Witty N Wise

We Are Nature: A Family Rooted in Green

2025-09-17T17:57:00.005+05:30

In Malibu Towne, Gurgaon, amidst the fast pace of infotech lives, there thrives a quieter passion in our family—a love for plants and trees that has grown with us, rooted deep into our existence. My better half and yours truly, now in our mature years, and our daughter Alisha, who is growing up in this green haven, see plants not as decorations, but as living members of our home.

I have never plucked flowers. I have never liked plucked flowers. Their beauty feels incomplete once severed from life. What I love are the pots and plants that remain alive—growing, breathing, thriving in their own rhythm. So, whenever someone feels happy or generous, they can send us plants—I know they’ll be welcomed and will flourish here, adding to our extended family.

The real joy, I believe, is in nurturing baby plants and making them your own. Buying larger, ready-made ones may be convenient, but it feels more like business than love. Growth, after all, is a journey to be shared.

In front of our house, there stands a money plant that tells its own story. It began as a small branch from one of our older plants, carried with us from our previous home nearly eighteen years ago. Today, it has climbed high into the Acacia tree, dense and full of life. As it grew, its leaves became larger, its prop roots stronger. Even when careless gardeners injured it, the plant healed and endured. (We made sure those gardners didn't).That resilience is part of its beauty.

Our backyard holds more memories. Sixteen years ago, we planted a small mandarin orange tree in a pot. Over time, it grew into a sturdy provider, gifting us with twenty to twenty-five kilograms of small oranges twice every year. Be warned - these oranges are not meant to be eaten raw, but they transform beautifully into marmalade—a reminder that even nature’s quirks can be savored. (How we got to learn this is the story for another day). Now the tree is old, reaching the twilight of its life, but its legacy of abundance remains. It has sheltered several ashy prinias as they build nests for their young ones. A swarm of wasps also took a liking to it once.

Similar stories live in our banana and lemon trees. Their fruits have been part of our kitchen, their growth part of our family’s story. Fruit bats often feast on the sap of young bananas . Each season brings with it small surprises, little signs that remind us we are coexisting, not just consuming.

For us, nature is not just around us—it is in us as well. We are nature, as much a part of it as the trees, birds, or rivers. We do not merely live beside them; we coexist as one life. Every new plant that arrives here is embraced as the youngest member of this large, thriving family. Each one carries its own promise, its own journey to unfold in our care.

This is how we live—not just among plants, but with them. They grow, heal, endure, and give, and in doing so, they teach us the same. Together with my wife Soma and Alisha, We find immense joy in watching this green family expand, a living, breathing extension of ourselves.

Bangalore ..... and the curse of IT

2024-10-22T16:44:00.005+05:30

Bangalore: The Curse of IT

I feel everyone residing in Bangalore should be nominated for a Nobel prize for patience and resilience. This wisdom dawned upon me when I, a North Indian, was casually trying to navigate Bangalore during what the locals still optimistically call "rain." But this wasn’t rain. This was Bangalore’s annual monsoon-induced swimming gala, where every road is a potential swimming lane, and the only thing you're missing is Michael Phelps doing laps alongside your auto rickshaw. I witnessed entire streets turn into rivers—rivers with potholes so deep, I half expected to find Atlantis. It was a 'Rain-galore'.

Now, if you’ve spent any time in Bangalore, especially during a monsoon, you’ll realize that this city has a peculiar problem. A problem that begins with an "I" and ends with a "T" (and no, it's not the IT ministry that takes 33% of your hard earned money to build cities like Bangalore). It’s the Information Technology sector that swooped in during the 90s and 2000s, promising a bright, digital future for India. And it did deliver on that front—Bangalore became the Silicon Valley of India, the go-to place for tech wizards and multinational corporations. But in doing so, it became, quite literally, a victim of its own success.

Once Upon a Time: The Air-Conditioned City

Let’s rewind a bit. In the 1980s, Bangalore was a city known for its parks, tree-lined streets, colonial bungalows, and a climate so pleasant, it earned the nickname "The Air-Conditioned City." The weather stayed so moderate throughout the year that sweaters in July weren't absurd; they were essential. You didn’t need fans or air-conditioners because nature had that covered. People spoke of Bangalore with a fondness reserved for retirement destinations—a peaceful, self-contained paradise where you could sip your filter coffee in peace and admire the bougainvillea.

Back then, MG Road wasn't a sea of honking cars, but a leisurely boulevard where you could stroll without the risk of a two-wheeler taking off your shoes. Traffic jams were non-existent, and waterlogged streets? That’s a laugh. The only things waterlogged were your plants during a mild drizzle.

But then came IT.

The Advent of IT: A Gift Wrapped in a Curse

With the arrival of IT in the 90s, Bangalore transformed. Large campuses sprang up, startups multiplied like unchecked rabbits, and people from all corners of India (and the world) descended on the city, lured by jobs, higher salaries, and the chance to complain about their internet provider. The population exploded from around 5 million in 1991 to over 13 million today. What had once been a sleepy town suddenly found itself trying to accommodate an avalanche of people, vehicles, and development. And not just any development—haphazard, unplanned expansion that turned Bangalore into a sprawling metropolis with infrastructure that struggles to catch up.

As every 'Naarth' Indian who moves here is told within the first week: "It’s the traffic, yaar." Bangalore’s traffic jams are the stuff of legend. It’s not uncommon to spend 2 hours traveling 10 kilometers. And that’s on a good day. On a rainy day, as I’ve recently witnessed, it’s more of a "how far can you walk without having to swim?" contest. IT employees, who work in glitzy glass buildings with Wi-Fi speeds to envy, often spend half their lives in slow-moving cars, looking wistfully at the empty lanes on the other side of the divider.

But traffic is just one of the curses. The other is the infrastructure—or lack thereof. Bangalore, built for a much smaller population, now faces the massive challenge of supporting the millions of people who call it home. From roads that seem to dissolve when it rains to power cuts that bring back childhood memories of the 90s, the city is bursting at the seams.

The Weather Woes: When Even Nature Had Enough

Ah, and the weather. Remember how Bangalore was once "the Air-Conditioned City"? Well, IT didn’t just bring people; it brought heat, too. With the rapid deforestation and construction of glassy high-rises, the city’s temperature has risen by several degrees over the last few decades. The trees that once cooled the air and gave Bangalore its charming green look are now being replaced by concrete jungles and ever-increasing traffic.

And don’t even get me started on the flooding. Bangalore’s drainage system, designed for a gentler era, simply cannot handle the monsoons anymore. During heavy rains, lakes overflow (because someone thought it was a good idea to build right next to them, or worse - on them), roads flood, and suddenly your Uber turns into a gondola service.

From ‘Garden City’ to ‘Garbage City’

All this has turned Bangalore from the "Garden City" into something more dystopian. Once known for its lush gardens and clean air, it now struggles with mountains of garbage, polluted lakes, and worsening air quality. IT, while bringing in wealth and opportunity, has unfortunately contributed to these challenges. The lure of Bangalore’s tech industry has drawn in more people, but the city’s infrastructure hasn’t caught up, leaving it overwhelmed.

Oh, It's the traffic.....

Almost everything, and I repeat everything, is planned based on traffic here. Bangalore's obsession with traffic is like a subplot in every conversation, every event, every decision. You think you’re heading out for a nice dinner with friends? Hold that thought. First, calculate the traffic. Want to attend a wedding across town? You might as well RSVP for next year. Need to drop your kids off at school? You better leave home the night before.

Take office meetings for example. In most cities, people plan around agendas, timelines, and deadlines. But here in Bangalore, the first thing you check is Google Maps. If the traffic looks like a scene from Mad Max, people calmly reschedule without a second thought. "10 a.m. meeting? Lol, let’s make that 11:30, traffic on Outer Ring Road is like India-Pakistan border right now." Some companies have even started sending out meeting invites with buffer times included for traffic. It's like everyone collectively agrees, "We know you're going to be late. It’s Bangalore. Let’s not kid ourselves."

Even the sacred weekend brunch isn’t immune. People choose their brunch spots based on which direction has less traffic. Friends invite you with disclaimers like, "Come over if you can make it in under an hour… otherwise, next time." You’re more likely to pick a brunch spot that takes 20 minutes to reach than one that serves a Michelin-starred meal but takes 2 hours in traffic. Bangaloreans are loyal to their neighborhoods because they know crossing the city is more of an odyssey than a meal.

And let’s not forget weddings. In any other part of the country, weddings start when they say they will. But in Bangalore, you might see “7 p.m. Baraat” on the invite, but you know there’s a hidden asterisk: subject to traffic on Bellandur Road. The bride and groom aren’t fashionably late because they want to be; they’re stuck in a jam behind 50 IT park shuttles. It’s so common here that no one blinks an eye if the baraat starts two hours late, and guests roll in just in time for the farewell ceremony. A friend of mine recently joked that his cousin’s wedding was delayed so much that he suspected they'd have their first anniversary before they even exchanged vows.

Social events? Forget about spontaneity. Impromptu plans are only for the foolhardy. Bangaloreans send detailed instructions before any meet-up, considering traffic density, rain forecasts, and proximity to metro stations. You’ll hear things like, "If you're coming from Whitefield, don't even bother," or, "We’ll wait for you till 7, but if you're stuck on Sarjapur Road… see you tomorrow." People mentally prepare for traffic like they’re heading into battle—snacks, water bottles, and a playlist long enough to last the journey.

Schools, too, are no exception. Parents have mastered the art of navigating Bangalore traffic by orchestrating their entire lives around their child’s school commute. The route, the timing, the extracurricular activities—all of it hinges on which roads are blocked by the latest metro construction. In fact, I've heard some parents make traffic route decisions with the precision of NASA engineers plotting a space mission. You can almost hear them say, "If we leave now, we can bypass the Hebbal flyover bottleneck by taking that secret road through the back of nowhere, and maybe we'll make it to the school gate by 7:59."

Heck, even grocery shopping has become an act of urban survival. There's no such thing as “popping to the store” when a simple errand requires a 40-minute strategy session. I asked a local colleague where the nearest supermarket was, and he responded with a grim, "Which direction? You might reach one faster by foot." People here stock up on groceries like they're preparing for an apocalypse because no one wants to sit in bumper-to-bumper traffic for an hour just to buy a loaf of bread.

In Bangalore, traffic is more than just a nuisance; it’s a fact of life. It’s the invisible hand that steers every decision, from the mundane to the monumental. When you're here long enough, you learn to live with it, joke about it, and, eventually, you accept that traffic isn't something you fight. It's just something you plan your life around, like an unwanted guest who refuses to leave. (Well, that's a topic for another day!)

Can We Undo the Curse?

Is there a way out of this IT-driven mess? Well, it’s hard to say. Bangalore’s story is one of progress clashing with the limitations of geography and planning. And while the city has made strides in certain areas (like public transport with the metro), it still faces a long battle against the very forces that made it an economic powerhouse.

But for now, while the city continues to bask in its IT-fueled glory, I suggest investing in a good pair of gumboots, a snorkel, and maybe a kayak the next time it rains. Because in Bangalore, you never know when your commute might turn aquatic.

The Delayed Flight Diaries: How Airports Turn Us Into Impulse Shoppers

2024-10-20T14:11:00.005+05:30

Ah, the airport—the one place on Earth where time slows down, your phone battery drains faster than usual, and everything costs as much as your ticket. But today, dear readers, let’s focus on that magical phenomenon: delayed flights and how they transform regular people into temporary impulse shoppers with no sense of fiscal responsibility. I’m writing this while sitting at Pune airport, where my flight to Bangalore has been delayed so many times that I now know the exact sheen of light bouncing off the jewelry store’s shiny necklace displays. Starbucks has a "soon opening" notice, but I guess I might just witness its opening ceremony before my flight actually boards!

Let’s break it down: Why are airports so good at turning us into zombies who swipe credit cards without a second thought? I’ll tell you why—it’s because airports are essentially waiting rooms with stores. And once a flight gets delayed, that room transforms into a psychological battleground, where boredom wrestles common sense and, inevitably, boredom wins. I am writing all this just to prevent myself from falling prey.

The Impulse Shopping Effect: Why Delayed Flights Fuel Consumerism

Imagine this: You’re at the airport, and you have exactly one task—wait. You’ve already refreshed Facebook 84 times, scrolled through the same news feed thrice, and watched your coffee cup cool down. Eventually, that magazine stand or electronics store starts to look appealing in a way it never would if your flight were on time.

Psychologists call this impulse shopping, but I call it "Boredom-Driven Economic Stimulus". I strongly believe that we make poorer financial decisions when bored - like paying 1800 rupees for a neck pillow that you know you won’t need once you get home (or even on the flight)

But what about delayed flights specifically? Here’s the kicker: Delayed flights increase your shopping window. The longer you stay, the more time you have to rationalize that overpriced slice of pizza or that perfume bottle that you’re 99% sure your spouse won’t like (but 1% hopeful they might!). I bet airport store managers secretly root for bad weather.

The "Solo Traveler Syndrome"

Now, I’ve noticed something intriguing—solo travelers are especially vulnerable. Why? Because when you’re alone, you’ve got no one to judge your choices. That wireless speaker you don’t need suddenly looks like a great way to burn time and cash. Who’s going to stop you? Not your seatmate, who’s neck-deep in their own existential crisis. If you were traveling with someone, you’d probably spend time chatting about how terrible the flight delay is or playing "Spot the guy in torn trousers " instead of making regrettable purchases.

On the other hand, groups and couples have a built-in buffer: conversation. The more people in your traveling party, the less time you’ll spend wandering around, aimlessly picking up things you don’t need. But if you’re solo? Oh boy. Airport shops see you coming a mile away.

From Duty-Free to Doomed Wallets

Duty-free shops take the cake based on one's FOMO behaviour. The only time anyone has ever needed a bottle of whiskey the size of a toddler is when their flight has been delayed six hours and counting. Airports have mastered the art of making everything feel urgent: “Last chance to buy a Rs 14,000 pen!” Well, with this flight schedule, it’s either that or staring into space for another hour.

It’s no coincidence that airports are filled with luxury brands, electronics, and food that comes in impossibly small portions for impossibly large prices - small numerator and big denominator. You might not feel the need to buy an ergonomic neck pillow shaped like a flamingo at 9 AM on a Wednesday at your local mall, but give it a three-hour flight delay at Pune airport and suddenly it feels like an absolute must-have. i have been noticing this shop for over 1 hour and at least a 100 people have visited it in this duration.

The Economics of Waiting

Some erudite economist must write a book on this, if not already written.There’s something almost beautiful in how these airport shops cater to our every whim. It’s as if they know you’ve gone through security too early and don’t have anywhere else to be. It’s genius, really—a captive audience with nowhere to go and nothing else to do. Airport economics rely on delayed flights like caffeine addicts rely on their morning coffee.

I crudely estimate that 50% of travelers would indulge in impulse purchases at airports, with delayed travelers spending an average of 25% more than those on time. And, fun fact: people with delayed flights tend to treat themselves to food more often, partly because of stress and partly because, well, food is the only reliable way to kill time that doesn’t involve bankruptcy. The after-effects are not included here.

In Conclusion: Delay Us More!

While I sit here waiting for my flight to Bangalore (that has been delayed another half an hour as I type this), I can’t help but appreciate the psychology behind it all. Airports have cracked the code of delayed flight consumerism. And while it might sting the wallet, there’s also a certain comfort in knowing that we’re all in this together—slowly going broke while trying to pass the time.

So, the next time your flight gets delayed, maybe embrace it. Let the glittering electronics, overpriced sandwiches, and “exclusive” travel-sized colognes wash over you. After all, there’s something liberating about the sheer inevitability of buying something absolutely unnecessary just to make the wait feel a little shorter. Just make sure you have enough cash left for the cab ride home!

Safe travels—whenever your flight actually takes off!

Minutes of the Meeting (MOM)

2024-10-18T15:25:00.001+05:30

Minutes of the Meeting (MOM)

Date: October 18, 2024
Time: 10:00 AM
Location: Synergistic Bhaunk Leadership Conference Room, Level Grrrr

Attendees:

Mr. Uroon Catticus – Chief Feline Officer (CFO)
Mr. Doubleroti Felix – Head of Competitive Disruption
Ms. Ureen Whiskers – Director of Synergy and Innovation
Mr. Pilpil Tailspin – Lead Optimization Evangelist
Angoori & Banshi – Freelance Liquidity Consultants

Agenda:

Maximizing Synergistic Engagement for Cross-Vertical Catnip Integration
Holistic Review of Out-of-the-Box Barking Guidelines
Strategic Disruption of Napping Cycle Workflows (NWCW)
Operationalizing Bhaunk-Leading Pawjects in a Paradigm Shift Context
Business Continuity in Pre-Emergent Liquor-Enhanced Workspaces

Discussion Points:

Maximizing Synergistic Engagement for Cross-Vertical Catnip Integration
- Mr. Uroon Catticus opened the discussion by aligning the KPIs of our horizontal pawprint architecture with downstream meow-focused outputs. He emphasized the critical need to leverage leverage in our go-to-steal strategy for multi-fur engagements.
- Ms. Ureen Whiskers recommended a 360-degree bark-n-meow approach, encompassing the full lifecycle of feline experiences while deep-diving into adjacent tail-wagging markets.
- Mr. Pilpil Tailspin added that we should double-click on expanding our core catnip ecosystem through holistic collaboration, ensuring there’s no tail left unchased in the omnichannel sphere.
Holistic Review of Out-of-the-Box Barking Pipelines
- Mr. Doubleroti Felix provided a forecast that showed a high-impact paradigm shift in the barking sector, driven by hyper-agile noise generation and amplified barking disruptors.
- The team discussed unlocking barking liquidity, with Banshi proposing a reverse woofing mechanism to increase bark-flow without cannibalizing yawn-time revenues.
- Angoori suggested building an end-to-end barking roadmap, pivoting away from linear wag-cycle dynamics and into a cloud-enabled tail-chasing architecture.
Strategic Disruption of Napping Cycle Workflows (NWCW)
- Ms. Ureen Whiskers spearheaded the dialogue on napping cycle innovation, advocating for a proactive rather than reactive nap-loop structure.
- Mr. Uroon Catticus mentioned implementing deep-dive nap analytics, utilizing a nap-to-action framework to capture sleep data synergies.
- Pilpil Tailspin voiced concerns about the frictionless napping conversion rates and suggested a scalable snooze-to-purr pipeline for better alignment with overarching naptime ROI.
Operationalizing Bhaunk-Leading Pawjects in a Paradigm Shift Context
- Mr. Doubleroti Felix presented a blue-sky perspective on pawject management, proposing a two-way tail-swish methodology to streamline outputs without sacrificing high-touch napping solutions.
- The team agreed on the importance of disrupting traditional paw behavior, with Ms. Ureen Whiskers emphasizing the need for value-added scratching post deliverables.
Business Continuity in Pre-Emergent Liquor-Enhanced Workspaces
- Banshi, though slightly liquored up, argued that in a post-catnip world, we need to account for non-linear meow strategies in liquor-enhanced environments to maintain operational continuity.
- Mr. Uroon Catticus seconded this, mentioning that inebriated scalability should be key in any future-forward business strategy.
- Angoori recommended a feline-centric approach to tail-dependent liquidity, while Banshi mumbled something about the horizontal integration of bones and bottles.

Action Items:

Mr. Pilpil Tailspin to circle back on meow-optimization metrics by COB, ensuring barking liquidity is maintained across vertical tail-chasing markets.
Ms. Ureen Whiskers to brainstorm on nap-cloud innovations, focusing on the cross-platform purring environment.
Mr. Uroon Catticus to leverage internal synergies to align with external barking disruptors, with an emphasis on drinking during downtime.
Banshi to recover from post-liquor operational challenges and report on the impact of tail-wagging redundancies by EOD.

Closing Remarks:

Mr. Uroon Catticus adjourned the meeting, reiterating the importance of tail-swishing through noise and napping with purpose in a highly competitive, pre-emergent, liquor-embedded world.

Next Meeting: TBD (subject to the completion of naptime optimization cycles and tail-based KPIs).

The Dogs' Plight on a Diwali Night

2024-10-12T14:06:00.011+05:30

It was a quiet, cool evening in Malibu Towne—perfect for an outdoor movie. The air was still, almost too still, and Angoori, Nanha Sher, and Banshi couldn’t shake off the feeling that something was off. But who cared? Tonight, they had something special to look forward to—the screening of their favorite movie, Bhaunk On, at Central Park!

Pilpil was, as usual, pestering Strawberry for a better spot, while Raspberry lay sprawled out lazily. The dogs of Malibu Towne had gathered, wagging their tails in excitement as the massive screen flickered to life with images of heroic dogs, barking bravely in the face of danger.

Nanha Sher, the young, gullible dog, barked loudly as the movie’s first action sequence unfolded. “I could do that! Look at that jump, Angoori, I’m telling you, I’d nail it!”

Angoori raised an eyebrow. “Sure, Nanha. Just like you nailed the garden hose last week.”

Banshi was already sneaking glances at the snack bowls. “Do you think they have any... refreshments?” He gave a sly smile, his nose twitching at the faint whiff of leftover human spirits. “I could use a little sip to really enjoy this movie, if you know what I mean.”

“No Banshi,” Angoori said firmly, side-eyeing him, “we’re here to watch the movie, not see double halfway through.”

The movie was in full swing, and the dogs were completely absorbed in the epic bark battles on-screen. Even Banshi, momentarily distracted from his drink-seeking mission, laughed loudly at a slapstick scene. But then, just as the dogs were caught up in the climactic chase scene, BOOM—a massive explosion shook the park.

Chaos Strikes

The sky lit up with fireworks. Nanha Sher jumped a foot in the air, his bark cut off mid-sentence. “What was that?! Are they bombing us? Is this part of the movie?!”

“Relax, Sher,” Angoori said, trying to stay calm, but his fur was standing on end. “It’s Diwali... though it sounds more like they’re trying to blow up the moon!”

Banshi was already darting toward the nearest bush. “I knew I should’ve brought a bottle—this is too much for a sober dog to handle!” He squeezed himself between two shrubs, his eyes wide in terror.

Pilpil, shaking, yelped, “Strawberry! Raspberry! Why are they attacking us?” He closed his eyes tightly, hoping it would all disappear. Strawberry rolled her eyes.

“Close your ears too, Pilpil! That’s what humans do when they can’t take the noise,” Strawberry said, covering her own ears with her paws.

Pilpil did the same, and the trio huddled together.

The noise was relentless. Fireworks cracked overhead, sending dogs diving under benches, into bushes, and anywhere they could hide. Nanha Sher, always eager to protect, stood tall for a moment, barking bravely at the sky. “Come at me, fireworks! You don’t scare—” But another explosion sent him scrambling into the alley with Angoori and Banshi.

“I’m brave, but I’m not..... stupid!” Nanha Sher said, panting as the others looked at him in amusement.

Ulukh’s Take

High above in his attic perch, Ulukh, the wise owl, watched the chaos below with a smirk. “Ah, Diwali, the annual event where they think they’re lighting up the sky, but really, they’re scaring the wits out of anything with feathers, fur, or a decent sense of hearing.”

He shook his head, amused but also concerned. “Gone are the days when owls like me were revered as the vahanas of Lakshmi. Now, I’m just a ‘spooky bird’ to be avoided during their greed-fest.They expect the Goddess to visit their houses but her 'vahanas' are all "outta here". He chuckled to himself. “Maybe it’s time I filed that public interest litigation I’ve been thinking about. ‘Save the vahanas,’ anyone?”

From his vantage point, Ulukh could see the dogs darting about in sheer panic. “Poor Banshi,” he muttered. “Always ready for a drink, but when things get real, he dives for cover faster than a squirrel in a nut storm.”

As the fireworks continued, Ulukh contemplated swooping down and offering his friends some sage advice, but he knew it wouldn’t help. “Ah well, at least they’ll all have a story to tell in the morning,” he mused, settling back in his attic.

The Great Escape

Meanwhile, Angoori, Nanha Sher, and Banshi huddled together in the alley. Nanha Sher was still panting, his ears flat against his head. “I don’t get it,” he whimpered. “Why do they do this every year? Are they trying to blow up this beautiful neighborhood?”

Banshi, slowly recovering his usual bravado, peered out from the bushes. “You’d think humans would come up with quieter ways to show off their money. But no, it’s all ‘BOOM, BOOM, BOOM!’” He shook his head. “I swear, I need a drink.”

Nanha Sher still couldn't put two and two together. "If they really love these kind of banging noises, why don't they hit each other's cars again and again. It makes the same sort of noise without the smoke and it will be fun, won't it be?"

Banshi, looking at Nanha Sher, responded "Idiot! You think that will be fun? Every action has its consequences. What are we going to run after if all cars are broken? Ever thought about that?"

Angoori sighed, his composure starting to return. “We just have to wait it out. Diwali doesn’t last forever... right? or does it?”

At that moment, Pilpil, Strawberry, and Raspberry appeared, squeezing into the narrow alley. Pilpil, eyes wide and trembling, piped up, “Is it over yet?”

“Not yet, kid,” Angoori said with a wry smile. “But don’t worry, we’ve got Banshi here to keep us entertained with his... 'hero-hic' tales.”

Banshi shot him a look. “Hey, I’m still standing, aren’t I? Unlike Nanha Sher, who’s practically shaking in his fur!”

“I’m not scared!” Nanha Sher barked, his tail betraying him as it tucked firmly between his legs. “I’m... just strategically retreating.”

The group settled in, trying to find some sanity amidst the madness. The noise raged on, but at least they had each other—and Banshi’s not-so-secret stash of “refreshments” he’d miraculously discovered behind the bushes.

By the time the fireworks finally died down, the dogs were exhausted but grateful to have survived another Diwali.

“Next year,” Pilpil said, “I’m staying inside. Maybe humans will finally get the hint.”

Ulukh, watching from above, chuckled softly to himself. “Not a chance, Pilpil. Not a chance.”

And so, the dogs of Malibu Towne limped home, their movie night ruined, but their spirits not entirely broken. After all, with friends like these, even the loudest Diwali couldn’t keep them down for long.

They could still hear the song from Bhaunk On in the background:

आसमां है रोता क्यूँ

पानी नहीं धोता क्यूँ

हिलती क्यों है ज़मीन

घांस नहीं है नरम क्यूँ

आती नहीं है शर्म क्यूँ

सोचता तू क्यूँ नहीं?

पेड़ हो गए कम क्यों

बिगड़ गए मौसम क्यूँ

देखता तू क्यूँ नहीं?

(सोचा है) ये तुमने क्या कभी

(सोचा है) की है ये क्या सभी

(सोचा है) सोचा नही तो सोचो अभी

Malibu Towne : Dogs vs Cars

2024-10-02T11:46:00.049+05:30

It was a warm afternoon in Malibu Towne. The once-quiet colony had been overrun with sleek cars, SUVs, and an endless stream of vehicles zipping through every lane. Angoori, the the golden brown furry dog, sat by the park, his usually calm demeanor shattered by a constant honking noise.

"These cars!" he groaned, flicking his tail in annoyance. "They're everywhere now! No peace to run, no place to rest. Worse, these honk at us, as if...as if we are nobodies!"

Banshi, the robust German Shepherd known for his liquor-induced antics, was sprawled out near a patch of bushes. "Maybe I should start chasing them again," he muttered, "but I can’t keep up like I used to. And besides... after my last 'accident' with the garbage truck, I'd rather not."

Nanha Sher, the huge and intimidating doberman, pranced around, his fur twitching. “There’s no room left! Even the bushes are getting squished between parked cars. And don’t get me started on the fumes. All this smoke makes my coat smell like an exhaust pipe!”

Just then, Pilpil, the scrawny mongrel, trotted by, followed by his loyal companions Strawberry and Raspberry—both of whom were notoriously mischievous. “Hey, look!” Pilpil barked, darting straight toward a luxury sedan. “Bet I can nip its tires and leave my signature before it moves!” His friends, Strawberry, a high-strung Poodle, and Raspberry, a playful Beagle, giggled and egged him on.

"Pilpil, NO!" Angoori howled, but it was too late. The trio dashed around the car, barking madly and running circles until the driver honked furiously, sending them skittering off.

"Idiots," muttered Banshi, shaking his head. “They don’t get it. These cars are a menace.”

The trio of troublemakers disappeared around the corner, leaving Angoori, Banshi, and Nanha Sher to their frustrations. “We need to do something about this,” Angoori said.

As they brooded, they noticed Mr. Brown, Mr. White, and Mr. Black—the old, retired dogs—lazily lounging under the shade of a tree. These three wise old-timers had seen Malibu Towne change over the last fifteen years, and their memories held the key to a simpler time.

Mr. Brown, a once-dashing Labrador with a coat faded by age, noticed the younger dogs' frustration. “Back in our day,” he began, his voice slow but steady, “there were fewer and smaller cars. People walked around. Even the postman Deepak, used to go on a bicycle!”

“Exactly! By the way, I think Deepak still sticks to his old ways.” Mr. White, a former Dalmatian, added, “We could run across the streets, chase a squirrel without dodging bumpers. Now… it’s all steel and smoke.”

Mr. Black, a towering Great Dane, sighed deeply. “But times have changed, no denying that.”

Angoori’s ears perked up. “What can we do, then? The colony is big, but there’s just no space for all these cars. They’re everywhere. At least, the bunglows can keep their cars inside. And some other houses also that have at least one parking spot inside their space.”

After some deep thinking, the trio of wise dogs, along with Angoori, Banshi, and Nanha Sher, began discussing solutions.

Solution 1: Designated Parking Zones

Mr. White suggested, “We need more space for ourselves. We should somehow indicate to the humans about creating designated parking zones, places where cars are allowed to park or drive. And leave the open spaces for us and other humans to walk, run and rest.”

“That would be nice,” Angoori nodded. “Maybe not around the parks but in some of the wider lanes. Maybe the humans can mark the parkings with paint so that no one steps on anyone else's paws (or tires). A little walk to their cars will have sanguine effects on their health too.

Solution 2: Vertical Parking

Mr. Black, ever the thinker, proposed, “The humans need to start thinking upwards. Vertical parking structures. If they can build houses that way, why not park that way? It’s not like they don’t have the money. Imagine if all these cars were parked in tall buildings, freeing up the streets.”

Nanha Sher’s eyes gleamed. “More room to run around without tripping over bumpers! I like it.”

Solution 3: Car-Free Zones

Banshi, though slightly slurred in speech (due to his earlier indulgence in the leftover liquor), came up with the last idea. “For some areas like around central park… no cars! We convince the humans to declare a Car-Free Zone. Everyone walks or cycles. It'll give us time to roam the streets like we used to.”

Mr. Brown chuckled. “It’s ambitious, but I like the spirit. Some zones without cars could make a difference. It will become safer for children too, our primary benefactors.”

The group felt a sense of hope. If the humans could listen to these ideas, maybe Malibu Towne could return to some of its former charm. More space for running, less danger, and quieter afternoons.

As the sun began to set, Angoori stretched and sighed. “Well, at least we have a plan. But let’s start small. I’ll rally the other dogs tomorrow. Banshi, maybe you can stay sober for that conversation?”

Banshi snorted. “No promises. Meanwhile, let's watch the screening of the movie 'Bhaunk on' in central park.”

And with that, they made their way to the central park, cautiously dodging the many cars littering the streets. Somewhere in the distance, Pilpil and his gang barked at another passing vehicle, much to the dismay of yet another frustrated driver.

The Chronicles of Malibu Towne: A Mosquito’s Tale

2024-09-07T11:37:00.006+05:30

I am Buzzeldor, a proud descendant of the ancient line of Malibu Towne mosquitoes. We’ve lived in this lush enclave for generations, thriving amidst the greenery, serene ponds, and the oh-so-convenient open windows of careless humans. Malibu Towne, with its sprawling villas and green cover, is a paradise like no other, especially for a mosquito like me. But our story is not without its troubles.

I remember the day I first spread my wings over the beautifully manicured lawns of Sector 47. My mother, Queen Stingabella, had told me of the endless opportunities that awaited me. The night was young, and the scent of warm, unprotected skin filled the air.

“Buzzeldor,” she said, “this is your kingdom now. You are the rightful heir to the airwaves of Malibu Towne. Go, spread your buzz, and take what is yours.”

As I flew through the cool night breeze, I passed by my old friends, Dartonus and Whizzara. They were enjoying a feast near WW 32, where the humans had gathered outside for a barbecue. Dartonus, the most daring of us, had already taken three good sips of blood and was flying in dizzy loops.

“Buzzeldor! You're late to the feast!” he exclaimed as he darted around a sleepy child who had just nodded off in a lounge chair.

"Had to dodge a few humans swatting around in WW 19. They’ve become restless lately. But tonight—tonight is ours!” I replied confidently.

Just as we were about to dive into our feast, the sky darkened. A low, menacing hum filled the air. It was a sound we all dreaded: the defogger.

“NOOO!” screamed Whizzara, her wings trembling. “Not again! It’s the Unwanted!”

You see, humans have this obnoxious ritual they call ‘defogging.’ Every few weeks, these vile machines roll in, spewing thick, noxious clouds into the air. They think it will get rid of us, but little do they know, we always find a way back.

The younger mosquitoes, like Dartonus, would panic every time the mist approached. But the older, wiser mosquitoes, those like my mother, had learned to hide in the deep crevices of the old banyan tree, or beneath the gutters near the golf course. Still, it was an unpleasant experience.

“The Unwanted... they think they can erase us,” I muttered, hovering close to the ground to avoid the first wave of mist. “But we are the rulers of Malibu Towne. We shall endure.”

We took cover, watching as the humans celebrated the arrival of the defogging trucks. “They think they’ve won,” said Dartonus bitterly, wiping a drop of mist from his wings.

“They’ll never truly get rid of us,” I said, my tone resolute. “But we must be smart. Our time to strike will come again. Tonight, we rest. Tomorrow, we feast.”

As the humans danced in their victory, thinking they had reclaimed their lawns and patios, I huddled under a leaf with my fellow mosquitoes. The mist would clear, and when it did, Malibu Towne would once again belong to us.

Later that night, when the fog had lifted and silence returned, Whizzara, Dartonus, and I regrouped. We flew over the villas, now dark and peaceful. The humans had retreated indoors, believing they were safe. But I knew better.

“You see,” I said, turning to my companions, “the defogging is but a fleeting nuisance. Tomorrow, they will open their windows again. They’ll sit by the pool, relax on their terraces, and we—”

“—we shall rise,” finished Dartonus, his eyes gleaming.

And so, our buzzing symphony continued, a reminder to the humans of Malibu Towne that no defogging truck, no matter how strong, could ever truly claim victory over us. We are mosquitoes. We are eternal.

And Malibu Towne will always be our kingdom.

Ramlila - The Kalyug chapter

2013-10-18T13:48:00.004+05:30

On the 13th of October 2013, I was an audience to a Ramlila performance at Kanpur. It would be unfair to describe it as anything less than pure entertainment, albeit not the way the organizers had intended it to be. Few salient observations were as under:

1. Ram and Ravan were fighting with just one hand. The other one was holding a microphone;

2. There were regular hold-ups in their performance, as the organizers kept announcing and garlanding VIPs. Its great to be a VIP, though I wasn't;

3. There were regular promotional announcements including some school, letoo ram halwai, chepu ram aata chakki and the like. Of course, our warriors were put on pause during such phases;

4. There were promotional dialogues uttered by Ram to Ravana, telling him that he is not really the intellectual he claims to be as he did not attend little angels Montessori school where latest educational teaching methods are applied. Poor Ravan had no answer;

5. Ravan once had to ask Ram to resume the duel by saying "chalo, ladte hain, theek hai?";

6. There was some child lost and his mother ensured that the announcement was made every 5 mins. Once the child was found, the mother went missing, to the utter chagrin of the announcers and organizers.

7. The fireworks were great, and what made it more interesting was the fact that 2 fireworks contractors, namely Kalloo Aatishbaaj and Ghaseeta Ali, were competing; Till now I found Zimbabwean names like Tendai Chatara more interesting. Not anymore!

8. There were orders being placed for sweet pans for the VIPs and their stooges over the public address system.

9. Once, Ram slipped while aiming an arrow at Ravan. Our Ravan was a true gentleman, who stepped ahead, offered his hand to Ram to pick himself up, and take a potshot at Ravan again.

There was more to it, but words can not always do justice to certain experiences. Of course, for everything else, there's social media! There was more to it, but words can not always justice to certain experiences. Of course, for everything else, there's social media!

Parasites of the 21st Century

2012-09-09T11:14:00.003+05:30

I was woken up by a phone call this morning. I normally wake up before any normal callers do, however, today being a Sunday, and wifey dear was already out birding, I was least expecting anyone else waking me up.

Anyway, the caller was an uncle from my native neighbourhood and had called up to remind me of something. There's some background to that "something".

He had contacted me to help his nincompoop son find a suitable job in NCR. Now, the definition of "help" is different for people depending on their backgrounds. For me it was as honest as the Oxford dictionary defines help. For him it has been that "jugaad" types, something I have never specialised in. I know that. People don't.

Any sensible person would understand that people have to build their skills for the career that wish to pursue. No one else can do that for a person. It takes commitment and hard work. This uncle of mine, and millions of his isotopes do not, however, understand that. The corrupt background of post independence India has a lot to do with their upbringing. Their children learn nothing better. I feel sorry for them as laws of nature are not corrupt, and make everyone looking for shortcuts struggle sometime they would least be ready for it.

I get such calls from more than one known person looking for such help for their offspring. I know I can do nothing for them. I tell the same in so many words time and again, but people understand only what they want to. I have tried to guide the real subjects in question, just to realise that they too find it hard to think honestly and with uprightness. Poor souls.

My humble message to all those parasites of the 21st century who look for such help - go to hell! ..... And never disturb my sleep again!

Sent from my iPad

Divinity??? or is it???

2012-03-06T18:04:00.001+05:30

The opinion that God does not exist will not go down well with society as it exists today.

How do we know that God really exists? Have we ever questioned His existence? Most of us haven't. We haven't because it's considered blasphemous. We haven't because everyone around us (well almost) believes to an extent that God exists and will punish us for our misdeeds. Questioning His existence is also a misdeed, as most believe. If all were God-fearing there would have been no sin on Earth. Does that mean that we control our actions that could be otherwise be "misdeeds"? Not so often. Have we lost the fear of God? Does he really exist?

If we look at our Hindu scriptures, we see that there are 84,00,00,000 deities or "Devtas". Every deity signifies some force of nature. Examples include Sun, wind, fire, rain etc. These, like many others, are forces of nature that mankind has not been able to tame. It will never be able too. They play a vital part in our lives. In fact, there is life because of a very delicate combination of these forces acting where we live. When this balance tilts a bit, life gets into trouble. Our forefathers, over generations, personified each of these forces into a deity - someone, or more aptly, something, to be respected and worshipped. The respect was necessary as we were at the mercy of these forces. We always will be. I think, it was not easy for people to respect these forces as just forces, even in those ages, hence deification came into being. Not everyone thought so much, and easily accepted that these devtas were there all around us. They went on to believe that these devtas will protect us if we worship them, else there fury will be let loose. The facts were correct, but the interpretation with time changed. As older generations passed knowledge to the new ones, the relation between forces of nature and their personification blurred. Modern humans, thus, documented the existence of devtas / deities as divine beings with a conscience and a direct hand in the governance of everything.

If we look at scriptures of other faiths, similar stories would be found. All may refer to different deities, different saints, different stories of the origin of life, but all personify each and every force they came across. The ones who could relate to forces and their deification had not developed writing skills. The one who wrote the scriptures, were too late in existence than their forefathers who could relate. The result is for us to see. We look at Gods as divine beings, who can think, decide, reward and punish based on our deeds.

If we go back to where it all started, these concepts still hold good. If we don't treat any force of nature well, it will certainly return favors. Take this example : As I write, we are playing with our environment. We are, slowly and gradually, looting nature off its resources. We are disrespecting God. Nature has its own ways of retaliating. It is retaliating and will do so with higher furore in years to come. Hurricanes will be stronger. Floods will be more devastating. Ecosystem will crack down with vanishing animal and plant species. Finally, we will go extinct with a breakage in this natural cycle. Mind you, there is no divine hand in all this. This is just nature, that lives by its rules - rules that we are still in the process of understanding as physics, chemistry, biology, geology, cosmology, etc.

Science and faith find it hard to co-exist. This is largely because the faith we follow gets ingrained into us since we gain consciousness. Depending on which family one is born into, we are taught about that faith's version of God. The very fact that we write "God" with a capital G is an example of how faith has made it into the rules of English language. No one is taught to question the existence of God. As I wrote earlier, its blasphemous. We grow up with the same notion and its further pumped into our minds from all parts of society. People build and visit places of worship. People put up an image or a statue of their deity in their homes. Its hard to question something so well established. Science does.

With research, we have uncovered so many facts about nature, about the universe around us and about life. We are constantly moving ahead in our quest for knowledge. What was once thought of as a miracle has found a scientific explanation (eg Lunar Eclipse of the Rahu-Ketu fame). What was once thought impossible is commonplace now (eg. Aircraft). There are still many mysteries unsolved. But we aren't done yet. With more research, many more unexplained truths will find an explanation. We will go on to understand how life started. We will go on to understand why species evolve and how. We will understand what is dark matter and dark energy. We will understand what's lies inside a black hole. Whatever be the actual answers to these questions, I am sure, there is no divine hand behind them. Its all how nature works, just that we are still learning.

GOD, or is HE?

2012-03-02T22:22:00.003+05:30

Till 500 years back we "knew" that the Earth was flat. Till 400 years back we "knew" that we were the center of the universe. Till about 15 years back we "knew" that the universe's expansion was slowing down. There are many more things that we "know" right now.

The concept of God of the gaps was designed to find a middle path to science and faith. This way both schools of thought co-exist, at least until the gaps are all removed.

The creation of the universe (Big Bang or otherwise), the creation of life and subsequent evolution of species still leave many questions for science to answer. With time and further research, many will be answered. We, as a species, may not last so long as to get to all answers, but still, there would be a reality to every question, and hence its answer.....somewhere.

I think nature itself is the God we are looking for. It has its own rules that we classify as physics, chemistry, biology etc. It is not a divine being. Period. It does not have good or bad "feelings" for anyone or anything. It has laws and it follows them. It's us who misinterpret its laws or take them for granted and end up getting "punished". (For example, Global warming is a punishment coming our way for fiddling with nature). Nature is not limited to Earth. It's across the entire universe and beyond it if there's anything like it.

We deify every force that is too huge for us. Sun becomes a deity. Wind becomes a deity. So do fire, water, Earth etc. In a way that's correct. After all, we need to respect all insurmountable forces. But, none of these forces have a divine hand running them. There is no conscious being discriminating between good and bad for these forces. They just act as they should. The sum of all these forces with the laws governing them constitute nature, or, as I think - GOD.

Life is an accident : Part 2

2011-09-07T23:11:00.004+05:30

This is in sequence to my previous blog on the same topic. Reading this without reading that will make no sense. There is no guarantee that it will make sense otherwise either. Still read on.....

Our universe has a rich history, much richer than all the wealth of our planet combined. It started about 13.82 billion years ago and will end in just about 10^100 years (1 followed by 100 zeros - a googol). What happens in between is listed below. These are some important events that shaped our history or will shape our future, cosmologically, on a time scale:

PAST (Just notice how the zero's come down)

Current age of the universe = 13.82 Billion years (13,820,000,000)
Current age of Milky way= 12.7+/-0.7 billion years (12,700,000,000)
Current age of the Solar system = 8.7 Billion years (8,700,000,000)
Current age of the earth = 4.54 Billion years (4,540,000,000)
Time since life existed on Earth = 3.85 billion years ago (3,850,000,000)
Time since Mamal life existed on Earth = 225 Million years ago (225,000,000) (Thrived only after dinosaurs got extinct 65 Mn years ago)
Time since any Human species existed on Earth = 3 Million years ago (3,000,000)
Time since Homo Sapiens existed on Earth = 100,000 years

PRESENT (Just think how we are messing it up)

FUTURE (Just notice how the zeros go up)

Time left for Earth's continents to collide into a super continent "Pangea Ultima" = 250 Million years (250,000,000)
Time left for Earth's surface to heat up so much that no liquid water is left = 1.4 Billion years (1,400,000,000) <-- This would be due to solar activity. Sun would be 10% hotter than today.Time left for Milky way & Andromeda to start colliding = 3 billion years (3,000,000,000)
Time left for Sun to turn into a red Giant and swallow Earth = 5.4 billion years (5,400,000,000)
Time left for Sun to blast out and turn into a white dwarf = 7.8 Billion years (7,800,000,000)
Time left for the White Dwarf to cool down to a black dwarf = 10^17 years (100,000,000,000,000,000)
Time left for all Galaxies to boil off, one by one = 10^19 years (10,000,000,000,000,000,00)
Time left for all Galactic clusters to boil off, one by one = 10^23 years (100,000,000,000,000,000,000,000)
Time left for black holes to start decaying = 10^38 years (100,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000)
Time left for all black holes to completely decay = 10^100 years (1 followed by 100 zeros)
Time left for all energy of the universe to dissipate = 10^100 years <-- End of the universe.

Now, if you notice, Homo Sapiens (Modern humans) are just 0.1 million years old. The upper limit of the existence would certainly be put by the time left for Earth's surface to heat up so much that there would be no liquid water left (1.4 billion years). In fact, that is taking things too far. We, would not survive a much smaller temperature increase. The timeline for that is debatable, but certainly millions of years before this stage.

The stage when all continents collide into one supercontinent - Pangea Ultima, seems innocuous to the uninitiated. Make no mistake. Continents do not move like ocean liners. There would be a tremendous tectonic activity to make that happen. In other words, there would be millions of volcano eruptions and billions of earthquakes en route. Life has to bear some brunt. Also, by then the average temperature of our planet would have risen by 25 deg +, making it impossible for creatures that exist today to survive that long. There would still be life, but not as we know it today. Humans, if existent anywhere, in mutated intelligent species, would not be on earth for sure.

Hence, 250 Million years from now seems a more reasonable time frame when humans or our descendant species would certainly cease to exist. It may be much earlier due to climatic changes, shift on magnetic polarity, solar storms etc.

Now, focus at the last timeline, the end of the universe (known universe) - 10^100 years or so. If we compare the very optimistic figure of 250 million years to this time frame, the fraction of time humans are supposed to exist is smaller than the time we spend on just one blink during our lifetime. It insignificant from the time angle as well.

The point of this entire discussion is to prove that we have very little time to live. Let's not waste it in fighting amongst our own kind and make it smaller. We are anyway and accident in the larger scheme of things, and nothing is going to come to our rescue if we don't keep ourselves alive.

Note: There is plenty of credit to Wikipedia, Cosmos Magazine, Discovery channel, HubbleSite and my 100s of readings over the internet. All facts and figures quoted are from reliable sources and can be used, if not for anything else, to educate children. The pictures carry their copyrights embedded.

Also check: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Timeline_of_the_Big_Bang

Hooray! Hooray! Its a rainy day!!!

2011-08-28T12:22:00.001+05:30

Rainy days were fun. The ways in which an adult looks at rainy days is quite different than how a child does. Thankfully, all of us do get the opportunity to live both stages. While we pray to God to control the downpour to prevent water logging and thus traffic jams en route to our workplaces, youngsters would not be on our side as it may help an unplanned holiday at school - the always welcome, but never expected rainy day!!!

I remember my younger days at Methodist High School, Kanpur with respect to rainy days. Thought they weren't many, whatever came our way were more than welcome.

Many, like me, used to communte via a charted school bus. Many others used bicycles and in senior school days bikes/scooters. The richer ones had cars with someone to drop them. No matter what the means of transportation was, it wasn't easy to make it to our school that was located in the cantonment area, and reasonably far for most of the city dwellers. No wonder, our school, just like others in the vicinity, used to declare a rainy day when the heavens opened up, if I may add - reasonably.

The feeling of ecstasy that used to shoot up within us on hearing the good news can't be explained. There are definitely some feelings that words can't express and for everything else, there is FaceBook today. Those were the days when there was no Internet at least not what it is today). Since the decision to call off school was taken at runtime, there was little that could be done to inform students and their wards. If there were heavy rains any week-morning, most of the parents used to call up school to confirm, while we prayed to God to answer from the other end saying "Yes". My parents, teachers themselves, however, preferred to wait for my bus, send me packed, and be surprised to see me back (happy) of a rainy day.

Rainy days were the busiest days of our school life. It was as if we'd got an extra day added to our lifetimes. It was a day to play cricket in wet fields. It was a day to play football. It was a day to play any of our indoor games with our neighborhood kids who were enjoying the same freedom. It used to be a day to watch movies on the now dead VCRs. It was a day to accomplish a lot. Of course, it wasn't a day to look at school books.Well almost, unless one's parents were teachers themselves. We simply loved the monsoons. We were deaf to our parents' worries of us catching a cold by getting wet.

On the day following the rainy day, we used to notice our sports field shining with a layer of water and with some Frog's around playing a high jump. The goal posts of our football field used to have about a thousand amphibians in between. The smell of freshly washed trees was just great.

There should be a concept of rainy days at work too. Not that I mind rains now, but the times have changed. More cars, fewer roads, weak drainage, and lesser open land do not make rains look as good in our city now. I recently saw a full rainbow while driving into Gurgaon on NH-8. It did remind me that rainy days are still as beautiful as they were earlier, we need to be at the right place at the right time.

Mr Prime Minister - Please read & act

2011-08-17T13:12:00.002+05:30

Very recently, I read an email that quoted a letter from the editor of TOI Mumbai, to the Indian prime minister. It's irrelevant that neither the quality of grammar and spelling errors did not signify that an editor can write that, nor that I could locate it in any of the recent TOI Mumbai editions. What matters is that the writer brought up some very good points (and very obvious) - for us and for the prime minister.

1. Black money - He quoted a very common and familiar fact. While trying to buy a house in Mumbai, all builders he approached, demanded about 30% of the price in black. Don't all of us know this? Isn't this so commonplace that one couldn't have lived to be an adult without knowing this? Yes, all the intelligence of our governments and CBI have no clue that this exists! Because, if they did know, something significant would have been done to check this. The enormity of the issue puts the CBI & government's efforts, if any, in that direction, as a niggardly pittance.

2. The head of our nation - The president of India, is a worthless lady who wasn't known to 99.99% of the voting population until she was about to come to power. She replaced someone whom the world regarded for his contribution in the field of science, and then as a leader and a visionary, Dr. Abul Kalam. She wasn't a complete no one. She was somewhat known for the corruption charges against her earlier. Today, she's the supreme head of all 3 wings of defense. Will our brave defense personnel want to report to her and follow her orders? What morale will they have? Will someone like you and me wants to be under her supervision? Is she the face we want to show of our nation to the world?

3. More Black money - The Swiss bank has claimed to have approximately 280 Lakh Crore INR under Indian account holders. I assume that no humble person of legal means would deposit his money there. Our leaders should get the names of the account holders out from the Swiss Bank and do justice to the wolves amongst us. I know the very first doubt will be cast over the figure above. News channels will get into endless debates and with time the effect will fade away. It will be business as usual later. If our government has any spine, this is exactly what it needs to prevent. However, if it does, we'll have no government left. Just like we open up a bank account when starting our career, politicians open up one in Swiss banks once inducted into the government. See the analogy.

The above observations are not mine, but I fully endorse them. Thanks to Rajat Misra for forwarding that mail to me.

And the top score is .....ZERO!

2011-07-24T12:30:00.000+05:30

In college days we learn to live with surprises, almost everyday. Surprised at our curriculum, surprised at our teachers, surprised at our batchmates, surprised at our freedom!

I can vividly recall one of the Fluid Mechanics classes, where we were handed a surprise test by our professor. It was a 10 min quiz with just one problem.....and problem it really was. I'll resume from here later, however let me explain the ecosystem of this surprise quiz first:

1. We were always expected to expect surprises;

2. The quiz could contain something taught recently, but could require all the wisdom accrued since childhood;

3. The answer sheet had our name written on top, in the centre, and those of our immediate neighbors on top right & top left. This was a precaution to unearth the obvious.

4. 10 mins were 9 mins or even less, but who could counter the professor

Back to reality now - There was a problem staring at us, and there were 10 excruiciating minutes to resolve it, on paper of course. Though I wasn't too bad of a student, this quiz looked as impossible as walking from Earth to Mars on a rope.

All of us (58 minus the absentees, I believe), were stumped and kept toggling between looking at the problem statement and each other. Whatever be the solution, we did something and handed our papers back to the professor.

The next day, the professor proudly announced that the papers have been evaluated, and the highest score was (few hearts stopped for a moment) ..... ZERO!

Well, this didn't surprise us.....there was no practical or impractical reason to expect anything different.

".....and the lowest score is.....", he went on to say " ..... MINUS FIVE (-5)".

Few speculative seconds later, he announced the names of 7 students who got that dubious distinction. " I could notice these guys copied from their neighbor!, hence the penalty of -5!".

I wasn't one of these 7 , hence felt proud to have been a joint topper with 50 others.

The moments that followed, saw the professor pairing people who were neighbors and had copied. Seven is an odd number. How could all be paired? Of course, there was a group of 3 who had an identical approach, albeit wrong as off others. One of them , a close friend of mine, was however sitting at a very remote location that the other two who had approached the problem in the same way. The professor still did not wish to honor his request to be awarded a zero.

Professor : " I still can not believe that you did not copy from the other two. Your approach is identical. How's it possible?"

Student : "But Sir,your question was also identical for all of us." (Smiles) <-- not a good gesture here

Professor : "Oh yes! I had heard that wise men think alike."

Student (Meekly) " Sir, I meant, even fools do." <-- Again, not a good gesture, What if he understood his insinuation?

Professor (After thining for a while) : "Ok. But, if I ever see your solution identical to anyone else in future, I'll deduct -10 from your score. All right?!"

The Lion King

2011-07-19T21:57:00.028+05:30

Yet another blog on "The Lion King". Having read so many well-compiled blogs on this movie, I wonder what I may add to my reader’s interest, but my journey as a blogger would be incomplete without a tribute to this animation movie, that had me enchanted when I saw it for the first time. I have seen it for the first time for at least 50 times by now and it still manages to have me spellbound.

The theme resembles a typical Bollywood movie, but the manner in which it is presented is way beyond what most of our directors can fathom.

Its a story of good versus the evil, of fundamental rights versus over ambition and of love versus hatred. It teaches (or reminds) us of the basic principles of life that we often tend to overlook.

The movie begins with the birth of Simba, the son of Mufasa, the current king of the pride lands, and Soravi. All subjects assemble to have a first look at their future ruler as Rafiki, the old monkey, lifts him up for public display. The background music is well chosen and reaches a crescendo as Simba is saluted by one and all.

Simba starts growing up and keeps learning lessons directly from his wise father and at times through his overambitious moves. He gets his best friend Nala into some trouble as well. Zazu, Mufasa’s loyal dodo, keeps a watchful eye on most of Simba’s moves, much to the dislike of the latter.

Simba’s uncle, Scar, was the only one who could not jump with joy as Simba overtook him as the heir to Mufasa’s throne. Scar did all that a villain is supposed to do to get Mufasa and Simba out of his way. He befriended the hyenas and conspired to kill Simba and Mufasa in the same shot. He failed once, but on another fateful day succeeded to eliminate Mufasa. He made young Simba believe that he was the one responsible for his father’s untimely demise. Simba fled the pridelands, fearing that his mother and friends would never forgive him for that. Simba was broken and completely confused about what to do next. Meanwhile, Scar sent his faithful subjects (read the hyenas) to kill Simba as well. They made Simba run for his life and assumed that he would never return.

Simba runs as far as his feet could take him. He finally passes out due to dehydration and fatigue, only to be discovered by Timone - the meerkat and Pumbaa - the warthog and a new chapter in Simba’s life begins. They are a funny duo and believe in "Hakuna Matata" - a phrase that means no worries. Hence began Simba’s unlearning - of all the acts of responsibility that his father had been teaching him. Simba started running from all bad things that had happened to him and started enjoying life with Timon and Pumba in a carefree manner.

Simba grows up to be a strong lion, probably unaware of his strength and position on top of the food chain. As destiny would have it, he meets Nala and she urges him to return to his rightful position, as the true king of the pride lands. Rafiki, in his own uncanny ways, finds out that Simba is alive and goes out in search of his king. Both of them manage to convince him to return to prideland, to fight his uncle Scar, and to go on to reclaim his rightful position as the Lion King. What follows his return to his home, is a fight of Simba and Scar, both accompanied by their loyal followers. Scar is forced to reveal his little secret - that HE killed Mufasa during the scuffle. Finally, Simba wins and takes his position as the new Lion King.

I find a number of scenes and dialogues from the movie worth a mention:

1. When Mufasa’s spirit appears and reminds Simba of his responsibility. "You are more than what you’ve become". Well, I have heard this voice before, when someone told me the same. Haven’t all of us heard this sometime or the other?

2. When Rafiki shows Simba’s reflection to him telling him that that is his father. "Look harder, he lives in you". He goes on to say "The Past can hurt, but the way I look at it - you can either run from it or learn from it".

3. When Simba, Timon, and Pumba were lying down on the grass and looking at stars. Timon thinks that " they are fireflies that got stuck up in the big bluish thing out there", while Pumba feels that "those are balls of gas burning millions of miles away.". Simba avoids getting into the discussion as it reminded him of what his father used to say about stars - "Great kings of the past will be there to guide you and so will I".

4. When Zazu unveils the truth before Simba and Nala that they were set to be betrothed in future to the dismay of both. "She’s my friend, I can’t marry her," says Simba. Nala acknowledging responds "That would be so weird!". Innocence personified (Lionified?).

The soundtrack does equal justice to the overall ambiance. "The circle of life" and " Can you feel the love tonight?" are very soothing songs. Elton John’s version is even more enchanting.

It is a movie worth watching for the young as well as the old. If you haven’t watched this one so far, I would recommend you to do so now, and you will realize what you have been missing, and I’m not the only one saying that!

PS: My ID has been inspired by this movie.

The city of dust

2011-07-19T21:46:00.000+05:30

Dated: 19th July 2011

This blog is more of my personal take on a city where I have been staying for about 14 years now. I have stopped being surprised now, else I would have been surprised to see Gurgaon listed under tourist spots. Why? Just read on .....

Gurgaon was known a Guru Gram in the days of Mahabharata, as Guru Dronacharya’s ashram was situated somewhere here (I don’t know which tower or metro station stands on it today!). It was one of the sleepy towns of Haryana till the late ’80s and the early ’90s, till something quite radical happened. Haryana government decided to build a city of the future with world-class infrastructure in Gurgaon. Since its elbows touched the national capital, and a highway joining New Delhi to Jaipur passed through it, the idea was geographically viable. That’s how the story the city of dust began.

The ball has been rolling for nearly 2 decades now, and the landscape of Gurgaon has undergone a transformation similar to chicken pox on an otherwise healthy person’s body.

Some for the salient features of Gurgaon are as under:

1. Suspended Particulate Matter (SPM) or Dust: This currently remains between 15000 to 18000 parts per million as against the permissible limit of 500 ppm. With a few cubic kilometers of Earth being dug and moved at any point in time, this ought to happen. A major portion of the dust is respirable and a possible cause of several respiratory ailments. I personally suffer from a very sensitive nose (or just sinus). It does help me in distinguishing among various food delicacies, but the flip side is that I have a hard time in dusty surroundings. I am sure there are others in the same club.

2. Drainage / Sewage: Yes, I prefer to discuss them in the same category. In developed nations, drain water has a different outflow passage, while sewage has its own path, as both require different kinds of treatment. In Gurgaon, the authorities somehow fail to understand this. There is a project called "Master storm project" going on throughout the city. That, apart from adding its cubic kilometers of dust to #.1 above, is supposed to take care of draining out rainwater to some waterbody (I didn’t care to research) and preventing Venice like experience during rains. Since we do not have proper water drainage system around, even 30 mins of good rainfall are good enough to bring Venice here.

3. Power (or the lack of it). Ahh, how could I overlook this? In a place, arguably hailed as the Singapore of India, 6-12 hours of the power supply is always there. On a lucky day, it may go as high as 15 hours. Inverters and DG sets fill the rest of the time and the atmosphere with greenhouse gasses. On a few legendary power cut days, inverters do run out of charge as well, reminding us of our modest past. Since the dozens of Malls here have their own power backups, I don’t mind spending some time there in the cool ambiance while power Gods are angry.(That has an associated cost too!)

4. Roads (or again the want of them). There is something special about Gurgaon’s roads. They are spoilt after every decent downpour, and they get re-built overnight, just to wait for another downpour. More interestingly, all the cabling and plumbing projects wait for roads to be re-built before digging portions again for their work. The after effects can be seen until the next rebuild. Another interesting fact is about the spine breakers well.....er...speed breakers I meant. These are invisible to all drivers and are present where no one can speed. These are very smooth where one can speed, just enough to prevent the need to slow one’s vehicle. Besides, the fun of driving on the surface of the Moon is an experience worth envy.

5. Real Estate: The prices are very unreal and getting more and more out of the reach of the poor and the honest. Every Tom, Dick and Harry is a real estate agent (even the roadside chai wala). Original bookings are nearly non-existant, while houses on re-sale cost a fortune (including a whopping black component). House rents have also soared like a Tsunami wave, thanks to the increase in interest rates on home loans.

6. Local Transport: This is virtually non-existant. Hence a personal vehicle is a must for all those who reside here. There are some private operators, but they are very disorganised and scanty. Gurgaon is not to be mistaken as a cousin of Delhi on this front at all.

7. Tourist Attractions: Well there are just 2 that I can think of, however I'll add 2 more to make it look big:
          1. Sultanpur Bird Sanctuary: Situated about 20 Kms from the "Malls" of Gurgaon, this is a place which provides hundreds of migratory birds a place to spend few months there. I have visited this place about 7-8 times and have seen the water body shrinking and expanding, depending on the rain and the current state of tiff between the managers of the sanctuary and the Haryana Jal Board. It is a good place to visit for bird lovers.
          2. Damdama Lake: This is an ox-bow lake situated 25 kms from the Malls area, where people can go boating and see some flora and fauna in their natural habitat. A resort managed by Haryana State Tourism Corpn is there to provide you some food and a clean environment for picnics etc. The water content at Damdama is decreasing with every passing season. We may have a Sun City standing there say 15 years from now.
          3. Heritage Village (Manesar) - I haven’t been there but have heard that it is a good place to spend a weekend if you have big bucks in your pocket or an employer that displays occassional love for its employees for an off-site stay.
          4. Malls, Multiplexes amd Eateries: These would barely qualify, but wanted to mention the same for the impluse shoppers, die-hard movie buffs and hungry desperados. There are at least 6 on Mehrauli-Gurgaon road in Gurgaon and others are coming up fast. Hence more dust is about to be found in the atmosphere.

So here’s my account of what the City of Dust is today. People like me live here because we work here. I do understand that there are more cities in India that resemble Gurgaon in one or more of the characterstics described above, but this review is just about Gurgaon with comparison to no other place. So others have the right to call other cities as bad or worse.

I can just recall what a friend of mine said about Gurgaon sometime back (in Hindi, if you please)

"Idhar bhi Khudaa hai
Udhar bhi Khudaa hai
Jahan dekho wahaan Khudaa hai
Jahan nahin dekho wahan bhi Khudaa hai
aur jahan nahin Khudaa hai.....
wahan Khud raha hai!"

Thanks for bearing with me.

Some ADs are better that all else on TV

2011-07-19T21:22:00.003+05:30

I have a very limited choice of what I watch on Television (crap box as referred earlier). I watch Discovery, Nat Geo, Fox Entertainment, Times Now (at times) and Cricket( whenever it happens). With 100’s of channels available and 1000’s of programmes telecast on all, there is a plethora of crap floating around. Curse me if you must, but for me, all that does not fall in the above buckets is crap…..

However, I do find some of the advertisements floating around to be more interesting than the actual programs. Few of the best I that feel are as follows:

1. Jazz – Why so serious : The feel of the ad is good. It uses the older film camera and gives it the 80’s touch. The music or jingle as we may call it is quite catchy. It better than 99.9% of what Bollywood churns out nowadays.
2. ZooZoos – I’ll have decent company when I say that these unique characters are quite cute. You can read the history and the making of this series of ads over the internet.
3. Ek Limca chura lo na….. : This one again has a very catchy jingle. The rest may be quite ordinary. I definitely feel thirsty after listening to this jingle.
4. Samsung – Thodi zindagi chakh lo….: Again, a catchy tune and Aamir Khan’s umpteen isomers make it memorable (I’ll write a separate post on him someday).

1. Walk when you talk – All ads’ for IDEA have been stupid, and with Abhishek Bachchan as its brand ambassador (The infamous Sir Jee), it can not get worse.
2. Harpic – The lesser said the better…..you know why by now.
3. Appy Fizz – I keep thinking what is worse – the Ad or the product.
4. Rajnigandha – It shows that you can conquer the world if you chew their paan masala. They still live in the East india company era, and have an unkempt wolverine like lead artist, who’s supposed to be a genius. Probably the person who conceptualized their series was a victim of their paan masala.

Any way, that was my choice. It will be interesting to hear from others too on these lines…..

Life is an accident : Part 1

2011-07-17T08:43:00.001+05:30

Yes, it is.

Consider some of the following mandatory conditions for life on our planet to exist:

1. The temperature range that we can survive in compared to what we have in the universe;

2. The atmosphere around us, that we so much take for granted. It not only provides oxygen in 21:79 ratio with nitrogen, but prevents us from cosmic dust and UV rays;

3. The composition of the air we can breathe. A little bit here and there and we struggle;

4. The Earth's rotation that causes day & night. It controls the temperature at all places and causes climate change, necessary for bird, animal and plant life. It also causes the ocean currents to keep temperature, nutrients etc well circulated.

5. The molten core that also contributes to livable temperature range. There's a bigger role to it. It also generates the Earth's magnetic field, which in turn protects us from cosmic gamma rays, solar wind etc.

6 The Earth's revolution around our star that causes seasons, thus moderating temperature, pressure & nutrient levels across the livable parts of the planet;

7. Our distance from nearby planets, stars, satellites, and other incredible monsters. It's at a precarious balance that does not affect effective gravity at different places, else we would have been sucked in at places and floated at others;

8. The relative stability of the ground and sea despite tectonic movements. Another 5% mass of the planet's core would have made us virtually float with tectonic faults (Earthquakes) and Volcanic eruptions every minute.

Temperature Range: Life has been surviving between -50 to +50 degrees Celsius, take or give 10. The outer ranges at both ends make us look for special equipment to heat or cool as the case may be. Our bodies cannot even take that range. Though nothing can be colder than absolute zero (-273 deg Celsius) there is virtually no upper limit to temperatures prevalent in the universe. Some stars sport 15 million deg C +. Hence the range we can survive in is minuscule compared to what could have been around. Aren't we lucky?

The Atmosphere: Had Earth been smaller, there would have been no atmosphere. Had it been larger, the atmospheric pressure would have crushed our bones to begin with. It would have also changed the composition of the air, something I talk about in the next para. No atmosphere would have subjected us to meteor showers, cosmic rays, solar wind etc thus cooking whatever was there of us. See the moon. It has no atmosphere, and we can see huge craters in our neighborhood. We also know the difference in the day and night temperatures n the moon, something that not moderated by an atmosphere. Lucky us again.

The Composition of air we breathe: Visit a high mountain and you'd know what I am talking about. Oxygen in 21% by weight is necessary for us to live normally, At higher altitudes, the level drops, and so do our reflexes. Consider what could happen in extremes when we have too little of oxygen or too much of it. Add the complexity of other gasses to the equation and a humungous set of un-livable combinations come up. So while you inhale this breath, thank God.

The rotation of the Earth: If the Earth stops rotating, there would be no climate change. There would be lesser winds, lesser clouds, and lesser rain. There would be no ocean currents circulating sea life and with them necessary nutrients across the globe. To balance the missing rotational force (centrifugal force) water from oceans will move to poles, cover the top 2/3rd of each hemisphere and open up a mega-continent at the equator from the displaced oceans. A day would be 1 year long. We would suffer from lack of sleep as our bodies aren’t made to tolerate light for more than 36 - 48 hours in a row. It would set in a permanent jet lag. The composition of the atmosphere at the equator will change drastically. So areas on land will have no breathable air while breathable air would exist in high seas for just a small annulus in both hemispheres. Nights will be freezing cold (6 months) while days will be scorching hot (Like the moon, but less drastic). Hence its good that the world goes round.

The Molten Core: If there weren't the molten core deep under us, there would be no magnetic field around us. The magnetic field is the security system around us against UV rays, Gamma radiation, Solar wind and most of the ill-directed space debris. It also keeps us warm from underneath the surface. Even if all other factors remain unchanged, a solid core would send temperatures freezing and subject us into an eternal ice age. Yes, there wouldn't be any volcanoes or Earthquakes either, but as much as we dislike them, they are essential to the evolution of our planet. A dead planet would be like Mars. I'll talk about this on some other day.

The Earth's revolution: Yes, this causes seasons. Seasons cause several species to migrate from one part of the planet to another in search of food, to breed, to survive harsh weather. All kind of plant life needs it too - to grow, to bloom, to fruit and to feed us and other inmates. Though there seems no reason why our revolution may stop, if it still does, it would start the end of life. Hence, don't mind a particular season if you dislike it. It’s necessary.

Our Cosmic Neighbors: We could see the effect of moon's proximity on ocean tides. Imagine if Jupiter forgot its orbit home for some time and came so close to us. Our seas would just fly off to Jupiter, forget tides. Perhaps, all else, including us would leave for Jupiter as its gravity will make ours look like A K Hangal before Rajnikanth. In fact, the Earth would itself be pulled towards it and spend its future as another satellite of Jupiter. Extraterrestrial gravity is not the only threat from a hostile neighborhood. A heavier and larger star in proximity (few million Kms if not light years), could make it hell here due to heat and other radiation. It would be a planet-sized microwave oven here. Besides if such a star ends up in a supernova explosion, we would be blown away as a spec of dust on the roadside. It could be worse if there is an hypernova around, even if its separated by a few 100 light years from us. Its Gamma-ray blast could lighten up the universe and clean Earth of everything that breathed. A pulsar could hit us with radio waves of very high energy, few times each second, while a magnetar could pull out iron from our blood cells even if 1000's of Km away.

The Earth's crust : Though mobile over centuries, it is stable enough for us to build civilizations that last centuries. Had the Earth's rotation been little faster, or the core a bit heavier, the surface would have been like cheese over a hot plate. We have active volcanoes that spew ash and lava separated by decades if not centuries. There are records of parts of civilizations been eradicated due to volcanoes. A super volcano can kill most of life on Earth - it has done so in the past and will do in future too. There's no immediate need to panic though , as such catastrophic eruptions are about once in 2 million years, and the most recent one at Taupo was about 2500 years ago. I am sure we'll find other ways to kill ourselves before the next one.

While there are more dimensions that define why we still exist, we can see that any of the above parameters, if moved a bit can make life difficult and if moved a bit in context of its universal range, would make life impossible. Thus we live in a very precariously balanced ecosystem, something that is a unique combination of millions of aspects to support life. Its wasn't that way all the time, and will certainly not be like this for ever. Life is just an accident.....though I believe that this accident can happen and mu st have happened at other places in the universe too.

Gold! ..... Looking for me

2011-07-12T13:43:00.000+05:30

Since Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone, life hasn't been normal. With it getting mobile, the insanity has evermore increased. Mobile internet, 3G etc have added their fuel to the fire, but I'll leave that part for some other day.

One normal day, my mobile rang as usual. It was an unknown mobile number, and by experience, not for my neighborhood. Though I have a smartphone, it wasn't so smart, as I was soon going to find out. I took the call.

I'll present the conversation verbatim, as I can not do justice otherwise.
Of course, its translated from a mix of Hindi-Rajasthani as far as possible.

Me: Hello

Caller: Hello Sir.

Me: Yes, who's that?

Caller: Sir I am a poor person who works as a laborer. I have unearthed few kgs of gold. If you buy that from me it would be a great help.

Me (Containing my surprise, and actually waking up now): Gold??? What gold? I did not understand.

Caller: Sir, I am a laborer. I work in this remote village of Rajasthan. While digging the earth, I happened to stumble across something harder than mud or rocks. It was big and when I pulled out I saw that it was Gold. Some 20 kgs of it.

Me: So you should be a rich man now. Why did you call me?

Caller: I want you to buy it.

Me (Still puzzled): Why me?

Caller: Because I know you can buy. I will sell for half the market rate. Both of us will benefit. Don't inform anyone else, please.

Me: Who gave you my number?

Caller: It was given by a driver called Raju who knows you.

Me: I don't know any Raju, be it a driver or a pilot. And the Cricketer V Raju does not know me!

Caller: Sir, it not funny. I need your help.

Me: Look my dear friend. We don't know each other, nor does any driver called Raju or Kumble for that matter know me. I am an ordinary man who drives his own car. Neither do I have any interest in your riches, nor do I have the capacity to buy it. Stop bothering me else I'll let the police help you part with your riches.

Caller (cutting me short): Sir, then the driver name could be something else. I am not sure.

Me (returning the favor by cutting him short now): As I said earlier, the driver's name does not bother me. You are bothering me. And now I am disconnecting. Keeping digging Gold!

I disconnected the call. I was still wondering about what could be the real motive behind such a phony call.
What was the game plan?
Did someone want to kidnap me when I would have "visited him alone to buy the gold"? :-)
Was my number just a random dial or was it obtained from someplace / person?

While I am still wondering about the first 3 questions, I got a confirmation that it wasn't a random call, for the same story repeated itself a few months later, this time from a Gujarat number. Again, it was blamed on a driver called something else.

In case someone calls up again, I'll paste his number and message on Facebook for my friends to have a ball :-)

500 runs in a ODI innings.....Possible?

2011-04-08T17:20:00.003+05:30

A colleague of mine, apparently well versed with Cricket (and its fallouts), asked me recently " Do you think a side will score 500 runs in an ODI in the next 10 years?".

"Well, it's entirely possible", was my answer without wasting any time. Though, several facts, figures, permutations & combinations started running in my mind, which in turn is undergoing a powerplay mode after the recent world cup.

Sri Lanka made merry against a hapless Dutch side about 5 years ago and amassed 443/9 in an ODI. As I write, this stands as the current record. I must admit that the current record does not wipe off the memories of the day when the 35-year-old world record was broken twice on the same day (within 4 hours in fact!) between the 2 strongest sides of the day, South Africa & Australia. The"impossible" was redefined. That was the first as well as the second time a 400+ score was put up in an ODI. 5 years down that day and 7 more 400+ scores have been achieved (thrice by India).

I remember the good old days of our SMG (the 36* of 174 balls Sunil Manohar Gavaskar) when scores of 200+ were considered good, 250+ life-threatening and 300+ as the game already over. Yes, I am talking of the '70s and the '80s. It was not until a bad day for Pakistan at Sharjah in April 1996 that the Indian side crossed 300 for the first time. All other test playing nations had done it though and Kenya joined the club soon after. There have been over 70 300+ scores by India since then. It's not just India, but almost all other sides have seen a surge in average scores. A score of 300 is not safe anymore (Though Australia would agree that even 400+ does not offer immunity!). What has changed???

I'll list down a few factors that, to me, seem to be the drivers:

1. The tweaks in the ODI format: Attempts to make the matches more enjoyable (or more marketable if you will) led to the field restrictions in the first 15 overs so that stroke makers could make merry of an otherwise tidy bowling lineup. This later on led to the power play overs (10+5+5) where the fielding is "restricted" to allow for some easy runs. Tweaks of this order led to the birth of Sanath Jayasurya, Kaluvitarna, Shahid Afridi, Sehwag, Chris Gayle, Adam Gilchrist etc. Attacking batsmen as they were, the fielding restrictions were their license to kill, and "kill" they did.....again and again. The viewers were more excited and coffers kept ringing, however, the bowlers suffered the agony of operation without anesthesia. I heard Ravi "Erudite" Shastri once remarking that he was lucky to bowl during a period when there were no fielding restrictions. Ironically, close in fielders would have cut his singles too, which, as a batsman, were his prime currency (only 18% of his career runs came in boundaries).

2. The acceptance of a more attacking batting style by the Cricket fraternity, than in the days of SMG. Instead of "save your wicket, and hit the bad balls", a new philosophy emerged that believed in pushing the envelope. Batsmen learned to adapt and improvise. Strokes like the reverse sweep, uppercut, scoops made it to the coaching books. Cheeky singles started keeping the batsmen and the fielders on their toes. The attack became the main defense. SMG or Ravi Shastri would have struggled to make it to the 11 of the '90s and beyond.

3. Some of the larger cricket grounds like MCG and SCG had to bring the ropes in to comply with the 75-yard rule for boundaries by ICC. I remember Tendulkar on 1992 struggling to hit over the boundary and losing his wicket more than once. The teams in the 2000s haven't been facing that problem.

4. Technology (and homework): Teams have got more professional too and have been resorting to more scientific ways to measure and improve their performance. Deciphering the kind of deliveries some opposition player bowls or the kind of strokes some opposition player plays, have become part of strategies. Action replays, videos etc have become commonplace in pre-match planning for teams. The surprise factor is fading away (Yes, even Suraj Randiv can not surprise us with his lethal no-ball now.)

5. The tap on the feet by new teams and new talent is also getting better of the fortunate 11. Better infrastructure in countries, and in general, globally, is allowing for raw talent to be recognized and be groomed for the big stage. SMG did not have that kind of a challenge.

6. Increase in numbers of weaker sides: Though I am an ardent supporter of the Associates getting more opportunity at the international level, this fact does not come free of cost. The better teams have been feasting on inexperienced sides and setting new batting & bowling records. Just imagine if there were no Canada & Zimbabwe, the 3 lowest ODI totals could have been knocked off. Just imagine if there were no Ireland, Bermuda & Netherlands, 4 of the 9 400+ scores wouldn't have existed. There wouldn't have been a 175* by Kapil Dev in 1983 (Who scored no other ODI ton). They do cause upsets once in a while but do capitulate all too soon most of the time. All records are taken at par though :-)

Though there are several more factors than mentioned above, one thing is certain - The envelope is being pushed constantly. The ODI highest in 1983 was 338 off 60 overs. It moved on to 360 off 50 in 1987, 363 in 1994, 398 in 1996, 434 & 438 (on a single day) in 2006 and 443 in 2006.

Going back to my friend's question about 500 runs in 50 overs, well, of course, that's possible. Something inside me tells me that the envelope would reach there sometime. I daresay, but this could be one of the dangers ODI cricket faces as per ICC think tank. Their decision to close doors to associates for next world cup may be an attempt to prevent this. Of course, few test playing sides will have a one-off game with them, but that would be once in several years.

PS: While we miss the associates' action on an international level, West Indies, Bangladesh & Zimbabwe shall provide the necessary fodder for records for the next few years.

Children of a lesser God

2011-04-05T21:15:00.001+05:30

The ICC Cricket World Cup 2011 has come to an end. 14 teams participated in the extravaganza filled with ecstasy and agony for everyone involved for 6 odd weeks. India won it. Period.....or is that so?

I question to myself time and again - Is the World Cup monodirectional with just one motive - to identify a winner? Or is there a bigger picture being painted somewhere, on a global canvas, with colors that can be seen if viewed from the correct distance?

The "World" Cup:

It's recent, however, the first image that comes to my mind when I think of the ICC CWC 2011 is the 50 ball century by Kevin O'Brien against England, that virtually ended England's world cup dream in mid sleep. Ireland weren't the winners of the world cup, nor did they come within 100 kilometers of it. Why is it that its this image that ends up being the icon of CWC 2011 in my mind that my team holding the treasured trophy?

The Moments to cherish

Questions like the above bring the "Global Canvas" thing in my mind. There were several moments to cherish for teams other than the eventual winner. Bangladesh's 2 wicket win over England, Pakistan's resurgence under Afridi, Canada threatening to beat Pakistan by bowling them out for 184, ten Doeschate's tons against England and Ireland (Off course Irish victory over England) and so on. Once the dust settles down, every team would realize they have gained something from this experience (We'll ignore England & Australia for now).

The Associates

Ireland continued from where they had left in WC 2007. Pakistan succumbed to them then and England now. Yes, Bangladesh has lost a few times between them, but Bangladesh is not a side to calibrate against.

Kenya and Canada were disappointing. It was hard to believe that Kenya once played the WC semi-finals. What happened to cricket in their parts of the world? To understand this question, read on further.....

If we zoom out a bit further, we can see how teams like Sri Lanka and Zimbabwe have risen from their once associate status to full-time test playing nations, and have done well. Sri Lanka needs no introduction. Zimbabwe has beaten each other test side in ODIs and was growing to be a stronger side till 2005. Kenya beat West Indies in their maiden WC appearance. They had been beating full members regularly till 2007. Ireland showed a punch too and they continue to do so.

The Theme :

There is a theme coming out of all the improvements and downfalls in the timelines of each nation above:

1. Sri Lanka played WC 1975 and WC 1979 with little success but grew from strength to strength later. Cricket is a religion there too and their own cricket control board, government, and ICC have been supporting the nurture of new talent.

2. Zimbabwe knocked off Australia in WC 1983. With players like Murray Goodwin, Andi & Grant Flower, Heath Streak, Neil Johnson they looked all set for supremacy, till political instability affected, amongst other things, cricket. Better players left and new talent had more basic issues to worry about that hold a bat.

3. Bangladesh made their ODI debut in 1986 and won their first ODI 11 years later. They played their first WC after Kenya but got full membership (Thanks to Mr. Dalmiya seeking Asian supremacy for personal gains). They have been the slowest of all learners. with more than 70 tests and 250 ODIs played, they have started looking like a side that can face the associates' at least. Cricket fans know that they had been defining the nadir for more than a decade. They can attribute their improvement to the support from ICC, their board and the government.

4. Kenya was also on the upward slope till 2007, despite not being considered for full membership by ICC. I felt it was ridiculous as they were always better than Bangladesh (And the West Indies of those days!). Apathy from the crickets ruling body is now showing up in their degraded performance. Sometimes, it looked as if they are here to fulfill a formality, and would want to board the first flight back home.

5. Ireland has been on the upward slope so far. Yet not a contender for full membership, they would struggle to keep their spirits up till 2019 when they may get to play the WC again.

Back to the theme, I was talking about. Teams have done well when given the correct support and recognition by ICC and thus the world.

The ICC has closed doors for all the associate and affiliate nations from the forthcoming world cup. This, in my opinion, is a blow to the growth of cricket in all the associate nations. My heart goes out for Ireland and Netherlands who were better sides than Bangladesh and West Indies in the tournament.

I consider this as the second biggest mistake made by ICC in its existence (By the way, legalizing T20 was the first!). International Cricket Council is expected to act as the mother of all cricketing nations and support, promote, control and grow cricket as a game across the world. If only 10 countries play it and do now allow others to join in at the biggest stage, Cricket would remain a sport known only to the glorified few. The children of a lesser God may just give it up by the time the next generation comes up, and we can all be happy playing the "World Cups" without any threat from the World.

The optimist in me hopes that sense prevails within ICC and something is done to give the associates their fair place in the International Fabric of Cricket.

A midsummer's nightmare : The survival guide

2011-02-27T14:16:00.001+05:30

Had William Shakespeare been alive today and had he been residing in North India, this could very well have been the title of his next play.

Thanks to the ever rising mercury and the ever increasing needs for electrical power, summers are a nightmare these years. With the power supply falling short of needs by few 1000 Megawatts, the situation in North India is similar to what our great grandfathers could only have witnessed in villages. They lived without electricity and hence the downstream electric goods like ACs, Coolers, Refrigerators,Microwaves,Fans and lights.....and still lived through summers, winters and monsoons.

Technological advances have made us lazy and our lives complicated (some would call it "easier", but I chose to differ). Imagine what would you do of your high end AC if there is no power to run it. Yes, you can buy a 10 KW inverter or a big DG set. The former would cost a bombshell, while the latter would run on fossil fuel costing something.

While I agree that my blog is not going to bring the mercury down, but I thought it would be a good idea to share some means , to keep ourselves relatively cool throughout this summer, which work WITHOUT electrical power.

Necessity is the mother of invention, no matter how wierd. Here are a few wierd ones:

#1. Water for bathing: Assuming that water is in fair supply, the overhead tank gets heated nearly enough to dip your tea bag, add sugar and sip. That’s not the ideal temperature of water to trickle out of the shower / taps and fall on your skin. If you have a geyser, use the stored water inside it as reserve capacity, mixing it with the water from the overhead tank, to bring the temperature of bathing water down. The geyser once replenished will take care of itself in some time. Ever though of using geyser for cool water?

#2. Drinking water: Use an earthen pot to store potable water. This is still the best way to make cool water available when the state electricity board can not make electricity available. Additionally, drink more water than you usually do.

#3. Hand Fan: Remember, when there is no electricity you can either choose to sweat it out (i.e. lose water) or to use something to blow some air , especially on your little ones, who refuse to sleep in the night without a fan. I know it sounds too rustic, but a city without electri-city is worse than a village. It also provides some needed exercise to your hands , once in simple harmonic motion.

#4. Food : Have items that cause a cooling effect on your body like cucumber salad or cucumber Raita or Mint Raita. Aviod consuming items like Kesar (Kesar Pista ice cream)etc, as they have the reverse effect. Reduce consumption of tea, Bailey’s etc.

#5. Ice: Save ice cubes in a thermos flask or some insulated container, so that its available hours after the power cut. This option does need a few hours of power supply per day.

#6. Khus Mats : I am not sure these are readily available in bigger cities anymore, but if available, these can be used to keep the natural flow of air cool. These can be placed across windows or portions of doors, again depending on the map of your house.These would give your house an overwhelming ethinic look. Those who are too conscious of the same, may choose to overlook this suggestion.

#7. Light Candles: Since this is a greater emergency than what emergency lights can handle, lets go back in time and use the age old candle.

#8. Mosquito Coils: If you happen to share your neighbourhood with mosquitoes, you might want to keep a mosquito coil or two handy. Liquidators and mats need the scantily available electricity again.

#9. Spend time at the Malls/Multiplexes: Find a reason to visit a local mall, and if you are a decent window shopper this idea may give some solace. This idea is a strict no-no for impulse buyers, as you would tend to lose more than what you gain.

#10. Don’t bunk office: This way your weekdays are automatically taken care of, especially if you're an IT person.
#11. Set low expectations: I feel this is a valid suggestion, because all the above will still be painful if you feel that you deserved to cool yourself in your AC Room, drinking cool drinks all the time watchning your favorite DVD on your home theatre etc. You can crib but no one’s listening.

This blog is a sincere tribute to Dakshin Haryana Bijli Vitran Nigam Ltd. Without their consistent lack of performance I would have never been forced to think about all these methods.

I sincerely pray to the Almighty that the power generation and supply situation in NCR improves and hence the readers of this review find all my suggestions to be useless.

The whiskered friends!

2011-01-25T23:34:00.005+05:30

"Plokk!" That sound again—something not so small making an unceremonious dive into a bucket of water. Not an unusual sound, sure, but at 11 PM on a chilly winter night? Yeah, not human. My gut said it, and my gut was right—Microdude, our illustrious cat, had just plunged into the cold, watery depths of misery that I wouldn't wish even on my worst enemy. But Microdude? Well, he and I had history.

This was back in the early '90s, when life in Kanpur, UP, was simpler, airier, and far less Instagrammable than today’s boxy apartments. Our small house was basically a haven for sunlight, pets, and an occasional breeze. While my parents would pass out by 10 PM sharp, my sister and I preferred our late-night misadventures. Hence, I was awake to witness the watery catastrophe.

Now, Microdude, bless his paws, miscalculated by a few millimeters—a literal misstep for feline-kind—and landed with a splash into a bucket instead of the cold, hard courtyard floor. For a second, I swear he gave me a death glare, as if I'd rigged the whole thing. Typical cat—blaming me more for our complicated relationship than any actual fault.

Speaking of relationships, my childhood was basically one big petting zoo. Between 22 cats and 20+ dogs—no, not all at once, thank goodness—our house was a circus, with up to five animals on the roster at any given time. The stories I could tell! It was like living with fur-covered stand-up comedians. Cats versus dogs was a recurring comedy special, though personally, I always vibed with the cats. Maybe because we both share an unspoken love for naps and avoiding unnecessary effort.

Over time, I realized that cats and dogs can be eerily human-like in their behavior, especially cats. They could use their eyes to convey the same range of emotions humans do, except their stares also came with a side of judgment. So when Microdude crawled out of that bucket, dripping wet and sulking, I could practically hear him thinking, "This is why we don’t trust humans."

Now, cats that move in with humans are a special breed—they’re more paranoid than cats born into the house, who grow up thinking they own the place. We were the poster family for stray cats in need of shelter and five-star dining. My dad and sister were the kind of people who animals flock to, and somehow, we got famous among the local strays. A few pet cats even brought their freeloading friends over for dinner, like it was some feline Airbnb with free meals.

The cats quickly learned to side-eye the dogs, though. Meanwhile, our clueless puppies would see a cat and think, “Hey, same size, same fur—let’s be besties!” But five seconds later, they’d be nursing their pride (and some scratches). Over time, the dogs got the respect and demanded some personal space, especially as they grew bigger and less inclined to deal with feline sass.

And let me tell you, cats are strategic masterminds. They'd always sit just a few inches beyond the reach of the dogs' chains, making sure to flaunt their freedom while driving the dogs insane. Of course, every once in a while, they'd miscalculate, forgetting that the dog’s chain wasn't hooked to anything. Chaos, as you'd expect, ensued. This does remind me of a 'Tom & Jerry' episode. if you've watch this one, you would know what I mean. If you haven't, then watch first!

Now, what do cats love most? Mice? Milk? Nope, not in my house. Our cats turned their noses up at mice, who casually strolled across the floor as if they'd signed a nonaggression pact. The cats didn’t care—they were too well-fed and not in the mood for chasing rodents. In fact, it seemed the mouse community had also caught on, walking around like they owned the place.

As for milk, that’s a myth—at least with my crew. Microdude’s heart belonged to Maggi noodles. Yep, he could smell those savory noodles cooking from miles away and would emerge from hiding like a tiny, demanding noodle connoisseur. Then there was Mowgli, another cat with class. He had a weakness for Krackjack biscuits—nothing else would do. Once, my mom tried to fool him with a cheap knock-off. One sniff and he turned away with a look that said, "Do I look like a peasant to you?"

Another universal truth: cats hate water. Microdude’s splashy misadventure was a prime example, but oddly enough, none of our cats made a fuss during regular bath time. It was as if they were resigned to their fate. "Fine, human, get it over with."

And then there’s the way cats use their eyes—they can read your soul. They knew my intentions were always a bit… mischievous. They'd keep a cautious distance from me, but my sister? She was their favorite. They’d waltz right into her arms like she was their personal masseuse. I loved them just as much, but I guess my version of love came with a little more unpredictability.

Now, if there's one thing dogs struggle with, it's potty training. Some of them never quite get the hang of it. But cats? They’re born with the skill. It’s like they came with a built-in instruction manual for "how not to ruin the carpet." Low-maintenance, high attitude—classic cat.

Are we really alone?

2011-01-24T17:59:00.000+05:30

Our universe is vast.....really vast! Over the centuries, it has fascinated astrologers, astronomers, scientists and amateurs alike.

The result of this unending fascination is the everlasting search for more knowledge of the cosmos we are a part of. So far we have learned a lot about what our planet is and what its surroundings are like. We've also learned a lot of what we call as outer space. However, there is much more yet to learn of. We are sure that the plethora of our current knowledge is not even the equivalent of the fraction of a molecule of water in the vast oceans.

Though there are several open questions about our cosmos. Where does it begin and where does it end as everything physical has to have a finite limit? When did time begin and when will it end? If there was a beginning of time, what was there before it? or would be after its over? The list may be unending.

For me, and many others like me, the thought of whether we are the only life forms in the universe is the most intriguing.

I am not an astronomer myself, hence will not go on to debate the definition of life/life forms etc. Thousands of better read scientists are already doing that and will keep doing that till they remain life forms.

To understand that better, let's take a step back.

We know that our universe consists of 100's of billions(yes, it has 9 zeros) of galaxies. Each galaxy normally consists of millions to billions of stars (our Sun is just one). Recent researches have almost established the fact that its normal for a star to have planets and satellites revolving around them. Around 1000 planets larger than Jupiter have been discovered in our own galaxy - the Milky Way, in the last 20 years (1995-2015). Since our equipment is just getting sharp enough to see smaller planets, the count of smaller ones is not known but expected to be an order of magnitude higher. Several of these planets show oxygen, hydrogen, nitrogen, and carbon in their atmosphere in various forms. It's too early to say that life can be supported on one or more of them, but it does keep the door open for further research for generations to come. And mind you, we are talking about our just own neighborhood so far. Expand this hypothesis to the billions of stars in the 100's of billions of galaxies, and the possibilities could be astounding for the human brain to fathom.

The kind of life we see on Earth is very fragile. The range of temperatures that we can survive in, is very narrow, compared to what exists in the universe. Similarly, the minor variations in the chemical composition of atmosphere cause us nausea, slightly higher cause suffocation or death.

Minor variations in surrounding pressure, cause problems too. Its unlikely, that we can survive at any other place inside our solar system within those limitations. However, with the vastness of the universe, the probability of finding places that fit our comfort zone must be quite high, just that we need to find those "zones"(popularly known as Goldilocks' zones). No one would care if I say that, however, renowned cosmologists like Stephen Hawking say that too. The theory of probability also proves that. Whether, such zones have life forms like us (past, present or future) is too early to guess, but surely a possibility.

Now, if we expand the definition of life to support life forms in more "extreme" surroundings than us, the probability grows manifold. What is extreme for us, may be comfortable for different possible life forms. We have examples of single-celled and other simple life forms that survive in very hot or very cold temperatures on Earth itself. They adapted!

Yes, none of the above theories has yet been proven to be a perfect science. Perfect science requires well-defined relations between variables of a system as well as reproducible and testable results. Since we are dealing with dimensions in light years (sometimes millions of light years), its a bit difficult to set up a cosmic laboratory just yet.

Few of the manageable efforts as of today include Search of Extra Terrestrial Intelligence (SETI), a voluntary organization, tracking radio signals that hit Earth, with the hope of finding intelligent extraterrestrial civilizations one day. While I salute their intent, I don't think they are equipped to isolate such signals, if any, from the cosmic noise. Some of the NASA researches, do collect data that can be used to focus the research better (Based of what I hear on Discovery channel).

Nevertheless, it doesn't stop us from counting the aliens before they land. So, are we really alone? I firmly believe that NO will be the answer one day.

Confession: I am neither an astronomer, nor a scientist, nor have any research or white paper on this topic. However, I am a strong enthusiast of the above and follow such topics in detail.

I welcome comments by fellow humans as well as aliens.....