WITNESSHK STORY TIME RECAP – Real people. Real Stories. Our City. On stage.
WITNESSHK STORY TIME 回顧 – 真人。真故事。我們的都市。搬上了舞台。

The first WitnessHK Story Time was a grand success and we have all of you to thank for it. Over 70 guests sat in for an afternoon of storytelling from people of all walks of life. From a 17 year old discovering that her identity didn’t lie in her achievements to stories of love and family written by God, we enjoyed sharing testimonies on our lives and celebrating life and what we are most grateful for. We also enjoyed special performances from talented musicians.

We thank you for your support. If you couldn’t make it this time, we hope you can join us for the next one!

Special thanks to Jessica, Carmen and Silas for capturing the great moments in the pictures on our Facebook here.

WitnessHK第一次舉辦的Story Time見證分享會非常成功，我們為此在這裡感謝您們。這一次見證分享會超過70位觀眾前來分享來自各行各業的見證。透過不同的見證，包括一位17歲學生如何發現成就不足以界定她的身份以及神所寫的愛情和家庭故事，我們很高興能跟大家一起慶祝生命的奇妙以及我們所感恩的一切。我們也有幸欣賞才華漫溢的歌手為我們準備的特別演出。

我們非常感謝您們的支持。如果您錯過了這個分享會，我們希望您下次能夠參與！

特別鳴謝Jessica、Carmen和Silas為我們捕捉了一些精彩的時刻，分享會的照片已刊登在我們的Facebook 網頁。

Have you ever had a DTR?

Our good friend and WitnessLA contributor Jason Chu just released this hilarious and fun music video take on the ups and downs of Christian dating.

There are definitely some great laughs in it, but there are also some thoughtful ideas on how, as Believers, we should approach dating.  At what point do you ask God about someone you’re interested in?  Does He get a say in your dating life?

你曾經有過要DTR(界定關係)的經歷嗎？

我們的好友，WitnessLA 的要員，Jason Chu 剛剛發了這個關於基督徒約會的高與低的有趣的音樂短片。

這短片裡固然有很多笑點，但這裡面也有不少值得基督徒思考關於我們身為基督徒該如何處理約會的這個課題。什麼時候你會詢問神有關於那個你喜歡的人？祂在你的戀愛生活有話事權嗎？

For Chinese subtitles, hover your mouse pointer over the closed caption (cc or “Captions”) button on the bottom right of the video player and select “Chinese”
如想開啓中文字幕，請將游標移至影片播放器右下角的隱藏式輔助字幕 (cc或 “Captions”) 按鈕，然後選擇“中文”

(Reposted from WitnessLA // 從 WitnessLA 轉載)

JOIN US for an afternoon of storytelling from people of all walks of life. We will be sharing powerful stories about hope, family, love, living out passions and finding community. Most importantly, it will be an afternoon of celebrating life and what we are most thankful for.

Date: April 27, 2013 (Saturday)
Time: 3-6pm
Venue: 2/F, 633 King’s Road, Quarry Bay (MTR Exit C)
**while our site is bilingual, this will be an English event

Friends and family of all ages are welcome!

Please RSVP at https://www.facebook.com/events/313385985457056/

See you there!

With tears streaming down my face, I waved goodbye to my BFF and her husband. I’ve spent about 2 and a half months with them in LA and time flew by. We’ve had a ball of a time eating farm-to-table food and reliving the good old days when we were housemates. The time I’ve spent with her and her husband was like a spiritual spa and I was very reluctant to leave to go back to the real world.

As I was boarding, I noticed that the check-in staff assigned me an aisle seat which I am not a big fan of. I prefer window seats where I get to sink into my seat, cuddle up and lean on the window for a good night’s sleep. It was a good 15-hour flight and I needed to be comfortable. So I decided to speak to the boarding staff at the gate so that they could reassign me to a window seat but a feeling stopped me as I was heading towards the boarding counter. It was a strange sensation and I felt that I had to be on the aisle seat for a reason.

Well, it was a pretty uncomfortable flight for me. I was woken up a few times by passengers and the flight attendants who walked passed me. I was getting grumpier by the second but somehow I managed to fall asleep after the lights dimmed and the aisle traffic slowed.

Usually during such long haul flights, I would make small conversations with passengers next to me. This trip, I was in no such mood. However, I felt that I should speak to the lady next to me but I was determined to just wallow in my grumpiness.

When the plane was about to land, I felt the Lord telling me to comfort the lady next to me about her daughter. I was like, “Are you kidding me, Lord? I thought you could read my mind. I’m in no mood to talk to anyone now.” Besides, she might think I’m a weirdo or a con-woman. I struggled with the Lord for a bit and I knew we were running out of time as the plane was preparing to land.

Then I remembered a sermon pastor Steve Chua gave a few weeks ago where he said that Jesus was in perfect communion with the Lord that when the Lord asked Jesus to talk to strangers about their personal lives, Jesus would not hesitate because he knew that His Father would never embarrass Him in public. As I was still struggling, I felt the Lord say “Serene, didn’t you say you would do anything for me? If I can’t trust you with this, how can I give you more?” I felt convicted. By that time, my palms were burning and my hands were shaking.

So I turned to the lady next to me. She seemed to be sleeping. We had not spoken at all during the flight. I knew if I did not speak to her then, I would lose the courage to do so quickly. So I tapped her on her shoulder and quickly mumbled in Cantonese, “Aunty, I feel that you are very worried about your daughter but the Lord wants me to tell you that she will be fine. Pray for her and bring her to church.” I was half expecting a hiss of “Chee-sin” (crazy!) or “Choi!” (something Chinese say to ward off bad luck), but instead, I saw her eyes grew wide and she asked me, “How did you know?” With tears in my eyes, I said “My God told me so”. She then started to tell me her daughter’s story and why she was so worried about her. She also said that her sister in LA had also been praying for her daughter and telling her to bring her daughter to church. I told her I would be back in HK in mid-January and I gave her my number for her to call me if she needed me to bring her daughter to church.

At that moment, I felt tears welling up in my eyes even more. It was such a privilege to be a part of this woman and her daughter’s story. I felt that conversation somehow showed her that there is someone out there who is bigger than all of us and that someone is looking out for her, that He cares, He really does and I was sent as an agent of hope to pass His message of love along. I saw a new glimmer of hope in her eyes as she thanked me and waved goodbye to me.

She hasn’t called me yet but I am sure God is still working in their lives. I am writing this testimony as an encouragement for us to lend a hand or spread a word of hope to those around us, especially when we hear a stirring in our hearts for someone around us. It could touch someone’s life. It could lead them to the Lord.

我一邊哭著、一邊揮手跟我最好的朋友和她的丈夫說再見。我在洛杉磯和他們共渡了兩個半月，時間一轉眼就過去了。從吃到美味的農家菜到再次體驗像我們以前一起住的生活，我們都過得很開心。我跟他們夫妻倆過的時光就好像在一個屬靈的溫泉，我是多麼的不願意離開回去現實的生活呀。

登機的時候，我發現地勤人員幫我安排到我最不喜歡的走道旁位子。我比較喜歡能讓我靠著窗好好睡一覺的窗口位。這程飛機是整整十五個小時，我特別需要找到一個舒服的座位。所以我決定找閘口的工作人員要求他們幫我安排窗口位置，但是當我走向登機櫃台的時候，我心裡有一個感覺阻止我。那是一個很奇怪的感覺，我感到我被安排到走道旁位置是有原因的。

不用多說，我在那程飛機上不能好好休息，我被經過的乘客和空中服務員吵醒了好幾次。時間一秒一秒地過去，我就一秒一秒地變得更煩躁，當燈光變暗、走道上的人流也減少後，我才慢慢睡着。

通常在長途旅程中，我都會跟身旁的乘客閒話家常。這一次，我根本沒這樣的心情。雖然我有感覺我應該跟身旁的女士講話，但是我決心把自己淹沒在煩躁的心情當中。

飛機即將降落，我感到神叫我去安撫身旁的女士關於她女兒的事情。我在想：「神，不是吧？我還以為你能看透我，我現在完全沒有心情去跟任何一個人談話。」何況，她可能會覺得我是一個怪人或騙子。我跟神掙扎了一會，我知道距離飛機降落已經沒多少時間了。

我忽然想起 Steve Chua 牧師幾個禮拜前的講道，他說耶穌跟神處於完美的共融，每當神叫耶穌跟陌生人談及他們的私人生活，耶穌從來沒有猶豫，因為耶穌知道神永遠不會在公眾場所令他尷尬。當我在掙扎的時候，我感覺神對我說：「 Serene ，你不是說你會為我做任何事嗎？如果你連就這件事也不能相信我，我怎能再給你其他機會呢？」這個信念打動了我。那個時候，我的手心已經開始冒汗、手也在顫抖。

所以，我轉身面向坐在我旁的女士，她好像睡着了。我們全程都沒有談過話。我知道要是我不趁機會跟她說，我很快就會失去勇氣了。我輕輕拍了她的肩膀一下，然後就用廣東話像喃喃自語般說：「太太，我感覺到你很擔心你的女兒，但是神叫我告訴你她會沒事的。為她禱告，並帶她到教會吧。」我已有心理準備她可能會罵我神經病或說「啋」（香港人用來趕走厄運的字眼），但我反而看到她瞪大眼睛並問我：「你怎麼知道的？」我含著淚說：「是我的神告訴我的。」她隨後告訴我她女兒的故事以及她那麼擔心女兒的原因。她還說她那住在洛杉磯的妹妹也叫她帶女兒去教會。我告訴她我在一月中會搬回香港，我把電話號碼給了她並歡迎她在需要我幫忙帶她女兒去教會時給我來電。

當時，我已熱淚滿眶，我感到非常榮幸能成為這女士和她女兒的故事的一部份。我覺得那對話在某程度上讓那女士知道世上有一位比我們所有人都要大的神，而那神會照顧她、關心她，而我就是神所派來傳遞祂愛的訊息的希望使者。當她向我道謝和揮手道別的時候，我在她眼裡看到一絲新的希望。

她還沒有給我來電，但是我很肯定神仍然在她們的生命裡作工。我寫這見證是想鼓勵我們大家去幫忙身邊的人或與他們分享充滿希望的訊息，特別是在我們聽到心底裡那小小的聲音觸動我們心弦的時候。因為這樣做或許會感動別人的生命，也或許能帶領他們更靠近神。

Featured image credit: flickr.com/mennovdhorst

Introduction

Brett:We are Brett and Shannon Hilliard and we are originally from the United States. We’ve been in Hong Kong almost twelve years.

Shannon: Yeah, crazy!

B: We came here to pastor Island ECC. We have been married for almost 24 years. We’ve got four kids ages 18, 16, 13 and 11, so life is busy but good.

S: When I got married, my friends accused me of getting married just to have children. Because I was a pediatric nurse and I love children, I wanted to have about seven. Soon after we got married, we started trying to have children. Six years into it, it became apparent that we weren’t going to be able to have any biological children.Yet because we had lived in China and taught there and knew about the plight of Chinese girls over there, it had always been in our plan to adopt.We just didn’t know that we would never have any biological ones.

B: In hindsight, I am glad we don’t have biological children. There’s no regret for me at all. I love my four kids so much and I would never want for there to ever be any of them to think I love one more than the other and this levels it all out so that they see themselves as God’s perfect gifts – not a plan B or a worse case or a fallback plan but just God’s wanting the very best for us was to bring the six of us together and create this family. So it has been great!

God’s Perfect Timing

S: I do want to back up though because I think we’re painting infertility as if it’s not a painful thing that doesn’t cause conflict in your marriage or even conflict with the Lord. There were times when we were really begging for children, thinking, “Why?”I mean, it seems like it’s not a selfish thing to want to be able to have children. So there were certain days that were definitely long and we grieved so much. We read a book several years ago by Philip Yancy called ‘Disappointment with God’ because there certainly was a deep sadness – at least for myself at the time – that I couldn’t have children. It’s definitely a painful road for anyone else going through it. My real desire was to be a mother,so however God wanted to provide for that, I wanted it to happen immediately.When we first started trying, we were in Guangzhou, China and there were no fertility doctors.We rode our bikes to talk to someone about adoption and we were only 27 at the timeand they laughed at us because you need to be at least 35 before you could adopt in China.So all these doors were shutting in my face. We asked God questions like, “Why can’t we adopt? Why can’t we have biological children?” Those were hard years.

B: There’s a proverb that says, “hope deferred makes the heart sick” and that was something that was really meaningful to us at the time because we wanted to be parents THEN and God was telling us,“not now, maybe not EVER but definitely not at the moment.”And I think there’s a sickness, a sadness that comes with that. Asking God, “okayGod, where are You going? I trust You but I don’t know.” But then in hindsight, you could look to see more clearly and we saw God nurturing our hearts, disciplining us along the way and teaching us to cling to God. When certain circumstances don’t feel good, God still is good. And deepening our faith through the whole thing, which is a great redemptive side of that. That’s what He does in any disappointment, whether it’s waiting for marriage, waiting for kids, the breakup of a marriage or any of those disappointments, God wants to deepen our faith.  So that was one of the silver linings. That doesn’t mean there’s no pain, there’s still plenty of that but God kind of puts a balm on it to make it all a little better.

S:So when Brett pastors young couples, he often says to them that there’s a part in your heart that your husband can never fill.  God leaves room in your heart for girlfriends and yourself.  [As I was coping with the waiting for children,] I found a girlfriend who was heartbroken over a broken engagement. And she became my walking prayer buddy. We prayed together for about two years and the redemptive beautiful thing that happened in our lives was the day she got married was the day Abby, our eldest, was born.That was the day I found out I would be a mom. So all in one day, I was able to see her get married and run through the airport in my velvet long dress to go meet my baby. That’s the handprint of God.

B: The enemy loves to divide marriages – to cause husbands and wives to be pitted against eachother, blaming or resenting, emotional energy to be spent on this. You have to really guard your marriage.  To make sure that you don’t get so fixated on fixing the problem that you forget to nurture the gift that comes with just having the marriage. I remember thinking, “okay, if our lives were just us, that’s okay! That’s still a beautiful thing.”

From A-Z…

B:Each of our kids is a walking trophy of God’s faithfulness and God has shown Himself through us in the different circumstances for the adoption of our kids.

I was in grad school at the time when we were looking into adopting our first child and I remember going to the adoption seminar and learning that the average cost at that time was $20,000 and a two-year wait if you wanted a healthy infant. I was in seminary and I think I had $20. And I just remembered thinking,“There was no way. How are we going to ever afford to adopt?” And God provided through a private adoption. A mother wanted to put her child in a Christian home. 18 months later, we got another phone call that asked, “Would you be interested in adopting again?”They wanted to have a couple whowere not first-time parents. We prayed and said yes.

S: The crazy thing about the phone call is…now that we’re very happy with our four children, we joke that there’s a specific date that we should not answer the phone. Because if the phone rings on that day and we pick up, we would have to adopt the baby.

B:Basically, both the phone calls for our first two children came on June 13. God doesn’t always work like that and we have to be careful about reading too much into signs but C.S. Lewis said, “For Christians, there are no circumstances outside of God’s control. There are no coincidences.” For us, it was enough to nudge us to think, “okay, God wanted us to adopt” and it was just a way for Him to build our faith and to say, “Okay, this is in God’s design.”

For our third child, Mary Grace, someone anonymously wrote us a Christmas card a couple years later and said,“We heard you were interested in adopting overseas and we would love to pay for it.” We already had two babies and we were like, “Wait, hold on a minute! This is now too fast!”

So we wrote back and said, “Can we wait a year?” and they said yes. A year later, we went through with the procedure for adopting Mary Grace and our anonymous donor paid for everything and to this day, we still don’t know who they are.

With Zane, we were already here in Hong Kong with three kids and having three kids in Hong Kong is like having eight kids in America.

S: And by then I had already gone back to work full-time.So we had been at a beach party and I was with Abby and Mary Grace when they started saying, “We should get another child! Our home is so fun and cool; we need to adopt another orphan!” And Mary Grace said, “I want another sibling from China! I don’t want to be the only Chinese in my family” and I said “Honey, why don’t you just pray about it,” not even thinking anything and it wasn’t until two days later when a phone call came [about the adoption for Zane]. And it didn’t even come through to us. It went to our home. Our girls got the phone call. So they were already jumping up and down, talking about how God answered their prayers.

B: So while we were out on a date, Mother’s Choice orphanage called us.

S: And they don’t do this, they don’t normally call people.

B: And we had no paperwork filed, no application pending. But Mother’s Choice called and asked, “Would you be interested in adoption? We have this boy that needs a home.” We were blown away by that and looked at the calendar: it was June 13 when we got the call.

God loves orphans and he settles the child with the right family. We would have been okay to move on with three kids but God nudged us to go beyond what we were comfortable with and we didn’t realize this but we also needed Zane. So that was what led us to adopting Zane. And now we’re done.

S: Yeah, don’t call us on June 13 anymore![laughs]

B: Part of the reason why our eldest is named Abby and our youngest is Zane is that we got A-Z. That’s kind of my way of saying “we’re done.”

A New Definition for Family

B: I grew up in a family of three boys. My brothers and I look similar, act similar and play the same sports and our family places a big emphasis on bloodlines and how Hilliards are this way and Hilliards are that way. So, when you bring in children outside of that, naturally, the family had questions.

S: And thinking we’re crazy, right?

B:It’s crazy because it’s a risk. But life is a risk, having a child is a risk. And there are those who choose to have a sanitary, safe life. If so, then good luck with that but God doesn’t promise a safe life, He promises a life with Him and it’s an adventure. So we wanted our lives to be counter-cultural and a statement and a beacon of light. We want our lives to say something and to be remarkable in a way for you to go “Whoa.” We walk around with a redhead and two Chinese – not your typical-looking family.

Our kids have always known they were adopted. They’ve always known that’s how God created their lives. We explain,“Mommy and daddy are not blood-related but we choose to marry and love each other and you and I are not blood-related but we’re family.”God does family in a lot of ways and this is the way we’ve been blessed with and we wouldn’t have it any other way. Biblically, adoption is sprinkled throughout scripture. Jesus was adopted by Joseph. Moses was adopted. These are great biblical examples. There’s also this great metaphor that we were adopted by God. So there’s no shame in saying that our children were adopted. I think it’s an incredible path to walk in, to do it with Shannon and to parent these wildly different children.

For a long marriage to thrive, there’s got to be more than chemistry and attraction because there’s going to be a whole lot of unexpected things and you want to be able to look and see character and depth and the heart that is focused on the same things you are focused on.

We would have never been able to see where our marriage would take us, from adopting our children to moving to Hong Kong but through it all, it has been such an adventure.  The character that we saw in each other has been the foundation, the cement that has kept us grounded. We know what God feels about us and says about us and each other. Some days, we feel it and some days we don’t. But it’s a choice. That choice is something we make every day – to stay in the marriage andto say,“We’re in it for the long haul. And God will provide for us.”

介紹

Brett: 我們是Brett 和 Shannon Hilliard 。我們來自美國，但是我們已在香港住了12年了。

Shannon: 對的，瘋狂！

B: 我們來香港是為了在 Island ECC 當牧師。我們已經結婚差不多24年了。我們有四個孩子，他們分別是18, 16, 13 和 11歲，雖然我們的生活很繁忙，但我們過得很好。

S: 當我結婚的時候，我的朋友都說我是為了生孩子才結婚的。因為我是一個兒科護士，而且我很愛小孩，我當時希望有七個小孩。我們結婚後沒多久，我們就嘗試生小孩。六年過去了，我們不能生小孩的事實逐漸變得明顯。當時我們住在中國，在那裡教書，所以我們知道當地女嬰的困境，我們一直也有計劃去領養。我們想不到的是我們永遠也不能有親生孩子。

B: 回頭再看，我們很高興我們沒有親生孩子。這對我來講絕對不是一個遺憾。我很愛我的四個孩子，我永遠也不希望他們任何一個覺得我不是同樣地愛他們每一個。他們都是領養的，所以他們看待自己為神給我們的完美禮物－不是後備計劃，而是神為了把我們六個人聚在一起成為家人的完美計劃。這一切都很棒！

神完美的安排

S: 我想澄清我們不是要把不育美化成一件不痛苦而且對我們的婚姻與神的關係沒有衝突的一件事。有許多次我們懇切地求孩子，然後想，「為什麼？」我的意思是想有孩子應該不是一件自私的事情，所以那些日子對於我們來説是很漫長和哀傷的。幾年前我們讀了一本由Philip Yancy 寫的，叫“對神的失望”的書，因爲當時對我來説，不能有孩子令我真的在很深的傷痛中。對任何人來説這肯定也是一條很痛苦的路。我真正的渴望是成爲一個母親，所以無論神如何爲此準備，我想它立刻就成真。當我們剛開始嘗試時，我們在中國廣州，那裏沒有任何不育科的醫生。我們又踏腳踏車去問其他人關於領養孩子的事情，當時我們只有27歲，所以他們就笑我們，因爲在中國要35歲以上才可以領養孩子。故此我們面前所有的機會之門通通都關上。我們問神許多問題，譬如說，「為什麼我們不可以領養孩子？為什麼我們不可以擁有我們親生的孩子？」那些年很難過。

B: 常言道：「心會隨著希望一直落空而生病」，這句話對於當時的我們非常有意思。因爲當時我們想成爲父母，而神卻告訴我們：「不是現在，可能永遠都不行，但一定不是現在。」我想那時隨之而來的是難受和悲傷。我問神：「好！神！你要去哪裏？我相信你，但我不知道。」但事後當你看得更清晰時，我看到神一直在養育我們的心、訓練我們、教導我們緊緊地跟著神。有時候當環境感覺不好，神依然是好的。透過事情叫我們的信心深化，其實這是一個偉大的救贖。這就是神在我們失望時會做的，無論是期待婚姻、期待生孩子、婚姻破裂或者是其他失落中，神都想使我們的信心更堅固。所以這也是困苦中的樂事。這不等於沒有痛苦，當中會有一些痛苦但神會安慰，令到事情好一點點。

S: 所以當Brett 牧養年輕情侶時，他常常跟他們說：「你們心內會有一個地方你的丈夫永遠不能夠獲得滿足。神在你們的心內為了你的女性朋友和你自己留了一些位置。」[當我在嘗試著應對等待有孩子的時候，] 我認識了一個剛剛因爲被悔訂婚而心碎的女性朋友，而她也成爲了與我一起散步祈禱的夥伴。我們一起祈禱了兩年，然後美妙的救贖就發生在我們身上，她結婚那天就是我的第一個孩子 Abby 出生的日子。當天就是我被告知我會成爲母親的日子。所以在一天內，我不但能見證了她的婚禮，我還穿著我的絲絨禮服跑到機場去見我的孩子。這就是神作工的手印。

B: 敵人很喜歡把婚姻拆散 – 令到丈夫和妻子之間有傷痕、互相指責與怨恨，把感情的能量都訴諸這裡。你們真的要守護你們的婚姻。確保你們不會一直只顧處理問題，而忘記了去珍惜擁有婚姻這個祝福。我常常想：「如果我們的生命裡就只有我們夫妻倆也可以！這依然是一件美麗的事情。」

從 A 到 Z ……

B: 我們的每一個孩子都是證明神是信實的活生生例子。神在我們領養孩子的種種情況當中揭示了祂的信實。

當我在讀研究生的時候，我們打算領養我們第一個小孩。我記得從參加領養研討會得知領養的平均費用是兩萬美金，而如果我們想領養一個健全的孩子就需要等兩年。我當時在神學院，現款大概有二十美金。我記得當時自己想：「沒可能。我們怎能負擔得起領養的費用？」其後神透過私人領養回答我，藉著一位母親希望基督教的家庭領養她的孩子。十八個月後，我們收到一通電話問：「你們有興趣再領養一個小孩嗎？」這一次，這對父母希望領養的人不是第一次當父母。我們禱告，然後祂答應了。

S: 瘋狂的是那通電話⋯⋯我們現在對於有四個孩子非常開心，我們講笑說在某一個指定的日子，我們不能接電話。因為如果電話響了而我們又接聽了，我們又要多領養一個小孩。

B: 基本上，聯絡我們關於領養我們頭兩個孩子的電話都是發生在六月十三號。神的作工不是常常也這樣的，我們要小心不要把所有的巧合都當作神的揭示，但是C.S. Lewis曾說 ：「對於基督徒來講，沒有任何情況是在神的控制以外的。世上沒有巧合。」對於當時的我們來講，那巧合足夠促使我們去想：「嗯，神想我們去領養這小孩」，而這也是祂增強我們信仰的方法，並說「對的，這就是神的安排。」。

至於我們的第三個孩子 Mary Grace，是兩年後有位匿名者給我們發了一張聖誕卡說：「我們聽說你有興趣在海外領養，我們希望能夠為你付所需費用。」我們當時已有兩個嬰兒，我們想：「等一下，這一切都來得太快了！」

所以我們回信說：「我們能夠等一年嗎？」他們說好。一年後，我們辦好領養Mary Grace的程序，而我們匿名的捐贈者為我們支付了所有的費用。直到今天，我們還是不知道他們是誰。

至於 Zane，我們跟三個小孩當時已搬到香港。在香港養三個小孩等於在美國養八個。

S: 當時，我已重投全職工作。有一天，我們在一個海灘派對，Abby 和 Mary Grace 開始嚷著說：「我們應該多領養一個小孩！我們的家庭太好玩和太酷了；我們需要多領養一個孤兒！」Mary Grace 更說：「我想要一個來自中國的弟妹！我不想當家裡唯一一個中國人。」我回答說：「寶貝，那你們就為此禱告吧。」當時我也沒多想，可是兩天後，關於領養 Zane 的電話就響了。那通電話不是我們接聽的。電話是打到家裡的，是我們的女兒接聽。所以她們開心得蹦來蹦去，說著神回應了她們的禱告。

B: 我們當天出去約會了，母親的抉擇的孤兒院打電話給我們。

S: 他們一般都不會這樣，他們不會打電話給人的。

B: 我們沒有遞交任何文件或申請表。但是母親的抉擇打電話來問：「你們對領養有興趣嗎？我們有一個男孩需要一個家庭。」我們對於這消息驚嘆得無言，我們看一下日曆：我們收到電話的那天又是六月十三號。

神愛孤兒，而祂會把小孩安排到適合的家庭。我們對於有三個小孩已經很高興了，但是神好像在叫我們走出我們的安全地帶，我們當時沒察覺到其實我們也需要Zane。這就是我們最後為何領養Zane的原因。現在我們完成了。

S: 對呀，不要再在六月十三號打電話給我們了！[笑]

B: 我們把最年長的孩子改名為 Abby 和我們最小的孩子改名為 Zane 是因為我們從A到Z都有了。我也想透過這樣去說：「我們的家庭已完整了」。

家庭的新定義

B: 我在一個有三個男生的家庭長大。我的兄弟和我長得很像，動靜也很像，我們甚至於連運動也玩同一種。我們的家庭很注重血統和姓氏，姓Hilliard 的就要怎樣和怎樣。可想而知，當你把沒血緣的孩子進入這個大家庭的時候，我們的家人很自然地會有疑問。

S: 他們覺得我們瘋掉了，不是嗎？

B: 真的有點瘋狂，因為這是個風險。但人生就是個風險，有小孩就是一個風險。世上有些人選擇過著沒風險、安全的人生。如果是這樣，我只好說祝你好運，因為神從沒有對我們承諾過安全的一生，祂承諾和我們一起過人生，而這人生是一個冒險。所以我們希望我們的人生不受文化傳統的限制，成為社區裡的航標燈。我們希望透過我們的人生去發表一種態度，讓你覺得「嘩」。我們當中有一個紅髮女孩，還有兩個中國小孩－不是你所見一般的家庭。

我們的孩子一直都知道他們是被領養的。他們一直都知道這是神為他們創造的生命。我們跟孩子說：「媽咪和爹地沒有血緣關係，但是我們選擇去結婚、去愛對方，而你和我沒有血緣關係，但我們是一家人。」神創造各種各樣的家庭，而我們的家庭就是這樣蒙福被創造的，這對我們來講沒有其他更好的了。在聖經裡，領養這事情散播在經文的不同角落。約瑟收養耶蘇，摩西也是被收養的。這些都是聖經裡偉大的例子。不要忘記還有我們都是被神領養的這個比喻。所以，我們對於公開我們的孩子都是被領養的這事一點都不覺得羞愧。我覺得這是個奇妙的旅程，跟 Shannon 的一個旅程，去當這些孩子的父母。

要讓一段婚姻長久美滿，化學作用和互相吸引是不足夠的，因為你們的人生會有很多意想不到的事情，而在這些情況下，你需要能夠看到對方的性格、內心有著和你一樣的焦點。

我們從沒想過我們的婚姻為我們帶來的種種，從領養孩子到搬到香港，這簡直是一個大冒險。我們從彼此身上看到的性格態度成為我們婚姻的地基。我們知道神是怎樣看待我們自己和對方。有些日子，我們感覺到，但也有些日子，我們感覺不到。但這是一個選擇。這是我們每天都決定作出的選擇－去留在這段婚姻裡並說：「我們選擇踏上這長途的旅程。神自會為我們準備一切。」

Featured image credit: flickr.com/28798135@N07

One of my favorite authors, Henri Nouwen wrote a book called “The Return of the Prodigal Son” based on his contemplation of Rembrandt’s painting of the same name which hangs in The Hermitage in St. Petersburg.  As the son returns to his father, he is welcomed by a loving embrace depicted in the painting: muscular, intentional, affirming and holding, on the left side.  On the other, the touch is different: gentle, caressing, light, tender, comforting, even elegant.  Both are covering; both are protective. It all begins with the hands, masculine and feminine. Both complete the family which is where we find home.

We all long to come home.  Whether if it’s after a long day of classes, or an eventful work day, or even a day at an amusement park, by the end of the day we just want to rest and be at peace.  Sometimes it helps to lean on someone and tell them about the good, the bad and the ugly.  All it takes is someone to say “Everything’s going to be O.K.”  That’s what family is for, regardless of how imperfect it is.  Family goes through cycles in life, riding through the ups and downs but nothing will stop us from celebrating victories, persevering through trials, and hoping for dreams together.  Not only is this true for my family but also in God’s family, the greater community where we learn to serve as Christ served.

My husband, Gary and I have been married for 21 years now, journeying along in God’s adventure.  We have very different styles in the way we perceive and do things and nothing draws more spirited dialogue than a discussion about raising our own children.  Maybe this is what keeps our family life colorful.  He helps troubleshoot my IT issues; I try to help him understand his dreams from the night before.  I’ll confirm a hunch he has, and he’ll help me decide blue or red.  What he loves the most, though, is when he hears me gasping for air because I’m laughing so hard at his jokes.  What I love the most is when we can hold hands walking down a fairway during a golf game.

What unites our hearts as husband and wife beyond our own biological family is God’s family.  I have been given so much, God’s love, His provision, His freedom, His healing.  When I frequently remind myself of this truth, my heart is so overwhelmed, it overflows.  As partners, we want to reach out to others to be God’s family.  We love to dive into God’s word and let God expand our minds in the knowledge of Him.  We yearn to receive His promises and learn to walk with courage in obedience. We want to practice what we know, live authentically, lift each other up, be accountable to one another, all the while, modeling for the next generation what partnership in Christian marriage looks like.  We are by no means near-perfect but it’s real.  When you enter our lives, what you get is reality TV.

In the words of Teresa of Avila (1515–1582):

Christ has no body but yours,
No hands, no feet on earth but yours…

Let us be hands of Christ wrapped with grace to reach out to touch and care for others.  We are compelled by His love, because it is in His most perfect embrace that we find WE have arrived home.

Garland Young-Cheng

我個人其中最喜歡的作者之一Henri Nouwen從前根據著名畫家倫勃朗掛在聖彼德堡在埃爾米塔的作品“浪子的回頭”寫了一本同名的書。當浪子回歸父親時，父親就如在畫中描繪的以充滿愛的擁抱來歡迎兒子的回來。畫中的左邊描述出那擁抱是充滿力量的、是有意的、肯定和保持著的。畫中的右邊，那擁抱是相反的：溫柔、撫摸、輕的、柔然、舒服、甚至優雅的。兩者都覆蓋著，兩者都保護著。一切都從雙手開始，男性和女性的特質都有。兩者讓我們的家庭得以完整，這就是我們的家。

我們都期待回家。無論是上了一整天的課程、或是工作了一天、或是在遊樂園玩了一天，一天的完結時，我們渴望安靜跟休息。有時候當我們依靠著一個人，告訴他一天的好與壞會有幫助；有時候，有人跟我們說一句“一切都會OK”就已經夠了。家人就是有這作用，無論他們有多麽不完美。家庭會經歷生命不同的階段，承受人生的高低起伏，但沒有東西能阻擋我們一同慶祝勝利，堅持到底去對抗考驗，為共同的夢想充滿希望。不僅我們的家庭是這樣，在神的家庭（那個我們學習著如基督般事奉的大社區）也都是這樣。

我丈夫Gary和我已經結婚21年了。我們一同經歷神給予我們的一切。我們有不同的風格，也經常有不同的看法。對於怎樣養育孩子，我們總會有著激烈的對話，或者這就是讓我們家庭生活維持精彩的關鍵。他幫我解決電腦問題，而我就幫他明白昨晚發的夢；我幫他肯定他的直覺，而他就幫我決定藍色或紅色。但他最愛就是聽到我因為聽到他的笑話開懷大笑到快沒有氣的聲音，而我最愛就是我們能在高爾夫球場球道上手牽手的感覺。

除了我們自己的家庭以外，神的家庭也一樣聯繫著我們兩夫妻的心。神給予我很多 – 祂的愛、祂提供的一切、祂的自由、祂的醫治。當我經常提醒自己這個真理時，我的心就被淹沒，並溢出愛。作為拍檔，我們想一起帶其他人進入神的家庭，我們渴望潛進神的話語裡讓神擴濶我們認識祂的程度；我們渴望接受祂的承諾，學習用勇氣和順服跟神同步；我們想實踐我們所知道的、活得真實、互相扶持、互相鼓勵，而且同時為下一代活出在基督裡的婚姻的模樣。我們絕對不完美，但是非常真實。當你進入我們的生活時，你看到的就像電視裡的真人秀一樣。

就如德蘭修女(1515–1582) 所說：

神沒有身體，除了你的，
在世上沒有手，沒有腳，除了你的。。。

讓我們包含著基督的恩典與關心做神的雙手去關愛別人。我們以祂的愛為推動力，因祂最完美的擁抱讓我們發現我們已回家了。

Garland Young-Cheng

Image credit: flickr.com/thomashawk

There are some girls who are always in relationships and others who are always single. I was in the latter camp. I had never been in a serious relationship ever before and even before coming to Christ, I felt that I only wanted to date “the one” I would marry. My friends called me idealistic and overly picky, they advised me to take things less seriously and be more open-minded towards relationships. But I was determined that I would be able to discern whom my future husband would be before we started a romantic relationship. I had compiled a long criteria list (over 50 qualities!) and was waiting for “the one” to show up.

I had come to know Christ in 2006, but deep down I still struggled with putting God first in terms of my future relationship. Faith was not on the top of my criteria list. I was looking for a Christian guy because I knew that’s what the Bible said, plus I thought marrying someone with the same faith would minimize disagreements during our marriage and guarantee my parents’ approval. However, given the highly skewed girl: guy ratio at our church, I started to think dating a Christian man was near impossible and resorted to a compromise that I would settle for someone who was just open to the idea of Christianity.

However, as I grew in my faith, God changed the desires of my heart. In October 2010, I experienced a spiritual breakthrough and as I was sharing this with friends who were not yet believers, I realized how many of them didn’t understand why I was so excited or what the big deal was. This led me to another important revelation. My diary entry from October 23, 2010 said it most clearly: “I want someone who can share my excitement and walk together with me in my spiritual journey. Someone whose heart is soft and caring, whose heart breaks for what breaks yours, and will strengthen and encourage me in my walk with you. Lord, I know I’ve had a million requests of what I want in a future husband but now it just comes down to one thing – does he share my passion for You and Your vision? That’s all I ask for now, that he loves You and wants to walk in Your will for the rest of his life.” And as always, God heard my prayer and answered!

In November 2010, I started going to a new bible study group and there was a guy called Ian in the group who caught my attention. I thought he was attractive, fun and interesting, but it was hard to talk in a large group. When I found out he was interested in going to a talk by Pastor Francis Chan that weekend, I offered him directions (since it was hosted at my parents’ church) and we ended up going together. Even though nothing happened afterwards, I knew there was something special about him. What made me like him even more was when I found out that he would be spending Christmas night giving out rice boxes to the homeless in Sham Shui Po and Yau Ma Tei! I had never felt this way about someone and so I prayed to God for a sign if he was really the one. However, he never asked me out one-on-one so I assumed he either had a girlfriend or just wasn’t interested.

As the months went by, I continued to see him at bible study, outreach and ministry events. I was able to learn more about his character and grew to admire his humility, compassion, righteousness and passion for God. Especially during times of outreach, such as the Mongolia mission trip in August 2011, I saw how much he loved God and cared for people around him. As one of the co-leaders of the Mongolia trip, he led the sharing session at church after we came back. Even my sister and mother noticed him then and gushed about what a strong man of God he was! They not so subtly asked me whether he was single, to which I adamantly told them he was out of my league and that they shouldn’t get their hopes up. I prayed again for confirmation and clarity, but interpreted his seeming lack of interest as God’s sign that he wasn’t the one for me and that we would just remain as friends. But as hard as I tried, I couldn’t stop thinking about him.

In December 2011, I received prophecies from 2 separate pastors from the US who had no idea of my crush on Ian. The first one was that I would start dating by March and even though the pastor didn’t tell me explicitly whom I would be dating, he asked a lot of questions about Ian and it was clear that he had taken special notice of Ian after only seeing him twice. Even though this was a prophecy that God blessed me with, I was too scared of being disappointed again and so I told myself that even if I did start dating by March, there was no way the person would be Ian. The other pastor was my cousin, who said he felt a strong sense from the Holy Spirit during the wedding banquet that my future husband was at the same banquet and that I would be starting a relationship very soon.

By two months later (February 2012), neither prophecy was even close to becoming reality and doubt was setting in. I did receive a bouquet of roses on Valentine’s Day, but they were anonymous and no one had asked me out that day so I assumed it must’ve been one of my girlfriends who was trying to comfort me for still being single. I thought to myself, did both pastors hear incorrectly? Maybe it was just their wishful thinking and not a word from God? I was disheartened but decided the best way was to ignore the prophecies altogether and leave it in God’s hands, whatever the outcome was. I prayed the words of the hymn ‘Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing’, “Here’s my heart Lord, take and seal it, seal it for thy courts above.” I prayed God would keep my heart in His hands and give it to whomever he wanted to give it to, not whom I wanted to give it to.

Then one day in March, completely out of the blue, Ian emailed me and asked whether I was free for lunch. I thought it was odd (since we never hung out one-on-one) and had no idea why he wanted to see me, but I thought it could be related to our bible study group so I agreed to meet him for a quick lunch during a work day. At the lunch, we talked about everything, including family, work, and he started talking about how he recently learned to appreciate God’s perspective about relationships and how beautiful it was, how the commitment and choice to love was a reflection of the gospel rather than the world’s portrayal of pure romance and emotions. He asked me out for dinner the same week and I thought (with excitement!) that perhaps there was a tinge of interest and that he wanted to get to know me better before deciding whether he wanted to pursue me or not.

Little did I know how serious his intentions were! During the dinner, he told me he had liked me since we first met in 2010 but how he wasn’t ready for a relationship or marriage then. He recounted all the conversations we had and little things I had done which he had noticed and loved. He told me about all his prayers in the past year and how God had confirmed over and over again that I was a gift from God to him. The Valentine’s Day flowers were also from him. He had no idea I liked him all this time, but he boldly expressed that he just wanted to let me know how strongly he felt towards me and how he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me in marriage. You can imagine how relieved he was when I responded by saying the feelings were mutual! 6 months of dating, he proposed and we will be getting married this October.

I must admit the process of waiting (including the time before I had even met Ian) and the extended period of singleness was not easy and I often struggled with trusting God fully with my relationship, but now I finally understand that God had his perfect plan all along. I am so grateful that He protected my heart and gave me the strength and conviction to wait for the right one. He placed Ian in my life at the perfect time, when I had just set my priorities straight and started praying for a man who was rooted firmly in God (though I am blessed enough to say that Ian fulfills all the other qualities I had on my original wish list as well!) He gave us opportunities to serve together, for us to discover each other’s character and be a part of the other’s spiritual growth. He gave us separate prophecies to reassure us that this relationship is from Him. Our friendship is a part of our love story, and there is no greater joy than knowing that God was our ultimate matchmaker!

Check here to read Ian’s side of the love story!

有些女生總是在談戀愛，而有些總是單身的。我是屬於後者。我從未有過一段認真的關係，甚至在我信主之前我已認為我只希望跟我的未來丈夫約會。我的朋友都說我太過完美主義及挑剔。他們都勸我不要太過認真，試試對感情開放一點。縱使如此，我還是相信我會在我們開始約會前便能夠認出我的未來丈夫。我有一張超過50個要求的清單；等著我的這位真命天子出現。

我在2006年開始信主，可是在心的深處，要我在感情事上將神放在第一位我還是覺得很掙扎。對方的信仰並不在我擇偶條件中的首位。我希望找到一位基督徒只是因為聖經的教訓，加上我覺得嫁給一位相同信仰的人能減少我們不和的機會，也更容易得到家人的認同。可是教會女多男少；我覺得要找到一個基督徒的機會少之又少，所以便跟自己妥協，決定只要能找到一位不拒絕基督教的男生就可以了。

可是當我在這信仰中成長的過程，神改變了我的意願。在2010年的10月，我經歷了屬靈上的突破。我跟未信主的朋友分享時，發現他們根本不了解我為什麼這樣興奮，也不明白這事的重要性。結果這件事給了我一個很重要的啓示；我在2010年10月23日的日記裡說得很清楚：「我希望找到一位能夠分享我的興奮、以及在我的屬靈路上同行的人；一位溫柔細心、與祢的意念相同、又能夠在我跟祢的路上鼓勵和支持我的人。主，我知道我在過去有千萬個對於未來丈夫的要求，不過現在重點只有一個：他能夠分享我對祢的熱情和祢的意願嗎？我現在只有一個要求，就是希望他愛祢和願意這輩子都與祢同行。」一如以往，神聽見我的禱告並允許了！

在2010年的11月，我開始出席一個新的查經班。班裡有一位叫Ian的男生得到我的注意。我覺得他很有吸引力、好玩又有趣，不過在一群人之中要單獨對話卻不容易。當我知道他對Francis Chan牧師的講道活動有興趣時，我便給他到場地的指示（因為活動是在我父母的教會舉行的），結果我們更一齊去。縱使沒甚麼發生，我也感到這個人是有點特別的。我發現他聖誕夜打算到深水埗和油麻地派飯盒給露宿者時，我更喜歡這人！我從來都未試過對任何人有這種感覺，所以我便禱告求神給我啓示這人到底是否就是我的真命天子。可是他從來沒有邀請我單獨見面，所以我便以為他已有女朋友或者對我根本沒有興趣。

在之後幾個月期間，我一直在查經班和不同的外展／事工活動見到他。我能夠加深了解他的個性，也欣賞他的謙卑、愛心、正義感、和對神的熱情。在外展的期間－尤其是在2011年8月到蒙古的宣教之旅－我親眼看見他有多愛神和如何照顧身邊的人。回到香港，他以其中一位短宣領導者的身份在教會分享這旅程的感受；就連我的姐姐和媽媽都因為他對神的熱情而感到雀躍。她們直接地問我他是不是單身，我便告訴她們不要有任何期望，因為我根本配不上他。我繼續為這件事祈禱，不過他看似沒有意思，我便當作是神的啓示，告訴我他不是我要找的那位，並該當朋友而已。可是無論我多努力嘗試，我都不斷地想起他。

2011年12月，兩位從美國來而又不知道我對Ian有意思的牧師給我預言。第一個是說我在3月會開始約會。雖然這位牧師沒有明確地告訴我這人是誰，他卻問了很多關於Ian的問題。很明顯，雖然他只見過Ian兩次，他已經留意到這個人。雖然這是一個神賜給我的預言，我還是很怕會失望，所以我告訴自己，就算我3月真的會開始約會，這人都一定不會是Ian。另一位牧師是我的表哥，他說聖靈給了他強烈的感動，覺得我未來的丈夫在我們當時身處的婚宴，而我也很快會開始一段感情。

2012年2月，也就是兩個月後，兩個預言都不似會即將實現，而我也開始動搖。在情人節當日我收到一束玫瑰花，可是沒有表明是誰送來，當日又沒有人約我，我便以為是我的朋友們送來安慰我的。我問自己，是不是兩位牧師都搞錯了？可能是他們自己的希望，而不是從神而來的話語吧。我雖然有點灰心，但都覺得還是不要理會這些預言，將結果交給主。我以聖詩 “Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing”的歌詞作為我的禱告：「主，這是我的心，拿去並於祢的花園鎖起 。」我祈求神會保守我的心，將它交托於祂喜悅，不是我喜悅的人。

在3月的某一天，我突然收到Ian的一封電郵，問我有沒有時間跟他吃午飯。由於我們從來未試過單獨見面，我覺得這個邀請很奇怪，不過我心想一定是關於我們的查經班，所以便答應找天午飯時間見個面。見面的時候我們無所不談：家庭、工作…然後他講起最近他開始懂得欣賞神對於感情的用意有多美麗。他說承諾與愛的選擇都反映著耶穌的福音，而不是世間所描寫那種單單的浪漫和情感。他約我在同一個星期裡吃晚飯，我便開始興奮地想或者他對我真的有點意思，可能現在就是希望認識我更多才開始追求我。

我真想不到他原來有多認真！晚飯的時候，他告訴我他由2010年我們初次見面時已經喜歡我，不過當時他覺得自己未夠成熟去應付一段感情或婚姻。他又告訴我他記得也很喜歡那些我們之間的對話和我所做過的一些小事、小動作。他又告訴我他在過去一年間的禱告，神如何一次又一次地確認我是神給他的一份恩賜。原來情人節的花是他送來的。他一直都不知道我喜歡他，不過他卻勇敢地向我表達他對我的感覺有多強烈，和他希望這輩子都跟我在婚姻之中渡過。你可想像我告訴他我也有同感時他有多安慰嗎？我們約會了6個月後他便求婚，我們今年10月要結婚了！

我不得不承認，等待的過程（包括我認識Ian前的時間）以及那段長時間單身的階段的確不容易。我對於完全在感情方面信賴神經常感到掙扎，不過我現在終於明白神完美的計劃！我真的很感激祂一直保守著我的心，又給我力量和信念去等待最適合我的一位。神的時間安排很完美，祂在我搞清楚甚麼才是最重要、並開始禱告求神為我帶來一個跟神的關係根深蒂固的男人後，才把Ian帶進我的生命裡（不過我很感恩，Ian完完全全地滿足我自己原有的擇偶要求！）。祂給我們一齊侍奉的機會，讓我們更加認識對方之外更能夠互相成為大家屬靈成長的一部份。祂分別地給了我們預言，向我們確認這是祂賜的姻緣。我們的友情是我們愛情故事的一部份，而知道神是我們的媒人必定是最大的喜悅！

按這裡看看Ian的故事吧！

Image credit: flickr.com/from_linda_yvonne

This is my story of how God shaped my idea of dating and marriage.

Since I came to believe in Jesus in early 2010, my life started taking on a whole new direction. I was a single Christian and enjoyed the freedom and flexibility of being single. To me, the thought of being with another person was not attractive at all, and at times I even reasoned that I could serve God better as a single person.

I first met Andrea when she came to our bible study care group back in late 2010. I thought she was attractive, but didn’t think any further than that. Over time, we got to know each other a little better but were never close and never saw each other alone or outside of a group.

As much as I tried to shrug off the “initial” attraction to Andrea, I couldn’t, and I soon found myself still attracted to her after over a year. At that point, I actually prayed on several occasions for God to take away those feelings as I was actively involved in various ministries and took delight in being able to spend my time freely doing whatever I liked. I wanted to remain single because I never saw anything good about being in a relationship.

A brother of mine was engaged to Andrea’s sister in 2011 and shared with me his joy and excitement about anticipating marriage. I just listened to him – not sure what to think but every time he mentioned marriage, I always thought about Andrea. It was weird and I tried to shrug it off.

One day, a thought came to mind, “What if God didn’t want me to be single?” – that thought scared me a little as I had maintained a comfortable routine and way of life. There was stability and security, I felt more in control, and the thought of having to be with someone put a completely new spin to the comfort of familiarity. I wanted to wrestle with God on this point, but finally gave in by praying that if He really did want me to be with Andrea, then He had to give me signs and confirmation, otherwise, I would continue living single. The next morning after I had prayed that prayer, I received an email from my care group leader saying:

“Hey Bro, we probably wont be having dinner la. Just you and Andrea….”

In all the one and a half years of care group there was never a time when dinner was not required and now only Andrea and I had signed up for dinner. I was reminded about my prayer the night before, but I quickly dismissed it as a sign from God because it felt so sudden and impossible. I even put my hands over my eyes and said out loud, “This is not happening God, it is just a coincidence”. As I lifted my hands from my eyes, I caught a glimpse of some scripture written on a cross which was given to me by a friend several months ago – the words I caught hold of at the corner of my eye happened to be in bold print compared to the rest of scripture and it said “this is a gift from God”. I stared at the cross for a long time, feeling a little surreal and not knowing what to think. I just kept quiet and didn’t want to think anymore.

A few months went by, I had ignored the signs but I still felt drawn to Andrea yet not convinced that a relationship was in God’s mind for me. Then another thought came to mind “Why did you ignore the signs? Do you really believe the signs were a coincidence or from God?”. I felt a little convicted and had the urge to pray about it seriously one more time.

I told God, he knew me through and through (all my faults, limitations and past), that I trusted Him and only wanted to bring Him glory through my life and I would listen to Him the next time, if He were to point to Andrea again. Nothing happened for the next month or so. I was a little confused. So I prayed again to God, apologising to Him if I had ignored His voice earlier and asked if He would tell me one last time, yes or no, so that I might finally put the matter to rest. He did.

In February 2012, I remember one of the leaders at our church prayed for me at a Christian conference. I was expecting some kind of wisdom or powerful life changing words, but all he said was that he felt that I would start dating in March or April of 2012.

At around the same time, I was involved with the Alpha course at church and was invited to share my testimony with the guests one night. Andrea was not involved with Alpha at the time, but had heard through some mutual friends that I would be giving my testimony that evening and asked me if she could also come to listen. It almost seemed like God was arranging for Andrea to listen and know me better and for me to open myself up to her.

Shortly after, I stumbled across an online Christian article that caught my attention because of the provocative title “Stop Test Driving Your Girlfriend!”. The article spoke right into my heart. It talked about how guys often ask, is she the “right” one for them, rather than asking if they are the right ones for her. I realised that though I did want to trust God, there was another reason why I didn’t want to date, it was because I feared that we might realise later it was a mistake just like many others who ended up in a divorce. The article also spoke about marriage being the reflection of the gospel, of a man learning to love someone like the way Jesus would. Not looking to love only when times were sweet, but also in times of difficulties and especially when we “don’t feel like it” or think it was a mistake to marry that person.  I realised the act of loving someone was a choice, just like how God chose to lay His life down for us, I had to choose to love. This shattered my fear of finding the “right” one, because I knew that it was not so much of Andrea being “right” for me, as it was about me being “right” for her and choosing to love her with all that I have, sacrificially, like Jesus which was not conditional upon anything good that she would do or not do. I felt God was asking if I would love someone radically like the way He showed his commitment to give His life for me. I felt an almost immediate excitement, freedom and courage that came with that thought. It shattered my fears and gave me a freedom to love, a freedom to go after the person whom I would choose to lay down my life for, not just physically, but also in terms of my pride, my self-centeredness, my own ambitions, in order to live out a reflection of the gospel in our marriage. God totally changed my view about marriage. A marriage based on the gospel was radically different from a marriage based on Hollywood and romanticism.

I decided to ask Andrea out the next week. I was so nervous I had apparently told her that I wanted to marry her on the same night. Good thing it didn’t scare her away and she actually said yes (to dating at the time, not yet marriage). We were both thrilled beyond words. She told me she had feelings for me since we met but didn’t notice any interest on my side. She then told me about a prophecy she received from two Christian leaders at her sister’s wedding in 2011 (which I also attended) that someone in the ballroom was her future husband and one of them even indicated it was me and that we would be together in March 2012 (it was 22 March 2012 when I asked her out, and I didn’t know anything about these prophecies). She refused to believe it at the time because she didn’t see any chance and didn’t want her heart to be broken. Then I suddenly remembered the prophecy I had received back in February 2012 that I would start dating in March or April and I shared that with her too. We were a little awe struck at that point as we discovered God’s finger-prints were all over the events leading up to that evening. I am still in awe.

Six months later, we got engaged (yes, she eventually said yes) and we’re due to be married this year in 2013. When we first started dating, we really didn’t know what to expect, we didn’t really know each other either. But we knew that we were committed to a gospel marriage (yes, even at the start!) and that commitment became the foundation on which I came to fall completely head over heels for Andrea over time. The world tells us we must be head over heels for someone before we know if he or she is the one, but I believe that a relationship built on the gospel is what will cause you to continually grow in love with the person.

Check here to read Andrea’s side of the love story!

這是一個神如何改變我對戀愛和婚姻的看法的故事。

自從我在2010年初信主後，我的生命有了全新的方向。我當時是一位單身的基督徒，並享受著單身的自由和彈性生活。對我來講，跟另外一個人一起的這個主意一點都不吸引，而有時候，我還告訴自己單身能令我更能事奉神。

我認識Andrea是在2010年底，當她加入我們的查經班的時候。我第一眼覺得她很有吸引力，但除此以外，我也沒多想了。隨著時間，我們變得比較了解對方，但也說不上很熟，我們也從來沒有單獨見面。

儘管我嘗試著不去想我對Andrea最初的好感，那感覺也沒有消失，反而過了一年後，我發現我還是被她吸引著。那個時候，其實我禱告過好幾次求神把那些感覺帶走，因為我當時正活躍於多個事工團隊，並喜歡能夠自由地運用自己的時間去事奉神。我想一直單身，因為我從來都不覺得拍拖會帶來什麼好事情。

在2011年，我有位弟兄跟Andrea的姐姐訂了婚，他跟我分享這婚事為他帶來的喜樂和興奮。我聽著聽著 － 不是太知道應該想什麼，但每當他提及婚姻的時候，我總是想起Andrea，很奇怪，我嘗試不想它、不小題大作。

有一天，我突然有一個想法：「要是神並不想我單身呢？」－那想法嚇了我一跳，因為我已習慣了我舒適的生活模式。我的生活穩定、有安全感，一切都在我控制之內，所以想起要和另外一個人一起生活為我帶來了因生活會被打亂而引起的不安。我想在這一點上反抗神，但終於放棄了，並禱告說如果祂真的想我和Andrea在一起，那祂就要給我提示和確定，要不然，我就會繼續單身下去。第二早在我做了這個禱告後，我收到了我的查經班領導的電郵說：

 「兄弟，我們不能跟你吃飯啦。所以只剩你和Andrea⋯⋯」

在我參加查經班的一年半裡，從來沒有一次不是大家一起吃晚餐的，這次卻只有我和Andrea。我想起我前一天晚上的禱告，但我很快就打消了這是從神而來的提示的念頭，因為這來得太突然、太不可思議了。我甚至於把雙手蓋着雙眼，大聲說：「神，這是不能發生的，這只是一個巧合。」當我把雙手拿開，我瞥見幾個月前朋友送給我的十字架上的經文－我眼角所看到的那段經文是用了特別粗的字體，寫著：「這是從神而來的禮物。」我看著那十字架很久，覺得有點超現實，反應不過來。我只能保持安靜，不再想下去了。

幾個月過去了，我不理會那些來自神的提示，雖然我還對Andrea有好感，但是我還是不相信神想我們在一起。然後，又有一個想法在我的腦海裡出現：「你為什麼不理會我給你的提示？你到底覺得這些提示是來自於我的還是單單是一個巧合？」我的信念增強，並有衝動為這件事再一次認真地祈禱。

我告訴神，祂最熟悉我（包括我的所有缺點、極限和過去），我相信祂並一心只想用我的一生把榮耀帶給祂，所以下一次祂再指向Andrea的時候，我一定會聽從。在打後的一個多月，什麼都沒有發生。我有點疑惑。所以我再次向神禱告，為了我之前不理會祂對我說的話而向祂道歉。我禱告求祂再跟我說一次，是還是不是，好讓我把這事情畫上一個句號。祂真的回應了。

2012年2月，我記得教會裡一位領袖在一個基督教特會上為我祈禱。我期待著一些充滿智慧或能改寫生命的話語，但是他只跟我說他感覺到我將會在2012年3月或4月開始拍拖。

大概就在那個時間，我在教會的啓發課程事奉，並被邀請跟大家分享我的見證。Andrea當時並沒有在啓發課程事奉，但是她聽朋友說我會在當晚分享我的見證，所以她問我她能否來聽聽。這好像是神安排Andrea來透過聽我的見證去更了解我，也是祂的安排讓我打開心扉跟她分享。

不久後，我偶然在網上看到一篇基督教文章，那具挑釁性的標題“停止試駕你的女朋友！”引起了我的注意。那文章一語中的，說男生時常問：「她是否“適合”的一位？」，卻從來不問到底自己是否適合她。我發現縱使我想信任神，我想保持單身的另外一個原因是我怕我們有一天會發現這是一個錯誤，然後像很多人一樣要離婚。那文章也說到婚姻是福音的寫照，是關於一個人如何學著像耶和華般愛人。不是只在甜蜜的時候才愛那人，而是在苦困，特別是在我們不想愛或覺得跟那人結婚是個錯誤的時候，也繼續愛著你的伴侶。我發現愛一個人是一個選擇，就像神為我們捨去祂的生命，我要作出愛人的選擇才能愛。這粉碎了我對能否找到“適合”的一位的恐懼，因為我知道問題不在于Andrea是否適合我的“那一位“，而在于我是否適合她的一位，在于我會否選擇去不惜一切地愛她，就如耶和華一樣無條件地愛著她，不論她會做或不會做什麼。我感覺到神問我會否像祂決意為我捨命一樣地決心去愛一個人。隨著那一念，我即時感覺到一股興奮、自由和勇氣。它把我的恐懼粉碎，並給了我去愛人的自由，也給了我追求一個我會為她選擇放下自己的生命（不單是肉體的生命，而且是我的虛榮、自我和為己的野心）的人，好讓我們能活出寫照福音的婚姻。在福音上建立的婚姻跟建立於好萊塢和浪漫主意的婚姻可是大不同。

第二個禮拜，我決定跟Andrea表白。我很緊張，緊張到我基本上在同一個晚上告訴了她我想跟她結婚。幸好這沒有嚇跑她，她竟然說好（對於交往，不是結婚）。我們倆都興奮得說不出話來。她告訴我她打從我們第一次見面就對我有好感，只是沒有留意到我對她也有好感。她又告訴我她在2011年她姐姐的婚禮上（我也有參加這婚禮）兩位基督教領袖給她的預言。預言說在婚宴當中有一個人是她的未來丈夫，其中一個預言更表明說那個人是我，而我們將在2012年3月開始交往（我表白的日子是2012年3月22日，我當時根本不知道有這些預言）。她當時拒絕相信，因為她覺得沒機會發生，也不想因為期望太高而心碎。我聽後突然想起我在2012年2月收到的預言，預言說我會在3月或4月開始拍拖。我跟Andrea分享這個預言，我們倆都因為頓時察覺了神的微妙的安排而感到非常驚嘆。我到現在還是覺得很奇妙！

六個月後，我們訂婚了（對的，她終於答應了），我們將於2013年結婚。當我們初初交往的時候，我們真的不知道應該期待什麼，我們連對方也不太了解。但是我們知道我們已承諾了要活出福音的婚禮（對的，我們一開始就決定了！），那承諾就成為我為Andrea傾倒的基石。世俗告訴我們我們必需為某人著迷後才能知道那人是我們的“那一位”，但是我相信在福音上建立的婚姻是會讓我們一天比一天愛著對方的。

按這裡看看Andrea的故事吧！

Image credit: flickr.com/from_linda_yvonne

Season’s greetings! Merry Christmas! Or actually, I should say, Happy Birthday!

In this busiest time of the year, as we’re off fretting with holiday shopping, family visits and office parties, I wanted to shoot you this quick message thanking you for the impact you’ve had on my life.

Thank you for being there even when I don’t seem to feel it. And even more so for the times when I do feel it. Thank you for being born. Because of this, we who believe in you are also alive in you. Thank you for the times we feel injustice in the world, when situations arise where we run questions through our head, questions like, “how can blameless, innocent beings like children suffer such tragic fate?” and for showing us that you, who was the most innocent, most blameless, most beautiful of all, died the most cruel death of all. For showing us that for every evil force in the world, there are so many beautiful, courageous people who sacrifice themselves to save others — you being the best representation of them all!

Can’t wait for our relationship to continue to grow closer and closer in the new year!

p.s. Say hi to daddy for me, please. :)

Loving you with all my heart,
Janice

親愛的耶和華：

節日快樂！聖誕快樂！噢，我應該說，生日快樂！

趁著每年裡最繁忙的這個時間，當我們各自為著聖誕購物、家庭聚會和公司派對而忙不過來的時候，我想很快地給祢寫一封簡單的信去感謝祢對我生命的影響。

感謝祢與我常在，即使在我感覺不到祢的存在的時候，你也沒有離開。而為著我能感覺到祢的存在的時候，我分外感恩。感謝祢的誕生。因為祢的誕生，相信祢的人也活在祢內。感謝當我們為著世界上的不公義而反覆思考：「為什麼純真無辜的小孩會遭遇到如此悲慘的命運？」時，祢讓我們知道最美麗、最潔白無暇、最無辜的祢卻因為我們遭遇了最殘忍的結局。感謝你讓我們看到，世界上有著罪惡的同時，也有著很多美麗又勇敢的人甘於為救贖他人而犧牲自己－祢就是他們當中的表表者！

我急不及待地在新的一年去繼續認識祢、更靠近祢！

附註：請幫我向阿爸父問好！：）

全心全意愛祢的Janice上

You’ve opened your first retail store in TST. Congrats! Why the transition from wholesale to retail?
Wholesale is actually relaxing. Only when people order, we ship. That’s it. But we noticed that when we just put it in other stores, we couldn’t get the message across as much as we would like. In the past, when our clothes were on the racks of stores like Harvey Nichols, Cocktail and Ztampz, we weren’t at those stores all the time so we couldn’t explain to the shoppers what our line means. It’s like a baby crying and crying and you don’t know what he wants. Now that we have a shop, we’re able to explain more clearly what our merchandise means. We get to push the message out more directly.

你剛開了位於尖沙嘴的首間專門店。恭喜你！為什麼你想從批發改為零售呢？
做批發其實很舒服。有人訂貨的時候，我們才發貨。就這麼簡單。但是我們察覺當貨品只放在其他店舖代售時，我們沒有機會把信息完完全全地傳出去。在過去的日子，當我們的衣服在Harvey Nichols、Cocktail和Ztampz裡發售的時候，我們不能在店裡為顧客講解我們品牌的含義。這就像一個嬰兒不停在哭，但沒人知道他想要什麼。現在，我們有了自己的店，我們就可以清楚地講解我們產品的意義。我們可以更直接地把信息傳出去。

Who are your customers?
Young people who are not Christians. The Bible is filled with wisdoms that can teach you how to live a good life. But it’s really difficult getting friends to read the Bible – most of them would probably only read it after they retire. However, if you put it on a shirt, it’s a lot easier to absorb the message. Before we didn’t have a store but we got a lot of shoppers who bought our pieces and noticed the Bible verse on the back and they wrote in. We had one girl who wasn’t Christian tell us how when she saw the Bible verse on a shirt she bought, it sparked a really interesting conversation with her Christian friend and she’s now very interested in learning more about the Bible. So the point of these clothes is a way for you to share more conversations about the Bible and about God with those around you.

你的顧客群是什麼人呢？
是非基督徒的年輕人。聖經載滿了能教你怎樣過有意義的一生的智慧和道理。 但是，要你的朋友研讀聖經是一件很困難的事。要是你把經文寫在衣服上，話語就變得比較容易吸收。以前，我們雖然沒有自己的專門店，但很多顧客買了我們的衣服後，發現印上的聖經話語就會發電郵給我們。有位非信徒的女孩告訴我們，衣服上的聖經話語引起她與她的基督徒朋友的一段有趣的對話，自此她就對研讀聖經充滿興趣。重點是這些衣服能讓你跟身邊的人分享更多有關聖經和神的對話。

Faith is often a really sensitive topic but your brand is so open about it. Have you ever faced any negative reactions?
Very few. I think now that the shop has opened, there will be more. I find that non-Christians are actually not as judgmental as other Christians. Most people in Hong Kong are pretty liberal with faith, they’re okay with Jesus and Christianity. And most people just enjoy the positive energy from the messages of the shirt. But we have gotten some comments from other Christians about how we’re using the Lord to make money. The thing is we want to be self-sustainable in spreading the message, we don’t want to be a charity. Why should we fundraise and beg people to give us money when we don’t have to? I look to TOMS shoes and it’s so successful in sustaining itself and reaching out to other people, doing good work. That’s what we would like to model ourselves after.

信仰是一個很敏感的話題，而你的品牌對信仰卻那麼公開。你過往有否經歷過別人負面的反應呢？
很少。我覺得專門店開了後，可能會多一點。我發現非基督徒反而沒有基督徒那麼主觀判斷。 在香港，大部份人對信仰有著開放的態度，他們抱著平常心對待耶和華和基督教這些概念。而多數人都喜歡我們衣服上的信息所帶出的正能量。 可是，我們卻收到有些基督徒的評語覺得我們利用神來賺錢。問題是，我們傳播信息的同時也想做到自力更生，我們不想做慈善。要是我們有能力自力更生，我們為什麼要伸出手問別人要錢呢？我拿Toms這鞋履品牌做榜樣，它很成功地自我維持業務，也同時把信息廣泛傳達。這就是我們想效忠的榜樣。

Since starting your line, you’ve gotten married and found two more partners to join your team – your husband Jeff and his longtime business partner Leo. What is it like working with them?
My now-husband Jeff came to Christ when we were dating and when he saw all the positive support we received from the celebrities and the stores that wanted to carry our merchandise; it motivated him to join the company. And his longtime business partner Leo also came along because the two of them always worked really well together. Leo’s actually not Christian but it’s really good that he’s on our team because he gives us a more balanced business point of view. Sometimes he wouldn’t understand when Jeff and I would pray about things though [laughs].

自從你開始了自己的品牌以後，你結婚了，也找到了兩位搭檔 － 你的丈夫Jeff和他的長期生意夥伴Leo－加入你的團隊。跟他們一起合作是怎樣的？
我的丈夫Jeff在我們還在約會的時候信主了，看到很多名人以及商店支持我們的品牌鼓勵他去加入這公司。他的長期生意夥伴Leo也加入了，因為他們倆一向也合作得很好。其實Leo不是基督徒，但是有他在我們的團隊是一件很好的事，因為他能提供比較平衡和客觀的商業意見。有時候，他不會明白為什麼我和Jeff會為遇到的事情而祈禱。[笑]

What are some things that you think you’ve learned since starting your line?
I felt like through this experience, God really purified me because when you’re trying to market your product in the commercial world, I was tested to tell different lies or spin the story a different way in order to sell more. But this purified me instead because it made me realize how sinful our natures are and how we need to rely on Him to purify us. I would be tempted and then realize I needed to rely on Him more.

在開始你的品牌後，你覺得你學到了什麼呢？
我覺得透過這經歷，神淨化了我，因為當你在商業社會上嘗試推銷你的產品時，你會被試煉，有著衝動去為了銷量而說謊或把故事改頭換面、說得天花龍鳳。但這試煉卻淨化了我，因為試煉讓我體會我們罪惡的本性以及我們是多需要依賴神去淨化我們。我會被誘惑，然後從而感覺到我需要更依靠著神。

Amenpapa has a different theme each season, is that right?
Yes, we try to have a different theme each season. Currently, it’s called Who Cares. It has a double meaning. One meaning is the way young people nowadays just casually throw around ‘Who cares’ but it’s actually also the intention that God cares. Also I think it speaks to Hong Kong’s culture where they tell you ‘see bah guan gei, gei buht lo sum’ (事不關己， 己不勞心) – which means ‘things that don’t concern me, has nothing to do with me so I don’t care’. And that’s something my father has always taught me. We tend to go about just minding our own business and not really caring about others. I would only care about my own problems and think about myself. I didn’t even use to really care about my closest friends. But that’s not what the Bible preaches. The Bible tells you to care for others. And it’s because Christ cares so much about us.

Our next theme is going to be a little bit darker and talks about the gravity of gospel. Because Christ dying on the cross for us is not a happy thing. It’s a very dark, serious matter and we want to play on that with our new pieces.

The inspiration for this theme is from when I came to Christ. It was during a dark time in my life when I was suffering from mild depression. Even after I came to Christ, I didn’t get healed– I still suffered from insomnia. The only thing that kept me from committing suicide was knowing that I wouldn’t get into heaven that way. So I couldn’t commit suicide but I would pray that I could get killed by a car. It wasn’t until one night, a friend suggested that I read the Bible. He wasn’t a Christian but he wanted me to read the Bible because it was boring and maybe I could fall asleep from it [laughs]. I flipped to a random page and the story that I read was about the Samaritan woman who was thirsty. The woman encounters Jesus who asks her to fetch him some water. The woman says “I don’t know you, why would I get you water?” and Jesus said, “if you knew who I was, I would give you the living water and you would never be thirsty again”. After I read that chapter, it didn’t leave me with any lasting impression. But after 2-3 hours, I still couldn’t sleep so I randomly flipped the bible again and it was the SAME STORY that I turned to. So I immediately kneeled down and prayed to God and asked Him to tell me what he was trying to tell me. And He told me, “You are that woman. You keep trying to fill your heart with men. But you’re never satisfied with any of these relationships. You will only be satisfied if you build a relationship with me”. Since then I started building a personal relationship with the Lord.

Amenpapa 是不是每季也有不同的主題？
對的，我們嘗試每季都有一個不同主題。現在的是“誰在乎”。這主題有著雙重意思。一方面，這代表了現代的年輕人那輕易就脫口而出的一句“誰在乎”（Who cares），也代表了暗藏的意義：“神在乎”。我覺得這也說白了香港文化裡的“事不關己， 己不勞心”，意思就是我不在乎不會影響或涉及到我的事情。這也是我爸爸常常教我的。我們往往只顧著自己的事情，不去關心別人。我曾會單單只關注自己的問題，我甚至連最要好的朋友也不是特別關心。但是聖經不是這樣教導我們的。聖經教我們要去關心別人，因為耶和華非常關心我們。

我們下一個主題會比較黑暗，講述福音的嚴重性。因為耶和華為我們在十字架上而死並不是一件快樂的事。這是一件非常黑暗且嚴重的事，而我們想把這信息放在我們新一季的產品上。

這次主體的靈感來源自我初信主的經歷。那時我受著中度憂鬱症的折磨，正渡過著人生一個很黑暗的時候。縱使我信主以後，我也還沒有得到治癒－我繼續被失眠折騰著。自殺就不能進天堂是唯一能讓我打消自殺念頭的原因，但是我卻會禱告祈求我可以被車撞死。直到有一天，我的朋友建議我去讀讀聖經。他不是基督徒，他想我讀聖經是因為他覺得聖經很悶，他覺得我或許可藉此睡著 (笑)。我隨意翻到一頁，那故事是關於一位口渴的撒瑪利亞女人。她遇見耶和華，而耶和華叫這女人給他水。這女人說：「我不認識你，為什麼我要給你水？」耶和華回答說：「如果你知道我是誰，我就會給你生命的泉源，使你永遠都不會再口渴了。」看完後，這經文沒有留下特別的印象。但兩三個小時以後，我還是睡不著，所以我又隨意翻翻聖經，我竟然又翻到同一個故事！我馬上跪地禱告，求神告訴我祂想告訴我的。祂告訴我說：「你就是那個女人。你不停想透過男人而滿足你的心靈。但是你卻從來沒有因為這些感情關係而感到滿足。唯一能讓你的心靈滿足的方法就是與我建立關係。」從此之後，我就開始和神建立一段個人的關係。

What’s one of your favorite Bible messages?
My husband and I play a game every night called ‘His word, last word’ where right before we sleep, we read a Bible verse three times and don’t speak another word for the rest of the night. This leaves God’s word as our last to meditate on for the rest of the night. My current favourite is: “But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added unto you.” – Matthew 6:33. I feel like it’s a good one to deal with what I’ve been going through with Amenpapa right now. It’s nice to be reminded that I need to seek His kingdom first and worry about the rest second.

你最喜歡的經文是什麼？
我的丈夫和我喜歡每晚睡覺前都會玩一個叫“祂的話語，最後的話語”的遊戲。我們會讀一段經文三次，然後在餘下的晚上都不會再說話。這讓神的話語成為我們在餘下的晚上沈思的話語。我近期最愛的是：「你們要先求他的國和他的義，這些東西都要加給你們了。」－馬太福音 6：33。我覺得這段經文很適合我現時在Amenpapa的經歷。這提醒了我要先求祂的國，把其他擔憂放在第二位。

You can check out the Amenpapa store at: Shop 206, Silvercord Centre, 30 Canton Rd, Tsim Sha Tsui; amenpapa.com
Amenpapa 位於尖沙嘴廣東道30號新港中心商場206號舖; amenpapa.com