Woah cool dude.com

Gadaffi Actually Dead... Maybe?

2011-10-20T05:03:00.000-07:00

Boo.... hahaha

He might well be dead.

-- I used to be indecisive but now I am not quite sure.
Tommy Cooper

My Geek Head Exploded from My Geek Neck

2011-10-11T07:33:00.001-07:00

The Avengers trailer is finally here. Its pretty cool, if not for the gay late 90's soundtrack. Check it the shit out!

Who Needs CERN? Not Crocodile Dun-Scientist!

2011-09-27T06:47:00.000-07:00

So I always knew Australia was upside down, I mean its all the way on the other side of the planet. It intrigues me that a civilization could exist like that with the Earth being on the back of some Elephants and a Turtle. (That's right bitches a Terry Pratchett reference!)

Yet I never realized its physics were also all mental and wrong. I mean this old croc-bothering loon has some kind of mystical, black magic inspired control over slinkies!

Grab your shotguns, they will be after our wives with their witch craft and kangaroo riding armies soon!

Completely bad ass, however my slinky never made it down the stairs and always got tangled within a day, explain that Aussie Hawkins!

-Chovey

Oh How Things Have Changed

2011-09-27T02:10:00.000-07:00

Wow, do you remember 1996? I sure as hell do, The Lost World: Jurassic Park trailers were doing the rounds, as was Men In Black, oh and there was rumours of super speedy 128KPS internet connections! Its like Marty McFly just bought his hover board to 1955. Well here is some evidence of just how far we have come. Although to be honest, there are probably some hipster douche bags in Manchester who own these phones, claiming they are retro alternatives to the mainstream technologies.

Pagers, however, didn't catch on anywhere but on the set of E.R.

-Chovey

Artist Introduction - English Frank

2011-09-08T05:00:00.000-07:00

No Frank. I meant Scott Parker is good. Honestly. Please don't bite me.

Artist Introduction – English Frank

English Frank, formerly Frantic Frank is an English rapper; he’s a proud Londoner which explains why he likes to wear Del Boy sheepskin coats and talk about England a lot.

I think a rappers name is important and I like the name ‘English Frank’ it’s very simple and also very ermmm English, don’t be fooled by the jovial simplicity of his name though as Frank is certainly not the mellow jokey type; if you want an example of why then check out his latest F64 on youtube on which he raps about threatening to give the cameraman a beating, a menace in his eyes that suggests he probably would.

Frank’s delivery combines a lot of passionate anger with lyrics spat at an impressive BPM; lyrically he’s far better than your average MC and tackles topics ranging from your standard tales of drug dealing to the problems within inner city communities. There’s something special about Frank, I can’t quite put my finger on it but he possesses something that makes you want to listen to him, it could be the blood-boiling rage he exhibits on the microphone or the brutal and honest insight he offers regarding the drug/knife/gun culture on London Estates. Frank hasn’t got an official album out yet but his mixtape is available for free on www.datpif.com (you’ll have to make an account but it’s free and highly worth it as there’s thousands upon thousands of top-notch mixtapes worth downloading, also check out www.livemixtapes.com ).

I haven’t heard enough of English Frank to completely judge his ability but based on his mixtape ‘The Hardway’ and his SBTV appearance he’s a talented bloke, albeit a talented bloke with a terrible taste for coats.

Flow: 8/10

Lyricism: 7/10

Gangsterness: 10/10

Dickheadness: 2/10

Song Quality: 8/10

-TDS_Biro Boy

Artist Introduction - Lunchables

2011-09-08T04:35:00.000-07:00

Banned in the 90's. This shit Fo' real Nigga. Better respect them Snickers Bite-Size foooooolll.

I know a million Mad-Men fans are screaming at their Apples, shouting "Don Draper does NOT approve."

-Chovey

An Idiots Guide to Football, 5 Easy Tips.

2011-09-08T04:02:00.000-07:00

Football, Soccer, Kick Ball, Leather-sack-wap-about. The beautiful game has many names, many teams and many, many rules. Countless confusing terms, opinions and bizarre eccentricities. So with this new update, to this brilliant blog, I aim to educate, inform and enlighten the unknowing so that they may converse, understand and enjoy football with the masses. So with out further hesitation or procrastination here we go:

FOOTBALL!

1.a. You must support one* team, no matter how neutral you claim to be. You get to choose one team in all of the Leagues, you get bonus points for teams in the lower, less glamourus levels of professional football. However with those bonus credits, you also lose the thrills of watching your team play regularly on TV and a better standard of football. Swings and roundabouts.

*You may eventually have a second team, that you choose to support on occasion as well, but that's an intermediate level of knowledge that we will reach at another date.

*-Super Tip-* You don't want to be that wanker in the pub watching the game who claims he supports neither team playing, who just enjoys watching football, who says that immortal douche bag line "No matter what the score is, football is the real winner". So Pick a team, mention it to a mate at the start of the 90' minutes and egg them on. The whole viewing experience will be improved massively by this choice.

1.b. You can counter claim supporting one of the 2 teams playing, by hating one of them instead, thus enjoying their defeat or cursing their unfairly obtained victory.

2. Don't bother buying a replica shirt*. They are stupidly expensive, horribly made, always out of fashion and replaced within a year by a whole new, slightly different kit. Nothing says part time supporter or full time cunt like a 2 year old Man Utd shirt. Instead just invest in a scarf. It actually keeps you warm, plus if you manage to get to a real "mud & pies" game you can wave it above your head like a loon.

*There is one Replica shirt you can get. Retro ones. For example this England 90-93 away kit will do just fine.

Sometimes you can smell Gazza's tears in the fabric.

3. I'm going to use a personal example this one: A good friend of mine, recently moved to the country, decided that football is such a prevalent part of our society that to integrate properly he must support a team. Logically he chose a team which were fairly successful while also having some persoanl attachment too, he chose Tottenham Hotspur. When he started to support it was a point in time when they were being put in that "Top 4" bracket, aka a team which may win the league. He was a happy fan. They were beating teams left right and centre, had great young players and a reliable clever manager. Things have changed in 2 years. Spurs are no longer a top 4 team, lacking the investment of Manchester City and Liverpool, they have dropped behind, quite a way behind.

So, then came the first game of the Season, at Old Trafford, against a rejuvenated Wayne Rooney and friends. Tottenham were thrashed. My friend was not too pleased, he apparently stomped, protested and got angry. His housemates were displeased by his football based irritation.

I heard of his displeasure and informed him that no one, except close local rivals, get upset at losing to Man Utd. He didn't understand. I carried on, "We all lose to Manchester United. Everyone has or will be thrashed by them. Its a fact of life, like dying". It dawned on him. He had probably chosen the wrong team.

4. If your team aren't Manchester City, United or Chelsea, do NOT get attached to a good player at your club. He will be sold. Usually just after claims from both club and player that your club is everything to him, that he wants to retire there, that its his home town and that it looked after him so well, all his friends and family are there....well... FUCK YOU ANDY! Sorry, I almost cried for a week when Andy Carroll left, little did I know what was around the corner. Goodbye sweet prince. Sorry, that still bites for me.

5. The final rule for this week, is an important one, especially for us of the English persuasion. Stay calm, what goes around comes around, for every 5-1 thrashing there is a relegation, for every 0-0 bore draw there is a 4-0 comeback. Football is to be enjoyed in the short and long term. It is hills and valleys and always, always entertaining. Just don't apply that rule to the national team. Ha.

More next week, you Footballing cretins.

-Chovey

A True Hero is Born....BOOBS! LOADS OF BOOBS!

2011-09-07T13:08:00.000-07:00

Every once in a while a true Hero is born. A man or woman who takes it upon themselves to make a great sacrifice without guilt or expectation. A person of such character that their very thought of heroism will be etched into the minds of many, forever.

Here is an example of that.

Its in Russian and English, its long, but its perfect.

Don't thank me citizens of the world. Thank Russia.

-Chovey

Do You Like Small Dogs? Do you Like Dinosaurs? Then You'll Love This!

2011-09-07T09:28:00.000-07:00

I know a fair few the WCD.com readers who have small dogs. I also know that some of our readers like to dress up their dogs in ridiculous Christmas costumes. Yet not many of you bored scum like Dinosaurs! What the hell is wrong with you people?

Well, don't say I don't treat you peasants. Here are small dogs; in bloody Dinosaur costumes!!

(And one Tortoise.)

No, Thank you world. You're right though. Best. Article. EVER!

Buy them all here. Party City Product Site

-Chovey

Artist introduction - Jay Electronica

2011-09-06T05:09:00.000-07:00

That ball wasn't thrown, its levitating due to excess levels of Win.

Jay Electronica, the Zorro of Rap, not many people have heard of him (hence why I gave him that nickname) which is a shame on a criminal level. If you are one of the unlucky persons check him out now, I guarantee it will be the most constructive thing you do today… seriously you could lose your job and a member of your extended family and still feel like you'd had a cracking 24 hours after listening to a couple of his tracks.

Electronica is a southern rapper; if you're not big on American hip/hop then I should explain that the southern artists get a lot of stick from the other coasts. Jay got first-hand experience with dealing with the stigma attached to being a southern rapper early in his career; and when rapping around New York and Detroit he was booed off stage more than once despite being an incredibly gifted lyricist with a top draw flow. He first burst onto the scene with a beautifully poignant freestyle over the soundtrack of the ‘quirky’ film ‘Eternal Sunshine of The Spotless Mind’

You won’t hear Electronica boasting about how many slags he’s fingered or how white his new cica’s are, he’s very much a socially conscious rapper who thrives on addressing subjects usually untouched by rappers but don’t worry he doesn’t sound preachy at all, just fresh.

I’m not going to pour superlatives on a rapper anymore as they are all egomaniacs anyway (except Chipmunk who suffers from depression – a result of him being a talentless monkey-nut-headed barrel of festering turd.) Just do this - Open up a new tab, go to YouTube and search Jay Electronica click on the Exhibit C suggestion and listen…if you're a fan of hiphop, be it casual or hardcore and haven't heard this you're in for a very special five and a half minutes. In my own, very humble opinions, it's one of the top 10 hip-hop tracks of the decade, I mean that. If you claim to be a hip-hop head and don't like it; then go and put on a drake track and suck your own withered, little un-knowledgeable cock, until you cum to the sound of mediocrity, whilst the rest of us jostle out to audible magic.

"They Call me Jay Electronica/fuck that call me/Jay elec hannakah/Jay elec yamakah/ Jay elec tramadon Mohammed asalamokah while su the loss of ponowa whilst I holler through your moniter."

Songs to Look out for ‘Ghost of Christopher Wallace’ ‘Shiny Suit Theory (ft Jay-Z), ‘Eternal Sunshine’ and ‘Exhibit C’

He hasn’t officially released an album yet but one is imminent now that he’s signed for rocafella records which are owned by Jay-Z. He does have lots of mixtapes however which I’m too Lazy to list them, but they are readily available and largely free so download them yourself.

One of his mixtapes is called what the fuck is a Jay electronica, I suggest you find out.

Flow: 9/10

Lyricism: 9/10

Gangsterness: 3/10

Dickheadness: 2/10

Song Quality: 9/10

-TDS_BiroBoy

The Sorry State of Graffiti Part 2

2011-09-05T01:48:00.000-07:00

I'm back from my week long, self imposed, (attempted) heart break mending exile.

That's right, I'm back and so is the least enjoyed and most ignored article on this "Great Blog"*. Back with a few updates of more local street art.

Woah woah woah, whats that? An improvement in the standard, I hear you say? Why its almost like I actually went and looked for some good street art instead of just stumbling on it....... well that's right I did.

Even though this is the typical Robin Hood tag work, I cant help but wonder if out there somewhere, there is a wall stencil sprayed with some Pro Nick Clegg sentiment. We can all wait and hope.

Some are attempts at biting social commentary, some are weird Moomins, all fail. We know Cameron is a posh twat, however, I don't think he is quite Alan Rickman; Sheriff or Nottingham level yet. And why would a Moomin ghost smoke? Why! Oh and that swan/duck tag, that is bloody everywhere in Cheltenham. What an odd tag.

More soon.

-Chovey

Anti-Drinking Advert Fails Again

2011-08-26T06:47:00.000-07:00

I don't think I really have to say much, other than "shit me that guy is awesome". Anyone else want him at a party? He killed that kid with humour and ease. Bravo to him Bravo. Right i'm off for a drink. By drink I mean bottle of vodka. By bottle of vodka I mean paint. By paint I mean a Tipex, under a bridge, with those tramps that smell like hell. My life sucks.

-Chovey

Weekly Slacker Highlights 2

2011-08-26T02:06:00.000-07:00

The Dude waits some more.

Its definitely that time again, its the time for me to skip off writing an actual article, one of substance, and bring you instead a smorgasbord of internet highlights.

We have the new Johnny Depp, Hunter S Thompson Film trailer: "Rum Diary", The August Fail Compilation and much much more. Well actually, a small amount more. But hey its more and more is more right? More.

Dictator Death Photos

There's a lot the internet has given us, Nyan cat, Tron guy and fake celebrity photos. The latter has spawned a bizarre step child, fake death photos. Well, here are some, NWS if you haven't guessed already and quite gruesome. Remember they ARE fake though.

ITS A PUPPET!

Obviously a tad fake.

Fidel Castro with added Email.

Next week I'll kill a dictator myself. And photograph it. I'm looking at you Cameron.

A Diamond Planet?! Every ring, bought for every girl, is now obsolete.

So scientists, in all their wisdom, have looked through the universe for something to impress their World of Warcraft girlfriends, something so awesome they might have sex twice a year. The lo and behold they found this; a mo-fo-ing diamond planet. I'm pretty sure Kang the conqueror is however rubbing his hands with glee as Flash Gordon falls in to his elaborate plan for enslavement using the diamond eye of Ahkbar. If there's a diamond planet, does this mean QVC is making a giant Diamonique one?

Full story from Reuters here: Diamond Planet

Johnny Depp is doing his Gonzo voice

If you have seen the rather Excellent "Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas" then this film should excite you. Based on the early Thompson novel "The Rum Diary" the film is set in Puerto Rico and follows a young journalist (Depp) as he attempts to write a novel as the increasingly bizarre country degrades around him. As with most of Thompson's books this one is based partly on true events, but also entirely from his own imagination so expect the unexpected. Trailers above:

E.T. Supplies the above trailer.

The Astronaut Suicides

Dude killed the Doctor Y'all!

I could describe how great this website is. I could go into the original and brilliant ideas that went into the photography. Or the genius of using the shuttles last flight as cause for astronaut depression. But I wont. Just go to the website and be entertained for 15 minutes or so. Brilliant.

Astronaut Suicides

The August Fail Compilation.

The A-Team didn't clear up after filming

Failing is an inherent part of learning. Its how we win. We learn to be better people, by losing. We also learn not to jump off big buildings, or swing around lamps at stupid heights. These people either haven't failed before, or have a natural addiction to embarrassment and being crap at things. Dudes love a bit of pain.

-FAIL

Well that's all for this week. Check again next week

-Chovey

National Dude Day

2011-08-25T02:47:00.000-07:00

Better than Obama.

That's right douche-bags, its "National Dude Day", or was, or will be. Anyway its a celebration of all things Lebowski in London.

The Big Lebowski (1998), which if you aren't retarded or from the deep south (which is really one in the same) is the basis of our Logo, name and general site mantra.

Check it out, it will enrich your life. Its a movie viewing experience that might just blow your mind. It makes weed seem like the milk you have on your Frosties. Even Steve Buscemis' eyes look ok in it. Shit I'm babbling, back to the news.

The main thing to come out of this, weed smoking cluster fuck, is that all the cast are ready for a damned sequel! Hell's yeah.

Well actually I think that's a terrible idea. Why wreck a perfectly rounded stoner master piece by breaking the golden slacker rule? Trying harder.

More info in the link!

THE SUNS STORY ON NATIONAL DUDE DAY!

-Chovey

They are Soldiers Not Heroes.

2011-08-24T12:34:00.000-07:00

This man has a gun, for shootin' them peoples.

There is a War in the middle east if you haven't heard.

Iraq was full of giant missiles and Godzilla esc world destroying monsters according to the Pentagon and Tony Blair. Afghanistan had some Taliban bastards who treated women worse than Alec Baldwin. And all this mess was caused by America getting attacked by some dudes from Al Qaeda.

Thus an "Alliance of the Willing", which sounded no where near as good as the original name "The Fellowship of The Ring" had to march over to the deserts and kick some bums.

Apparently.

But lets not get into the whys and wherefores. There were and are some wars going on right now and due to said instabilities we sent our Armed Forces to promote peace by killing some people.

(Right, now your up to date. See world events really aren't that complicated to understand or describe!)

Yet if this was just any another article easily found anywhere from your local popsicle stand to a Hairy Biker forum, those Armed Forces would be described as "Heroes", "Our Boys" and "The Brave Few".

Why?

Why are soldiers, who chose their profession with free will and ample warning, trained to kill and told death is a highly probable part of their profession, called Heroes and praised constantly for the job they are paid to do?

When a soldier dies on the battlefield, the government is blamed, the army themselves are criticized for lacking the correct equipment, sometimes even the guys who killed the poor bugger get a portion of the blame, but never the soldier himself.

Yes any death is terrible. Any human life taken in anyway is unforgivable and tragically unfair. However, that soldier CHOOSE to put himself in that position. From the moment he decided that joining the Army/Navy/Air-force was the right career and life choice for him, he KNEW that death was a likely possibility facing him. Just as when he was training every day, he knew that he was being groomed to kill other human beings. Just what part of that is "heroic?"

There isn't conscription anymore, no one is forced to join the Military to protect our shores from a likely invasion. No matter what Fox News tells you. When young men in the 1940's left Britain and the US to fight the Axis, it was barely their choice and was, in fact, to save the world from certain, terrifying oppression.

Literally, from Day 1 every soldier in training knows what to expect when their feet touch down on foreign shores. They expect team mates to die, they expect IED's and suicide bombings. They are encouraged to shot to kill. I'm not saying its pleasant, or right, but again its down to choice, these men didn't have to sign up for this.

Perhaps, the choice is out of their hands in a societal fashion, a large percentage of ground troops or "squaddies" come from impoverished backgrounds, the Army is seen as a way out of the poverty for them, with no other options to make the same levels of money with limited qualifications. Yet again however it isn't their only choice, many paths are open to them that don't involve killing, or being killed.

So back to my original statement, why call them Heroes? Are they selflessly putting their lives on the line to save the innocent? Are they joining the fight abroad to save our shores from a deadly invasion? No, they get paid to kill. They join the army to shoot people and earn a wage, oh and travel the world as well.

When did the public begin praising those who are so blood thirsty? I have spoken to many who have joined the army, very few, (if any) have quoted their main aim in their career choice as "protecting the shores of my fine and fair country."

Don't get me wrong however, bravery is still evident, when a soldier jumps on an imminently exploding grenade, or when choosing not to blow up a jeep full of civilians when commanded to do so. But not every soldier killed in a war is a Hero.

1 person a day dies on average in an industrial related accident. Yes that's 1 Per day.

Where are their televised funerals? Where is their charity for the widows?

There isn't one.

They aren't aware that every day they are putting their life on the line for a living. They don't know the profession they are entering into is primarily the promotion of death. Yet their deaths get no media coverage, no crying widows in Wotton Basset around their hearse.

They also don't get Facebook groups as ridiculous as "Give footballers wages to the Soldiers." I could rant about this statement alone for hours and in hundreds of words, but I'll simply explain in one paragraph or less just how ridiculous, un-founded and utterly retarded a statement like that truly is.

*Rant begin*

The average football career spans 15 years maximum, of those footballers 100 or so will have 7-10 years on wages of around £60,000 a week, even less will have over that. Football is a small profession made up of a minute amount of the worldwide population. They play in a highly paid, massively viewed, niche world. You have to be the very best in your field to get the best pay in any job. The best footballers are no different. The average soldier has limited to no qualifications, the skills they are trained in are not fields which are viewed massively by the media and you do not have to have extraordinary physical gifts to be in the Army. You choose to join and you are paid accordingly for your skill set. For these reasons and many more Soldiers do NOT deserve the wages of footballers. *Rant over*

Heroes can in certain situations be soldiers, but my god, please don't claim that every man killed in Iraq or wherever is a hero befitting a protest, government funded funeral and full recognition in parliament for one simple reason. Choice.

I know this is a touchy subject, many know people who have died in wars, or come back scarred from them both mentally and physically. I in no way aim to disrespect or insult their death or life, but the word hero needs to be used more sparingly and accurately. Or soon enough it wont mean anything at all.

Every soldier chose to be just that, a soldier.

-Chovey

Florence and The Machine New release.

2011-08-24T01:01:00.000-07:00

Even this Ethereal being uses the Tube. I bet Adele physically couldn't.

I bet Adele was shaking violently in her size 10 wellies when she heard this. Whats that? She was in New York yesterday? ZING! Earthquake.

Wow. Just wow, this is stunning. I was at one point so completely enamoured with Florence Welchs' last album that I had it on repeat for 18 days. I didn't eat, or drink, my only sustenance was gained from licking the dust off the vinyl as it span.

Here is the video to the first track of her new LP: "What the Water Gave Me."

-Chovey

Artist Introduction: Giggs

2011-08-23T15:37:00.000-07:00

Artist Introduction: Giggs

That's an official picture, we swear we aren't racist or nuthin'

Giggs aka ‘Hollowman’ is a rapper from Peckham or ‘Pecknam’ as he and his cronies call it (you get it? Like Vietnam cuz’ it’s proper violent). If you follow the British Rap or grime scenes you will have undoubtedly heard of him, if you don’t follow them, then you probably only know Giggs as a the Welsh footballer who fooled everyone into thinking he was a model professional whilst he was swinging his cock at any female (preferably in a relationship with a loved-one) within a 50mile radius of Old Trafford….This is not that Giggs, this Giggs used to swing around Glocks and Gats whilst selling drugs before he embarked on a rap-career and started telling everyone about it.

Giggs’ first release was the freestyle ‘Talking The Hardest’ which he recorded over the Dr Dre produced Stat Quo track ‘Here We Go’. This track was monumental in British Hip-Hop and it blasted the ‘Pecknam’ rapper straight onto the top of the game’s pedestal. I may add that the track is well worth a listen or sneaky download, in fact you could even purchase it but that would you make you a corporate square…Look out for the line “Anybody thinks they can talk to my click will end up covered in red like a portion of chips” I don’t think anybody has ever used a bag of chips in such a threatening and effective way. I like that bar a lot it’s a bit silly, very English and also extremely hostile (like Nick Griffin…that’s right, I do satire too.)

Giggs’ style is unique, which is a rarity in rap nowadays- a fan of Giggs would say his delivery is slow, deliberate, passionate and honest. A critic of Giggs would say that he sounds like a lobotomised retard reading out ghetto nursery-rhymes. I hold the opinion that whilst Giggs is certainly not breaking any boundaries when it comes to lyricism he does have qualities that other artists lack, mainly authenticity and "gangsterness", by that I mean that when Giggs raps/mumbles threats that, "he will shoot someone if they doth wrong him", he sounds like he genuinely will.

His authenticity as a ‘badman’ is backed up by the fact that Operation Trident seem to have it in for Giggs. They turn up at his gigs and cancel them, they got him dropped from a record label and they got him kicked off of a tour with Lil Wayne for being too ‘violent’. I personally find it as ridiculous as I do impressive; to be kicked off a standard popstar’s tour for being violent is understandable but slightly cool but for being kicked off the tour of one of gangster rap’s most famous patrons, who’s image and popularity largely depends on having a history of being a bit of drug slangin’, bitch fuckin’ piece shooting vagabond is pretty badass… but sadly on the other hand it also makes a large aspect of hip-hop a bit laughable - it would be like the Rolling Stones in their prime kicking someone off their tour-bus for drinking a can of shandy and letting off a party popper….Ok well it’s not exactly like that but it’s a good analogy and a damn funny one if you’re intellectually capable of understanding a top-notch level of wit.

If you want to check Giggs out, then the tracks I suggest you download/youtube are ‘Talking the Hardest’ ‘You Raised Me’ ‘Walk in Da Park’ and my favourite ‘Slow Songs’ which features a fucking sick and beautifully poetic verse from his mentor Mike Skinner (I probably should have mentioned that he was handpicked by Skinner’s label earlier)

His albums thus far are ‘Walk in Da Park’ and ‘Let Em’ Ave it’ (I’m lead to believe that Em’ is shortened slang for Them and not a girl called Emma whom he was going to ‘Let Ave It’)

Flow: 8/10

Lyricism: 6/10

Gangsterness: 9/10

Dickheadness: 2/10

Song Quality: 7/10

Final Bar – I’m a fan of Giggs; he offers good music and a decent insight into gang related violence (that sounded so suburban), but I do understand that not everybody will enjoy the dark mumbling tones of a bloke who sounds like a murderous old man who’s been through a couple of strokes.

-TDS_Brio Boy

Libya Falls

2011-08-23T14:12:00.000-07:00

Tripoli? Or "TripoLOL!" Get it? As in laugh out loud? No? Well fuck you guys, you just don't get me anyway. You're not even my REAL Dad! *Sob*

Gadaffi Leaving to face the Rebels.

The real news is, that of course ,Libya is collapsing quicker than Adele's corset at a cake ingesting party. So get in there quick if you want to loot a Gadaffi Palace for awesome threads like the ones shown above! I bet he has a sick collection of PS1 games too.

-Chovey

Ok Go release Muppet Theme Song.

2011-08-23T13:10:00.000-07:00

Beards look great with Puppets, not at all "Rapey"

Well it was only a matter of time before the Muppets called for the A-Team of D.I.Y. music videos. But Weezer were busy so they called the less known, less talented, more open to embarrassment Ok Go.

I'm excited for the movie no doubt, the idea of Muppets in a contemporary setting with added CGI and... aww crap I cant hold it back, this will be shit. I'm sorry, it will be and that upsets me.

The last good Henson Film was "A Muppets Christmas Carol". Which was brilliant simply for that ultra realistic Michael Caine puppet. Pity they can never get the eyes to look like they have souls behind them.

Enjoy the video below.

-Chovey

The Sorry State of Graffiti

2011-08-22T11:10:00.000-07:00

Banksy is cool isn't he? He paints a picture of society on societies somber grey monolith buildings. Graffiti which raised any old "street art" to the lofty heights of Madonnas "Celebration" album cover. Hell most University dorm rooms feature one of his Rats with Elton Johns sunglasses on. So why is it that 99% of Graffiti is shite? I mean is it too much to ask that people put some effort into their anti-social behavior?

Below are some shots of Cheltenham's "Street Art", which I use in the loosest possible terms.
Proof of the state of our streets. No wonder they bloody riot.

As you can see, even with the evident humor of the last 2, its a right sorry state. Not only the standard but the lack of any actual "Street Art" in this county. There is hardly any Graffiti in either Gloucester or Cheltenham. Why? Can anyone help? Surely someone wants to make a mark? Its certainly a blank canvas.

Why not send some sweet art you've found locally and see it up here in the next Graffiti Blog.

Help us be a bit cool over here in the west. Lend us some Art.

woahcooldude@gmail.com

-Chovey

Gadaffi Shot Dead!! Updated!

2011-08-21T14:11:00.000-07:00

Update..And Saif al-Islam has been captured by Ash from Pokemon or Libyan rebels or something! I thought he was still doing concerts in Jersey since he changed his name from Cat Stevens.

Apparently.....

Our view at WoahCoolDude.com is....

Because why would a honey badger care about Libya?

-Chovey

How Laziness leads to Religion

2011-08-21T12:25:00.000-07:00

I might as well start by stating where my allegiance lies, I don’t believe in any supreme beings, roads to enlightenment or any sort of post life immortality; in cloud and golden gates form or other.

Neither do I believe in anyone’s right to dismiss or impede anyone’s rights to express their beliefs and views. Thus if this comes across as all too preachy, insulting or demeaning in anyway, well shove it, you’re an idiot for reading this blog and expecting to find anything moral/ethical/factual or fair.

Everyone is essentially a sceptic, whether it is about shoe prices that are too good to be true or the Cern large hadron collider being a waste of time. (Which it isn’t by the way, we’ve all seen Disney's Black Hole, great film.)

But why is skepticism seen as such a faux-pas in today’s society? In fact skepticism as a word is probably misleading, I prefer to call it by its layman’s term; doubt.

Simply put: everybody doubts something. It’s perfectly fine to doubt climate change apparently, according to most sitcoms we doubt our relationships hourly, its almost good taste to doubt a football managers credentials, but, pardon the pun here, god forbid I doubt the existence of Jesus Christ. That’s just not right, how dare you question our most holy of beliefs. Well.....

I woke up today and turned on BBC1, a tad late for the Match of the day repeat which was a shame, yet just in time to catch some “audience-participation-screen rant” which co-starred caring in the society types and a smattering of religious dudes. By dude I mean reverends, priests, Tom Cruise type dudes, but referring to them by such terms undermines the very fabric of this slacker site. So dudes it is.

What assaulted my senses as I continued to watch this poorly presented tele-visual entertainment was a nonsensical dismissal of scepticism and any form of intelligent questioning.

A gentleman of at least 73 from the semi circular audience surrounding the female religious dude, the black religious dude and the white elderly religious dude, asked a rather cutting question about the value of religion when dealing with the education of children. He was immediately dismissed by all 3 members of the dude alliance. His opinion was seen as laughable, senile and obviously incorrect. They each mentioned with an almost harmonious clarity that they were all raised in religious schools, as was the elderly gentleman himself as were 90% of the audience and “well we all turned out ok didn’t we?”

Well no not all of us did.

What a scathing and horribly bleak view of education they produced. Had they forgotten the numerous crimes committed against children by Catholic priests in the supposedly good natured and safe environments of schools? What about the many children massacred in the Sudan? Killings started and maintained by religious views on ethnic cleansing? Were these valid and horrendous points brought up and mentioned as the dudes laughed off the old mans doubts? Or how about teaching our children to believe in something fictional, with no actual evidence substance or fact behind it, yet implying its as harmless as Father Christmas.

Now this may seem like the usual internet rant against god. He doesn’t exist because there’s too much pain and suffering in the world. There’s no god because there is no evidence. God can’t exist because of scientific evidence disproving most of the biblical fallacies. Well yes true these are all good arguments. Each with its own solid and hard to answer queries.

However what if we stop asking why? And start asking who? That’s a far more valid and scathing critique of the religious.

Why does someone believe in their God? Or why do I, and almost all Atheists, find it so hard to understand, with all the abundant evidence to the contrary, that someone can believe in a God?

I always wonder, when someone talks of their unwavering belief in Jesus, where they get the evidence to support their views? Why don’t they look at some scientific evidence for the big bang, or evolution or the many very decent websites/renowned papers/Richard Dawkins categorically disproving 90% of the bible?

Simply put, why doesn’t the average football fan look up the exact tactics required to break down Chelsea’s heavily packed and defence minded midfield? Why don’t I look up who the cinematographer who helped to make Green Lantern slightly watchable?

Because we are all lazy. Laziness is the very essence of slacking or being a slacker. It’s easier to go with what feels right and what’s easy than to question and doubt ones self.

It’s easier and lazier to not question the masses and your schools syllabus when they say you were born with original sin, or created in the image of a magical high father. I’m not saying that this is the sole reason that religion exists and that if everyone were to thoroughly research their beliefs with an open mind that they would suddenly reach enlightenment.

There are some very intelligent, very sound people who are completely convinced in their belief of the supernatural, however I believe (ironically) that if everybody were to be at least a little critical of there own beliefs we may finally see a rise in the skeptic again.

-Chovey

Weekly Slacker Highlights!

2011-08-19T13:15:00.000-07:00

The Dude waits for news.

Well hello, good afternoon and evening. I didn't mention the morning because I tend not to believe in them. Anyway this is notifying anyone who reads this humble little blog that we are now bothering the brainless worldwide! Our fancy new address is all DOT COM and shit.

And to celebrate said re-birth here is a new weekly feature: Our favourite inter-web based stories and stuff! Because slackers are too lazy to look around for themselves. The title just slides off the tongue doesn't it?

I'll be the Derren Brown of Maths he promises, witchcraft I say!

Click here for the site.

"Oh look another blog" I hear you scream, well actually its a damned good site which looks to teach us retards the way to scam people using maths and words! I know....actual numbers and stuff! Great I'm learning again, I thought alcohol and hard drugs would stop that.

GERVAIS + DWARF = MUPPETS?

Ricky Gervais shows us the promo to his new Series "Life's too short".
After that Seven Dwarves reality show and Loose Women, its bound to be my favourite dwarf themed comedy show.

ITS HARRY POTTER 10 or something....

Its Harry Potter XII or something. Wait, no, its that play I was forced to go and see when I was 15. But now on a big screen and without that substitute teacher trying to bum me on the coach trip back to school.

JOSE ENRIQUE IS NOT HAPPY.

Click here for the link.

My favourite "obviously latino football player" Jose Sanchez Enrique Diaz says that Newcastle United are losing players because of a lack of ambition..... and they're pretty shit...... oh and poor.......and northern....but hey i'm a Newcastle fan so what do I know. Thanks to F365 for that link.

FINALLY.... THE BEST ADVERT OF THE WEEK!!!

Another excellent comedy short from The Natural Confectionery Company. Keep up the sterling and delicious work guys!

More next week.

-Chovey.

Dub-Step: The death of the Underground.

2011-08-17T10:33:00.000-07:00

Skream, Benga, Nero, DJ Fresh, Magnetic Man, Kaspa and Britney Spears. What do these serial music makers have in common? No its not a DJ train run on ol' Britney its Dubstep.

To those who don't know, "Dubstep" is a genre of dance music which combines elements of Drum and Base, Grime, Electro and Jamaican Dub yet comes out sounding wholly different and entirely original. It started in the clubs and record shops of south london during the early 00's. Specifically Big Apple records, from which 3 major movers on the scene originated, Messrs Skream, Plastician & Hatcha. It was the undergrounds worst kept secret for years, filling seedy clubs and supporting D&B nights across the country but never quite crossing over to the mainstream. Its slow beats and heavy "wobble" base seemingly too different to be incorporated into the candy sweet popcharts. However something broke, something scooped up the Dubstep children and placed them firmly in the hands of the arms of the Radio 1 elite. Elements and whole tracks of it can now be found in your favorite David Guetta re-hash and yes even Ms Spears has pilfered from the underground jewels.

DJ Fresh : Louder was number 1 for 2 weeks and now the DJ duo Nero are topping the charts with the Emo/base heavy track "Promises". But why? Why did such a different and precious form of underground experimentalism end up here? Well there isn't one distinct reason but perhaps its very individuality cursed it into the limelight, oh and Twitter.

Here is how: Cool kids like to talk about how and why they're so cool, even though you probably haven't heard who or what they're listening too, the kid with the insanely tight trousers will tell you anyway. Now with Twitter they can tell the world. So, that little band you listened to with Amanda in some Croydon dive, is now that little band that Amanda listened to, loved and then posted as her new favourite, bestest most coolest band of the week on Facebook and which now has 30 likes LOLZ!.

Suddenly there is no underground, anything that is below the street is packaged plastered and listed as "New, Fresh and Exciting." NME and other magazines feature huge spreads listing the next "new" thing. What chance is there for the development of music when its plucked before it even knows what it is, itself? What hope is there when Christina Aguilera is warbling over a Plastician produced track?

Yes, there are many brilliant reasons to support and embrace the new social networks and their spreading of music to un-touched ears. Introducing kids to sounds not heard on Heart FM is brilliant, but we must also make a point of grieving for the death of the underground. Dubstep has shown us the last nails are being slammed into the coffin as we speak.

Chovey

A guide to football for the idiots by an Idiot

2011-08-17T07:36:00.000-07:00

I love footy, jumpers for goal posts and all that. Football eh? Its a funny old game isn't it? Well is it? No it isn't. Its pretty predictable and boring if you actually think about it. Which I have.

So i'm going to make 5 predictions for this season. Come back to me in a year when I've been proven very wrong.

1. Manchester United will lose 2 games in a row, commentators will say the title race is finally open, its anyone's game and we are in for a nail-bitter of a finale. But wait! The "Extra Time Lord" Alex Ferguson's nose has lit up like an electric Rudolf and Man U go on to coast the title with 3 games left. Whoops!

2.Newcastle will be talked up as relegation fodder after 3 losses and unlikely Europa league qualifiers after 3 wins. All this will happen before the January transfer window. Cheik Tiote will be linked with a £14 Million move to Chelsea and Arsenal. They will finish 10th.

3. Liverpool will lose faith in Kenny Dalglish because they aren't 1st by October and lost to West Brom. He will be sung to as a hero while they burn him on a pyre of breeze blocks and stolen tires. Mark Hughes becomes the new boss at Anfield. They finish 6th.

4. Joey Barton does something a bit controversial, like killing a linesman with 3 blades of grass for not smiling after he spat on Alan "Slap Head" Shearer from 200 metres away. He gets a 3 match suspension and a hate piece in The Sun. The country is divided, Barton is a thug, but Shearer is a slap head. He finishes the season with another England cap and his own column in the Guardian called Nasty and the Nietzsche.

5.QPR are relegated, but are commended for a gutsy campaign where they weren't scared to attack and score goals, but they just couldn't defend, surprise! They finish bottom of the pile. Warnock appears in Big Brother 2012. Wins after sucking the marrow bone from Venessa Feltz's dead corpse.

Oh and a little extra for you: 5 players will be caught out in extra marital activities.

At least 3 of these predictions will come true. And if not contact my source.......Gary Neville.

Chovey.