Have you ever had such a bad experience with something or someone that you have an almost violently negative reaction to anything similar you encounter in the future?

It doesn’t have to even be that much alike either; it only needs to spark that little bit of recognition to cause you to start running for the hills. Once you’ve been burned it’s hard to not fear the fire.

So, if you’ve had a bad employment experience, a bad manager, or a bad company in your past you are bound to be a little wary when you are looking for something new. The last thing someone leaving a bad situation wants is to find themselves in the same place, or possibly one even worse.

That kind of caution is understandable but at the same time it could be self-defeating as well. When looking for a new job, you can’t approach it with fear, you have to be positive, excited, and even hopeful. If not, it will come through during an interview and that is never a good thing.

So, what do you tell someone in that kind of mindset? How do you help them get beyond that?

First, let go.

Whether you are still in the tough situation or already out, let it go. Let go of the frustration and bitterness so that it doesn’t hold you back. The longer you hold on, the longer you let that bad situation control you.

Second, hope.

Yes, hope. Hope for a better job, a better company, a better boss. If you’ve been in a tough situation for a while, you can sometimes fool yourself into thinking there isn’t anything better out there or worse, that there is something wrong with you. But you have to hold onto the hope that you will find a better place to be.

And finally, learn.

Now that you’ve been in that kind of situation you know what to look for, what questions to ask, and most importantly, what you want. Just be sure to not bash your past employers while asking, because nothing will hurt your chances in an interview faster than negativity, no matter how well deserved.

The only thing you can control is yourself, so how effectively you can move on from a bad situation rests solely with you. Don’t hold yourself back, grow, move on, and find that better future for you.

Photo credit iStockphoto

Remember the song, “Changes” by David Bowie?  Great lyrics — give it a listen the next time you’re browsing YouTube.

I still don’t know what I was waiting for
And my time was running wild
A million dead-end streets
Every time I thought I’d got it made
It seemed the taste was not so sweet

In July 2010 when I wrote a post for Women of HR on character building, I reflected on the changes going on in my life and how I wasn’t appreciating the value coming from them.  We see change everywhere. We have experts on change management and we tell leaders and employees to embrace change.

It’s BS.  Yes, it really is.

Not that change doesn’t build character – it certainly does!  But it’s easy to be passionate about the value of change when it’s our idea, our choice.  When it’s not, we’re forced to accept change (“turn and face the strain”) because it’s placed upon us by others or by events that occur in our lives.  I heard someone once say,

“The level of peoples’ happiness is based only on the extent that they feel in control of their lives.”

Do you agree with that?  When things are going great in our lives — whether professional or personal, we’re happy, right?  When things aren’t going well, we can get bummed out or grumpy at the world around us.

Back when I wrote that post, I moved away from my boyfriend and the beach to accept a new gig.  The job market was unchanged from today and there were no professional jobs at the beach, let alone a corporate HR gig!  I was gainfully employed but not so thrilled that I had to accept a part time relationship on the personal side.  Yes, I made the decision to move but it wasn’t my ideal choice. Can you see the difference?

I watch the ripples change their size
But never leave the stream
Of warm impermanence and
So the days float through my eyes
But still the days seem the same

I was recently downsized from the job and I’m relieved – truly.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m not taking this lightly and being out of work is stressful on so many levels.  But I’m back at the beach full time with my (now) fiancé and have decided to stay here and start a consulting business.

The risks, new challenges and everything else associated with entering entrepreneurship is overwhelming and will bring on more change. The difference?  I’m controlling this change.

Photo credit:  stock.xchng

One of my favorite motivational posters states,

“If you are not riding the wave of change, you will find yourself beneath it.”

In the world we live  in, change is inevitable and, as HR professionals, we are constantly dealing with it and the effects on our workforce. In my experience I find that people have the same reaction whether the change is positive or negative. More often than not conclusions are formed, rumors are spread and morale takes a hit.

The next time you find yourself communicating change in the workplace, take the following into consideration to ensure transitions go as smoothly as possible.

Communicate the information at the right time. While working at my first job in HR the company announced there would be layoffs and affected employees would be notified right away. Fast forward one month later and nobody had heard another word on the subject. While the company was sorting through everything that comes with a layoff, employees were updating and getting their resumes out and growing more frustrated by the day. Whether they had intended to or not, the company now had a disengaged workforce on their hands.

Wait until you have all pertinent information before making an announcement of that sort, or ensure you do follow up in a time frame consistent to what was conveyed. You may think you are doing the right thing by giving people notice far in advance, but you could just be adding to the anxiety.

Hold follow up meetings as an opportunity for employees to ask questions.No matter how well you communicate the change at hand there will most likely be questions. Employees may be intimidated to ask the question individually, so consider holding a meeting so that they may pose their questions in a group setting. Also, chances are if one person has the question then others do too, and this is an excellent way to keep the workforce from jumping to their own conclusions.

Check in to ensure the changes you made are on track. The news has been communicated, you’ve put any rumors to rest, so now what? Make it a point to check in 30 days, 6 months or one year down the road. Is the change you intended happening as it should? Have employees slipped back to the old way of doing things? Make sure the change is having the desired effect.

Remember, change is inevitable and it’s up to us as HR professionals and leaders to do what we can to make it go as smoothly as possible. What have you done to stay on top of the wave?

Photo credit iStockphoto

In life, there are certain stereotypes that just don’t end.  One is that a woman’s place is in the home.

And for working women like me, there is still the expectation in many homes that we are somehow primarily responsible for the cleaning, cooking, taking care of any home needs, etc.

I’ve gone through the feminist feelings that men are ultimately as responsible for household duties as women are, but it doesn’t get through to most women because we are actually raised to believe this is our contribution.  I take pride in having a clean home, one in which my family enjoys living and loving.  I like knowing that I am the caregiver who ensures the kiddos go off to school in clean clothes and eat meals that are rarely processed foods.  Sure the family helps too, but I view it as my role in the home to lead even though I also work outside the home.

Regardless if you are a working woman or man who has household responsibilities, it’s important to understand that there is a need to use organizational skills to make the tasks easier to maintain and not get overwhelmed.  There are not enough hours in the day to keep a spotless house, cook nutritious and delicious meals, spend quality time with family and give 8-12 hours a day at a job.  It’s impossible to do all these things successfully long term unless you determine tasks that can be managed in a non-traditional way.

In the last ten to fifteen years, women have been enlisting the help of personal assistants, house cleaners, dog walkers and the like in order to free up time to spend with family when they are not working.  Now, as iPads and smartphones are becoming more of a staple, there are countless apps and advances in technology to help manage chores that used to be done from home.

Embracing Technology To Manage The Home

• Appliances that can be started via smartphone are the future.  Spring 2012 will bring  Samsung adding wi-fi options into their appliances.  For example, Samsung’s latest washer/ dryer concept can be started and managed directly from your phone.  LG has a robot vacuum that can be enabled via smartphone.
• iPhone apps like Chore Hero can help distribute chores among family members so that each person knows what needs to be done.  Apps like HomeSmarts can help you manage all the things that need to take place in your household.
• Use GroceryPal app on Android to track and manage all grocery needs. iPhone and iPad have similar applications.

What methods do you use to help manage your household?  As a working woman, do you feel obligated to take on the lion’s share of the household responsibilities?

I enjoy organizing employee engagement programs. I was recognized by employees and they acknowledged my work when they made our office the best place to work for employee engagement.

I was doing an amazing job with employee engagement – or so I thought.

We decided to organize an extensive event at all of our office locations to celebrate a national holiday; we had offices spread across several cities throughout the country. I was busy with the coordination of the event at the central office where I worked and assigned various city office representatives to take care of programs at their respective locations.

In the middle of the event, I received a call from one of our employees from a city office location who asked, “Are we not fortunate enough to have the HR presence during the celebration day, or what?”

He made known to me his feelings of being neglected because there were not any HR personnel to organize the event at his office. Like any other employee, his intention was to inform me through constructive criticism. A reasonable demand of a normal employee, it is not necessary that a celebration day has to come around for us to visit our employees.

It hit me. I had made myself comfortable and played it safe by placing myself only where management team works.

From then on, I decided to travel to all the locations, move out of my comfort zone, reach out to the employees and be one among them. And I must tell you, until that moment these employees had known HR only through emails and other correspondence and I was really happy to see faces of people who I was familiar with only through phone conversations.

My HR visit to their offices was really an eye opening experience to me – and for them. By putting myself out there and moving out of my comfort zone, I gained an in-depth knowledge on how the whole business runs. I was able to understand the difficulties faced by employees at the grass roots level where the work is really done. I got to know where the real revenue was generated.

I got to know the employees and they got to know me. They were able to address their concerns directly to HR and get a quick resolution. There were reduced queries and concerns from employees, happier and more engaged employees and a renewed respect for HR.

So the bottom line is small company or large, on-site or off – make sure HR is easily accessible and the presence of HR is felt everywhere in the organization. Don’t spend too much time at your desk by sending mails and reading articles. Reach out to employees, spend time with them to understand their problems and concerns and proactively act on them before they have to approach you.

Don’t just think it . . . do it. Explore the opportunities that await you outside of your comfort zone.

Photo Credit: iStockphoto

About the author: Nisha Raghavan, is an HR professional with hands on experience in Talent Management and Talent Acquisition from Telecom Industry. Nisha shares her views and experiences in the HR field on her blog, Your HR Buddy . You can connect with Nisha on Twitter as @thehrbuddy. 

When you went to work this morning, you had a job. When you came home, you did not.

Maybe you hated your job so bad, you just quit without having a new position lined up. More likely, your employer terminated you and you’re devastated. Whatever the reason, you’re back in the job market again.

If you were terminated through no fault of your own, take a day or two to recover from the shock and assess your financial situation. Determine how long your severance pay and your savings will last; be brutal in cutting out discretionary expenses.

If you aren’t already following a regular exercise routine, establish one now. Exercise is a great way to reduce stress and keep yourself in shape. Now is not the time to have health problems.

The job may be gone, but you’ve still got your skills and will be a valuable employee to an appreciative employer.

Networking is a Valuable Tool

Start networking almost immediately. Work your contacts to see if they know of any jobs where your talents and skills can be put to good use. If you want to expand your networking beyond known contacts, consider joining LinkedIn, an online networking system for business people in every field. A basic membership is free and allows you access to thousands of groups where members have interests similar to yours.

If money isn’t an immediate problem, consider setting up your own business. Many people go on to operate successful businesses after losing a job. You could be a freelance consultant in your field. It’s even possible, if you lost your job due to an economic downturn, your employer will hire you back on a freelance basis.

Temporary Jobs Can Lead to Permanent Positions

Temping is another option for finding work. Register with the temporary employment agencies that specialize in your field. It is not uncommon for a temporary assignment to turn into a permanent position as many employers like to “try out” employees before hiring them.

Be Positive!

Above all, keep a positive attitude. On bad days, it’s easy to wallow in self-pity and feel worthless. Consider this: You got your last job because of your skills; your skills will get you another job.

Make a list of your major accomplishments at your last job, and the skills you used to achieve them. Review it whenever you feel down. The list will come in handy at job interviews and make it easier for you to adopt a positive can-do attitude before a prospective employer.

If you feel like you’ll never be hired again, it could turn out to be a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Photo credit: iStockphoto.com

About the author: This post was contributed by Kelly Austin from highersalary.com and is geared towards helping people make specific, positive changes that will avoid mistakes and propel them toward their goals and towards success.

Debbie* is brilliantly creative. She leads the public relations campaigns for one of the largest health care facilities in the United States, but she yearns to be her own boss, brave the entrepreneurial path and reinvent the long forgotten power of the written word.

Jill* is an intellectual, with a brain that moves at warp speed. She has advanced degrees in education and worked as an elementary school principal while writing her doctoral thesis. As her mind mulled over the complex issue of praising children for their results or their efforts, her soul asked if it could go outside, sit under a tree and write fiction.

These two smart, savvy and socially adept women were successfully climbing a career ladder. Socially, these women earned top marks. They were accepted by friends, family and society for being wonderful pillars of social order, but their inner knowing, their essential self, was tired of pleasing everybody else, tired of playing the game, tired of repressing deeper feelings and real dreams.

********************************

Every woman who has ever yearned to be someplace else, but dutifully shows up where she is asked, or any woman who sits in a boring meeting, nodding with consent while secretly visualizing her hidden talents being applauded by thousands, knows the struggle only too well between the social self and the essential self.

Who are these two opposing elements that reside within the same bodily domicile and why must they struggle? And… is it okay that you hear these different voices?

First, every individual has a social self and an essential self. The social self is the persona which conforms to the demands of family, friends, community, and society and which an individual generally develops for acceptance or for protection. The essential self is an individual’s true self and expresses the individual’s thoughts, feelings, desires, needs, and inner purpose.

The social self often runs in opposition to the essential self in order to avoid ruffling the feathers of those around you, or to keep the status-quo. Your social self is geared to be avoidance based, conforming, predictable and hardworking. Your essential self is wired to be attraction-based, unique, surprising and playful.

How can two juxtaposed selves reside in the same place? Not easily. In fact, most days they are in conflict, but when they do agree to work together, it’s bliss. Literally.

The language of your essential self is this:

• Energy. Your essential self has lots and lots of energy! Feeling lethargic, drained or even exhausted is a sign that your social self has ruled too long. It’s time for a revolution. Take note of the activities that drain you and the activities that revive your energy levels. Where you’re peppy and full of zip is where your essential self resides.

• Health. Your essential self keeps you healthy! Every stressful experience causes a physiological response in the body within seventy-two hours. Frustrating encounters with colleagues lead to headaches, neck pain and an over-burdened immune system. You may not even realize your social self is ruling you until you drop an activity, a job, or a mate and suddenly see yourself looking and feeling better.

• Memory. Your essential self is a sponge not a sieve! Where lies your passion, lies your memory. Ever try to learn information that was boring? When you feel apathetic, or are downright disinterested your brain has a heck of a time hanging onto bits of data. However, when you are genuinely motivated or passionate about a topic, the smallest bits of trivia are valued like gold nuggets.

• Time flies. Your essential self cannot tell time! If the second hand on the clock has stopped moving, your essential self is gasping for air. When you lose track of time, absorbed in an activity that has drastically increased your attention span, your essential self is fully engaged.

• High. A natural one. Your essential self puts you in a good mood! When your social self is tempted to be scared, but your essential self is feeling exhilarated, you’ll float, having found such inner peace that even bitter, nasty, social self driven individuals will not be able to burst your balloon of happiness.

When you reconnect and start speaking the language of your essential self, you thrive. When you are feeling cynical, have doubts, or experience fear, thank your social self for wanting to keep you safe, and then sweetly ask it to be quiet. Pain, self-sacrifice, suffocation or numbness of your spirit are not helping you reach your fullest potential, nor helping you offer your greatest good to the world.

********************************

Debbie just finished assembling two hundred and fifty of the most gorgeous wedding invitations. The bride and groom are socially tickled and Debbie is essentially ecstatic with the results. Jill just completed a series of children’s book about the most adorably curious boy and his imaginary adventures. Her essential self will give every child who reads her stories the gift of discovering their own greatest potential.

Go on, get high … naturally. It’s essential.

Photo credit iStockphoto *All names have been changed.

The old saying about the cobbler’s children not having shoes can apply to HR professionals and their own careers. How many of you put yourself last on the list when it comes to career planning? Are you so busy counseling everyone else that you’ve forgotten to take a good look at your own needs?

With the start of a new year,  it’s a good time to inspect your own career and see if it’s time for a brush-up.

• Personal Data

• Is your resume up-to-date? Have you added new skills and accomplishments from the prior year?
• Do you have a list of current articles or blog postings you’ve published, presentations you’ve made, or trainings you’ve conducted?
• Do you have a list of 3 people you could readily use as a reference? Do they know what you’re doing in your career? When was the last time you spoke with them?

• Networking

• Are you active in your local chapter of SHRM? When was the last time you attended a meeting? Volunteered for a committee?
• Is your LinkedIn profile up-to-date? Do you regularly add connections as you meet new people in the business community?
• Have you invited a colleague for coffee or lunch anytime in the last month?

• Knowledge and Credentials

• Do you regularly read HR articles and keep your knowledge up-to-date?
• Have you obtained your PHR, SPHR, or GPHR? If not, why not? If you have certification, is your credential up-to-date and do you have the credits you need to recertify?
• What was the last new skill you learned or topic you gained expertise on? Is it on your resume?

• Looking Ahead

• Do you know what you want to be doing 5 – 7 years from now? Do you have a plan to get you there?
• What are you doing to demonstrate your expertise to the HR community? (Hint: you can write for WomenofHR.com)
• Is there a new skill you want to learn but have been putting off?

If answering these questions has put you in a positive frame of mind as you check off the items, that’s great! Pat yourself on the back for giving yourself and your career the priority it deserves.

If, on the other hand, you felt an overwhelming sense of “Oh crap!” as you read this list, do not despair!  A career checkup isn’t like your annual doctor’s visit – it doesn’t take place in one hour. And you don’t have to rush it.

Right now, think of three small, ridiculously easy things you can do to move you forward. For example,register for your local SHRM (or other HR association) chapter meeting, call a former boss or colleague and invite him/her to lunch, just to catch up or send a LinkedIn connection request to someone new you met in the last month.

Keep track of your progress and reward yourself for any action you take, no matter how small. Taking time for yourself and your career isn’t selfish, it’s just smart.

Photo credit iStockphoto

Several weeks ago I sat next to a very nice older couple on a plane.  I estimated their ages at as close to 80 which means they were probably born at some time in the 1930s and came of age in the 1950s.

In between watching Law and Order: SVU episodes on the airplane TV service, I was scribbling some notes on a legal pad as I reviewed some work materials I had brought along with me. This prompted the Mrs. to open up a fresh line of chit chat with me, as she, with a wide-eyed look on her face inquired,

“Do you work outside the home?”

I have to admit…I don’t think I’ve ever been asked that question in my life.  Nor, quite frankly, did it ever occur to me that anyone would think it even was a question to be phrased that way.  I’ve heard “what do you do?” or “where do you work?” but I don’t think I’ve ever been asked if I worked.  And needless to say, explaining to this lovely woman precisely what Human Resources professionals do presented somewhat of a challenge.

But the conversation got me thinking about the varying perspectives we have of women in the workforce; viewpoints that are often glimpsed through a cultural or historical lens.  It’s quite probable that a young woman coming of age in the post WWII era was content (perhaps) with her life and resigned to the fact that her role was to work ‘at home.’  A woman reaching the voting age in the 1950’s was but one generation removed from even having the right to vote.  Thanks to the feminist movement, the Mrs. was able to head to the polling place and pull a lever to show that she did, indeed, “Like Ike.”

But it’s possible she doesn’t want to acknowledge or express any gratitude to feminists; that’s somewhat common. Whether first wave (primarily focused on suffrage and reproductive issues), second wave (primarily focused on equality) or third-wave (challenging and redefining ‘feminism’), feminists have often made men and women uncomfortable even while pushing for societal change that forever changed the lives of women:

• In 1848, the first women’s rights convention was held in Seneca Falls, New York. At the end of the convention, some radical resolutions were adopted – shockingly calling for equal treatment of women and men under the law and voting rights for women.
• In 1870, for the first time, the US Census counted “females engaged in each occupation.”  At that time, women comprised 15% of the workforce.
• In 1920, the US Department of Labor formed “The Women’s Bureau” which was tasked with collecting information about women in the workforce and ensuring safe working conditions.  Later that year, the 19^th Amendment to the Constitution was signed into law, granting women the right to vote.
• Between the 1930s and 1950s, a number of business and school districts enacted “marriage bars” which allowed them to fire single women when they married and also allowed them to refuse to hire married women.
• In 1961, President Kennedy established the President’s Commission on the Status of Women and in 1963 the Commission issued a report documenting substantial discrimination against women in the workplace.  Specific recommendations were issued by the Commission including instituting fair hiring practices, offering paid
  maternity leave, and ensuring access to affordable child care.
• In 1968, the US Supreme Court ruled that sex-segregated help wanted ads in newspapers were illegal.

I’ve thought of this conversation quite a bit lately.  It’s entirely possible that this couple have no children or grandchildren. For surely if they do have grandchildren they’ve found that many (dare I say most?) young women fully intend to continue their post high-school education and work outside the home.  While there are some people who yearn for a return to a society with strictly-defined gender rules based on religious reasons, I find it hard to believe that the majority of westerners don’t appreciate how the role of women has changed.

I, for one, tip my hat and raise my glass high to salute Elizabeth Cady Stanton, Simone de Beauvoir, Betty Friedan and all the other brave women who paved the way.

Now let me get back to work.

Photo credit iStockphoto

It’s very, very easy to see having too much to do in too little time as a source of stress.  Believe me, I know.  A weasel recently chewed through my brake cable in the middle of a busy week and I was like, ‘Really, car-eating weasels?  3 kids and a demanding job aren’t enough?’

But constraints can also be a source of inspiration, creativity and amazing performance.

Constraints provide structure and help clarify priorities but I never really thought about it in so many words until recently, when I came across the same idea in two completely different books I’ve been reading. It’s clearly a sign of … something.

• The first book, Presentation Zen by Garr Reynolds, talks about how time constraints force the presenter to condense their key ideas down to a single memorable message.

Other types of constraints, such as format or content constraints, force presenters to get creative about how to get the message across. In the absence of such constraints, people come up with some pretty long, boring presentations because it’s easier to cram a lot of words on a slide than figure out what your key message is. If you want better presentations, try telling people they can only show one slide.  Some people will completely miss the point and cover the slide with tiny 10-point words.  Others will surprise you with the simplicity and clarity of their message.

• The second book, Rise by Patty Azzarello, talks about how successful people not only achieve more but make sure others know about their achievements.

The catch is you don’t get any extra time to do this, you have to figure out how to do more and communicate better in the same amount of time you have today.  This isn’t just a question of working more efficiently, it’s a question of being strategic about how you work. It’s about turning your limits into a competitive advantage, which sounds like jargon but it’s true. No one can do everything. Effective people focus on the 3 things they’re going to do out of the 200 things they could do.

We all know people who achieve amazing results by working 80 hours a week.  Because they work so many hours they don’t need to be particularly efficient or innovate about how they do the work.  These people get a lot done but they don’t move the organization forward – and ultimately don’t move forward themselves – because they don’t scale.

We also all know people who do less but achieve more.  This doesn’t mean they’re better or smarter than everyone else but they ARE better at prioritizing and communicating.  Maybe they have kids.  Maybe they have a health problem.  Maybe they want their work to have a visible impact.  Whatever their constraint, they’ve figured out how to turn it into an advantage, usually through a combination of ruthless prioritization and excellent communication.

Not having enough time can be a gift. It forces you to figure out you core message before you present to busy people.  It forces you to find a way to do your most important work in the time you have available.  And it forces you to focus on what will have the highest positive impact instead of wasting time being ‘busy.’   None of these things are career limiting, by the way.

This would be a good time for a comment about ‘business’ and ‘busyness’ but that would be cheap and obvious. Instead I will leave you with this thought:

Limitations are like opportunities.  They are what you make of them.

Photo credit iStockphoto