughout the day, we'll see if that changes, but the top is open, so I know I'm good. Also, I think the suction with the soft cup is much gentler than with the "classic," so that also feels different. It will be interesting to see what happens to my flow within the next 24 hours. As I mentioned in my mikvah post, Jewish women must allow 5 days for bleeding before they can count their "white" days. The question is, will I be done by then? Last week I certainly wasn't. Will the cup shorten my days of flow?

Later

So far very uneventful. I am back to the soft cup...MUCH more comfortable, and I even can gage when it's open now, by using a bit of common sense and checking a bit higher up on the cup after I've inserted. I have to say that now I'm thinking that the Meluna with the ring on the bottom was actually easier to grab hold of than the one with the stem, now! lol. I like the stem, still, because it's longer... but there is less to grab on to, so that makes it more of a challenge. I'm realizing that there are so many potentials for preference. It's also really important to "size" your vagina. Some women have shorter vaginal canals than others, this will affect many factors with your cup.

I went back to wearing a liner today, but it's not necessary. I feel like taking it off. I went 4 hours without changing the cup and didn't leak even a drop. The only danger is forgetting that you have your period! Overall, that's been my biggest challenge. I realize now how much my life revolved around my menstrual flow when I was menstruating in cloth pads only. After 4 days of using the cup (only interrupted by that one night of exceptionally heavy flow where I used pads alone), I think that I might prefer to have some "breaks" from the cup, perhaps overnight, where cloth pads are still crucial. When my period begins to really taper down, maybe I'll give one of these smaller Meluna's a try...

later

A quick word about vaginal secretions and cervical fluid...I still get to keep tabs on this while menstruating. Yippie!

To Be Continued...

Menstrual Cup Journal: Day 3

2011-04-04T13:58:00.000-07:00

Day 3

WOW! I needed to change my cloth pad in the middle of the night and didn't. Now THIS is a heavy flow. This is only my second flow post partum (due to amennohorea caused by breastfeeding) so maybe that is why this is quite a bit funky. At any rate, I had total leak out with the pad. Menstrual flow down my legs, feet...everything soaked. I was able to hop in for a quick shower to rinse off and get the cup back in (again, quickly and easily with the punch down facing back) before the baby noticed I was gone. This is a really intense flow. I'm going to wear an entire pad as back up, not just a liner and see how this goes.

Less than 2 hours later

Busy morning! A bug was in my daughters cereal so she refused to eat it. She wanted oatmeal instead, but while eating the new breakfast, a bug flew into that and she refused to eat again. Now she wants junky fish sticks. Sigh. I ran into the bathroom to do a quick check and sure enough there was some blood on my pad. I took out the cup: pretty much full (full being 3/4th full when NOT tilted). I emptied it and reinserted. This time it was even easier to reinsert, seems that the vaginal canal has really "blossomed" with all of this heavy bleeding. Definitely a cup+pad day. I hadn't counted on that.

Much later

Wow, what a busy day. But here's what I realize. First of all, I'm having an unusually heavy flow. Totally normal for post partum/breastfeeding hormones, but something to be aware of. So I must be vigilant. If I change the cup every hour, I won't have any leakage. Unfortunately, it's hard to homeschool/raise 3 children in 1 hour increments. (Try telling your kids after you get to the park and eat an orange, that it's now time to go home. Sigh.) But I suppose this is only for a short time. So I'll make it work.

Also, punch down fold facing back...amazing! I'm getting really good at this. It must be the fold for me! I'm confident that it's opening up perfectly and I can take it out, rinse it, and reinsert in a matter of seconds! I was even able to take it out and dump it before my son barged in on me last time. Then I was able to put it back in again before he came right in again. And I guarantee you, that's pretty darn speedy!

It seems we are back on track, B"H!

I'm also noticing that once you've found your fold and insert, the whole process goes really really quickly. I'm back to absolutely loving my menstrual cup! Though I confess, I'm now thinking of testing some other types to compare and contrast.

Also, I spoke with a couple of friends (veteran menstrual cup users) about my progress so far. One friend mentioned to me that she can tell if her cup is fully open when she bears down with her pelvic floor muscles and can twist the cup completely and easily in her vagina. Another friend told me that I only need to feel the lower part of the cup and if it's open (if the air got in, in other words), then you are good to go. This has been a better indicator for me. Also, one friend changes her cup once every 2 hours on her most heavy days but the other friend doesn't change more than every 4-6 hours on her heaviest day. Both friends have 4 children. Both agreed that I must be having some funky post partum issues that are making this period heavier than usual. (I want to state, again, that this is post breastfeeding, post partum. I'm still breastfeeding, but this is my second cycle since my now one-year-old baby was born.)

This journal is getting long, but it seems that I have so much to say about this. It seems that I'm also dealing with blood a bit more as I continue on the learning curve. For now, I'm wearing a cloth pad to back up the cup, in case I don't get to the bathroom every hour. I'll keep this up until my flow is less heavy.

Bedtime

Well, it certainly has been a long day, yet my changing of the menstrual cup has been rather uneventful. I'm learning to tell when it's time to change it before it leaks. And my flow has slowed down tremendously (after a dosing of herbs when I started getting a bit concerned about the the overabundance of flow). It was neat to be able to watch that progression and also to see the direct correlation between my activity level and flow. Lots of great information here, literally right at my fingertips.

I also went back to my old notes and to a website I found when I was researching the original menstrual cup blog that I wrote. I wanted to see how the Meluna and Diva Cup and others stacked up against one another, and after spending, quite literally, hours on the site, I can say I have come back a much savvier consumer.(You will find lots of helpful information in the right hand margin with more links, posts and tabs.)

But I also learned here that a menstrual cup is not a menstrual cup is not a menstrual cup. In other words, some women have longer and some shorter vaginas. So certain cups will sit differently for some women than others. But this is just the beginning. Some women have lighter flow and some heavier flow and the rule of thumb is that you want to get a cup that will handle your heaviest flow without having to change often, so this tells me that, so long as I'm having this issue, I should look for a cup with a larger capacity (actually, the Diva Cup seems to have the most capacity of usable space (below the "air holes") but there are other factors. Some women like a "squishier" cup (Meluna's "soft" cups are maybe the squishiest around!) and some like a "firmer" cup. Some really like fun colors and some don't want any dyes (Mooncup UK, for example won't use dyes as a matter of principle, they don't want to use any extra chemicles, which I can respect!) but some claim that the colored cups look nicer longer (less staining). Some cups have reactions with women as far as smell yet those same cups can have no such reaction in a different woman's body (for example, some complained that the Meluna had the smell of, er, "rotting meat" after use. I certainly did not have any such thing, though I suspect what a woman eats would have a lot to do with the smell of her cervical and uterine secretions and, as a result, her menstrual cup.) Some need a firmer cup to get it to open properly, some don't. The list goes on and on.

So, this evening before bed and after my shower, I decided to do an experiment. I took both the "soft" and the "classic" large sized Melunas and decided to try and insert each back to back, since I now have a fold that I like and feel confident about, and I was surprised to find that the soft cup (even after running under cold water) just wouldn't open up for me, but the classic did easily and consistently every single time! So this was a bit of a revelation for me personally. The soft one was much more comfortable, I couldn't feel it at all when it was in, but I think I need a firmer cup to open well for my particular body.

To Be Continued...

Menstrual Cup Journal: Day 2

2011-04-03T13:06:00.000-07:00

Day 2

I woke up in the morning fully expecting leaks. I'm still not sure that I know when this thing is in right or open properly. Surprise surprise...no leaks! (No leaks so far!) Cup was filled about half way. It is SO interesting to see my menstrual blood collected like this. I didn't realize how thick and concentrated it is. It looks so different on cloth pads and toilet paper! And when I dump it out into the toilet everything immediately sinks to the bottom, must be VERY mineral rich. No wonder plants love soaked cloth pad water! HaShem has certainly designed the human body miraculously! Nothing is for waste.

Went to the bathroom and no leaks but when I wiped I DID see blood. (Aside: Even was able to have 2 bowel movements so far with this thing in. That creeped me out a bit. I was scared to do it and also scared to accidentally push it out, but all was well!). Now, how did this blood get past the cup? It wasn't even filled up halfway...was it not open properly? Or is this my signal to change it. Again, I didn't leak, just saw the blood when I wiped. I'm having trouble inserting this again. Cold water wasn't doing it...but I've got an idea. If I roll it up like a burrito/coil, then it immediately bounces back fully open, more so then the "C" fold or any of the other folds. Let's run it under cold water and give it a shot.

Wow! Okay, that worked well...only issue was another "teachable moment" where my daughter walks in the bathroom and asks what's that in my hand. Luckily, as Wise Woman Fertility, this is my job...though I've never actually never been caught in the act like this. I told her it's a menstrual cup and that I'm having my period. She asked if that means that I do or do not have a baby (she couldn't remember which one the period signifies). I answered that this means I don't have a baby. Then she asked if this means that I can't hug and kiss Daddy.

"Yep." I say with nonchalance, "But that's okay."

"But you can only after you go to the water (mikvah)."

"Yep."

Damn she's good.

"So, what's that for?"

I look down in my hand. Ug, the menstrual cup.

"It's a soft cup," I begin while squeezing it gently, "that women put into their vagina's to collect the menstrual flow. Every now and again they take it out of their vagina's and empty it out in to the toilet and then put it back in."

She blinks.

"Of course," I repeat the familiar refrain, "we must be very careful what we put in our vagina's. You are too young to put anything in your vagina, because your vagina is very tiny and you could get hurt, G-d Forbid. But once you get bigger and, B"H, have your period then you will be able to use something like this if you choose...only it would be smaller. Or you could use cloth pads. That's fine, too."

"I'm not going to use something like that. I'm going to use cloth pads when I get my period."

"That's absolutely fine. That's also a great choice!"

She looks at me.

"Now could I have some privacy please, I'd like to put this back in but I would like privacy to do that. It's not very tzinut (modest) with someone watching me."

"Ok."

Whew. Close call.

Back to screwing around with this thing again. Is it open, isn't it open? I'm trying to reach up around the rim to feel if it's open and I just can't tell. Screw it. Close enough. Time to take the kids to the park.

Later that day

Okay, so while at the park I begin to feel that familiar bubbling of menstrual fluid...I can't resist checking my liner discretely. No stains. I guess we are okay.

Even later (at the second park of the day)

I check the liner again. Nothing. But I feel a wet sensation, so I wipe with the cloth liner...is that a tinge of pink? Hard to tell, the liner's colored. Maybe I should get home.

Adventures in the bathroom

Okay, I have 1 drop of blood on the liner. And again, the cup isn't even filled half way. What is the problem...maybe the cup is too soft? Luckily, Meluna has given me their "classic" cup which is much firmer in the same size. This one is colored red. I go for the insert (glad I boiled it earlier!). UG! Still don't really know how to do this. It's not feeling open. I tinker around with it a bit. I pull it out a little, I twist it. Take it out and put it back in. This time I reach up and make sure that the top part is open (because the rest squeezes in, in the vagina... the important thing is not to have a crease that prevents blood from getting inside the cup and instead spilling over the side and leaking out). I hear another familiar pop as I twist the cup around. It seems that everything is open now. Well that went faster. I'm not changing this thing till bedtime now! The only thing that is bothering me is that there is a loop on the bottom of this one (instead of the longer "stem") This means that I either have to try and wear the cup lower or need to fish around for the loop before getting it out. The stem was always easily accessible. No matter. I'm good with my vagina. If it gets lost, I can find it. :)

Several hours later

Okay, I couldn't do it. I went to the bathroom and when I wiped I saw a tinge of blood...WHY?!

YES! I had to take it out. It was almost half full. No leakage anywhere, it appeared to have been totally open, when I grabbed the bottom of the cup it was completely open. That ring has pluses and minuses...it's more to grab on to, but it's a bit higher up than the cup with the "stem." As for the added structure (in "classic" vs. the "soft"), I really like it, particularly for heavy flow days. It seems to be easier to open, though I think once I get the hang of it, I should be able to do this with the soft cup as well. My strategy this time was to go with the "punch down" fold. It seemed okay, except I realize that I need to try and get it open in the right place in the vaginal canal, and I haven't found my "right place" yet. So, I need to reach up and run my finger around the top rim to make sure it is all open. That is certainly easier to feel in the "classic" texture with Meluna. I wonder how this would stack up against some of the other silicone based cups on the market (or the latex, for that matter). From what I can tell with the sample Diva Cups I have for my lectures, they feel about somewhere in the middle of the "soft" and "classic" textures at Meluna, so that is comparable.

Anyways, The pink tinge when I wiped must have been from the pin-hole in the cup. When I took it out to look at it, that pinhole was covered in menstrual flow, so maybe a bit slipped out. No, that's not possible. The hole is really much too small. Or perhaps this is normal and the residual menstrual flow in the vaginal canal when I take out the cup and put it back in so many times (my inexperience, I know) is getting some of the flow down to the opening and showing up on the toilet paper.

Well, it's back in. I just wish I were better at gauging if the cup is fully open or not because when I feel around the sides, it just feels squished together. What does it all mean?!

Nighttime

Wow. I was tucking the little ones into bed and suddenly I felt the familiar feel of menstrual flow. A leak! A MAJOR leak! I kiss the kids goodnight and then run to the shower to bathe and take out the cup. Sure enough, the cup is FULL! That was 4 hours on one of my heaviest day and I filled the cup.

Now here's what I learned.

The cup tilts back (following the path of the vagina, obviously), and once the cup gets too full, it begins to simply spill over the tilted side, hence the leaking. Seems that it is best to change the cup when it is half full.

Of course, who knows when that is unless you experiment.

So using the menstrual cup really forces a woman to get in touch with her menstrual cycle. Not only that...but how exciting to actually see so much of the menstrual flow! It was smooth and cohesive and really something very special to behold. Like what you see after childbirth, but in miniature. And how important! Imagine if every woman used a menstrual cup. She would know if/when she has clots or other abnormalities in her flow. She would also notice if her flow was heavier than normal because she could simply see/measure it! I'm not a big measuring kind of person, but when we are trying to establish facts, it is important to collect things like measurements and this would help me assist women even further!

Can I just say that I have felt a bit bloated, but for the most part, I've completely forgotten that I am having my period.

And ladies, can we talk vulva's for a minute? I don't know about you, but when I'm in a cloth pad, I have some irritation from the constant sitting in wet blood. It's nothing major, but I always feel that my vulva is a bit swollen during this time. Well, I didn't realize until today that this is not a natural occurrence but directly related to sitting in wet blood. Now, all my girl bits are normal size and feel!

And can I say something really wild? If I weren't a Jewish woman bound to the laws of taharat mishpacha and I wanted to get a bit frisky with my hubby during my menses, the cup is the way to go! I could literally walk around stark naked and no one would know or see anything. No tampon string. Heck, you could wear your skivvy skivers, if you were so inclined, with finesse, when using a menstrual cup! I've even heard that some women have sex while wearing the menstrual cup, though every company I've researched advises against it (and clearly this does not offer any birth control protection). Also, I'm not sure how there would be much room for penetration. But hey, might as well mention what I've read.

Now, I started having some second thoughts about wearing the cup to bed. After all, if I filled a cup in 4 hours, seems like 6 or more hours of sleeping might be problematic. I thought about wearing cloth pads just for one night (I actually kind of miss my comfy cloth pads...it's like putting on your favorite pair of pajamas or sweats...) but decided against it. I will go to bed with only a liner and see if, even on my heaviest flow, I can sleep a full night without leakage. After all, this is in the name of Science.

So, I took a shower with nothing and got a reminder of what a heavy flow day looks like. It was a good reminder, because there is something that happens psychologically when you see "blood" coming out of your reproductive organs. You feel a bit sicker, a bit weaker, perhaps. A bit heavier. And my period, so far, has been more psychologically red, er, rosy (ahem) this time around, which I think has to do with not actually (or constantly) seeing, feeling, smelling, etc the menstrual flow.

After my "break" from the cup, it was time to reinsert. I think I've got the hang of this now. This time, I chose the "punch down" fold again, which seemed to be a fold that looked like it wouldn't work when I saw pictures and read about it online, but in practicality seems to be working like a charm, when the punched down end is facing my back. This time re-insertion (in the shower) was a breeze. I felt the cup open quickly and easily and it took just a few seconds. I only had to check the bottom of the cup to know that it was fully open and I felt confident about it. I'm wearing it a bit lower (after thinking perhaps I needed to wear it a bit higher) than I would have liked, but that may actually be good for the nighttime, if it doesn't work itself up on it's own. (I'm finding that no matter where I position the cup, it positions itself within a few minutes of normal activity.) I couldn't believe how quickly and easily I was able to confidently put it in. I don't want to speak too soon, but perhaps my learning curve was only 2 full days. Let's see if the same fold and positioning works tomorrow (or in the middle of the night if I start feeling leaky).

Leila tov (good night).

Okay, I'm back. I saw a bit of blood and decided to take out the cup and see what was going on. IT WAS FULL! If I'm filling the cup once an hour, it is NOT going to work out for the night. Back to the trusty old cloth pads.

Image from Glad Rags

To Be Continued...

Menstrual Cup Journal

2011-04-02T14:17:00.000-07:00

Image by MeLuna

MeLuna recently gifted Wise Woman Fertility with quite a sampling of their menstrual cups to try! As you may remember from my previous post about menstrual cups, they are typically made from silicone or latex but Meluna makes theirs out of medical grade plastic. From what I can see from the extensive research and materials that Meluna kindly sent to me, this is the same sort of plastic that is used in everything from heart valve replacement surgery to baby bottle nipples to hospital oxygen masks. The safety of these plastics seems to be comparable with both silicone and latex.

Meluna was extremely generous in gifting me with 6 menstrual cups to try. I was given 3 of their "soft" texture and 3 of their "classic." Meluna makes 3 sizes, so I was given one of each size, small (which is quite small and would be sufficient for only light flow days), medium (which may be appropriate for a teenager's heaviest days and would certainly be appropriate for the majority of bleeding days of a woman), and large (which is comparable with the other standard cup sizes on the market, as far as diameter, but seems to be slightly shorter than the second model of the Diva Cup.) I have decided to keep a journal of my experience and that dreaded "learning curve" for using this product for Wise Woman followers to read. Perhaps some of my problems and troubleshooting will provide solutions or answers for those who would like to know a bit more about use of the menstrual cup before they buy. And perhaps it will give others the confidence they need to try it.

Day 1

My period began in the morning and I grabbed the largest, softest Meluna that also looked the prettiest (what girl can resist sparkles?!) and placed it in a pot to boil. So. Excited!

5 minutes later

And the Meluna Menstrual Cup is ready for use!(Not all cups recommend boiling, Meluna does)

I march to the bathroom, cup in hand. Now how do I insert this thing? I know there's a "C" fold, a "Punch Down" fold, a "9," "7" and a whole host of other folds. I go for the "C".

Okay, 7 minutes of putzing around here. The darn thing won't open. I QUIT!

Wait. I'll go back and reread my notes about menstrual cups.

Says here that if I rinse the cup under cold water for a few seconds, this might help. Also says I should try the folded side being in back or in front, switch around. Also push in and out a bit, wiggle, turn or twist if I'm having trouble getting it in and to open up.

Cold water did the trick. I heard a distinct "pop" when it opened up. We are up and running!

2 hours later

First time in the bathroom. Weird, I totally forgot that I had my period. Usually I'm feeling very sensitive and a little crampy right now. I'm feel energetic and full of life! Is it because when I pee I don't see any blood soaked pad or smell that familiar smell of menstruation? Hard to say.

I pull out the cup to empty it.

I've barely filled the teeniest, tiniest portion of the bottom of the cup! WHAT?! How can that be? Ug, now to get it back in. Back to rinse in cold water.

Okay, that went a bit faster this time. I think it's opened. I've got a cloth liner on just in case I leak. I wish I could gauge better whether this thing is open or not...there must be a difference between "squished-cup-in-vagina" feeling and "open end of cup fully open" feeling. Wish me luck.

3 hours later

Seriously, why do I keep taking this thing out?! I am BARELY BLEEDING. I could go HOURS with this thing in place. It is SO weird to wipe and not see any blood. It's even weirder how fresh and clean everything looks and smells. I thought there would be blood all over the place with this thing. Yes, I have blood on 3 of my fingers when I take it out and put it in, but other than that, this is amazingly clean. And what's more, I thought that in those 5-10 min it was taking to take it out and put it back in again there would be blood pouring out of me. Not so! No blood at all, really. Just a small tinge.

Later

Well, I went to yoga and felt like singing it was so fun and easy. I was doing all these crazy poses and never even gave a thought to my period. I can't even feel this thing! I've figured out that if I keep the "stem" of the cup right at the opening of my vagina, so it's sticking out just a tiny bit, my body puts it right into place as I walk around and it doesn't go up too far and is also very comfortable and easy to take out. I think when women have trouble pulling it out, perhaps they are putting the cup too far in to their vagina's? At any rate, I didn't change the cup again until I was ready to go to bed. When I took it out I hadn't even filled the cup half way! Now should I wear it to bed? Day 2 and 3 are my heaviest days, and this is overnight. I've NEVER worn anything internally overnight...should I do it? All in the name of science!

To Be Continued...

Mikvah

2011-03-19T14:13:00.000-07:00

It is impossible for a religiously observant Jewish woman, like myself, to speak about menstruation without discussing mikvah. Some Jewish women do not utilize this amazing, holy and ancient opportunity. Some don't even realize that the opportunity exists. And, of course, some who are reading this are not even Jewish.

As always, all are welcome here. I hope that I will be able to impart a bit of wisdom from the Wise Women of Jewish persuasion by sharing with you here. If you have any questions or would care for some elaboration, please feel free to comment below. And it goes without saying that questions and comments will only be accepted that are framed in a kind and respectful way.

Mikvah is an ancient practice. It is one of the 613 commandments (mitzvot), to which a Jew is obliged but has also come to be regarded as one of the "Big 3 mitzvot" that denote a "religious Jew" (the other two being keeping the Sabbath and keeping Kosher). Basically, this mitzvah tells a Jew that in order to be purified from anything which makes you halachically impure (impure according to Jewish Law), one must immerse oneself in a body of "living waters" which is called a "mikvah." There are myriad reasons why one (man or woman) might need to use a mikvah. There are also many reasons why one would want to use a mikvah (and of course could use a mikvah) though they are not required. But, there is a special blessing that is recited only for immersing in a mikvah in the proper time, according to Jewish Law.

This, for example, would not be the time to use the holy blessing. :)

For our purposes, I would like to focus on just one of the many reasons for mikvah immersion, which happens to be specific to women. And of course, this is menstruation.

Like menstruation, mikvah is cycular. There is no end or beginning. Think of it as a dance.

Every month/cycle of a married Jewish life flows to the rhythm of the female partner's menstrual cycle. You could say, it's central to the partnership. There are times when the husband and wife dance together and there are times when they dance separately. Let's begin our explanation at the point of separation, also known as menstruation.

The wife begins her monthly (usually) menstrual flow and if she happens to be dancing with her husband at that precise moment, she would stop.

For, you see, when a woman menstruates, she becomes totally off limits to her husband...and only her husband. All other relationships remain completely the same. It's as if a magical spell is suddenly cast over the husband and wife, where they are no longer allowed to hug, kiss, pass the butter to or even touch one another. They are completely forbidden from any physical contact. (And it goes without saying that intimate relations are completely unthinkable!) Many have the mistaken notion that this is because a woman is "impure." Somehow the truth must have become lost in translation. A woman is not "impure," as many great rabbis have taught us. At least, not in any way we can understand with words.

Biblical "purity" does not equate with "dirty" or "clean." Purity was a spiritual purity to serve a religious purpose. It has a meaning for religious acts (of which "marriage relations" is one of the biggies!) but doesn't really have a practical meaning in today's vernacular. It's a bit lofty, a bit up there in the spiritual realm. And yet, the practical application happens to be extremely down to earth. The husband and wife simply don't touch. They refrain from "sexy" talk...or conversations with innuendos. They won't even sit on the other's bed (think 1950's sitcoms with the twin beds in the room, one for each spouse, that's really how it looks in a religious couple's home during the time of menstruation.)

But, they can and do talk. They share their lives with one another but with a profound and sacrosanct respect for the other's individual space. They create a new and slower pace to their "marriage rhythm." The husband might wait up for his wife while she stays up to read a novel. The wife might make a point to go to her bed at the same time as her husband, even though they are not going to the same bed. Both partners seek to create unity in their separateness and get a new rhythm. A new dance.

A Jewish woman knows that she must allow at least 5 days for the bleeding of the menstrual flow. This means that if she bleeds for two days, she will have to wait out the remaining days as if she were still bleeding, regardless of the appearance of actual blood (if you encounter such a situation, it is imperative to consult with your local rabbi so that you can know if this applies to you in your specific circumstance. I'd also be happy to point you in the right direction with this issue, should your situation require). If a woman bleeds for 7 days, that's fine, too. The difference is that she can immediately begin counting her "white days" after the blood has ceased, since she's already met her requisite 5 days for bleeding.

Ah. You thought you were in the clear, did you? Nope! After the Jewish woman has finished her menstrual flow she begins to count 7 "white days" which are literally days without any flow or spotting from the menses. It is only after this period of time that a woman may enter the mikvah.

What this means, practically speaking, is that for at least 12 days, a religiously observant Jewish couple will not touch one another, share a bed, etc... Of course, this could be more than 12 days, depending on how long the menstrual bleeding lasts (before the woman can begin counting the 7 "white days") and if there was any spotting or menstrual bleeding during the "white days" (in which case, she would have to start counting the 7 "white days" again, from the beginning).

Now by the time the woman is ready to immerse herself in the mikvah, both husband and wife are ready to dance together again. They miss the touch of their partner. The embrace. The sex! (well, they do!) So it is a very special time. It is also a very private time, as everybody on the block (or in your community) would know when you were "knockin' boots," if they just happened to walk past the mikvah while you were on your way in. So generally speaking, an aura of secrecy is usually wrapped around this whole ritual.

First of all, mikvah immersion happens under the cover of darkness. There are a few reasons for that. One is that, before the "modern mikvah" was created (bringing "living waters" into the safety, privacy and security of a building), women would need to go to a natural body of water for immersion. Because a woman needs to fully undress to immerse and was completely open to the elements (and prying eyes), the darker the better. Even now, when using a mikvah in a building, many women don't want to be seen coming or going. The cover of darkness takes care of much of that. But nighttime also signifies the beginning of a new Jewish day in the Jewish calendar. Going to the mikvah in the evening is a way of starting off the day on the right foot, so to speak. (Or, the halachic precept to not delay in the performance of a mitzvah) Of course, nighttime is the most convenient time (for many) for sexual relations and for a husband and wife who have been off limits to one another for in the ballpark of about two weeks, they are probably going to want to become reacquainted as quickly as possible, post-mikvah. This timing makes that really convenient.

No, Susie! You can't use your snorkel in the mikvah.

So, the woman waits until sundown to take off for the mikvah. She grabs her "mikvah" sack and heads out the door, walking or driving to her mikvah of choice. If she is headed to a "modern" mikvah, which most women in Western Society are, she will very much look forward to a relaxed night away from the responsibilities of home.

She may need to have called in advance to make an appointment (which can be done anonymously) or she may arrive during regularly scheduled mikvah hours.

When she arrives, she will usually be met by soft or relaxing music or perhaps silence. She will be shown to a "readying room" by the female attendant responsible for the mikvah that evening called the balanit or attendant (or less colloquially, "Mikvah Lady") where she will set down her sack and make herself at home.

The "ready room" will often times have two parts. One will be a space for quiet reading or prayer and the other will look like a bathroom. There will be a toilet, bathtub and shower. Towels and slippers may or may not be provided (hence the mikvah sack), though soap, shampoo, dental floss, nail polish remover and other toiletries typically are. It is here that the woman is expected to take anywhere from 1-2 hours for her mikvah preparations.

For a woman to immerse in the mikvah, she must be completely free of any barriers that might come between her and the mikvah waters. This means no make-up, nail polish, stray hairs on her back, legs, arms or elsewhere, jewelery, contact lenses, glasses, or clothing. It is here that a woman will strip away any of those barriers that she can see before moving into the tub to soak off the barriers that she can't (ie, dirt, grime or other particles on the body). Many women claim that this process makes them feel sensual and like a princess. If a woman chooses to shave her legs or underarms, she would do that now. She would brush and floss her teeth. She would pumice her heals or loofah off any dry skin. It's a time for the Jewess to pamper herself with warm water and rich, cleansing soaps. It should come as no surprise that mikvah is often confused with a spa treatment.

After the woman has completed her bath, she will have a final, quick shower to rinse away any left over hairs or debris. She will comb through her hair and check that, from the top of her head to the soles of her feet, there are no barriers. When she is fully ready to immerse she will signal the attendant (this is often times done with a bell) that she is ready to immerse in the mivkah.

The attendant will meet her in the mikvah room, which is typically an adjacent room to the ready room. Usually, there is a door leading out from the ready room right into the mikvah room. The women will come into the room wearing, typically, slippers and a towel or bathrobe, for modesty. Many women will turn away from the attendant to open their towel or robe, so they can look down and check that no lint or stray hair has fallen on their front. The mikvah attendant will then check the woman's back for any stray hairs and perhaps help her to check the soles of her feet for any dirt or grime that might have become stuck along the way and once everyone is confident that there are no barriers, the woman will immerse into the mikvah.

The mikvah, incidentally, will appear to most women to be like a miniature swimming pool. There are specific measurements that the mikvah must adhere to for it to be a kosher mikvah. Typically the water is fairly deep, (the woman's breasts should be covered completely while standing at the deepest part) but also wide enough that the woman can dunk her body under the water without touching any of the walls around her. The mikvah will even have the familiar chlorine smell of a swimming pool. It will also, usually, be heated to a comfortable temperature. Because of the elaborate preparations, upkeep, and extreme importance in Judaism (a Jewish community is commanded to build a mikvah even before building a synagogue!) mikvot are almost always impeccably clean.

The woman will dunk with the attendant watching to both make sure that she doesn't slip, fall, or otherwise get hurt while immersing (basic water safety) but also making sure that all of her hair goes under the surface of the water and that she doesn't touch the walls at the sides while she is immersing. When the woman pops up from her first immersion the attendant will pronounce it "Kosher" and the woman will say the ancient blessing reserved for this holy and sacred occasion. Then she will dunk again as ofter or as few times as she would like, until she is ready to leave the mikvah. At this point the attendant will make sure that she has exited the mikvah safely, usually covering her face with the woman's towel and then handing it to her while turning her head and leaving the room (to preserve modesty). The women will exit from their respective doors (the same which they entered from) and the woman will put on lotions or creams, make-up, jewelry, clothes and whatever else she chooses before exiting the room and leaving a charitable donation on the way out of the building. At this point, the woman returns home to her husband to begin a new dance. The double beds get pushed together. Husband and wife hold hands and giggle like newly weds. Holiness and intimacy is restored in the marriage. It is a very special time.

...And also super fun!

So now let's recap, but do so by overlaying this experience on the calendar of a woman's menses.

Day one is the day of separation.

5 days are the minimum allowed for the bleeding menstrual flow. (For those of you that already use FAM, you may notice the correlation between this and the "first 5 days rule.")

Then 7 days follow of complete and continued abstinence. Mikvah day would be around day 12 of the cycle, but it could be later.

In the Western Medical Model, the "perfect" cycle is 28 days with ovulation occurring on day 14. This, of course, would get a woman to the mikvah 2 days before that, at the earliest, which should provide a bit of wiggle room for those ovulating a bit earlier. This means that women are coming home from the mikvah around the time that they should just be coming into their fertile phase. The couple has complete freedom and access to intimacy during this time and all of the days leading up to the reappearance of the menstrual flow.

"Neat-o!" You say. And it is. It's such a sophisticated understanding of a woman's cycle, fertility and need to have some private time to nurture herself so that she can feel "ready" to maximise her baby making potential, should she so desire. Imagine how helpful this would be for couples going through the endless rigors of infertility. So many couples complain that sex is a chore, but if they had the separation as a bit of incentive, perhaps it would all feel a bit more organic.

But there are problems. One of the biggest is that some women are ovulating before they get to the mikvah.

For many, they loose hope right here, never realizing that there are things that they can do to eliminate the problem.

I have helped many to delay their ovulation, naturally, so that they are able to go on to conceive quickly and easily. With G-d's Help, I hope to continue to facilitate this in those who need the remedy.

And this brings us full circle, both in the cycle of a woman and in the Menstruation Series here at Wise Woman. I hope that you enjoyed learning a bit about the miracle of menstruation and what you can do to improve your health and fertility in relation to your cycle.

Perimenopause

2011-03-10T15:03:00.000-08:00

Throughout the ages, a woman's life has traditionally been divided into three parts; Maiden, Mother and Crone.

In our Menstruation Series, we have devoted much time on the transition from the Maiden (traditionally a pre-menstruating woman) to the Mother (only a woman who is part of the menstrual cycle can become pregnant, and therefore be a biological mother).

Maiden learns about her body. If she's lucky, she's been given some great information by the Wise Women in her life about these changes. And she grows into her time of Motherhood gently and confidently, feeling knowledgeable and empowered about her fertility.

Mother continues to learn and grow. For many, this is the first time that they really learn about their bodies and reproductive organs and how it all works. Mother learns about her cycles and her unique response to all things fertility related. When ailments come into her life through her reproductive organs, Mother listens and creates a quiet space where she can hear the message her body is sending. Mother moves to her own rhythm and begins to usher in the next generation with her body, heart and head.

But then we have "The Change."

Let's do some free association, shall we?

Menopause.

Ah yes, now we have come to The Crone. In ancient times, The Crone was the Village Wise Woman. She was the one who brought healing to the sick, traveled at all hours to heal her community. Crone was the ultimate woman. Medicine Woman. The one all women went to for guidance. The Woman Whisperer. And so forth.

Throughout the ages, The Crone has been thrust from her regal position. I'm reluctant to say this, but it is a well-documented fact that the early Church (among others) directed myriad attacks on these Wise Women. Remnants from this history surface today, in imagery of The Witch; an old dried up, ugly and wrinkled woman who turns men into frogs and casts evil spells on her adversaries. Never mind her connections with the occult and Satan worship. Yes, The Crone has certainly gotten a bad rap in modern times. But we must remember, in the tradition of the Wise Woman, The Crone was beautiful and strong. Graceful and wise. Gentle but firm. She could be found brewing medicines with herbs to heal her children and their children and her neighbor's children and you were expected to be right by her side, helping in the kitchen. How else would you ever be able to become a Wise Woman, yourself?

So much about The Modern Crone remains a mystery. No woman wants to get "old." No woman is taught to love her wrinkles, her flabby skin and, yes, even the wart on her nose. But the fact remains that The Crone awaits for us, as she does for all women, and we can only gain our own self respect during this time by winning back hers.

So let's begin with the basics. When do we become The Crone?

Becoming The Crone is a process, not an overnight event. The medical definition of menopause is when a woman ceases to have a menstrual cycle, permanently, for at least one consecutive year. But this is no simple matter, as many would-be-Crones eventually find out. Menopause is preceded for most, if not all, by a period called perimenopause. Perimenopause is the period of time when a woman's cycles change and begin to phase out of her life. This period of time can take anywhere from a matter of months to, most usually, 10 or more years. It is a gradual process and one that is typically fraught with confusion. But it needn't be.

One of the keynote signs of perimenopause is the woman's age. Perimenopause can begin as early as age 35. Though for many, it will occur about 10 years later. Perimenopause comes with a wide variety of symptoms. This may include periods coming closer together (shorter cycles) or further apart (longer cycles...or "skipping months"), insomnia, hot flashes, mood swings, body weight changes, lighter or heavier periods, etc... Basically, it is any change in the regular pattern of menstruation that persists during the above age ranges. Modern Medicine will tell you that you are now becoming infertile. Statistics will tell you that if you do conceive a baby during this time, the odds of that baby having Down's Syndrome or other chromosomal birth defects increases significantly. They also tell you that your odds of becoming pregnant with multiples increases. There are many theories about why this is. Many older women will recount how their doctor told them that their "eggs go bad" as they get older. Or that the body "puts out it's last efforts" in the event of multiples. But it is important to remember that these are only theories.

The late, great Dr. Robert S. Mendelsohn suggests that the babies of many "older" mothers have a higher rate of chromosomal abnormality because of the cumulative effects of x-rays on their reproductive systems. The basic gist here is that the older one gets, the more x-rays (think yearly visits to the dentist) one has had in her life, and this, not the mother's age, is what is altering the genetic material of her eggs. Ditto for sperm. But that is neither here nor there. The point is that a woman in perimenopause often times finds Western Medicine less than helpful in assisting her to conceive during this time. If a mother age 35 or over does conceive a baby, she is referred to, in Western Medicine, as a Senile gravida. If it's her first baby, she's an Elderly prima gravida. And of course, if she is experiencing infertility, she is simply referred to as a case of Advanced geriatric status. Signs of perimenopause are even more eluding to Western Medicine. A perimenopausal woman might be taken aback to learn that, according to her doctor, she has Premature ovarian failure or one of their other, less discreet titles.

Look, I'm here to tell you a few truths from the Wise Women.

Menopause is a process. It takes time and it is normal and healthy for it to take time. You can and probably still are fertile during this time and you need to know your fertility signs now more than ever, if you want to conceive a baby or avoid conception. Because perimenopausal women may not be ovulating as frequently (and may have multiple ovulation when they do), becoming pregnant may take some time and careful observation, but you can maximise your chances of a quick and easy conception by using FAM and by consulting with an herbalist who can help you determine which herbs (if any) might be appropriate to help you along in the process.

I look forward to assisting you on your journey to Motherhood while in your perimenopausal years. Having children at this time can be a very rewarding, fulfilling and beautiful experience for those who choose it.

All in Good Health,

J. Rivkah

Menstruation Part IV: Cloth Pads

2011-03-06T14:46:00.000-08:00

Cloth Pad photos courtesy of Glad Rags

As I mentioned, my first fore into the alternative menstrual product world was with cloth pads, a.k.a. "rags," "Moon Rags," "Mama Cloth," "lochia landing strips" (for the post-partum among us) and so on and so forth. Basically, they are all the same thing, menstrual "napkins" made from cloth that are worn inside the underwear during menstruation to catch and absorb the menstrual flow.

Many women are first introduced to the idea of cloth pads via their exposure to cloth diapers. For an article I wrote about that, please click here. It's not that big of a mental leap. You cloth diaper your baby. The cloth diapers work well and are a superb financial investment. You are dealing with the bodily fluids of urine and feces...why not add another (menstrual blood" to the mix?!

Or perhaps you are like a friend of mine who, after spending minutes going on and on about how wonderful it is that we are cloth diapering our children, how environmentally responsible it is for Mother Earth, how smart it is financially and how one day she, too, would like to do that when, B"H she is blessed with children, was taken aback when I suggested that she could do just the same right now, even before babies came into the picture.

"How?"

"Cloth pads, of course."

"Ewwwww....."

It's strange, because, personally, the idea of touching poop, pee and vomit belonging to another person has a greater "ewww" factor for me than touching my own menstrual blood. But there you have it. "Ewwww..."

I think this goes right back to our ideas about women. Why they should look and smell perfumed and sterile when they are menstruating and why their tampons and pads must be "sterile white" appearing (though they most certainly are not sterile!) But I digress...

Some of us were introduced to cloth pads when we were diagnosed with a women's health "disease." Or when it became clear that the pain we were experiencing during our periods precluded using an internal menstrual product.

Disposable Pads

There are lots of reasons that ladies prefer pads. They have those nifty wings that provide coverage on the sides and wrap around your underwear. They have a super absorbent pad that sits directly against your skin. You can change them frequently without too much of a hassle. In a word, pads are gentle, non-invasive and pretty darn convenient.

And cloth pads are no exception. In the 16 years that I have used cloth, I don't think that I have ever had a leak on to my underwear or my clothes. Cloth pads typically have "wings" that attach (with a snap or even velcro), just like a disposable pad. Because of the friction of cloth against your cloth underwear (and with the additional help of the wings), they have no problem staying in place.

Glad Rags Overnight Pad

Cloth pads also come in many sizes. Typically they are made in an "overnight" or "postpartum" large size, a medium "day pad" size and a panty liner. There are all sorts of variations. Cloth pads are made by all sorts of people, from major companies to work at home mothers (WAHM) running a cloth pad business. You can even make them yourself! Cloth pads come in many different of systems, as well. You can get "all in one" pads, which are just one piece, with a super absorbent material (such as hemp) sewn into the inside of the pad. Or a "pocket" pad (for those who cloth diaper, you will notice the familiar terminology), which is an absorbent pad with one or more inserts that can be removed for easier cleaning and quicker drying time and more control over absorbency or even a system that includes a liner with wings that is worn all day that contains snaps. Each time you change your pad, you just snap off the top pad and snap in a new pad, without ever having to change the liner. This means that the wings will always be in the proper position without having to realign the pad. Cloth pads are also made of a variety of materials, colors and designs. Some prefer micro fleece, some organic 100% cotton, some will only use hemp, some like plain unbleached or organic solid prints and colors, some will opt for bright colors and patterns. There seems to be a cloth pad on the market for every possible preference.

Cloth pads can last for years. I still use the first cloth pad I ever bought, made by a well-known company called Glad Rags, 16 years later. There are no signs of staining and the pad is still going strong. I can't say that about every cloth pad company. Glad Rags certainly win the "work horses" award, in my book, though there are many completely valid and viable options. And I have been very happy with a couple of companies in particular.

Glad Rags Bucket Kit

The thing about cloth pads is that you need to take care of them. If you take care of them, they will take care of you. In exchange for the feeling of sitting on a soft, comfy, super slim pillow, I make sure to rinse out my cloth pads after every use. If I'm in a public restroom, I put the pad into a waterproof bag (most cloth pad companies sell them or you can make your own) and then carry it home to put it under running water, ringing out the blood into the sink (or shower) until the water runs clear. Some suggest soaking the pads in water until you are ready to wash, and using the mineral rich menstrual blood filled water to water plants or herbs in the garden. I used to do this myself and will again, when I don't have curious little hands about. Washing cloth pads is a breeze! Pop them into the washing machine with a tiny bit of soap (much like cloth diapers, power soap in small amounts works best) with a drop or two of tea tree oil (to eradicate potential smells and disinfect the pads) and hang to dry or toss in the dryer. The load is small, so you aren't using much water, and they dry very quickly, particularly if you are using pads with inserts or that some in multiple parts.

Many mothers I know will wash their cloth pads in the same load as cloth diapers or even toss in well soaked or rinsed cloth pads with the regular laundry. In this case, you might want to do an extra rinse. Of course, cloth pads can also be washed by hand.

It is easy to transition to cloth pads. Simply purchase one and try it out. Toss it in the laundry with your other clothes and get a feel for what a difference cloth makes. Then buy another and slowly but surely, your cloth pad "stash" will begin to grow. I noticed an end to my period pain when I was using only cloth for a few days in a row.

And now, I'd like to announce another Menstruation Madness Giveaway, sponsored by one of my very favorites: Glad Rags!

Glad Rags has very generously offered to send a color cloth pad sample kit, created espically for Wise Woman Fertility readers, consisting of: one overnight pad, one day pad and one panty liner. This giveaway is open to all Wise Woman Fertility readers, internationally!

Registering to win is simple!

1.) First you must be a follower of Wise Woman on facebook
2.) Second, follow the Wise Woman blog by clicking "follow" underneith this post.

You will receive an additional bonus entry by sharing this link on your facebook, my space, blog, twitter or other pages. This just in: Get a second bonus entry for liking Glad Rags on Facebook!

3.) Leave a comment here letting me know that you are a follower on both facebook and the blog (and where you shared the link, for your bonus entry). And let me know what YOU would like to know more about related to menstruation! :)

One winner will be chosen at random (using http://www.random.org/) on March 15 , 2011.

Our deepest thanks to Glad Rags for sponsoring this giveaway and for donating a copy of Menstruation Sensation to Wise Woman Fertility and a day pad to the "Wise Daughters" and public speaking programs.

And as always thanks to you, the Wise Woman readers for entering the giveaway.

Good luck!

Menstruation Part III: The Alternatives

2011-02-23T14:00:00.000-08:00

After my initial surgery for Endometriosis and upon refusing my doctor's prescribed treatment of "Lupron Therapy," I realized that proceeding within the Western Medical Model came with great risks. I needed another way to fight this disease. It was at this point in my research that I stumbled upon some information about monthly menstrual products.

I learned that both disposable pads and tampons were full of highly toxic chemicals that could be contributing to my monthly pain and infertility. I also learned that some women had claimed their pain had been all but eradicated by the use of alternative menstrual products. Terrified to put anything inside my body, post hysteroscopy/laparoscopy, I immediately purchased some cloth pads. My pain was greatly diminished almost immediately and I credit cloth pads with a large part of my recovery (along with diet and lifestyle changes) and continue to use them to this day. (I will further address the issue of cloth pads in a later post.)

But active women's lives require more options than cloth pads and so I began to ask my friends and later clients about what they used when they needed to go swimming, do yoga, belly dancing, ballet or to attend other activities/events which required the use of an internal menstrual product. I was shocked to learn that there was another option available, besides tampons, that was safe, effective and, unlike tampons, was not associated with the risk of Toxic Shock Syndrome.

This is the menstrual cup.

Menstrual cups are not new. They have been around for about 80 years and, of particular note to this former professional actress, were developed by an American actress looking for exactly the same sort of product that I was.

Basically, they are little bendable, flexible cups that are typically made out of natural gum rubber (latex) or silicone (appropriate for those with latex allergies) that a woman folds up and inserts into her vagina during her menstrual period. Once inserted, and with a little positioning, the cup opens/blossoms out and creates a seal within the vagina, where it remains to catch the menstrual flow. The woman is encouraged to empty the cup, about as often as she would change a pad (but some women find they can wait for up to 12 hours), directly into the toilet. She then would wash her hands and rinse out the cup (or wipe off with toilet paper, if in a public restroom) and reinsert. The cup can be boiled to sterilize and it is reused with each flow. Menstrual cups can last up to 10 years, so the financial savings is immense. Because they are made from materials that have been time tested and medically approved for use in the body, menstrual cups are safe and, from what I understand, extremely comfortable to use.

Many women claim that (when inserted properly) the cup cannot even be felt within the body. But what is best about the product is that, because it catches menstrual flow as opposed to absorbing it, there are no toxic chemicals or bleaches sitting inside a woman's reproductive organs and no interference with cervical fluid (which is of particular importance when reading your fertility signs with FAM). As an additional bonus, many women claim that use of the menstrual cup actually shortens their days of menstrual bleeding. It has been hypothesised that this may be because of a "vacuum" effect that is involved in the seal of the cup in the vagina. This would help to "draw down" the blood so that the menses becomes more efficient. For religious Jewish women who are ovulating a day or so before the mikvah, this would certainly be worth looking into as a way of remedying this particular "fertility problem." I do want to add that no company that I am aware of who manufactures the menstrual cup makes this claim, but anecdotal evidence seems to abound both on popular web forums, reviews and even amongst my own friends and clients.While there are no guarentees that it will make your period shorter, it is certainly worth a try.

All of these reasons really make the menstrual cup the ideal internal menstrual product for those who are trying to conceive (TTC) with the methods recommended by Wise Woman Fertility.

And now it gives me great pleasure to announce the first Wise Woman Fertility blog giveaway, open WORLDWIDE.

One of the leaders in menstrual cup production, The Diva Cup, has graciously offered to donate one of their famous silicone menstrual cups to Wise Women Fertility blog readers!

To enter, please follow these 3 steps.

1.) First head on over to the Diva Cup page and "like" them.

2.) Then, scroll down to the bottom of this page and click the "follow" button for Wise Woman Fertility in order to follow us on our blogspot.

You get a bonus entry if you like us on facebook. You get an additional bonus entry if you "share" this link with others. This can be on your facebook page, twitter, my space or your own blog!

3.) Finally post a comment under this post with your name and an email address where I can reach you, in the event that you've won. Be sure to state within that post if you applied for the bonus entries, telling me specifically that you liked the page on facebook and where you shared the link to this post, and I will add the additional entries to your name. Only one post per person.

One winner will be picked at random (using random.org) on Monday, March 7th, 2011.

(Fun factoid: this date corresponds with the first day of the new Hebrew month of Adar, the month of "joy.")

Thanks to The Diva Cup for their generous donation and also for donating a Model 1 Diva Cup, for demonstration purposes, to the "Wise Daughters" and public speaking lectures offered by Wise Woman Fertility.

And thanks to you for entering!

Good luck!

Menstruation Part II: What Do We Do With All That Blood?

2011-02-19T10:11:00.000-08:00

We just can't run off to the red tent and bleed into the ground, neglecting our children, husbands/partners, jobs and other duties, can we? We need something to collect that menstrual flow!

Well, if you're like me, you were taught that the thoroughly "modern woman" will use disposable pads or tampons. With disposable pads, you rip off the backing, revealing the sticky tape with wings underneath the firm, bleached, white cotton pad. Then you press this tape into your underwear and bleed onto the pad, while going about your normal business.

Yes there are sometimes leaks. Yes there is that crinkly plastic sound from the encasing of the disposable pad. Yes the pad sometimes shifts around. But this is all just a day in the life of a menstruating woman.

Or, if you're really savvy, you grab that tiny wad of bleached out white cotton on a string, either with or without an applicator (usually plastic, but sometimes "eco friendly" cardboard) and stand, as the tampon pamphlet recommends, with one leg up on the toilet (or squatting) take a deep breath and insert it directly into your vagina. Don't forget to grab a "panty liner" (just a smaller version of the pad) to line your underwear against leaks from the tampon.

After a certain amount of time, you squat and bear down to remove the tampon by the string. It plops right into the toilet or garbage. Ewwwww. Out of sight. Out of mind.

Or rip that pad right off of your underwear by the wings and fold it up in a tiny package, placing it in the plastic wrapping of your clean and fresh new pad and dispose of it in the garbage. Forget about it. It's gone.

Women go through mountains of these in their lifetimes. Through 40 years of menstruating, they can easily fill an entire garbage truck with their discarded menstrual products. And of course, there is the expense. When you "invest" in disposable pads, you are literally throwing your money into the garbage. In the case of tampons, the toilet. Not to mention the pollution of our Earth with potentially contaminated bodily fluids. This enters our waterways. It enters our landfills. In a word, it's gross.

And we haven't even gotten to the promise of poison entering out bodies and bloodstreams.

You see, most women haven't stopped to think about how those tampons and pads got so pristine and white (or even more disturbing, why). Toxic bleaches were used in the process. And a byproduct of that process produces dioxins, which are cancer causing substances. And of course, those are mixed with the chemicals in the plastics and glues that attach both strings to tampons and pads to underwear. Bleaching agents, fragrance, alcohol, aluminum, toxins and other various chemicals abound in these menstrual products. Women often times feel dry or itchy and irritated or notice bumps or chaffing in the genital region as a result. In the case of tampons, shards of artificial fibers imbed in the vaginal and cervical tissues causing small rips and tears. Some women experience Toxic Shock Syndrome, which can cause a flu-like illness...or can be fatal. And don't let the advertising fool you. Even with all those chemicals, disposable pads and tampons, contrary to popular myth, are not sterile.

These chemicals are worn in and on our vaginas 24 hours a day for about a week every single month that we are menstruating.

Does it come as any shock that many of us have vulvar pain, infertility or other complications?

Look, I'm not blaming all women's health issues on disposable menstrual products, but I certainly can't make the statement that they don't contribute to said problems.

Can you?

Can anyone?

In fact, I'm willing to make the statment that they do contribute to at least some of the women's health issues that have become so prevelant in our current day.

Thankfully, there are other options out there.

More about that in the next post...coming soon. And be on the lookout for FREE GIVEAWAY surprises! :)

Menstruation for Dummies

2011-02-17T10:48:00.000-08:00

Okay, so maybe we're not dummies. After all, how many of us remember what we learned in 6th grade health class. Sure, they separated the boys from the girls (was that really such a great idea?) but there was still all that giggling. And the embarrassment! And that sweating, droning health teacher who acted as though she held all the secrets to the mysteries of our bodies. As if we could let on that she really did know more than us...

At any rate, now we are all adults, and this calls for a refresher. Some of you are old pros. Some have just learned that the vagina (where menstrual flow and babies come from, also the organ/muscle that is utilized in sexual intercourse) is different from the urethra (the hole between the vagina and the clitoris, where urine exits the body). That's all okay. After all, this doesn't often come up in polite conversation. Especially the part about how the clitoris is analogous to the head of a man's penis and is responsible for 70% of women's orgasms.

But moving right along...

One of my services is to explain to young women about their bodies and how they grow and change as we get older. It's a heavy subject, so I try to make it fun and lively, which is why I bring the pear...and the walnuts.

Picture an upside-down pear. That little, green fruit filled with succulent juices. Yum. This is your uterus. Or at least the approximate size and shape of your uterus. Now the uterus is rounded on the top and narrow on the bottom, just like the pear. That narrow part of the pear is much like your cervix. About where the stem on the pear would be is where one would find the cervical os. It's pronounced "ahsss," which is sort of how a British English speaker might pronounce "ass" if they weren't so busy saying "arse" all the time.

Ug, I'm reverting to 6th grade humor again. :)

To continue, at the "top" of the upside-down pear (or the widest part of the pear) we would find the fallopian tubes. One on each side and both completely connected to the uterus. The fallopian tubes, by the way, are about the width of a strand of hair.

So now you've got your upside-down pear with two strands of hair sticking out of it. Good. We're making progress. :)

Now here is where the walnuts come in. You see, the walnuts are the ovaries. Well at least they are about the same size and shape as your ovaries. And you have two of those also. One on each side, slightly below where the hair ends. Yes, unlike what most textbooks seem to demonstrate, the fallopian tubes are NOT also connected to your ovaries. Only the uterus. Those ovaries are filled with millions of tiny eggs. These eggs were in your body before you were even born. All little baby girls (barring unusual circumstance) are born with all of their eggs already inside their ovaries. Each egg is about the size of a grain of sand.

So now that we've got the reproductive system down, how do we end up with a period?

Since women's body rhythm's are cycular, it's impossible to have a beginning and end, since the cycle continually perpetuates itself, but for our purposes (and because we need to start the explanation) let's begin with day 1 of the cycle, which is the first day of bright, red menstrual flow. Notice I am not using the term "bleeding." Bleeding is just a part of the menstrual flow, which also involves tissue and other components of the endometrium. So we begin bleeding with a bright, red menstrual flow (not spotting). A woman might even notice feeling a bit colder around this time. This is because her temperature is dropping. It's a slight drop, but a drop nonetheless. And it will not come back up into the same higher range until after the woman has ovulated. This is very important when trying to understand our fertility and why you may have heard about women taking their temperatures when trying to conceive (TTC).

Once the menstrual flow begins (and even in the few days leading up to this event), the pituitary gland (located in the base of the brain...that's quite a distance from the vagina!) has begun secreting a hormone called FSH (follicle stimulating hormone). This hormone is...you guessed it...causing the eggs in your ovaries to become mature. This process of maturity actually causes a cyst to form within the ovary and then a race begins. The many cysts, or follicles, begin to grow until at least one begins to actually press out of the ovary, so that, in western medicine, it is visible on an ultrasound. This is usually the point where a doctor trained in the western medical model will begin to speak about "cysts on the ovaries" or "poly cystic ovarian syndrome/disease" (PCOS). But, having follicles on the ovaries is the keynote sign of a normal, healthy, functioning reproductive system. At least at this point in the cycle. At any rate, as these cyst/follicles are growing right up and out of the ovary, the body is also releasing another hormone called LH (luteinizing hormone) which further assists in "ripening" the follicles.

Now this is the cool part that I never really "got" until I had deeply studied the reproductive system, but both the estrogen and, later, the progesterone in a woman's cycle actually comes from these follicles, albeit at different stages of their "lifetime."

It is when these follicles are maturing that they begin secreting estrogen into the woman's body. At this point, a whole host of biofeedback occurrences take place, which are not completely understood by modern science, but basically, one follicle begins to become dominate while the other ripening follicles begin to recede and deteriorate back within the ovary. Sometimes more than one follicle continues to develop and this would cause the ovulation of multiple eggs, potentially leading to fraternal twins, triplets, or more, should the woman become pregnant. Of course, this is also what is being done to the body when Clomid and injectibles are being used to hyper-stimulate the ovaries.

The estrogen released by these follicles are causing our fertility signs to materialize. (These are the signs I will teach you how to read at our first appointment, or you can get a head start by reading Taking Charge of Your Fertility, 10th Anniversary Edition: The Definitive Guide to Natural Birth Control, Pregnancy Achievement, and Reproductive Health ) It is also causing the lining of the inside of the uterus to grow, so that it is blood rich and ready to support and nourish a forthcoming embryo.

Eventually, a follicle becomes fully grown and the body reaches an "estrogen threshold." At this point the pituitary gland signals a surge of first LH and then FSH, which causes the body to ovulate.

Now what is ovulation? Well, picture a volcano erupting. That is exactly what it looks like. The egg just shoots right out of the ovarian wall right out of it's fluid filled cyst/follicle. This fluid now becomes the corpus luteum and begins producing progesterone! It is here that the temperatures of the woman rise. Some actually noticeably feel warmer at this time in their cycle.

But wait! We now have an egg floating around freely in the pelvic cavity. Thankfully the hairs on the end of the fallopian tubes are doing their job of drawing the egg into the tubes where it must already have a sperm waiting in the outer 1/3rd of the tube to fertilize it, if we are to have a live, healthy baby. (I, personally, think this is the biggest miracle of the entire process.)

Sperm, meet egg. Egg, meet sperm. Sperm penetrates the egg, and the resulting embryo begins to divide as it continues in it's travels down the fallopian tube and into the uterus where the cushy, plush uterine lining (aka, the endometrium) is waiting to provide it's home. Embryo enters uterus and burrows itself into the endometrium and begins to secrete HCG (human chorionic gonadotropin) causing the corpus luteum to extend their lives of progesterone production. Or there is no growing baby. In which case the natural life of the corpus luteum comes to an end, signaling the all time cycular low of both estrogen and progesterone and causing the woman to have a "period."

This is where the endometrium sheds off of the walls of the interior uterus and slides down into the cervix and through the cervical os, which is the little hole leading from the cervix into the vagina. Down the endometrium goes, through the vagina and exiting the body in the form of a menstrual flow.

And now we can move on to the first place where we poison our bodies and inadvertently diminish our fertility: Feminine menstrual products.

Gender Selection

2011-02-09T11:56:00.000-08:00

Being the great niece of world renowned Professor Joseph Stolkowski, whom I never met, is probably more than an irony. It's genetics. Or chromosomes, which we are going to discuss here.

First of all, I should say that I've never read my great uncles's book Garçon ou fille? le choix par sélection préconceptionnelle. Namely because it is in French. And while I can "break my teeth," as we Israelis say, on some French (say, a restaurant menu), a whole book full of French is quite a mouth full. For those who are so inclined to read, I've provided the link here:

For those who aren't, suffice to say that my great uncle was the modern "father" of gender prediction. His basic premise is this, eating a special diet rich (or lacking) in certain nutrients (such as calcium or potassium) in the weeks leading up to ovulation (but not to exceed 6 weeks at a time) will lead to having a baby of a particular gender. Apparently he began his studies on animals and later graduated to humans. His odds were pretty good, statistically speaking. My own mother succeeded on her uncle's diet. Other women have, too.

There are plenty of blogs and websites about Prof. Stolkowski's theory, which can be found in English. I'll let the experts in these speak for themselves. After all, they've read the book. But I'd like to talk about a few other takes on gender selection, one found in what you all know by now is my favorite book:

which briefly details this method:

And one that comes from another book, more widely known in the religious Jewish community to be certain, but perhaps not much outside:

Okay, so I'm not sure that this PARTICULAR translation of the Talmud is the BEST one out there or even the most complete...so feel free to do your own surfing to those ends. But we'll get to that in a minute.

First let's go back to Taking Charge of Your Fertility, 10th Anniversary Edition: The Definitive Guide to Natural Birth Control, Pregnancy Achievement, and Reproductive Health. I love the briefing here about Shettles's method. This method is considered the most scientifically sound method we've got on the issue of gender selection today.

Before I can explain the theory, I must give a bit of background. For many of us, it will be a refresher.

It takes a sperm and an egg to make a baby. Eggs are always "X" chromosome and sperm can be either "X" or "Y" chromosome. If an "X" chromosome sperm fertilizes the egg, your baby will be a girl. If the "Y" chromosome sperm fertilizes the egg, your baby will be a boy. Pretty simple, right?

Well, Shettles has some theories about "X" and "Y" chromosome sperm and how they behave in the woman's body. For example, Shettles's hypothisizes that "Y" chromosome sperm are more delicate and fragile. They don't survive as long, but they are fast. He's getting this from a few factors. We know that "Y" chromosome sperm tend to be slightly smaller than "X" chromosome sperm. We also know that when men are working in jobs that involve toxins, radiation, or are involved in some sorts of sports, such as biking, that can cause trauma to the testicles, they tend to produce more daughters. Overwhelmingly more daughters. So the theory is that when the man's sperm are under stress, the "Y" chromosome are the first to go.

Now, Shettles (and many other fertility professionals) claims that the "X" chromosome sperm live longer in the woman's body. They are heartier and typically slightly larger and tend to move slower through her body.

And this is the basis for his theory.

Shettles hypothesizes that if intercourse (or insemination) is timed further away from ovulation, many of the "Y" chromosome sperm will die off in the days remaining while waiting for the egg to be released, but the "X" chromosome (and heartier) sperm will remain alive longer, waiting to fertilize. Shettles's says that timing intercourse far away from ovulation and then not having intercourse in the immediate days leading up to ovulation should increase the odds of giving birth to a baby girl. Of course, shunning intercourse until the day before or the day of ovulation should produce a boy. This is because there will be no "X" chromosome sperm waiting in the fallopian tubes to fertilize the egg due to the abstinence that the couple has been practicing and, if the timing is right, the "Y" chromosome sperm will race up (faster than the "X" chromosome sperm) to their destination well ahead of their "X" chromosome counterparts to fertilize the egg first.

That's the theory, anyway.

Again, if you are interested in this theory, you can find more about it here:

Now if you are interested in trying this theory, you will need to know precisely when you are ovulating. Many women rely on ovulation predictor kids (OPK's) to determine this. Except, OPK's are inherently unreliable for a wide variety of reasons that are beyond the scope of this particular post (let me know if you'd like a post on that over at the facebook page). They are even MORE unreliable for women who are on fertility drugs! The most effective way to know when you are ovulating is by using Fertility Awareness Method (FAM), which I will teach you briefly at our first meeting. Or you can just read about it here:

FAM will provide you with astonishingly accurate results for all things ovulation related. So that is the good news. Now here's the bad news:

I'm not convinced that this works.

I'm not sure where the flaw is. Maybe the women I've worked with just happen to have husbands with unusually weak "X" chromosome sperm or mind-blowingly strong "Y" chromosome sperm, but I doubt it. All I know is that we can accurately time ovulation and intercourse (it's easier to time a boy than a girl, by the way, but again, I'll save that for another post if there's interest) but get the opposite gender baby than we were expecting. Of course, I've never worked with a mother who wasn't thrilled to have a baby in the first place. But I could see a mother who's heart was set on one gender becoming mighty disappointed in not getting the perfectly timed gender of her choice. So I always let women know that I'm happy to help them with the timing, but I cannot guarantee the results. If you are going to be trying for a specific gendered baby using this method, be prepared to get the opposite. If that isn't a risk you are willing to take, speak with your doctor about sperm selection. Their odds aren't 100% either and the interventions will be plentiful, but that's on their heads...not mine.

From all of the theories out there, including those about having intercourse on a full or half moon, my personal favorite is simple and for religious Jews, it should be of a particular interest. And that is this:

"if the woman seeds first, the baby will be a boy.
if the man seeds first the baby will be a girl."
(נידה לא עמוד א)

"Seeding" is taken to mean "climaxing" during intercourse. In other words, if the woman reaches orgasm first, the baby will be a boy and if the man, a girl. I understand that there have been animal studies that confirm this, though I can not find any links (if you can, please share on the facebook group page), but anecdotaly, I would say this this appears to hold some water. I've spoken with a couple of Talmudic scholars about the issue and they both agree that it is quite accurate, one even claims that it has a roughly 80% success rate. If you've used this method, please share your experience here.

In summary, gender is an inaccurate science with no guarantees, but there are options. I'll be happy to further discuss those options with you as we move through the process together.

Addendum:

Translation of Prof. Joseph Stolkowski's Gender Selection diets, provided by his niece Liz Stolkowski Flynn

The Girl Diet (appears to be a "dairy heavy" and "low salt" diet)

Eat: Milk products, apple juice and grape juice ONLY (no other fruit juices), mineral water, boiled fish (discard the water, basically you are trying to get the salt out), eggs... (yolk only), yoghurt, bread and bisquits without salt, green beans, asperagas, carrots, turnups, onions, potato, radish, pear, cucumber, pineapple, apples, mandarins, melon, watermelon, strawberries, CANNED peaches and pears only (discard juice), almond, peanuts, cocoa (not more than 2 teaspoons a day), hazelnuts, sugar, honey, jello, butter (no salt), jam/preserves (particularly strawberry), vegetable oil, pastry, pepper, spices, fine herbs, mustard, beef, veal, chicken, turkey, lamb, liver, non-salted pork, marine fish and mollusks.

Do Not Eat: Coffee, tea, chocolate, soda water, caronated beverages, liquor, beer, cider, salty cheeses, salty fish, artichoke, mushrooms, celery, tomatoes, white beans, lentils, beets, dry beans, split peas, bananna, fresh peaches, apricots, cherries, avacado, oranges, dates, prunes, figs, dark/milk chocolate, dried apricots, chestnuts, dried figs, cakes bisquits or other desserts WITH salt, olives, bullion, chips, store bought mayo and vinegarette, ham, bacon, smoked meats, cold cuts/deli meats, salted meats, gelled fish, smoked fish, salted or fried fish, uncooked shellfish

The Boy Diet (appears to be a "salty" and "milk free" one)

Eat: cola, fruit juices, coffee, tea, all meats, fish, bread and bisquits, dry cereal (crunchy), rice and pasta, potato, mushrooms, artichoke, parsley, dry beans, white beans, lentils..., soy beans, legumes, all fruit, bananna, dates, apricots, peaches, cherries, chestnuts, prunes, figs, dark chocolate, dried figs, sugar, honey, desserts without milk, pickles, olives, margerine, vegetable oil, yeast, canned tuna

Don't Eat: Milk/Dairy products, cheeses, milk breads (such as crepes), salad, greenbeans, spinach, milk based sauces, almonds, peanuts, ice cream, desserts with milk, hard or soft cheeses.

The Roller Coaster

2011-02-07T04:00:00.000-08:00

Who among women and couples who have experienced infertility can forget the monthly cycle of pain?

Maybe you have been taking your temperatures orally or vaginally.

Maybe you have been timing intercourse to correspond with day 14 of your cycle.

Maybe you have spent an entire month (or many months!) on a special diet. Or on injectible hormones. Or taking Clomid between particular days leading up to ovulation.

Maybe you've had an endless string of blood tests checking hormone levels, predicting when you will or will not ovulate. Or peed on countless, confusing ovulation predictor kids (OPK's). Maybe it was the endless sonograms. Or that "cyst" on your ovary that the technician or doctor mentioned to you with a concerned and furrowed brow (this cyst usually "disappears" later on in the ultrasound/sonogram process, with little or no explanation).

Or maybe you've been trying to conceive (TTC) for a year (or more) with no success.

Maybe you were pregnant with your first (or second or third) easily, within a few months, at most, but now 6 months have passed and you are still not pregnant.

Isn't that weird?

Is it because you are too old?

Is something wrong with you?

Is this indicative of a larger problem?

These are the questions I am asked over and over again in my practice. The answer, incidentally, usually is "no." And the backgrounds, though varied, predictably lead to the same roller coaster.

Insemination has occurred via natural means or IUI, or enhanced with medications. Embryos or sperm and eggs have been surgically implanted trough GIFT or ZIFT or IVF. And now the waiting begins. The 2 Longest Weeks of any waiting woman (couple's) life.

The gas, the migraines, the nausea, the sore breasts...every symptom seems to be a symptom of pregnancy...or early miscarriage. The woman begins to believe that she is pregnant. Or crazy. One day the hopes are sky high. The next day they are the lowest of the low. She tries to pacify herself by turning her attentions to other activities. But no matter how hard she tries, this would-be-mother finds herself imagining whether the would-be-baby is a boy or a girl (or both!)...what names would suit him or her and so on and so forth.

Sometimes the period comes on time, as expected; the worst fear materialized. Sometimes it doesn't come at all. Pregnancy tests ensue and they all come back negative. But should the women trust them? Trust her instincts? Eventually when the period comes, late, the woman wonders, was it an early miscarriage? Something else?

Trying to conceive is indeed an emotional and physical roller coaster for the great majority of women. But it doesn't have to be.

With Fertility Awareness Method (FAM) I will show you how to know exactly what is going on in your body at any given moment. Except in the case of a very rare woman (I have never personally encountered such a woman), you will know when and if you ovulated, why your period is late, if you had an early miscarriage or if you are even fertile at all. Yes, there is still a "wait and see" period of time, but that period is highly defined and easy to understand.

Women feel in control and in charge of their fertility. They feel empowered by knowing how to read their signs. Sometimes they feel angry and hurt that no one ever told them how to do this before. They want their friends to learn. They want their daughters to learn. They want to share this information with others so that they, too, can have the answers they seek.

There are many FAM instructors all the world over. A quick google search will likely find one (or two) in your area. I can (and do) even recommend a few to my clients, who like to learn the method more deeply. Recently, a woman who visited me to learn more about FAM decided that she was going to make being a FAM instructor her full-time career and is currently establishing her new practice! It's that amazing!

For many women, FAM alone is enough to lead to conception and a healthy pregnancy. But for some, FAM reveals deeper issues that can usually be remedied with herbs or diet/lifestyle changes.

Typically we will know very quickly, within a few months at most, where you fit into that spectrum. But one thing is certain, when you are working with me, you will be taking an active role in your fertility and you will feel empowered and proactive, every step of the way.

It is not necessary to read Taking Charge of Your Fertility, 10th Anniversary Edition: The Definitive Guide to Natural Birth Control, Pregnancy Achievement, and Reproductive Health before scheduling an appointment with me, but it will certainly guarentee you a head start.

Fertility Drugs

2011-02-01T04:21:00.000-08:00

Today I received a call from a very gentle and kind spirit who had some questions about using my practice in conjunction with fertility treatments. She was not the first person to ask me this question.

The answer is, sometimes I can work with whatever the fertility clinic is doing, but generally speaking I won't be able to work with them if you are taking medications or drugs that you are not willing to take, at least, a break from.

The reason is this, many fertility drugs are completely unnecessary once a woman has learned how to read her fertility signs. Any problems that materialize along the way can typically be attended to by using herbs. Some rare cases do, in fact, require some more invasive treatment, such as that which the Western Medical Model uses with regularity. But I happen to believe...no...KNOW... that for many of those cases, western medicine is overkill. Also, I can't teach you how to read your fertility signs when fertility drugs mask them, which they almost always do.

Today's telephone call reminded me of the myriad women that I have spoken with or worked with who have gone the Western Medicine Model route. The prescriptions are predictable. For nearly any fertility-related ailment, Clomid (usually taken in pill form) is prescribed. Most western practitioners will move on to injectibles after an arbitrary and variable amount of time on Clomid. The basic tests are always performed. Ultrasounds. Post-coitals, blood tests. Sometimes they will move on to more invasive methods, checking to see if one or both fallopian tubes are blocked, for uterine fibroids, ovarian or uterine abnormalities, and so forth. None of which show ANYTHING if not performed at the precisely correct moment, which most western medical doctors have no clue about how to determine. They continue to work off of the "normal woman=28 day cycle" method of "prediction". Fertility Awareness Method (FAM), the method I use, has nothing to do with prediction. In fact, no one ever predicts anything. We use scientific facts to determine what is going on in a woman's body at any given moment.

Of course, if you do happen to be one of the rare cases that does need to go the western medicine route, nothing will increase your odds of success better and faster than a solid practice of FAM. So FAM is important and appropriate for any woman, always.

But the post doesn't end here. The phone conversation today got me thinking about the very difficult line I feel I'm walking when I share with women the truth about the fertility drugs they are taking. Let's go back to the old stand by and typically first line of treatment; Clomid. I've encountered many women who have been put on this drug (myself, included) and I've noticed that despite the many side-effects associated with this drug, women are often times ill-informed by their doctors.

Yes, doctors will often share with them the side-effect of potential multiples in pregnancy, but to a starry-eyed woman suffering infertility, the idea of having not one baby but MULTIPLE babies takes on a romantic air. After all, what's more appealing to the woman who can not even have one pregnancy than the potential for a pregnancy with multiples?

But what the doctors fail to mention is that pregnancies involving multiple babies come with a wide variety of risks. The risks of premature birth are many fold. The risk of complications from that birth are undeniable. The risk of miscarriage of all of the babies increases. Many doctors neglect to mention that if you do become pregnant with multiples, you will be pressured by said doctor to selectively abort. This, of course, presents dangers to all of the babies in utero, besides the spiritual/religious questions of which babies do you let live...and which, not.

The doctor will also frequently forget to mention that Clomid (and later on, injectibles) are fairly new. We do not know the long term effects of these drugs, but from what we do know, there is a link between all of them and several forms of cancer, including ovarian, uterine and breast cancer. And the longer you are on these medications, the higher your risk. Also, certain lifestyle habits and genetic markers increase these risks.

Doctors usually fail to mention, until it is too late, that some side effects, such as hot flashes, migraine headaches or seeing in double, triple, or more are relatively common. If your fertility drugs are affecting your vision, what does that tell you about the whole system involvement and potential dangers of these drugs?

I could go on ad nauseum about the dangers of fertility drugs. It is not a decision to be taken lightly, of course. And once women find out how to read their fertility signs and understand, through doing so, what the problems really are they tend to not even need those drugs anyway!

When speaking with many of the ladies who have come to me in the past, I will often mention a simple truth; what do you have to loose to try a more natural way? The fertility drugs and clinics will still be there in two or three months...or even 6 months, though it usually doesn't take that long for most women who work with me to conceive.

FAM has no side-effects because you are not doing anything to your body, but rather observing the messages your body is sending to you. And if you need to move on to herbs, which have thousands of years of history and a proven safety and track record, you are still in a better short and long term situation than you would be in with synthetic drugs and invasive procedures.

In Good Health and Blessing,

J. Rivkah

For additional reading about FAM and how the Western Medical Model (aka, the medical establishment) treats and diagnoses women, check out the two books below...

The Crossover.

2011-01-30T10:25:00.000-08:00

I was trained as a professional actress, singer, voice over artist and director. I was also trained as a dancer, but we won't go into that, as my friends in the business, I'm sure, will understand.

One of the things we talk about, as artists, is our biggest influences on our work. As a self-made herbalist and fertility expert, I'd like to address that question.

Dr. Robert S. Mendelsohn's book Male Practice literally changed my life. It was a wake-up call after years of being mistreated and absolutely abused by my health practitioners, particularly in the area of women's health.

Let me go back a bit into my personal history. When I was a young woman, I began my monthly cycles. They were painful and irregular, which my (male) OBGYN assured me was normal. As the pain increased, I became unable to get out of bed for one, then two, then sometimes three or more days at a time. I was given birth control pills (BCP) even though I was not sexually active. In other words, this was not what BCP were intended for, and yet I was given BCP. This is called off-label use . I've hyperlinked that for you so that you can learn more about this practice, because it is legal and it is common and it is potentially dangerous and most if not all doctors will neglect to tell you this. At any rate, like most women with gynecological complaints that had no easy solution, I was given BCP as a first line of recourse.

BCP did not alleviate my pain. I was told to take aspirin (interestingly, this was not suggested by my doctor as a first course of treatment). Then when aspirin was found to be dangerous (particularly in children, which I was at the time!) I was told to take tylenol. Then I was given codine. Then a long string of narcotics. This was all well before I was 16 years old.

Nothing worked. So I was told that this was a psychosomatic problem and shuffled off to a couple of psychologists. I was reprimanded by them for my indulgence. I was even reprimanded by my father who would shout "get out of bed and you'll feel better." I couldn't and I didn't.

I don't blame dad. How could he have known what I was to learn only 4 years after suffering in this way...that I had Endometriosis, but unfortunately I couldn't find a doctor who would believe that this is what I had. I was told it was a "professional, white woman's disease." Yes. That's correct. And my parents and the doctors really bought into that.

Well, we know now that any woman can have Endometriosis. (Check out my article here for more details about this disease.) And, indeed, it took another two years for me to find an OBGYN, a woman, my first, it should be noted, who actually believed me and agreed to do exploratory surgery to prove it.

But I digress.

After my official diagnosis, more surgeries were to follow. So was the diagnosis of PCOS and "unexplained infertility" among others. And of course, the wide array of highly dangerous drugs with side effects such as death, cancer and permanent loss of fertility. Finally my new OBGYN suggested Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM). Had we run out of options so quickly?

This began my journey into so-called alternative medicine. I began to realize that there was another side to the only side of medicine I had ever known, and I wanted to learn more about it.

(You may have noticed that all of my posts to date contain links to books. There is a reason for that. This is how I learned and how others can learn, if they so choose.)

One of the first books to fall into my lap was Mendelsohn's How to Raise a Healthy Child in Spite of Your Doctor. If I were stranded on a desert island with only one book about childrearing to take with me, this would be it. The man is a genius! Mendelsohn (who is now deceased) was a former national director of Project Head Start's Medical Consultation Service and associate professor of Preventive Medicine and Community Health in the School of Medicine of the University of Illinois, as well as a practicing pediatrician for well over 30 years. He was mainstream...and was advocating against the system. This lead me to read his opus and best seller Confessions of a Medical Heretic. Also a must read with the caveat that one must be ready to internalize it. And this led me to Male Practice. Male Practice is, you guessed it, all about how women are mistreated in the medical profession, and how there is a grand tradition, perpetuated in medical school, for doing so.

Here was a virtual replay of my personal experiences thus far. From how doctors prescribe to what doctors prescribe, it was all laid out for me. And I realized what a precarious and dangerous situation I was treading in.

I moved slowly through the world of alternative or complimentary medicine (as it's sometimes called), eventually stumbling upon what I like to call Wise Woman Traditions. These are the folk traditions. The medical modalities of our ancestors. They involve energy healing and intuition, which has evolved into modern day EFT and reiki and the like but also concrete medicine, such as herbs and essential oils.

I first combined bits and pieces that I learned to heal myself and then, meeting others in my predicament, I began to help them to heal as well. And this is how Wise Woman Fertility was born.

Homeopathic Medicine

2011-01-27T23:42:00.000-08:00

As a self-taught herbalist and fertility expert, I realize the plusses and minuses of a "self-schooled" education. The danger, of course, is when one is learning in a bubble, without any real life mentors or hands on experience. On the flip side, the plusses are astronomical!

Research shows that people learn faster, in more depth, and retain more information, longer, when they are self motivated to learn the subject at hand. I can say that for me, this has most certainly been the case.

Though I am always brusing up on my "usual" subjects of interest, I try to take on something new in the field of medicine, regularly. Right now, that is Homeopathic Medicine.

Homeopathy has been around for quite sometime. Early American settlers used it. Their European counterparts used it. Entire hospitals in both places based their practices on it, until it was edged out by what is commonly known as the Western Medical Model, in very recent times. It is based on the principle of "like cures like," which in and of itself is an interesting concept. Can a remedy that, say, gives you hives when you are well, actually CURE those hives that you might naturally acquire in another way? Homeopathy says yes and it seems to have some good evidence to back that up.

But here's where it starts to get very, eh, alternative. You see, the little tablets or pellets (or tinctures) of remedy that you take under your tounge or use as a cream don't actually contain any of the element that you are ingesting.

Okay, I'll stop right here. Yes, you are ingesting something...but that is the "energetic imprint" of the element (usually animal, plant or mineral). In other words, if we took your tablet or tincture or pellet into a lab for analysis we would see water and perhaps lactose in the pill form or glycerine/alcohol in the tincture form and nothing more. This is because of the "woo-woo" principle of Homeopathy (and no, that is not the official name) which states that the remedy is strengthened through dilution. This means that though an original tincture is made with the animal, plant or mineral that would prove to be the remedy, it is so heavily diluted that there is no longer any trace of it in the finished product...which actually makes the remedy stronger and more effective.

Now if all of this seems a bit far out (and it certainly does to me), let's take a look at some common remedies. For example, calendula. This is used for sore or sensitive skin ailments in homeopathy, but it is also used in plant form in the modality of herbalism for similar indications. Is it possible that "like cures like" is also a principle in Herbalism, albeit unstated or even unrealized?

The thing about taking the herb is that there are contraindications. There are also potential side effects (albeit far lesser side effects than most western medicines). But with homeopathy, unless the patient is allergic to dairy (which only applies for the tablet and pellet form), there really are no side effects. This, of course, is unheard of in western medicine...and for good reason. But I'll save that for a future post.

At any rate, I shunned homeopathy for many years because this "woo-woo" factor just didn't sit well with me. Until I saw it work. I remember being over at a friend's house when her daughter took a nasty fall. She was howling and beggining to swell up in various places on her body when she was quickly given the remedy "arnica" and immediately stopped screaming. Like magic, her swelling began to reverse. And within a few minutes she was off playing. An hour later, there was no sign of the injury.

At this point I learned everything I could about arnica as a homeopathic remedy. I am still learning about the indications and usages of arnica, actually. Things are never as simple as they seem. But I brought some home and kept it on my medicine/spice shelf until it was needed.

Sure enough, one of my children got a huge whack on playground equiptment and I rushed home to grab the arnica. Like magic, the knot on the head immediately started going down and my screaming baby was instantly soothed.

Though this is certainly not my area of expertise, I am learning to become proficient in homeopathy's use and administration. Until I am, I've got a great doctor of classical homeopathy that I can (and do) recommend. But you don't need a doctor to use homeopathy for many of your general home ailments. And these books will show you how...

Homeopathic Medicine At Home by Maesimund B. Panos, M.D. was written by a homeopathic doctor who was the daughter of a homeopathic doctor. She was also married to a homeopathic doctor who actually apprenticed under her father. The forward is written by the illustrious Dr. Robert S. Mendelsohn, M.D. (who I will most certainly address in a later post) and that alone should attest to the book's worth. But this is truly the end all and be all for those who want to learn the basics, quickly, and begin using homeopathy safely and effectively in their own homes. It is an indispensible resource and a necessary addition to anyone's library.

Also recommended is Homeopathy and Your Child: A Parent's Guide to Homeopathic Treatment from Infancy Through Adolescence by Lyle W. Morgan II, Ph.D. H.M.D. Like the previous recommendation, this is written by an actual doctor according to the western medical model, who also happens to be a homeopathic doctor as well. Certainly not as great as the first, but unique in that it is specific to the ailments of children (which the first book mentioned does cover to some extent) but has a very unique and truly genius layout that allows the reader quick and easy access to remedies, without ever actually having to read the entire book. For those that just need a quick guide to children's ailments in homeopathy, this is the book for you.

Let me know what you think about the books listed above, or any of the books in my posts (which are also featured in the amazon carousel at the bottom of this page and all of my pages) on our facebook page: http://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/Wise-Woman-Fertility/182752565080597 or via email wisewomanfertility@gmail.com.

And as always, I answer client questions on the facebook page, so please feel free to ask away!