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Sugar and TV Update Week 4

2012-02-03T09:00:00.000-05:00

Apparently, I am not one to hold myself to long-term goals.

Which is odd, because once I start reading a lot of certain blogs or re-reading idealistic blog-posts, I get all excited again.

Perhaps I am a creature of moods.

So no, I am not living sugar-free, or TV-free, or even remotely close to those things.

But I am eating consistently well and only multi-tasking with the TV on. I am more aware of the sugar in foods around me and just as aware of what I get done when that shiny, magic box is on. So, I count those things as a win.

My First Giveaway!

2012-02-02T10:50:00.000-05:00

In honor of my new URL and increased site views (avery exciting thing for someone like me), I would like to host my first giveaway!

Now, I am going to cheat a little and offer the prize as your choice of an item from my Etsy store... but free is free, right?

Fun clips - For you or for gifts!

To enter, leave a comment answering the following question: What is the best advice you have ever received about being happy? Maybe it was from a mom, a friend, a coworker... regardless, I would love to spread the cheer around!

The drawing will closed Thursday, February 2nd at midnight, the winner will be announced Friday, February 3rd, and I'll stick it in the mail over the weekend!

**Congratulations to Kerry on winning! Email me at inquiries at lifecommaetc.com and we'll coordinate your Sky Bound Studios gift!**

New URL! Life [Comma] Etc Dot Com Is Here!

2012-02-01T15:10:00.000-05:00

In a flair of being more official, http://bennyandme.blogspot.com (named after my sweet bike that looks something like this) will now redirect to the more descriptive and awesome www.lifecommaetc.com. Exciting!

Please bear with me as I sort through a "final" reworking of the site. I am loving my new header, but I know it's a little fuzzy. With any luck I'll have it lovely and clear by the end of the weekend.

For something short & sweet to read, there's a great post today over on Kanelstrand about perfectionism... something to think about on this balmy Wednesday!

Also, I'd like to bake a cobbler. Immediately.

On Entertaining

2012-01-31T09:02:00.000-05:00

Something that happened almost overnight after being married was a sudden and uncontrollable desire to entertain our friends and family in our home.

My first rule of thumb is to be picky about the guest list.

Now, I totally get the excitement of college free-for-alls, when you don't know (and don't necessarily care) who is going to show up and the beer is on ice in the washing machine.

Heaven knows I've thrown a lot of those....

But lately I am a fan of the carefully pruned invite.

Not that some people aren't welcome, or that I avoid bringing some friends into my home, but that when you travel in such different circles as I travel, certain combinations of people make for more fun and less awkwardness!

I am blessed to have a few tried and true friends who can get along with anyone - they are always welcome and more often than not invited.

But picking and choosing is also a benefit to the guest -- who wants to go to the same 4-6 person shindig with the same people every few weekends? (On second thought, that doesn't sound so bad. But maybe you know what I mean?)

For this event, I invited an old work friend, a new work friend, and the maid of honor from my wedding, plus their married and unmarried spouses. Occupations and ages were all across the board, but the things that these people had in common was pure awesomeness.

It was a blast, and ran the gamut from Bananagrams to conversation to checking out an amazing burger joint into the wee hours of the night (aka 10pm for my old butt). I hope I don't flatter myself when I say a few more friendships were born that night... and isn't that the goal of a good party?

But enough about my social life -- how did I entertain?!

I started with a welcoming drink experience - plenty of glass and mugs and my favorite part.... a drink list!

A simple note added quite a flair of fanciness!

I have been experiencing a renaissance of tea drinking, so for the evening's entertainment I had Peppermint and Earl Grey teas, hot chocolate, coffee with homemade vanilla syrup (recipe with instructions here), spiced cider, Yeungling, and Land Shark.

As a teacher, I learned that a lot of people simply don't read signs. So
I placed the different options on the tops of the overturned glasses. Chic!

I made sure to have the glasses clean and placed prominently -- the first thing a guest sees after entering the kitchen/dining area.

Then, of course, my other favorite part - a creative way to display the rest of the drink options. Now, I wish I had caught a picture of the final version, in which I had put a serving of hot chocolate in adorable white ramikens. It had a small-town, personalized feel, and I included a few handmade decorations from my Etsy site.

We're a Keurig family - I highly recommend them!

The table setting was buffet-style, because I didn't anticipate making as much food as I did. I kept it natural and earthen, mainly because I don't own anything that can't be described that way.

Please note the still-alive baby jade.

Fresh flowers, some fruit in a glass, and a glass bell for the scones. Everything on this table was free or deeply discounted, which is a song we can all sing to, right?

The caption could easily have read "Delicious,"
"Delicious," and "Delicious."

And bam - more personalization. I can't emphasize how awesome it was to have these small touches. It was fun, took five minutes, and made everyone chuckle at how silly I am.

Trader Joe's mini tacos were a huge hit - I went through two boxes unexpectedly. I also whipped together plain yogurt with taco seasonings as a seasoned sour cream. Then gluten-free chai scones with a homemade vanilla-cinnamon syrup, and finally a fruit cobbler that I seriously pulled out of my "hat". I found a simpler cobbler bread online to bake up (this one, actually, and it's great!), and covered it in a mixture of frozen raspberries, strawberries, lemon curd, and sugar. It was unbelievable (served with whipped cream).

The two most accurate descriptors? Epic and lovely!

Homemade Vanilla Syrup

2012-01-30T12:43:00.000-05:00

Okay, take out your home-grown vanilla and start
shredding it! Haha, just kidding. This recipe is for N00bs.

It sounds so much more time-tasking than it is!

First, let me say I have put this recipe together based on a number of google searches and personal trial (and error, man were there errors). So always check your work with the glory of the world wide web.

That said, here is my recipe for homemade vanilla syrup - perfect in coffee and tea or on scones or... you know what, how about you make it and let me know what you put it on, because it's delicious! (I'll include my favorite tea recipe after this).

Step One: Gather Yo'Shiz

I usually make this recipe with 2C sugar, 2C water, and 1/2 TSP Vanilla and it yeilds about one and a half cups of syrup. Since I am only prepping a little bit for our guests tomorrow, I cut this recipe in half (1C, 1C, and 1/4 TSP, respectively).

Whatever vanilla and whatever sugar you want --
No matter what you use, it's gonna be delicious.

Dump it all (or delicately place it one step at a time) into a nice pot. Then take stylish photos like so:

I used tap water, organic cane sugar, and Madagascar Bourbon Pure Vanilla from Williams-Sonoma. Nothing about this needs to be fancy (unless, of course, you have wedding registry cards to Williams-Sonoma, in which case I heartily recommend this vanilla!).

Warning: Vanilla smells good. SO good. So, perhaps like the first time you smelled it you might want to taste it straight or put more than the recommended 1/4 or 1/2 TSP (yes... TEAspoon!).

I would recommend against this! Why? Because that's what I did the first time around and it comes out tasting kind of like raisins. Now, if you love raisins and you want your coffee, tea, and cream soda to taste like them... well, that's fine. But if not, hold your horses on the Nil-Nil.

Step Two: Put it in the Fi-Yah

I start it on medium or high heat. Your goal is to hit a nice boil and make it look something like this:

Make sure you give it a good whisk every few minutes to lift the solid sugar off the bottom and make sure everything melts evenly.

Step Three: Simmer dahn nah.

After a few minutes but before a roiling boil, you'll start seeing super-tiny bubbles like this that are empowering and adorable. It's a good thing and it looks a little something like this:

I SAY SIMMAH DAHN NAH

Step Four: Let it Foam

The secret to the goopy-syrupy goodness is waiting for this thick, "foamy" boil. I've found if you let it stay here for a minute or so the syrup gets super thick and delicious. Anything sooner and you'll basically have a water-type consistency. Which isn't all bad, I'm just sayin'. You'll look like a pro if you let it foam.

Once you get a nice, strong foam going, you'll want to let it stay on the fi-yah for another few minutes ask the water cooks out. As you can see from the photos here, the liquid in there is getting all kind of goopy. Perfect!

Baby boil....

Mommy boil..

Daddy boil!

Get pumped! A lot of science is going on and all the water molecules are dissolving into your face, leaving behind modified sugar molecules that are all stuck together.

Translation: Science is Delicious.

Note: the longer you "let it foam," the thicker your syrup will be. If you foam for about a minute and take it off, you'll have Torani-like syrup. If you leave it for five to six minutes, you'll have molasses.

Step Five: Rest and Feast
I like to let it cool in the pan so that you don't break any glass you store it in -- for added irony, I keep mine in an old Torani Vanilla Syrup bottle.

Irony on the grand scale!

Some sources disagree about whether or not it needs to be refrigerated, but I say why risk it? Mine chills out (pardon the pun) in the fridge, ready for my morning (and afternoon... and evening) coffee.

Possible Modifications:
Maybe I'm just greedy, but the minute I started making this syrup "the right way," I started thinking about other flavors. What would a peppermint one taste like? Or... oh my gosh, butterscotch!

The short story is that I have no clue how to do that. So, get researching! Or, I'll update this later with how I figured it out...

Recipe: Say-Say's Earl Grey Latte
My favorite new drink is so simple, so rich, and so easy!

Warm yourself up some milk (preferably organic whole milk) and throw in a tablespoon of this here syrup.

When it gets hot (or warm, if you're a sissy), throw in one or two Earl Grey tea bags. Any tea will do, but I've found the bergamot in Earl Grey makes this drink unbelievable instead of "just okay".

Drink it up!

Pursuing your dreams by putting them on hold.

2012-01-30T09:32:00.000-05:00

This house-hold has a lot on its mind: we are presently considering a life-altering change in regards to our place of living! Here's a short rundown of our situation – perhaps you can help?

I prefer UHAUL.

JHubbs is an amazing high school teacher with three years of experience. He is interested in getting out there and trying his hand in the corporate world as a trainer or curriculum developer.

I taught high school for three years before jumping ship as a Technical Editor, Technical Writer, and now a Content Specialist for websites. I am very happy with what I do, but I commute 140 miles per day, round trip, three days per week.

We are interested in moving to a city that a) has a vibrant music scene so that JHubbs can continue to pursue his dreams, and b) is a heck of a lot sunnier and warmer year-round than Virginia.

At first the logical move is Austin, Texas. I have visited and I loved it, it is warm (ok, HOT!) but it is not the wet-un-breathable heat of Florida, and it has a growing music scene with plenty of job opportunities.

While a huge move across country for us, there are a lot of moving parts to this discussion that are in Texas’s favor. For one, the timing is right. We are newly married and do not have children. We are not yet thirty, so life is still not exactly settled down, but we’re old enough to move where we will be comfortable and not be scared of the unknown.

On the other hand, JHubbs is about to try to establish himself in a new career that may or may not be his calling, and if we move out of state, I will also be looking for a job. So that is two people looking for new jobs within a few weeks of each other – not the best bet!

Awful purty, isn't it?

Taking these factors into consideration, we have decided to mitigate the risk and stress by pursuing a job for JHubbs closer to my job, thus eliminating my commute and going to a single-car family (a dream in and of itself) and giving JHubbs a chance to try a new career without having the fate of our entire survival reliant on his attractive and muscular shoulders.

So, let the hunt begin! So far so good ;-).

Have you made a cross-country move or searched for a job outside of the state you’re in and you got it? All tips and anecdotal evidence would be much appreciated!

How & Why I shop at Trader Joes and Whole Foods

2012-01-27T09:00:00.000-05:00

It’s no secret that you can eat cheaply – and not just cheaply, but healthily – and not spend a lot of money. And that’s why people (especially old people) raise their eyebrows and start judging me when I say that my family gets groceries from premium whole food and organic food movement establishments like Trader Joes and Whole Foods.

For the record, buying local is better. Find a farmer’s market or a food co-op and support them. But being new to the area (and possibly a little lazy), I like these stores just fine. Here are a few reasons why.

This little baby is worth every salty penny.

It’s not actually that much more expensive.
If you wanted to drop $2,000 per month at a Whole Foods or Trader Joes, I would have no trouble doing it. But for our average grocery shopping trip, JHubbs and I have learned to spend a little under $100 per week on food. This accounts for seven days of three meals per day plus snacks and desserts. This accounts for our personal eating desires (he hates nuts, I like chocolate) and our availability to cook (breakfast on the go, lunch prepared, and dinner cooked each night).

We also entertain for guests and/or just make pizza a few nights in a row if we’re feeling it. We could certainly spend less (a lot less), and I have no doubt that our eating and spending habits will change when we expand our family and find other uses for those funds, but right now a little under or over $400 per month makes us both feel good about the food we eat and the industries we support.

Money reflects values.

About those industries we support. I am sure that Whole Foods overcharges for garlic-glazed free-range Ethiopian green beans, or whatever it is that is in the exotic foods aisle. They do this because they are a business that is trying to make money. But when I walk in the door and prefer their no-oil, no-salt popcorn for $2.99 over other-generic-grocer’s $1.79 butter-flavored corn-product, I am essentially voting against poor food practices. Whole Foods (and Trader Joes) are companies that are at least trying to offer local, healthier food on a national scale. And I bet that’s a hard thing to do. So if it means being overcharged by $.23 when I buy popcorn once a month, I consider it a donation to a greater cause.

This goes even further than food -- it's the death of local businesses that can't drop another dollar or ten dollars on the products they get in, while the superstore across the street can and will. It's the etsy shops and the zazzles out there that are trying to produce products made with love, not haste. No, I don't think Whole Foods loves me and buys its products as a result of that love, but they do certainly care less about moving product and more about my dissatisfaction with a head of lettuce than any other grocery store I have ever been to.

We eat less because we eat better.

I don’t need a really 3lb bulk tin of cheese-product (or even actual cheese from malnourished and misshapen cows) for $2.50 this week. I need a $5.00 1lb block of whole-milk grass-fed mozzarella that JHubbs and I both will enjoy a single serving of each day. I also don’t need a 3lb mega-patty of gross ground beef from a goat. You get the idea (and hopefully you also get that I am hyperbolizing). The trend is this: I would rather get a box of delicious and ethically-produced crackers for an extra buck than a few boxes of cheap crackers that make us feel sad and gross when we eat them. It’s a win-win situation: we don’t feel sad and gross for stuffing our faces with cheap but abundant crackers and we only ate what our bodies wanted to eat from said box.

Food used to cost this much. Since the 1960s, the average family food budget has dropped from 20% in 1960 to 10% in 2011. Now, I'm sure there are a lot of factors such as how much people used cash for food in 1801 verses 2001, but other than that, either a) we’re producing it for cheaper which means we are mistreating our farmers, or b) the worth of the food we are eating has significantly declined and we are mistreating ourselves. You can pick one.

Food has changed. Now, I am not about to re-create the countless other sources who report this fact, but the fact is that the egg my mom ate in 1970 is simply not the same egg I am eating or that my child will eat. Nowadays, the average chicken breast has less protein and the average steak has more fat (please see chart below for vegetable information that makes my generalization about chicken and beef more palatable). While it may seem silly to pay $4.79 a pound at Whole Foods instead of the $2.99 Chicken-Booby bin at Walmart, I don’t feel silly at all and it's our $1.80, anyhow. Did I mention the taste difference is noticeable? (Creepy).

Scary chart found on page five of this study.

I wish I could fact-check and provide a detailed thesis paper on all sources ever compiled, but I just included a few studies that backed me up to give you the general idea that I am not full of crap. I just like food!

In the continued vein of "liking food," here is a list of my favorite golden nuggets of deliciousness form Trader Joe's:

Mini Chicken (or Beef) Tacos - It's like tiny little Mexican restaurants of deliciousness put all of their heart and soul into a baby tortilla. That tortilla grew up and multiplied, and when I have guests over, boxes of these are gone within the hour.

The aforementioned Dark Chocolate Whole Hazelnut chocolate bar. This is one actually overpriced item. This is also worth it.

Chocolate-covered Potato Chips - Don't judge, just try.

As for Whole Foods, our tendency is to get dry, box, canned, and frozen goods from Trader Joe's (admittedly cheaper because they have an organic in-house brand) and fresh food from Whole Foods - so just try their boneless chicken breasts, produce, and cheese, and then try to go back to the crap they sell at traditional stores. I dare you.

So, in essence, try to control your rage for people who shop at "upscale" grocery stores. Try the stores (or not) for yourself, then remember that most people aren't trying to insult you with their food choices. They're just choosing them.

**Please note, this is not a sponsored post, though I would gladly accept some monetary reimbursement. I just wanted to put my grocery philosophy into words!

Sugar Update Week 3

2012-01-27T08:16:00.000-05:00

This is getting depressing. I still eat sugar and watch TV. Though I am proud that I have been monitoring daily desserts.

But not eliminating them...

This is likely enough fodder to go off on a good old fashioned rant, but I will keep it short.

If I, an educated, 27 yr old, modern woman, is having this much trouble cutting off TV (or computers, or Facebook during downtime, for that matter), what chance to 12- and 14-year olds have against this automatron?

Especially when that TV is filled with messages that are eating us from the inside.

This just about sums it up (sorry for the gratitous imagery... but it's nothing our children today aren't seeing at school, on TV, and in magazines!):

Take it Slow, Calm it Down

2012-01-26T09:39:00.002-05:00

In budgeting, grocery shopping, and in life, at a point you just need to take it slow and calm it down.
I am a product of a productive home. Last week, I got home late, but no matter. It was tax day. I was excited. I was thrilled to get it all printed, penciled, and counted. Picking up the living room makes me feel good. Hearing JHubbs run the vacuum upstairs is almost as good as hearing him sing his music.

So you can imagine how all of that can stack up against you when it comes time to “take it slow and calm it down” when your stress level gets dangerously high. If my idea of relaxation is getting the dishes through the wash and put away, what do I really do for me in a given day? Nothing.

So instead of picking up random papers and organizing the mail, I stop and think about what I should be doing. Not what I want to do (clean something) but what I need to do for myself – relax. Read Bossypants by Tina Fey. Watch Lost with JHubbs. Play with the cat.

Cats don't need to be told to relax.

I am here to reassure you that it is possible and it feels great -- even if it feels wrong at first!

Sugar Update - Week 2

2012-01-20T18:12:00.001-05:00

If you are easily disappointed.... you might want to check out another website today. Might I recommend www.theoatmeal.com or www.xkcd.com? Both have extremely stimulating web comics and images, though some might not be work- or family-safe.

But as for those curious about my sugar and TV intake... well, there was unplanned travel for work this week, so there was also unplanned TV (Hello, NCIS marathon!) and unplanned chocolate (Yes, that Nutella was an investment in my future).

But the upside to all this is that I am doing very well at work and my relationship with my husband is great! Two excellent achievements for someone at such an age as mine.

I also did not indulge in too much coffee (AKA Sweet Sugary Nectar of Morning), or too many desserts. Desserts are expensive.

The weekend does not look too threatening, despite the fact that I am still watching Bones.

To my sponsors (of which there are none yet), I apologize.

This is me, apologetic.

To make this worth your while, here are a few exemplary links and articles that made me think at some point over the last few days or weeks:

"6 Horrible Aftermaths" on Cracked.com
"This Is Generation Flux" on FastCompany.com
"Negotiating a Raise" on GetRichSlowly.com

Learn it!

Sugar Update - Week 1

2012-01-13T10:10:00.000-05:00

Even this picture is almost too much for me. Sweet,
delicious chunks of love and happiness...

Sugar Update
Not much to update, folks, and I apologize. A lot of excuses came up, such as "It's 6pm and I still have a drive ahead of me, so I totally deserve ice cream," and "ARGH SUGAR MONSTER WANT JELLY BEAN." Still, I think my mentality was improved and I was very conscious of when I ate a good thing (beans) and when I ate an indulgence (jelly beans), which has not always been the case.

Today, I finally began some restrictions. I very carefully measured 1TBSP of syrup for my coffee. I proudly waddled over to my work station and typed away. I woke up several times with the food cabinet open, looking for something sweet, without having knowingly gotten up and without being hungry. It's scary that my body already knows what's going on! (So far, so good, the Sugar Monster didn't get me).

TV Update
Success! I have some on in the background because I work from home and it gets lonely, but so far I did not watch TV after my commute! It felt great and I got a few things done that I wanted to, instead of accumulating more useless TV knowledge. This weekend is full of social outings, so I don't expect to be indulging in any TV unless it's a movie with a big group (which doesn't count, right?).

Happy weekend!

It's a Pie Chart Party!

2012-01-13T10:05:00.000-05:00

I came across a handful of people sharing pretty, organized budgets. So it’s my turn! This comes at a great time, as JHubbs and I are newly committed to paying down debt and keeping our money responsibly.

Our family is a minestrone soup of complementary skills. I am awesome with numbers and excel spread sheets – in fact, if I don’t have all the bills and expenses typed into my Google doc, I have stress dreams about surprise bills. JHubbs, on the other hand, loses papers and important mail as if he were training for it for the Olympics. On the other hand, my spending habits are like a strainer – if I find a way, it will be spent, and who knows on what. Chik fil a, Starbucks, a new book, it just seems to happen as if I walk around in a haze all day. JHubbs on the other hand, has rigid, unthinking loyalty to the budget and to not spending.

I thought this meant he should take over the budget, but I was wrong (for reasons I will not share to protect the innocent, haha). What it actually meant is that I need his help in learning to not spend OUR money. And he needs my help in attending weekly “budget” meetings!

So, here’s the breakdown. The budget itself usually looks something like the following. I left in what our usual budget amounts and payment amounts are, but I left out our after tax income just to keep things a little mysterious.

Google Docs Spreadsheet... How I Love Ye

Title

We had separate budgets before, but this is the one we have together. We chose to stick with a “common pot” financial strategy because it goes along with the theme of our marriage – we have common goals, common needs, and we are both here to meet the needs of our spouse. Not to pass judgement on other families who do things differently! It just works better with our philosophies and goals for the future – thinking long term, if some day I am at home with tiny, tiny babies, I don’t want to go into it with the sense that the money coming in is “his”! We work for each other, not for companies.

Columns

There are four sets of two columns. These represent our incoming paychecks (that number is tallied at the bottom to keep track of our math). On the first and fifteenth, we’re paid in one bank account, and on the seventh and twenty-second, we’re paid in another. This works out GREAT to have income each week. Obviously we want to get to the point where we wouldn’t need it, but during this baby phase, when things still “pop up” it’s a huge comfort to know nothing will be “too bad” for too long.

Colors

Yes, even the colors mean something! The expenses in purple are weekly and constant expenses that only change if there are personal factors involved (I’ll discuss how we got those numbers later!). The expenses in blue are utilities and bills that we don’t see going anywhere for a long time – water, internet, etc. The random black one is just where I tally up all those bills so there’s one clear number to keep track of (sorry to be confusing!). Red numbers are debt! They are bright red and bolded so that every time we look at this sheet we can clearly see how enslaved we are – and how free we’ll be when we finally pay it off. These numbers change according to which snowball we are working on, but in general this is about what it looks like. The green numbers represent things that “come up” or things that are perhaps not common expenses (co-pays pop up, prescriptions, gifts to friends, and final debt payments).

Things We’ve Tried.

It may seem odd that we pay a certain amount towards our rent each week, but this is just one of a number of phases we have tried out. About two months ago, we were on a “one-paycheck” system in which we paid all bills except rent with one check and left the other in savings. It didn’t work for us, to say the least. So now we’re back to working with a full paycheck each week. Let’s hope it goes well!

I could be more proud of this....

Ugh. Jeez. Ouch. OH MY GOSH. I think this is pretty self-explanatory. We need to buckle down and turn that debt in to savings. We need to move. We need to review our water, electricity, and insurance usage. Any other insights?

I hope this is at least interesting, if not helpful. It really helps to look at something this disgusting to get me motivated to stop indulging* and start digging out of this hole**.

Editor’s note!

* The Pop-Up category this month includes a $350 debt payoff…. So I think we should get at least a little credit for that, haha. Pop-Ups are usually less that $200 total (And they’ve been coming down for a while! Hooray, habit building!)
**The debt category includes two cars and two intense student loans. This is not good credit and we are not proud of this, but perhaps that makes it a tiny, slightly, itty-bitty more understandable and less embarrassing? Maybe not. But… for what it’s worth…

Goals for the Future
I think it’s pretty obvious that we want to get out of debt. Over 30% of our income going to other people? Not cool. We also want to get to a point where I can stay at home and invest in my freelancing and home-making skills, and go down to a single-car family (think of all the stress and payments being gone!). For some reason, home-owning has never been the biggest priority for JHubbs and I, so we aren’t looking to invest in that any time soon.

Budget-wise, I don’t see us getting into any nitty-gritty long-term categories like “clothes” and “home improvements”. It makes more sense to us to have a larger “spending” budget that incorporates these things (plus gifts, make-up, home care items, etc) rather than a long list of things to keep track of on Excel.
So, that’s all! I hope you enjoyed a sneak peak into our home… and let me know if you have your pie chart somewhere out on the interwebs!

Time for a Little Self-Improvement

2012-01-11T15:36:00.001-05:00

Since the title of this blog purports to have some self-improving going on, I figure it’s time to do it. I, SJM, hereby initiate a slow turning over of a TV and sugar-free lifestyle.

Now for the background info.

Sugar? Why sugar?

It’s pretty clear that sugar is just a tasty form of poison. Don’t try to deny it. Quoting these resources, sugar is a known culprit for causing increased weight, anxiety, moodiness, etc. I just don’t think we were meant to eat this much of it. And by “this much of it,” I mean “check your labels.” No really. Whatever you ate today, go check it. Because chances are unless you were being OCD-careful, you ate a heck of a lot of sugar you didn’t mean to, and I don’t mean the accidental ice cream or mini candy bar. Check your ketchup. Your bread. Your toothpaste, for goodness sakes!

Regardless of how much this may or may not upset you, the simple fact is that I would like to try my hand at not eating it. I’ve heard tales of clear skin, consistent moods, lifted veils of mental fog, increased energy….AKA everything I want and don’t have right now (well to be honest, my skin is great, but I want those other things!).

BRB - Deliciousville.

The truest clincher in defense of a sugar-cleanse is the fact that it is so damn hard. I have tried before. I don’t like the idea that I physically cannot stop ingesting something (you know, besides food or water). The idea that I am hooked on something so deeply that I become an irrational, angry, exhausted, and downright terrifying human being is unsettling to me. It’s one thing to enjoy a sweet treat. It’s another to be physically incapable of not eating that sweet treat. That sweet treat that is poisoning your body.

Where will this end? I don’t know. I’d like to get to the point where I choose when I want to have sugar instead of it being a habit to dump it in my drink, my cooking, etc. A life without a pat of crème brulee or a vanilla tea latte is not something that is in my future. But perhaps a Spring without them…

I plan to go slow. So right now I’ll keep an eye on the labels and kind of “avoid” things, but at least for the next two weeks the biggest thrust will be getting rid of my AM homemade vanilla syrup habit (think coffee, tea) and flat-out obvious problems like cookies. I’ll update each Friday as to how I did during the week. Anyone want in?

But of course, this is just one part of what my body injests. What are my eyes doing? Read on.

TV? But it’s so good!

Yes, TV is awesome. Especially when you have a huge one that is hooked up to an unlimited supply of Netflix. And then when you spend time at home working or cleaning or doing whatever and that TV is just begging to be on, so you turn it on. Then you look up and it’s bedtime and you haven’t read, cleaned, talked, played, or done anything that you really “value”. All for an episode of Bones!

It’s a simple matter of time. There are 24 hours in a day. I try to spend 8 of them sleeping and 8 of them working, which leaves 8 for the rest of the world. Most days, 2 or 3 are spent in the car, and 1 on finances and cleaning and household things, leaving a precious 4 hours left that is easily eaten up with other responsibilities.

Good? Yes. Better than happiness & accomplishment? No...

So how, according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, does the average American fit 2.7 more hours in the day for TV (the “leisure activity that occupies the most of our time”)? They don’t. They give up on reading, writing letters, and talking with their spouse over coffee. Three things I pretend to value more than Bones, but don’t give the time of day, so to speak!

So, once again, all in good time. I don’t pretend to be able to cut off TV – in a way it does provide some downtime and it can definitely be a bonding mechanism (AKA it’s not all bad). But I don’t have 1, 2, or 3 full hours to spend on it (sometimes every day!).

I want to slowly be free from TV. I want to honor my other hobbies as “relaxing” and “me-time” instead of “my shows”. My values so much more clearly align with reading, painting, and crafting. So I want to make time for those things. I also don’t want to be that person who brings up TV every few sentences…

Well, I like sugar and TV. What does this mean?

If you like sugar and TV and you eat sugar and watch TV – it means you are living your life according to your values! And that’s awesome! I, however, am not living according to my values, and that leads to long-term burnout, fatigue, and general I-don’t-feel-good paranoia.

Happy Weekend!

2012-01-06T20:44:00.000-05:00

JHubbs and I are starting the weekend right!

First, I made some impromptu Tom Kha Gai. I don't know how it happened - I started with some white fish, mushrooms, and green onions and before I knew it the second can of coconut milk was going in. It turned soupy, despite the added rice, but overall was pretty delicious!

Love her!

Then, we tried our hand at a few movies. We started with Last Night with Kiera Knightley. If you liked Closer, I'd give it a try. Otherwise, it definitely smelled of a stage script someone paid to put on the screen. The more I think about it, though, the more I liked it. It's a look at infidelity - emotional and physical - and while the physical left a lot to be desired (Eva Mendes, sorry) the development of emotional infidelity felt very genuine and just... languid to me (Lame word to use. But it's something about Kiera's eyes).

This is the first movie JHubbs and I have watched all the way through in a long time and it was charming to see how much the cheating spouses made him upset. He's a man who just can't understand the world the way it is and while that may be insanely frustrating sometimes, it's good to see him be a breath of fresh air in action.

Why, Seth, why? And shame on you, Macauley!

After Kiera's make-out fest, we tried to watch a movie we'd heard about on LoveLine: Seth Green and Macauley Culkin's Party Monster. Hopefully Adam and Dr. Drew still have not seen it because they would, in hindsight, regret having shaken hands with Seth Green. It was the worst kind of joke. Much like No Strings Attached, we fast forwarded through the entire movie just to catch the plot points. Both movies were horror stories in their own way. Avoid! Unless, of course, you want to see three metric tons of make-up spread across both their faces. And then subsequently smudged off on the other's....

Why did I always think the guy on
the cover was Matthew Perry?

We've sinced settled on Swingers, and we're sticking with it. Everything I see involving Las Vegas makes me angrier at The Hangover. So many other movies did it first and better! But so far we're pleased at the playful, relaxed tone of these three guys before the fame struck (Ron Livingston, Jon Favreau, and Vince Vaughn).

Another of my favorite things about the movie is that it's yet another one that pokes fun (or reveals clues) about the difference between LA and NY. The apartments, the weather, the tone, the people, the conversations.... having never lived in either of those places, I've been gathering clues.

Ok, end rant. What really matters is that you take time to de-stress, relax, and make chocolate Peanut Butter Puffs rice krispies with your man. Or woman. Or pet. And chase it down with the most delicious invention to date: tea made with milk instead of water. Where was I when that memo came down from the heavens?

A whole plate of these. Gone.

"Panasonic 50 inch" or "How I had a one-star day"

2012-01-04T15:33:00.000-05:00

You are looking at pure evil. Stephen King's worst nightmare.

You are looking at the culprit right here, folks. The # 1 reason to blame for my lackluster and depressing one-star day.

Right? Because TVs are totally acts of nature? And humans are helpless against them?

Ok, fine. I gave myself a one-star day. Despite all the dramatic and exciting plans that flitted through my caffeine-enhanced brain circuitry, the only thing I accomplished when I got home was to watch a movie with JHubbs. No chores, no cooking, no hobbies, no reading. I just plopped my tired caboose on the couch and ate whatever we could find.

I’ve had prouder moments.

And that’s the problem. This isn’t just one day of TV watching that allowed us to blow of steam, this is a habit in the process of forming. So how do I fight against it? What strategies will I break out to defeat the 50-inch monster bestowed on us for Christmas a week ago?

Will-power.

Good old-fashioned will-power.

Which will take place in the form of asking JHubbs to hide the remote before I get home…

There's a remote under there somewhere.

Weekly Money Update

2012-01-03T15:28:00.003-05:00

Check out My Pretty Penny's Weekly Money Update. Love it!

1. The most I’ve spent this last week was on gas. We drove to Gatlinburg, TN for time with the in-laws.
2. Today I am thankful for Spotify. It's like an all-you-can-eat buffet of memories & Ani DiFranco.
3. Money can’t buy happiness. One free thing I did last week that made me happy was play with the kitten. Spoon the kitten. Snuggle the kitten. Such a good investment!
4. I will consider this week a success if I successfully transfer our house finances to JHubbs. I'll have a post that explains this more, but I realized the problem with our budget just might be me! We'll be transferring control (and passwords, at least temporarily) to him to see how he does with Mint.com (as opposed to me with my spreadsheets).
5. On New Years Eve I smooched my husband, laughing hysterically, surrounded by thousands of screaming, drunk rednecks in Gatlinburg, TN, and walked back to my car to discover a dead battery. The year could not possibly have started off worse, but I am glad to be spending it with him.

A Five Star Family

2012-01-03T10:16:00.001-05:00

I have the added bonus of not only starting a new year with the rest of you, but officially starting a new life as a newlywed!

Who knew this is what your family reunion would look like from now on?

We have never before been so close or so free to truly be each others family. We have two paychecks to decide, together, what we want to do with it. Exciting!

We decided to keep it simple. Instead of a long list of things we want to do with different requirements and goals and restraints per item, it all comes down to one thing: the way we live our lives. There are different things we want to change and improve: our health, our finances, our passions. We want a clean house and to eat better. We want to make time for each other and live intentionally.

Count 'em.

And why don't those things we want so badly happen easily? The problem is that all of those things have to happen on a daily basis and so must be judged on a daily basis.

Introducing: Five Star Days!

Each day, JHubbs and I are responsible to ourselves for putting time into one of the five things we value: health, wealth, relaxation, passion, and family. We are then responsible to each other to enjoy the benefits of those days.

Dramatically delicious.

Health. We both have different goals. I need to lose, he needs to gain, and we both need to exercise for our mental and physical balance. This can include tracking your daily nutrition (our favorite is MyFitnessPal.com) or meeting an exercise goal (something more than stretching but doesn’t have to be an hour of strenuous activity). Or avoiding a certain downfall (wheat and sugar for me) or eating well the whole day (JHubbs has an (incredibly mysterious) knack for forgetting to pack and/or eat anything for long periods of time).

Wealth. In our personal life, I have a habit of being too active and involved in the finances and JHubbs not enough. So for this goal, my job is to not spend money on something I justify just because I know the numbers, while JHubbs is expected to sign into our accounts and be aware of what is going on.

Whatever relaxation looks like to you.

Relaxation. This category represents something I love about JHubbs and I – we are ying and yang in so many ways that it is reassuring to me that there is a reason we struggle with what we struggle with. He relaxes too much. In any given day, you can guarantee he will have a seat and play video games, read, play music, or do something truly for him simply because he could not live otherwise. He is simply incapable of sacrificing a whole day to a to-do list without some kind of reward on the horizon. I, on the other hand, have been known to go-go-go for days, weeks, or months on hand, until inevitably I drop like a fly with an injury or mental illness known as “oh-god-make-it-stop”. Maybe you see where I’m going with this. We need balance.

Passion. One thing I don’t understand about humans is how desperately we need outlets for feelings, stresses, and emotions, yet still our default is to watch TV or do the dishes or “accomplish” something for the next day. Me, at least. So despite JHubbs and my many talents (music, drawing, writing, etc) we rarely make time for these things on a consistent basis. To this end, Passion is an important category to me, in which we strive to do something (half an hour, an hour, whatever) towards any of our passions.

Hug the one you love.

Family. This isn’t what you think. While our extended family is important to us, we find that we need to make an effort to connect and acknowledge each other as partners in this stressful life. Especially on my end, it is so easy to forget that JHubbs is on my side and not recognize him for his patience and love in filling this role. So this category encompasses all those chores we do for the house and for each other (cooking, dishes, vacuuming) and – on the days we are feeling especially grateful – favors and treats for the other person. Hopefully when we’re old this will be a habit to appreciate your partner. But until then, that’s the fifth star!

Now, we haven’t really decided what to do with these stars just yet – I thought that we could have a mini-competition in which whoever had the most 5-star days that week would get to pick the weekend date or something, but perhaps a 5-star day is enough of a reward on its own. It cant be tied to money or to anything destructive of our stars (AKA the winner gets $50 spending money or gets to decide where to eat out to dinner). Any ideas?

more changes

2011-12-15T21:24:00.006-05:00

I took some time today to develop a new header for the page. I hope you love it as much as I do! Tomorrow J-Hubbs is playing a show at a venue that is really a step up for us. We're so excited, and if you're in crowd know we're happy to see you!

three posts to read today

2011-12-07T14:10:00.001-05:00

JD Roth is over there rocking out with an article about Behavioral Finances. It's the kind of thing you feel better after reading.

If you want some more reflection on why we do what we do and how to better satisfy yourself, Jess LC's post Have's, Do's and Be's gave me a lot to think about.

And finally, Ree Drummond's Why I Want to Be a Kitten Today just about sums everything up. And read on after that for the best collection of beagle pictures ever taken.

SJM

New Design

2011-12-06T18:53:00.000-05:00

I apologize for such frequent template changes, but I can almost assure you that this one (might) be here to stay. My hope is that this format is a little more refreshing and a little easier to read - A good place to start your day.

Weekly Money Update

2011-12-06T18:34:00.001-05:00

1. The most I’ve spent this last week was Thai food. As if Friday night wasn't enough, we went out again Saturday - to the same place - to order the same thing. Delish!

2. Today I am thankful for my health. Even though I don't have what I could, I am grateful that I have what I do!

3. Money can’t buy happiness. One free thing I did last week that made me happy was turn off the television and listen to classical music with J-Hubbs for a few hours. For the first time since wedding planning started, we actually talked! Like, recreationally!

4. I will consider this week a success if I can successfully swing my work schedule. I am driving up North for Wednesday through Friday night for a marathon of meetings, open houses, Christmas parties, and friend dinners. I'll miss the house, but it almost seems like an adventure! (J-Hubbs will join me up there for Friday night).

5. My favorite Christmas gift as a child was, let's be real, probably candy.

Weekly Update is a great idea from My Pretty Pennies - check it out!

a personal recommendation

2011-12-06T15:21:00.001-05:00

At the risk of being too self-serving, I've got to give props to one of my favorite artists - Joshua Wake - who has his first "real" gig coming up in two weeks in Richmond, VA at The National. If you're local, check it out!

www.reverbnation.com/joshuawake - especially "Packed," and "Another Day."

You won't regret it.

Be grateful today.

2011-12-05T15:22:00.001-05:00

Chances are you have one or more of the following things going on in your life. Don't let missing one on this list keep you from appreciating the things on it that you do have.

Employment
Ability to walk.
Ability to run.
One person you can talk to. (Call them).
A song you can listen to.
Someone coming home from work to you.
Someone to come home to from work.
A lack of addiction to a serious drug.
A place you can go to feel peaceful.

I may have left some things off the list. But you just need one to be grateful for today.

entk Dreams - The bad ones.

2011-11-02T14:06:00.002-04:00

Last night I had a stress dream about teaching. Not only was it an overflowing class of desks that kept moving, but teacher after parent after supervisor stopped by the room, shook their head at me, and walked away. While they judged, I was losing teeth out of my mouth and searching for the right book from which to read the story that was to be the day's assignment-- all the while trying to smile at them and everyone and keep from expressing any human emotions.

Quite a doozy if you ask me, considering I've been out of the business for almost twelve months. In fact, I'll be getting married on the one-year anniversary of my career-defining (read: career-ending) melt down.

While it would be easy to blame the muscle relaxers, it's more accurate to just let it be representative of how things are going for me right now.

If you are one to let your mind drift over the details, perhaps you've realized we are living in an age of stress. Our minds, our bodies, our quality of life. It is terrifying how tenacious it all is when you sit and stare at it out of context. Especially for us be-creative-for-our-paycheck types, susceptible to that fear that our job is superfluous and every paycheck is someone's accounting mistake. I, personally, also live in fear that a poorly written email might turn into the last thing sent from my employer's email account. That being ten minutes late to a conference call means I am no longer useful or wanted. And what would Ido then, if that happened -- write some more?

And yet there are people out. Writing things. Drawing things (Singing things). Being creative. And making money.

Hard work is always a part of the picture. And so is blind luck, risk, and a low cost of living. But there are people out there making their own rules and making it. Who made a decision about their adult life and followed it through. Who have no regrets. And I have to imagine they don't waste their subconscious thoughts on an old job.

So, let's build an empire. Or, as that empire is already built and being built by others, let me join the empire. That's what I'll dream about from here on out.

entk Keeping College Friends

2011-09-25T10:00:00.000-04:00

This is something I don't know everything about.

Like goldfish growing to the size of their bowl, people grow and mature according to the post-graduation environment. How can some people who stay in their college town gracefully mature into tailgating alumni, while others fall to the siren call of keggers and freshman parties?

And what if you have moved on entirely?

Do you have friends from college? How long has it been? Do you keep in touch with the partiers?