A few years ago, I landed the job of my dreams. But just days after I started, my boss began making jokes at my expense; soon she was brutally shooting down my ideas and undermining my authority. Every morning, I swore that this would be the day I’d turn things around, but each evening I’d leave exhausted and discouraged.

“This is the classic toxic scenario,” says Lillian Glass, Ph.D., author of Toxic People: 10 Ways of Dealing With People Who Make Your Life Miserable. Unhealthy relationships, whether with a boss or a friend, threaten self-esteem, enthusiasm and judgment. “You spend too much of your emotional energy trying to stay afloat rather than using it to carve out the kind of life you want for yourself,” she says.

Getting out seems like the obvious solution, but it’s not a one-size-fits-all answer. You have to weigh the potential benefits of the situation against the amount of your suffering, says Albert J. Bernstein, Ph.D., author of Emotional Vampires (McGraw-Hill, 2000). Then, you must determine whether you think it’s possible to fix things and, if so, how much effort you want to put into it.

For example, I was making a great salary and learning a lot. Ultimately, though, I decided the environment was too damaging, and I quit after six months.

Fortunately, just recognizing that you’re in a poisonous predicament is the first step to gaining control. Here, experts give their advice for dealing with dysfunctional relationships in four environments: family, work, friendship and romance. Once you know the warning signs, you can use these strategies to make your interactions healthier and happier.

Continued On Detox Your Life - Toxic Family

Part of the reason that sleep seems so elusive is the demands of the workday world. Back-to-back meetings, heavy meals, and high doses of caffeine from 9 to 5 all can make it more diffiicult to get that restorative shuteye. Long work days, lack of sleep and irregular sleep routines tire us out, and the resulting fatigue not only impairs our ability to make sound decisions on the job, but dulls our senses, decreases productivity and ups the risk of mental mistakes and even physical injury due to accidents.

All of us have experienced the misery of lying awake at night, worrying about the sleep we aren’t getting, then stumbling through the day. The good news is that you can improve your chances of a good night’s sleep by making your sleep environment as comfortable and snooze-inducing as possible. Better Sleep Council Director Andrea Herman has found that, “unlike other sleep-robbing culprits, like stress or illness, sleep environment factors are controllable. This means that millions are needlessly sleep-deprived and suffering the consequences.” While she admits that “growing demands on our lives and endless ‘to do’ lists can make it difficult to get enough sleep,” she adds that “it’s important to make sleep a priority and to strive to get the best quality sleep that we can.

“We all have too much to do, so make the most out of your time in bed,” Herman says. “How well you sleep at night can make all the difference in how productive you’ll be the next day. Sleep in a cool, quiet, dark room on a comfortable, supportive mattress to help ensure a great night’s sleep.”

The following tips should help you get the sleep you need and deserve.

1. Give yourself “permission” to go to bed. As hard as it may be to put away your “to do” list, make sleep a priority. You’ll thank yourself in the morning.

2. Unwind early in the evening. Try to deal with worries and distractions several hours before bedtime.

3. Develop a sleep ritual. Doing the same things each night just before bed signals your body to settle down for the night. Some people find that reading a romance novel or a similarly escapist book until they get drowsy helps them drift off to dreamland.

4. Keep regular hours. Keep your biological clock in check by going to bed around the same time each night and waking up close to the same time each morning, even on weekends.

5. Sleep in a dark room to get a restful night’s sleep. Just as light cues
our bodies to wake up, darkness cues us to sleep. If outside light makes your room too bright, try an eye mask or window coverings that darken the bedroom.

6. Sleep on a comfortable, supportive mattress and foundation. It’s difficult to sleep on a bed that’s too small, too soft, too hard, or too old.

7. Exercise regularly. Working out at (east three times a week can help relieve tension and stress. Be careful not to exercise too close to bedtime or you may have trouble falling asleep.

8. Cut down on stimulants. Consuming stimulants, such as caffeine, in the evening can make it more difficult to fall asleep.

9. Don’t smoke. Smokers take longer to fall asleep and wake up more often during the night.

10. Reduce alcohol intake. Drinking alcohol shortly before bedtime interrupts and fragments sleep.

11. Don’t go to bed stuffed or starved. A stomach that is either too full or too empty may cause physical discomfort, making it difficult to sleep through the night.

12. Eat foods that can help you sleep. If you’re hungry and can’t get to sleep, try eating foods that contain the amino acid L-tryptophan, such as milk, eggs, tuna fish, cottage cheese and poultry.

13. Earplugs or a white noise machine may help if noise is a problem. Sudden, loud noises from outside or inside the bedroom can result in fragmented sleep.

14. If you’re too hot or too cold, simply adjust the thermostat. When a bedroom is too hot or too cold, both quality and quantity of sleep are compromised. The optimal temperature for sleep is between 60 to 65 degrees Fahrenheit or 16 to 18 degrees Celsius.

SYMPTOM 1: YOU FEEL DISTANT FROM YOUR LIFE
When you’re overly stressed, it’s easy to get wrapped up in negativity and lose touch with what you normally feel enthusiastic and passionate about. “When stress levels get too high, you become disconnected from your true feelings,” explains licensed social worker Belleruth Naparstek, creator of a guided-imagery stressreduction program called Health Journeys for People Experiencing Stress. “For example, a nurse who’s burned out may no longer have empathy for her patients. She doesn’t remember what brought her to the profession in the first place.”
BOUNCE BACK: If work is the culprit, try to remember what sparked your interest in that field. “Ask yourself if you have the same sense of mission, purpose and commitment,” suggests Emmett Miller, M.D., cofounder of the California Task Force on Self-Esteem. If not, it may be time to switch careers or to recommit to your job.

Major changes don’t happen overnight. Start by reconnecting with your emotions. Think about the aspects of your work-and your life that you do enjoy, and build on them. One way to do this is to take a vacation. It doesn’t have to be a long or expensive one; spending a day doing only things that make you happy can help you gain perspective.

SYMPTOM 2: YOU’RE OFTEN HOSTILE AND ANGRY
“I knew I was burned out when I started snarling at people under my breath in the supermarket,” says Shauna Sampson, a 34-year-old mother of two in San Francisco. “I even turned around and yelled at a person in an SUV waiting for my parking space, `You and your gas-guzzling car aren’t going to fit!”‘
BOUNCE BACK: Sampson was lashing out at strangers because she wasn’t in touch with what was really upsetting her. “When I got home, I realized that, with a young child and a newborn, I was completely overwhelmed and sleep deprived, not to mention frustrated with my job,” Sampson explains. “I acknowledged what was making me unhappy and then focused on how I could change it. I began by drawing distinct boundaries between work and home-like turning off my phone in the evenings-so I could spend more quality time with my children.” Identifying the real source of your hostility is the first step toward dissipating it; the second is channeling your anger into something you care about, says Steven Berglas, Ph.D., author of Reclaiming the Fire: How Successful People Overcome Burnout. “Get involved in a cause that enables you to use your skills in a constructive way. This will help boost your self-esteem and temper the hostility you’re feeling,” he explains.

SYMPTOM 3: YOU BLOW EVERYTHING OUT OF PROPORTION
Liz Artis, 32, an editor in New York City, wanted to buy a house but had set a deadline that, in reality, she couldn’t meet. “As the date approached, I got very anxious and convinced myself it would never happen,” she says.
BOUNCE BACK: Regain your equilibrium by doing a reality check, says Jonathan C. Smith, Ph.D., distinguished professor of psychology at Roosevelt University in Chicago. “Evaluate whether you have unrealistic expectations,” he says.

That’s what Artis did, and she realized she was overreacting. “I was trying to do too much too soon,” she says. “So I revised my plan. I created short-term projects-like getting my financial info in order by a certain date-that would bring me closer to my ultimate goal.”

SYMPTOM 4: YOU FEEL AS IF YOU’RE DROWNING
We all get overwhelmed sometimes. But if you can’t seem to manage your life, personally or professionally, then it’s time to take stock.
BOUNCE BACK: The first step may be learning to say no to the things that are causing you stress. Whether it’s refusing to work late again or telling a friend you need her to listen to your troubles for a change, make a conscious choice to speak out, says Dr. Miller.

Next, try to lower your standards, at least for the time being. “Settling for nothing less than perfection all the time is a recipe for disappointment,” says Naparstek. If the house is dirty, treat yourself to a cleaner or make peace with the clutter.

SYMPTOM 5: YOU FEEL ISOLATED
You’re particularly likely to feel alone if the origin of your stress is a difficult or demanding job. Jen Bekman, 32, spent the last year and a half working so hard at an Internet company that she never even bought herself a bed, let alone paid attention to her personal life. It wasn’t until she got fired that she realized how closed off she had become. “I took the opportunity to take better care of myself, and part of that meant spending more time with family and friends,” she says.
BOUNCE BACK: Stay tapped into your support network. Call one friend every night. Ask your coworkers about their families and hobbies rather than just chatting about work. Find moments of real human contact every day. “The single most effective thing we can do to prevent burnout is to sustain positive, loving relationships,” says Dr. Miller.

SYMPTOM 6: YOU ACHE ALL OVER
Your body sends signals to alert you that you’ve pushed yourself too far, but you may miss them if you’re out of touch with yourself physically. “If you notice an increase in aches and pains and can’t identify the cause, your body’s letting you know you’ve had enough,” says Jesse Hanley, M.D., author of Tired of Being Tired. “The sooner you realize that stress could be the culprit, the earlier you can prevent a serious chronic condition.”
BOUNCE BACK: Naparstek recommends taking a careful inventory of your body. Breathe deeply and focus first on your head. Then, let go of any tension as you work your way down to your toes. You may also want to try a body-conscious workout like yoga or tai chi. “Yoga offers true physical and mental release,” says Joe Naudzunas, a certified instructor at the Iyengar Yoga Institute of San Francisco.

SYMPTOM 7: YOU’RE HAVING TROUBLE SLEEPING
Insomnia and other sleep difficulties (such as waking up in the middle of the night) may be signals that you’re wound so tight your body can’t function properly.
BOUNCE BACK: If you wake up frequently or have trouble falling asleep because you’re mulling over a problem, make a “worry date.” Tell yourself that you’ll deal with it at a certain time the next day, and put it out of your mind for the night. Noemi Balinth, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist, also recommends keeping pen and paper at your bedside. “Jotting down intrusive thoughts allows you to get back to sleep quickly, safe in the knowledge that you can return to them later,” she says.

Science would have us believe that due to natural selection and pure dumb luck, everything fell into perfect place for life to begin. The odds of this happening are so great that it would take several massive hard drives to hold all the zeros, but since it is not mathematically impossible, we will not dismiss it.

Religion, on the other hand, wants us to believe that everything and everyone were created by an all powerful God. Scientists tell us that the odds of this are at least as high. But again, it is not impossible, so let us not dismiss this either.

Neither one of us were there at the time, so let us discuss which one is more likely.

As to the beginning of the universe, according to one scientific theory, and there are many, there was this big bang. Since this seems to be the most popular theory, let’s examine it.
Supposedly, there was this miniscule bit of matter no bigger than the head of a pin, that was so dense that it collapsed upon itself and exploded in a bang beyond belief.
This matter spread far and wide, creating the stars, planets, and everything else in existence. This would explain why the universe is constantly expanding.

From that point, everything fell into place by chance until we ended up where we are today.
However, one thing that science has not been able to explain is where that miniscule bit of highly dense matter came from in the first place.
The laws of physics states that matter cannot be created or destroyed. In other words, you cannot make something out of nothing. Hence, the problem with this theory, or any scientific theory for that matter, is that they are all scientifically impossible.

I believe that it was Sherlock Holmes that once stated that when you eliminate the impossible, whatever is left, no matter how improbable, must be true. That being the case, what about intelligent design?
Since God is an omnipotent being, He exists beyond the laws of physics. In other words, He doesn’t play by the same rules that we do.

There is no reason to believe that God did not use the laws of physics to create the universe. The Bible says that He created the world in seven days and most people believe that to mean seven earth days. However, an Earth day is based on one revolution of the Earth, using our sun as a guide. But God did not create the Sun until the forth day.
2 Peter, 3:8 says that one day is with the Lord as a thousand years. We do not even know if that is literal or figurative. In other words, seven days to the Lord could span millions of years to us.

Science prides itself on logic and fact. They claim that the idea of a supreme being is so ridiculously unlikely that it is ludicrous to believe in such a thing.
But then they choose to believe something that is not just unlikely, but impossible.
So ask yourself this. Who is crazier, the one who believes in something that cannot be proven or the one who believes in something that can be proven wrong?

I would dare say that having occasional ‘Monster Parent’ moments are quite common among parents. After all, we are only humans and we have good days and bad days. But beware that these occasional ‘Monster Parent’ moments do not become too frequent. Do not end up becoming an abusive parent.

So, what can you do to avoid becoming a ‘Monster Parent’?

1. Identify your triggers:
Take some time out to sit down and identify the times or situations when you tend to resort to violence or shouting. Is it always during meal times? Or is it in the morning when you are rushing to work and getting the kids to school? Mothers, you may even want to consider if it has any connection with your menstrual cycle. What triggers your anger?

2. Plan to make things more workable:
After identifying your triggers, come up with an action plan. This includes adjusting your expectations. Meaning, accept the fact that it may be difficult for them to change overnight. So come up with solutions to make life more bearable for you. For example, you have Miss Picaso who loves to scribble on your walls. How about designating a special wall-scribbling-area by sticking big pieces of white paper on that wall for her scribbling pleasure. And if your child is a slow eater, don’t plan appointments right after lunch.

3. Learn from the experience:
Don’t react the same way again and again when faced with the same situation. Decide how you are going to handle it differently the next time. Plan what you are going to say and do. If you find yourself screaming and hitting your children every time they fight, decide what is a better way to handle the problem when they fight again next time. Put them both in time out? Hear them both out first? Encourage them to negotiate with each other? Decide before hand how you will respond to specific situations.

4. Make rules and stick by it:
Let your children know what ticks you off. Work out the rules and consequences. If your children are older, you can make the rules together.

5. Focus on the positive:
Somehow we tend to take notice of our children’s misconduct more easily and quickly than we do of their good works. I’m sure you’ve heard that praising is the better motivator for good behavior. To steer your focus in the right direction, you could make a “Good Behavior” chart and put a mark for each good thing your children do the whole day.

6. Allow yourself some “Me” time:
Don’t hesitate to take a break from time to time. Get a babysitter or have your spouse take over for a few hours. Go pamper yourself and rejuvenate.

Nobody wants to be a ‘Monster Parent’ but it happens from time to time. The trick is to not let it get out of hand. Take time to evaluate your abusive patterns and triggers. Make a plan today to put that “Monster” in chains.

The primary struggle for those with bipolar disorder is with mood regulation. This becomes more difficult because those who are experiencing the symptoms often don’t recognize there is a problem. The average age of onset of bipolar disorder is about 19 years old. Most professionals agree that it is a biologically based mental illness, and the greatest factor for predicting the development of the disorder is genetics. It runs in families. The illness is thought to be caused by chemical imbalances in certain brain cells that are responsible for regulating emotions and behavior. As would be expected, bipolar disorder greatly impacts family members, friends, and even employers, as they attempt to deal with the extremes of mood and behavior along with the affected person.

The symptoms of bipolar disorder vary depending on which part of the cycle the person is experiencing. Note that these are not the normal ups and downs most people face. The extremes of bipolar disorder are severe and can be life threatening, on either end.
The depressive stage of this disorder is similar to a major depression. This likely involves extreme sadness and lethargy, an inability to concentrate, marked change in appetite, insomnia, and loss of interest in daily activities. In some cases it can include suicide attempts as well.

In the manic phase, the opposite pole of the depressive stage, the person’s energy and activity levels can be off the scale. They don’t sleep; they can get into spending sprees, and take on elevated beliefs about their abilities and powers. This combined with impaired judgment can lead to daredevil, and even life threatening behaviors. So the manic phase is not a “happy” one, it looks more like out of control hyperactivity with severe consequences.

It is not uncommon for those with bipolar disorder to exhibit psychotic kinds of symptoms as well. These can include delusions or hallucinations.

The bad news is that without treatment, the effects of bipolar disorder will generally worsen and can become devastating. So it is important to begin treatment as early as possible. The treatment of bipolar disorder is usually two fold - medications and therapy. Typically, mood stabilizers and antidepressants are the medications used to control the major symptoms. These may include: lithium, antipsychotics, electro-convulsive therapy, and even thyroid hormone, with lithium being the most widely used mood-stabilizing medication since the 1970s. A challenge in treating the disease is convincing the affected person that treatment is even necessary and that it is imperative they take their medication regularly. Additionally, management of the disorder is more difficult with those folks who are also substance abusers.

In summary, bipolar disorder is a serious mental illness that involves extreme mood swings and extreme behaviors. It is a highly disruptive and potentially life threatening illness. Although there is no cure, with proper treatment, people living with bipolar disorder can live normal lives.

One of those festivals is of Roman origin, Saturnalia, which was named after the Roman god Saturn. During Saturnalia, people gave gifts to one another - a tradition that has endured to this very day.
The other is the Winter Solstice festival, which came to us from the Nordic peoples. It was especially prevalent in Britain too, where it became part of Anglo Saxon lore. We still preserve tradition to this day that reflect the customs and beliefs of these ancient peoples. Why do we have Christmas trees, and holly? What do they have to do with the birth of Jesus? Nothing, actually.

The ancient Britons were fascinated by the ability of evergreens to retain their color, even when all other leaves had turned to red and brown, and had died before the coming of the winter snow. Green symbolized the passing of winter and the much-awaited onset of spring. Therefore, when we place a Christmas tree in our homes, we are preserving an age old tradition dating back to our European ancestors.

In fact, Santa Claus was supposed to be clad in green, and not red. He is thought to have been a personification of Odin, chief of the gods in Norse mythology. This tradition blended almost seamlessly with the ‘new’ image of Santa, who is based upon a real person. Interestingly, Santa only became the red and white, jolly figure we know today because of a commercial promotion by Coca Cola in the thirties, who made Santa red forever, to match their own company’s established color.

So, in the end, anyone, Christian or not, can celebrate the joys of Christmas. Give presents, send Christmas cards and decorate a Christmas tree with beautiful lights and objects, and let us all share in the peace, joy and love that is…Christmas.

Anorexia is a life threatening psychological condition where a person believes he or she is too obese, never thin enough, resulting in self starvation and excessive exercising to the point of malnutrition. This condition seems to be more prevalent among teenage girls and young women but not exclusively. Cases have also been found among men, young children, and even some women as old as sixty. It is characterized by extremely low body weight, and a distorted sense of self perception.

The physiological state of anorexia creates a great strain on the heart and cardiovascular system. Symptoms include slow heart rate, an electrolyte imbalance, muscle weakness, and a breakdown of the immune system resulting finally in death. Anorexia can also lead to stunted growth, shrunken bones, mineral loss, kidney damage, liver damage, destruction of teeth, disruption of menstrual cycle, infertility, and a host of other damaging symptoms.
There are various types of eating disorders, but the main ones include anorexia nervosa, bulimia nervosa, rumination disorder, and pica.

Bulimia nervosa, like anorexia, is an eating disorder in reaction to a perceived weight gain. The subject with bulimia engages in binge eating many times during the day and then follows the binging with intentional purging by inducing vomiting. Some subjects with anorexia also combine binging and purging with their starvation routine.

Rumination is an eating disorder whereby a person after eating regurgitates the contents from his/her stomach back into the mouth to be chewed again. The disorder is associated with nervousness and axiety-related issues after eating a meal, and is also related to anorexia and bulimia.

Pica is a disorder whereby a person develops an appetite for things that are not food at all such as dirt, coal, chalk, cardboard, clay, and even cigarette butts. Pica can occur in people of all ages, but is found especially in young children with learning disabilities and children of poor developing countries. Pica is usually caused by a biochemical deficiency such as an iron deficiency. Once the deficiency is found and resolved in a patient, the pica disorder is also resolved. Treatment for pica include some psychosocial and family guidance techniques involving associating negative consequences with eating non-food items.

In today’s society, especially in developed countries, the pressure for women to live up to an unrealistic ideal “thin” image is imposed, celebrated, and glamorized by the media and the culture. Magazine covers in newsstands everywhere portray that “desired image” and at the same time send out a message of equating or associating that image to being successful, beautiful and having self-worth.
There’s a societal pressure in this society for young women and teenage girls to be thin. In fields of ballet, modeling, and the entertainment industry, competition is fierce. Importance is placed on that ideal “thin” look by these institutions, especially in the modeling and ballet worlds. Even though it is generally accepted in the medical world that the causes of anorexia nervosa are inconclusive, the idea that societal pressures are one of the causes for this mental disorder is not far-fetched.

Aside from society and the media celebrating a culture of excessive thinness, there are other factors that interact with each other to cause anorexia. Scientists determined that the interaction of genetics, environment, biochemistry, and personality traits also contribute to the eating disorder. Most people with anorexia share similar personality traits such as perfectionism and low self-esteem. They also share some other psychological issues such as control issues, lack of coping skills, the need for attention, and depression.
Since the causes of anorexia are multifaceted, the treatment can include a variety of approaches, most of which are psychological in nature. The first step to recovery though is to restore the person to a normal or close-to-normal body weight that is out of the danger zone. It’s best if the patient can be diagnosed early and steps can be taken to treat the patient either in a hospital or as an outpatient. The patient who is far along in his/her disorder may be in need of urgent hospitalization to prevent death. In the beginning, weight gain is the biggest obstacle to initial recovery.

After weight has been stabilized, psychotherapy and/or counseling is the initial avenue of treatment in order to deal with the issues of self-hate and low self esteem that are at the root of the disorder. Cognitive-behavioral therapy can also be used to change destructive thoughts and behaviors. Then there’s group therapy and family therapy to give the patient a support group. A physician would also be involved in prescribing medication to deal with anxiety or depression.

For someone with anorexia or any other eating disorder, it’s a tough road back to health. In the beginning most patients resist treatment because of denial. Recovery can take 7 to 10 years or more. Eighty percent of people with eating disorders who seek out treatment totally recover or make significant strides. Unfortunately, the rest may remain chronic sufferers or die.
The National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders is a great resource for help and information regarding these eating disorders. They are free and have a hotline if anyone needs help.

Individuals with eating disorders are obsessed with food, body image and weight loss. Eating disorders are more prominent in women, but male eating disorders are more common than many think. It may be harder for men and people of color to acknowledge or get help, because eating disorders are often seen as a “white woman’s” issue. Eating disorders are much easier to prevent than cure, and parents are in the best position to do that work. People with eating disorders are struggling to cover up problems in other areas of their lives. Eating disorder are real and serious illnesses that can sometimes be life-threatening.

Anorexia is defined as “loss of appetite” though this isn’t necessarily true. Those with anorexia need to realise they have a serious problem. Identifying anorexia symptoms in yourself or others is much easier to detect compared to symptoms for other eating disorders. Girls and women are 10 times more likely than boys and men to suffer from anorexia or bulimia. Women with anorexia nervosa are at a increased risk for bone fractures and can develop osteoporosis at a younger age than women without eating disorders. Anorexia nervosa is a condition in which the sufferer has a fear of weight gain and becoming “fat”. If you think you or someone you know may have anorexia or some type of eating disorder, contact your healthcare provider to refer you to someone who treats eating disorders. Anorexia nervosa, if left untreated, may lead to severe malnutrition and medical emergencies that require hospitalization. Fortunately, these are treatable disorders, particularly if they are identified early.

Bulimia nervosa, or simply bulimia, is an eating disorder. It involves recurrent episodes of binge-eating. Many people have both symptoms of anorexia and bulimia. Your genes don’t cause anorexia or bulimia. With bulimia, the signs would be someone who’s spending a lot of money on food, then hiding out to binge and purge. People with bulimia are often normal weight and are able to hide their illness from others for years. Risk factors for bulimia are similar to those of other eating disorders, such as anorexia nervosa.

With this focus on body image, it is no wonder that eating disorders are becoming more and more common. They are psychological problems in which the person has unusual eating habits. Having a eating disorder is a serious problem that should not be overlooked or underestimated. Although people seem to realize that eating disorders are a problem, many people tend to mislabel the cause behind them. People are often subject to depression, anxiety and low self-esteem. All of these eating disorders are serious health problems, perhaps life threatening and can benefit from professional treatment. If caught early, and the person is willing to accept the help that is available to them, the chances of recovery are greater. Though eating disorders are a complex problem with several underlying causes, the major cause is dieting.

Two very prominent instances come to mind. One was Simon Peter.
When Simon first encountered Jesus, on the shores of Lake Galilee, he was a struggling fisherman. When the Lord asked him to cast his nets in deeper waters for a catch, the “reed” in him had his doubts, but he did as he was told. His obedience was rewarded with abundance of fish, and when called to be a “fisher of men”, Simon left everything behind to follow Jesus.

Later on, when Jesus came to the disciples, walking on water, Simon got out of the boat and started walking on the water to Jesus. But the strong wind and choppy sea brought out the “reed” in him, and his loss of faith resulted in him sinking into the water.
But, when Jesus asked his disciples, “Who do people say the Son of Man is?” it was Simon who answered, “You are the Messiah, the Son of the living God.” Jesus’ response was, “… so I tell you, Peter: you are a rock, and on this rock foundation I will build my church …” (Mt 16: 13 - 18)

Yet, down the road, Peter the rock, would be rebuked by Jesus and even called Satan, because the human “reed” in him again came to the fore, although it was only to protect Jesus from harm.
The “reed” in Simon was finally broken when, as Jesus had predicted, he denied the Lord, not once, but three times! The bitter tears of Peter washed away the past and shaped him into the rock he became, as the first Shepherd to whom Jesus entrusted his “sheep”.

Another instance of a man’s journey from “reed” to “rock” was of Moses. This great man of God was born at a time when the king of Egypt had decreed that every new-born Hebrew boy was to be drowned in the river Nile.
His mother saved him by placing him in a basket made of reeds. The king’s daughter found the basket floating at the edge of the river and, eventually, adopted Moses.

A grown-up Moses was appalled to see his people mistreated by the Egyptians and ended up murdering one of them. Forced to flee, he settled in Midian, married the priest Jethro’s daughter, and became a shepherd of his father-in-law’s sheep.
When the Lord appeared to him in the burning bush and asked him to go to the Egyptian king to seek the release of the Israelites in Egypt, the “reed” in him did not have the confidence to accomplish this mission.

The humble man paraded out his numerous negatives to show the Lord that he was not up to the task, but when the Lord used his “stick” to give him a solid back-bone, he went ahead boldly to do the Lord’s bidding.
“There has never been a prophet in Israel like Moses; the LORD spoke with him face to face. No other prophet has ever done miracles and wonders like those that the LORD sent Moses to perform against the king of Egypt, his officials, and the entire country. No other prophet has been able to do the great and terrifying things that Moses did in the sight of all Israel.” (Deut 34: 10 - 12)

So, how do men of “reed” become men of “rock”? Simply by accepting the Lord’s plan for us. When we say “Here I am” to the Lord, he brings all his power, through the Holy Spirit, to enable us to accomplish the task he has set for us.

Nevertheless there are also actions that sufferers of a depression can take to help themselves feel better. For instance:
1. Avoid alcohol: Alcohol can make a depression much worse and it interferes with the action of many anti depressants.
2. Do not take (illegal) drugs: These can lead to addictions and substance abuse and in many cases will not solve the problems you have. More likely they will just ad to your problems.
3. Do activities you enjoy: It is very important for you to keep undertaking the activities you used to enjoy. Walking, shopping, going to a movie. Take a trusted friend along. Even small pleasurable activities will ad up.
4. Exercise: Keep your body healthy with regular exercise. Whatever you feel like. You can go to a gym, you can do some walking each day or cycling. You will notice that exercising will also have a positive influence on your mental health and overall feeling of wellbeing.
5. Set realistic goals. You should plan ahead. But your planning should not lead to (more) disappointment. So if you plan activities and goals, be sure to make them realistic. They should be specific, measurable, attainable, realistic and tangible. Realizing you goal will certainly prove to be a mood enhancing factor in your life
6. Keep a journal: Keep a diary of your life. Take note of the good and the bad that happens. Take a note of your thoughts. This will enable you to think things over by taking some necessary distance. Writing things down sets the events in perspective. Is your life really that bad? Are there certain patterns you notice in your diary? Is there room for improvement?

Recognize early signs: It is very important for you to notice the early signs of depression. Early intervention is always a good thing. Start working on your problems when they are still small. So that treatment can start before your condition worsens or the symptoms become more severe. This will decrease your chances on further relapse in the future.

Remember although nobody is immune for depression it is very important to avoid the possible causes of depression and reducing the risk of developing a depression.

Quite apart from the undoubted physical benefits of massage therapy, much of the benefit is psychological; it has to do with the feel-good factor of intimate contact with another human being.
One of the ultimate forms of stress relief is a full body massage. Most people who experience a full body massage cannot stop telling people how amazing they felt afterwards. The first thing that someone usually does after experiencing his or her first full body massage is book another full body massage! A common response from people who’ve experienced a full body massage is that for the first time in their lives they feel they’ve managed to attain total relaxation.

In addition to full body massage, massage can be used on specific, individual parts of the body. One of the main individual body parts that is subject to a specialist form of massage is the foot. Foot massage is generally referred to as reflexology.
Massage therapy was on the fringes of conventional medicine for a long time, but modern medical experts generally accept the efficacy of massage. In fact, more than 70% of American hospitals now offer massage therapy as a part of their treatments.

What do hospitals use massage therapy for? They use it in the treatment of chronic pain symptoms, in cancer cases, pregnancy, infant care, joint and muscle mobility, stress management and many other symptoms and disorders.
New research suggests that massage therapy helps to boost the immune system, lower blood pressure and manage pain.
Massage therapy can be used to aid people who are receiving drug and alcohol withdrawal treatment. Another great benefit of massage therapy is that it can be used in conjunction with other therapies to strengthen their effects - e.g. aromatherapy, reflexology, acupressure and reiki.

It is good to see massage therapy crossing over from the alternative medicine field to the mainstream because this means that many more people are able to experience the benefits of this very versatile form of treatment and therapy.

The autistic person may appear aloof and indifferent to those around them. They may be sociable with one person, but unable to function in a group. Communication difficulties include no understanding or use of verbal or non-verbal communication. A common characteristic is an unwillingness to look people in the eye. Impairment of imagination may lead to limited, repetitive play, copying others or problems discerning between fact and fantasy. A diagnosis of autism must address all three of these areas and there is a whole range (hence the term autistic spectrum) of factors and behaviors that can only be evaluated by a number of tests and observations undertaken by medical professionals in different fields including pediatricians and child psychologists.

Frequently occurring features of an autistic person include a state of anxiety, the need for structure and planning, social misunderstandings and difficulty making choices. Autistic children often have a literal understanding of what is said. An underachieving autistic child told by a teacher to pull his socks up is likely to do just that and unwittingly incur the wrath of the adult.

Sensory overload is another feature that often manifests in autism. For example the flickering of a fluorescent light that goes unnoticed by most may be an annoyance to an autistic child. The child may be sensitive to noises, the feel of some materials against their skin, or the amount of pressure placed on areas of their body. These sensory overloads mean the child can be highly distractible or stressed and can lead to behaviors like covering their ears, screaming, spinning or rocking, hiding under a table, or even self-injury.

There are many strategies for helping an autistic child but the best ones are based on understanding the individual. Be aware of the common causes and triggers for their stress and try to reduce them or divert the child from them. There should be opportunities for the child to take a time out from stressful situations. Autistic children often have some level of obsession about a topic. It might be a type of toy, or a subject like geography or dinosaurs. Use this focus to distract and calm the child when they become stressed.

Yet they have exactly what they wished for.
Your mind is like a powerful computer. Much more powerful than anything man made that exists today. The purpose of your mind is to provide the outcome that is programmed into it, by you. It will always give you the programmed result, that is a law of nature.

And this is where the trouble starts.
Most of us have no idea how to effectively program this computer, and those that do, program it with ineffective programs more often than not.

Do you realize that the only difference between your success and that of say a Donald Trump or a Bill Gates, is the way that they think.
Whether they did it consciously or not, their thought patterns follow a set of guidelines that led them to the success that they enjoy. These patterns are burnt into their minds, and they will not alter them for anything. It is who they are. Like them or not, they are effective in their chosen fields.

So what does this have to do with you, and more importantly, can you use this knowledge for your own good.

Well the short answer is Yes.

You can use this knowledge, and are actually doing so every single day.

Your life is exactly as your mind thinks and reacts to circumstances on a continuous basis right now. So the good news is that you are already doing it, you cannot help yourself, it is human nature.
The bad news is that the thought patterns you have running in your mind, are not giving you the results you consciously want. They are giving you the results that you have programmed into your mind, mostly subconsciously.

This is why goal setting can be so important. With a clear goal in mind, your thought processes will at least be aligned in some direction most of the time. This can and does make a huge difference to your results.

Lets use the computer program analogy once more.
A computer will process information based on a specific set of rules and criteria. That is basically what a computer software program does. If you have a program that says if A happens, always do B, you get a predetermined predictable result. You know that a certain input will give you a specific output.

With our minds, not having a goal is like saying, if A happens, do B , or C or D or whatever strikes your fancy. The result is confusion and wasted energy. Spinning around without going anywhere.

Now life presents us with A today, B tomorrow, an C,D,A the next day. If you however have a set of actions ready for whenever A happens (by having a set goal) you automatically move toward your desired outcome every time A occurs. You might not have moved far, but you did move a small amount toward your goal, every time A happens.

At least you are moving in a certain direction, that you have predetermined, by simply deciding what you actually want, and then setting a goal to get there.
Goal setting is a huge topic, and not quite as simple as described,. It is however very worthwhile, and just may make the difference between contentment and a life of frustration.

So find out what you want, then work towards that goal.

And surely, the easiest form of prayer is “Thank You.”

The traffic light changes to green as we approach a busy intersection — “Thank You!”

A parking spot appears at the grocery store’s front door — “Thank you!”

The doctor announces that the tests were negative — “Thank you!”

How many times do we mutter “Thank You” each day, mindlessly and without conviction? What would happen if we put emotion, feeling and structure behind those little “spiritual shout-outs?”

It appears that the answer can now be measured and validated by scientific research. The benefits of gratitude are empirical according to two university happiness researchers in a 2004 report. In the subsequent book, “The Psychology of Gratitude” Robert A. Emmons and Michael E. McCullough, call gratitude “the forgotten factor in happiness research.”

Together, the two co-researchers from University of California, Davis and University of Miami, have discovered significant benefits of maintaining an “attitude of gratitude” such as:
• Those who kept gratitude journals on a weekly basis exercised more regularly, reported fewer physical symptoms, felt better about their lives as a whole, and were more optimistic about the upcoming week.
• Participants who kept gratitude lists were more likely to have made progress toward important personal goals.
• A daily gratitude intervention (self-guided exercises) with you young adults resulted in higher reported levels of the positive states of alertness, enthusiasm, determination, attentiveness and energy.
• Participants in the daily gratitude condition were more likely to report having helped someone with a personal problem.
• Grateful people are more likely to acknowledge a belief in the interconnectedness of all life and a commitment to and responsibility to others.
• Grateful individuals place less importance on material goods, and are more likely to share their possessions with others.
• Grateful people report higher levels of positive emotions, life satisfaction, vitality, optimism and lower levels of depression and stress.

But the key benefit of gratitude is this: Gratitude dissolves fear.

That’s right. It’s impossible to be full of fear if you’re truly grateful — you know the feeling, so grateful that your eyes well up with tears. That kind of gratitude can be cultivated. For every moment of fear, we can create a response of gratitude.

“Yes, but…”

Don’t go there. Sure, you’ve got problems. Yes, your situation is different and you’re unique. But fear can be foiled. Read this example of a gratitude prayer. Pay close attention to the circumstances of its discovery…

“Lord, remember not only the men of good will, but also those of ill will. But do not remember all of the suffering they have inflicted upon us. Remember rather the fruits we have brought, thanks to this suffering: our comradeship, our loyalty, our humility, the courage, the generosity, the greatness of heart that has grown out of this. And when they come to judgment, let all the fruits we have bourne be their forgiveness.”

This prayer of gratitude was found on a scrap of paper in a rancid dormitory at the liberation of Ravensbruck Concentration Camp in Germany at the end of World War II.

Never did a more fearful, nor hopeless, situation exist. Yet, there is gratitude conquering fear. Now, your excuses are…