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Review - Jail: you sense the claustrophobia

meetu — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 18:54:35 +0530

Hindi Movies, Social, Crime, Drama | 3 comments
Running time: 135 minutes

Quick Review

Rating: Watch for sure, preferably in theatre

The word spells gloom, the vision it creates makes a shiver run down the spine. The things you've read about this thing called prison invoke the worst of your imagination. The Neil-Madhur combination brings this harshness to life.

Rating: Watch for sure, preferably in theatre

A Jail - the subject matter is so grim that the treatment can only be depressing. You see a few characters but it’s the jail that adds, deletes and depletes what had defined them thus far. Parag (Niel Nitin Mukesh) is the one you care for, you want him to get out of this jail. And while doing that, you are sucked in; in to the atmosphere, living one day at a time - sometimes hopeful, some days aimless. And you want to avoid acknowledging that creepy feeling - real life prisons must only be worse. And this is because Parag turns narrator and you see this essay through his eyes. The plot moves on only because life does.

What is shown is mostly what we know already. And yet we must have seen only a small percentage of what really goes on in those barracks. We don't see the boredom a prisoner must have gone through. Why should we care? They are the ones who have defecated society. We have to live in their fear. They might as well rot here to the fullest before they are sent to hell. But then, there are also the ones who repent, the one-time offenders, and … the innocent - yet to be put on trial or worse - proven guilty.

You also are introduced to the other inmates of these jails - the policemen in-charge. What a thankless job that is!? What crime did they commit to be forced to spend their days and nights with the worst that humanity offers? Let alone the day-to-day problems they face from the higher ups, the judicial system, the politicians and their own family.

Yes, Madhur Bhandarkar has taken upon himself to sensitize his audience to the plight of the people who live in a world we know exists and choose to ignore. He does so in a matter-of-fact tone. He doesn't sermonize, he doesn't glamorize. He just opens the door and ironically lets it be so.

Writer Madhur, has chosen one representative for each set of people that constitute an Indian jail. He doesn't necessarily fill in the flesh in detail, but there's enough for us to make a fair judgment about the characters. Parag doesn't say much. But even if you don’t take into account the acting skills used, there's a lot in the writing that tells you about him. There are other characters narrating similar feelings and you know what he's thinking. It is extremely well-woven into the narrative.

There is actually only one main character in the film. And it's risky - banking on just one actor, not even a lady lead to stride alongside. The bet worked. You don't miss more detailed characters. His misery, his hope are enough to agonize you through the 2 hours. Manoj Bajpai is only a bonus. The two show what silence can convey.

The plot cannot be broken down into an introduction, a conflict, and a climax. The first and last parts are way too short. In fact the climax seems too simple and quick. The pace suddenly changes and it ends almost abruptly. But, even so, there's no preaching, there's no epilogue. And that must have been a difficult-to-resist temptation.

This is an autobiography of a prison. Not one prisoner or two. But it’s a peek into a few years of a jail's life. Inmates come and inmates go. You see it, you smell it, you sense it. Parag's misfortune - of being at the wrong place, at the wrong time, with the wrong person - is only incidental. But you will be thinking constantly of the people he represents - the innocent.

- meetu, a part of the audience

Parental Guidance:

Violence: In general, the environment of the jail is pretty violent even if there is not violence shown. In addition, this has some gun fights and beating up, torture scenes.
Language: More or less clean, though murder and killing is indicated through language used.
Nudity & Sexual content: A bar song, indication of masturbation and oral sex.
Concept: Life in a prison. W character who's a bar dancer by profession, extra-marital affair,
General Look and Feel: Its dark and grim. I'd keep the kids away for this reason and lots more.

Detailed Ratings:

Direction: 4
Story: 4.5
Lead Actors: 4.5
Character Artists: 3.5

Dialogues: 4
Screenplay: 4
Music Director: 2
Lyrics: 2

Review - Ajab Prem Ki Ghazab Kahani: : Not unusual or amazing, just a few sparks

meetu — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 03:15:41 +0530

Hindi Movies, Comedy, Romance | 5 comments
Running time: 150 minutes

Quick Review

Rating: Movie buffs - rent a DVD

A rom-com that is half-baked comedy and a quarter-baked romance. Does that make it a well-baked film? Unfortunately that's not how the math works. It stays an under-cooked pot that makes you laugh here and there and doesn't get you engaged in its emotion

Rating: Movie buffs - rent a DVD

The on-screen activity had the entire theater in splits! People around me couldn't stop laughing their guts out. So funny did they find the jokes and situations that the gags kept them happy through the unnecessary emotional scenes too. No-no, the audience was chuckling with the characters, not at them. I - well I didn't see the humor through most of the film. Somehow - hit-the-crotch, eunuchs-exist-that's-so-funny, Draupadi-like-undrape-Sari, people-falling-off-stairs, slapping-each-other, modified-cake-fights - don't even make me smile, smirk maybe, but nowhere near the grin-region. However, when I laughed at the other jokes, I laughed real hard.

I don't understand what's so weird or whacky about Prem (Ranbir Kapoor) or about his style of love. Nor do I understand what's so unusual about his story. Not a crime so far, even if you claim those things in the title. The onus of originality is not on you when the entire industry is "referencing." But get there in a way that is wholesome and entertaining.

The sure way of doing that is with some howlarious dialogue, especially when you don't have much in terms of character arcs or story development going on. That they manage in fits and spurts. There is another way to enjoy the do, just pre-decide, you are going to enjoy, and you might too.

The lead pair is another thing that might keep you going. Ranbir Kapoor plays the perfect Prem (Barjatya reference for the uninitiated). Charming and saccharine sweet. He has shades of Sunil, who tries to evoke Prem's darker side. Yes, he's aaawww-cho-chwweet. Diabetics might want to stay away. There's this one sequence in which he does a Jim Cary a lá The Mask and is pretty hilarious too. Now, why he's doing that, don’t ask! And oh yeah, remember slapstick? Yes, Ranbir is loud in this one!

Boys, Katrina Kaif is as lovely, to look at, as ever - even though she's in Sunday-Morning-Mass dresses through the film. Meaning - not much in terms of sensuous skin-show. She doesn't let that affect her performance though. Same ol' accent, same straight face, a similar ol' attempt at shedding glycerin tears.

On the brighter side, there's no first half-second half syndrome here. It is in one continuum - few emotional scenes, a few good laughs, loads of slapstick, and mucho silliness. Oh yeah… and 2-3 songs. The problem is in each of these, you find Santoshi trying to imitate some movie or director. And why not, right? Especially when you can pay tribute to Cinema Paradiso and Maine Pyaar Kiya all in one go! And if not anyone else, there's always an annoying self-reference to bank on. Reminding us of what could have been.

It's Tom and Jerry style humor, alright. But, it doesn't have a quarter of the recall value. And the saddest part is that it's a desperate effort for a repeat performance by Rajkumar Santoshi. And that part is pretty obvious. If only being yourself wasn't that difficult. A wannabe Andaz Apna Apna. And not very successful at that.

- meetu, a part of the audience

Parental Guidance:

Violence: A comic fight at the end.
Language: Clean
Nudity & Sexual content: One song with a little bit of a skin show.
Concept: Undying, selfless love.
General Look and Feel: Happy, peppy, and all things nice.

Detailed Ratings:

Direction: 2
Story: 1
Lead Actors: 2
Character Artists: 2

Dialogues: 2.5
Screenplay: 1.5
Music Director: 3
Lyrics: 3

Main Aur Mrs Khanna - 1 yays, 31 nays, 4 okays

Akashi Kaul — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 18:47:01 +0530

Hindi Movies, Relationships, Comedy | 0 comments
Running time: 130 minutes

Quick Review

Rating: Movie buffs - rent a DVD

The promos of Main aur Mrs. Khanna are quite misleading as they would have you believe that this movie is a Salman Khan movie. For all the Salman Khan fans out there, THIS IS NOT A SALMAN KHAN MOVIE. But if you want to see him anyway, go right ahead and watch it. Watch out for Bappi Lahiri.

36 reviewers have given Main Aur Mrs Khanna an average rating of 0.4/5.0 - 1 thumbs up, 31 thumbs down, and 4 so-so.

Warning: clicking on "full review" will take you to an external website that could contain spoilers.

Thumbs down by Rajeev Masand, IBN Live ...There are dumb scripts and dumber scripts, but Main Aurr Mrs Khanna has got to be the dumbest.... full review

Thumbs down by Taran Adarsh, Bollywood Hungama ...could've been an interesting story had the drama quotient been a bit stronger... full review

Thumbs down by Anupama Chopra, NDTV ...There is no real conflict between the Khannas and the one the director creates is so lame that you are not the least bit concerned or engaged by it. ... full review

Thumbs down by Sonia Chopra, Sify Movies ...A dialogue in the film refers to Raina as a bharatiya nari, which is highly offensive. Lacking a smidgen of self-worth or ambition, Raina is the kind of hyper-dependant, clingy characters that films love to pass off as an ideal wife. ... full review

Thumbs down by Ashok Nayak, Now Running.com ...The screenplay seems disjointed and many questions are left unanswered... full review

Thumbs down by Patcy N, Rediff ...Sounds promising, doesn't it? But let me tell you, Main Aurr Mrs Khanna is anything but.... full review

Thumbs down by Hanumant Bhansali, Radio Sargam ...Salman Khan and Kareena’s acting is mind blowing and carry their part well. ... full review

Thumbs down by Amrita, Indiequill ...Aakash is possibly the most uninteresting lover ever seen on film. And I’ve seen Bharat Bhushan at work. ... full review

Thumbs down by Tushar Joshi, MiD DAY ...In the effort to keep the film light and the tempo steady, Prem Soni has ended up cooking a half-baked dish. ... full review

Thumbs down by Deepa Garimella, fullhyd.com ...The main twist in the film revolves around an issue that is, in the first place, an avoidable one. Secondly, it could have been painlessly solved by some elementary across-the-table talk, and it seems contrived to build an entire plot section around it.... full review

Thumbs down Movie Talkies ...it is a confused offering... full review

Thumbs down by N K Deoshi, Apun Ka Choice ...‘Main Aur Mrs Khanna’ is so very behind its times that it appears that writer-director Prem Soni gleaned most of the scenes from the scrapped scripts of the unmade movies from the previous decade.... full review

Thumbs up by Suranjana Nandi, Buzz18 ...despite all that, the film is good... full review

Thumbs down by Lidia Ostepeev, Planet Bollywood ...This film appears to have suffered set-backs in its infancy - a change of female lead from Lara Dutta to Kareena Kapoor and reduction in the impact of its item number from the originally desired inclusion of Shah Rukh Khan to the reality of featuring Pretty Zinta.... full review

Thumbs down by Roshni Mulchandani, Bolly Spice ...The script has massive loopholes, which create nothing but chaos in the film.... full review

Thumbs down by Martin D'Souza, Glamsham.com ... When there's not much in a script, no actor can do anything. Not even a dashing Samir, or even a stunning Mrs Khanna!... full review

Thumbs down by Critic's I-view, SmasHits.com ...senior actors play their roles very well though the movie does not challenge them at all. ... full review

Thumbs down by Sethu Madhavan, Passion for Cinema ...There are so many situations which make you laugh (in agony) and cringe by looking at the situations conjured up by Prem Soni.... full review

Thumbs down by Alekh Sangal, Upper Stall ...Mr Salman Khan sleepwalks through his role earnestly with his ever changing locks, his almost villainous look of negativity and his not so convincing "I love you's".... full review

So-So Indicine ...the director seemed to be in a rush.... full review

Thumbs down by Daliya Ghose, Bollywood Mantra ...The hype surrounds the film was much but it fails to stand up to the expectation of the audience... full review

So-So by Noyon Jyoti Parasara, AOL INDIA ...one-time watch for its ‘cuteness’ factor.... full review

Thumbs down by Sethu Madhavan, Passion for Cinema ...You wonder at times whether it’s an attempt to have a serious take on marital discord or a light hearted entertainer.... full review

Thumbs down by Gaurav Malani, indiatimes ... The film desperately struggles between being a comedy and a sensitive emotional drama but miserably fails on scoring in either genre... full review

Thumbs down by Nikhat Kazmi, Times of India ...Main aurr Mrs Khanna seems to have no passion at all. Neither love, nor anger, nor pain, nor envy. ... full review

Thumbs down by Sameer Dagga, StarBoxOffice ...It’s a pain to see Kareena Kapoor’s talent being wasted in a role that’s neither properly written nor fleshed out... full review

Thumbs down by Tushar Joshi, aslibaat.com ...The story moves at a snails pace in the first half, most of it is gloomy dark and depressing.... full review

So-So real bollywoood ...While his film begins well, establishing his main characters and their issues without much deviation to sub plots, he fumbles in the second half.... full review

Thumbs down by Kaveree Bamzai, india today ...It also has the best part. Bappi Lahiri playing the owner of a café at the airport, wearing his entire gold collection all at once, singing lots of old songs in his incomprehensible accent... full review

Thumbs down by Bobby Singh, Bobby Talks Cinema.com ...In the new age period of 2009, it’s really strange and courageous of the film-makers to even think of conceiving a film on this subject. ... full review

Thumbs down by K K Rai, STARDUST ...his love for Kareena Kapoor, despite of knowing her marital status, seems strange and the Indian audience wouldn’t find it palatable. ... full review

Thumbs down mag4you ... The music is good and so is the cinematography.... full review

Thumbs down by SpiceZee Bureau, ZEENEWS.COM ...thrown in is some music, courtesy the situational dreams of Samir and Akash as they eye the very eyeful Mrs Khanna at suitable intervals throughout the film.... full review

Thumbs down by Mayank Shekhar, Hindustan Times ...The screen is softly lit with no material to take a story forward. ... full review

Thumbs down by Udita Jhunjhunwala, DNA ...what are Bappi Lahiri and Preity Zinta doing in this movie? ... full review

So-So by Subhash K Jha, IBOS ...There are many moments in the writing where an unspoken and delicate line is drawn between the comedy of errors and underlining tragedy of human relationships. ... full review

All the Best - 20 yays, 0 nays, 14 okays

meetu — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 17:57:47 +0530

Hindi Movies, Slapstick, Comedy | 12 comments
Running time: 120 minutes

Quick Review

Rating: Switch channels if it's on cable

Same ol' senseless slapping about, fooling around and basically random running all over the place. The regular elements of a typical slapstick coexist and as always, don't entertain.

34 reviewers have given All the Best an average rating of 4.0/5.0 - 20 thumbs up, 0 thumbs down, and 14 so-so.

Warning: clicking on "full review" will take you to an external website that could contain spoilers.

Thumbs up by Rajeev Masand, IBN Live ...Shorter in length – its songs sacrificed, its action scenes trimmed – All The Best might have been a great Diwali treat. As it currently stands, it's a delicious one-time watch.... full review

Thumbs up by Taran Adarsh, Bollywood Hungama ...Ten minutes into the film and you know that ALL THE BEST is all about mistaken identities.... full review

Thumbs up by Anupama Chopra, NDTV ...It’s seriously low IQ but you can’t stop laughing. The actors are having such a good time that their energy is infectious.... full review

Thumbs up by Sonia Chopra, Sify Movies ...Screenplay writer Yunus Sejawal (Life Partner, Do Knot Disturb) and Robin Bhatt (U, Me Aur Hum) give us a riveting script.... full review

So-So by Sukanya Verma, Rediff ...mostly loud comedy with stale humour and sloppy gags... full review

So-So by Subhash K Jha, Now Running.com ... So ok. This one doesn't leave you... er blue in the face. The comedy is purely situational and the style purely 'Rohit Shetty'. That means a bit of slapstick, a bit of that rapidly-moving tongue in the cheek, and a lot of Ajay Devgn. ... full review

So-So by Ashok Nayak, Now Running.com ...Ajay Devgan has the meatiest role and he is fantastic in the comic scenes. Johnny lever after a long time is fun to watch. ... full review

Thumbs up by Martin D'Souza, Glamsham.com ... MUST WATCH... full review

So-So by Kara Baer, Bolly Spice ...The plot is an exercise in that old chestnut of mixed-up identity... full review

Thumbs up by Anand Vaishnav, Buzz18 ...Sanjay Dutt is the soul of the film. Despite being an Ajay Devgn production, Dutt gets the best lines and is presented in a way that does justice to his seniority.... full review

So-So by Aparajita Ghosh, Apun Ka Choice ...Ajay Devgn (with an ‘a’ flicked out of his surname) does some dangerous stunts besides showing his comic flair... full review

Thumbs up Movie Talkies ...The music of the film is good, the songs in 'All The Best….Fun Begins' are quite situational and are merged perfectly to suit the mood of the film... full review

So-So by Samrat Sharma, fullhyd.com ...There's something to be said about his homegrown aesthetic, though - every shot is hand-made, every sequence crafted with the raw assurance of a team delivering their all on the sets.... full review

Thumbs up by Pankaj Shukla, SmasHits.com ...Rohit Shetty has found a good High Five in his actors.... full review

Thumbs up by Sarita Tanwar, MiD DAY ...Since it's based on a play, it takes a while for Rohit to trigger the fun.... full review

Thumbs up by Hanumant Bhansali, Radio Sargam ...Sanjay Mishra and Johnny Lever also leave no stone unturned in creating laughter and making the journey more delightful... full review

So-So by Subhash K Jha, AOL INDIA ...Shetty doesn't use the touristic spot as a character. You suspect he places his colony of characters in the Goan l... full review

So-So Indiaglitz ...Rohit Shetty never seems to strain himself in experimenting serious motifs over the screens.... full review

So-So Indicine ...The background noise, the dress, the makeup and the behind the scenes clips in the end - the movie in its entirety is too loud... full review

So-So by Khalid Mohamed, Passion for Cinema ...The wild variety of T-shirts convinces you to never dare to wear one in public, what with Popeye and op-art motifs.... full review

Thumbs up by Gaurav Malani, indiatimes ...Nevertheless the humour works since the treatment is not fully farcical but also has a plot primarily focused on mistaken identities... full review

So-So by Mayank Shekhar, Hindustan Times ...It’s heartening to watch Devgn then stick his neck and funnybone out with such a low-key film, cracking it with his casual presence and precise timing... full review

So-So by Nikhat Kazmi, Times of India ...t begins so sluggishly you are almost ready to write it... full review

Thumbs up by Sameer Dagga, StarBoxOffice ...On the narrative front, the pace of the film is loose in the first half with a few incoherent sequences put together which sometimes seem out of the place.... full review

Thumbs up by Sarita Tanwar, aslibaat.com ...Fardeen Khan has equal footage and he proves he’s super when it comes to comedy... full review

Thumbs up real bollywoood ...Dutt too is in top form and entertains.... full review

So-So by Kaveree Bamzai, india today ...Same director, same principal actor, same crazed plot with racist and sexist jokes. And the same insider humour.... full review

Thumbs up by Bobby Singh, Bobby Talks Cinema.com ...With the entertaining comic timing between Sanjay Dutt & Ajay Devgan, the film picks up fast and gets good support from the side tracks of Johny Lever & Sanjay Mishra. ... full review

Thumbs up by K K Rai, STARDUST ...The music by Pritam lacks quality to attract the audiences to theatres on its own.... full review

So-So by Namrata Joshi, Outlook India ... Both he and Dutt seem to be enjoying their comic turn which gives the film much of its madness and energy. ... full review

Thumbs up by Aniruddha Guha, DNA ...Even though the drama becomes predictable after a point, the gags keep you engaged. ... full review

Thumbs up by SpiceZee Bureau, ZEENEWS.COM ...being low on IQ is actually funny... full review

Thumbs up by Shubhra Gupta, indian express ...Actually, it doesn’t really matter about who loves whom, because ‘All The Best’ cheerfully sacrifices all pretence of sense to ensure the gags are rapid fire. ... full review

Thumbs up mag4you ...clean family entertainer mainly targeted at the masses... full review

Blue - 8 yays, 24 nays, 5 okays

Amrah Ashraf — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 16:58:18 +0530

Hindi Movies, Adventure, Action, Thriller | 14 comments
Running time: 117 minutes

Quick Review

Rating: Movie buffs - rent a DVD

The typically banal formula of action and skin packed in with some mind boggling underwater sequence. It will leave you with a bad after taste of what could’ve been a treat! After a while, you might feel you re watching National Geographic packaged the ‘bollywood ishtyle.’

37 reviewers have given Blue an average rating of 1.4/5.0 - 8 thumbs up, 24 thumbs down, and 5 so-so.

Warning: clicking on "full review" will take you to an external website that could contain spoilers.

Thumbs down by Rajeev Masand, IBN Live ...Neither slick nor fast-paced, this film lumbers in circles before crashing into a moronic finale ... full review

Thumbs up by Taran Adarsh, Bollywood Hungama ...The marine life, which you may've watched on National Geographic Channel or Animal Planet, comes alive in all splendour at the start itself. ... full review

Thumbs down by Anupama Chopra, NDTV ...The film’s absolute lack of logic is compounded by the low IQ dialogue. In the middle of a murderous gun battl... full review

Thumbs down by Sonia Chopra, Sify Movies ...Such money and effort on finding the right location for shooting live sharks and getting a stellar cast; and both wasted. ... full review

So-So by Chandrama Pal, Rediff ...Sanjay Dutt -- who wears sunglasses the first thing when gunmen attack his house -- looks flabby and flabbergasted, and seems unsure of what to do with the sizzling Lara on his arms. ... full review

Thumbs up by Joginder Tuteja, Now Running.com ...Action is truly the USP of the film and keeps the momentum going for "Blue" due to which one doesn't quite miss the presence of a solid storyline.... full review

Thumbs down by Ashok Nayak, Now Running.com ...with the viewers having almost forgotten about the adventure that leads to the treasure, the director gets to the point and the search begins... full review

Thumbs up by Hanumant Bhansali, Radio Sargam ...It’s a top notch and above all action flicks made in the Industry till date... full review

So-So by Sarita Tanwar, MiD DAY ...Zayed displays spontaneity... full review

Thumbs down by Pankaj Shukla, SmasHits.com ...Akshay should agree he's getting older by wearing that khichdi goatee; his close-ups show his aging muscles... full review

Thumbs down by Deepa Garimella, fullhyd.com ...Blue, a film that quite easily lends itself to some unfortunate puns involving the words "blue", "depth", "shipwreck" and "sink", comes apart primarily because there's simply no plot.... full review

Thumbs down Movie Talkies ...A bad story is further affected by bad dialogues, again by Mayur Puri, and topple it with sad performances... full review

Thumbs up by N K Deoshi, Apun Ka Choice ... In this adrenaline burst of macho men, speedsters, and deep sea divers who swim with sharks, some glamour and titillation is thrown in in the shapely forms of the bikini-clad Lara Dutta and deadly-looking Katrina Kaif. ... full review

Thumbs down by Jaya Biswas, Buzz18 ...Perhaps director Anthony D'souza doesn’t believe in building up the mystery ... full review

So-So by Ankit Ojha, Planet Bollywood ...Classic was what was expected of the movie, but classic it certainly isn't. Anthony didn’t really miss the bus, but caught a '1970 Ashok Leyland' rather than the latest one!... full review

Thumbs up by Kara Baer, Bolly Spice ...There really isn't much acting required to drive the story forward since the stunts take precedence over plot but Zayed looks like a natural on his motorbike and Akshay, of course, is right at home swimming amidst the sharks... full review

Thumbs down by Martin D'Souza, Glamsham.com ...BLUE is a picnic in the Bahamas for the cast and crew. I guess director Anthony D'Souza told the cast, "Just get in front of the camera and do whatever you want."... full review

Thumbs down by Film Bear, Upper Stall ...The characters have no graph... full review

Thumbs down Indicine ...Not in the history of Bollywood has an actress managed to look so stunning in a Bikini.... full review

So-So Indiaglitz ...musical score by Rahman leaves you irresistible with invigorations... full review

Thumbs down by Noyon Jyoti Parasara, AOL INDIA ...Though the music as a stand alone, in my opinion, is one of Rahman’s most forgettable works, it works in the film, especially the background... full review

Thumbs down by ~UH~, Passion for Cinema ...Akshay Kumar (nicknamed Sarkar) is simply hilarious. His dialogues, attitude, goatie, underwater antics- all makes him the head clown of this once in a blue moon venture.... full review

Thumbs down by Sudhir Nair, Passion for Cinema ...Where all other wannabe directors find it difficult to get a producer even for a Rs. 10 Cr flick, this dude gets a whopping Rs. 100 Cr + for a script that has been written with the least amount of creativity.... full review

Thumbs down by Khalid Mohamed, Passion for Cinema ...Shots through champagne and wine glasses are hilariously retro... full review

Thumbs down by Gaurav Malani, indiatimes ...In absence of a sane screenplay, the viewer is subjected to burnout action sequences and bike chases... full review

Thumbs up by Nikhat Kazmi, Times of India ...boasting of some great deep sea shots ( by Pete Zuccarini, cinematographer, Pirates of the Caribbean fame), stunning above sea level action sequences... full review

Thumbs down by Janhvi Patel, StarBoxOffice ...Lara has barely 8 scenes that give her no scope to perform and she is simply a glam doll who was paid to pour her hot figure in gorgeous bikinis and short dresses... full review

Thumbs up desi hits ..."Blue" is a fresh fast film in a sea of romantic comedies... full review

Thumbs down real bollywoood ...A really interesting premise shot beautifully but messed big time by unimaginative writing and lackluster direction is what Blue shall always be remembered as.... full review

Thumbs down by Bobby Singh, Bobby Talks Cinema.com ...climax simply leaves you confused and annoyed... full review

So-So by Darshit, Movies Music and Me ...Dear Akki, don't take your initials too seriously. 'You Are Not AK' Read scripts instead of Cheques.... full review

Thumbs down by Ashish Gharde, MH-31 Fun Unlimited ...Zayed Khan, a speed sigma – come on yaar, spare us the horror. He is not even the last choice when it comes to speed biking. ... full review

Thumbs up by K K Rai, STARDUST ...A R Rahman’s music gel well with the mood of the flick.... full review

Thumbs down by Aniruddha Guha, DNA ...Director D'souza needs to know that an action film needn't necessarily have close-up shots of a woman's cleavage and derrière repeatedly and pointless gun firing and chase sequences.... full review

Thumbs down by Minty Tejpal, Mumbai Mirror ...the dialogue is absolutely flat and tedious... full review

Thumbs down by SpiceZee Bureau, ZEENEWS.COM ...‘Blue’ ends up as a ruined affair thereby wasting all the moolah its producers pumped in.... full review

Thumbs down by Mayank Shekhar, Hindustan Times ...They call each other Sethji (Kumar) and Sarkarji (Dutt): uncomfortably numb Van Damme and Vin Diesel with croaking voices... full review

Acid Factory - 6 yays, 18 nays, 10 okays

meetu — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 15:36:06 +0530

Hindi Movies, Thriller, Crime, Action | 4 comments
Running time: 110 minutes

Quick Review

Rating: Watch if you have nothing better to do

An interesting premise and oozes of style too. But no detail to speak of and won't thrill an inch in you. You stay uninvolved and largely put off by what's going on, on the screen.

34 reviewers have given Acid Factory an average rating of 1.6/5.0 - 6 thumbs up, 18 thumbs down, and 10 so-so.

Warning: clicking on "full review" will take you to an external website that could contain spoilers.

So-So by Taran Adarsh, Bollywood Hungama ...ACID FACTORY has enough going for it, thanks to its premise which is intriguing. But the plot is such that it takes time to come to the point.... full review

Thumbs down by Anupama Chopra, NDTV ...Verma and his producer Sanjay Gupta try and jazz up this premise with high-octane stunts and Diya Mirza in a dominatrix outfit but when the original is so mediocre, there’s only that far the copy can go.... full review

So-So by Sonia Chopra, Sify Movies ...Had the makers delved into the suspicions, insecurities and hapless condition of the protagonists, the film could've made for a gripping brain-teaser.... full review

So-So by Ashok Nayak, Now Running.com ... Acid Factory has the sleekness; style is high on action, something we have come to expect from Sanjay Gupta films. But as the reels unfold, it fails to build and hold on to the mystery... full review

Thumbs down by Subhash K Jha, Now Running.com ...Women are objects of classy but lustful adoration in Gupta's scheme of things. ... full review

Thumbs up by Ganesh Nadar, Rediff ...The helicopter chase, the innumerable cars blowing up, the bike race, the buggy race held my attention and indicate that producer Sanjay Gupta didn't cut corners when Suparn shot this movie. ... full review

Thumbs down by Hanumant Bhansali, Radio Sargam ...The movie has been lavishly shot and Sanjay Gupta maintains his style of presenting things like men in black, stunning women, trendy gears, chic jackets, cool bikes and cars.... full review

So-So by Tushar Joshi, MiD DAY ...After using intrigue and suspense as an asset in the start, the same elements become banal and cliched as the story moves ahead.... full review

Thumbs up by Pankaj Shukla, SmasHits.com ...The director has belief in his story line and the actors have belief in their delivery.... full review

Thumbs down by Deepa Garimella, fullhyd.com ...you're also kept on the edge of your seat as Fardeen Khan's boss (Gulshan Grover) keeps getting outsmarted by the villains and mouths impactful speeches of defeat - "Bloody smart!" and "Bloody clever!"... full review

So-So Movie Talkies ...Tinu Verma is good with the action scenes but a film like 'Fast And Furious' stills seems like a far fetched thought for Bollywood... full review

Thumbs down by N K Deoshi, Apun Ka Choice ... For a lover of action flicks, ‘Acid Factory’ packs in an ample dose of stunts, action, flying bullets and pyrotechnics... full review

Thumbs down by Anand Vaishnav, Buzz18 ...Dia Mirza's much-hyped negative role is a damp squib. Someone seems to have mercilessly edited her out of most scenes... full review

Thumbs up by Ankit Ojha, Planet Bollywood ...this is the first action thriller after ages that has managed to provide the audience the thrill-a-minute factor... full review

Thumbs up by Roshni Mulchandani, Bolly Spice ... Even though there are a number of characters, each one shines in Acid Factory and are incredibly believable.... full review

Thumbs up by Martin D'Souza, Glamsham.com ...The portrayal of every character and the eventual betrayal is carried off with style and delivered with conviction.... full review

Thumbs down by The ThirdMan, Upper Stall ...Forget the various logical loopholes, sufficient to say no performance stands out to deserve any sort of mention either.... full review

So-So by Daliya Ghose, Bollywood Mantra ...There has been lots of twists and turn in the story and it seems very stressful at times. ... full review

Thumbs up by Noyon Jyoti Parasara, AOL INDIA ...The idea of the story dictates the screenplay and the writer does a reasonably good job. The style of revealing goes well... full review

Thumbs down by Baradwaj Rangan, Blogical Conclusion, The New Sunday Express ...so Western in tone and tenor that the only reason the characters speak in Hindi seems to be the consideration that, otherwise, the films wouldn’t play in India?... full review

Thumbs down by Khalid, Passion for Cinema ...don’t expect any kind of screenplay sustenance here.... full review

Thumbs down by Gaurav Malani, indiatimes ...Call it convenience, coincidence or nationalism but all the players of this foreign gang are Indians... full review

So-So by Nikhat Kazmi, Times of India ...adrenalin pumps up in the second half, with Irrfan Khan adding the razor's edge to the proceedings with his silken smooth crookedness... full review

Thumbs down by Samiya Shakir, StarBoxOffice ... Gulshan Grover who plays a top cop not only makes a fool of himself but gives a real bad name to international police as well.... full review

Thumbs down by Udita Jhunjhunwala, DNA ...Mirza's performance is as stiff as her spray-on black outfit. ... full review

So-So by Tushar Joshi, aslibaat.com ...Technically the film has its moment... full review

So-So real bollywoood ...Manoj Bajpai, Irrfan Khan and Danny are superb in their given parts. Aftab, Fardeen and Dino are well suited to their parts as well and act ably. Gulshan Grover and Neha don’t have much to do... full review

Thumbs down by Kaveree Bamzai, india today ...Manoj Bajpai, trying very hard to play the "joker in the pack" stereotype.... full review

Thumbs down by Mihir Fadnavis, o.main_site.name ...It is more video game than movie, though video games have more interesting characters.... full review

Thumbs down by Bobby Singh, Bobby Talks Cinema.com ...for an avid movie lover who is well familiar with this intense, psychological, brain twister thriller genre of the west, “Acid Factory” is just a rehash version of the Original... full review

So-So by K K Rai, STARDUST ...Cinematography is superb, while sound design seems to be of international standard.... full review

Thumbs down by SpiceZee Bureau, ZEENEWS.COM ...With a brood of out of work actors – Dia Mirza, Fardeen Khan, Aftab Shivdasani and Dino Morea, as well as the fact that the movie in question is a trite remake of ‘Unknown’ (2006), it seems Suparn Verma has boarded a sinking ship!... full review

Thumbs down by Mayank Shekhar, Hindustan Times ...As you’d reckon, cars chase helicopters chase bikes chase your senses.... full review

Thumbs down by Namrata Joshi, Now Running.com ...The plot is so hare-brained, inane and absurd that it’s not even worth dissecting.... full review

This is it - Review

Rajat Agarwal — Fri, 30 Oct 2009 23:48:34 +0530

Hollywood, Docu-drama, Biography | 0 comments
Running time: 110 minutes

Rating: Watch for sure, preferably in theatre

For no mere mortal can resist, the magic of Michael Jackson

Before I begin, I think it would be wise to state that the review is going to be a little biased, me being an ardent fan of Michael Jackson.

This Is It is a film about what could have been. From March through his untimely and unexpected death in June, Michael Jackson and his crew were busy preparing for what would have been his comeback concerts (after 10 years) at London’s O2 arena. What followed, in the approximate two hours of the movie, was a glimpse of what went on during those rehearsals. It would have amazed the audience had it really been it.

This Is It is not a documentary. It is more about his music, his performance. There were fireworks, aerial dancers, majestic costumes, astonishing visual effects and incredible choreography all set to Michael’s classics like “Billie Jean”, “Black or White”, “The Way You Make Me Feel” and “Thriller”.

It was very enlightening to see the young dancers he'd chosen to go on tour with him look into the camera with tears in their eyes and thank him and describe how he'd changed their worlds before they'd ever even met him. It made me wonder if they were interviewed after his death.

The production notes said that the movie was made from over 100 hours of rehearsal footage and I doubt it because it appeared that those were rehearsals for a handful of different days, judging from Michael’s clothes.

And I hope that it's true that Michael really was saving up his energy and voice for the actual concerts as he said in the movie, because even though he sounded and moved superbly for a 50-year-old, he looked tired and frail in some of the sequences.

As the movie went deeper, so did the nostalgic feelings in me. I was just 9 years old when Michael had toured India as a part of HIStory world tour and I would be elated when MTV would become MJTV for some hours, playing only his numbers, as a part of the tour’s promotion. “They don’t care about us” evoked in me the breathtaking performance of the same number in Mumbai in 1997.

But throughout the melodious documentary, there was a melancholic, uneasy sentiment lurking. After wrecking my brains for long, it hit me. What was missing was the audience. We were all used to seeing Jackson’s concerts with the spectators going wild in hysteria. Girls sobbing uncontrollably, people fainting. That used to be the magic, the madness of Michael Jackson’s concerts. All that and more was absent in the rehearsal footages. And it made me feel sad. It somehow coupled with the fall of the artist over the years owing to his eccentricities and finally his death.

“This Is It” facilitated a highly nostalgic farewell to the world of a glorious artiste. It was a splendid souvenir for genuine fans of the late king of pop. And I would be an optimist here and refuse to believe that this was created for purely monetary purposes.

RIP, Michael.

Detailed Ratings:

Direction:
Story:
Lead Actors:
Character Artists:

Dialogues:
Screenplay:
Music Director:
Lyrics:

Review - Aladin: smoothly pulls wool over your eyes

meetu — Fri, 30 Oct 2009 23:31:45 +0530

Hindi Movies, Fantasy, Comedy, Kids | 2 comments
Running time: 120 minutes

Quick Review

Rating: Watch on DVD - though if you like neat graphics, try the theaters

A fun movie for kids and very likely the accompanying adults will not get bored either. Yeah-yeah-yeah, it's the same ol' story, same ol' chosen one saving the world. But it's done very well visually. If only some more energy was spent on the writing.

Rating: Watch on DVD - though if you like neat graphics, try the theaters

You could call it the Hindi Harry Potter 7-crushed into-1 with a dash of X-men thrown in. Or, for that matter, you can look at it as any other super-hero story. BUT, you could also think of Aladin as a huge step forward for Hindi films in terms of graphics and cute imagination - however small it might be.

Don't expect any sort of deviation from the writing department though. Oops! Did I just give the movie away? Oh well, not like you wouldn't guess that in the first 5 minutes. Also, you still don't know how a dim-wit like Aladin (Riteish Deshmukh) manages to keep the evil forces from taking over. There are no fascinating revelations about life and human behavior. There are no aims loftier than power. I don't know about you? But, I thought Aladin was all about adventures, but this is more like a love story.

The first thing that takes you by awe in the first 15-20 minutes or so is the lovely sets. The sand-colored stones, the fortress like look is done really well and you know you are in fairly land with spurts of color showing up on the screen. You are in this town that is more-or-less nameless and is not bound in time. You will see TVs but they have wood-finished remote controls. You have the milkman's cycle and vintage cars.

The other special effects are also fascinating. I wondered if it was just because I was seeing this in a Hindi film. And the answer was a resounding NO! I would have equally appreciated it in a film from any part of the world. The action sequences are smoothly cut and put together. The camera moves lyrically and somehow never gets me out of the story book.

Unfortunately, there's nothing else that's above the average here. I shouldn't be repeating too often that the story is oft-repeated. :) Not only that, it slacks down quite a bit after the first half hour. Also there are jumps in the story that make you feel like you are watching a movie based on a book and they lost 50 pages after every 50 pages. The intriguing suspense in the beginning is not built further and is sorted-out pretty disappointingly.

The acting I guess requires everyone to behave a little over-the-top. I'm not the loud-act-makes-me-laugh audience, so I wouldn't know if the people who like that would enjoy it. I just think it’s a lame excuse in the name of appealing to the kids. We should be developing better tastes in the next generation.

But, given that they are *supposed* to act loud and larger-than-life Amitabh Bachchan and Sanjay Dutt enchant. We knew they are capable of it, and we see it again. Oh, how my heart sinks in giving a movie starring the Big B a low rating. You want to look only at this 65-year in a screen full of dancers. How he pulls off an entire song and makes elegant, the simplest of choreography … *sigh* oh well…

Riteish Deshmukh too succeeds, what looks like effortlessly, in playing the larger-than-life idiot! Some of the scenes with two Aladin's on screen (just like that!) make you respect him even more as an actor. Even if those were the only two expressions he could hold. And what's so special about Jacqueline Fernandez, again? Not her chalk-white face with whiter make-up, right?

And those songs get one too many and thus way too often and spoil that for you too!

For those who are not into Hollywood, this one is a must-must-watch! Others could say, "baah! I've seen it in Hollywood - like 100 times over." Or you could watch it like you would watch the next Holly-thriller-action-superhero movie with a typical No-one-can-save-the-world-but-me plotline. And yet, if there were a sequel, I would look forward to it, because all hope's not lost.

- meetu, a part of the audience

Parental Guidance:

Violence: Super power fights.
Language: Clean
Nudity & Sexual content: Clean.
Concept: Good vs. evil
General Look and Feel: A fairy tale look maintained through the film with loads of songs.

Detailed Ratings:

Direction: 3
Story: 1.5
Lead Actors: 2.5
Character Artists: 2

Dialogues: 2.5
Screenplay: 2.5
Music Director: 2
Lyrics: 2.5

Review - London Dreams: through a pleasant though long night

meetu — Fri, 30 Oct 2009 20:15:48 +0530

Hindi Movies, Relationships | 10 comments
Running time: 150 minutes

Quick Review

Rating: Watch on DVD

There's drama. There are moments atypical of Hindi films. There's the regular Bolly-masala. It entertains and it engages but not for the entire length. Ultimately like many films longer than 2 hours it doesn't arrest you in your seats.

Rating: Watch on DVD

Friends are forever or maybe they are not. Or maybe they become best of friends except for that thin line that still keeps them apart. Does being human mean taking care of yourself or does it mean giving yourself to one and all? Can a human be so selfish or so selfless? Both nauseating in their own way? Well, it takes all kinds to make this world. And that I guess makes it an interesting place to live in albeit insane. Yes. A Vipul Amrutlal Shah film made me think beyond what was going on, on screen. And this is, despite having a few of the quintessential Hindi film touches to it.

That's because it ALSO had broader non-standard and pleasantly surprising strokes. Example, there's no one event or line that transforms the good to evil or vice versa, the character is written in such a way that the transition is smooth. Another such stroke, which I thought made this entire film worth its while, was Arjun's (Ajay Devgn's) character. His traits established, the passion that drives him to his goal and maybe even to insanity. Whether or not he achieves his goal and/or insanity is for you to go and watch. And that's the beauty. The film maintains a dark-ish atmosphere where you know anything could happen and it's equally likely that the film won't end on a popular note. And that keeps the interest alive. Ajay, of course, makes and maintains the serious ambience through the film. The twitches and the way the eyes move to disclose what's on Arjun's mind are not to be missed.

But, then again it's a mainstream Hindi film and it keeps reminding you of that. For instance, almost all the other characters are pretty much flat. Including Manu (Salman Khan) and Priya (Asin). And the actors didn't do much with whatever little scope their characters had either. Salman Khan is his usual stuff. His comic timing is best at some of the really funny lines given to him. It's amazing how the man can do the same thing over and over and over and still have his fans cheering and hooting for him all through. Though in this one there are a few dashes of facial muscle movement here and there.

In a script that did so much with the male protagonist, it’s a shame that the lead woman was so etchily sketched. She could have been more involved. She could at the very least have not disappeared from one of the most crucial plot points in the film!

The show-down is a bit too much to swallow. And the climax came way too quickly and was abrupt. Yes, and I'm still complaining about its length. It's sad when a film is long and you still find something amiss.

Whatever the drawbacks of the film are in terms story or dialogues the improvement, in the entertainment-quotient of these two departments (of a Vipul Shah film) came as a pleasant surprise. And so did the aesthetics in terms of cinematography and sound design. Maybe just losing Akshay Kumar might have done the trick. Ok, sorry, couldn't resist that unwarranted dig.

It's a film that makes you want the hero to win and the anti-hero to not lose. You flinch when the latter is punished and want to reach out to him and tell him it's ok. This one also has a strong hard work vs. talent+charisma debate as a backdrop. But the drama goes on a tad too long. Long enough for you to notice the holes in the other departments. And there they lose us.

- meetu, a part of the audience

Parental Guidance:

Violence: None. One of the characters is a substance abuser.
Language: A few innuendoes here and there and a little bit of toilet humor.
Nudity & Sexual content: Skimpily clad women in bars and dance sequences.
Concept: That of friendship - what makes and breaks it.
General Look and Feel: Is nice and peppy without being too bright or away from reality.

Detailed Ratings:

Direction: 3.5
Story: 3
Lead Actors: 2.5
Character Artists: 2.5

Dialogues: 3
Screenplay: 2
Music Director: 3
Lyrics: 3

Review - Fruit and Nut: more like rotten eggs

meetu — Fri, 23 Oct 2009 14:50:49 +0530

Hindi Movies, Comedy, Slapstick | 1 comment
Running time: 100 minutes

Quick Review

Rating: Switch channels if it's on cable

It tries to be a slapstick with a different kind of humor. And ends up being a different means to achieve the same end, like umpteen other slapstick - ridiculous yet unentertaining. Result - no laughs here either!

Rating: Switch channels if it's on cable

You see Boman Irani in the horrendous get-up and you know the next two hours aren't going to be very bright. But then again, you are an ardent movie buff, right? No wonder you are reading the review of a Hindi film called Fruit and Nut or, like in my case, at the threshold of a theater playing it. Thus you are here with a sliver of hope, a faith in Boman Irani and Diya Mirza's choice of scripts. HA HA! You have been made into a nut case and that's about the only laugh there is related to the film.

It can't be that bad, you think? Bald and wigged villain kidnaps beautiful damsel because he wants the map to a gutter underneath the state assembly building in Mumbai. Co-villain(?) joins in mid-way to achieve the same purpose, except that everyone changes their aims and objectives conveniently. Some because they are actually serving the purpose of protecting heritage against the big bad mall-ification of the city. Except that you are not interested a teeny-weeny bit.

It is a madcap storyline that slapstick lovers relish. The point, they say, is in the chaos where the aim is to make the impossible possible - believable or not is another story. You want madcap? You got MADCAP!! By the ton and more. Everything, every single micro-element of the film is filled with nonsense. Each character is a caricatured caricature. Each movement on screen is an attempt to make the audience laugh at some character or the others' misfortune. Which translates to 'Oh, so not funny'. And the quintessential loudness of the genre adds to the pandemonium.

There seems to be a satirical comment on the trends of urban life while also spoofing Hindi slapstick films. Only that can explain the above average absurdity and disconnect in the dialogues. Especially the lines given to Khandar (Mahesh Manjrekar). A lot of pun used but none with any connection to anything. Anyway in hindsight, it feels like a farfetched theory and me trying my best to find meaning in the chaos.

Anyway, though I understand this is not my kind of humor, I doubt it has anything for the genre-buffs either. When 100 minutes get a bit too much to stay put in the seat, you know all has gone wrong.

- meetu, a part of the audience

Parental Guidance:

Violence: Kidnapping, etc in the name of comedy.
Language: Clean
Nudity & Sexual content: None
Concept: Crime and terror to save the heritage of the nation.
General Look and Feel: Loud and not funny

Detailed Ratings:

Direction: 1
Story: 0.5
Lead Actors: 1
Character Artists: 1

Dialogues: 1.5
Screenplay: 0.5
Music Director: 2
Lyrics: 1

Review - Main Aur Mrs Khanna: Where's the love?

Akashi Kaul — Sat, 17 Oct 2009 02:29:52 +0530

Hindi Movies, Relationships, Comedy | 0 comments
Running time: 130 minutes

Quick Review

Rating: Movie buffs - rent a DVD

So when a guileless Salman Khan worshipper like myself, gets ready at 8 in the morning,(and mind you, GETS READY and not just WAKES UP), to go for the latest Salman Khan movie, the least she (or in some cases, he) can expect is for that movie to be a Salman Khan movie, right? Wrong. Apparently, nowadays, it’s okay to lead the audience on. You can show them something and not deliver. So when you project Main aur Mrs. Khanna as a Salman Khan starrer, you can get away with ensuring that the Khan with an attitude makes a single appearance on either side of the interval.

Main aur Mrs. Khanna, to say the least, is the work of an extremely confused filmmaker. Perhaps, Prem Soni, the director, screenplay, story, and dialogue writer (phew!) of this movie, started off with a fair idea of what he wanted to show, but somewhere in the middle, just lost it. What could otherwise have been a pretty good movie turned into a so-so fare by the average treatment meted out to it. The plot is interesting but it is let down by a loose screenplay. Also, a film like Main aur Mrs. Khanna could have done with a lot more drama in it.

The main flaw, however, in Main aur Mrs. Khanna lies in characterization. The characters, especially the lead characters, are not etched definitively. If you were to define a singular character in the movie in just about one word, you wouldn’t be able to do so. For that matter, even if you were given as many words you liked, you still wouldn’t be able to do so. Primarily because right till the end of the movie, you have no idea WHO these people are. Sure you know their names, you know their profession. But the connect that a viewer has with a character, is sorely missed. We don’t feel for Kareena when she cries, nor do we laugh when she laughs. This movie commits the cardinal sin of being just something that we are watching on the big screen – it forms no relation with its audience.

The first half is slightly flat but the tempo picks up a little in the second half. In fact, the second half can squeeze quite a few laughs out of you. Just when you think that the movie might just start living up to your expectations, the plot falls flat again. The end is, in fact, very patchy and some details in the end are just plain unnecessary.

Another sphere where the movie lacks is the chemistry between the lead pair. A movie that is trying to put across a message about love and relationships simply cannot do without absolutely sizzling chemistry between the lead (or so the promos say) couple. The missing chemistry, however, is not the actors’ fault it is more the director and story/screenplay writer’s fault. He just hasn’t etched characters strong enough to portray any sort of relationship.

The look of the movie otherwise is good. The locales are good, as is Kareena’s styling. From the glam doll in Kambakht Ishq to girl-next-door (or at least Kareena’s version of it), Kareena’s look has definitely undergone a change. However, it is at odds with the character she plays. How can an orphan afford such expensive clothes?

Salman is well, just Salman. No need to say anymore. He looks good and acts like he always does. However, the age is definitely beginning to show a little, and the whole ‘young couple’ look kind of goes for a toss.

Sohail Khan has probably delivered his best performance to date in this movie (which isn’t saying much, considering he has acted in movies like Aryan; but he is quite good here). Yash Tonk is funny in bits and unnoticeable in other bits. Nauheed Cyrusi and Mahek Chahal might as well have been carved out of stone and Dino Morea had a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it appearance. The surprise package of the movie came in the form Bappi Lahiri, who was in his element as Kareena’s boss.

Music is passable, with just one track, Don’t Say Alvida standing out. Preity Zinta’s item song is just about okay. Choreography is not spectacular or even noticeable. Other technical aspects are just okay, though the flashback technique, of going into a black and white zone, looks quite nice.

Salman Khan fans might be a tad bit disappointed, though, with the size of his role. Watch only if you must. Till then keep guessing ki ‘Kiski Mrs. Khanna’ (whose Mrs. Khanna).

Parental Guidance:

Overall: U/A

Detailed Ratings:

Direction: 2
Story: 3.5
Lead Actors: 3
Character Artists: 1

Dialogues: 3
Screenplay: 2
Music Director: 2
Lyrics: 2

Review - Blue: In Deep Water

Amrah Ashraf — Sat, 17 Oct 2009 02:06:51 +0530

Hindi Movies, Adventure, Action, Thriller | 14 comments
Running time: 117 minutes

Quick Review

Rating: Movie buffs - rent a DVD

Blue is a perfectly good example of what money can’t buy-quality. With its expansive canvas, produced at an estimated 100 crores, Blue is a sheer waste of money not only for the financiers but also for the audiences. The crew comprises of two oscar winners - Musician AR Rehman and Sound Designer Resul Pookutty, Pete Zucarini of the ‘pirates of the Caribbean fame’ underwater director of photography, the pop diva Kylie Minogue and a host of stars including Sanjay Dutt, Akshay Kumar, Lara Dutta and Zayed Khan. It’s simple lesson for the first time Director Anthony D Souza that the basic premise for a good movie is a solid script and not star power!

In a preposterous statement Anthony D Souza said that it was necessary to restrict the film to less than two hours. But after having sat through the entire 117 minutes (minus the interval which was a relief) the movie could’ve been much shorter. I was actually bored towards the end of the movie.

The movie is marred by an almost non existent script, weak dialogues, lack luster music and poor direction. The story is predictable from the beginning itself and therefore lacks the twists and turns that are absolutely imperative for an action packed thriller. Instead of being a roller coaster ride high on adrenaline and volatile circumstances, the movie is prosaic with a ridiculous climax. It is much too slow for a movie of its genre and does not push the viewers to the edge. Lara Dutta was probably the only factor which left the viewers gasping and asking for more!

There is no doubt that the movie has its moments. The impressive underwater sequences (Pete Zucarini) especially the one where Sanjay Dutt and Akshay Kumar actually ride a shark will take your breath away. The lighting for the underwater sequences is spectacular and the over all look is chic.

It also boasts of some exhilarating action sequences both on land and in water. The bike chase sequence is ‘fast and furious’ which pushes the viewers to the edge.

Lara Dutta’s sculptured body adorned by gorgeous bikinis has pushed the oomph meter to unprecedented levels and is a visual treat for all.

Blue is set in the sun soaked beaches of Bahamas. Sagar (Sanjay Dutt), a simple guy and a polished deep sea diver befriends Aaraav (Akshay Kumar), a rich ambitious businessman who loves his women and a good life. Lara Dutta (Mona) plays Sagar’s wife and his eye candy.

A fat Sanjay Dutt is laughable as a sea diver but gives a good performance otherwise. Akshay Kumar looks uber cool with his grey goatee and a hot body. Zayed Khan’s performance is ignorable and he just cannot emote for nuts. The high point of the film is definitely Lara Dutta who will now give the other actresses a run for their money post her memorable performance in Blue. She looks as fresh as the morning mist and adds panache to her bikini clad character and does not look vulgar at all.

The dialogues are absolutely ridiculous and inarticulate. Lara Dutta in a tense moment exclaims amidst bullets and villains, “why don’t you talk and sort things out?” Amazing isn’t it! The dialogues are almost contemptible.

The music surprisingly doesn’t click at all. The much hyped Kylie Minogue number “Chiggy Wiggy” is disappointing. The other songs (that I cannot even remember vaguely) have forgettable melodies. The last song “fiqrana” does manage to stay in your head but can be easily replaced. Seems Mr. Rehman is too conscious of his new stature post Oscars and played it much too safe.

The director Anthony D Souza must realize that making a good film is not about bulging budget or star power or putting fancy visuals on screen. A good film has its foundation strong on a solid script while the façade comprises of the above mentioned facets in the right combination.

Blue could’ve been a defining moment in the history of bollywood but instead is a damp squid.

Parental Guidance:

Violence: too much both on land and in water.
Nudity & Sexual content: Lara Dutta sashays in her bikinis almost throughout the film but does not look vulgar and few songs with women clad in skimpy clothes.
Concept: action packed thriller.
General Look and Feel: is initially exciting but boring after a while.

Detailed Ratings:

Direction: 2
Story: 2
Lead Actors: 2.5
Character Artists: 3

Dialogues: 2
Screenplay: 2
Music Director: 1.5
Lyrics: 2

Review - All the Best: closer to worst

meetu — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 20:19:40 +0530

Hindi Movies, Comedy, Slapstick | 12 comments
Running time: 120 minutes

Quick Review

Rating: Switch channels if it's on cable

Same ol' senseless slapping about, fooling around and basically random running all over the place. The regular elements of a typical slapstick coexist and as always, don't entertain.

Rating: Switch channels if it's on cable

Sometime earlier this week, a friend suggested that all I'd need to do for the review of All the Best is to copy-paste the review of Golmaal Returns. I laughed it off then. On Diwali-eve, I'm so tempted to use that suggestion as really well-meaning and useful advice. But, non-plagiarizers that we are, here you go. (And if don't care for the details, the rating says it all. Golmaal Returns is not recommended and neither is All The Best.)

There are these two buffoons who are the creative types, so they obviously can't earn for themselves - Prem, Prem Chopra (Ajay Devgan) and Veer (Fardeen Khan). But they have expensive tastes and style of living. So, of course they beg, borrow, AND steal. And lie, lie to cover that lie and so on. And of course, a successful business tycoon, more gullible than the average nincompoop, Dharam (Sanjay Dutt) completes the circle.

Yeah, that's the kind of "plot" we are looking at. (Of course, you can choose not to look at it, I didn't.) Add to it the endless stream of caricatured characters who add to the commotion. But, there is this razor-thin silver lining to this dark cloud - there are a few good one liners every once in a while. And they are delivered pretty subtly, especially in comparison to the rest of the movie. The understated tone in which the lines just come make them funnier too. But they are only few and not worth spending those extra calories you've put on this festive season. Enjoy the extra weight, seriously.

Nothing else is subtle about the rest of the show though. The acting is loud and the background music is louder. And when that's deemed "not enough" there is this shriek-track played in addition to the background score. Supposedly to make us laugh or NOT!

There isn't anything stylish or cool or worth-watching about the actors' appearances either. The women are wearing the lousiest of outfits and are made up way too much. The men are in their usual slapsticky mode, cracking a few toilet jokes, a few innuendoes and the occasional witty line. So mundane is that there is no amount of oomph their presence could add. Not that they are the best lookers in the industry anyway.

A lot of older films are referred to. Maybe they are supposed to be tributes. But looked more like insults both in the way they were used AND because the film that's paying a tribute also needs to be of a certain basic quality to consider itself worthy of paying that tribute, right?

There is this slight comment on undying friendship and the extent to which the best of friends can go to save each others' skin. And there are a couple very sweet moments between Ajay Devgan and his screen partner Bipasha Basu. The fact that they worked for me despite coming towards the end of a tiring film, means all the contributors to those shots did their job really well. If only there were more of those.

Yes, guys, go watch that diya burn. Your Diwali will be happier by avoiding this one.

- meetu, a part of the audience

Parental Guidance:

Violence: A couple of fights and action sequences
Language: A few innuendoes.
Nudity & Sexual content: Skimpily clad women.
Concept: Friendship and the lies friends tell for each other :)
General Look and Feel: Crisp and bright but I still wouldn't take the kids out for this one. Uhh…or recommend that the parent/guardian go either.

Detailed Ratings:

Direction: 1
Story: 1
Lead Actors: 1
Character Artists: 1

Dialogues: 1.5
Screenplay: 0.5
Music Director: 0.5
Lyrics: 0.5

Review - Acid Factory: fails the litmus test

meetu — Fri, 09 Oct 2009 20:01:49 +0530

Hindi Movies, Thriller, Action, Crime | 4 comments
Running time: 110 minutes

Quick Review

Rating: Watch if you have nothing better to do

An interesting premise and oozes of style too. But no detail to speak of and won't thrill an inch in you. You stay uninvolved and largely put off by what's going on, on the screen.

Rating: Watch if you have nothing better to do

Rustic, grainy look. Immense style. Everything else wannabe - story, acting, thriller. There isn't even an attempt to get us hooked. They try hard, really hard to get us curious. But it doesn't work. And most unfortunately, we get the feeling that they think they are succeeding and are feeling good about it.

So you have a situation with 6 people who have lost their memories locked in a clanky, metallic setting. No one knows who's who, including their own selves. Now doesn't that strike odd? No? How about I tell you even after watching the whole movie, identities known and all, it wouldn't matter which one of the 6 was which character. The personalities are pretty similar to each other. Age no bar, sex no bar. Even if they were interchanged at will, your reaction would still be an uninvolved, "oh ok, if you say so." That is if you are bothered to react after having already spent a good 100 minutes on the film already.

Of course there's so much that could be done with this situation, especially with the memory loss angle. But, na-ah, not a wrinkle on your forehead it brings. You are least interested in who's done what to whom. And it's difficult to point out why that is. Maybe because of the narrative style chosen. I usually enjoy two threads running together especially when they are set apart in time. But here, it just doesn't do it. Whether it is the lackluster story that happened in the history or whether the current situation is an overkill of drama for such a lame story in the background, I don't know. Both in parts, maybe.

The non-performances don't help the do either. They actually made Dia Mirza shriek. That's just not fair. She can carry herself off in an action role, the lady can also emote, why make her character a prop? The other long list of equal length roles are all plain plain.

You got to give some marks for the choice of texture for the film. Whether it was how the movie was shot or it was done in post-production is of little concern to the audience and the impact it has on them. The effect is pretty cool. And that's it. You enjoy the first 10 minutes and then what? There's nothing else to watch out for. Finito.

So, yet another nice concept goes down the drain. This time because there's nothing other than the concept to chug the film forward. Oh well, waiting for the Diwali releases already.

- meetu, a part of the audience

Parental Guidance:

Violence: It’s the action genre, there's enough gun shots doing their rounds.
Language: Clean
Nudity & Sexual content: Dia Mirza wearing a bare-back outfit, if you consider that nudity, that is.
Concept: 6 people in a room who don't know each other and have lost their memory. Their actions and interactions.
General Look and Feel: It has a rough, dark look.

Detailed Ratings:

Direction: 2
Story: 1.5
Lead Actors: 1
Character Artists: 0.5

Dialogues: 0.5
Screenplay: 0.5
Music Director: 1
Lyrics: 1

Wake Up Sid - 39 yays, 5 nays, 5 okays

meetu — Thu, 08 Oct 2009 11:26:59 +0530

Hindi Movies, Romance, Relationships | 5 comments
Running time: 150 minutes

Quick Review

Rating: Watch for sure, preferably in theatre - Chick-flick warning!

Opposites attact, they say. But even the opposites had something similar that keep them together, for each other, and maybe even for ever. Similarities or differences - celebrate whatever it is that is the cause of your love. A chick flick that's not only for chicks.

49 reviewers have given Wake Up Sid an average rating of 4.2/5.0 - 39 thumbs up, 5 thumbs down, and 5 so-so.

Warning: clicking on "full review" will take you to an external website that could contain spoilers.

Thumbs down by Blogeswari, Blogeswari ...Had I spent my own money watching a dud like this the tone of this review would have headed elsewhere.... full review

Thumbs up by Rajeev Masand, IBN Live ...Wake Up Sid might be described as a PG-13 version of a coming-of-age film what with its protagonist showing no signs of sexual awakening or romantic leanings at all.... full review

Thumbs up by Taran Adarsh, Bollywood Hungama ...The first hour, right till the intermission, sweeps you off your feet. ... full review

So-So by Anupama Chopra, NDTV ... The bigger problem is that the crisis of the characters never feels sufficiently awful or urgent. ... full review

Thumbs down by Sonia Chopra, Sify Movies ...Even before she finds work, the home is rented out. ... full review

Thumbs up by Ashish Gharde, MH-31 Fun Unlimited ...Shankar-Ehsaan-Loys music is mediocre. Barring the title song and Iktara, the compositions are strictly average.... full review

Thumbs up by Ashok Nayak, Now Running.com ... No one else could have handled these roles with such dexterity and charm. ... full review

Thumbs up by Joginder Tuteja, Now Running.com ...doesn't just bring a turnaround in Sid's character by throwing a song to bring in that 'overnight transformation'.... full review

Thumbs up by Sukanya Verma, Rediff ...Ayan's Sid appears to be an amalgamation of all of the three leading men in DCH. ... full review

Thumbs down SearchIndia.com ...None of the songs had any life in them.... full review

Thumbs up by Hanumant Bhansali, Radio Sargam ...the directorial debut of a young director Ayan Mukherji and is worth applauding. ... full review

Thumbs up by Sarita Tanwar, MiD DAY ...Sid's problems are real; his handling of them is real, as is his approach in overcoming them. ... full review

Thumbs up by Ahinsa Kumari, merinews ...narrates a story that you can relate to instantly and treats it with extreme care... full review

So-So by Pankaj Shukla, SmasHits.com ...As a debutant director Ayan Mukherjii has passed his first examination. But, he certainly cannot claim to be a fine storyteller. ... full review

Thumbs up by Jaiwantika Dutta-Dhupkar, fullhyd.com ...In terms of style, Wake Up Sid is different from several of Dharma Productions' (the Karan Johar company) films, and debutante Ayan Mukherji has his own distinct touch.... full review

Thumbs up Movie Talkies ... This movie is a refreshing change from the stereo type Bollywood movies and easily falls into the genre of the new age cinema... full review

Thumbs up by N K Deoshi, Apun Ka Choice ...Ranbir Kapoor and Konkona Sen Sharma, two of the best talents in the new crop of actors, live their parts... full review

Thumbs up by Anand Vaishnav, Buzz18 ...Wake Up Sid does not go in for an out-and-out humourous take on Ranbir's character. Neither does it give long, melodramatic sermons. ... full review

Thumbs up by Lidia Ostepeev, Planet Bollywood ...The film’s strength lies in drawing out points of contact - authentic moments of distilled emotion that connoisseurs of Bollywood romance appreciate.... full review

Thumbs down by Kaushik Chatterjee, Desicritics ...She, like the aforementioned veteran actors, try to salvage what they can but there's only so much you can do to save a straw hut in the eye of a hurricane... full review

Thumbs up by Roshni Mulchandani, Bolly Spice ... Watch out for the scenes between Sid and his mother; they're incredibly shot as it changes from one of repulse to respect. ... full review

Thumbs up by Martin D'Souza, Glamsham.com ...Ranbir Kapoor has the charm of Rishi Kapoor and the sexiness of his mother Neetu Kapoor.... full review

Thumbs up by The ThirdMan, Upper Stall ...Few actors are as natural and carefree in front of the camera like Ranbir Kapoor and he captures every mood and shade of his character with total confidence... full review

Thumbs up Indicine ...Konkana Sen Sharma is good yet again. Frankly, she doesn’t need dialogues, her eyes and facial expressions do the trick... full review

Thumbs up by Deep, Deep's Home ...it can be called as a common plot too but hell with it, the story was presented and narrated very well.. ... full review

Thumbs up by Noyon Jyoti Parasara, AOL INDIA ...What is interesting about ‘WUS’ is that neither does it make a caricature of any of the characters, nor does it get too serious.... full review

Thumbs up by full2faltu, Full2 Faltu ...How a gorl from Kolkatta can afford a house in Bandra and paint and decorate it with no job in hand. I guess the answer would be cinematic liberties. ... full review

Thumbs up by Nova, The World As I See It ...The story was another plus for the movie.... full review

So-So by Baradwaj Rangan, Blogical Conclusion, The New Sunday Express ...It has all the weight of a television commercial showing sad people transforming into happy people in the course of thirty seconds,... full review

Thumbs up by Amodini, Amodini's Movie Reviews ...He takes this basic coming-of-age story and infuses it with humor, charm, and some very moving familial touches... full review

Thumbs up by RK, Passion for Cinema ...In most of the intense scenes between Aisha and Sid, being elder Aisha is able to catch the right message of a moment earlier than Sid as he has little or no idea at that moment... full review

So-So by Neha Viswanathan, Within / Without ...One thing that annoys me constantly when I watch films about Bombay/ Mumbai (there I’ve got both versions), is their inability to deal with Bombay as a city rather than just the piece of land right next to Marine Drive.... full review

Thumbs up by Gaurang, Passion for Cinema ...Ayan Mukherjee comes across as a normal simple good guy. He is probably an adolescent Farhan Akhtar. ... full review

So-So by Subhasish Chakraborty, Passion for Cinema ...Why the movie works is because for the most part the movie stays believable, realistic and likable... full review

Thumbs up by Gaurav Malani, indiatimes ...The simplicity of Ayan Mukerji’s writing is what appeals to the viewer.... full review

Thumbs up by Mayank Shekhar, Hindustan Times ...belongs to a sweet genre... full review

Thumbs up by Avijit Ghosh, Times of India ...The change in the tenor of relationship between the lead pair as well as the texture of their own changing selves is detailed with diligence, delineated with tenderness... full review

Thumbs up by Janhvi Patel, StarBoxOffice ...WUS is a slice-of-life film which is filled with wonderful, spontaneous and original moments... full review

Thumbs up by Udita Jhunjhunwala, DNA ...Mukerji still has some way to go as a writer, but his film demonstrates promising skills as a director. ... full review

Thumbs up by Aniruddha Guha, DNA ...Wake Up Sid, the directorial debut of Ayan Mukerjee, is almost lacklustre until the interval... full review

Thumbs up real bollywoood ... Music by Shankar Ehsaan Loy is fresh but Dev.D composer Amit Trivedi one song in the film ‘Ektaara’ is the one you come out humming.... full review

Thumbs up by Kaveree Bamzai, india today ...why does Rahul Khanna have to keep acting as the spare wheel in every relationship? ... full review

Thumbs up by SpiceZee Bureau, ZEENEWS.COM ...A catchy soundtrack adds to the USP of the film... full review

Thumbs up by Mihir Fadavanis, o.main_site.name ...Anupam Kher makes a strong impression... full review

Thumbs down by Bobby, Bobby Talks Cinema.com ...However, the movie has its moments with few worth watching scenes representing the current generation.... full review

Thumbs up by Darshit, Movies Music and Me ...Lakshya meets Taare Zameen Par meets Rock On meets Luck By Chance.... full review

Thumbs up by Raghav Ramaiah, Talking Popcorns ...Dharma Productions have always lived up to the expectations and this time around its no different... full review

Thumbs up B4U TV ...It has a constant flow throughout; no over the top or understated drama; no ultra emotional strangulation of viewers; absolutely no yuppie cool guy act; and last but not the least, this is an original and energizing tale.... full review

Thumbs up by K K Rai, STARDUST ...Namit Das, who plays the character of Rishi (Sid’s friend) in the film, looks perfect in the role.... full review

Do Knot Disturb - 5 yays, 20 nays, 6 okays

meetu — Thu, 08 Oct 2009 11:18:02 +0530

Hindi Movies, Slapstick | 5 comments
Running time: 150 minutes

Quick Review

Rating: Switch channels if it's on cable

Quick! Read it as a typo. Read it as 'not' instead of the numerologically correct 'knot'. And start with the ticket-seller. Do not disturb the Box Office.

31 reviewers have given Do Knot Disturb an average rating of 1.3/5.0 - 5 thumbs up, 20 thumbs down, and 6 so-so.

Warning: clicking on "full review" will take you to an external website that could contain spoilers.

Thumbs down by Rajeev Masand, IBN Live ...repellant comedy... full review

Thumbs up by Taran Adarsh, Bollywood Hungama ...the motive, like always, is to keep you in splits and DO KNOT DISTURB succeeds to a large extent. ... full review

Thumbs down by Anupama Chopra, NDTV ...But the unkindest cut is that they have reduced one of Bollywood’s most elegant actresses Sushmita Sen to an overweight eyesore.... full review

Thumbs down by Ashok Nayak, Now Running.com ...The outdated situational jokes like the dead body of the detective going around the hotel and some faulty characterizations like the crazy angry ex-boyfriend are a huge turn-off. ... full review

Thumbs down by Syed Firdaus Ashraf, Rediff ...Lara Dutta fails to impress... full review

Thumbs down by Hanumant Bhansali, Radio Sargam ...one would not like to miss to see two stunning, gorgeous and voluptuous ladies, Lara Dutta and Sushmita Sen in the same film.... full review

Thumbs down by Sarita Kanwar, MiD DAY ...Just watch the episode of 10 Ka Dum which featured Govinda, Riteish and David. It is far more entertaining than the film.... full review

Thumbs down by Sonia Chopra, Sify Movies ...Extra-marital affairs have been the subject of several of David Dhawan’s films, but a treatment that ODs on infantile sexual innuendos is hardly amusing today.... full review

Thumbs down by Roshni Mulchandani, Bolly Spice ...Govinda makes the film worth watching for his great comic-timing and dialogue delivery.... full review

Thumbs down by Anand Vaishnav, Buzz18 ...Dhawan's execution never reaches the crazy heights to ensure sustained laughter... full review

So-So by Nikhil Kumar, Apun Ka Choice ...Govinda is back in form but is let down by a script that doesn’t have much new to offer... full review

So-So Movie Talkies ...what is superb about the film is its screenplay.... full review

Thumbs up by Deepa Giramella, fullhyd.com ...suffers from logic about as much as a tipsy party-goer suffers from woolly-headedness... full review

Thumbs up by Pankaj Shukla, SmasHits.com ...Govinda as an entertainer strikes back. He shows his mettle once again and also proves that he is not an actor to do away with easily. ... full review

Thumbs down by Martin D'Souza, Glamsham.com ...Songs pop up at unexpected turns and you end up feeling bad for the director who gave us a few No. 1 hits. ... full review

Thumbs down by The ThirdMan, Upper Stall ...The actors give each other a really tough fight to see who comes out with the worst performance in the film. ... full review

So-So Indicine ...Sushmita Sen has put on a lot of weight for her role, yet she looks good and acts well. ... full review

Thumbs down by Daliya Ghose, Bollywood Mantra ...Another drawback of the film is the unpleasant music. The music by Nadeem-Shravan was not very ear-soothing.... full review

Thumbs down by Noyon Jyoti Parasara, AOL INDIA ...Technically the film does not look half as sleek as David’s last film ‘Partner’ and neither does the music work. ... full review

Thumbs up by Proneet Dutta, Passion for Cinema ...Dhawan is not really a great director , but he definitely is one of the best editors .... full review

Thumbs down by Baradwaj Rangan, Blogical Conclusion, The New Sunday Express ...Manoj Pahwa shows up as the only one who cannot do it – he sits on a porcelain throne and pleads with his constipated bowels, “Aaja!” And you wonder if this visual isn’t the perfect metaphor... full review

Thumbs down by Gaurav Malani, indiatimes ...And when Dhawan realizes that the screenplay cannot be stretched any further, all conflicts are conveniently resolved in split-seconds through emotional outbursts... full review

So-So by Avijit Ghosh, Times of India ...And his loyal single-screen fans might still enjoy the way he says, Dolly, Dolly¸ Dolly, every time he sees the stunning Lara Dutta. ... full review

Thumbs down by Samiya Shakir, StarBoxOffice ...It came to a point when you ask yourself who is the worst of the lot as each of the actors are as bad as the next in the film.... full review

Thumbs down by Udita Jhunjhunwala, DNA ...And what has happened to Sushmita Sen? Dressing her in shapeless sacks cannot cover up the shock of her transformation.... full review

Thumbs down real bollywoood ...Nadeem Shravan’s music is dated like the film’s jokes barring the Bebo number. Sets are gaudy and camerawork functional.... full review

Thumbs up by K K Rai, STARDUST ...Lara Dutta, who plays the sensuous supermodel in love with a married Govinda, seems to have developed a flair for comedy, and comes out winner ... full review

Thumbs down by Bobby Singh, Bobby Talks Cinema.com ...In the second half, David also uses the cult “Dead Body Act” from “Jaane Bhi Do Yaaron”, which again falls flat along with other half baked jokes played for the viewers. ... full review

Thumbs down by Mihir Fadnavis, o.main_site.name ...The performances, apart from Rajpal Yadav's are cringe inducing... full review

So-So by SpiceZee Bureau, ZEENEWS.COM ...Riteish Deshmukh has successfully managed to match Govinda’s famous comic timings, and he actually manages it all with style. ... full review

So-So by Minty Tejpal, Mumbai Mirror ... The dialogues are consistently inventive, while a few sequences, like Govinda speaking in a ladies falsetto voice... full review

Review - Do Knot Disturb: As if we wanted to knock!

meetu — Fri, 02 Oct 2009 06:55:39 +0530

Hindi Movies, Slapstick | 5 comments
Running time: 150 minutes

Quick Review

Rating: Switch channels if it's on cable

Quick! Read it as a typo. Read it as 'not' instead of the numerologically correct 'knot'. And start with the ticket-seller. Do not disturb the Box Office.

Rating: Switch channels if it's on cable

A few people complain that I take "without giving the movie away" too seriously and I should at least give a bit of the story outline. Here you go - an infidel husband is trying to hide his illicit affair from his wife who's keen on finding out more about the woman who is nagging her boyfriend to leave his wife who has hired her admirer to spy on her husband who has hired a man to pretend to be his girlfriend's boyfriend who is trying to escape from the girlfriend's ex-boyfriend. And I'm not making this up!

I truly don't even know which pulled hair to begin with, for slapsticks like these. They take my frustration with "brains out" school of film-making to astounding new levels. How come? Because they take actors like Ranvir Shorey and throw them down the chute. Ok, can't complain about Govinda and Riteish Deshmukh because they have set themselves in that groove. Though they know and so do we, they can do much better comedy if they were given a chance to. But, charming Sushmita Sen - with or without the extra weight? She can act, most certainly better than this. Same goes for Lara Dutta. I've always liked her for carrying of all kinds of attires in style. But the skin on display here is yuckety yuck!! And all she does is shriek, shriek louder and some more.

And as if that weren't enough there's a sequence in the film when Govinda and Riteish Deshmukh adopt a female voice. And by definition women shriek, right? Right! So at one point there were 3 female shrieks on at once. Oh, the nightmare! Actually, I think most of the dubbing was heavily processed by the latest equipment available for editing. I refuse to believe any human could create so much noise so consistently for such a long time.

And not so much as half a punch line in this never-ending circus. Not a single gag that could bring as much as a smirk out of you.

I sound so petty trying to find faults in a film that might actually have felt offended if we liked something about it. Zilch content unless loud tight slaps, louder background music, moronic situations can make a non-negative contribution to content.

The religiously inclined, please let the movie-watching audience know what ritual we need to conduct to send the Dhavan-Govinda combination to retirement. Please, please, please, oh mighty ones, please tell us…

- meetu, a part of the audience

Parental Guidance:

Violence: Slapsticky slapping around
Language: Clean except for the references to toilet and sex-related humor.
Nudity & Sexual content: Skimpily clad women throughout.
Concept: Extra-marital affair and hiding what you did wrong.
General Look and Feel: It bright and light. But topic kids could live without knowing.

Detailed Ratings:

Direction: 0
Story: 0
Lead Actors: 0
Character Artists: 0

Dialogues: 0.25
Screenplay: 0
Music Director: 0
Lyrics: 0

Review - Wake Up Sid: Romance-in' Mumbai

meetu — Fri, 02 Oct 2009 04:16:34 +0530

Hindi Movies, Relationships, Romance | 5 comments
Running time: 150 minutes

Quick Review

Rating: Watch for sure, preferably in theatre - Chick-flick warning!

The whiff of the Arabian Sea. You smell it. The first few drops of rain on your sweating forehead. You sense them. The love that only a Mumbaikar can express for his city. You feel it. I'm getting all romantic on you. You dread it. But what do I do when I see two people just be so comfortable on screen - as characters and as actors. Not necessarily romantically in the "more than friends" sort-of a way. But romantically as two individuals who react and interact.

So, you got that? The number of times "romantic" and its derivatives have been repeated so far should indicate that you, the young lads, should already be planning that dinner date after the perfect date movie. And chicks, go watch this flick. The older generation on the other hand could empathize with the parents in the film.

Sid is a normal, college-going kid - neither the superstar of his college, nor the super-buffoon. Neither the teenage heartthrob nor the class dunce. He's carefree and proud of it. Aisha is serious and knows what she wants. Her practicality is not an exaggeration, nor is it understated - a regular, motivated girl. Their contrasts - evident. Their similarities - to be deciphered.

The first sequence in the film tells you this film is going take its own time to develop and unfold. And by the last sequence you know there isn't much unfolding to be done (except t-shirts and kurtis). The story is half-a-line and yet I'm going to be feel hurt on behalf of the makers if the audience complained, "there was no story!" At times when the movie goes deeper, it doesn't need too many words to describe the story.

And the more time I spent with Sid (Ranbir Kapoor) and Aisha (Konkona Sen Sharma), the more I wanted to know them. It felt better to see screen time being spent on the niceties of their relationship. It was good to see them grow closer to and fonder of each other. Aaawww…that's what friendships should be like. And then I was deprived of more. And I was hurt when one was oblivious to the other's emotions just to satisfy the hunger for drama. Whether it’s the maker's hunger or the audience's - I do not know. But annoyed I was, to see the twosome that got me into their drawing room, throw me out by their out-of-character, ignorant behavior. Those two, who were candid, lucid and were supposed to be best of friends until a few minutes ago.

Then there were the couple of side characters who were there just to throw in a punch. Anything to do with Karan Johar has to have some angle of parental love and associated dramatic moments. Whether or not they belong. And they do not belong here. Especially when you realize one of them has been caricatured just for that one punch line. The lines which were fine until then and later too. Smartly used by thinking and sensitive characters. And suddenly it's spoilt by one on-the-face line. While these individual characters didn't work, most of the interconnected relationships were well-developed with just a scene or two. But whatever bit the dialogue-writer lacked, was made up in the way the two protagonists were created.

Of course, kudos to the two actors, one maturing, and one who looks like she was born with fully-developed acting skills. The maturing Ranbir Kapoor will, I guess, be the industry's first candidate for the puppy-look, innocent boy. And yet not boy-next door. I enjoyed bits of their performances more because of how up-close I saw their expressions. Similarly there is this whole list of things that add value due to their absence. And top on my list is the conscious decision of not having that pause, that moment of awkwardness between a boy and a girl because of that hug, that touch. Its handled delicately and with finesse.

We were just getting used to a superficial attitude of making a film about the woman protagonist, but end up seeing the man claim glory. This one is equally Ranbir's and Konkona's. Yes, even though the title of the film contains the protagonist's name.

For a long-long time I've been watching out for a Hindi romantic film where the story is about the lead pair. That's it. Their emotions, their turmoil and nothing else. Love Aaj Kal was close and Wake Up Sid comes even closer. I guess some background noise is inevitable to satisfy our need-more-masala palettes. But, we are growing up as an audience and it's so heartening to see our masala-chef production houses walk hand-in-hand with us.
Pleasures of a preview show, you get to see the cans being off-loaded

- meetu, a part of the audience

Parental Guidance:

Violence: None
Language: Clean
Nudity & Sexual content: A few pub dances. A scene or two with girls talking casually about sex.
Concept: Friendship.
General Look and Feel: Nice and bright though not too many song and dance routines. Not a heavy film.

Detailed Ratings:

Direction: 4
Story: 3.5
Lead Actors: 4
Character Artists: 3

Dialogues: 4
Screenplay: 3
Music Director: 3
Lyrics: 3

What's your rashee? - 7 yays, 33 nays, 5 okays

meetu — Tue, 29 Sep 2009 13:59:01 +0530

Hindi Movies, Comedy, Romance | 8 comments
Running time: 210 minutes

Quick Review

Rating: Watch on DVD - A treat for Piggy Chop fans!

This one is a complete package for Ms. Chopra lovers. The rest - story / songs / execution - all are just about o-kay. And mainly because it requires this WARNING! It is all of 3.5 hours. An option is to treat is as 2 proper length films or 12 short films

45 reviewers have given What's your rashee? an average rating of 1.1/5.0 - 7 thumbs up, 33 thumbs down, and 5 so-so.

Warning: clicking on "full review" will take you to an external website that could contain spoilers.

Thumbs up by Aly Kassam, Bolly Spice ...The fact that Gowariker is able to masterfully integrate each of her characters into the film is Raashee's biggest strength. Alas, like all his films, the running time is seriously trying on the audience who begins to feel their legs going numb after the third hour.... full review

Thumbs down by Khalid Mohamed, aslibaat.com ...the director's heart is in the right place but alas not the head.... full review

Thumbs down by Baradwaj Rangan, Blogical Conclusion, The New Sunday Express ...The other reliable props of Old Bollywood – say, the comedy track (in this case, an excruciating sideshow about a private detective trailing an adulterous husband) – are also major misfires in this typically bloated Gowariker feature... full review

So-So by Suranjana Nandi, Buzz18 ...And Priyanka puts life to each and every one of them. ... full review

Thumbs down by Rajeev Masand, IBN Live ...while Priyanka Chopra throws herself into the challenge, she is let down by a poor script.... full review

Thumbs down by Udita Jhunjhunwala, DNA ...Only the pretty, glam girls appeal to Yogesh, which makes his interaction with each suitor even more unrewarding, shallow and unfunny.... full review

So-So desi hits ...What stretches it is the content within the screenplay; it's dry and the entire plot remains thin... full review

Thumbs up by Deepa Garimella, fullhyd.com ...The wit is smart and subtle. Then, there are a couple of glimpses of Gowariker's pet topics - a little rural stint, and a very angry rant on NRIs.... full review

So-So by Amodini, Amodini's Movie Reviews ...It reminded me of an older genre of movies, of a thoughtful, sedate style of film, albeit extremely stretched. It’s fairly clean, with some very well shot scenes and songs.... full review

Thumbs down by Sonia Chopra, Sify Movies ...Other over-the-top interpretations like the boss-woman with zero emotions are plain annoying... full review

Thumbs down by Critic's I-view, SmasHits.com ...like a plate full of different kinds of sweets served during the Durga Puja festiveal. You want to eat each one of them because they look yummy, but once you start eating them you realize that there is not much difference in one from another. ... full review

Thumbs down by Martin D'Souza, Glamsham.com ...Run for cover, Gowariker! ... full review

Thumbs down by Mayank Shekhar, Hindustan Times ...You may be driven to appreciate Chopra’s performances. Yet, she merely has to caricature her humourless parts; never add any depth to her roles... full review

Thumbs down by Taran Adarsh, IndiaFM ...has some wonderful moments and award-worthy performance[s] by Priyanka Chopra, but everything pales into insignificance when the written material is weak. ... full review

Thumbs up by Subhash K Jha, Now Running.com ...Some of the supporting characters - too broadly parochial to match the narrative's mellow mood - needed to be toned down... full review

Thumbs down by Ashok Nayak, Now Running.com ... WYR has its moments but the story, although innovative and interesting, isn't suited for a big screen adaptation... full review

Thumbs down Indiaglitz ...the film is embellished with some laudable music and cinematography. Couple of songs is feet-tapping while choreography is top-notching.... full review

So-So by Irene Nexica, Planet Bollywood ...with the exception of a couple of cringeworthy film moments, for the most part the film is neither exciting nor dramatic... full review

Thumbs down by Sakshi Juneja, To Each Its Own ...Wow I thought only YSR guys did this. But looks like Ashu too believes in recyling. The doctor chick plot is mini Swades... full review

Thumbs down Apun Ka Choice ...I went in clean shaven, came out with stubble.... full review

Thumbs up by Noyon Jyoti Parasara, AOL INDIA ...The film is not a complete comedy on the lines of the ones made by Hrishikesh Mukherjee. ... full review

Thumbs down by Sampurn, Thai Indian ...Music has always been a strong point of Gowariker’s films here it’s a downer. ... full review

Thumbs down by Bobby Sing, Bobby Talks Cinema.com ...The length is fine when we are watching a movie like “Lagaan” or “Jodha Akbar”, but you cannot make every project close to four hours of duration just for the sake of it... full review

Thumbs up by Darshit, Movies Music and Me ...I liked it for the narration of all Raashee one by one.... full review

Thumbs down The Globe and Mail ...Those looking for exotica won't find it here, unless your criteria includes such nuances as the unusually bright cinematography... full review

Thumbs down by Hanumant Bhansali, Radio Sargam ...As much as the movie appears to be interesting on paper, it equally disappoints on screen... full review

Thumbs down by Shilpa Jamkhandikar, Reuters ...Each character seems like a caricature and instead of providing us with some insights, all we see are superficial traits.... full review

Thumbs down by Sanjukta Sharma, Live Mint ...It is solely Priyanka Chopra who carries off this bizarre hodgepodge of a film... full review

Thumbs down by Janhvi Patel, StarBoxOffice ...Harman Baweja springs a pleasant surprise. It is as much his movie as it is Priyanka’s. He looks good, is lean and fit, and is a decent, expressive actor.... full review

Thumbs down by Kaveree Bamzai, india today ...But Gowariker tries too hard to wring the last drop of romance out of every situation.... full review

Thumbs down by Mihir Fadnavis, o.main_site.name ...After you meet the first two girls, Ares and Aquarius, 'What's your Rashee' becomes a tiring, repetitive piece of goods.... full review

Thumbs down by Avijit Ghosh, Times of India ...The movie's first hour is also its most entertaining. Not that the movie degenerates thereafter, it merely gets repetitive and wears you down. ... full review

Thumbs down Indicine ...But what unfolds in the last 20 odd minutes has to be one of the most stupid and unconvincing climaxes ever.... full review

Thumbs up Movie Talkies ...Priyanka through the smallest nuances and behavioural traits ensures that even in such short screen time, each girl has a well defined overall personality and that each girl is independent of the other... full review

Thumbs down by Anupama Chopra, NDTV ... Making riveting cinema out of 12 similar encounters is a Herculean task for any director. But perhaps even more so for Ashutosh Gowarikar whose strengths as a storyteller seem more suited to 70 mm epics than romantic comedy... full review

Thumbs down real bollywoood ...The story becomes so predictable in the second half that you wait for the movie to get over and start counting how many signs are still left... full review

Thumbs down by Nova, The World As I See It ...She was very good when playing modern characters, while when depicting orthodox girls with accent, she would falter every once in a while. Great effort, nonetheless!... full review

Thumbs down by Rajesh, Upper Stall ...Darshan Jariwala hams his way through, Anjan Srivastav just seems clueless when he’s not speaking... full review

Thumbs down by SpiceZee Bureau, ZEENEWS.COM ...Hurman, who apparently had a lot to do in the film, simply doesn’t have the acting skills to pull it off. ... full review

Thumbs down by Aditya Mani Jha, Passion for Cinema ...Harman Baweja mostly sleepwalks through the film, but manages to look better than he actually is... full review

So-So by Sukanya Verma, Rediff ...A terrific ensemble cast from the world of television and theatre collaborate to its feel-good believability which lasts as long as their screen time.... full review

Thumbs down by Gaurav Malani, indiatimes ...There are dollops of humour in the writing and Hurman’s perfect timing complements the antics of Priyanka’s characters... full review

Thumbs down by Raghav, Talking Popcorns ...The movie fails to take off and the plot of the movie does not really convince you at any level. ... full review

Thumbs down by Bob Nelson, Variety ...Two or three peppy songs prove woefully insufficient to sustain a 3?-hour trifle, however good-looking.... full review

Thumbs up by Vatsal Rathod, Mota Blog ...Actually its a funny take on the believers in horoscope, situation of dowry, blind rush for NRI grooms and many more things... full review

What's your rashee? - Review

meetu — Fri, 25 Sep 2009 18:56:59 +0530

Hindi Movies, Romance, Comedy | 8 comments
Running time: 210 minutes

Quick Review

Rating: Watch on DVD - A treat for Piggy Chop fans!

Let's get the obvious complaint out of the way. What's you Rashee? is long, super-long, super-duper long. No. Just "super-duper long" wouldn't be enough. It needed that build-up, it's that long! AND despite that, it's not an outright bad film, but it keeps it from being an "undoubtedly great" one. Oh, well…

Let' get the second-most obvious thing about the film. This time a sure positive one. PRIYANKA CHOPRA. I'm usually more than okay with people not agreeing with my opinion of a film/performance/etc. But, I will be really surprised if there are more than meager handfuls who won't like Priyanka Chopra in this film. I had enough guys going *siggggh* and gals going *wow* (including me) every time she was on screen. Her performance(s) were brilliant one charming character after another.

The third-most…Gotchya! You didn't think I was giving you a list of top 12 things about What's your rashee?, were you? But if I were to do that I'd guarantee, each paragraph sounded and talked about different things. Which is not what the 12 Priyanka characters do here. Yes, almost each of the 12 characters is charming, and a couple of them are very different from the norm. But the rest follow a format. There's something they want their groom-to-be or not-to-be to know and each Priyanka's 10 minutes of screen-time revolves around that issue. And this is extremely interesting for the first few times and obviously tiring after that. And the two that are different are too exaggerated to be true.

Which is pretty much true of the entire story-line too. But the basic premise has been forgiven since we are already there to watch the film, right? And despite that we are asked for more. We have to accept the dad's selfishness and the brother's foolishness, the silly pundit and weird uncle, the prop sister-in-law and the I'm-here-to-lengthen-the-film aunt.

Ooops! I almost forgot Harman Baweja. I surprise myself when I want to say, I think this guy can do well. He needs a chance where he's not over-shadowed by his *star* co-star. But, this one is all about the woman, right? Wrong.

My issue with these so-called women-oriented films is also that they are well "so-called". While each one of the characters is today's girl with a mind of her own, it looks superficial. Because, she's still out for the man's support in needing what she wants and each one's approach is convoluted. And if there was ever a "throw me around from one guy to the other, how do I care which man I want to get married to", this is the one. Wait for the climax to react to this comment.

This is what the writer's thinking process looks like.

"Yo! Priyanka Chopra is one helluva actor. She needs a film that revolves under her character."

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"But, we don't know how to write women-centric stories. Damn! That too for someone with a *star* stature."

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"Let's go through options that we can explore. 7 days of the week, naah - sounds ridiculous. 31 days of the month - way too many. So 365 days a year is out of the question….hmmm…"

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** Research - research - research ** (am I giving too much credit? Well, the same man made the supposedly extensively researched Jodhaa Akbar, didn't he? Anyway...

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"Hey, look here's this Gujrati novel Kimball Ravenswood by Madhu Rye. Yay! Jackpot And they made a TV series out of the same theme and it was pretty popular, remember? Mr. Yogi? "

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"Done, then! Since we've to get Priyanka to act real well, and she'll sell. The director can leave the rest of the cast to do their own thing, snort, fart, smile, whine, whatever. And he can focus on just the lady."

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"Hey, wait! 12 girls one after the other without a break will become monotonous. Let's throw in a couple of side-stories. Which ones? Don't matter. Say a Don theme and an extra-marital affair theme. It'll just break the flow for a bit. Doesn't sound good? I said "Don't matter!!" It don't matter even if we don't give them a closure. You just watch…"

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"What else? It's masala no? We need songs. How many? Of course 12! Can't have any less, what if any one of Bhavna, Hansa, Anjali, Chandrika, Sanjana, etc, etc, etc feel bad? Can't risk that!"

And so we have what we have. An extremely mediocre product if it were not for Ms. Piggy Chops. True, the songs are nice, very well-picturized and different too. But after the 3rd one it gets a little blah! And when there are so many, songs with lip-sync involved they sound repetitious too.

Gone are the days Mr. Gowariker when the Hindi film audience thought found their money's worth only if the film touched the 180-minute mark. Rest assured we, the audience, won't think any less of you if your movie doesn't move the average run-time of films around the world by a notch.

Yet, it's not boring. So, viewers will be better equipped to handle its length at home with the luxury of the "fast forward" switch at their disposal for the non-Priyanka parts, of course. Oh yeah and the opening credits are one of the best I've seen in Hindi films!

- meetu, a part of the audience

Parental Guidance:

Violence: None
Language: Clean
Nudity & Sexual content: Skimpy clothes worn by women in some parts. But not too much of that going around.
Concept: A man looking for a girl to get married to, the arranged marriage way. But, the women have tones of secrets from their family. And that is kind of glorified.
General Look and Feel: Bright, peppy, colorful…and long!

Detailed Ratings:

Direction: 2.5
Story: 2
Lead Actors: 5
Character Artists: 1

Dialogues: 2
Screenplay: 2
Music Director: 2.5
Lyrics: 3