Women's Dream

How To Walk In High Heels

noreply@blogger.com (womens dream) — Mon, 23 Aug 2010 21:13:00 +0000

The step-by-step guide to having a painless after with the stiletto.

It's always the perfect diet excuse for me: The higher my heels are, the skinner I look. So why cut calories when I can just slip on a higher pair of heels and look like I've shed two kilos in a snap? My walk is sexier, I slouch less, and feel more confident.

The merits of wearing heels are hardly unknown, but wearing how to find a comfortable pair of heels seems like a mystery to most. My friend, Linda, 24 has a small mountain of heels that she absolutely loves (They're really quite swanky). But what do I see her wear daily?

Her pair of worn-in-Birkenstock sandals. "I can't seem to find a pair of heels as comfortable as my Birkies," she bemoans. "It's just unfair, the nice-looking ones always bite!"

Of course they do. But just like boys, the simple solution lies in knowing how to deal with them. so before you attempt a strut down New York city in those four-and-a-halfs (inches, of course), only to hobble back home, read on.

Anatomy Of High Heels

Toebox - There should be room for your toes to move freely. The more room there is, the easier it is to walk (that's why those pointly beauties hurt). Try to make sure there's a finger-wide space between your big toe and the hip of the shoe.

Insole Lining/Material - You can tell the general quality of the shoe from the material it's made of. Softer fabrics and materials cushion pressure on your feet, so go for leathers like suede. These materials tend to be more resistant too; they withstand use better and with proper care, they last longer.

Sole - The sole consist of an insole and outsole. The softer the insole, the greater the shoe's ability to absorb shock. And if your outsole is too smooth, ask a cobbler to etch some grooves into it to create greater sole-ground friction.

Heel - It's usually made of plastic. The higher the quality, the higher the price. The good ones are covered with leather, or with a layet of rubber or nylon. Always check that it is reinforced (with a steel tube inside) to ensure it doesn't break when you wear it out dancing - you don't want a twisted ankle.

Breast - This refers to the arch of the shoe and it effects your stability. The further forward the breast leans, the less you will wobble. If you have low arches or no arches (commonly known as flat feet), you'll need arch supports, or specially customized insoles from orthopaedics, for better fit.

TIPS AND TRICKS TO WALK IN HIGH HEELS

TRICK 1
Understand The Workings Of Your Foot And High Heel
Whether you're a high-heel novice or veteran, you need to be able to go into any shoe botique and know what fits you best. For me, shoe shopping is good any time of the day (clearly), but the best time is in the late afternoon, after you've been on your feet long enough for them to have swelled up and significantly affect your shoe size.

I question my well-heeled friends about their shopping habits. "Rule of thumb for me is to try the shoes thoroughly before buying," says Diana, 24, a Designer. "Be unafraid to explore your feet's full (the stresses "full" again) movement in the store." Flex your foot left, right, up and down to see if the fit is sufficienctly comfortable.

"And don't just pace around on carpeted area," advises another shoeholic, 24-year-old Caroline, a teacher, "walk on hard ground too. Make sure the shoes are a comfortable fit right from the start - a little teeny discomfort is magnified once you've worn them for hours."

Comfort is firstly decided by the type of heel chosen. The thicker the heel is at the point where it touches the ground, the easier it is to wear. Stilettos, with their spindly and narrow heels, are the most difficult to balance on. Wedges, on the other hand, are easiest because your weight is evenly distributed throughout the shoe which is great, especially when you need to get used to the extra height. Elaine, 27, a manager who lives in her heels all day long, wears mainly wedges. "Whenever the heel of the wedge is made of cork, I know I'll have easiet time with it. It's lightweight yet stable enough for me to run across the street," she explains.

TRICK 2
Learn How To Strut
Trust me, wobbling around town in a pair of heels (even if they're Blahniks) looks more tragic than wearing a pair of grotty slippers. The late Willi Ninja, creative director for Eon Model Management and walking coach to red carpet stars like Paris Hilton. Kristin Davis and Kim Cattrall, believed that the right walk can make any body look slimmer. The trick is to fully extend your front leg when you walk, without locking your knee. Don't over-do this though, and keep to the usual length of your stride. "Doing so completely changes your body alingment," said Ninja. "It's so sexy - you move like a beautiful graceful cheetah."

And stand straight. Wearing heels automatically thrusts your derriere out, but remember to keep your shoulders back. This will help with your balance, as well as reduce further stress on your spine. "Slouching makes your back ache and your clothes look terrible," said Ninja.

Stand against a wall so your head, shoulders and heels from a straight line againts the wall. Practise maintaining this posture until your body automatically assumes it whenever you put on a pair of heels.

TRICK 3
Get The Essential Help
Ever wonder why some people can live in high heels, and some just can't? Well, perhaps our genes are to blame. I remember someone saying, the shorter your calf muscles, the more your body tilts in a way that makes you feel comfortable standing on a pair of heels. Dr Low Chee Kwang, a senior consultant orthopaedic surgeon says it's true. "People with long calf muscles (who can bend their toes towards their shins with more ease) don't do so well on heels," Dr Low says.

If you're born with long sineway muscles, there's hope still. Heel exercise classes, which promise to make stiletto-wearing a breeze, have become a cult hit in Manhattan, where students are made to balance the balls of their feet on two knobbed rubber domes called Foot Wakers. While stretching your hands on them, go to yamunabodyrolling.com.

Willi Ninja swore by another exercise routine with the same claim. Five times a week, go barefoot and pretend you're in stilettos by walking on the balls of your feet to strengthen the ankles and calves.

So you see, there's no need to put those heels into cold storage. If they hurt, switch to a more comfortable pair, or quickly flag a cab and head home. And care for them; remember to stuff them with tissue to keep them in shape once you get home. Even Manolo Blahnik advise so.

How To Rock Your Single World

noreply@blogger.com (womens dream) — Mon, 23 Aug 2010 14:38:00 +0000

Tired of running the race for a ring? It's time to get off the want-a-wedding treadmill and into a fabulous new life. Dowm with the husband hunt, how to rock your single world?

I feel ripped off. I read a book the other day which I thought was going to inspire and entertain me in a way that only good chick lit can, when instead it took my god mood and stoped all over it with its nasty, trailer park stilletos. I was expecting the usual girlie novel formula: Sassy leading lady, gay best friend and neurotic work colleague stumble through life with a dash of drama and flair. But what I got was light years away from inspiring.

The main character was cool enough. She worked at a TV station and lived in a nice pad in the city. The problem was, she spent 13 entire chapters bemoaning her tragic, boring existance as a - shock, horror - single woman. There weren't even any subplots, overbearing mums or crazy bosses to liven things up. This character's entire life revolved around finding and marrying any thing with a Y-chromosome. So how does her fruitless search end?
She dates her dorky neighbour for about 40 pages, despite the two of them having the sexual chemistry of a dish rag and soup. But eventually, her clingness does his head in and even the guy next door runs as fast as his reef sandals will take him. Oh yes, this fab leading lady gets dumped by a guy who wears universal footwear of swedish tourists. Which brings me to the point of this anecdote.

Why does a successful, 20-something-woman - fictional or otherwise - see single life as a time to hunt down a ring instead of a phase of fun and self-discovery? Why can't we relish our freedom and catch up with old friends instead of laughing at the bad jokes of the loser next door in the hope of scoring a date? Why can't we make the most of our independence and just be happy? Becausewe're lacking in single self-Esteem, otherwise known as SSE. Which is why we've got a big fat dose of it coming right up.

The SINGLE truth

If you thought ordering takeaway for one and a Lindsay Lohan DVD on Friday night was depressing, spare a thought for our medievel single sisters. If you didn't pair up in fashionable time back then, you were labelled a witch and burnt at the stake or drowned, which kinda puts things into perspective. The truth is, there's never been a better time to be young, free and unattached.

In the past year, independent women made up 15 percent of all home buyers and received over half of all uni degrees. Go back just 20 years and women couldn't even get a loan on their own, let alone earn the same wage as men.

"Society's gender roles have shifted dramatically over the past few years," says sexologist Dr Haya Bar-Noy. "Before, women were expected to get married and rely on their husbands, now they're encourage to pursue a career where they can express and experience social, emotional and psychological fulfilment. This menas they're more financially stable than ever before."

So why is it that even though women have never had reason to feel less desperate, our SSE is plummetting at lightning speed? because some girls still believe that, if they throw one toothbrush into their shopping trolley instead of two, everyone around them will run in fear of breaking out in the single rash.

"The reality is that it's a personal pressure, not a social one," explains Dr Bar-Noy. No one looks twice at singles these days. It comes down to how you feel inside, which is why throwing all your energy into the husband hunt, instead of looking after yourself, leads to unhappyville. The good news? There's no need to ship your couple dreams off to Kazbekistan just yet. You don't have to ban boyfriends to boost your SSE, just be more picky about who you can date. Why? Because you can!

"Thanks to women's independence, we no longer need a man to bring home the bacon, which allows us to be more selective in love," says author and dating expert, Sue Ostler. "After all, almost anyone can have a partner; it's a case of finding the right partner and not settling for anything less." In other words, don't stop to dating Mr Reef Sandals.

LOVE Your Solo life

"I'm happier living on my own and being single than I've ever been," admits Jade, 27. "It took me a while to feel like this because, after my boyfriend and I broke up, I scoured bars for potential husbands. But since then I've put all my energy into having a fabulous life, no matter what my relationship status, and I'm a much more complete person for it. Now I know that, when a great guy does come my way, I'll have years of self-sufficiency under my belt, which will make me better partner."

So how do you get to this happy place? Firstly, work out what's dragging your single vibe down and address it. Whether it's family pressure to get married, a past relationship felt unresolved, or smug coupled-up friends, just tell them their behaviour is not appreciated. You need to be open and honest with people because, nine times out of 10, they don't realize they're hurting your feelings.

Secondly, inject some spark into your career, health and education. Any guy will tell you confidence is sexy, so work on yourself and you'll attract more positive attention.

"By learning how to enjoy your own company, you're devoloping crucial life skill," says Emily Dubberley, author of I'd Rather Be Single Than Settle. "It's only when you're happy alone that you can be truly happy with another person. Otherwise, every relationship you have will be based on need, rather than want."

Also remember that you deserved to be spoiled - regularly. It's a lot harder to feel bad when you're in dulging yourself. Often we think about others so much that we forget to spend money on ourselves, pamper out bodies, accept a compliment, or pat ourselves on the back. And, if we do, we fell guilty about it. Don't.

Trying something new will also set you on the fast-track to happiness. Whoever said that variety is the spice of life was a dead-set genius, because change is guaranteed to slingshot your SSE into the stratosphere.

"Changing as a person is a lot easier when you're single," says Dubberly. "There's no one to hold you back, complain that you're not the same as you used to be, or object to your decision to suddenly ban all meat products from the fridge. You can evolve to your heart's content."

So, if the writer of the most depressing book in the world is reading this, here's a tip. Make your next character a little more inspiring and give her healthy shot of SSE, because that's the kind of girl we want to be. Maybe then I won't be so inclined to burn your book and dance all over the ashes.

Relationship Rules

noreply@blogger.com (womens dream) — Mon, 23 Aug 2010 14:15:00 +0000

According to relationship research organization one-plus-one, we all come to relationships with different "rules". These affect our attitudes to everything from leaving the toothpaste cap off to having an affair. So it's important to establish some ground rules with your partner if you stay together happily.

WHAT YOU CAN DO:

1 Accept that you and your partner may have completely different ideas about what is appropriate behaviour in a relationship - you are individuals with different experiences and opinions.

2 Establish what attitude you have in common and what you don't.

3 Explain what really matters to you and why. For instance you could say, "I feel anxious when I don't know where you are, so please try to let me know."

4 Consider the things he really cares about and take them seriously.

5 Don't make assumptions - we often row about our differences because we assume the other person is being critical or ignoring our needs. There might be another explanation, such as stress or anxiety.

6 Consider whether there's a hidden agenda. Arguments about everyday things can be a manifestation of deeper unresolved issues. For instance, are you in conflict about getting married, moving house or having a child?

7 Try to find a middle way between you and him if in conflict.

8 Remember what made you fall in love with him in the first place. If it was his spontaneity, being on time may not be his biggest strenght. Focus on what you love and minimise what irritates you.

Related article:
Is Your Relationship Cooling Off?
Recognizing Mr. Rebound

10 Deadly Spending Sins

noreply@blogger.com (womens dream) — Thu, 19 Aug 2010 20:40:00 +0000

Tired of scraping through with little left over for life's luxuries? Then it's time you tightened up your bad spending habits.

You are broke again - just like last month and the month before. It happens every time you're about to get paid - you run out of money and don't know how you will make it to your next paycheque. Not only does it mean that at times you've had to hit your friends for cash because you can't afford staples like lunch or taxi fare. It also means that your bigger dreams like travelling to Europe or buying a new car will never get a look in.

Clearly your approach to your finances needs a complete makeover. Setting a weekly budget and firm financial goals will, week to week, take the stress out of making end meet. Longer term, it will help you work towards that big overseas trip or even a deposit on a flat if you're together enough to be thinking that far ahead. To adopt a more grown-up approach to your finances and make your money work for you, break the following unhelpful spending habits:

1 Maxing Your Credit Card
Can't make a dent in your credit card balance, which is always at its upper limit? You would do better to take out a personal loan, offload your entire credit debt then chip away at the personal loan repayments, which will be at a much lower interest rate. To prevent the problem arising again, become more hardline about your credit card use. Never go shopping for anything without first setting a budget. If buying an item like a duvet, pair of shoes or new hairdryer, take only the money you have budgeted for and leave your cards at home.

Set good credit habits such as: Always paying off the minimum balance each month and; limiting your credit spending to no more than 20 percent of your net monthly income. If you know you just can't control your credit addiction, lower your limit or use a debit card. It has all the same advantage but you are limited spending the equivalent of what you have in your bank account. If that doesn't work it's time to bite the bullet. Simply cut your card up and avoid having one at all.

2 Buying Lunch Every Day
That 20 Dollars you spend on lunch and coffees every day might seem like no big deal across a week or a month, but it amounts to a fair wad of cash when you look at the damage over a full year. This money would be better placed in a savings account for emergencies or squiireled away for an end of year holiday. So get up 15 minutes earlier in the morning and pack foods like sandwiches, salads, cracker and dip, yoghurt and fruit to take to work. Or maybe it's time to eat detox food.This will benefit your waistline as well as your financial prospect. at the office, keep a mini coffee plunger and tasty ground coffee so that you can start your workday with an enjoyable brew that costs less.

"I used to buy lunch every day at work because I loved having something different and I barely managed to grab a coffee in the morning enroute to the office so there was no way that I had time to make lunch from home," says Angelina, 25. "At the time I'd just moved out of home and had my first proper job and wage so I went a bit berserk, going out heaps and buying lots of clothes. Though it was lots of fun, doing that for three years really set me back, and I ended up with huge credit card debt that I couldn't pay off. Meanwhile, my dreams of buying my own laptop were fading in the distance. At one point I was so broke I had to borrow money from a grlfriend because I got my periods and couldn't afford tampons.

"It was so embarrasing that I vowed then and there to turn my life around. I started going out less and buying clothes at factory outlets. I also started packing lunch and snacks every day. Two years on, I've not only cleared my credit card debt - I've also managed to buy my laptop. Now that I'm used to being frugal I find it easy and I feel more fulfilled than I did when I was spending most of my salary."

3 Smoking
If quitting seems too daunting, start slowly reducing the number of cigarettes you have each day and see your doctor about aids like nicotine gum or patches. Giving up completely will not only save you money every week it will help reduce the chances of smoking - related health problems which could cost you great deal in medical bills down the track.

4 Getting Everything Brand New
Sometimes you can pick up great bargains in secondhand shops, the classified ads of the local pappers or on ebay. So whether you're looking for a new set of bookshelves, a roof rack for your car or a hot pair of 70s boots, check out the secondhand option first. For more general items such as bra and undies sets and bed linen shop around in department stores during the sales period to find the cheapest buys.

5 Hanging Out At The Mall On Weekends
This is a sure-fire way to tempt yourself to spend money on something you don't really need, particulary if you're hanging with friends who will probably want indulge in some shopping therapy with you. To avoid window-shopping and the impulse buying it causes, don't go to shopping malls unless you're there for a specific purpose like getting a new CD or a present for your boyfriend. If you happen to be at the mall and see something you're tempted to splurge on, hold off. Go home, think it over, sleep on it and you'll be suprised how less powerful the urge to buy will be in the morning. By taking your time you're likely to realise you don't really need to buy whatever it was after all.

6 Sending Out
Your fridge is full of wilting vegies because you're always out having brunch at a cafe or ordering pizza for dinner. This could be sucking big bucks from your weekly budget. Instead, aim to eat take-away no more than once or twice a week. Keep ingredients on hand so you can whip up tasty salads and quick melas like tomato tuna with pasta at home - set a roster where you cook one night and your flatmate cooks the next. When you're making something like a chicken soup, do double the amount, then freeze-made meal if you're exhausted when you get home or want a quick bite before you head out.

If you're a die-hard cafeholic, you can still enjoy a coffee fix by your fave barista, but stick to a drink and don't order food as well. Eat lunch or have a healthy snack at work/home/your friend's place, then head to your local coffee haunt for your usual latte or cino.

7 Choosing Designer
This is no problem if your salary can afford it - but that's not the case for most of us. So get into the habit of living beneath your means. To get the ball rolling:

Find a cheaper lipstick and foundation.
Wait until the new season clothes mimicking - the latest designer gear comes out at the cheaper stores, then buy the look of the moment.
At the supermarket, opt for no-frills brands for some items.
Only ever shop at designer boutiques when they are having sales

8 Carrying Too Much Money
If your wallet is bulging with cash it's easier to snap up that bottle of perfume you saw on sale or cheap handbag you chanced on while getting a present for a friend. Encourage yourself to be more discerning, by minimizing the cash you have on hand - you'll be suprised at how much less you spend.

9 Not Practicing DIY Beauty Maintenance
Though it's nice to pamper yourself at a beauty spa or hair salon, it's good idea to get used to doing some beauty routines at home. For starters, invest in a good intensive conditioner to moisturize tresses weekly and buy a manicure set so you can do your nails yourself. Instead of going to a salon for a body treatment - buy a body scrub or mud and turn your bathroom into a day spa for the afternoon.

10 Overspending on Gifts
"I used to blow lots of money buying my friends birthday gifts like expensive clothes or jewellary and because I have a lot of friends that meant I was spending a lot of money," says Alicia, 30. "but then one year on my birthday a girlfriend gave me a great photo collage she'd mad from digital shots of our gang on holidays. It was fantastic and I loved it. It menat so much to me that I realized I didn't have to throw my money around to prove to mates I cared about them. Now when friends have birthdays I choose something simpler like a magazine subscription and a homemade cake or CD compilation I've made through iTunes. Because I've put time into the present, my friends consider it more meaningful."

If you use little imagination you'll soon realize it's easy to downscale the gifts you give and save money. Look for sale items like nice candles or DVDs during the year and put them aside to use as presents. Pick a nice photo of you and your mate and put it in a cheap wooden frame, which you can stain or paint for more effect. If you're really strapped for cash, make your friend a birthday cake, then suggest a girlie night at her place - just being together will make it special.

Is Your Relationship Cooling Off?

noreply@blogger.com (womens dream) — Thu, 19 Aug 2010 12:50:00 +0000

Take this Quiz to find out if your relationship fire is burning bright or almost out.

1 When you were in the first throes of lust, the two of your were at it all the time. Now, you:
a) Frequently reject his overtures.
b) Have more quality rather than quantity sex.
c) Relegate sex to a lower priority of things you enjoy doing together.

2 Whenever your man trots out his favourite funny story in front of people who haven't heard it before, you:
a) Smile encouragely and hope everyone is amused.
b) Beam lovingly and laugh as hard as the first time you heard it.
c) Stop listening.

3 If your man can't see you over the weekend because he's busy, you feel:
a) Depressed. Your "old days" were much better.
b) Wonder how once loving relationship could go wrong.
c) Thank your lucky stars your "new" days are as good if not better than "old".

4 Months ago you booked an out-of-the-way spot where there'll be you and him not much else. On the eve of your departure, you:
a) Have an attack holiday remorse and wonder if he's feeling the same way.
b) Tell your man, "Let's start our holiday now," and put off packing until later.
c) Hedge your bets and pack equal amounts of sexy underwear and romantic novels.

5 When you hear a newsflash about a serious crash on the highway your man takes to work, you:
a) Get hysterical.
b) Realize you're indifferent to his fate.
c) Think, "He can't be involved, "but nervously await an update.

6 Your gorgeous friend makes a drunken pass at your man. You:
a) Get jealous and hope he doesn't respond to her overtures.
b) Vow never to speak to the bitch again. Ask yourself, "What does she see in him?"
c) Ask yourself, "What does she see in him?"

7 On the rare occasion when your man reveals his frustrations and failures, you:
a) Criticies him for being a wimp.
b) Give him as much support as you think he needs.
c) Feel closer to him than before.

8 You have a fight about an issue that has plagued your relationship since day one. Later, you:
a) Have a laugh and make up.
b) Storm out.
c) Kick yourself for trying to change him.

9 You and your man work close to each other, although you never have time to meet. One day you see him walking towards you on the streer. You:
a) Think "Now we'll have to have lunch together and I'll never finish my errands."
b) Have heart palpitations and get wobby legs.
c) Grin happily - what a delightful suprise!

10 Your man has never quite gotten the hang seat, hanging up his clothes, etc. You:
a) Do the necessary and not give it another thought.
b) Nag to him unmercifully even though you know it's pointless.
c) Regard his foibles as endearing.

HOW YOU SCORED?

a b c

1. 0 20 10

2. 10 20 0

3. 0 10 20

4. 0 20 10

5. 20 0 10

6. 10 20 0

7. 0 10 20

8. 20 0 10

9. 0 20 10

10. 10 0 20

What Your Score Means?
200-151: This relationship rages with a fiercences that makes you exhilarated and yet still wanting more! What started as infatuation has - perhaps far too quickly - progressed to an almost unbearable possesiveness.
150-101: Boiling nicely. The heat you two generate is based on gradual stoking of your attraction (physical, mental, emotional) rather than by a sudden explosion.
100-50: Don't deny it: Your relationship is in meltdown phase. What once was hot is not, and you're left wondering what's happened. As yourself and your partner - if this just temporary or indicative of something more serious.
49-0: This is a relationship where the embers have gone cold and is only kept together by habit. No one likes to see the fires die, but when they do, then it's best to part.

Recomended Article : Relationship Rules

Incredible Statistic

noreply@blogger.com (womens dream) — Wed, 18 Aug 2010 15:10:00 +0000

87 The percentage of married men aged 60 to 65 who are sexually active.

40 The number of consecutive days men with erectile dysfunction should take ginseng extract before taking a three month break.
70 The percentage of men using a new Tempe unaesthetic spray on their penis reported that it significantly delayed premature ejaculation.
288 The fee that Japanese women pay the precious escort service for a two-hour fling with any of its 1'500 gigolos.
9 The percentage of Asians who have a threesome.

Lose Kilos By Grocery Shopping

noreply@blogger.com (womens dream) — Wed, 18 Aug 2010 14:53:00 +0000

Most People Find detoxing hard because they don't plan ahead. Simply change the way you shop for a healthier, slimmer you.

First off, it's time for a spring clean. Ditch everything in your cupboard that's anti-detox - that jar of peanut butter, the secret stash of chocolate, coffee, plus the bottles of sauce, mustard and ice-cream topping in your fridge. You'll just be torturing yourself by keeping them there.

Shop two or three times a week, rather than in one big, bulk buy, so that the food you're eating is as fresh as possible. Small buys mean no trolley. so no urge to fill up.

Check the local papers or community center for nearby grower's markets that sell cheap, fresh produce.

Look around your area for a fresh fruit and vegetables delivery service. A lot of shops drop boxes of mixed produce to people's door once or twice a week.

Eat the best food you can afford. Some specialized health food brands can be expensive, so try not to spend a fortune on groceries, and don't buy processed or junk food as a substitute.

Detox Super Foods Shopping List

noreply@blogger.com (womens dream) — Wed, 18 Aug 2010 14:08:00 +0000

Once you've cleaned out your pantry, stock up on these detox super foods:

Plain bio-dynamic or soya yogurt.
Rice Or soy milk.
Gluten - or yeast - free muesli.
Honey.
Wheat - free/gluten - free rye bread.
Corn tortillas.
Eggs.
Pumpkin or olive oil spread bananas.
Vegetables - Lettuce asparagus, spinach, broccoli, bok choy, snow peas, carrots, cauliflower, celery, beetroot.
Frozen mixed vegetables.
Onion, shallots, ginger and garlic
Chicken, salmon and any other fish (excluding tuna).
Brown rice, brown rice pasta or brown rice noodles.
Extra virgin olive oil, sesame or sunflower oil.
Gluten - free/wheat - free and sugar - free biscuits.
Herbal teas - peppermint, chamomile, green tea.
Rock salt.
Herbs - fresh mint, coriander, dill, thyme, rosemary, basil (use to flavour salads or with a marinade for fish and chicken)
LSA mix (linseed, sunflower and almound.
Pine nuts.
Fetta, ricotta or buffalo mozzarella.

The Celebrity Detox

noreply@blogger.com (womens dream) — Sun, 15 Aug 2010 21:27:00 +0000

Get Energy Now!

The Celeb Detox

Gwyneth, Kate and Kylie Swear By

Want clearer skin, more energy, plus a leaner, sexier bod? Coming right up! By Sarah Gawthorne.

There's one thing racing through my mind as I walk into the London Offices of Dr Nish Joshi - detox guru and natural health practitioner to the stars. I can't help but wonder who else has sat waiting on his black leather couch - Gwyneth Paltrow, Cate Blanchett, Kylie Minogue or Kate Moss, perhaps? More celebrities walk through this man's office than past the door bitch at LA club Hyde on a Saturday night. Gwyneth says he's "truly special" and that she "loves him". Not a bad wrap. So what's the A-list attraction?

"Celebrities are very reliant on having energy, vitality, looking good, feeling good and they're always the first ones to find somebody to help them achieve optimum health," said Joshi. "People don't realize how hard they work. It's not all that glamorous - It's incredibly tiring. One client had to be picked up at six every morning to go on set and wouldn't get home until 11 pm. She was doing that for three months, with only sunday off. Many stars come to me because they've got travel or movie commitments and they need to have lots of energy. They don't want to get sick; they want to look good and have a sparkle in their eye."

What's the Dr Joshi plan?

His first book, Joshi's Holistic Detox: 21 Days To A Healthier, Slimmer You - For Life (Hodder & Stoughton), made detox the thing to do among the celeb set in 2005.

"It's an education to see how your diet is potentially giving rise to lethargy or bloating, lack oc cocentration, mood swings and hormonal imbalances," explains Joshi. "Even how nutrition is affecting your headaches, joint plan, plus ovarian or tummy problems, It's suppose to be a life-changing attitude towards your diet." The second book, which just hit the shelves in Australia, is Joshi's Holistic Life Plan (Hodder & Stoughton). "This takes things one step further," adds Joshi. "A lot of People find that, once they start feeling more energetic, they're able to focus a lot more in their lives."

Detox sounds scary. Is it hard?

"It's not difficult at all. It's just about re-educating yourself," he says. " Just like if you go into a gym, you need to be shown how to use the equipment properly or create imbalance in your body."

What problems does it help with?

"Most people come to me with a lack of energy. Other common problems are dull skin, complexion imbalances. A lot of women also suffer from bloating or constipation. Rather than relying on prescription medication all the time, you can actually change your body's ability to function better just by making some positives changes."

Click Here to get your FREE shopping list for 'Detox Super Foods'

Recognising Mr Rebound

noreply@blogger.com (womens dream) — Sun, 15 Aug 2010 13:31:00 +0000

You can't believe you've met such a great guy so soon after breaking up with the jerk. But don't expect this love to last....

It was a mere five weeks after my split with the then-love of my life when I met him. My heart was broken, my self-esteem in tatters and it was my birthday! my friends sabrina was throwing me a party, but all I wanted to do was climb into a cask of cheap red wine and drown in it.

I still don't know how I got out of bed for the party. I'd pretty much spent five weeks in pyjamas, crying, watching TV and chain-smoking with the efficiency of a woman attempting to commit slow-motion suicide. But somehow I had. Then he walked in. I still remember where I was- sitting on the kitchen counter, wearing tight bootcut trousers that only fitted me because i'd lost 5 kg on the heartbreak diet.

There was an instant spark between us. He worked for my publishers and I'd invited him because he sounded fun. Turned out he was gorgeous too! I'd been so in lust with ny ex that I was terrified I'd never fancy anyone again. It was great to be proved wrong. He rang me the next day and asked me out. I couldn't believe my luck.

Not only had I met a wonderful guy, but miraculously, it happened so soon after my horrible break-up. I told everyone how great he was and threw myself into the relationship. By coincidence, he'd just split up with someone himself, so it had to be fate. throughout it all, I was blissfully unware that I wasn't ready for a relationship. My friend knew it, but they were so relieved to see me upright and capable of stringing a sentence together that they refrained from pointing out he was my rebound guy.

Because, of course, he was, My ex still haunted me. I saw his face in strangers, dreamed about him constantly and had a hard time managing not to call Rebound Guy by my ex's name.

My "new relationship" burned bright for a month and a half, and then he dumped me. said he could tell that I wasn't over my ex. He also said he had a feeling that he and I weren't meant to be lovers, but friends.

I fought him tooth and nail. Accused him of being commitment-phobic. This was a real relationship, I insisted. Then as soon as it was over, I forgot him in instant, as if he had been a figment of my imagination - which, in a way, he had. It took me over a year to get my break-up grieving done. I wrote about my ex obsessively - pages of longing and regret, descriptions of his body, how I felt ripped apart without him. And I thought a lot about Rebound Guy and realised that you're so desperate after a bad break-up, youy'll do anything, and throw yourself at anyone, to stop that loneliness. And, slowly, I was able to see the signs I'd been missing.

A Rebound Guy comes soon after the break-up. He seems perfect; when you talk about him, your eyes are unnaturally bright, and your voice is higher and louder than usual, because you're busy convincing yourself. A rebound Guy is all about haste, with no time to decide if he's really right for you. Time's the last thing you want. Because with time comes space - the empty hole left by your ex - so you cram Rebound Guy into that gap, like a human plug, stopping up your misery.

Now my ex is a distant memory, I'm happier and wiser. As for Rebound Guy, we're good friends now, and he's engaged to the love of his life. It turns out that I was Rebound Girl, too...

Hi girls!

How can you tell if you're the Rebound Girl?

Six Signs He's Board With You In Bed

noreply@blogger.com (womens dream) — Sun, 15 Aug 2010 06:07:00 +0000

1. A certain in day of the week means it's time to do IT.

2. The positions never vary.

3. Ditto locations.

4. He closes his eyes more than he used to as he's no longer getting visuals. Instead, he's using his imagination and you probably ain't in it.

5. He now waits until the end of TV shows to make his move.

6. He no longer looks that upset when you're not in the mood.

Jack Nocholsan says, "In terms of age, you could say that, over the last year, I've probably covered the territory from 21 to 61."

5 Men Reveal

The thing that irritates them most about their partner's female friends.
"The fact that they somehow always seem to call just when we're about to start having sex". - Sarah, 24
"The whispering, followed by 'we're talking about girl stuff'. come on how old are you?" - Danial, 24
"The way they tell me how lucky I am to have my girlfriend. Believe me, I know."- Martin, 28
"I hate it that after they have had a few drinks and semi-seriously ask when I am going to propose?" - Paul, 26
"I bet that during the tough times in our relationship, at least one of them has told my girlfriend she could' do better" - Addy, 25

Recreate Your Love Life

noreply@blogger.com (womens dream) — Sat, 07 Aug 2010 08:51:00 +0000

Some girls believe the only kind of man worth falling in love with is the man who accepts us as we are. But why make it so difficult for men? Why insist on being ugly duckling just to prove a point? why not recreate our love lives... and ourselves? So, you've never been in love? Never had a man flirt with you or ask for your number; never been on a real date; never gone on an adventure into the erotic unknown? And wait - I bet you're proud of all the virtue, right? I bet you think you're being true true to yourself, because if a man can't accept you for what you are - overweight, pimply, moody, angry, maybe all of the above - then he's a jerk and doesn't deserve you attention, right?

Oh, give me a break and stop feeling sorry for yourself. If you think love should not have anything to do with the way you look or behave, then you’ve been reading too many angry, sour grapes blogs. Either that, or you’ve not been reading anything at all. Lipstick and plucked eyebrows, winning smiles and positive vibes, smooth legs and smart skirts – these thing have a lot to do with finding true love. Girls who insist on wearing a well-ignored, ugly duckling persona just to prove a point have no idea what they’re missing.

Call me a chauvinist if you must, but let me be blunt: girls who care about the way they look, dress and behave are always more attractive than girls who don’t care about these things… but not for the reasons you think. You see, a girl’s outward identity is the only visual clue us blokes have about her inner identity. If your outward identity looks good, we assume that your inner identity looks good, too. It is not the skirt or flirt that interests us, but what the skirt and flirt means.

It’s a fair assumption to make that if you care enough about yourself to wax your underarms and chew with your mouth closed, then we can be fairly certain that you brush your teeth and like to kiss, too.

What I’m trying to say is that men are not attracted to boobs or legs or toes, but to positivity, same as women. A woman who has a positive outward appearance paints a picture of a positive inner personality. What a guy sees with his EYES are your long legs, pretty eyes and lustrous hair; but what he sees in his MIND is the inner positivity that belongs to a creature of such beauty. How could someone who takes such good care of herself have anything but a conscientious, caring soul?

If you take care to look good, to be courteous, to smile and to be sincere, then that reflects the confident, compassionate girl you are on the inside. And that’s the kind of girl a man could fall in love with.

The weight of attraction

When you are on the other end of a room and there is no one around to tell us who you are, the only thing a man can see about you is the way you look. Overweight girls stir up feelings of pity and distaste. Underweight girls make us think of poor self-image and Karen carpenter. And yet both these perceptions may be changed by the way you dress. Even a perfect, 10-by-10 body can be ruined by the clothes it wears!

Now, I know that some “power” girls wear their extra pounds like a badge of honor. They want to say, “I don’t give a damn what you think about my body,” which is admirable but also self-defeating; because what us guys hear you say is, “I don’t care enough about myself to do something about it.”

Some of my favorite girlfriends were more roundy than slim, but what they lacked in svelteness they made up for in other areas. I, for one, cannot tell the difference between a 55kg body and 60 kg body.

Yet there are few things more admirable than on overweight girl who loses some dramatic pounds. Losing weight shows discipline, dedication and above all, a love of oneself. Men who once noticed you for your outsizedness will now admire you for your self control and commitment, because when we see a truly plump girl lose enough weight to shed three dress sizes we know that’s a real achievement.

As an added bonus to all that positivity, of course, you also get to dress much better, because let’s face it: nice clothes come in small sizes. Men will be happier to buy you gifts, too, because know they’ll be able to get something that will fit within an hour.

Granted, if your weight problem is inherited, then there is not much you can do. Also, you probably already own clothes that look best on you – there is a certain kind of wardrobe that flatters larger physiques; lots of black and brown, lots of vertical stripes and pleats. But if your weight problem is not genetic; if you are overweight simply because of a steady diet of television, chocolate ice-cream and cupcakes, then you have no excuse not to lose that extra fat. Not only will you start generating more interest from blokes, but you’ll also feel much better about yourself.

Not-so-shallow make-up

Obesity is probably the toughest obstacle to face when it comes to recreating your love life, and will naturally take time. However, all other physical traits – hair, skin, eyebrows – can be improved upon in a matter of days. There is no physical handicap that should hamper your efforts to start looking as positive on the outside as you feel on the inside.

If you have neglected to care for your skin through years of self-loathing and self-pity, well, now’s the time to get some proper facial cleanser, moisturizers and toners and start repairing all the damage you’ve inflicted upon yourself. Get your eyebrows plucked (bushy eyebrows on anyone other than George Clooney looks creep), your legs waxed and your nails neatly trimmed. It needn’t cost a lot of money if you do it yourself, and it can be kind of fun.

Next, get a haircut; and, if you can afford it, some hair coloring to get with it. Then make sure you brush your hair one-hundred times every day to keep it shiny and bouncy (at least, that’s what I remember Rapunzel doing).

Finally, look over your cosmetics. Are you using the right colors, or are you using hand-me-downs from your sister or cousin? Are they the colors of today, or of yesteryear? I’m not suggesting that you should plaster your face for every trip to the fast food restaurant (from what I’m told, wearing make-up all the time is bad for your skin, anyway); but I am saying that there is no harm in using a little powder to even out your complexion a little, and that a little lip gloss will go a long way towards making men notice your lips.

that should do it. If you are offended by my shallowness, if you think that losing weight and wearing lipstick makes you no better than a barbie doll, then you're obviously missing the point and simply do not care enough about yourself. But if you're willing to recreate yourself on the outside and feel the changes take place on the inside, then get ready: you're about to fall in love.

Friends and Lovers

Now that you're no longer the dumpy, pimply thing that you once were, get ready to be shocked, because here they come: Men. Tall men, short men, round men, thin men, dark men, red men, good men, and bad men. All attracted to that crispy positively in your outward appearance. All attracted to that vibe.

You may not be a sexpot (yet), but you are clean, stylish and pleasing to look at. In other words, you look like someone who cares about herself... and, as I've said, men find that very attractive. Even from quite a distance, a man can tell that you are a positive girl.; someone they might like to get to know a little better. But although you look the part from across the room, can you act the part up close?

Men sense and feel positive vibrations with the same five-senses-plus-one that women do. The more positive you look and feel up close, the less we are tempted to seek out the negatively underneath. We don't want to spend a lot of time psycho analyzing you. All we want is a smiling face, direct eye contact and a listener's attitude. Just these three things - coupled with your new hair and make-up and skirt size - will bring you more dates than you ever had.

Still, I assume that you are NOT recreating yourself to be a slut, but to find love. Even if you do intend on using your new powers of persuasion for other purpose, though, the rules are the same: don't be loose. A confident sense of self beats a week, easily subjugated personality every time.

You don't want to attract the kind of shallow, egotistical men who will date you, dominate you and dump you at the first sign of commitment. This is the kind of man who likes easy women. Instead, what you want is to create a lasting impression of being a girl worth knowing... whether or not you ever open your arms to a man. you want to give off an air of infinite romantic possibility, and yet be someone a man will value as a friend, NOT just a lover. You want to be worth it, get it?

The dumbest thing you can ever do as your new self is to be desperate. Remember what a man is really interested in: positively. Acting like you've just escaped life imprisonment in convent capacity makes you look naive; if he's a particularly prissy prude, he might even call you rude.

Good Vibrations

So, exercise a little restraint, eh? Even if you really want to experience your own Harlequin romance with him, don't show it yet - there will be plenty of time to letting go of yourself later, trust me. Remember that it is your inner girl that makes you who you are. If you do not feel positive about yourself, there is no way your outer girl can look positive... not with all the Guess and MNG shopping vouchers in the world.

That said, making an effort to look good CAN certainly make you feel good, if only for a while. But those few moments of positively can literally change your life. Men start smiling at you and you start feeling better about yourself - only superficially at first, but with more confidence as it happens more frequently. Their smiles start triggering smiles from you in return, which naturally triggers even more smiles all around. Also, don't forget that your positivity is not only attractive to men, but women, too (although not necessarily in a romantic sense, you understand). Suddenly, there is a whole lot of positive vibe moving around inside you, around you, among you; and that's when good things start to happen.

if you dare to recreate your love life by being positive, you will have no choice but to experience the possibilities that exist outside the walls of that well-ignored, ugly duckling persona you have worn for so long. The vibe will set in motion a chain of events that will not only charge up your love life, but also your social life and your career.

10 Common Sex Myths Uncovered

noreply@blogger.com (womens dream) — Sat, 07 Aug 2010 07:54:00 +0000

Books tell you one thing, friends tell you another. So should you worry if you're not constantly poised to set the sheets alight with passion?

1.There's no such thing as 2.8 times per week.

No married couple makes love every night.If someone tells you they never go to sleep without doing "it" first, they're probably lying - or, intercourse is probably not fully satisfactory. Even close girlfriends often don't come clean about how many times a week they actually make love with their husbands. There's always a secret fear that everyone else is doing it more than you. However, there's no rule that says you have to have sex all the time. Sure, it's important in a relationship, but it's not everything. There's a natural ebb and flow to any couple's sexual rhythm and on high days you may find it nightly joy while, in between, there may be weeks where it doesn't happen.

2.Holidays aren't automatically second honeymoons

You and your spouse deserve quality time, but it isn't just about sex. Don't assume you're going to fall into bed for 48-hour orgy the minute you hit the hotel room, because you're both probably going to be far too tired. Family pressures can drive much more of wedge between you then you actually realise - and when the path is clear, taking that step towards each other can be tricky. So take it slowly.

3.Your body may be saying 'stop' even though your mind says 'go, go, go!'.

Sometimes you want sex, but something just doesn't gel. Your spouse caresses your body and instead of tingling with anticipation, it bristles with irritation. Even with his best efforts, you remain as dry as a prune. The truth is, in many women, their "Va-jay-jay" is not an ever welling spring and it can need a helping hand on occasion. One way is to distract your mind. Concentrate on the sensations you are enjoying and the sexual excitement you do feel. If necessary, remove your partner from the "problem" area and ask him to stroke your back or legs instead. Don't feel guilty - it's OK to take pleasure.

4.Sometimes It's difficult to keep your mind on job

It's often very hard to close everything off to concentrate on sexual enjoyment. Many women say they can only get so far before their minds start to drift, and, if they think about sex at all, they're doing also as a spectator. Luckily there are techniques to stop these instructive though. They're similar to the help given to flight phobics. Every time you feel your mind starting to wander, say "STOP" to yourself - preferably not out loud - and focus on your breathing and the physical sensations instead.

5.Children are highly effective means of contraception

Babies are wonderful, but they often lack the ability to discriminate between day and night. Admittedly, they do sleep sometimes, but then so do you. And it's hard to keep your mind on the joys of the flesh when both ears are pinned back awaiting the first wail of the night. The good news is that once through the baby stage, children do sleep more, but most of them do demand access to your bedroom at any hour of the night. The sensible thing to do is put a discreet lock on your bedroom door so that when the mood takes you, you can gently close it - which is fine if you aren't put off by cries of "but" what are you doing and why can't I come in?"

6.Sometimes, oldies are often Goldie's

You may read about adventurous ideas for sizzling up the bedroom by sex perts, but sometimes they don't always work in practice. Says Jasmine, 32, "I read somewhere that putting yogurt on my man's private would turn the heat on - but the only thing it did was to turn hot, sour and rancid!" In terms of turns on, the oldies are often Goldie's. You may think suspenders and black stockings are predictable, but as long as you enjoy it, you can bet that you'll get a rise out of your man. Also, more often than not, blindfolding is a sure-winner.

7.Trying a new way doesn't mean the old way was wrong

Suggesting a change in your sex life can be threatening. So even if your partner's technique resembles that of a pinball player - a tweak and a proud before he expects the goodies - it's probably not a good idea to put it to him that way. Anyway, if you do have a "sex by numbers" routine, don't forget, you are partly to blame because you've been lying there letting it happen. Women can take the initiative, either to start our change the pattern of sex. Experimentation is healthy and, once you can bring yourself to view sex as a form of adult play, it gets much easier to take risks. You might want to settle for moving his hand a little to the right and saying, "Mmmm, that feels good" or telling him it's his turn to lie still while you massage him with baby oil. Bring him to the edge of climax, then tell him he has to wait. You'll blow his mind and give him new ideas to tantalize you.

8.When you want it, he won't - and vice versa

Sex isn't duty. You should never feel obliged to do it, but there are times when a little effort and spot of compromise will turn a "headache" night into an "OK", why not?". For a start, sex doesn't have to be a three-course meal. The two-hour marathon is fine, even fantastic, for the occasional blowout, but most will agree they can also take pleasure in simpler things. secondly sex doesn't always have to mean an orgasm. But if one of you wants one and the other doesn't, what's the harm in a cuddle or the "touch of a hand" instead? All it needs is a slight shift in perception to see intercourse as just another type of cuddle. If you know you aren't expected - and you can't always have the energy - to strive for an orgasm, sex can still be pleasurable. plus, a spot of artificial lubrication can smooth-en the way. Remember - sex isn't an exam. If you both get what you want, then what's the problem?

9.Fantasy refreshes the parts that real men may not reach

It may not be something we confess over coffee, but most women do indulge in fantasies. Sharon, 34, shares, "Although I'm happily married and love my husband, I always have at least one fantasy figure on the go'." The men who unwittingly co-star in her sometimes steamy mental dramas are people she finds attractive and usually knows quite well - but she assures that she would never make a move on them. The big question is whether or not to share the fantasy with your partner. Confessing your secret turn-on could give a flagging love life a boost. But fantasy, like sex, is a two-way thing - so if you can't listen to his without feeling jealous, then perhaps you shouldn't try it at all.

10.Superwoman is a cartoon character, not you!

At the end of the day, no one can do everything, be everywhere - and be sexy at the same time! When you're feeling tired or having a bad day, don't knock yourself out having a bad day, don't knock yourself out trying to perfect wife; give yourself a break - and admit you're only human. Your husband will understand that even a sexy goddess like you needs some time off!

5 love Mistakes smart people make

noreply@blogger.com (womens dream) — Sat, 07 Aug 2010 04:07:00 +0000

Dance around the most common love potholes couples fall into and say good bye to fights and failed relationships.

1. Setting up House Too Quickly

Your story: “Adam and I met through a mutual friend – there was an immediate connection. We were totally obsessed with each other and I moved into his place after only three weeks. It was great at first – even the annoying thing she did, like leaving his dirty dishes in the sink, didn't bother me because I loved him. But after a while, the novelty of each of each other wore off and we started fighting. We’d have some doozies, mainly about my family. I guess we’d been so caught up in falling in love that we hadn’t stopped to find out the important stuff about each other.” Brenda, 26

Love lessons: It’s quite common for couples to become very besotted, very quickly. The problem is, for the first three to 18 months of most relationships, people have their loved-up glasses on and can’t make sensible decisions. “When couples first meet, they’re influenced by a need to hold onto that someone special,” says relationship psychologist Collen Gray.

“They often see what they want to see and don’t make time for important conversations about what they really want.” So what can you do? Make a different commitment, like holidaying together to test the waters first. Also, map out your future plans to make sure you’re on the same page. It may sound scary, but it’s better to know now than later. “The ingredients for a strong relationship are trust and congruence, and these don’t develop overnight – these things take time,” explain Gray.

2. Making Comparison

Your Story: “My boyfriend, Tom, and I lived with another couple, Merryn and Ben. They were all over each other all the time, constantly sneaking away for quickies and sharing jokes. I started focusing on every they did, asking, ‘Why aren’t we like that anymore?’. I’d force romantic situations, such as a romantic dinner, and then brag to Ben and Merryn about how good it was, to prove that we were just as in love as them. I soon forgot I was in my relationship and started believing I was in my theirs – it nearly ruined what we had.” – Jasmine, 27

Love Lessons: “Everyone’s relationship is different and making comparisons is pointless,” says Gray. “Not only does it take the focus away from your own relationship, but they’re often wrong.” Just because a couple look perfect doesn’t mean they still are behind closed doors. “The binding glue of any relationship is friendship, interest, affection and enjoyment,” adds Gray. “You really have to focus on these four things if you’re going to make your union work.” Talk to your partner about any concerns, think positively and do things outside your comfort zone. Making comparisons and laying blame is just lazy.

3. Seeing Everything From Only One Side

Your story: “ My friend, Viv, and her husband, Brett, had a rocky engagement. They argued all the time because she’d spend hours organizing their wedding while he’d be at the pub with his mates. After much pleading from her parents, they went to a relationship counselor and saw the light. Viv wasn’t telling Brett how she felt, while he was being unknowingly selfish. It took a third party to make them appreciate the other person’s point of view.” – Sian, 29

Love lessons: There’s a famous line in the flick Dumb & Dumber where Jeff Daniels’ character says, “I called her up, she gave me a bunch of crap about me not listening to her, or something, I don’t know, I wasn’t really paying attention.” Can’t we all relate to that? “Not listening to each other is a huge problem for many couples,” explains Gray. “They’re so busy defending their point of view that they forget to resolve the issue at hand.” Writing your thoughts in a letter, talking through problems and staying good humored is the key to having an equal relationship. Don’t make mountains out of small issues; it takes a confident person to accept other people’s opinions.

4. Forgetting To Live In The Moment

Your Story: “Justin and I had been going out for five years and, during that time, we bought two properties. I was working ridiculous hours to earn enough to pay my half and this led to us not eating during or doing anything together. I was working so hard to sustain our future I forgot to live in the now. After we broke up, I traveled overseas and it was exactly what I needed – to live in the moment and be happy.” – Alana, 26

Love lessons: “If you ask a troubled couple what’s missing from their relationship, they’ll say quality time,” says Gray. “Most people sacrifice ‘couple time’ when they should be doing the exact opposite.” Shirley Smith, author of behind Closed Doors: The Truth About Intimate Relationship And How To Create Them, agrees. “Slow yourself down and don’t analyze too often.” We all make mistakes; trick to a love-filled life is putting time into overcoming them.

5. Living In Each Others Pockets 24/7

Your Story: “Grant and I met in high school. He loved music and was a bit of a bad-boy rocker. After a while, he started hanging out with my crowd and started slowly letting go of his old life. He stopped playing music, started dressing like a 40-year-old and even took a job at a finance firm. One day I woke up and wondered, ‘Who is this person?’. He’d lost his uniqueness, which was what I loved. We had a break, he went traveling, and now we’re married!” – Kate, 30

Love Lessons: Spending Every minute with someone is like indulging in rich food – there’s only so much you can have. After a while, your appetite changes and you want something different. “People need space to take time out and recharge their batteries away from other people’s demands,” says Gray. It’s flattering when someone wants to be with you 24/7, but giving your sole attention to anything isn’t healthy. Smith believes that people often mistake intensity with intimacy. “Intensity is when you have great sex and get along really well,” she says. “Intimacy is what good couples have – history, ups and downs and loyalty; it takes years to develop.”