With These Hands

Just checking in...

2011-10-26T16:07:00.000-07:00

I just wanted to let you know I am in fact planning on participating in National Novel Writing Month this year and will be posting on this blog.

Also, I'm trying out Tumblr.

Old but true

2011-08-01T23:31:00.001-07:00

All is not lost, just forgotten.

2011-07-31T22:22:00.000-07:00

I've got some ideas and will hopefully be bringing this baby back soon. I've made a few crazy changes lately.

Ridin' a bike.

2011-03-20T16:49:00.000-07:00

I recently got into riding a bicycle again (thanks to Amy) and yesterday I rode 11 or so miles round trip to Target. I used the 4th St Bicycle Boulevard. It was very pleasant. It was a bit chilly and there weren't that many other bicyclists around.

Last week, I rode in my very first group ride in South LA with C.I.C.L.E. and it was pretty fantastic. I definitely want to do more of those.

The middle ground

2011-02-28T14:09:00.000-08:00

This weekend I managed to take a tour of downtown LA and had a few thoughts about gentrification.

Huge generalization alert: There sometimes seems to be two camps. You get your people who are pro-gentrification and think that every shopping center should have a Target and a Trader Joe's and some apartment buildings with that faux-Italian exterior. Then you get your too cool for school folks who think that neighborhoods should retain "gritty authenticity" and would probably advocate that for a neighborhood to remain real it can't grow or change at all, in any way so they get to feel cool by association or something.

Both of those suck. There's totally a middle ground. Right?

Things

2011-02-18T15:28:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I think it would be pleasant to just rock back and forth for a while and mutter quietly, "You totally ARE smart enough."

Then I question why I never took a stats class or any math beyond trigonometry/pre-calc.

9 to 5 at LACMA

2011-02-15T11:26:00.001-08:00

Hey--they're screening 9 to 5 at 9:30 pm this Friday at LACMA's Bing Theater. $7 for Members.

Check out some of the other upcoming programs as well.

Time for an update.

2011-02-13T19:05:00.000-08:00

Oh, hey, I uh, seem to have forgotten you.

I've had a bit of a freak out this year but things seem to be steering themselves back onto a path.

25 Things I've done recently in no particular order:

1) Ridden a train without pants
2) Sang karaoke... a lot
3) Watched sporting events
4) Eaten Russian food
5) Made lemonade from scratch
6) Visited an abandoned zoo
7) Gone to the Getty
8) Eaten ice cream
9) Painted my nails. A lot.
10) Gone to LACMA
11) Gotten lost
12) Walked my dog
13) Met a brand new baby
14) Went on a tour of Compton
15) Read several newspapers
16) Cried
17) Kissed someone
18) Lied
19) Felt regretful
20) Took mental pictures of the downtown LA skyline
21) Asked stupid questions
22) Wished someone would host a potluck
23) Laundry (finally)
24) Gone out in the middle of the night just to buy a book
25) Ridden a bicycle

Goal for the year.

2011-01-23T21:16:00.000-08:00

Do more good stuff.

Los Angeles Metro Missed Connection Round Up

2011-01-19T10:19:00.001-08:00

People ride public transportation in Los Angeles, and they're totally looking for loooooooove.

Blonde girl probably headed towards the Flyaway at Union Station on the Red Line on some exciting trip--there's a guy out there who thinks you're tops. (This makes me visualize some kind of noir situation where she's in this white dress with platinum blonde hair and he's sitting at Traxx drinking a martini.)

You, sir, headed towards Pasadena on the Metro Rapid 780, home of the Trader Joe's (another popular location for Missed Connections) T-shirt and a hoodie is looking for you.

Girl in the gray slacks who got on the train to North Hollywood--he never mentions what subway you're in, but he's looking for you. I bet it was 7th St Metro Station.

It sounds like the Metro Bus 28 is filled with literary, tattooed folk going west on Olympic.

This reads like a poem on the 33 in Venice. There is a gift lurking for you, Mr. Anklet.

Paraphrase

2011-01-15T20:06:00.001-08:00

"I knew it was you as you were the only one not wearing black."

Character Flaws

2011-01-13T20:11:00.001-08:00

Sometimes I think I walk a thin line between doing things because they are what I'm supposed to do or proper, and doing things because they are insane and will make a great story.

Book List 2011

2011-01-12T09:48:00.000-08:00

I'm going to make a sincere effort to read more (I know!) books this year. I read a lot, but sometimes I get into the habit of rereading things. So I'm going to track NEW things I read.

Not necessarily "new" but things that are "new to me."

If you have suggestions for books I might not have read/might like, please put them in the comments.

So far on my book list, I've been working through currently:

1. The Autobiography of Mark Twain, Volume 1 (I read this in bits at home as it is WAY TOO BIG to cart around in my purse for reading on the train/bus.)
2. Cleopatra, A Life by Stacy Schiff

2011 goals

2011-01-10T17:45:00.000-08:00

One of my goals is to go to Egypt or have procured solid travel plans (plane tickets) before 2011 is over.

I met someone yesterday (this is actually a much longer story because it is weird but not the point right now) who is going to Ecuador in 2 weeks to volunteer in the jungle for half a year.

This seems, to me, and the mindset I've been in all of last year (well, most of last year... no... all...) like the greatest fucking thing in the world.

I'm currently working on how to quit you, Los Angeles. We need to take a break. There are too many things that bug me about you, both your fault and not.

Halley's Comet

2011-01-04T03:05:00.000-08:00

I was reading part of the book that Chris got me for Christmas/my birthday and just decided that if I don't end up killing myself, my plan is to live until 2061.

30. Post a pic of yourself.

2010-12-30T07:54:00.000-08:00

Nope. /from the paaaaaaaaaaaaast

29. Your opinions on the television show Glee

2010-12-29T17:00:00.000-08:00

NOTE: Forgot to copy paste. THIS IS FROM THE PAST. Hope I don't eff it up again. Blah blah blah, London.

OOOOOOOOOhhhhhhhhhh. Lordy.

Okay. Glee.

Let's get started.

So, at first I didn't want to watch Glee because I assumed any quirky show about a show choir on Fox would get canceled and there was no point in getting attached. Then everyone was all like, "Whoo, let's watch this show at Elizabeth's and it will be SO COOL, OMG." So I watched it and got kind of into it. (Look, I liked choir in school, okay? God.)

It bugged me that it was called Glee when it is CLEARLY a show choir.

Other thing that bugs me intensely about the show!

The sort of basic premise about outsiders and stereotypes and cliches and everything, is destroyed by the fact that either the writing is lazy or ineffective. Nothing's actually being subverted here. So instead of what I think they are intending, which is commentary on the cliches and stereotypes of high school, they just end up reinforcing them.

Sassy black girl! Dumb jock! Virginal cheerleader who is actually slutty! Fat girl likes to eat candy! Baby Gay! The Asian guy who speaks now! Shy Asian girl!

It's super lazy or super offensive to watch the show and see plots and jokes where it is literally the new fat girl wants candy and she'll sing in Glee.

Other thoughts:

1) Mercedes should have told Kurt it wasn't her sublimating her desire for a boyfriend with food, it was her sublimating her anger at him for being a shitty friend and ditching her all the time just because he found a new boy. That was a shitty thing. Everyone's been there--had a friend who gets in a relationship and suddenly that's all they are all about. Shut up, Kurt.

2) I sometimes feel like this show is Popular Version 2: The Musical, especially with the whole "jock secretly likes theater/music" thing, which makes me wonder about Ryan Murphy's high school experiences and also makes me think the fat girl is totally April Tuna 2.0. Right? Did anyone else watch Popular? Okay.

3) Rachel and Finn are really unlikeable. And I can't tell if this is because the show makes a huge point of saying "Rachel is unlikeable and all the other characters hate her" and so we're supposed to hate her, which might work, except Sue is also unlikeable and all the other characters hate her and I totally think she's one of the better things about the show. The problem is they write Rachel so poorly. She's basically Sam, all over again, only instead of journalism, it's show business. (To continue reflecting on original Glee.)

So you have this outsider who is just like, "I'm such an outsider and nobody likes me," and you're like, because you suck and you're a poorly written caricature of a human being who suddenly, randomly changes motivation for no reason. (Crush on Will? What? Does anyone else remember that episode? Did that make any sense?)

I would write about why Finn is unlikeable but the reason Finn is unlikeable is more like, "He is literally just a blank slate and is incredibly boring."

4) Glee could be a really good show. But instead it's just kind of an okay one, with ambition and really good merchandising.

28. I don't know. Celebrity Crushes or something.

2010-12-28T11:00:00.000-08:00

NOTE: Since I'm going to be doing the Christmas and then the London thing, I am setting these up now, on the 24th, and hopefully the little "post date and time" setting will work. I've already screwed this up once. Hopefully that's the limit on the amount of times I can screw something up. (Untrue. I have proof.) LALALALALA. I shall change this every time now. And by change this, I mean add an extra few sentences when I copy/paste. I SCREWED IT UP AGAIN. ALL YOU FOOLS WITH GOOGLE READER ARE GOING TO BE LIKE WTF.

You want an honest answer to this question?

Buster Bunny from Tiny Toons. When I was in kindergarten, one of my friends and I used to pretend we were Babs and Buster Bunny and that we were married. We enacted really dramatic soap opera-ish stories.

First celebrity crush that wasn't an animated figure? (So, not Tuxedo Mask from Sailor Moon or Prince Aladdin.)

I accidentally did not copy the part where I mentioned in elementary school or middle school, it would probably have been JTT or Devon Sawa so now I have to rewrite it. Also, this movie: Wild America. Also, Now and Then.

27. 3 fav girl names, 3 fav boy names, 3 names for a pet

2010-12-27T15:00:00.000-08:00

26. Name one place you would love to visit one day

2010-12-26T19:00:00.000-08:00

NOTE: Since I'm going to be doing the Christmas and then the London thing, I am setting these up now, on the 24th, and hopefully the little "post date and time" setting will work.

Egypt. For those who don't know, it's my life goal to go to Egypt. Everywhere else is just frosting (and even though I'm writing this FROM THE PAST and when this posts, I should theoretically be ON AN AIRPLANE to LONDON), it's just frosting. Delicious, seeing Sonya, London, all the stuff my dad is super excited about frosting, but frosting.

If I don't go to Egypt, I'll probably die unfulfilled.

I think I should set a time limit on this. Like, I should plan this trip before I turn 26. Would anyone like to come?

ETA: Whoops. Already published this one and forgot to do the "publish on" date thing. So those of you with Google Reader probably just got a sneak preview. So I'll change this up a bit and do a bunch of nonsense here.

You're all invited to come to Egypt with me. In fact, it would be really exciting if a bunch of people did. I will practice my language skills for you.

A year in review.

2010-12-26T00:48:00.000-08:00

My yearly tradition--this dates back to Xanga.

2010 was kind of a mistake. I always joked about how I didn't want to be 24, that I'd off myself so I could have The Stereophonics "Local Boy in the Photograph" played at my funeral.

As you can see, I didn't end up doing that and so this whole year seems to have been a year where I was just perpetually on the wrong foot. Some seriously awful things happened, real life awful things, and I'm still dealing with the emotional repercussions of that.

I've obsessed over stupid little things because it's the only way I have of letting out bits of stress over the one thing I can't quite back away from or figure out, the thing that makes me realize I don't really know who I am or what I want. It makes me scared to be by myself, because the thoughts in my head are all jumbled up and have been for most of 2010.

Someone asked me a while back "what I was looking for" and the person who asked it, and the situation in which the question was posed--it had so many layers to it. They could have been talking about the situation at hand, the situation we found ourselves in, the situation we found ourselves in so many months ago, or how to navigate the future now that everything was different but surface-wise, exactly the same.

Anyway, those are just some thoughts. I wish I had a better way of expressing myself than a blog. Bad girls don't keep diaries--they haven't the time. But since blogs are so instantaneous, I don't think it counts. I know I'm not a good girl, at least.

Here we are: first post of every month.

January

I have an obsession with kid stuff. It's true.

And currently, on my wall, I have taped up the New Year's Resolution that Sonya made for me.

February

What I wore.
I don't know if I've mentioned this before but I have a thing about lists.

This is what I wore today:

To work:

Navy blue American Apparel dress layered over gray tank top from NY and Company. Blue and white pearl necklace. Gray pumps from Nine West. White cardigan from Target.

To yoga: purple thermal pants from American Apparel, yellow terry cloth tank top. Flannel shirt.

March

2010

All of the things you think you want, you don't really want. All of the things you joke about wanting, you really want. And nobody ever takes you seriously.

When you think I'm kidding, I'm being deadly serious. When you think I'm being serious, I'm probably kidding.

April
May

There were no posts in April. However, include the first post from May I talk about April. There was like a gap of two months here.

The thing about April.
I haven't really posted much--since March, which is fitting when I really consider it, in the way that I like things to be. June should be okay.

It's funny because if nothing else, all the things I thought I was going to be worried or upset about sort of seem really stupid. Not like I've transcended it or anything, just that when I consider it, they seem really stupid.

June

Your Daily Dose of Horror

You absolutely need to look at these pictures of birds caught in the oil spill in the Gulf. Your humanity depends on it.

They are probably all dead. They are a drop in the bucket of the number of dead wildlife.

July

I Write Like

This is probably some kind of witchcraft but I tried the "I Write Like" thing and got David Foster Wallace.

I bet you're wondering what I chose.

I picked this bit of fine prose. Just rereading it again makes me itchy. That really was the worst.

As fun as it is to generate a little badge for Twitter, though, I still firmly believe I write like me.

August

August

I apparently am only writing one post a month, now. I've sort of fallen into some kind of weird mental trap.

I worked both on the story from ScriptFrenzy (which I decided should be a novella and not a film script and an artist trading card yesterday.

September

The Autobiography Famous

I was reading a post on Gawker about books to read this fall and it got me pumped because I have a thing where I really like reading biographies and autobiographies and just remembering that Mark Twain's autobiography is coming out was enough to make me super excited in the worst best way.

This shall be glorious and we shall all be victorious. Also contemplating for realsies switching to Tumblr instead of just half-assing it.

October

Fun with quotations:

"Some cynical Frenchman has said that there are two parties to a love-transaction: the one who loves and the other who condescends to be so treated."

Which side are you on?

November

NaNoWriMo Update

I haven't really made a lot of progress.

Also, it's both the easiest and hardest thing in the world to lie to yourself.

December

2. Tell us about your piercings or tattoos, if you have any.

I have two holes in both of my ears, in the lobes.

The first was when I was a baby and my parents took me to get my ears pierced. Apparently I cried so much, my dad felt awful and started crying too.

My second earlobe piercing I got during the summer between freshman and sophomore year of college. I called Craig (boyfriend of the time) and said I was going to get my ears pierced at the mall. As soon as I did it, I called him again to say, "Why did you let me do that, it hurt?"

That conversation is a pretty good recap of our entire relationship, actually.

I have no tattoos but I do want a tattoo of two things. An apple and a quote from East of Eden. If you don't know which one... it's "timshel."

-----------------------

As you can see, there have been a few themes which have carried on throughout the year. It's been a hard year and a strange year and in so many ways, a pointless, aimless year. I'm not going to cry or drink or text everyone. I want something, I just don't know how to ask for it. And I felt like I had to do something before the year ends or I leave or whatever. So I just wrote this. It might be more a product of the never-ending rain and the useless OTC sleeping pill I took to try and get rest than anything else, though. I don't know. Don't take me seriously. Nobody ever does and I wouldn't want you to be the first.

Because it's relevant:

25. Tell us about the last book you read

2010-12-25T12:00:00.000-08:00

NOTE: Since I'm going to be doing the Christmas and then the London thing, I am setting these up now, on the 24th, and hopefully the little "post date and time" setting will work.

This is about to be embarassing. The last thing I can remember reading that wasn't me rereading something was Barbara Kingslover. My mom gave me a set of her books a while ago and I ended up reading through The Bean Trees, Animal Dreams and Pigs in Heaven.

I really enjoyed them.

I need to read some new stuff soon.

24. Tell us about the last movie you saw in theaters.

2010-12-24T07:15:00.000-08:00

The last movie I saw in theaters was Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part Uno.

But the last movie I saw recently was The Black Swan. (I also saw The Social Network but I don't want to talk about that except to say, goddamn I was so annoyed by that movie. First world problems, yo.)

The Black Swan is very good, kind of. It is more like it is very intense and that can be mistaken for good--which is not necessarily a bad thing.

23. Something something Lady GaGa

2010-12-23T15:37:00.001-08:00

[redacted]

22. Do you play a sport? Tell us about it. If not, tell us about a different hobby you may have.

2010-12-22T16:56:00.002-08:00

Sports I played in high school: swimming.

Other HS activities: band! (I played french horn.)

College: Band, where I solely played the mellophone.

Other hobbies: nail polish, urban exploring, writing stories.

Nail polish is pretty self-explanatory. I collect it and like painting my nails with it.

Urban exploring is something that i don't know if it really exists or if I made it up. I like walking places and trying to figure things out, knowing the history. Being a tourist in your own community. It's actually part of the original premise of this blog although I've definitely strayed from it in the years. I do try to make sure to post about things that we've gone and done from that perspective.

Writing stories. Also self-explanatory.