“There is something in every one of you that waits and listens for the sound of the genuine in yourself. It is the only true guide you will ever have. And if you cannot hear it, you will all of your life spend your days on the ends of strings that somebody else pulls.” ~Howard Thurman

PLEASING EVERYONE  

 Is it stressful? Well… not only is it stressful it’s also impossible and yet we often find ourselves in the habit of trying to do this very thing. Oddly enough the more we try to please everyone else the less happy we are, the further away from ourselves we grow and the more people we irritate. No one really wins!

Learn To Say “No”:

This week practice the power of simply saying no to those things you either don’t really have the time for or simply don’t want to do! You may lose a few people you thought were your friends but in the end you will find yourself surrounded by people who choose to be in your life because they love who you really are! This is a formula for a happy life.

Have a Fabulous Week!

“Once you accept the fact that you’re not perfect, then you develop some confidence.” ~Rosalynn Carter

Perfection 

One of the biggest causes of stress is an obsession for perfection. Of course we all want to do and be our best but obsessing about perfection, (an impossible objective) is a sure fire way to create stress in our lives. It stunts our creativity and damages our self esteem which makes it impossible for us to focus on our best self and what we can become!

Get Real With Yourself:

This week take a moment to get real with yourself about your expectations not only with yourself but other people in your life, events and experiences as well. As we discussed in the 6-part Conquering Change Audio Series, focusing on your “best self” will help you move from the past into the future and has the ability to change your life.

Remember there are changes you can control and changes that you can’t. Actively think about recognizing and letting go of those things that are out of your control. You will have a lot less stress and you will be far more happy, productive and successful.

Have a Fabulous Week!

“Never wrestle with a Pig, You just get dirty and the pig LIKES it!”

Author unknown – but I heard this from my very wise grandmother.

Stress is a problem for all of us and those small disagreements that pop into our lives throughout the day can create even more of it.  In addition to putting a damper on our day and attitude, prolonged stress is really bad for our health! Here’s a tip to help you avoid these pesky incidents:

Stop Arguing

Arguing is a complete waste of time, no one ever really wins and it creates a mountain of unnecessary stress in our lives. Many times conflict and arguments occur when someone begins to feel they are not being respected or heard.  The next time you find yourself in a disagreement with someone or in a situation where a real resolution is not going to happen try this simple technique:

 Validate the Theory

With this method you agree with someone’s theory without agreeing that it applies to you! Here’s an example:

 Criticism: You’re buying more shoes? You already have enough shoes and you don’t even wear the ones you have. You should be saving your money for necessities and a rainy day. Someday you’re going to need it and you’ll wish you hadn’t spent it all on frivolous things. You should be saving your money.

 Response: You’re right; I do have a lot of shoes. If a rainy day comes it would be good to have some saved money.

 Using this method you have made them feel respected and heard by validating and acknowledging their theory without necessarily agreeing to it! Everyone is happy and you won’t waste your time and energy arguing about something you will probably not agree on anyway!

I felt I just had to share this…

Something very interesting happened to me last week and I thought would be perfect for a Food For Thought Video.

…I call it The Difference!

So now I ask you the question that I asked myself after this encounter…

What is the difference between these two gentlemen? How is it that one is so unconcerned and unaffected by his age while the other who is actualy 7 years his junior is so resigned to his age and convinced of its limitations?

What are your thoughts? Please share…I would love to hear from you.

To your dreams and possibilities,

Deborah

It’s finished! It’s Done! And you helped create it!  

Recently I held a workshop that many of you attended. I asked for your input and if you would share with me the key things you would find most helpful and what would be the easiest way for you to receive and absorb it. (After all, it’s only helpful if you actually get through it, right?) Soooo…

  Thank you to all who responded.

This new system is now available for you and I believe this is something that will truly enhance your life, support your progress and magnify your success!

To hear more about it please click the link below and it will take you to a short presentation…

 The 3 Step System to Revitalize Your Life, Goals and Relationships 

P.S. I have a NEW free gift for you!  Download your F.R.E.E. Special Report; Conquering Change, Take the Scary out of Transitions and receive my complimentary bi-monthly ezine by filling out the big green box at the top of the page!

Summer Doldrums

Here is a list of 25 fun and thoughtful things you can do to cheer someone else up (and yourself in the process):

1. Reverse gossip; share something nice about someone you know.
2. Send an older person a beautiful card, (did you know old folks tend to not get a lot of mail these days and they love it!).
3. Forfeit the war for the good parking space with a smile and a wave.
4. Pay a nice compliment to a stranger.
5. Spray your neighbor’s weeds while you’re out spraying your own!
6. Spend an afternoon chatting with people at a Senior Center! These folks are lovely and very friendly.
7. Grab a shopping cart from the grocery parking lot on your way into the store.
8. Ask to speak to a manager and comment on what a good job you think they are doing.
9. Offer to take care of someone’s children for an afternoon so  mom can have a few hours to herself.
10. Offer to water someone’s plants while they are on vacation.
11. Include someone you know in one of your regular activities.
12. Send or take a care package to someone who is sick.(books, magazines and their favorite goodies)
13. Offer to go to the grocery store for an older person in your neighborhood.
14. Let someone cut in during rush hour traffic.
15. Let someone with just a few items go ahead of you in the checkout line.
16. Share your special skill with someone who is interested in learning it.
17. Adopt a pet from a shelter that is going to be euthanized.
18. Wave to a child in a car.
19. Volunteer your time for a worthy cause.
20. Take dog bones, food and toys to a dog shelter.
21. While you’re at it, volunteer to walk a few dogs.
22. Smile and say hello to everyone you see today.
23. Take the time to pay someone a sincere compliment on their appearance or something they are doing.
24. Leave a surprise anonymous gift, flower or plant on someone’s doorstep or desk at the office.
25. Don’t just hemorrhage from laughter…alert your friend about the toilet paper strand that is stuck to her shoe as she prances out of the restroom at the restaurant.

Do you have any ideas on how to cheer someone up? We’d love to hear them… please share them in the comments section below! Stay cool, stay positive and enjoy your summer!

P.S. For more ideas on how to stay positive sign up for the F.R.E.E. 21 Day Attitude Adjustment Course and receive my complimentary bi-monthly ezine by filling out the big green box at the top of the page!

Saturday was my adorable granddaughter’s first ballet recital. Yup, a star is born. As I watched her confidently dancing in her beautiful blue costume my heart swelled with pride and joy. It seems like only yesterday it was my Lexi up there performing. Where did the time go?

Flowers? For me?

After the show as we filed out of the auditorium to wait with flowers for our little celebrity I ran into a couple of Alexis’s friends from high school, now with little stars of their own.  It seems like only yesterday these very women were only girls whispering and giggling on the phone together. Where did the time go?

If I close my eyes, become very still and think back I can almost remember the feeling of being on the stage myself; the smell of backstage, the camaraderie of my fellow performers and the bonding ceremony of putting on our stage makeup. Where did the time go?

As my mother and I crowed about how fabulous our Kenzi did the conversation drifted to a time in my mother’s past when she danced for her father with her dance class at the veteran’s hospital, just before her father died. She still remembers her mother sewing special velvet dots on her costume wings when the other girls only had ink spots on their wings. Where did the time go?

As I write this post I wonder if Alexis knows how special these times are and is she really taking the time to really savor the moment.  Not just the photo image but all the details of the glorious and juicy emotions of these mile markers.  There will come a time when she will say where did the time go?

Mile markers, are you counting them? Are you really taking them in? Are you making moments?

But more importantly…is there something more you want to do? Is there something you’ve been waiting to do “when the time is right?” Don’t wait, time flies, do it now. Five or ten years from now you will be looking at photographs and saying, where did the time go?

Time is our most precious commodity. Find your passion. Unearth those buried desires and dreams and start now. If you wait for the perfect time it will never come.

“Don’t do nothing because you can’t do everything.  Do something.  Anything.”

 Colleen Patrick-Goudreau

Role Models

I just had to share! I just downloaded this shot of Poppy, (the little one) and Shealy Ann, (the bigger one) after being “sprung” from the laundry room.

 
Even though they were not present for the session they both are glowing examples of how to pivot out of a negative spiral after an unplanned or unpleasant occurrence. Now I’m not sure if they were able to find anything positive about the temporary confinement but they both appeared to be catching up on some sleep when I opened the door. However I am positive they were able to completely  leave the incident in the past. After a quick treat both were happy and ready to play!

Also wanted to thank all of you who are attending the workshop and for all the wonderful emails! If you missed this workshop not to worry  new workshops are coming soon!

Until then, enjoy these insightful thoughts that were emailed to me some time ago that were so profound I kept them for sharing at an appropriate moment. If you’ve read them before they are worth a second read:

What dogs can teach us

If dogs were teachers, you would learn stuff like….

· When loved ones come home, always run to greet them.

· Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joyride.

· Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure ecstasy.

· When it’s in your best interest, practice obedience.

· Let others know when they’ve invaded your territory.

· Take naps.

· Stretch before rising.

· Run, romp, and play daily.

· Thrive on attention and let people touch you.

· Avoid biting when a simple growl will do.

· On warm days, stop to lie on your back on the grass.

· On hot days, drink lots of water and lie under a shady tree.

· When you’re happy, dance around & wag your entire body.

· No matter how often you’re scolded, don’t buy into the guilt thing and pout…run right back and make friends.

· Delight in the simple joy of a long walk.

· Eat with gusto and enthusiasm.

· Stop when you have had enough.

· Be loyal.

· Never pretend to be something you’re not.

· If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it.

· When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by and nuzzle them gently.

Author unknown, but whoever you are…. thank you!

How’s your attitude lately?

Take this short quiz and find out!

Get This – Survey Results – GlowDay.com

Could your attitude use some work? I invite you to join me (as my guest) for the FUN F.R.E.E. Positive Attitude Workshop on Tuesday, May 25th at 5:00pm Pacific.

Take charge of your attitude. Don’t let someone else choose it for you.
– Author Unknown

P.S. By the way, I am really hoping you can make this call but I know there are times when, well…things just happen. So rest assured you won’t miss a thing. If you register a recorded version of the call will be sent to you if for some reason you are unable to attend.

P.P.S. If you receive this via email click http://www.womenintransitiononline.com/deborah-speaks/ to view the quizz!