Wise Women Coffee Chat

Mommy Mode, Even During Times of Crisis

Elaine — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 10:16:22 +0000

Much has been written about the heroism of Sgt. Kimberly Munley, one of the officers who fired on the Ft. Hood gunman last week and stopped his deadly shooting spree. But, I was even more impressed with her heroics after reading Debbi Wilgoren’s article in The Washington Post — Fort Hood cop’s priorities: Blood loss, day care. Here’s an excerpt:

In an extreme example of the multi-tasking familiar to moms everywhere, one of the police officers hailed as a Fort Hood hero says she had two priorities after she and another officer stopped a gunman who had just killed 13 people.

One: get a tourniquet applied to her thigh, bleeding heavily where a bullet had pierced her femoral artery.

Two: arrange for someone to pick up her toddler from day care.

Sgt. Kimberly Munley, 34, was interviewed on NBC’s “Today” show Thursday morning along with Sgt. Mark Todd, who also responded to the shooting. They appeared on “The Oprah Winfrey Show” Wednesday afternoon. …

The petite police officer, who stands 5 feet 2 inches tall, said she was hit by three bullets. One struck the knuckle of her right hand; one passed through her right knee, then hit her left leg; and one pierced the femoral artery in her left thigh.

“I knew from the amount of blood and the color of the blood that was coming out” of the thigh wound that it was gravely serious, Munley said, sitting in a wheelchair with a blanket spread over her legs.

The soldiers who ran to help her knew it, too; even as she urged them to get pressure on the wound, they were fashioning a tourniquet.

Bleeding stanched, Munley immediately entered what “Today” hosts Ann Curry and Meredith Viera — themselves working mothers — dubbed “Mommy Mode.” She located her cellphone and arranged for someone to pick up her 2-year-old daughter (an older daughter, age 12, presumably gets home from school on her own).

“So the balancing act of motherhood and being a police officer did not end, even at that moment, for you,” said Curry.

“Absolutely not,” Munley said, smiling slightly. “It never does.”

Regardless of the ages of our children, slipping into mommy mode is as automatic as breathing for most women. And, all of us have had moments where we’ve had to juggle the needs of our children at “inopportune” times while dealing with life’s other demands. While hopefully none of us have ever faced as extreme a situation as Sgt. Munley, I’m curious about what (and how) other Wise Women have had to multi-task their motherhood duties with work/volunteer/other life responsibilities. Do tell.

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Maclaren Takes a Stand

Anne — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 10:00:56 +0000

UK stroller maker Maclaren has led the headlines this week due to a safety concern for their umbrella strollers. The headlines were astonishing, as it mentioned 12 children’s finger tips had been amputated and a million strollers being affected by a U.S. Consumer Safety Commission recall.

Mainstream media has represented a rather one sided story – and has not reported the fact that the potential for injury occurs during the opening and folding of the stroller when the child should not be near it. It probably goes without saying that any stroller (as well as many other hinged products) can present the same risks to a toddler if their fingers are clutching the hinge area when the parent is trying to fold it up.

As I have worked for a consumer products company for twenty years, I understand that it is the utmost responsibility of corporate America to offer safe and reliable products. I can still think back to the Pepsi syringe PR nightmare, which ultimately was found out to have been orchestrated by a consumer – not a manufacturing line mishap. Regardless, Pepsi took swift action to act responsibly, and take responsibility.

I have used a Maclaren stroller for all four of my children. They are the sturdiest most durable stroller on the planet. To me this becomes a question of personal responsibility vs. corporate responsibility. Maclaren has taken the right approach to stand up and initiate and orchestrate a very costly recall. But let’s not forget, there are many innocent dangers lurking in our household – and while we trust that the products we buy are safe beyond reproach, we also have to exercise our own good judgement to keep our kids safe.

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More News on College Strategies

Anne — Tue, 10 Nov 2009 10:00:05 +0000

My son, David, and I went to a College Information Night last week sponsored by Chyten Educational Services. While it certainly was a way for this outfit to raise awareness of their services, it was a very informative evening. I know I have a maturing son on my hands when he left the meeting telling me that he enjoyed the evening and that there was a lot of good information shared.

Most people in the audience were Juniors – the year of heavy lifting in the college search process – the year students need to treat the college process as a part time job or at least an additional class. However, if students are disciplined to get out in front of it enough in their sophomore year, from what I’ve heard so far the two best things to do are to:

1. Write your resume – and let it be a tool that can be built upon over the next 2.5 years. By starting early with it, and getting things down on paper, students won’t forgot anything, and maybe more importantly it points out where some holes may be that need to be filled in. It also forces them to assess their key strengths.

2. Develop the College Roadmap - Identify 2-3 “Reach” schools, 2-3 “Target” Schools (student’s background closely models what college is looking for) and 2-3 “Likely” schools. I can understand for many (and probably most) it’s hard to know where to begin – there are so many choices out there. There are a couple of online assessment tools – one at collegeboard.com and another called Naviance, which many High School guidance offices have, which can help start navigating this process. (Naviance was the one most recommended). By asking certain key questions – size, geography, urban vs. suburban, etc., students can start narrowing down the field. I imagine it would be a comfort to both student and parent to start Junior year with at least a roadmap of those schools that you know you want to visit and potentially apply to.

Now, I understand that these words of wisdom may only be a parent’s dream. What kid ever gets started on something before the very last minute? Not too many, but I will continue to chirp my suggestions. There have been a few unscheduled homework free afternoons where I’ve suggested taking a stab at that resume. Any results? Not yet, but I’ll keep trying!

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O, Yes She Can

Elaine — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 12:10:52 +0000

I’m not a big daytime TV watcher, but I’m going to DVR today’s Oprah and watch it later. Oprah’s guest is Ellen DeGeneres, and Ellen will talk about her months of persistent and quirky begging lobbying to appear on the cover of O magazine, including unveiling mock magazine covers (like the one to the left) to catch Oprah’s attention.

As Oprah said, Ellen is a “woman who can make things happen.”

Ellen’s determined quest reminds me of the movie My Date with Drew, an indie “documentary” in which a guy from LA gives himself 30 days to go all out to get one date with his grade-school crush Drew Barrymore. Using the “six-degree-of-separation” theory, the guy talks to everyone he knows (and doesn’t) to figure out a way to connect with the elusive (at least to him) Drew.

Both stories resonate with me. I love the idea of a laser-like focus on a goal, the creativity inspired by single-mindedness, the collaboration that evolves as you enlist others to support your goal, and, finally, the willingness to appear foolish as you swing for the bleachers and inevitably strike out a few (hundred) times.

The only time I even came close to this experience was deciding that I wanted to work someplace a few years back. I sent an unsolicited resume (in a bright yellow envelope to stand out) followed up by an unsolicited phone call. The actions were definitely out of my comfort zone, yet they paid off: I was hired for a new position at the institution, one that fit me perfectly.

All this gets me thinking about the areas in my life where I want to channel Ellen’s fun, take-no-prisoners energy … how ’bout you? What are your experiences of being “a woman who makes things happen?”

P.S. If you can’t catch today’s show, you can watch a summary clip of Ellen’s efforts to woo Oprah.

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Dealing with the Post-Halloween Candy

Anne — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 10:00:08 +0000

Right after Halloween this week, I heard a couple of stories. First, one of my neighbors told me that they pay their kids each $20 for their candy, and then throw it away. There were also a couple of local dentists collecting candy, paying $1-$2 a pound, and then sending the candy to the troops. I started to think about this, and loved the idea of removing those 7:30AM arguments about candy consumption from my house.

So I thought I would give it a try, and see how my young boys received it. I decided that I would let it be their choice – and if they wanted to keep their candy – that was fine – we would obviously just have to limit the daily consumption of it.

So here was my deal. I told them that I would buy all their candy for $10, and then take them to the toy store so they could pick out something special that costs $10 or less. They both took me up on the offer without hesitating, and negotiated to keep two pieces of candy.

One friend pushed back on this scenario a bit – vocalizing that Halloween is one of those special occasions – and it wouldn’t be right to take away the candy. My response was that candy today is so prevalent – I feel like almost everyday somehow candy is in my kid’s lives. When we were kids it was candy at Halloween, Christmas and Easter – but not much beyond that.

Anyhow, the boys were very happy with their trade. Jack bought a Yankees bear, Sam a little stuffed cow (of course, we don’t need anymore stuffed animals in the house either!). It was very cute watching them walk around the store with money in hand, looking at different prices and deciding what they could afford.

So now I will share all my candy with my co-workers. See, everyone is happy in the end!

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Voted Best Commercial in Europe

Anne — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 10:00:33 +0000

Need a laugh today? Watch this commercial – voted the best commercial in Europe!

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Wedding Trick-or-Treat

Elaine — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 10:00:08 +0000

For those of you who are married, did you have a good time at your wedding? Or, were you like me – so stressed-out that you could not enjoy the special day?

Over the weekend, I attended the wedding of a bride and groom who most definitely had a good time! My niece married a Halloween-fanatic; so, of course, they married on October 31st. Below are some photos from the night. Hope they make you smile – I was grinning all night.

Photos (top-bottom): Bride and her gnome groom with a few of the guests; jack-o-lanterns carved with the image of the bride and groom flanked the head table; another ghoulish/creative touch: old-fashioned portraits of the couple complete with moving eyes; my niece’s proud uncles joined the costumed fun; and my favorite bridesmaid socializes with a real stiff.

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Trick or Treat or Egg?

Anne — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 10:00:06 +0000

On this Halloween weekend we got egged. Not in the traditional sense, thank goodness. We received our first real live egg from one of our chickens. It’s silly how excited a little egg can make me. I discovered it after I let the chickens outside during the afternoon, and noticed one chicken was missing. As I was looking for her, I looked inside the coop, and saw an egg on the floor. It was still warm, and cracked, although not leaking. I then noticed the chicken nestled on top of the nesting boxes with her tail pushed up against the wall. She evidently laid the egg, and as there is a small gap between the boxes and the wall, it dropped down to the floor. Obviously a coop malfunction which we’ll need to remedy. We recently purchased the oyster shells which we scattered (they provide the calcium to make the shells hard) and the flax seed, which we mix into their feed to ensure good Omega-3 eggs.

And now for an update on Michael Jackson (our rooster). He is a fairly regular crooner now – note the pictures. I think his increased vocalizations may be coinciding with the chickens coming into the egg laying stage. While I do love to hear him crow during regular daylight hours, I listen with dismay when I’ve heard him at 3AM, 4AM, 5AM and 6AM. So I am now on the path to find him a home. I must admit I thought I’d have an easier time of it, but so far I have received three nos from sources that I thought were a fairly sure thing. So I will keep trying. Neighbors, rest assured, the singing rooster will be gone soon.

As I’m driving to Maine next weekend to visit my parents, my husband suggested I take him with me to give to the chicken farmer down the road from their house. If I had to travel 8 hours with a rooster crooning in my backseat I think I would probably drive off I-95. So I will keep trying, and hopefully MJ will be settled in a new home soon enough.

As I put the boys to bed last night they told me their new routine was to wake up, get dressed, run out to the coop and collect eggs, then have breakfast. Sam has put his claim on the first egg – his breakfast for Monday morning.

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A Documentary To Watch

Anne — Fri, 30 Oct 2009 10:00:51 +0000

Next Tuesday, November 3rd, HBO premieres a movie called By the People: The Election of Barack Obama. Produced by noted actor Ed Norton, the film makers Amy Rice and Alicia Sams started filming the documentary in 2007 a full year before Barack Obama announced his candidacy for President. The filmmakers were inspired by his oratory skills and charismatic nature witnessed by the nation when he first came on the national scene during the 2004 Democratic Convention. It didn’t start out about the making of a President, but just a charismatic Freshman Senator from Illinois. These filmmakers had unprecedented access to Obama and his family over a two year period – filming the triumphs, the disappointments, challenges and controversies.

What is also fascinating is the inside look at his campaign team, and the way they were able to galvanize the support of millions and turn supporters into new political activists. Ed Norton states: “I think people will look back on this campaign as one that was conducted with a real understanding of communication and organizing tools that were singular to that moment. It was an historic new read on how you could do an end run around conventional political methodology and strategies.”

From what I’ve read and heard, it looks like a very compelling viewing opportunity. There’s just one problem: I don’t have HBO. Maybe it’s time to give in. I know that would make the kids happy!

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“Got The Wrong Bob?” Google Wants To Saves Me From Myself

Elaine — Thu, 29 Oct 2009 10:56:14 +0000

As some of you know, I’ve had a couple of brush-ups with wayward emails in the past. One embarrassing incident involved inadvertently sending an email meant for my husband to my boss. Another time, a group email I sent out to plan a family birthday celebration included a client’s email address instead of my sister-in-law’s. They both are named Amy, and I didn’t catch the fact that Gmail’s auto-complete function had supplied the “wrong” Amy from my address book.

Now the Internet behemoth Google promises that it can save me from my errant ways by activating the new Gmail add-on “Got the Wrong Bob?”. If an email address in a group email looks out-of-place, Gmail will flag it for me.

I don’t know if I’m gratified or creeped out.

I remember the first time Google’s awesome technology reminded me of Big Brother. When I started using Gmail, I noticed that if I dashed off an innocent email to plan a Girls Night Out, the sidebar on my screen would show ads for entertainment options. If the next email complained about a poor night’s sleep, the ads would change to entice me with a new mattress or other sleep aids. Initially, I had a twisted fascination with the ads Google decided I needed to see. Now I simply ignore them.

If you’re interested in the latest and greatest email tricks from Gmail, check out the official Gmail Blog. Learn how Gmail can prevent you from sending ill-advised emails to old loves or former bosses after a night of drinking. Gmail Goggles makes you solve a few math problems to prove you’re in the “right stage of mind” (i.e., not too drunk) before you’re allowed to hit “send” after a certain hour.

How do the Google geniuses come up with these things?!?!? Thoughts?

And thanks to Wise Woman Maya for looking out for me and bringing “Got the Wrong Bob?” to my attention!

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