Witch Mom

The Idiot Box

noreply@blogger.com (Witch Mom) — Tue, 21 May 2013 07:00:00 +0000

As Witches who are more focused on inward processes than outward (see previous post) and working for change in the worlds (magic) rather than maintaining the status quo- TV is a troublesome concept at times. Especially when raising a child.

TV and mainstream media actively shapes us into fearful sleepers. I firmly believe this. At best it is "entertainment" (which is to say, distraction- which can be OK if it is not constant) and worst, it keeps us from being effective Witches and human beings in relation to one another.

Media gets us to believe everyone is a potential threat at worst, competition at best. It teaches that the gender differences reflected in our culture are intrinsic and create a huge chasm of difference between "men" and "women" (and that there are correct ways to be male and female and that there are no other options than those two gender assignments). It promotes a violent culture and treats violence as a way to solve problems. It creates a shameful relationship to sex and sexuality. I am, in short, not a huge fan.

That is not to say that I do not watch certain things*. I have regular shows that I appreciate (most of the time) and I allow my son to watch* commercial free shows and movies that I select. We can do this because we only have our TV monitor hooked up to a Roku box. This gives us greater control of media in our home and also is cheaper than most people pay for the boob tube.

We were given a TV for Xmas (Free! We would never have bought one, frankly.) and bought the box (for $60, total- so no ongoing fees for TV other than internet, which we use anyway!). We see Netflix (commercial free, $8 per month), streaming movies (also commercial free, and the most we have paid is $4 for a movie, but often they are free with our subscriptions), HBO Go (access given to us for free by a lovely friend!) Amazon Prime (for which we paid $50 a year -and- get free two day shipping in addition to a library of streaming for free) and Hulu Plus (not commercial free- so only the adults watch Hulu).

The best part of this arrangement is that my kid is not indoctrinated with weird pop culture crap and commercialism because we actively choose what he watches. We choose programming that fosters empathy, compassion, and learning. Why anyone would pay a hundred plus dollars a month for TV is beyond me. We paid an annual fee for Amazon prime and currently pay $15 per month for our monthly subscriptions, which is all the media we can handle (often we have too much in our watch lists to "consume" anyway).

We make sure to leave the house every day (even if it is just playing in the yard)- we go to the library, the park, the zoo, the science museum, over to other kids' houses. We play inside too- play dough, coloring, games, using our imaginations. We take care of gardens and houseplants and animals. We cook together. We teach our son about numbers and letters and the passage of time (calendar and clock games).

In short, we LIVE!

*What do I watch? Game of Thrones (adults only! too violent!), The Newsroom, Real Time with Bill Maher, Daily Show, The Colbert Report, Community, Modern Family, Bones, Misfits, Downton Abbey. All of these are interesting- all have problems. Modern Family has no class analysis (how does a real estate agent and a stay-at-home mom afford such a gorgeous home and three kids, two in college, in L.A.?) Real Time is informative but Bill Maher's Dawkins-eque stylings on religion get tiresome sometimes. Game of Thrones (I am also reading book five) is a world that is riddled with racist, misogynistic, violent problems but it is a fascinating tale.

What does my son watch? Shows that foster cooperation (Wonder Pets, Go Diego Go, and Dora the Explorer). Shows that educate him on numbers, counting, reading and phonics (Sesame Street, Super Why, Leapfrog movies). I also let him watch movies that foster spirituality and an animist outlook (My Neighbor Totoro, Kiki's Delivery Service) or cultivates empathy and compassion (Up, How to Train Your Dragon, Wreck It Ralph). And you can bet that we talk about what is happening during and after the show. We want to make sure he is getting the right messages.

I Am Weird.

noreply@blogger.com (Witch Mom) — Wed, 15 May 2013 07:00:00 +0000

...Or should I say Wyrd? Recently, a former professor's Facebook post and a blog post have made me decide to start a dialogue about what make us Weird.

Let's start with a definition, shall we?

weird (wîrd)
adj. weird·er, weird·est
1. Of, relating to, or suggestive of the preternatural or supernatural.
2. Of a strikingly odd or unusual character; strange.
3. Archaic Of or relating to fate or the Fates.
n.
1.
a. Fate; destiny.
b. One's assigned lot or fortune, especially when evil.
2. often Weird Greek & Roman Mythology One of the Fates.
tr. & intr.v. weird·ed, weird·ing, weirds
Slang To experience or cause to experience an odd, unusual, and sometimes uneasy sensation. Often used with out.

So, I am weird in the traditional sense (as I believe I am led by old Fate herself in my spiritual path, which includes working with spirits) and in the modern slang sense- odd and unusual. I think I have always been this way (as I was always grappling with difference, even as a small child). It is only as an adult that I embrace it and live as gracefully as possible as a perpetual outsider.

Even in an outsider's religion, I am the weird one who often does not fit. My former professor (mentioned above) calls himself Khalvat Dar Anjuman on Facebook. This name is a phrase that means "in seclusion even in the midst of a crowd". As a Trad Witch, I identify with that term deeply- we Witches are always in-between, never fully in one group or even in one world. And as a person who cares deeply about religion AND politics, I identify with this term even more so in human company.

I am the one who is often "too political" for many spiritual folk and "too spiritual" for the comfort of most radical political folk that I agree with. I am often not quite *in* any community fully. I am willing to bet that there have been blog posts here or on the Witch Mom Facebook page that my readers and friends just shake their heads at- "Why is Witch Mom posting about CISPA?" or "Why is Lily so damned religious? Why does she defend other religions? Doesn't she know religion causes so many wars and problems in the world? Why does she defend belief?" To me, these issues are inextricably linked. I care deeply about our world, both human-created culture and society and nature and our connection to it. So I am the weirdo.

So what else makes me weird?

I am a Witch that believes Witchcraft is not for everyone. I am not selling Witchcraft to the highest bidder, nor am I teaching for money to spread the gospel of my views hither and yon. I am not wanting to be a BNP (Big Name Pagan) and build myself up as celebrity or guru.

I am an anarchist. This means that I believe in people working together in small groups to govern themselves as collectives, coops, organizations that use direct democracy, households and what have you. I believe that governments are too large to really incorporate democracy and so what we have settled for is representation (that doesn't actually represent us anymore). I am a socialist when it comes to large projects that affect us all (like health care and education and possibly food production on a small scale). I am a communist when it comes to how I want to belong to any group- be it a household, project, or neighborhood. All of these definitions fall under anarchy. Your mileage may vary.

I am a parent who believes in cultivating a free thinking questioning child, not a blindly obedient one. When my child is not listening to me and not doing what I ask, I talk to him in terms of cooperation, not obedience. When he gets time outs, it is because "Anti-social people often end up alone. No one wants to be around them." Hitting and name calling is anti-social, and he is isolated in that case because it is a natural consequence of his behavior. I do not indoctrinate my child with ideas about gender, either. We watch media together and talk about what he sees. He naturally eschews media violence, as I naturally did as a kid. I think he is highly empathic (as I was).

I am polyamorous. This means I think that I am wired to be in multiple loving relationships simultaneously. Unlike some poly folk, I do not believe that this makes me superior to monogamous people. I think poly is a wiring issue, much like other kinds of sexual orientation. It is just IS. Some people are mono, others are poly. There should be no moralizing around the issue.

I am queer. For me, this means that I am attracted to people, whether they are male, female, or other. I am highly selective and persnickety, so I am not attracted to everyone, but if you look at my relationships, you will wonder what my "type" is. It's hard to tell from appearances and identities of my partners. Truth be told, I am sapiosexual, and passion, intellect, and humor are the things that attract me. My partner (also a poly queer Witch) and I are often mistaken for a nuclear monogamous heterosexual family. People can think what they wish- but we are not.

From http://saratoday.wordpress.com/

I do not consume as much as many Americans and desire to consume less. I wish to live sustainably and small. A tiny house or even a converted bus or vardo are things that I fantasize about almost daily. I covet solar panels, compost toilets, and a scrap of land to grow upon. I would love to travel the world with my son, healing people in exchange for food. I would also love to grow a lot of my own medicine and food and raise bees and make medicine for my community (have started that one already!) I have purged most of my possessions and will do another purge before we leave Ohio in an attempt to be more minimal. What do I need? This question is not the same as "What do I want?"

I have a driving passion to heal and create beauty. I am going to learn acupuncture and TCM because I want to add that modality to the my healing skills of energy healing and western herbalism that I already have at my disposal. I craft, do DIY, and make art. I do this because I must.

What makes you Weird?

Mother's Day

noreply@blogger.com (Witch Mom) — Sun, 12 May 2013 07:00:00 +0000

Julia Ward Howe first proposed a "mother's peace day" in 1870 with her "Mother's Day Proclamation", below.

She was a wife and mother in a suppressive marriage and witnessed atrocities of the Civil War. It was her belief that women should have more social responsibility beyond tending to her husband, and she used her gift of pose to spread this message:

Arise, then, women of this day!

Arise, all women who have hearts,

Whether our baptism be of water or of tears!

"We will not have great questions decided by irrelevant agencies,

Our husbands will not come to us, reeking with carnage, for caresses and applause.

Our sons shall not be taken from us to unlearn

All that we have been able to teach them of charity, mercy and patience.

We, the women of one country, will be too tender of those of another country

To allow our sons to be trained to injure theirs."

From the bosom of the devastated Earth a voice goes up with our own.

It says: "Disarm! Disarm! The sword of murder is not the balance of justice."

Blood does not wipe out dishonor, nor violence indicate possession.

As men have often forsaken the plough and the anvil at the summons of war,

Let women now leave all that may be left of home for a great and earnest day of counsel.

Let them meet first, as women, to bewail and commemorate the dead.

Let them solemnly take counsel with each other as to the means

Whereby the great human family can live in peace,

Each bearing after his own time the sacred impress, not of Caesar,

But of God.

In the name of womanhood and humanity, I earnestly ask

That a general congress of women without limit of nationality

May be appointed and held at someplace deemed most convenient

And at the earliest period consistent with its objects,

To promote the alliance of the different nationalities,

The amicable settlement of international questions,

The great and general interests of peace.

Why Do We Hate Children So Much (Links)?

noreply@blogger.com (Witch Mom) — Wed, 08 May 2013 19:24:00 +0000

After being a parent for several years, I can only conclude that our culture hates children.

Some adults ignore my son when he tries to talk to them. He looks at me, bewildered and says, "They're not answering, mommy." I shoot them a glare and say pointedly, "Yes honey- some people are just rude."

Some adults roll their eyes if Rowan's emotions run away with him and he is loud about it (He is learning how to be in control of himself- but it is a process that requires practice. No one is born with it). These adults are the same adults who do not want to be in close quarters (airplanes, elevators, restaurants) with him and freak not-so-subtly when he arrives.

The world includes humans of all ages, and I call bullshit on this artificial construct of being in "adult only" space we have created.

Below are four links that speak to this topic.

What is "adult privilege"?

How other cultures raise infants and children and why ours is so problematic.

Adult privilege run amok makes family travel a nightmare.

Expectations of public behavior are often stacked against children and those that are different than the political norm.

Silence, Simplicity, and Solitude: A Way to Focus Within (In Preparation for Meeting Your Fetch)

noreply@blogger.com (Witch Mom) — Mon, 06 May 2013 07:00:00 +0000

In our culture, we are driven to distraction by almost everything. We are constantly asked to give up silence in exchange for constant chatter- background music or talking, traffic noises, social media pinging our phones and who knows what other complications.

We are rarely alone, even if we live alone. We often make these choices ourselves: we see being alone as a failure (why wouldn't you want to be among friends or others if you could- does it mean you are unloved?) or fearing what feelings might arise if we don't have the chatter of company. This is not meaninful connection- it is mere distraction. We are not fully present with one another and having a meaningful exchange- it is mere habit and diversion from inward processes.

We cannot even go somewhere alone without interruption: stores have music soundtracks and announcements, people wish to engage our attention everywhere, and we must constantly focus outwardly to keep our bodies safe (from traffic, from others, from running into things).

These outward distractions serve to lull us into a kind of sleep. It is the sleep of constantly looking outward and focusing on anything but ourselves and our parts. It is the sleep of an automaton- someone who doesn't really think about much other than surface things throughout the day. People who live like this all the time are what I call sleepers. Witches are not sleepers- they cannot function properly* when constantly distracted. Witches function when they can access all their parts at any time and use them to optimum effect. This cannot happen when in beta brain activity all the time.

BETA WAVES - 14Hz to 20Hz. Beta waves are associated with normal waking consciousness. They are present when you are focused on activities in the outside world.

ALPHA WAVES - 8Hz to 13Hz. Alpha waves are likened to a light

meditation. They are prevalent when you daydream. They will

become stronger when your eyes are closed.

THETA WAVES - 4Hz to 7Hz. Theta waves occur during heightened

states of creativity and are found with a deep meditative state.

DELTA WAVES - .5Hz to 3Hz. Delta waves are found in a deep sleep

state or unconsciousness. Also, Delta waves are common in very

deep meditation.

Distractions and allowing yourself to fall into routines of distraction keep you in beta- not allowing for the other three patterns that are associated with Witchy work. Beta does not allow the self work and inward focus that is required of a novice working to prepare themselves for a life of service that -is- the Craft. In order to function in a Witchy (sorcerous and shamanic) capacity, you need to be able to be in contact with your Fetch- which cannot happen when we are constantly distracting ourselves with others, media, and shiny things- in other words, being in beta.

What is a Witch to do to achieve other states?

First, We must identify what distracts us. One exercise is to take an audit of our week. How many times do you look at a screen each day (mobile phone, computer, television, etc.)? How many of them were absolutely necessary for your livelihood (survival) and how many were just distractions?

How many times are we alone- with no other company (including partners, children, and other people we live with)? Are you -ever- alone? Are you only alone in the bathroom and a car? A car cannot count, as you must focus outwardly on traffic to survive. Bathroom could count as being alone, though!

How many times do you seek out silence- both in yourself (you not speaking to or focusing on others) and in your environment (turning everything off and being in quiet isolation)?

How many times did you purchase or receive something unnecessary for your survival? “Shiny things” can serve as a distraction as much as noise and people can. Some people distract themselves with these kinds of purchases all the time.

Once you get a general idea of what your obstacles are, you need to implement the three S's: silence, solitude, and simplicity.

Silence: I prefer to focus on “necessary speech” rather than a "complete and utter silence" exercise. This allows you to function at work and constantly T.H.I.N.K. about what you are about to say (Thoughtful, Helpful, Informative, Necessary, Kind). Rather than not speaking at all (which could relieve some types of all responsibility of analyzing their patterns (Such as wearing a sign that says, “Sorry, I am not allowed to speak right now”.), the T.H.I.N.K. model makes a Witch constantly look to her ideas and actions and it provides greater insight into how often unnecessary speech occurs. I recommend starting with the practice for a week and increasing the commitment from there. Eventually, we want to get to the life choice that all speech is necessary and none is superfluous. (Easier said than done!) Be critical- you need to be able to be honest with yourself if you spoke unnecessarily and not justify it. Are you ready for radical but compassionate honesty with yourself?

Simplicity: fast from purchases (other than food) for an entire month. Do this while actually actively “window shopping” at places you love to frequent. While this may sound like punishment, I assure you it is not. Allow yourself to feel the longing of possession and let it wash through and over you. Revel in the beauty of said object and “consume” its beauty with your senses without acquiring it. The goal here is appreciating beauty without the need of possessing it. Once we can master such a skill, it applies to the world in general. Sleepers have divorced themselves from the rest of creation- thinking themselves isolated, separate, and often “in charge” of the rest of creation. Witches know that we are all one and a part of all creation. Possession of anything is, in fact, a lie. Once we master our desires for “things” we can master our thoughts of “control over” others.

Do not misunderstand me: being a Witch (instead of an ascetic in another religion) does not mean we must deny ourselves pleasure and beauty. These are temporary exercises putting you in the right frame of mind. They are not to deny you anything- they are actually offering you different worldviews to the tired capitalist patriarchal model of possession of beauty instead.

Solitude: To be effective, a Witch simply must have solitude regularly. That is the only way spirits, gods, and other beings will be able to communicate with us.** Often, the only time a Witch is alone is in Dream. This is simply not enough. Setting aside time for nature walks, a sitting practice, and just being alone with no media (not even a book) is paramount. Ideally, this would happen every day- but it is understandable for those of us with partners and families that this could be difficult. But it needs to happen regularly- several times a week at a minimum. What can you do to ensure that this time is available to you?

*Witch is a job title, not an identity (although Witches identify so strongly with their function that they cannot help seeing the world in a different way than most sleepers- which cause people to confuse it with an identity instead of a job).

**Often, we assume a voice we "hear" is a spirit or god, but it actually a part of us (and not necessarily a part we should be listening to!) because we simply canot access the brain states to hear them. And even if they manage to get through the chatter of beta brain- think about how many more messages we would be getting if we shut off monkey mind more often!

Why I am not a Pagan

noreply@blogger.com (Witch Mom) — Fri, 03 May 2013 07:00:00 +0000

While I know many of my readers identify with the term "pagan", many of you may be surprised to know that I do not. I have used it as "cultural shorthand" at different times (online and in person), but I am finding the term less and less useful.

What do I mean?

1. "Pagan" is meaningless.

Historically, it just means "country dweller" and as most pagans are actually urban or suburban folk, the term isn't being used accurately.

Currently, the term is used to define... who? The more you try and pinpoint what "pagan" means and who is and is not included, the term becomes less and less useful. When it comes right down to it, it does not mean anything other than what we are NOT. We are not in an Abrahamic religion. So what?
And that makes the term as reactionary and useless as atheist. (Atheists have a word to describe them which does not define them and what they stand for- it only defines them in relation to others and what they are NOT.)

So now we have Christian pagans, atheist pagans, and who knows what other flavor. As I say, the term is meaningless. There is no belief system or anything that actually defines what we are.

2. Not all pagans do this, but since there is no code of conduct or agreed upon rules "pagans" often are very appropriative of other people's religions- cherry picking bits that "resonate" with them, and leaving other important context, history, and hard-work bits aside. It lends itself to a flavor du jour ethos that can border on racism (depending on the trad currently being cherry-picked).

3. Tribe and kin are important to me- so are keeping secrets and oaths that protect those folks. Some of the pagans that I have met do not have oaths to honor, nor do many seem to care about your oaths. I have heard eclectic pagans chastise people with traditions and secrecy as being "elitist" (as if we are required to share with anyone who asks!).

4. I have also people defend their eclectism and general paganry as "finding their path". But to be honest, when you cherry pick, you tend to only be attracted to things within your comfort zone and eschew other things that are more challenging and difficult. This is NOT spiritual growth. It's actually the opposite. Comfort and attraction are not the goal of spirituality and religion.

So how do you identify? I am a Witch. And there are more specific definitions than that, of course. But that requires and in-person conversation over tea! If you identify as pagan, how do you define that term (for yourself and others)?

Stop CISPA

noreply@blogger.com (Witch Mom) — Mon, 22 Apr 2013 13:00:00 +0000

Sign the petition.

Raising a Boy in Rape Culture

noreply@blogger.com (Witch Mom) — Mon, 15 Apr 2013 07:00:00 +0000

Lately, the news has been filled with horrific tales of teenage boys raping teenage girls and lots of victim blaming. Some victims have even committed suicide after being bullied after the rape. It gives a mama pause. How to raise a compassionate, respectful boy who grows into a respectful, compassionate man? We have started early. Rowan is three, but he is learning about body integrity, respecting other people's boundaries, and how to interact respectfully with others.

There are a lot of triggery links on this post, but please- if you have children, especially male children read them and talk to your kids NOW about this. I agree with this mom- it is an emergency:

"I don’t know how we stop boys from raping girls and posting the photos online. This has been happening far too often lately, and I’m sure there are many cases we still don’t know about. Because sex education is rarely taught in schools, rape education is never taught. I know as a parent I talk to my eldest son about these things and I will talk to my daughter about these things when she is older, even though I know my son is a smart, gentle kid who would never do anything like this, I talk to him about it anyway because I HAVE to. We all have to. I don’t know what else to say about this but my heart is broken.Please talk to your kids. This is an emergency."

A post of mine on Facebook, linking to an article about young boys learning todisrespect at an early age with the "boys will be boys"defense:

As a parent of a boy, I am glad to say that we have started early avoiding the "boys will be boys" behavior. Our child knows "back up and give them space", "you need to ask how your friends want to play together" and many more personal boundary and cooperative behaviors.It starts with simple things that can be easily dismissed by gender essentialists like knocking over towers. It cascades from there. After a childhood of learning that boys trump girls and they have no responsibility for the feelings of others, what do we expect?

I believe that these lessons need to be repeated often. Here is commentary from afather of a 4 year old boy on the Steubenville rape case:

'Convicted Steubenville rapist Ma’lik Richmond’s lawyer is planning to appeal the guilty verdict because – he says – at 16 years old, his client’s brain isn’t fully developed, and as such, he might not understand that rape is wrong.My son, all of four years old, is chewing his last strawberry mouthful as I finish my definition of rape and sexual assault, and my explanation of why forcing himself onto a girl—even his “girlfriend”, even just a kiss—is wrong. He gets it. His brain is far from fully-developed, but he nods as my sentence trails off and my hands fall back down to the table. “Okay, daddy. I won’t do it anymore,” he says. He slides off of his chair and gallops back to his cartoons.I know my son didn’t rape his preschool ex-”girlfriend.” And in all liklihood, he didn’t sexually assault her either. But when she let him know that she didn’t like him kissing her, it opened up our first conversation on the topic. And though I’m not completely sure I’m speaking on his level, I know I’d rather speak to him now so he knows that this is a topic between us. The rougher road lies ahead, but I’ve paved the first block and that’s what matters.'

I replied on Facebook:

We are working with my 3 year old son on boundaries and space and bodily consent. He knows to "give people space" if they ask. He knows that touching someone when they don't want it or they ask you not to is wrong (we even gave daddy a "time out" for continuing to tickle him when our son asked him to stop), and he knows that he needs to ask how his friends want to play together, instead of exerting his will upon others.That defense is some bullshit.

The national dialogue that puts rape prevention on women and girls is not where we should be focusing our energy. Rape is not a women's problem- while women and girls are most often the victims, boys and men must be taught, from birth onward, to respect others bodies, minds, and ideas.

"Responsible parentscan speak to their daughters about how to minimize their chances ofbeing raped. But the greater conversation we need to have is how tostop men and boys from raping. We have had years, and years, andyears of rape prevention seminars for women, of safety tips andclasses, of helpful hints so you don’t end up beaten and left in analley somewhere after being sexually assaulted. We need the same sortof seminars, and pamphlets, and websites dedicated to teaching boyshow not to rape. We need male politicians, and celebrities andathletes to do PSAs about how not to rape. We need fathers to talk totheir sons about not raping. Women? We do this. We talk about rape,we are vocal about rape, we write about rape and protest rape anddonate money to anti-rape organizations and write letters to getstricter rape laws passed. But we need more men to be as vocal as we are. "

How are you teaching your son in this regard?

The Farmer's Market

noreply@blogger.com (Witch Mom) — Mon, 08 Apr 2013 11:32:00 +0000

My new regular in-person home is in the
Franklinton neighborhood of Columbus- and is a
lovely mix of art, performance, farms, artisans, and crafts.

Lately, a lot of my time has been taken up by Boline. Making new products, creating packaging, building my own ecommerce site, and now- direct sales at the 400 West Rich Farmer's Market.

The market is currently twice a month, but is gearing up to go weekly in June. And I have worked very hard to have enough different products, cute signage, and nice displays so that I can have a compelling booth to passers by.

I now have even more products available at the market than I have on the Boline website. (Because they sell faster than I can keep them in stock and get them photographed! A good problem to have!)

I have been next to a reptile rescuer who does
educational shows, someone who makes pipes
from antlers, a soapmaker, and a ukelele instructor!

I have met some wonderful people- both vendors and customers- at the market. And customers are very helpful to help me understand what people are looking for, what their current understanding of herbalism is, and how people think.

For example, many folks do not understand the way tonics work, as they are used to (growing up in our culture) treating conditions only as they arise and are acute.* And while I am personally committed to saving the honeybee by using and getting local honey, wax, pollen, and propolis from eco-friendly beekeepers in my remedies, many vegans will shun beeswax in their topical remedies.

Starting in May, Boline will also be tabling at other outdoor fairs and festivals, too- an art festival in my neighborhood called The Clintonville Art Crawl, an Etsy-sponsored "Eco-Chic Craftacular", and a local street fair called CrestFest. I have also enlisted a friend to help me staff the booth and he offers massages in his massage chair (he is an amazing massage therapist).

I have also talked with the folks at Small Business Beanstalk, and they have made suggestions about my next steps to move from retail only to wholesale- and having my products in local stores.

As I said- I have super busy! Starting in May, every Saturday is a Boline day- and that is so much more than sales. I often talk with people about their health concerns and recommend remedies, even ones that I do not currently sell. In this society where so few have access to affordable health care, I hope to be of help to those that need it.

In the works: a migraine tincture, medicinal mushroom tinctures (for immunity and cancer), and sore muscle rub in a roll up stick, a sun block, and a few more teas. I also have two forms of lozenges that are not on the website, as I do have photos of them yet.

See you at the market!

Cyber Witch

noreply@blogger.com (Witch Mom) — Thu, 04 Apr 2013 14:55:00 +0000

Organize your Witchyness!

So being involved in Traditional Witchcraft does not make me a techno=phobe. Quite the contrary, I blog on a laptop, have Facebook, Pinterest, and Twitter accounts, and have a smartphone.

On that smartphone (an iPhone is my device of choice, though I am sure there are similar apps for Android devices) is a folder called "Crafty" (and another folder for on plant and wildlife identification for my new home)- and they include apps that make Witchy life just a tad easier. Yes, dear reader- "there's an app for that".

Apps in my Crafty folder:

1. A Compass (yes, I can look at the sun and determine this during the day, but at night, it's more tricky!)

2. Two that identify constellations in the sky (day or night!) I haven't figured out which one I like better yet, so I have two right now.

3. A cemetery app- this app shows where the cemeteries are near you using a GPS (or search in a specific place not near you). If you find one that is not recorded, you can document it and add it to the database. This app was made to be interactive, so all the cemeteries in the US can eventually be recorded. Very handy indeed.

4. A meditation gong/timer- super helpful when doing sitting while out and about! I love to do sitting outside under a tree, and this allows me to know when I am done.

5. A candle app- A simple very life-like animated candle burning app, that includes several styles of candle to choose from. (I personally hate the music, so I mute it.) This app is pretty neat because it responds to breath and sputters if you come too close. You can literally blow your candle out when done. I consider this a focus tool. I can stare at the candle and it assists in entering trance states for divination, travel, or oracular work while not at home.

My Gansburg Clock.

6. The Gansberg Clock- This is a super neat clock that tells where we are in the day, week, and year- and it includes moon cycles, the Wheel of the Year sabbats, and Gregorian calendar months. Want to read more about The Gansberg Clock? Here you go!

There are also a few apps that I don't take very seriously in that folder:

7. A rune app- I don't usually do full divination on a gadget. Why? I believe that actual divination requires a human being, open to the All-There-Is so that they can get guidance. A machine cannot do that. I consider this a fun app, not one I take too seriously. If I am ever looking for a quick answer, I consult a pendulum, which can be found anywhere.

8. A Tarot app- see my disclaimer above about runes. Fun!

9. A horoscope app- I have a couple astrologers that I think are awesome. Most astrologers, I have found, are not very accurate. It is a rare one that I want to read regularly. So this is a fun app.

What apps, if any, do you use to assist you in your Wyrd?

Ask Me Anything: Evil

noreply@blogger.com (Witch Mom) — Fri, 29 Mar 2013 07:00:00 +0000

This? This is Baphomet.
He is known by many names and is NOT evil.

I was recently asked by a reader to explain how I think about the nature of evil. This came on the heels of an interesting Facebook discussion on a fellow blogger's page about the same subject. So I have been mulling it over.

I do not believe evil is a force of its own in the world- like the way many Christians see "the devil" or the way many prefer to label those that murder, rape or commit acts of atrocity. It is never so simple or easy. The truth is much more awkward and uncomfortable. The scary fact is, we are ALL capable of horror- and it is up to us to cultivate ethics and compassion in ourselves and others as a culture to prevent such terrible acts. It is easy and convenient to distance yourself from acts of "evil" that others do- and I am sure it makes folks sleep better at night to do so.

Most things we tend to classify as "evil" tend to fall into two camps: 1. things that we are frightened of and do not understand and 2. disconnected beings who commit great atrocities.

Camp Number One:
There are entities that I have encountered out there who are not exactly fun "love and light" beings. I would become their snack if they had their way. Some cultures and religions call them demons or other similar names.

Does that make them evil? No. It makes them predators.

Do we villianize lions, orcas, or preying mantis' for their actions in the world? Of course not. That is because we understand their place in the world and have taken pains to remove ourselves (for the most part) from their predations. The same is true for "demons" or whatever you want to call them. I am sure that they have a role to play, we simply do not understand it. Does that make them any less scary? Hell no. Will I ward, blast, and defend myself and mine from them. Oh you betcha.

Camp Number Two:
People who commit mass murders and torture others and rape fall into that second category- and frankly, those people scare me more than the things that go bump in the night. Because a disconnected person is dangerous. They have no empathy, no conscience. They can do great evil because of their disconnection, and it is very hard, if not impossible, to connect someone like that to the All-There-Is. This effect is sadly contagious- and many disconnected people together can cause wars, genocide and more. And this disconnection is our fault- not just theirs. We all create culture together- and we are only as strong, compassionate, and affluent as the weakest, alienated, poor person in our society.

How do you see evil? How do we overcome it?

Raising a Boy

noreply@blogger.com (Witch Mom) — Mon, 25 Mar 2013 07:00:00 +0000

He has been taught from an early age
that men are nurturing, too.

When I was pregnant, I assumed (until an early ultrasound told me differently) that I was carrying a girl. And I was really excited about that- training another strong woman to carry on my tradition of Witchcraft and cunning sounded like a wonderful thing. And then that little lump of flesh (called a penis) on the ultrasound really stunned me.

I must admit, I am now embarrassed and shamed at my very visceral adverse reaction to bearing a boy child (at least we think he;s a boy child- he keeps changing his mind between boy, girl, and goblin). I am not a separatist, nor am I a Dianic Witch (although I dabbled briefly with that path).

I believe that all sexes have value. I was grateful to that ultrasound, because it helped me get my shit together before Rowan arrived- so I could welcome him with all my heart and love him for who he is, regardless of genitalia, chromosomes, or (what will develop later) identity.

And I am happy to say that Rowan is an amazing human being and I would not have any other child, regardless of genitals, in his place. Every need I somehow had in my head about having a daughter has been filled by him, and then some. Rowan is mine and also his own- a truly unique individual who is not defined by his junk any more than I am.

Pink fuzzy sweater and a pigtail?
Why yes, please.

But raising a boy presents its own cultural challenges. I believe in raising kids as free as possible from kyriarchical standards (or what I have called the "Gender Agenda" in previous posts). And when raising a boy, you have many many people laying assumptions down on how to raise that boy so that they live up to the privileges and expectations that society dumps on them.* There is a lot of influence that I will have on him, but I fear about the messages he will ultimately get from others who would pigeonhole him into a role not of his own choosing.

For example, there's the issue with Rowan's appearance.

We allow him to choose his own clothes, hair, and accessories. We believe and are teaching him that his body is his own and he can adorn it any way he likes. No one has the right to do things to his body, including dressing him in drab**, that he does not consent to.

Uniquely Rowan.

Much to his Pap Pap's chagrin, he has chosen sparkles, colors like pink and purple, rainbows, long hair, and glitter. And who can blame him? His mama is part magpie, so why wouldn't he be? He choses not to cut his hair (and believe me we ask him weekly if he wants to cut it- since he hates having it brushed). His hair is down to his butt and is most often pulled back into a utilitarian ponytail and often has barrettes in it to keep the shorter front pieces from getting gross from food. They make most barrettes in "girl colors" and "girl designs". (Rowan does not mind having multi-colored butterflies in his hair at all, but what about kids that do not like such "girly" things? Where are the gender neutral barrettes for kids- like dinosaurs?) In related feelings, I hate that we assign gender to inanimate objects, colors, and patterns. It sucks.)

A Beltaine outfit
of his own choosing.

His choices lead him to be "girled" a lot. Our family, including Rowan, don't actually care. But the reactions we get from people being corrected range for horror to shame to confusion. And this perplexes Rowan enough to comment on it. "They think I'm a girl, mommy." "Yes, they do." I reply. "Do you think you are a girl?" "No", he says. "I'm a little boy." Fair enough.

But it should also be noted that sometimes he tells me that he wants to grow up and be a lady like mommy. And some days he wants to have a beard like daddy. And the fact that he doesn't know or has made up his mind is fine by us. But it squicks a lot of people out. I bet that this phase is probably far more natural than in the children that had their gender chosen for them and forced to wear, say, and act certain things to reinforce their parent's idea of what a boy or girl "is".

Then there is the culture of violence that we force upon boy children.

When we go to playgrounds, inevitably we run into boys playing war games with toy guns. It disturbs me that violence is considered fun and I have mentioned this to Rowan. He doesn't seem to like this kind of play either- because he always tells those boys "Go away! I don't like to play that." I don't know if this is a simple projection of me and my distaste, coming from him and his dislike, or a combination of the two. But I will NOT train my son that hurting or killing people is a fun game. We will not have video games like that in our home (ever) and we carefully screen his media intake. It seems like here in Ohio, almost all boys are all taught killing is fun from a young age. I like to think that I am giving Rowan more options in how to become a man (if he choses to be one). When his Pap Pap says, "He's a boy!" as if that objection to long hair makes sense, we tell him, "Yes he is a boy with long hair. There is more than one way to be a little boy." (And frankly, if you think there is only one way to be a boy or man I feel sorry for you.)

Some days he's a boy.
Sometimes he's a girl.
Somedays, he's a goblin or robot.
But he's ALWAYS shiny.

In the wake of the Steubenville and Indian rape cases, I have been thinking a lot about how to raise a boy in this culture- one that I personally am often horrified by. And to me, the answer is mostly - you don't. My son is not being raised steeped IN this culture, but alongside it. His parents often reject what society has deemed of value- and we are teaching him to value things like autonomy, freedom, responsibility, friendship and kin, and love over things like money and acquisition, domination, control and force, and the fleeting futility of "identity".

With a preschooler, the messages and steps we take look like this:

He has strict media limits.

No one, especially corporate interests, are going to tell my son how he should be. I limit "screen time" to 2 hours a day and even then- it does not happen *every* day. He never watches actual TV (with commercials and news breaks) in my home, but instead watches educational streaming video instead (no commercials, only approved programs). It may sound over-the-top to some parents, but a recent study has found that carefully curating what preschoolers and younger watch determines their aggression level. So Rowan picks from Sesame Street, Yo Gabba Gabba, Super Why, Curious George, Dinosaur Train, Word Girl, Dora the Explorer, and Go Diego Go, mostly. And still, there have been subtle messages in some of those programs that I disagree with and we talk about what we see together. He has no filters at this age- so I must help him do that. He also watches nature documentaries. He also only watches movies when mama and daddy is there to have dialogue with him about what he is seeing. Recently, he saw Wreck It Ralph and Despicable Me. We had talks about bullies, "bad guys", and being nice. In both movies, the "bad guy" turns out to be a good guy. So Rowan has been talking a lot about that lately.

He hears commercials on the music station that we listen to in the car sometimes. And I help him filter those messages, too. "They are talking about that because they want you to buy something, Rowan. They paid money to get on the radio to talk to you. They have an agenda- what do you think that agenda is?"

He is being taught that his body is his to with as he chooses.

(But mama and daddy sometimes need to intervene for his health- like making him eat greens or brushing his hair.) I remember applauding Jada Pinkett-Smith when she defended her daughter's right to crop her short and wear "boyish" clothes. Smith talked about how it was her daughter's body and she got to choose what happened to it. What a powerful message for that child to get from a loving parent!

Being a lightening bug
for Halloween.

No one decides for him how to express himself, as long as he is not harming himself or anyone else. So he will decide when to cut his hair, start potty training in earnest, and when he can be tickled or hugged. And we teach him that others get to make these decisions for themselves, too. So he is getting the "no means no" talk, even before his sexual awakening. We even gave daddy a time out once, for tickling without getting consent first (that made Rowan smile really big, to make daddy get a time out!).

And he will get all versions of the "no means no" talk along with the "yes means consequences- good and bad" talk when he does have that awakening. He will be getting sex education that not only has the bad consequences as a scare tactic (pregnancy, STIs) but also what makes a good relationship, what kinds of sex there are, full anatomy disclosure, and more.

In the wake of the Catholic Church and other predations upon children in the news, I am struggling with the loss of innocence that comes as I teach him about secrets, touching, and that not everyone is a nice person. But I know this message will keep him safe- so I have bought a book called "Not every Secret Should be Kept" and we started to talk about keeping safe and talking to mama and daddy about things that happen when we are not around.

We also teach him that affection and touching (as well as expressing his feelings) are wonderful human things to do.

So many men are emotionally stunted because of their conditioning as children. This manifests itself in emotionally unavailable partners and fathers, an obsession with sex (as a replacement for love), and a horrible repetition of the cycle. We strive to have Rowan be fully human- that is, not be limited by what others consider "normal" male behavior. Just as the parents of daughters must struggle with this issue, so must parents of boys- just in different ways.

In what ways have you found raising your kids, especially in regards to gender and culture difficult? What has been easy? What are you doing to educate you children about gender roles and expectations?

*Raising a girl has its own challenges- don't get me wrong. I just knew what I was in for with having a daughter- having been one myself. I was just unprepared for the particulars of raising a boy as a non-kyriarchal feminist household.

** Drab is the costume we give to boys and men in our highly gendered culture- dull colors, less interesting tailoring, less patterns. Drab is the boring version of drag- which is also a gendered costume.

Medicinal Teas

noreply@blogger.com (Witch Mom) — Mon, 18 Mar 2013 07:00:00 +0000

One of the newest products I've added to the Boline store is Medicinal Teas*- I have six varieties to choose from with more formulations on the way. Why would I offer teas? (Well, first off- they aren't actually tea (which is a specific plant)- they are medicinal herbs that you would steep with boiled water to make what we herbalists know as "decoctions" or "infusions".)

They are a fantastic way to get nutrients and medicine into your body! When I am taking a tea as a tonic (meaning that I take some every day to keep it in my system- like with my Preggers Tea- which I used myself when pregnant with Rowan), I often make a huge batch and drink it iced from the fridge.

The teas I offer come in these bags- and inside are fresh,
organic herb blends and an unbleached cotton muslin bag for steeping.

When I am taking a tea for a temporary condition (like Dream Well or Kid Calm tea for insomnia for example), that's when I tend to drink it hot.

Many people are used to drinking tea that comes in prepackaged tea bags, even the medicinal herbal teas. It is much better for you to take loose tea. Sure, you could buy bags of herbal teas that have similar ingredients at the grocery store, but they will not work as well. Why? The main difference between loose teas and tea bags is obviously the size of the leaves. When producing the tea bags, whole leaves are chopped, sliced and diced into small particles ranging from 0.2 to 1.5 millimeters called fanning and dusts. With all this slicing and dicing, the plant compounds interact with moisture and oxygen, leading to rapid quality loss.

Whole leaves contain natural compounds that are good for you and different essential oils which are what we would call the basis of the amazing tea flavor and taste. When the leaves and flowers and roots are broken up, those oils tend to evaporate, leaving the fannings with a dull aroma which will lead to a tasteless beverage.

Further, who knows how long that tea has lived in those bags, in that box, on a shelf somewhere? All of the teas I sell are fresh! So choose fresh (medicinal grade) loose teas!

There are several ways to make yourself a potent decoction. Just making a single cup for yourself? Then I prefer the infusion cup method:

These three cups are mine- all have the mug, an infuser insert,
and a lid. The lid keeps in all the important bits!

The lid is necessary, even if you don't have a cup like this- all the essential oils from the medicines will escape with the steam if you don't cover your infusion. The longer you steep (I do 15-30 minutes, depending on the blend- ones with roots will take longer), the more medicine is in the brew.

There are also other ways to make a small amount:

Unbleached cotton muslin bag (like the ones that come with Boline teas),
tea ball, spoon, infuser, and larger infuser for a larger pot.

Disposable or compostable versions are also available:

These are unbleached paper tea infusion bags.

And of course, there's the ubiquitous tea pot:

If all you have is a mug, you can always heap the herbs into it, pour water over, cap it with a saucer or small plate, and then strain it before drinking. I just tend to drink so often that I have specilty equipment lying about to take pictures of!

What are my favorite herb blends at the moment? Anything with nettles (it is green, yummy and sooooo good for you!, chamomile is lovely when fresh, and I grow lots of peppermint (trying some chocolate mint and pineapple mint this season too).

Currently Boline offers Dream Well (for those of you looking to relax and have productive dreams), Kid Calm (which is for stress, insomnia and anxiety- and safe enough for kids), Preggers Tea (for those expecting), Fertili-Tea (for women trying to conceive), Menopause Tea (for hot flashes and other symptoms and nutritional needs of that phase), and Allergy Tea (for seasonal allergies like hayfever).

Ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-changes....

noreply@blogger.com (Witch Mom) — Mon, 11 Mar 2013 09:22:00 +0000

Does a caravan turn back from a journey because

of the barking and clamour of dogs?

On a luminous night, does the outcry of dogs

delay the full moon in its course?

The moon sheds light and

the dog barks.

Everyone proceeds according to their Nature. -Rumi

Bike friendly Portland will allow us to be car-free.
The transit is also so much better than Columbus.

So my family has been doing lots of thinking lately. And we have made some major decisions. We moved to Ohio because it was good for our small family to be near extended family and a support network. We moved here because it was cheaper than our beloved Bay Area and we needed to regroup and get back on our feet financially. But it is NOT home. We have met amazing people here, and Columbus is pretty neat. It just doesn't fit all our needs.

So, here's our plan:
My partner is currently getting out of student loan default. Ohio, with its cheap cost of living is allowing us to do that. He will be able to return to school very soon and will be getting degrees all the way to PhD (to be a therapist, among other things). He will make a great therapist.

I love being near water. Not only does Portland have
the river, it also is an hour from my beloved ocean.

I am in grad school and soon will be switching tracks radically. I have been in seminary part time since 2009 and have decided it is time to move on. I gotten some great things out of SKSM, but it is not the path for me. After serving a UU congregation and finding out first hand what it is like, I have decided this is not what I want to do with the rest of my life.

I have been a healer in between other gigs for quite some time. I went to herb school (and continue a lifetime of that herbal education on my own), and am a Reiki master. I have found the call to heal to be steady and patient in the background- all while I tried on many other hats. I have decided to switch schools and prospective careers. In the fall, I will be attending a master's program in acupuncture and TCM. I will get certified and licensed and start to practice while my partner continues on with his school.

Gorgeous.

We have also decided that after my partner gets his BA and I get my acupuncture MA, we are moving... again. We have decided to move to Portland, Oregon. We have amazing friends there, it is more affordable than the Bay Area, and still has many of the things we love about Oakland, CA. It is beautiful, progressive, and clean. It is close to the radical faerie sanctuary that is near and dear to our hearts. It's a day's journey to see the Bay if we so desire. It is near some fantastic Witches we know. It is also charming in its own right- I have been several times and we have many friends there that tell us- "Come here! It is home!"

It is in Portland that we will settle, raise bees, and homestead further. It is in Portland that I will heal my community through Reiki, herbalism, and acupuncture. We just have to bide our time here a while longer.

Portland is weird enough for us. We need more weird.

So thank you, Ohio. You are good to us, allowing us to regroup and revel in family, good friends and interests, and a decent standard of living while we are here. We got to meet amazing people, and I picked up a student of the Craft while here who needed me. Don't think we are not appreciative of you, Ohio! We know what a struggle life could be- we had that constant struggle in California. While we are still considered "poor" on paper, Ohio is relatively easy and we are grateful for a few years of ease, particularly while Rowan is in these critical developmental years. We get to spend lots of quality time with him now, and that is such a gift.

Happy International Women's Day!

noreply@blogger.com (Witch Mom) — Thu, 07 Mar 2013 08:00:00 +0000

Tomorrow, March 8 is International Women's Day.

Ask Me Anything: Lucifer

noreply@blogger.com (Witch Mom) — Fri, 01 Mar 2013 08:00:00 +0000

In this semi-regular feature on Witch Mom, I answer select questions from readers. If you would also like to ask a question, just go to the "About/Contact" page. It could be about The Craft, parenting, pop culture, multi-religious education, healing, homeschooling, or whatever! I cannot promise to answer each one, but I will read them!

A reader asks about Lucifer, as I mention that god in a previous post as "someone that I work with".

They ask, "Lucifer, the Lord of Light – I’ve been running into printed snippets since 1984 that Lucifer may not be as Christians claim him to be.
The first time was in (a letter to the editor about an )article in 1984 about the writer’s experience with the Findhorn Institute in Scotland. Findhorn is famous for its success with trees and plants using personal communing and cooperation with plant energy and devas. That reader wrote that Findhorn has some relations with a LUCIS group, which he said is about Lucifer, the Angel of Light.

I was intrigued. Lucifer may not be as he is painted as? There were other teasers across the years, but as those were the years before Google, I had no way to follow up the leads. At the Diliman campus of the University of the Philippines, where I went to college, the scanty research I did painted him as frightening—in the Christian way.
Now, here you are saying that you work with Lucifer. I trust you, Lillitu. I know you will never follow anyone or anything evil. So, I am asking you, who is he really? I had always read that witches don’t recognize Lucifer or Satan as he’s a Judeo-Christian character. Now, here you are ... working with Lucifer. I just want to understand…and I assure you I am not in a ‘pitchfork-and-torch-carrying mode’.

Can (you) answer ... who he really is, is he really Fallen or a Prometheus, what does he ask of his followers, why do people follow him, how do you know he is really good or to be trusted?"

If you ask me, this is hawt.

Well, this is a big kettle of fish and quite a lot to tackle in one blog post! But I will do my best to talk about who Lucifer is, what is "evil", and why people work with him.

There are many cultures across the globe that talk about a Luciferian character- not all religions demonize the role of The Light-Bringer. Think of the qualities we ascribe often to light- illumination, knowledge, happiness. That is no accident. Let's start with the Judeo-Christian myth of Lucifer as a common place where we can all start:

Isaiah 13 and 14 are pretty heady stuff. God (let's call him Yahweh) is having a hissy fit over Babylon. His rant, given to Isaiah in prophetic dream is pretty horrifying:

6 Wail, for the day of the Lord is near;

it will come like destruction from the Almighty.[a]

7 Because of this, all hands will go limp,

every man’s heart will melt.

8 Terror will seize them,

pain and anguish will grip them;

they will writhe like a woman in labor.

They will look aghast at each other,

their faces aflame.

9 See, the day of the Lord is coming

—a cruel day, with wrath and fierce anger—

to make the land desolate

and destroy the sinners within it.

10 The stars of heaven and their constellations

will not show their light.

The rising sun will be darkened

and the moon will not give its light.

11 I will punish the world for its evil,

the wicked for their sins.

I will put an end to the arrogance of the haughty

and will humble the pride of the ruthless.

12 I will make people scarcer than pure gold,

more rare than the gold of Ophir.

13 Therefore I will make the heavens tremble;

and the earth will shake from its place

at the wrath of the Lord Almighty,

in the day of his burning anger.

14 Like a hunted gazelle,

Suffering for humanity.

like sheep without a shepherd,

they will all return to their own people,

they will flee to their native land.

15 Whoever is captured will be thrust through;

all who are caught will fall by the sword.

16 Their infants will be dashed to pieces before their eyes;

their houses will be looted and their wives ravished.

17 See, I will stir up against them the Medes,

who do not care for silver

and have no delight in gold.

18 Their bows will strike down the young men;

they will have no mercy on infants,

nor will they look with compassion on children.

19 Babylon, the jewel of kingdoms,

the pride and glory of the Babylonians,[b]

will be overthrown by God

like Sodom and Gomorrah.

So- to be clear- when Yahweh is angry, he's entitled to kill babies, rape women, and destroy cities. But Lucifer (who ostensibly stands up to this onslaught- since his "disobedience" and punishment is meted out immediately after god's ranting in the very next verses), is the "bad guy"? Here's the text where Yahweh takes Lucifer to task:

12 How you have fallen from heaven,

morning star, son of the dawn!

You have been cast down to the earth,

you who once laid low the nations!

13 You said in your heart,

“I will ascend to heaven;

I will raise my throne

above the stars of God;

I will sit enthroned on the mount of assembly,

on the utmost heights of Mount Zaphon.[b]

14 I will ascend above the tops of the clouds;

I will make myself like the Most High.”

15 But you are brought down to the realm of the dead,

to the depths of the pit.

16 Those who see you stare at you,

they ponder your fate:

“Is this the man who shook the earth

and made kingdoms tremble,

17 the man who made the world a wilderness,

who overthrew its cities

and would not let his captives go home?”

18 All the kings of the nations lie in state,

each in his own tomb.

19 But you are cast out of your tomb

like a rejected branch;

you are covered with the slain,

with those pierced by the sword,

those who descend to the stones of the pit.

Like a corpse trampled underfoot,

20 you will not join them in burial,

for you have destroyed your land

and killed your people.

Let the offspring of the wicked

never be mentioned again.

21 Prepare a place to slaughter his children

for the sins of their ancestors;

they are not to rise to inherit the land

and cover the earth with their cities.

The first part of this passage reads like a jealous and petulant god getting angry that someone else has gained a following. "Oh, you think you're hot shit, don'tcha Morningstar? Well, I am gonna fuck you up!"

Remember, Yahweh is the same god who declared as a commandment, "Thou shalt have no other gods before me." Given how many gods are actually out there, this seems a little selfish and petty to me. I have always thought that if a god (or an entire religion, for that matter) has merit, it will draw people without media campaigns, wars, missionary work, or mandates. The god in the books of the bible sounds like a bully to me.

I personally believe that when Lucifer was cast out of heaven with some of this angelic peers, he was merely ousted for being an upstart. For caring more for humanity that its (alleged) creator*. The later stuff about Lucifer killing a whole lot of people? I don't buy it. But know what I do buy? That Yahweh in these passages is a real jerk. Killing someone's offspring in perpetuity for a grudge you cannot let go? That kinda makes you a jerk.

I think it is important to remind people here that "History is written by the winners." This includes religious history. Christians and other monotheistic Abrahamic religions are the clear winners at this stage of the game. Through conversion, conquest, and genocide there are more of them- which gives them power to define other people's gods, religions, cultures, history, and actions.

You have to look at a lot of sources if you want to really understand any one deity. Especially one as misunderstood as Lucifer, also known in other cultures as Prometheus and Tawuzi Melek.
If you start with the Christian texts, you get an insurrection in heaven, where some powerful angels start a revolt, led by Lucifer. He is cast down and left to die, but some went with him.

It is said that Lucifer loved humanity so much that he chose people over Yahweh. He came to earth and gave gifts to help us thrive: fire, science, adornment, all of these things and more. Yahweh was pissed about it, frankly (remember, this is the same god who lied to Adam and Eve, telling them if they ate a certain fruit they would die- when in reality, it gave them knowledge and self awareness, making them as gods). Then he punished his playthings by casting them out of paradise for disobedience. So Lucifer being cast out is not a new scenario for this chest-thumper, calling himself "God". The reason the bible has Yahweh posturing a lot about "thou shalt have no other gods before me" is that he knows he isn't the nicest or prettiest one and he is petty and jealous that others get any attention at all.

Now if you combine other stories of him from non-Christian cultures, you see other facets to this being: a the Lord of Light, the morning star (Venus in daytime), first offspring and consort to God Herself, the fallen angel who put out the fires of hell to spare humanity torment, The good adversary (who challenges us to become better people), and father to a race of Witches. In my tradition, He is the God of this World.

Hope that helps. Stay tuned for part two- on evil!

* As most of you know, I do not believe that a solely male god created the universe.

Hasenpfeffer!

noreply@blogger.com (Witch Mom) — Mon, 25 Feb 2013 21:19:00 +0000

(Every time I say the name of this recipe, I say it like Yosemite Sam, I admit!)

So, I have never done just a straight-up recipe post before- but I am going to now. Why? As a budding "radical homemaker" and homesteader, growing and cooking high quality food and nourishing my family's minds, bodies, and spirits are one of the most important things I do for myself, my family, and the planet. As a family, we spend hours around the table- talking about our days, sharing, eating, and making offerings (our beloved dead altars are in the dining room!).

Many of you may be surprised to know that in a previous time, I apprenticed as a pastry chef. I also LOVE to cook, especially culinary experiments with ingredients that are home grown/raised or local. So when I got the opportunity for some local wild rabbit, I jumped at the chance to get some!

This hasenpfeffer which uses many home-sourced and local Ohio ingredients, in addition to the rabbit. Ethically sourced, pasture-raised pigs are plentiful here and I often have several types of pork in my freezer from local farms (many are Amish, some are just CSAs).

As many of you know, I grow my own mushrooms in the basement, year-round. And I grow herbs and vegetables of my own seasonally (and always have several herbs indoors year-round. What I do not have from my homestead, I got down at the food coop (a mere two blocks away!).

So here is a pictorial recipe:

Overnight, marinate a whole rabbit in 2 cups red wine, half cup red wine vinegar, 2.5 cups of onions, 3 carrots, 3 ribs of celery, and lots of thyme, salt, and pepper.
Be sure to cover it! I could smell it in my fridge even as it was covered.
It will make your butter smell like hasenpfeffer if you don't!

Render a bunch of bacon ends (these are so cheap from the Amish pork sellers here!)
to get the fat out and crisp up the bacon.
When it is crisp, remove with a slotted spoon onto a plate for later.
Use the fat to saute the veggies from the marinade mix.
(When you get to this stage, remove the rabbit onto a plate of seasoned flour for dredging and the veggies will be easy to fish out of the marinade with a slotted spoon.)

Figure out what, if any, mushrooms you wanna use. I like using medicinals to cook with- so I have maitake as well as beech here that I am going to add later.

Chop some UNSWEETENED (baking) chocolate. Kudos to you if you can find a source of fair trade chocolate.

Seasoned flour to dredge the rabbit in (makes for better browning).

A shot of my much-depleted cook and bake book collection. I purged about 2/3 when I moved from California. Excessive? Maybe...

Ingredients, waiting patiently for me... that's why I love cooking- it's so meditative.
(at least when I am not interrupted by "mommy? mommy? mommy?")

Once the bacon has been removed, saute the mirepoix (onion, celery, carrot)
and seasonings/herbs out of the marinade.
Once soft, place it on the plate with the crisped bacon and use the remaining fat to brown the dredged rabbit.

Save that marinade! It becomes the main cooking liquid!

Gorgeous purple rabbit (from the red wine marinade) ready to be dredged.

Veggies and bacon and herbs, all browned and yummy, waiting to go back into the pot.

Once the rabbit browns, add all remaining ingredients into the pot
(bacon, sautéd veggies, mushrooms, chocolate, marinade).
Cook til rabbit is cooked through and the house smells awesome.

The Latest Media Kerfuffle

noreply@blogger.com (Witch Mom) — Wed, 20 Feb 2013 08:00:00 +0000

When you are a member of a minority* religion (or "race" or gender, for that matter), you come to expect people mischaracterizing your ideas and culture. You expect bigotry and misinformation spread about you. It sadly comes with the territory.

You especially expect to have that bigotry come from people with a specific political agenda, like Fox "News". This is a network that literally invents news that fits its agenda, edits video to make people say the exact opposite of what they actually said, and adds constant right-wing commentary while delivering alleged "news".

So it was no surprise that Fox and Friends, the network's "Wake Up, America! It's a New Day to Hate!" program decided to rant for a few minutes on "Wiccans".

What do I think about all this? As I say, I am not surprised. I am not outraged either, considering the source. Anyone who takes Fox seriously is so far gone that reason will not aid them.

The reason Fox brought up the news item was that colleges are starting to recognize minority religions and our holidays in their academic calendars. The University of Missouri asked professors not to schedule exams on holidays listed on the calendar. It is a win for religious minorities everywhere and people who believe in pluralism and equality. The Fox "News" reaction is some of the expected backlash. It is simply small, scared people who are currently entrenched in power getting mad that others are being given a place at the table. It scares them.

What I am more concerned with is the reaction I see coming from the greater pagan community. Outraged petitions being spread on Facebook (that will not do a thing, as it is falling on deaf ears- Fox itself).

And of course, it was only a matter of time before one of our resident media whores decided this was a great opportunity to get more attention for himself. We have among us "Warlocks" (groan) that use every opportunity to get in front of the camera for personal ego stroking and profit (is it a surprise this dude not only owns stores, but mentions them in a press release supposedly about media bias? He sells the Craft to the highest bidder and then gets "outraged" that someone else gets to defile us? Puh-lease.)

People like Day make our community look like a bunch of buffoons. (And no, I am not talking about the excessive eyeliner here.) I am far more concerned about how we come across - OUR voices, not the voices of those outside wishing to mock us. People who are constantly posturing and pimping are the ones that we, as a community, need to worry about.

To the non-Witchy world out there reading this: Despite what Day says in his press release- not all Witches are Wiccan, and not all of us act like him (thank the gods). We do not posture and profit from ill gotten gains.

*When I say minority, I always mean political minority. Women, for example, make up more than half of the world's population- but for the most part have far less political power over their own lives and the lives of others. Same with Muslims and Witches in this country. We are a minority- in population, but when I use the term, I specifically mean political minority.

New Projects Around the Homestead

noreply@blogger.com (Witch Mom) — Wed, 13 Feb 2013 08:00:00 +0000

Winter has meant an inevitable slowing of homestead activity here in Ohio, but Rowan and I have done a few things around here. We took our herbs that were in containers inside for wintering over.

We made suet cakes and filled bird feeders for our feathered friends.

Our suet cake, hanging. Squirrels got it, mostly- but I did see goldfinches and cardinals on it.

We hung the seed on the front porch.

We went on an organizing binge and started thrift store shopping for baskets.
Here, Rowan plays with a thrift store toy.

I discovered plarn (plastic bag yarn).
I am making a rug for wet muddy feet for our back door.

There's on of those thrift store baskets, with my plarn in it.

Our backyard view of sunset.

Links about the Gender Agenda

noreply@blogger.com (Witch Mom) — Mon, 11 Feb 2013 08:00:00 +0000

You too can socialize your girl into a
life of servitude! This toy is real "classy".

I like to keep up on what is happening out there in the world of gender perception and news. Here are some of the recent stories I think are worth looking at:

In Sweden, toys are no longer being marketed to kids by gender. Is this some progressive hippie all wood toy manufacturer? Nope- it's the Swedish equivalent to Toys R Us! It is a huge movement in Sweden: "Since 2008, the government has spent 110 million Swedish crowns ($16.3 million) on promoting gender equality in schools, including the introduction of laws requiring teachers to actively work to reverse gender stereotypes.

The country also proposed a new single gender-neutral pronoun – 'hen' – to replace 'he' and 'she' in order to minimize gender stereotyping."- from the article.

Rowan has trucks and dolls.

Contrast the Swedish approach with the American company E-bates, who market to parents of boys and girls, rather differently. Color me annoyed. I go out of my way to present all options to my son and allow him to choose. This less-than-subtle message to kids and parents alike on how to dress themselves is infuriating.

Not that this new study is telling me anything that I didn't know already, but for boneheads who insist that men are from Mars and women are from Venus (different planets, different species- really?), we now have a large comprehensive study that calls bullshit on the gender shenanigans once and for all. I am glad that the study exists, even if you are saying "duh" over and over as you read it.

The pink ghetto of the toy section.
I hate the blue ghetto, too.

And on a lighter note- did you know that male modeling is now being done by men and women? How very interesting. The interview is very refreshing.

Looking and Feeling Young

noreply@blogger.com (Witch Mom) — Thu, 07 Feb 2013 08:00:00 +0000

The other day, I got (what most people would call) a compliment on my looks. They said that I "didn't look 42", and "looked at least 10 years younger".

In addition to having some feyness, some healthy fat on my bones, and not smoking (anymore); I also didn't tan relentlessly when I was younger (yay, gothdom!). These things help a lot in keeping bodies healthy and not overly ravaged by time. But I also attribute my youthful appearance to what I eat and put on my body as well (and chasing a preschooler!).

I do not use commercial beauty products anymore, and I think this helps a lot. To clean my body and "make it up", I use natural products, most of which are much less expensive than commercially bought stuff and so much better for your body. I no longer use a foundation- and the last time I did, I was using tinted moisturizer by Dermalogica or Dr. Haushka. I don't put on a lot of makeup- and when I do use it, a liquid eyeliner (body shop), and a lipstick (I have amassed quite the collection) are about it.

I am still using the "no poo" and "no conditioner" that I wrote about last June. I think my hair is healthy and shiny. I also make our deodorant, our first aid creams, our cold medicines, and our moisturizers. I am in the process of making a migraine remedy making tincture of feverfew, white willow bark, and California poppy.

I have dry skin and I used to shower then oil my body (just a combination of good-for-skin oils, with olive as the base). Now I use a sugar scrub exfoliant that has plenty of oil and essential oils (I switch it up for fun- sometimes it is lemongrass for purification, sometimes I want tingly cinnamon!) and moisturizes as I wash. A month's supply of sugar scrub is about 21 cents- and once you invest in essential oils, you will have most of the ingredients around to keep yourself in supply. I only shower every few days because of my dryness. So I need to moisturize in between bathing. In the summer, I need a lotion (that I make myself)- but now that I am back in dry midwestern winter, I actually use raw unrefined shea butter on my face daily! I personally think it makes my skin radiant, and before it completely soaks in (it is solid at room temperature), it forms a weather barrier on my face that really helps prevent tiny eczema patches.

Speaking of eczema- I don't really get it anymore (again, I attribute whole foods and natural toiletries)- and if there ever is a tiny bit, it comes in smaller than a dime. Carrot oil or shea butter takes care of it immediately.

So, what does our family eat? There's a joke going around that "natural foods" and "organic foods" are simply what our grandparents called "food".

Here's an example: this week, when we had tacos, we went out of our way to get corn tortillas without crap in them (most of the standard supermarkets here carry tortillas with unpronouncible ingredients- bleh!). I cooked a pork roast (that came from a pig that was purchased in advance, raised on a farm in Appalachia, and slaughtered and processed with the cuts and preparation we specified) in the crock pot all day with onions, cumin, oregano, and salt. I soaked overnight, then simmered pinto beans all day and pureed them in the food processor with leftover bacon fat from our nitrate free, grass-fed bacon, olive oil, garlic, oregano, and cumin. We ate it with crap-free loca; Amish sour cream from the co-op, fresh made salsa (not by me, but local) and cheese. While the meal took all day to cook, there was little actual hands-on work for it. It was delicious and I have leftover pork for lunches and refried beans in the freezer for future meals.

So to make a long post short, I guess my "secret" is simple living and avoiding overly processed stuff. What are your secrets to staying healthy and young?

The Nature of God Herself and the Universe

noreply@blogger.com (Witch Mom) — Sun, 03 Feb 2013 12:44:00 +0000

Originally taken from here, no artist credit at that site.
Pretty, no?

In my theology, I embrace paradox- after all, I am a hard polytheist compared to most neo-Wiccans (who believe all goddesses are "the goddess" and all gods are "the god". Yet I believe that we (gods, humans, rocks, and everything) are All One. We are God Herself, having an individuated experience through us. Individuality is an illusion. In this, I find common ground with monotheists like Sufis, mystic Jews, Gnostics, and Unitarian Universalists.

"Universe, may every aspect of my being be converted to truth. May every cell fall into place and serve a higher plan. I no longer wish to be who I was. I wish to be who I am." -Marianne Williamson

This post I came across a few months ago really spoke to me and encouraged me to write a bit about what I believe about the divine. Hard work to do, really. Most gnosis I have of Them is experiential, so putting this information into words for others to grasp is a difficult task, so bear with me.

I personally see the individuated gods the ways I see humans- we are individuated so that the Star Goddess can experience life individually- which is foreign and novel to Her. She gets a corporeal experience with we humans, and a non-corporeal experience with gods (and other beings like them). She gets to experience all the wonderful manifestations through all of us- gender and sexuality, bodily and energetic life in its infinite manifestations, and so much more. In this way (among others) we are the gods' equals.

"You are not a drop in the ocean, you are the entire ocean in a drop." -Rumi

Lucifer, Lord of Light.

The gods that I work closely with- Lilith, Lucifer, Ganesh, The King and Queen of Elphame*- all of them are very different from one another. They all have varying "flavors" energetically and have different roles to play and myriad lessons to impart. They are indeed individuals as much as I am one- separate from you and everyone else, dear reader. To think that all the myriad gods are one is correct and incorrect. They are actually One, but that One includes all goddesses and us, too.

To lump all "male" deity into one camp and all "female" into another creates yet another fiction (in addition to the fiction of individuation). It creates the fiction that the gods have gender. They don't. We choose to see them in specific ways because humans cannot help the clasification we do. We like categories and place everything into them. (Just ask any ceremonial magician, with those correspondance charts! I kid, I kid!)

Work with deity for me means experiencing them individually, getting to know them intimately. In this way, I can get close to Her- the All-There-Is, who is terrible and in many respects unknowable. It is the same with human relationships too. Living in peace with others and finding resolution is a religious act.

We experience mundane life as individuals and we experience others in this fashion, too. And that is part of the truth- but not the whole truth. The whole truth is that we are all Her, all connected and One. And at amazing, breathtaking, awe-inspiring times I can feel that. It's why I do magick and have ritual. It's why I partake of divine possession and entheogens. I can feel it when I have the best Sex. Sometimes that feeling is pleasant, but often the sensation is overwhelming and uncomfortable. So the individuation is a blessing and a gift to me as much as it is to Her, experiencing individuated life through me.

Lilith

In my tradition, we often work with a specific triad** of goddesses (who represent not just three moon phases, but yes, also that) and dyads of gods (we often call them divine twins). (We also have twinnings of gods and goddesses, 'cuz we roll like that.) Often novices who do not understand the theological underpinnings in the tradition see the twins as simple dualisms and conflate them with neo-Wiccan fertility pairings. I assure you, they are NOT. We have twins because as Rumi so beautifully put it, ""God turns you from one feeling to another and teaches you by means of opposites, so that you will have two wings to fly - not one."

That's it for now. But if you have any comments or questions, I would love to hear them, either in the comments below or on the Facebook page!

* and of course, I work with more than those, but those are the most common "go-to" beings.
**and where there are three, there are always four!

Happy Wolf Moon (or, a Love Letter to My Son)

noreply@blogger.com (Witch Mom) — Mon, 28 Jan 2013 19:40:00 +0000

Dear Rowan,

I wrote this the day of the Wolf Moon of 2013. That moon hung low, yellow, and pendulous in the sky this morning, pre-dawn as you and I drove your father to work. We sang, "Look up, it's the moon!" to you in the back seat. Did you know that we sing every day now because of you?

Yesterday, we celebrated your birthday and your grandparents from both sides trekked to see you and spoil you rotten. You had kids over to play "Bozo buckets", pin the tail on the donkey, and to bust a piñata. You got gifts and affection and attention galore. I made a pink dragon cake for you and added to my birthday playlist on my iPod. I brought out the felt banner that I made for your first birthday, and the green pillar candle we have had since your birth altar that we now burn on your birthdays. I had everyone sign your special book that we have had since your baby shower.

It was three years ago on the Wolf Moon that I labored with you. That day was an adventure and uncharted territory for me, but it was nothing compared to the adventure we are having together now. Motherhood is amazing and I am so lucky to have you in my life. You make me laugh and smile every day and I am so grateful for that. We learn and share, grow and change- together. You are my favorite person and I love you so much.

You were born in the San Francisco Bay Area and we currently live in Columbus Ohio. We'll probably live here five or so more years. We moved here for you- a sacrifice, yes. I use the word not to martyr myself, but in the original meaning of the word- "to make sacred". As parents, we opt to make decisions that we would not make if we were single and childless. And we do it with joy, freely and lovingly. We moved to Ohio because needed a cheap place that was closer to extended family and a support network (so we could get back on our feet financially while still giving you a childhood worth nostalgia- one with playing outdoors, music lessons, and camping vacations).

Right now, daddy is working to get back to college, and mama is working on finishing her grad degree, too. Once we have those pieces of paper, we will have better skills to support our family the way we want to- flexible schedules (so we can spend oodles of time with you!) and decent wages for our work (so we can live somewhere nice with you and give you experiences worth having).

Here in Columbus, we have the ability to pay off student loans and live cheaply (as students with a kid are wont to do) for a while. We don't plan to be here forever, but while we are here, I get to show you wonders like snow forts and lightning bugs. We have a great zoo, an amazing library, and cool science museum for kids here. I am unschooling/homeschooling by choice- as the different child of weird parents, I want you to live as free from judgment and scorn as possible. As your main teacher, I set a few goals, but you choose most of where and how we learn. Here in the midwest, you get to experience not-so-subtle seasons as the Wheel of the Year turns and we teach you about nature, the sabbats, and the world around you.

I cannot wait for the next phase of our family's evolution- back west, but to a new city. In the meantime, I am enjoying every minute of your preschool and early elementary years here in the Capitol City. We are in the right place for this time.

I love you so much.

Love, Your mama.

Watching My Son Grow: Goal Setting

noreply@blogger.com (Witch Mom) — Sun, 06 Jan 2013 13:31:00 +0000

I have always be a "do-er". I am a list maker, a goal setter, a strategic planner. I also believe in letting kids be kids and letting play and natural exploration govern their learning. So how do I strike a balance between these two philosophies with my son?

Introducing... "The Rowan Station"! It is a kid-height bulletin board in our kitchen that helps Rowan focus on things we (his father and I consult on these things with Rowan) think he needs to work on. They are interests that come up (Soon he will be taking violin, for example. I never would have picked that instrument- Rowan picked it. (I am more of a drum girl, myself.) I look forward to rusty hinge noises during practice for the coming years- groan!), as well as developmental milestones, and age-appropriate topics. We pick five- it seems like a reasonable amount of things to juggle and maintain interest without being overwhelming. With five things, we can switch from topic to topic, so nothing gets boring or seems like we are drilling him (what could divert enthusiasm faster?).

Right now, as Rowan approaches his third birthday, this is what he is working on:

1. Phonics. He knows his alphabet, and is about halfway through knowing the sound of the consonants. It's very exciting, and we cheer him on and tell him how close he is to learning to read himself. He is so excited to learn to read. We go to the library weekly and check out a huge tote bag full of books. We get him picture books as well as young adult chapter books that aren't overly scary. Right now, besides picture books, he is hearing stories from Rudyard Kipling, Maurice Sendak, and Roald Dahl. He loves books and memorizes the shorter ones so he can tell the stories to himself when we are not reading aloud. It is adorable.

2. Manners. Oh my. How this mama wishes that manners were an innate quality humans have. But alas, my preschooler is a beastie with no sense of propriety. Manners is an umbrella term we are using for respecting others and being a good citizen, family member, and friend. What are "bad manners"? Littering, crowding people, watching people in the bathroom, staring at others while in a restaurant, chewing with your mouth full, picking toe jam or your nose at the table (ugh!), and interrupting conversations (particularly with shouting, whining, or demands). We are focusing on giving people space, privacy, and table manners while eating right now.

Rowan scored very high in problem solving
in his preschool assessment. Here he is,
piecing a puzzle together.

3. Numbers and Counting. We are spanning the bridge between knowing the memorized sequence of numbers in their order and using that to actually count objects properly. We have him in the kitchen when we cook, "helping us" by counting out tortillas, for example.

The first three items are things we are actively working on, daily (and Rowan is right there, on board). The last two items are things that he is ready to do, according to all the experts, but is not doing as well as he could be. We have them on the list as a reminder to the adults that we should be putting the idea out there and raising the bar gradually on these items.

4. Getting Dressed and Undressed. He has shown no interest in actually doing it himself, which surprises me. He is so eager to be a "big boy" in other areas. We ask him to put on his jacket and after we get the zipper in the right position, to zip it up. He can put on his own frog boots (although he still has not mastered which foot!) but it is harder for other shoes without pull-up handles. He shows no interest in dressing himself, but wants to pick out his own clothes. I think the next step will be that he gets to pick out things if he is willing to put them on (or try).

5. Potty Learning. We would love for him to be actively trying, but right now he isn't. We ask all the time if he wants to sit on the potty, but right now he would rather use a diaper. He actively poops in his diaper instead of trying the potty. Sigh. We are not pressuring him- what's the point? There will come a time when he is ready and it will be a quick process when that time comes. In the meantime, it is something we keep reminding him of because he is at the age to start sometime soon.

If you notice (in the first picture), he also has a small calendar on the board- to teach him about the passage of time. He is curious about it and uses the words "today", "tomorrow", and the days of the week incorrectly at times. So I wanted to show him what they actually mean by using a calendar. I put events on there that will help him mark the passage of time (birthdays, Friday Family Fun Night, potlucks, storytimes, etc.), and we have him cross off the days as they pass. I am hoping that by using a visual aid, he will come to a better understanding of this abstract concept.

How do you teach your kids (both academic subjects at home and life skills)? Do you set goals, either privately amongst adults or including the child(ren)?

My Yule, Appalachian Christmas, Mennonite Christmas/Chanukah with Rowan

noreply@blogger.com (Witch Mom) — Wed, 02 Jan 2013 14:28:00 +0000

Opening Yule gifts.

Life is weird and delightful. Let me just get that out of the way from the get-go. I know that as a Witch (who is a hard polytheist and has a very particular theology counter to what many people know and experience), my life is always going to be a little surreal. That's OK. I chose this life and am happy to live it.

Raising Rowan with our (his father is also a Witch) values while simultaneously respecting the religions of his relatives and friends is always challenging and takes a lot longer than keeping to ourselves or giving up/in to Santa Claus and the typical American secular Christmas.

New Trike!

So this time of year, we celebrate Yule as a family on the 21st, then Christmas with extended family, and then Chanukah with close friends. We counted down to Yule using an advent calendar with special fun and/or candy each day. The morning of the solstice, we opened gifts that were placed beneath a holiday tree that we decorated ourselves (as an event on the calendar!).

I am all about celebrating the traditions that were/are ours as pagans, polytheists, and Witches. I also let Rowan know that Christians do these things too- because they wanted in on the Witchy fun.* So we do the tree, gifts, lights, feasts, all the fun things that most people like about Christmas, but aren't specifically Christian in origin.

A "fallen" snow angel.

Rowan's grandparents are a little puzzled when we tell them that "we celebrated on the 21st", even though they know we are Witches. They ask few questions because they are afraid of the answers. That's OK. At each sabbat, it's all about connection- retying ourselves to the Wheel and each other. So I will not diminish the connection by forcing my views on anyone. And I expect the same from Christians and Jews.

Snow demon

After Yule (in addition to the advent calendar, the tree, and gifts, we had a log that burns three candles, had held a sabbat with other trad Witches in the area at our home), we trekked to Appalachia to Rowan's paternal grandparent's home for Christmas. We had a party that evening with aunties and uncles and cousins (where the family participates in a white elephant gift exchange and receives gifts from the family matriarch), then opened gifts for one another. Rowan made out like a bandit, as did the elder Kunnings- we got a flatscreen TV. (More on this in subsequent blog posts, I am sure.)

Rowan and E.

After several days relaxing with grandparents, we journeyed northward to Bluffton, a charming Mennonite settlement town in Northwest Ohio.

There we celebrated a family Christmas (late) with a family not our own. We traveled there to see our friend, R, and her daughter, E. We know them (and R's partner, D, from our childbirth class with the midwife we shared.

Our children were born a week apart and they have been friends their whole lives, literally. We are close to R and D and cannot wait until they leave San Francisco for Pennsylvania. After that, we will be spending one weekend a month with one another, rotating PA for OH, after they move. Huzzah! For now, we keep in touch with Skype and infrequent visits.

Rowan and E.

Can I just say? I love the way that R's family is with one another. It is a huge family, and very close. They are intellectuals and value education and the arts. It is a pleasure to play "Family Fun Game" with them or watch them open their gift exchange. They are also very active in social justice movements and pacifists, which is a welcome change after Appalachia- where Fox News, polarization, and guns are the norm. R's father is Jewish and her mother is Mennonite. She always resonated with the Jewish side of herself and when she was pregnant, she converted to Judaism and now she and her daughter are Jewish and they do shabbat every week and this time of year, they celebrate Chanukah. So we celebrate with them, too.

My holidays are far from the norm, but I love them. I love that Rowan is growing up with a big universe and knows all kinds of people.

*When he gets older, I will let him know that many Christians do not understand that what they do is pagan in origin- and that is OK. We do not need to rub it in their faces, as long as Christians do not begrudge us our fun, we will not piss on their parade, either. (And most of the Christians that we know and love do understand that most cultural trappings of Christmas are actually Euro-pagan and do not care.)