Women Who Eat Chocolate

New software, late evenings, and England

2012-01-27T21:25:00.002-05:00

This week has been a different one.

Work, for me at least, has given me a breather. We are in our so-called "downtime" which just means the phones are not crazy off the hook. Everyone around me, though, has gone nuts with our new software installation. Our days at the office involve answering phones and taking orders. My main directive at the office is to answer phones, and direct customers to their account reps. I check routes, and make sure all the drivers have their papers in order. This new software gets rid of the old order-taking system and installs a new one. Needless to say, it's going to be a big change. I can't say, though, that I'm excited to go in on Monday when it actually goes live. I haven't learned the new system thoroughly enough to be comfortable with it. As tech savvy as I am, I loved the old system - but know that the old must fall away sometimes to make way for the new.

Life will move on whether I'm ready or not - new software here we come. I've felt slightly out of the loop because I haven't really been trained to use it. Here's hoping I pick it up quickly.

George has been working evenings this week painting at Kline's Service Center. It's a tight squeeze in there, so he agreed to work in the evenings. He's been working til nearly midnight some nights, and is hard at work right now on a Friday night. He's going in tomorrow also. He's a pusher, and gets the job done. It's January and he's working steadily - thank you Jesus.

It's been weird without him here in the evenings. I have all sorts of time to catch up on things, and all I want to do is sit here and browse, read a book, or catch up on TV. When he walks in the door I'm ready for bed! We've been sitting up drinking coffee while he gobbles up any food we have laying around. It's hard for him to wake up in the mornings - but work is work and you just adjust.

Our lives are the same. Sailing smoothly along, not veering too much off course. I've been enjoying writing my new column immensely. It seems I've stored up all sorts of thrifty tips over the years and they are all coming out of my brain at top speed. This is good. It gets me writing more than I ever have at one time and is pushing me. I need to be pushed, because I want my writing out there. This may give me the confidence I need to try to get more articles published in other publications. That is my goal.

Realistically, I should set aside a time once a week to write a new article and send it around. I need to network it baby. N.e.t.w.o.r.k.

I'm signing off here so I can settle in for some Netflix viewing. I decided it's time to watch Downton Abby - which is straight off of PBS Masterpiece Classics. I've heard so much about it and that it's a hoot to watch. I have it ready to play and on pause as I type. I guess all this time that George is away I should do the things I never do. If that means watch PBS, then heck yes.

I'm off to jolly old England.....

Wordless Chocolate Wednesday

2012-01-25T15:19:00.003-05:00

You can go to Pinterest here to find links and recipes. They are part of my decadent dessert pin board.

Friday style and wishes

2012-01-20T11:12:00.001-05:00

Poetic Wednesday

2012-01-18T10:11:00.001-05:00

I found this poem from Thomas Merton on Rachel Held Evans blog. She is a refreshing slap in the face at times, and I have found her blog to be quite delightful. She has altered this poem to the feminine - I think it's awesome.

There must be a time of day when the woman who makes plans forgets her plans and acts as if she had no plans at all.

There must be a time of day when the woman who has to speak falls very silent and her mind forms no more propositions, and she asks herself: Did they have a meaning?

There must be a time when the woman of prayer goes to pray as if it were the first time in her life she has ever prayed. When the woman of resolutions puts her resolutions aside as if they had all been broken, and she learns a different wisdom.

Distinguishing the sun from the moon, the stars from the darkness the sea from the dry land, and the night sky from the shoulder of a hill.

Getting that monster out.

2012-01-12T11:26:00.000-05:00

Slightly pensive today. Watch out.

I wish at times I could hold in my feelings. I know I seem happy and smiling most of the time - and I am. But as I've gotten older, I realized that I won't hold things in anymore. If there is an injustice, I need to say something about it or somehow get my viewpoint in.

That's not always a good thing. I will probably do it anyway.

People don't always want to hear everyone's viewpoint. I'm no different. If someone tries to tell me that I'm doing something wrong, I probably won't listen. I really should sometimes. Maybe I'm too abrasive? Maybe I'm too one-sided? I like to think that criticism, in its finest form, is a way to better oneself. I believe that firmly. It still doesn't mean I won't bristle when I hear it! We all do.

Working in an office, I've learned to take constructive criticism way better than I used to. When I realize the person isn't doing it to attack me, then it makes it all better. It's been a hard learning process. Life is a hard learning process. One with which I struggle every day.

Right now, it's my day off. For the love of Pete, I'm so excited to be here - alone in my house - for the first time in over a month! Days home alone, with no sound to distract me, are like a mini vacation to me. My husband and kids are the world to me, but some days I just don't want to hear anyone.

That day is today.

I think I've been snippy lately. I can feel it. Everyone is getting on my last nerve and I'm not sure why. Do I need to shut off the internet connection, which is so readily at my fingertips with this new laptop? Maybe I do. I think it's become a distraction, this easily bridged push of a button to the world wide web.

Yet, so many ideas have been brewing - some that are coming to fruition - that I need to work on on the computer. It's a doorway to what I can accomplish. I guess I need strict working hours and defined browsing hours. I need discipline in this area.

I've gained much discipline in the getting healthy area. I'm on a roll since October 29th and I'm not getting off. I am pushing and striving to get through. As my wise sister once said, "It's not a race." I'm hanging on to that when that brownie is staring me in the face. Thing is, I can have it if I want, it's just a matter of rearranging the other things I eat. I'm loving this new way of life.

I love succeeding.

But if I'm succeeding at one thing and failing at another that what am I doing wrong? Some days I want to get off the world and let it spin without me. If my husband and kids feel I'm never here for them then what can I change? What can I do differently? I found this blog posted on one of the blogs I follow:

http://simplemom.net/beware-of-these-marriage-killers/

It's a great read and worthy of your time. If I'm spending my time unwisely, I need to change it. But I also don't want people being greedy and wanting me there at all times just because. I need to DO and FEEL and ACCOMPLISH the things I have in a mental list. Things that have been biting at my ankles. For so long I've helped others accomplish their dreams. Mine are on the backburner - indefinitely bubbling away until the pan turns dry.

I feel like the dry pan right now.

I read this series on time management and discipline:http://moneysavingmom.com/time-management-101-series Good Stuff.

I'm happy. I love where I am. I LOVE LOVE LOVE writing my column and blog. I know I'm in the right area - it's where I'm supposed to be. What then, is this crazy thing in the back of my neck making it stiffen and grow tense?

I want what's mine, but I'm afraid to succeed. I'm afraid to start. I'm satisfied where I am and maybe that's the problem. Maybe I just stay rooted in safety because it's easier. This post has turned into a monster that I never meant to create.

Alone time can do that to you. It can bring out what's been stirring all along. Maybe it's time to get this monster out so I can finally succeed.

Blog Post Love

2012-01-11T10:33:00.000-05:00

I found this lovely post from a fellow blogger that I just had to share. Check out her blog at Hannah, just breath... The imagery is so beautiful that I fell in love with her style of writing. Take a gander...

I just want to splash through puddles all day long.

My father used to make my sisters and me breakfast every morning before school. It was his time with us, while my mother stayed burrowed beneath the covers in the quiet darkness of their bedroom. He’d whip together pancakes or eggs and bacon, sometimes cinnamon buns, sometimes waffles or oatmeal. Always a tall glass of orange juice, oftentimes a plate of grapes or sliced bananas, and, once a year, homemade doughnuts.

We’d stumble downstairs one by one and fall into our seats at the table, red-eyed and rumbling to get out the door to school, and my father, God love him, would quickly place steaming plates or bowls before us and give the weather forecast and ask questions about the day ahead.

What I remember most from those mornings, though, is the songs he played. John Denver, Juice Newton, Leonard Cohen, Bob Dylan, perhaps some Mozart or Bach. This music alerted me to the day’s arrival long before the rich smell of coffee or the salty sting of bacon frying in the cast iron skillet on the stove. It was always the music that woke me, fully.

I thought of those long-ago days, and of my father, and of Stoneyway when I was a child, as I sped into work this morning. Juice Newton’s “Angel of the Morning” shuffled its way onto my stereo, and suddenly, I was back in my parent’s kitchen, sitting at the wobbly oak table, and insisting Juice was saying, “Just brush my teeth before you leave me, baby!”

My parents howled when I first asked them about this lyric—I didn’t understand it. Why would Juice need someone to brush her teeth for her?! Was she not able to do so herself?! How strange! Was Juice okay?!

Of course, eventually, I figured out that she was really saying, “Just touch my cheek before you leave me, baby!”

Ohh, the innocence of childhood.

It is raining again this morning. I always think of my father when it rains—he has never let a few showers stop him from gardening or working on the house or getting a little muddy. Usually, I love a good downpour, too, but after last night’s slog home following a thick, heavy, and difficult yoga class, and given the mountain of work I must complete before the weekend, and considering my scattered thoughts, today’s gray, wet skies aren’t helping much. Where are the blue skies hiding when you need them?

As I made my breakfast here at work, as I stood in the bright, sterile kitchen of my office, washing off grapes and brewing coffee, envisioning my to-do list, feeling the stress and anxiety growing, I thought of my father again. I missed him, suddenly and sharply. A surprise batch of hot tears bubbled up in my eyes.

In my distraction, in my clumsiness, I dropped a handful of grapes on the tiled floor.

And then, because it’s a watery, slick world out there today, and because my father appreciates imagination and silliness, and because I stood there feeling like a small and frightened child, in need of strong arms and reassurances, I toyed, for just a brief moment, with the idea of stomping all over those grapes, like a child splashing through rain puddles, muddying herself, if only for a moment, before being taken inside again, and rinsed clean.

Teary, but happy!

2012-01-05T10:49:00.000-05:00

My latest offering for my online blog at The Bargain Hunter left me a little teary. I'm a happy mom, though, my kids are the best. Read away and let me know what you think and maybe tell me some of your own stories?

It's her now.

What do you do when all the tinsel is packed away, the last Christmas ball is found under the couch, and the sparkly white lights on the porch shine their last hurrah?

What do you do when it’s time for your child to fly away into the vast gray skies back to their life in a faraway college town?

You hitch up your boots, hug them hard, and say goodbye.

Christmas is long gone, safely ensconced in the annals of time. New Years has come with all its glitzy once-in-a-lifetime craziness. We ushered it in and watched it leave, as we slept the day away and filled ourselves with pork and kraut. As the days grew closer to that inevitable trip to the airport, each hour and second that passed were denied in the only way we know how to do – ignore them.

Up until that last second when you know it’s time they start packing. Start putting everything in that little green suitcase that was deemed worthy of the trip, and find a place for the new treasures that were selected and offered as gifts.

This life, this trail of jet fuel that snakes its way ever southward, connecting us through not only the receiving, but the taking away - this is what has become our reality. We embrace it for the goodness that it has brought, yet want to shake it off for how far apart it makes us.

You left a little girl, searching for that life that disconnected you from us. Anything to get away from this small town that grew you, yet stifled you. This is not a negative thing. Every child needs to break the umbilical cord that stretches, unseen and unwanted, from parent to child. That cutting is what makes them grow. Still attached, it makes them stay children. Oddly bound, unable to shoot in the direction they must go.

The rending of my heart, though, never quite heals.

Technology has afforded me the luxury of being in touch with you at all times.

Facebook, text, Skype, and even Words with Friends – all let me enter your world without invading it. You call me as you’re biking to work or school, while babysitting, or before a big test. I wait for these connections, and without fail, every day they occur.

I don’t look at it as “she needs her mama” – I look at it that she’s deemed me worthy or her day. Her life. The information she shares with me is proffered – like an invitation to the big dance. I take this and hold it close to my heart. I can no longer tell her what she can and cannot do. I can offer her my wisdom and my thoughts – but she will, in the end, decide what to do with them.

Her father’s heart has had a harder time letting go. He still wants to tuck her under his wing with his words the only ones she should hear – but too many others have now entered it. A dad never really wants to let his little girl go. He does, though, and talks of independence and clarity come about. Talks of what direction she should go, what she can do to surge ahead, what she can do to succeed. These are what satisfy him, as he once again sends her back. A sometimes not so gentle pushing, back and forth, for two minds that are so alike. She will succeed because he is behind her, and he is also in those brain cells that fire away with the need to forge ahead and make it. She will make it because for 21 years, he has pushed her to make it. That sharp-edged hardness comes out when she needs it.

Today, though, I head to work knowing that when my day is done, it’s time to head to that place where huge engines fire. Where my grown up daughter will buckle herself in, and head back to the place in the sun where she still has a little time to learn. Another year and a half of books and knowledge. Another period of time to grow.

I don’t know when I will see her again. The Christmas parting is the hardest. She won’t come home for Easter break, or even for spring break. The distance is too vast to just hop on a plane every other month. I will steadfastly hug her goodbye, and wipe her tears away – that just recently started appearing when she leaves. I will wait for the text that tells me she’s on the plane, that tells me she’s made it to her connection, that tells me she’s made it home, and that finally tells me she’s made it to her apartment.

Only then will I shed a tear. And I will just as quickly wipe it away, for her life is good. Full of good things yet to discover, places to go, places to explore. I want it all for her, and for that, I would never wish her here. This world is hers. It’s her now.

Encouragement For The Week

2012-01-03T11:12:00.000-05:00

Encouragement For The Week

From a beautiful blog called Clover Lane...

Let's go 2012

2011-12-31T13:30:00.002-05:00

Jon Acuff and Stuff Christians Like

2011-12-28T11:19:00.005-05:00

This article is taken from the Stuff Christians Like website by Jon Acuff. He makes me laugh so hard sometimes and teaches us Christians not to take ourselves so seriously. Read on!

#4 in 2011: “Wait, what???” Bible verses.

Sometimes, if I am reading the Bible too quickly, I have a Wile E. Coyote moment. Often when chasing the Road Runner, Wile E. would get so focused on what he was doing that he would run 15 feet off a cliff without realizing it. Then he would pause in mid air, look at the camera, then at his feet and plummet.

I feel that way sometimes while reading the Bible. I’ll get in a rhythm and start making progress. I’ll be cruising through Genesis and Exodus, moving along at a good clip, flying by the material, until out of nowhere I’ll pause, mid thought and say, “Wait, what???”

I’ll go back a few verses and realize that I breezed past something outrageous that at first glance I took as commonplace. Recognizing my error I’ll push pause, reread the verse and then fall off a theological cliff much like Wile E.

That’s exactly what happened to me last Monday. I was reading Exodus 4 when God gives Moses his marching orders. Here is what verse 21 – 23 says:
The Lord said to Moses, “When you return to Egypt, see that you perform before Pharaoh all the wonders I have given you the power to do. But I will harden his heart so that he will not let the people go. Then say to Pharaoh, ‘This is what the Lord says: Israel is my firstborn son, and I told you, “Let my son go, so he may worship me.” But you refused to let him go; so I will kill your firstborn son.’”

God is giving Moses instructions. Dire, serious instructions, but thus far I am as pastors love to say, “tracking with him.” I get what is happening, having discussed the Passover story and the plight of the Israelites a lot growing up. So, at Wile E. Coyote speed I continue to the next verse:

“At a lodging place on the way, the Lord met Moses and was about to kill him.”

Wait, what??? In one verse, God is telling Moses what to do, and in the next verse he’s about to kill him. Not, “thinking about killing him,” but “about to,” as in “this is on like Donkey Kong.”

I might be the only one who has had a “Wait, What???” Bible verse moment, but if you ever experience one, there are three things you should know:

1. Slow your flow.It’s not a race. If you catch yourself running over cliffs regularly, chances are you’re speed reading the Bible. Slow down Vin Diesel. No need to get fast and/or furious through Exodus.

2. Version it out.When I run off a cliff, I immediately check other versions of the Bible. NIV, ESV, KJV, ETC. My coworker recently told me he read that someone had “vanished right before their eyes.” His version made it sound like Phillip had Scott Bakula’d right out of there. We checked multiple versions to figure out the text.

3. Enjoy the pause.You can read the Bible 1 million times and pick up 1 millions different things. That’s the beauty of the word of God. He’s going to highlight and call out new things each time you crack it open. Don’t think a “Wait, What????” verse is a bad thing. It might be exactly what you need to read.

Has this ever happened to you? Have you ever read the Bible and had a “Wait, What???” moment?

What verse gives you pause?

Also, give this one read - it's awesome! ...and also makes us feel powerful as women....haha.

The Proverbs 31 Wife

That Hush

2011-12-23T21:25:00.001-05:00

Below is my newest Bargain Hunter blog. In thinking about what to blog about this week, I thought about how much I enjoy the time between celebrations. When our Christmas Eve family fest is over and it's not yet Christmas morning. Read and enjoy...

That Hush

How do you describe the hush that descends upon the world Christmas Eve?

Shoppers still scurry out of stores clutching last minute packages, harried brows knitted in anxious urgency. Candies and cookies may still be sitting on waxed paper, waiting to be scooped onto a platter and cozied up to the other pecan tassies and Mexican wedding cakes. Preparations have been in full swing for weeks for the culmination of this night.

Have you ever gone outside on this night, though, and stared up at the sky in wonder? A “midnight clear” isn’t even enough to describe it. The world hovers in expectation of something, and some still don’t know what it is they are waiting for.

I remember a Christmas Eve we came home to gather presents and clothes to sleep over at my mom and dad’s house. It was quite awhile ago when the kids were small. George and I pulled in and got out of the car, but were stopped still in our tracks. The moon was perfectly bright and the frosty air hung light and pure. It was very cold, but the stark beauty and stillness – perfect stillness – were astounding to experience. I simply stood and embraced the cold and hush of night.

Even today, with the hustle and bustle that Christmas has become, and always will be, we still are waiting. A pause is necessary, to feel and reflect on what Christmas is. For me, it’s that moment between our extended family celebration on Christmas Eve, and the time we come home and midnight hovers near. It’s a precarious balance, a hovering of coming to the top of a very high precipice.

We take this time to don our Christmas pajamas, while the kids throw all their blankets on the floor in front of the tree. We make a last cup of coffee and sit in the living room with only the tree’s glow as a reflection. No matter how old they are, they still must sleep by the tree. We have no hearth with a fire, or even a chimney to hang our stockings, but as night falls, their bodies shudder and relax into heavy slumber - tucked together in sibling closeness to await yet another Christmas day.

As we sit in our living room waiting for Christmas to arrive, usually around 1 a.m. George calls his family in Mexico who are ushering Christmas in as well. They are an hour behind us, so we celebrate with them as we talk quietly into the night. With a kiss and a salute, Christmas greetings are sent and received.

I know Christmas day will arrive with all its splendor and gift-giving. We will read the Christmas story and revel in what we know it really means. But for me, that time when Christmas is close to descending upon the world, and that hush that falls quickly and breathtakingly over all – that’s when I feel Christmas. I feel it, in the silent lucidity that is a Christmas Eve night. And I thank the One who brought this perfect reassuring hush.

My Christmas Stuff

2011-12-10T17:29:00.000-05:00

Christmas, you've snuck up on me once again.

I knew you were coming, but once again p.r.o.c.r.a.s.t.i.n.a.t.i.o.n reigns supreme in my world. ...and I love it. To me, there's nothing like Christmas shopping and discovering wonders, deals, and snapping items up happily on a whim.

Lights, one by one, have been strung on my porch and throughout my home. The manger scene is twinkling on top of the TV cabinet where it's held court for as many years as we've lived here. Chipped camel and all.

My decorations aren't spectacular, things are chipped and cracked. But they are mine. Loved and worn to a perfection that lives in my heart. The old Christmas balls are the only things my kids will put on the tree. Red, gold, green and speckled with age. Every year they are dragged out and the kids gently hang them on.

I don't aim to compete, or feel inferior when it comes to decorating for Christmas. I just know I need to feel it in my heart.

High time?

2011-11-18T13:37:00.000-05:00

What do you think?

I think it's high time.

A new favorite blog

2011-11-15T06:59:00.001-05:00

The following article is from the blog called Mom's Plans. I recently started following her and her take on life/work/money is so exciting and refreshing. She challenges me to be more than I think I can be. Take the time to read this great article - you won't be disappointed.

How Do You Behave During Financial Booms?

by MELISSA on NOVEMBER 15, 2011

Recently, when researching my staff writing post about the current job boom in North Dakota, I ran across an interesting article, “I Doubled My Salary in North Dakota.” The article is about a man who had formerly worked in a factory in Nebraska, but lost his job thanks to the recession. He took the leap of faith and moved to North Dakota and took a job in the oil fields. He is not afraid to work hard and takes advantage of all of the overtime available. He averages “on the low end. . . $92,000 a year, and [on the] high end. . . $130,000.” Because I like good rags to riches stories, I was excited for him. By working hard now, he has the potential to change his life forever. He also sees the significance of what he is making, stating, “Where I’m from, the only people who make that kind of money are doctors or lawyers. And I don’t have a degree. . .” His plan is simply “to make the most amount of money possible in the shortest amount of time possible.”

No one knows how long the oil boom will last, so his plan is a smart one. Work hard now while the opportunity is available. Before I could finish the article, my mind was already wandering with what he could do with that kind of salary for five or ten years—max out his retirement plan, start a college fund for his daughter, buy a house with a substantial down payment. . .His possibilities are really endless if he keeps his income low. So, you could imagine my disappointment when I read on a bit. He proudly states, “I’m able to buy everything my daughter has ever wanted — toys, clothes.” I already sense where this is going. Like one who can’t turn away from a car wreck, I read on. He further states, “Before, I had a Jeep Wrangler and my wife had a Jeep Wrangler. So I was able to buy a brand new Mercedes, and my wife a Mercedes.” Now I see that his future probably won’t be changed. He may well likely be one of those people who win a multi-million dollar lottery and in a few years are bankrupt. I hope not, but I have concerns for him.

Even more surprising, the airwaves and Internet have been abuzz with the story of Carl Richards, a financial planner who moved to Las Vegas right before the housing collapse, bought a house that was more than he could comfortably afford, repeatedly borrowed against the house as the equity grew, and then ultimately ended up $200,000 upside down in his mortgage. He and his wife stopped paying their mortgage and went through a short sale. When interviewed on NPR and questioned why he, a financial planner, could get into such a financial mess, he explains:

“The value of the house is growing dramatically, my income’s growing dramatically and we all have this tendency to base the future on a relatively recent past. Right? So we project that into the future. And when you project that into the future, we had no problems.

And then the next mistake we made was not realizing that things change.”

What a powerful explanation. He projected his success today into the future, and when he did that, he had no problems. He didn’t make a contingency plan; he didn’t think things would change, but they did, rapidly. This is human nature; to assume things will continue to go smoothly, which explains in part why it was so easy for the man who moved to North Dakota to buy two Mercedes. Even though he doesn’t know when the oil boom will end, he anticipates living like this for quite a long while, even though he could be injured tomorrow, and the money would stop flowing in.

I have recently had the pleasure of watching Crystal from Budgeting in the Fun Stuff’s explosive financial growth. This summer, she left a cubicle job where she was making $35,000 a year to work for herself as a blogger, writer, and advertising liaison. While she was successful from the beginning and making at least as much being self-employed as she made at her old job, it is only in the last few months as her advertising business has taken off that her income has skyrocketed. She is now averaging well over $10,000 a month in earnings, and she has been talking about her husband leaving his job as a school librarian to help her run her advertising business.

That fearful part of myself read the latest developments with some trepidation. After all, blogging and advertising are very lucrative for her now, but they may not always be that way. The blogging world is still very young; who knows how things will change in three years or five years. Having her husband quit is quite a leap of faith.

Yet, unlike the others in this post, she is carefully laying the foundation for an even more secure future. She is on track to pay off her house by the end of 2012, or at the latest, 2013. She is not even 30 yet, and her house will be paid off. She is fully funding her retirement, and she also has a large emergency fund. While it would be easy (and natural, as Richards explains) to spend freely during this time in her life, she is choosing not to. Sure, she may spend a little more for a nice dinner out, and she might buy sheets that are more expensive than most might buy, but she is not being reckless.

If her husband does quit, I believe they will be just fine. If they continue to plan as well financially as they have been, they may both be able to retire by the time they are forty or younger. And if that income stream dries up? They will have a paid for house to live in, maxed out retirement funds and a hefty emergency fund. In short, unlike our other two examples, they will be in a much better position than they were before her radical income jump.

When we find ourselves in a good financial position, we like to believe that our finances will be like this forever. However, the nature of life is cyclical. There are bound to be down times; while it is tempting to not plan as carefully for the future when things are good, it is ultimately in each of our best interests to do so. Who would you rather model your financial behavior after? Carl Richards or Crystal?

Thoughts for the future....

2011-11-11T20:30:00.001-05:00

A Bookish Wordless Wednesday

2011-10-26T10:55:00.001-04:00

Wordless Wednesday

2011-10-19T21:04:00.002-04:00

2011-10-12T06:56:00.002-04:00

I love October, especially for the fact that it's my birthday month. Although I'm getting slightly older, it still holds all it's mystique for me. I've described just how how I feel about it in my newest Bargain Hunter blog. Check it out here.

My Selena Part II

2011-10-01T09:57:00.000-04:00

Life throws stuff at you. Hard.

I'm sitting at a window on the 3rd floor of The Cleveland Clinic main campus waiting for my girl to get discharged. We went in on Thursday of last week to see if we could get the infection on her incision site taken care of. They went in surgically, and she went under. We'd been unsure if she would have a total "surgical" procedure, but it sure was -- with all the bells and whistles.

Selena has worked so hard. She's been dedicated in all her stretches, exercises, and rehab appointments. This infection was a hard knock on the head that, thankfully, was nothing more than superficial.

Her ACL/Knee area was not infected. In fact, when Dr. Saluan went in surgically on Thursday to clean it out, he went in with a camera to look at that area. It looked strong. In fact, so strong that they were suprised and very pleased at the progress it had made. I told them Selena was stubborn and wouldn't be held down.

For now, after two days stuck here in the hospital, with a cold generic cocktail of antibiotics dripping into her arm, we get to go home. Interestingly enough, the cultures they are trying to grow from her wound refuse to grow. They were strong enough to make her suture site infected to the point of grossness. But now that they want to see what kind of bacteria it was, it's being uncooperative.

I think it's Selena's body just being stubborn as usual.

I guess I don't really care what kind of germ it was. I'm just glad that it's gone. We should be leaving here in an hour or two. She already has plans to go to the soccer game tonight. It's senior night for her girls team, and she said she has to go. She has no restrictions, has no limitations, and wasn't really sick. The bacteria in her body couldn't even produce a fever.

That's one tough chick. That's my Selena.

A few drool-worthy foodie pics....

2011-09-28T14:37:00.002-04:00

Pumpkin cupcakes w/cream cheese frosting

Smores Cookie Bars

Red Velvet cookies w/cream cheese filling

Pizza in a cone!!

This is definitely not a Wordless Wednesday post. I'm thinking about food today even though I'm trying to eat less of it. Not sure that these luscious photos will help me. Sigh.

That poke in the back

2011-09-22T10:15:00.000-04:00

I'm filled with a longing this morning to dip inside myself and find what I know I am. I want to work from home. I want to write and create and be self sufficient within the framework of our family. I struggle with these truths, then turn the other way and know I love the check I receive from working outside the home. Money earned on other people's time is easy.

It's hard to earn a check from doing it yourself. Or rather, I should say it's harder to stay on track and get things done that need done to work from home. In the end though, it's what I long for. I want an office that I can go to and write, unobstructed, letting fragments of thoughts pop to the surface. Those fragments blossom and expand into stories and moments that I know I can catch and make into a story.

A different set of thoughts and opportunities have recently been thrown around and talked about. It's something that along with the writing, could make a decent cash flow.

I know I'm a whimsical dreamer who is able to buckle down and do work when necessary. What I need is a framework in which to put it in. I need boundaries and deadlines. I need a plan that will enable my brain to wrap itself around what needs to get done. When I stay on task, things get done.

I've been reading a series of articles from The Money Saving Mom, who is a blogger like me. She's been able to buckle down and make all sorts of residual income. She is an inspiration, even though she's much younger than me, and it makes me feel that I can accomplish what I want to do.

When my kids were small, I never thought I would have time to myself. Now that I do, I want to make that time productive. I want to produce and put out there what should have been done a long time ago. That aching, or some could call it nagging, that keeps poking me in the back is God telling me keep going. Keep. Going.

Wordless Wednesday

2011-09-14T09:45:00.002-04:00

Nothing to fear, baby, nothing to fear....

2011-09-07T12:11:00.002-04:00

Wordless Wednesday

2011-08-31T13:29:00.000-04:00

Snippets of my life

2011-08-31T07:02:00.003-04:00

Snapshot of my week:

~ work
~ fetch kids from various practices
~ attempt to make a supper that falls far below my standards
~ tell myself it's okay to have tuna melts, again, for supper
~ work
~ sit and listen to a girl who just wants to be back to normal
~ share tissues, tears, and good convo in the purple room with aforementioned girl
~ marvel at boy who has managed to sell $500 in Hiland soccer paraphernalia
~ get suckered into buying a more expensive Hiland soccer shirt by said boy
~ realize after handing over check he could sell dirt if he wanted to
~ work
~ drink coffee
~ buy half & half for the second time in 3 days
~ make mental note to cut down on the coffee
~ brew more coffee
~ watch girl hold back tears as she comes home and tells me the soccer bus left without her to their Triway game
~ try to figure out what happened and know only that they thought everyone was there and must have left early because she was there right at 5:15
~ pull weeds, trim out of control bushes that I don't remember planting
~ try to wrap my head around the fact that they never even texted to see if Selena was coming
~ remember: assuming makes an "ass" out of "u" and "me"
~ remind myself not to use "ass" on my blog anymore
~ tell myself it's finally Wednesday and I'm off until next Tuesday!
~ talk to child in Florida and make sure she makes it home safe after babysitting
~ remind myself she is almost 21 and it's safe to bike to her apartment at night
~ thank Jesus for my family
~ look at George and still get that fluttery feeling after 23 years
~ make him a cup of coffee that's extra sweet
~ remind myself that these days are precious and few and not lose them to anger
~ even though I love this new laptop to death, remind myself I still need to get lost in a book

"Tell me, what is it that you will do with this one wild and precious life?" ~ Mary Oliver