Wonder Women

Why Bother?

2012-02-23T13:57:45-06:00

I'm having a cranky day when I'm wondering why I bother to:

Write what few people read
Clean when it gets messed up again
Buy things that are broken right away
Be kind when I don't get kindness in return
Teach my kids when the lessons seem quickly forgotten
Work toward my goals when almost no one cares what I do

I'm sick and tired, thus I am vulnerable. At these times, I hear the voice of my enemy saying, "Why bother?" He knows well how I depend on encouragement from others. When it isn't there, he knows how to turn my funk into a fiasco. When he is done talking, I want to go back to bed and forsake writing, homemaking, kindness, parenting, and working forever.

But the same question that I asked myself I have to ask my enemy. Why bother? If I were an insignificant woman, why would you spend your time and energy trying to talk me into giving up? Jesus breaks into the discussion.

“Away from me, Satan! For it is written: ‘Worship the Lord your God, and serve him only.’" - Matthew 4:10

We bother because we are serving the Lord. He reads every word we write and He sees us cleaning, returning kindness for evil, teaching the resistant learner, and achieving His purposes for us. He likes it all.

So why do we bother listening to any voice but His?

How to Keep Up With Your Blog Reading

2012-02-22T07:00:58-06:00

If you love to read blogs like I do, you have probably subscribed to a lot of them. I have my family's and friends' blogs in my Google reader as well as blogs in areas of interest to me. Subscribing is easy; reading them all is hard! But I've found a solution that works for me. Maybe it will work for you, too, regardless of which reader you use.

Purge all blog posts from your reader. Yep, you read that right. The only reason I wouldn't suggest you do this is if you haven't subscribed to many blogs and you're keeping up with what you have. But if that's the case, why are you reading this post? Start fresh. I know some of those posts may be life-changing, but be strong and click "mark all as read."
Set up folders based on day of the week, subject, or both. You can keep up with your blog reading by dividing and conquering. Using your reader, create folders labeled for days of the week that you know you have time to read. If Mondays are never a good day to read, don't create a Monday folder. Alternately, you can simply create subject folders that you will then assign to days of the week. I suggest using subjects that correspond to the first letter of the week day to help you remember (Money - Monday; Teaching - Tuesday; Food - Friday). That way you don't have to include the day in the folder label. I use both day folders and subject folders because sometimes I have a hankering to read more on a given subject, even if it's not the day for it. I'm like that.
Assign each blog to a day and/or subject folder(s). I assign most of my family and closest friends' blogs to every day folder. Why? Because then I won't feel guilty when they ask, "Did you see my post on...?" Ree Drummond will never ask me that so I don't assign Pioneer Woman to every day. Her food blog posts get assigned to Recipes and to Wednesday which is when I do my meal planning. Not sure a blog is for you? I assign those to a Try It folder.
Schedule a time to read your daily blog folder. If you don't think about when you can and will read, you just won't. Of course, if you've decided that this is all too much bother, and you don't want to read blog posts, I've just done you a favor. Unsubscribe from blogs and do something more productive, like pin pictures to Pinterest. If you do want to read, then make a habit of it. The best time for me is at lunch on my iPad. I love Flipboard.

If you haven't added Wonder Women to your reader, I'd be honored if you did! Do you have any other suggestions for keeping up with blogs?

How to Have a Personal Relationship with Jesus

2012-02-13T07:00:07-06:00

I remember my missionary sister-in-law talking about having a personal relationship with Jesus soon after I met her. I didn't really know what she meant.

I believed in Jesus. I heard about him in church. I'd read a little about him in the Bible. Certainly, I'd prayed in His name. Was that a personal relationship? I didn't know.

Now I do. Having a personal relationship with Jesus is not much different than having a personal relationship with someone else. Do you have a personal relationship with me? Many of you do. But if you only believe that I exist, you've only heard about me, you've read a little of my words, or you've used my name in conversation, that isn't a personal relationship.

If you want a personal relationship with me or with Jesus, the first step is the same: talk! Jesus isn't a celebrity surrounded by body guards, too busy to talk with you (thankfully, neither am I!). I remember the thrill of getting a response to an email or letter I've sent to someone famous. While we can't be sure of getting an answer from a celebrity, we can be sure that Jesus will answer us when we communicate with Him.

The second step in establishing a personal relationship with Jesus is to listen. While Jesus doesn't have a Facebook page, a YouTube account, or an email address, He does have a great way of communicating with us. He wrote a best selling book that tells us how He feels about us, His tips for living our best life, and His plans for our future.

Talk to Jesus in prayer and listen to Him by reading the Bible and you will have a personal relationship with Him. That relationship, unlike going through the motions of going to church or trying to look good on the outside, is what can change your life! If having a personal relationship with me can help you have a personal relationship with Him, let me know. I am glad to pray for you, point you in the right direction, or respond to your comments.

How to Get Published in Magazines

2012-01-16T07:00:00-06:00

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I was recently asked how I was able to write for Woman's Day magazine and thought many would-be writers might have the same question.

While I've always been a writer, once I was in the midst of diaper changes and a very part-time clinical practice, I didn't think my dreams of being published could be fulfilled. While I am far from being a full-time freelance writer, I have enjoyed seeing my work in print and have even enjoyed getting paid to do something I love.

I'm not going to give you the standard advice about perusing The Writer's Market guide or the The Christian Writer's Market guide and then sending off good query letters. I'm not going to do that because that isn't how I was published. That certainly isn't to say that it's a pointless approach; it isn't. It just so happens that I spent hours fantasizing about which periodicals and publishing houses I would send my work to, but never did. I understand from other writers that pursuing publication in this way can be both rewarding (a presenter at a writer's conference I attended was making over $100,00 a year as a freelancer) and frustrating (with long wait times and lots of rejection).

I'm going to tell you the atypical way I was able to get published because I believe it can work for you, too.

Let People Know You Want to Write. In my first job as a psychologist, I made sure to let our clinic supervisor know that if there were writing or speaking opportunities, I wanted them. Tell your pastor, workplace, organization, or municipality that you'd be glad to write for their newsletters, blogs, and more. I'm not talking about knocking yourself out to put "writer" on LinkedIn or marketing yourself aggressively. Simply mention it!

Write What You Know. We often try to write what we think will sell, rather than what we know. To get published, start by writing the information others ask you for. Because I was a psychologist, I was often asked for information on a host of relationship and mental health issues. My church was the first to ask me to write for them. Without any action on my part, a parachurch organization asked me to write an article for its family newsletter. Are people asking you how you make delicious homemade bread, stay so fit, or organize big events? Write about it.

Give it Away. I wasn't paid anything for my work for quite some time. Honestly, seeing my published work was payment enough! Share your writing with others for free and let it be reprinted without charge. Early on, you want as many people to have your name in front of them as possible. The combination of these three steps led to my being hired to write booklets for another parachurch ministry. I was well paid and rewarded by seeing my work in our pastor friend's office in another state.

Write in Love. The reason I was able to write for Woman's Day, a magazine with a circulation of 6 million at the time, was because I responded to a request for nominations of women who make a difference in their community. My nominee was selected as a winner and I was invited to New York to meet the editors of the magazine as well as the First Lady who would be giving the award. My friend, Deb, was able to write for Woman's Day after responding to their online request for bloggers on The Happiness Project--an idea she loved. She also responded to a request for bloggers by her favorite store and is now a regular HomeGoods contributor. Respond to and write about people and organizations you love and you may end up published, too!

Pray for Publication. If the Lord wants you to be published, He will make a way. When I learned I would be meeting with the editors of Woman's Day, I prayed about a topic idea. Immediately, I thought of FLYLady (the online organizing system I was using at the time), but she hadn't responded to an email I'd sent her. I prayed about it and that day, Marla Cilley emailed me back. I was able to pitch the idea to an editor and received a rewarding contract several weeks later.

I believe publication is possible for any aspiring writer no matter the competition, the changing nature of periodicals, or the writer's season of life. Do you have other suggestions for aspiring freelancers?

Sleepover Shy

2012-01-14T19:37:18-06:00

My daughter had her first sleepover birthday party last night. I didn't make this cake, but I wish I had. How cute is this?

While we didn't have cake, we did have one girl who struggled. As I lay awake after returning her to her mother in the middle of the night, I thought about how Christians are sleepover shy, too.

I'm hungry. That was one of the shy girl's complaints that I can relate to. Though she had a healthy-sized bowl of popcorn late in the evening, she longed for more. Like her, I've enjoyed so much in life, yet I'm not fully satisfied. No matter how many blessings we experience in this life, we all continue to be hungry.

I'm scared. That was another of her issues with the sleepover. I get that. My house was a dark strange place to her. This world is scary to us as believers, too. The Bible gives us enough "Don't be afraid"s to last us a year, and yet we're still not comfortable with this dark world. Maybe we're not supposed to be.

I wanna go home. The sleepover shy girl missed her mom and dad. Why wouldn't she? There's nothing like being near the one you've always known, the one who loves you unconditionally. While this sleepover we call life can be great fun and we enjoy the people we're with, we wanna go home, too. Our Father is waiting for us with open arms. That image makes the long night a little easier to get through, doesn't it?

Good-night, friend. See you in the morning.

Psalm 4:8
In peace I will lie down and sleep, for you alone, LORD, make me dwell in safety.

What Shouldn't You Have to Do?

2012-01-06T17:18:27-06:00

I recently discovered that I had a list of things I thought I shouldn't have to do. I guess that isn't a life-changing discovery. We all have things we would rather not do. Hopefully, continuing to read this blog post isn't one of yours. What was a life-changing discovery, however, was my list was keeping me from doing the things I most wanted to do. Maybe, just maybe, you have a list that is frustrating your attempts at meaningful change, too.

Since being healed of ulcerative colitis and allergies and having freedom to eat anything, I gained a few pounds. Maybe more than a few. Thankfully my friends and family didn't notice. Or they didn't say anything. They may have been afraid to. I've been having some issues with PMS as I've mentioned.

Anyway, I attempted to return to my ideal weight on numerous occasions during the past two years to no avail. When a good friend recommended I read the Beck Diet book, I finally understood what the problem was. I thought I shouldn't have to change the way I ate in order to lose weight. In the moment I came to that realization, I could imagine Dr. Phil snickering, "And how's that workin' for ya?" Gee, Dr., not very well!

I understood why I had come to have the eat-all-you-want-and-still-lose-weight mentality (something I will explain in a future blog post), but I was honestly horrified that I felt that way. I would certainly mock anyone else who had that belief and yet expected results (at least mentally). The amazing consequence of my realization was that I lost the weight I gained. Fast.

I was delighted with the results of a simple change in thinking, but my success had me thinking even more. What other changes was I unable to make as a result of my "I Shouldn't Have To" List? Here are some other prominent items on my list:

- I shouldn't have to promote my blog or book to get readers
- I shouldn't have to stick to the schedule to get everything done
- I shouldn't have to check my kids' chores for them to get done properly

Here are some other popular I Shouldn't Have To's:

- I shouldn't have to pray/read the Bible/go to church to grow spiritually
- I shouldn't have to get up early to work out/get caught up/have quiet time
- I shouldn't have to give up something to save money or have free time

I could go on, but I shouldn't have to. :-) Hopefully, you get the idea and you are already thinking about what's on your list. Remember that you really don't have to do anything you don't want to do. But neither will you get the results you want.

You don't have to, but I would love to hear what's on your list. Any aha moments?

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Easiest Way to Repair DVDs and CDs

2011-11-16T07:00:00-06:00

I see scratched DVDs and CDs in my sleep. They seem to go together with kids like fraying furniture and cats with claws.

A ruined $20 movie that we've watched numerous times doesn't tie my guts in knots, but an art curriculum that I spent well over $100 on did. The first DVD in the set wouldn't work at all. There were no visible scratches on it and I don't think my kids damaged it for a change. But I didn't know what to do. I'd purchased the curriculum on Ebay and there is no way to buy just one DVD in the set.

So I started researching how to repair scratched DVDs. I read very mixed reviews about sanding machines, and frankly, I couldn't see myself scratching away at the disk with the right amount of pressure either with a machine or manually. When my eyes start crossing in reading the details of a solution to a problem I'm having, I start looking elsewhere.

In this case, I found reports that a simple product called Rain-X might solve my problem. I picked up an inexpensive yellow box of the original formula along with a fuzzless microfiber cloth. I squirted a little onto the cloth, rubbed the defective disk in a circular pattern, and waited until the disk was obviously wet and cloudy with the wax. I waited maybe ten to fifteen minutes until it was dry and then polished the disk. I used a dry part of the cloth and kept rubbing in a circular pattern until the disk was shiny.

I inserted the treated DVD into the player and hallelujah, it worked! A couple of bucks' worth of Rain-X saved me over a hundred dollars. It turns out that Rain-X doesn't actually take the scratches out. It just covers them so that the light isn't scattered when it hits them. Simple, isn't it?

Blessed are those whose transgressions are forgiven, whose sins are covered. (Romans 4:7)

We Can Still Win

2011-11-15T07:00:00-06:00

I'm on a USTA tennis league and have been for the past 2.5 years. There are many aspects of playing that I enjoy, but the one that has been a particular blessing lately is the opportunity to work on my thinking.

You wouldn't think that I would be nervous on the tennis court, being a speaker who's comfortable with any size crowd. But when I first started the league, my anxiety was crippling. The second I thought about losing the point or double faulting, that's exactly what happened.

I've been reading a variety of books on the mental game of tennis, but this one really convinced me that no matter how far behind I am, I can still win. The author gives many examples of pros who just gave up and lost matches that were theirs for the taking and other examples of players who seemed to come back and win against impossible odds. The key to winning? Believing that you can.

A couple of weeks ago, my partner and I handily won the first set of a match, then fell apart in the second, and finally lost the tie break. Yesterday, we seemed to be repeating that disappointing pattern. We won the first set without much trouble, then soon found ourselves down 5-2! If you know anything about tennis, you know that the other team just needed one more game to win the set.

I could see the discouragement and frustration in my partner and I could feel it developing in me. Then I told her, "We're going to pull a David Freese and win this set." She smiled. When either of us made an error from that point forward, I made a point of saying, "That's okay. We can still win." Many times we were in a David Freese, World Series kind of way by being one point away from losing the set (though not the match). I felt the pressure, but refused to give in. Neither did my partner. We came back to win the set and match 7-5.

The truth of Allen Fox's words became very clear to me on the tennis court, but they've become clear to me in life, too. Maybe you're against impossible odds like:

You're getting older and you still haven't met "the one."
You've filled out dozens of job applications and you're still unemployed
You have a hundred pounds or more to lose
You've been trying to conceive for months to no avail
Your house is such a mess that it seems it would take a team months to clean it out
You've been unhappily married for years and nothing you've tried has worked
You have an addiction you just can't beat
You're tens of thousands of dollars in debt
Your loved one is elderly and still hasn't received Christ

While it's true that the right attitude doesn't guarantee victory, I believe it's also true that no matter how far behind you are, you can still win. I could give you examples of people I know personally who've experienced an unexpected victory in these situations. The key? Believe that you can.

Jesus replied, “What is impossible with man is possible with God.” (Luke 18:27)

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Rude is the New 'Tude

2011-11-05T06:00:00-06:00

Have you noticed that people are really rude these days? I have. Some of these behaviors would have been unheard of in my grandmother's day and even in my mother's:

Road rage - honking, cursing, using a crude gesture, or becoming violent, usually because someone commits the crime of being too slow.
Criticism - name calling, fault finding, and character assassination aren't just for politics anymore. Judgement in the true sense of the word. Being condescending and presenting oneself as perfect.
No respect - cursing in any public place, whether children are present or not. Making fun of the elderly and talking over a speaker. Pushing past someone to get ahead in line, to get the sale item, or the last seat. Wearing casual or sexy clothing to formal events or in sacred spaces. Making a mess and expecting someone else to clean it up. Children hitting parents.
No manners - taking calls and texting any time, with anyone, and in any place. Failing to RSVP, or feeling no obligation to attend an event one has said 'yes' to. Demanding an explanation for an invitation not received. Feeling entitled to others' possessions and not sending thank you notes (or even saying 'thank you.'). Not responding to a phone call or email for days. Not leaving a tip. Being late or failing to keep a promise.

Why are people so rude? The easiest way for me to answer that question is to think about my own problem with rude behavior. I won't tell you which of these rude 'tudes I've been guilty of, but there is more than one. I don't know for sure, but I think people are willing to be rude today because:

Rude is cool. Bart Simpson is the poster child for rude behavior. He made rude funny, especially between children and parents. Our most popular media forms are rude and while the media reflects the culture, the culture also reflects its media.
We're stressed. Never before have we had so many opportunities and the choices to go along with them. So you RSVP for a party and then you get a better opportunity or you choose the option that makes you feel less guilty. Or you don't RSVP at all, because you frankly forgot. You're in a hurry, so you honk at the elderly driver in front of you going 15 in a 25. If you don't multitask by talking or texting while doing other things, you'll never get caught up.
We're anonymous. In the busyness of today's world, we can feel like a low-priority item. Criticizing someone, cursing, and wearing something revealing may get us negative attention, but at least it's attention. Some of us need attention because we're hurting. We're depressed, feeling rejected, and lost and the pain comes out in rude behavior. The internet makes it possible to say and do things we would never feel comfortable saying face-to-face.
Lack of training. Boys and girls don't get etiquette training anymore. They're too busy participating in sports and extra-curriculars and playing video games and doing more homework and... Mom and Dad are so busy that teaching manners or even obedience is hard to find time for.
People have been rude to us. The number one trigger to anger is someone being angry with us. The more often we are the victims of rude behavior, the more tempted we will be to be rude in response.

Just because rude is all the rage, we don't have to join in. The Bible is very clear that we are not to return rude for rude, but kindness. Robert Chapman's biography relates the story of this great and humble evangelist being spat upon by a grocer as Robert preached in the public square. When a visiting family member insisted on buying Robert some groceries, he agreed, but asked that his family member buy the items from the spitting grocer. When this rude man learned that Robert Chapman had specifically requested that his purchase be made from him, he cried and asked Robert's forgiveness, later confessing faith in Christ.

Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; ⁵ does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; ⁶ does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; (1 Cor. 13: 4-6)

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Don't Let 'Em Steal Your Joy!

2011-11-04T06:00:00-06:00

Maybe, like me, you have so many reasons to be joyful, but it seems that someone or something seems to run off with this spiritual treasure. What can we do to stop 'em from stealing our joy?

Quit doing business with them. In our local news lately have been reports of home invasions that strike fear in the hearts of neighbors. The fact that the criminals were doing business with the victim makes everyone feel a little bit more at ease. We can feel safer emotionally by choosing not to do business with people who attack us verbally or physically or who only make emotional withdrawals, never deposits.
Claim your right to the joy. Some theft victims are reluctant to press charges because they feel guilty for having so much. We are never to feel guilt for having joy, even if others are depressed. We may not be able to share our joy, but we can share its Source.
Stop stealing from yourself. I've had my share of things stolen, but I've robbed myself of more than any thief has. I haven't taken care of my belongings and they've been misplaced or destroyed. In the same way, we can steal our own joy by not taking care of ourselves. Joy is harder to come by when we don't have optimal sleep, nutrition, or exercise.
Use a security system. Most of the times I've been robbed have been when I've left a car door unlocked or left my valuables in plain sight. We don't have to hide from others to keep our joy, but we do need a security system. God's Word is not only an inexhaustible source of joy, but it's a weapon we can use to ward off the lies the con men use to get access to our treasure. The Bible is the best security system there is, but even it won't be effective if we keep letting the thieves in the door through the media we take in.

Have you found any other ways of keeping your joy, short of gun ownership? ;-)

You suffered along with those in prison and joyfully accepted the confiscation of your property, because you knew that you yourselves had better and lasting possessions. (Hebrews 10:34)

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