YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 2008 when…

1. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave.

2. You haven’t played solitaire with real cards in years.

3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of  5.

4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.

5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don’t have e-mail addresses.

6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries.

7. Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the screen.

8. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn’t have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it.

10. You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your coffee.

11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile.
: )

12. You’re reading this and nodding and laughing.

13. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this message.

14. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list.

15. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn’t a #9 on this list

AND NOW YOU ARE LAUGHING at yourself!

Go on, forward this to your friends. You know you want to!

A big thanks to Kathy in Nashville, TN for this one!

As we get older, our doctors
recommend that we have tests run more often.

So I’m providing
these tests to you, to save you time and money.

MEDICAL TEST

First:
STARE INTO THE CAT’S EYES  FOR 10 SECONDS ….
Then Scroll Down

NOW STARE IN THE PUPPY’S EYES FOR 10 SECONDS…

Scroll Down

Your CAT SCAN
And LAB TESTS
Are now complete!

What certain words sound like
 they ought to mean . . .

Abercrombie  – a pasta mixture often served in goulash or as Abercrombie and Cheese.

Absorbine Jr.  – 1.) Absorbine’s son. 2.) a small bean left to soak in water.

aboriginal  – originating from the abdomen.

acropolis  – a crop that has yielded more than expected.

acute  – describes something that is nice looking with childlike qualities and/or is very small.

adolescent  – 1.) someone who has been addled. 2.) the smell of someone who has been addled.  3.) term used to describe the glowing appearance of the stars seen after being addled.

algebra – a brassier designed and produced in Algeria.

almanac  – someone with an extreme affinity for almonds.

Al Paccino  – a steamed Italian coffee beverage.

apprentice   – an artist formerly known as a helper.

arachnophobia  – 1.) an unreasonable fear of tennis rackets. 2.) an unreasonable fear of a loud noise. 3.) an unreasonable fear of department store clothing racks.

archenemy  – someone with a grudge against fast food restaurants.

armoire  – a wire used to secure a dislocated wrist, elbow or shoulder.

azimuth  – someone with asthma.

Do you have some of your own? Feel free to share them with us!

More of these samples on the way mingled in with the others funnies and shared sillyness; see ya next time!

Ol’ John Brown