Wonderful Happenings...

Ellery's Birth Story.

2012-02-09T10:47:00.000-06:00

This one has been in the works for the past 2 weeks, but every time I sit down to write it, I get distracted by the constant daydream that surrounds this post. The days and hours leading up to a time before our life truly changed, and our experience in the transition of becoming parents.

On our long drive back from Georgia a couple Sundays ago, Justin and I were discussing how we sometimes experience flashes of images from events in our past. They creep up out of nowhere, seemingly random, invading our thoughts and leaving us with the warmest of smiles as we secretly reminisce within the privacy of our minds the wonderful happenings of days gone by.

Lately, my flashes have been consumed with that beautiful November evening, surrounded by love and happiness, we welcomed our sweet Ellery into our family. The images are slightly different each time but each inspires the same multitude of emotions. One of my most visited memories of that night takes place when we were alone in the hospital room, just the three of us, in the wee hours of the morning. The light was softly beaming in through the open blinds, rising up from the well-lit parking lot just below, to give the hospital room a warm glow. It was 2 am, Justin asleep on the couch and the room eerily quiet. I sat there, 4 hours removed from the most intense, yet most amazing experience of my life, holding our newborn, just staring at her flawless face, not wanting to blink in fear of missing part of the magic that now encompassed the entire room. In that moment, everything was perfect.

The image of that moment shows up at the most unexpected times. It is a special reminder of that sweet time in our recent past that I do not want to forget. But I'm fearful that with the hustle and bustle of daily life, setting sleep schedules, and watching Ellie grow, it will slowly fade to a distant memory that will become slightly more vague with each passing day.

That memory is this:

There was a chill in the air that day as I briskly walked into my OB's office for a second appointment that week. I was 41 weeks pregnant and my doctor had scheduled an ultrasound to ensure the babies safety, since I was slightly overdue, and to take her final measurements. Induction was to be discussed, but not supposed to be scheduled until the following week, giving Ellery time to come on her own if she wanted to.

I waited in a crowded waiting area, making small talk with other very pregnant ladies for about an hour before being called in by the ultrasound tech. She was all smiles and super friendly as she rubbed the warm gel on my tummy just seconds before the image of Ellery appeared before us. We had done this a dozen times before, but that day was a little different. I knew I was looking at the same little girl I would be holding in my arms in the very near future.

After taking measurements and making notes here and there, the ultrasound tech asked to be excused for a minute while she spoke with my doctor. This was not part of our normal ultrasound routine. Typically the tech takes a look, prints out pictures, and says everything looks great. When she returned to the room, she handed me a can of Mountain Dew and a bag of peanut M&Ms. I gave her a puzzled look as I asked her if I was allowed to drink that, since I was pregnant after all and hadn't had any caffeine (other than what's in chocolate) since I found out. She chuckled a little at my 'do everything by the books' approach and explained that in the 30 minutes she had been observing my baby, she had not detected any movement, which could indicate a stressful environment and be harmful on Little. The M&Ms and Mountain Dew were to help wake the baby and stimulate movement.

I was moved to another room and asked to lay down and count movements. When I counted ten I was to call for a nurse. Thirty more minutes passed and a nurse came to check on me. She asked if I finished the snacks the ultrasound tech had given me and what the count was up to. I had in fact scarfed down the M&Ms, because I was not going to argue when eating chocolate was the best thing for my baby! But I just couldn't force myself to pump that much caffeine into my pregnant body, after 9 months of being strictly against it, so I forwent the Mountain Dew. The any-movement-at-all count was up to 2.

The doctor was called in, and my options were laid out in front of me. Everyone knew I was not an advocate for induction, and I wanted to avoid it at all costs, but if my precious little girl could potentially be put in harms way by waiting a few more days, then I would consider it. After a few tears and a very long discussion with my doctor (who really is an angel), she made the executive decision, and instructed me to call my husband and tell him I was headed to the hospital to have a baby.

Shaking, I picked up the phone and dialed his number. When he answered there was no small talk whatsoever. In a hushed tone I told him, 'I think you should come home. The doctor says I'm having the baby today.' He was about an hour away in Louisiana and would be home around one o' clock. So, freaking out a bit, I called one of our friends, Kristin, who promptly took off work, met me at my house to help calm me down and pack a hospital bag. I had skipped breakfast because I was running late, so she fixed me chicken noodle soup.

When Justin got home, Kristin headed back to work, and we headed to the hospital. We checked in on the Labor and Delivery floor and were promptly settled me into a room. When Justin and I were alone in the room where I was going to have our daughter, I lost it. Every feeling imaginable was running through me. Were we ready to have a baby? How was my body going to react to induction? What happened to having one last weekend as just the two of us? As the tears fell, Justin held me close, reminding me that I didn't have to do anything I wasn't comfortable with. I didn't have to be induced if I didn't want to be, the baby was healthy, and that we were going be great as a family of three.

Before I knew it the tears had stopped, I was in bed, hospital gown on, and several tubes running from my hands to the beeping machines in the corner of the room. It was really happening. It was now 2pm. The nurses came in and started the pitocin drip and the contractions started shortly thereafter. I was already 100% effaced and 3 cm dilated when I checked in, but I braced myself for the possibility of laboring all through the night.

After about an hour of hard contractions coming every minute and lasting for thirty seconds or so, the nurse came in a checked my dilation. I realize now that I made the mistake of telling the nursing staff that I wanted to wait until I was at least 5 cm dilated before considering an epidural. The mistake was not because I needed it before, but because this made the nurses think they should check my progression more frequently than they probably should have. They also thought I was crazy for not accepting it right away, and still offered the epidural any chance they got. So, I tried to fake it and act as if I wasn't uncomfortable anytime a nurse came around, which I'm quite sure I wasn't fooling anyone.

Dear husband helped me through the contractions like a champ. He seemed about as exhausted as I was as he let me wrap my arms tight around his neck and rock back and forth until the contraction ended. He whispered words of encouragement through his tiredness and just smiled as each one passed. When I felt I couldn't remember anything I'd learned from my hypnobirthing books and relaxation techniques, he called his sister, Emily, for breathing tips and advice!

My doctor, who was not on call but wanted to be there for the delivery anyway, came in around 4pm and broke my water and determined I was at 4 cms. While she was in the room the nurses asked if I would like an epidural yet. The doctor looked from her to me and said, 'I thought you were going to try this without one.' I nodded and she promptly asked the nurse to not ask me again and stated I would let them know when I was ready.

I continued to labor for a couple more hours before anyone checked in on me. This time it was a team of nurses around 6pm. They asked if I would like to be checked one more time before the anesthesiologist went into a c-section and wouldn't be available for at least an hour. After slight hesitation I allowed it. I was now at 6 cm and pretty tired. The anesthesiologist came in around 30 minutes later. Holding completely still while hard contractions rushed through my entire body was exhausting. The epidural created a tingling sensation in my toes first and proceeded to expand upward. Soon I was unable to move anything below my chest, which I found a bit disturbing.

After that, time moved at an incredible rate. My labor was moving pretty quickly and I was progressing a little more than a centimeter per hour. The next time the nurse came in was about 8:45pm. I was now at 9 cm. They were going to give me 45 more minutes and would come in again. Next time they checked I was fully dilated to 10 and I felt the urge to push at 9:40pm. After the epidural was inserted, I did not push the button for more to be released, so at this time much of the anesthesia had worn off.

I felt invigorated. I felt powerful. I was doing what my body was created to do. Fifteen minutes of pushing and a couple of 'I can't do it' 's later, this disgustingly beautiful little baby, still covered in slim and blood made her way into that room and melted our hearts.

I didn't cry. I was too overwhelmed with every single emotion for my body to be prompted to form tears. Instead, I focused on my sweet husband who couldn't stop smiling. Grinning from ear to ear, overcome with emotion himself, sheer happiness filled the room and created a sense of calm. We had a daughter. She was perfect, all 7lbs 10 oz of her. We made this little creature that was now being measured, weighed, poked and prodded. She was beautiful.

Our friends had been waiting outside for about an hour when the nurses allowed for visitors. Justin bolted out the door to tell the news, and the lullaby chimed over the intercom signifying a baby was born. We all laughed and celebrated and commented on the cone-shape of her head. There was so much joy, so much love. I truly have a fond memory of the birthing process. I do not remember pain, only intensity, and the love that surrounded every moment.

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Over the past year, I have become intrigued by birth and the birthing process. I have also become an advocate for researching typical medical protocol, epidurals, and inductions, as well as knowing my rights as a laboring woman to help form the best birth plan for me and my family. Every decision I made had a purpose. My mission was to avoid a c-section at all cost while providing a calm and stress-free environment for Little to enter, even if that meant laboring longer or feeling those powerful contractions. Thankfully my body was ready for labor and I had a positive induction experience. Knowing the facts, both the good and the bad about induction and epidurals is important when making the best birthing decisions for you. Every woman is different and desires different things. Some want a c-section. Some want to feel nothing at all. While others want to experience every tightening of every muscle as their little one enters the world. It is such a personal decision and no woman should be judged on how they decide to bring their baby into this big, wonderful world. Just be knowledgeable and informed so you can make the best decision for you.

These are some of the articles I used while making my decisions:

Labor Side Effects to an Epidural
CIMS Induction Fact Sheet
The Rights of Childbearing Women

I believe in preparing mentally and physically for the stages of labor. Every woman is different and has her own unique birthing expectation, therefore she should create the birthing plan that is right for her.

Talk Time with Ellery.

2012-01-30T19:53:00.000-06:00

Poor Vaccinated Baby.

2012-01-17T16:57:00.000-06:00

Friday was not a fun day in the Tyson household.

It started off relatively pleasant with the baby waking for the first time around 5:30am after being put to bed about 9:30 pm (a big accomplishment that just started this week) and with smiles that warm the heart while changing the overly full morning diaper.

Putting our big girl, ready for the day, pretty clothes on went pretty smoothly as well. The ride, the two hour waiting room visit, and even her examination by the pediatrician went wonderfully. No crying, not even a frown.

The nurse held her, said she was beautiful, and carefully placed her on the scale to gather an accurate weight. Thirteen pounds. The weight that rivals most 4 month-ers - reminder, she's only two months! Even that was positive, it meant she's healthy.

And then.

The nurse walked out of the room for a brief second and returned with a needle and a squeeze tube. It was time for her first shots. She told me to lean in close and talk in my little naked baby's ear. While I was doing that, telling Ellery how beautiful she was, how it was going to be over soon, and that in the end she'd have a really cool cartoon character band-aid, Ellery let out a violent, heartbreaking scream.

She cried.

I cried.

And the nurse politely smiled and recommended I give Ellie some Tylenol when we get home.

As soon as the needle was out of her little leg, I swooped in, like the protective mother I am becoming, and snuggled her close as she nuzzled up close to my neck. She calmed down, but we didn't rush putting her clothes back on, and I took a moment to steal a few more hugs and kisses from my hurting baby.

She spent the rest of the day alternating fussing and sleeping. Not the Little we have gotten used to. It was hard to watch our poor, pathetic baby not feel good.

Needless to say, not many chores got accomplished that day. All that was on the agenda was to love on my Ellie.

Becoming.

2012-01-12T23:30:00.001-06:00

Children and mothers never truly part, bound in the beating of each other's heart.

- Charlotte Gray

I am blessed beyond measure to be a mom. It is essentially impossible to describe how every ounce of my being has transformed into something so maternal and so magical all in such a short amount of time. This experience, being completely depended upon, being needed so intimately, is more rewarding, more humbling, and more humanizing than anyone who hasn't experienced it, can possibly imagine. The emotion that surrounds my inner most soul can hardly be condensed into a single word, and the only one that seems fractionally relevant to what I am feeling is 'love,' but even that seems far too inferior.

As life with an infant gets easier by the minute, I can see why people look back at this time and suddenly want to do it all over again. Yes, babies are time consuming. They require you to set aside yourself and focus solely on them for this brief moment in time. They are hard work, but would it be as fun if they weren't? With every new development, as a mother, a sense of pride surrounds you, captivates you, and makes you feel like, "well, hey, maybe I will eventually get the hang of this parenting thing!"

As my Little sits propped up beside me, blowing bubbles and staring intently at her moving little feet, I am mesmerized by every inch of her body. Her movements are choppy, she is so needy, yet her strength amazes me. Her soft skin and powerful eyes remind me of her innocence. She is canvas waiting to be painted. Her future, morals, and self-confidence will be shaped by the messages we provide to her in childhood. It's a scary concept; the foundation for the rest of her life begins with us.

Mommy-ing is not for the weak at heart. It takes courage and patience beyond measure. In the beginning, all of the sleepless nights accompanied by an aching body leave you craving just a few moments alone. Your desire becomes a moment of eye closing rest where you aren't required to care for anyone but yourself, until your eyes actually close and all you see is her. Her face. Her body. Her eyes sparkling with excitement. Your heart overtakes your pain and reminds you of the love you hold in your heart for this precious being. Everything is suddenly worth it. That's becoming a mommy. Sacrificing constantly, and loving every minute of it.

Letter to 2 Month Little.

2012-01-11T15:35:00.003-06:00

Sweet Ellery,

Today marks the 2 month anniversary of the day our lives got a little bit sweeter. It was such a special moment, I continue to feel as if it was just yesterday that my body did something so incredible, and God blessed us with a beautiful you.

In these two months, we've been getting adjusted, little by little, day by day. Your little soul melts our hearts to the point that we can not imagine life without you. You are a part of us, a part of our little family, and we wouldn't have it any other way.

You surprise us daily with the beginnings of your personality. You're becoming more alert by the minute and are in the early stages of interacting with us. We are enjoying watching you grow into something so amazing.

Your belly and thighs are on the fast track to breaking some kind of record! You, dear Ellie, are growing by leaps and bounds and getting cuter by the day.

We are excited to see what 2012 has in store for our young family and to watch you grow each new day. We will make many memories with you in the forefront and probably make a few mistakes, too.

We're learning along with you, kiddo.

And falling more in love with you each day.

We've enjoyed these past two months and know we will enjoy the times to come.

We love you, Squirt.

With all of our hearts.

Love upon love,

Mommy

2012-01-10T16:48:00.000-06:00

Just in the past week, EK has really started noticing her surroundings and entertaining herself with her toys. First it was the self rocking, and now, this lovely play gym that came in the mail yesterday from her Grandma and Granddaddy Parrott. She is completely entranced by the bright colors and swinging objects overhead and is also starting to discover that her hands can make a fantastic rattle noise.

She occasionally looks in the plastic mirror which hangs on the side of one of the poles, and gives her distorted image a cute little grin. I guess vanity can start at any age, even 2 months.

Speaking of those upturned lips, we have yet to capture a really good one on camera, but she is beginning to show us her gummy grin more and more frequently now - which melts the heart every time.

As a side note from the "look what she's doing now" post, I promise, we do cover that Ellie belly from time to time, even though the last two blog posts seem to prove otherwise. She's been wearing her adorable outfits that many of you gave us, :), but she seems to prefer nakey time the most, so I give her about an hour of happy-naked-body time a day.

We go to the pediatrician on Friday, which will be her 2 month check up. I'm anxious to see what she weighs in at...she's growing, incredibly fast. :)

2012-01-08T19:54:00.000-06:00

So, we are well aware that we could be the only people extremely amused by Ellie's new self-entertaining methods, but thought we'd share anyway.

We knew from the get go that we'd be those people... the ones that brag on their kid's ability to rock their own rocking chair. Yes, we're officially parents.

Growth Spurts...

2012-01-05T09:05:00.001-06:00

Make us both feel like this:

Nursing on demand is exhausting, especially when your house needs to be cleaned, laundry is piled up to the ceiling, and dinner needs to be made. In the last 24 hours, all E-K has wanted to do is nurse. Previously, Little was spacing her feedings out between 2.5 and 3 hours, but yesterday started every thirty minutes to an hour. This problem arose because my body was producing just enough milk for her little needs prior to the growth spurt, but as she hits 8 weeks and growing, she is suddenly demanding more than I am currently providing.

Yikes!

Hopefully this will pass soon and my body will catch up...

We're home from the holidays.

2012-01-04T08:36:00.000-06:00

Over the past two weeks, Ellery and I were blessed to spend a great amount of time visiting with our loving families, mainly the grandparents. We drove 11 hours, just us girls on the Saturday before Christmas Eve, to land in North Augusta to stay with a darling friend for the night, before heading the rest of the way home the following morning. Ellery was a champ when it came to riding in the car. She cried twice for all of 30 seconds and was an angel thereafter.

I've got to admit, the days leading up to my departure from McComb, I was a bit terrified of how a young 5 week old would do on such a long drive, but with answered prayers, things couldn't have gone better!

Ellie loved on her grandparents and let them love on her too. :) Now my task this week is to teach Little Bean that it is okay to lay on the floor sometimes...

Grandma and Granddaddy Parrott.

Momo ...

and Grandpa Tyson.

It was hard to leave, but it is also good to be home again!

2011-12-24T00:00:00.001-06:00

Merry Christmas.

From our house to yours!

Letter to Little.

2011-12-14T12:31:00.001-06:00

Dear Ellery,

It's amazing. You're amazing, really. Earlier this year, when we found out about you, you looked something like this:

An image of a little mouse growing inside of me. That was you, back in early March.

Now look at you:

A month old!

You have grown so much since we first held you in our arms. With your triple chin covering your neck and fat rolls beginning to make their mark on your belly, Buddha Baby has become one of the many nicknames we've been calling you.

At 4 weeks, newborn clothes and diapers no longer fit. And all of the people who say, "They grow up so fast," well, I'm discovering that they're absolutely right!

You are getting more alert everyday, beginning to make eye contact and really focusing in on us, especially when we're singing. You do not like silence. You're calm as long as there is a lot of commotion going on around you, but if you're in a quiet room - you let us know quickly that you disapprove.

You've already got quite a bond with your daddy, young lady. I could sing to you all day long and it wouldn't calm your cranky cries, but as soon as he begins to hum a tune, you immediately quiet and focus all of your attention, so intently, on his mouth as to not miss a note.

We're absolutely smitten with you and love you dearly!

Love upon love,

Mommy

''Fearfully and Wonderfully Made.'' Psalms 139:14

2011-12-10T16:01:00.000-06:00

Baby's exhausted...

They really don't break that easily.

2011-12-06T15:03:00.000-06:00

An ER visit and a few doctors snickering at us later, we've learned this lesson: babies are pretty darn tough, and we're pretty crummy parents...

It started out like this:

On Saturday night Justin and I brought out the Santa hats, put cider on the stove, and took Ellie on her first Christmas tree buying adventure. Since southern Mississippi isn't exactly North Georgia, where Frasier fir tree farms are in abundance, we ended up sorting through the pre-cut and already wrapped trees at Lowe's until we found our perfect-for-a-hardware store Christmas tree.

We made it back home just in time to watch the SEC Championship game across the street, only to swiftly jet back home at the final to decorate and light the tree.

At this point, Ellie sleeps, a lot! So, as we were getting the tree in the tree stand, ornaments unwrapped, and putting the finger foods out on the counter - we placed our sleeping Ellie in her Boppy on the couch. (Parental mistake: can you see where this is going?) As we walked out of the living room, we barely made it to the middle of the dining room before Justin and I had locked eyes and were running back into the living room in a panicked motion. After a loud thump and a sudden burst of little bitty lungs coming alive with a deafing wail, we immediately knew what had just happened.

She looked so pathetic. So scared. With a big red rash on her forehead, above her right eye, where she had landed when she rolled off the couch. Her uncontrollable cries scared me beyond words. A cry I had definitely never heard before. Scared of everything that might happen because of a head injury at 3 weeks old- through my tears, I frantically asked Justin if we should take her to the hospital. Being the supportive husband to a crazy wife, he said we could do whatever would make me feel better.

We rushed to the ER, and while we were explaining what happened over the loud cries coming from the infant carrier as we checked in, I swear several of the nurses were holding back their snickers as they reassured us that babies don't break that easily. No one seemed worried. We were called back quickly, since the waiting room was empty. When the pediatrician came in he explained to us that the soft spot on the top of her head keeps her safe in case of falls and accidents - it acts like a pressure release valve in case the brain actually swells. They sent us home with a list of symptoms to watch out for: abnormal pupil dilation, vomiting, loss of appetite. None of which happened.

Everything turned out fine. She's back to her normal hunger and gassiness cries instead of the my-parents-really-need-to-not-take-the manufacturers-instructions-so-lightly cries. From that moment on, she only lays on the floor or in her crib when we are not sitting beside her. Lessons learned from a first time mom.

Love.

2011-12-03T10:06:00.000-06:00

Yesterday marked three weeks of opening our home and hearts wider than we thought imaginable to a beautiful little girl. It is hard to believe that three weeks have come and gone so quickly and how fast we are adjusting to our new role as parents.

Looking back at my pregnancy blog posts, a time when sleep was uninterrupted by a hungry or gassy Little in the opposite room, or a time when I couldn't steal snuggles from a sleeping and very cuddly baby on demand, I had a image in my head that plagued every ounce of my imagination, of how life was going to be with our precious new life. We have been extraordinarily blessed, and we recognize that with every breath we breathe, but if we're speaking honestly, life with a newborn is much harder than most people care to disclose. As captured as our hearts are by our little Ellery, we are exhausted from lack of sleep and sometimes feel helpless when we can't automatically stop her uncontrollable cries.

Our life is different. We're not the same people as we were just a month ago. Our schedule revolves around feeding times. Our focus is on satisfying our daughter. We are parents. We feel helpless at times, but most importantly we love, every minute, every step of the way. Love surrounds us. Love comforts us. Love reminds us of how blessed we are, even in the toughest times. The love of family, the love of a spouse, and the unconditional love we hold in our hearts for the little girl that now shares our last name, gets us through the sleepless nights and other difficulties that parenthood brings.

Daddy's gone back to work...

2011-11-28T13:18:00.000-06:00

And we miss him!

2011-11-26T15:18:00.002-06:00

This Sunday will mark the end of a very busy two weeks for our new family of three. In some ways, it has flown by, but at times we have never felt more exhausted. Last Friday, my Dad, my Aunt Jean, and my brother Ben flew in to join my Mom for a weekend visit. We really enjoyed their company - and for Dad and Ben, it was their first trip out to McComb - but they had precious little time to steal snuggles and kisses from Ellery before their long drive back last Sunday.

Last Saturday night, Justin's family started trickling in as well for the Thanksgiving holiday. His sister Emily and brother-in-law Eric arrived first with their two girls, Gabriela and Lilian. His brothers Nathan and Travis, sister-in-law Brii, and their daughter Avalee weren't far behind. Finally, his Grandma and Granddad and Dad came to complete the family gathering. It was a big occasion for us; Justin's family has been celebrating Thanksgiving at either his great-grandmother or grandmother's home in Perry, Georgia for many decades without interruption. Ellery must be something special to move the celebration two states away, if only for one year! Justin's grandma and sister Emily tag-teamed on Thanksgiving dinner, and we had a feast - all of it completely homemade and completely delicious!

We've been enjoying our family, but resting and relaxing have been in short supply this week. As our families begin to leave and our house gets slightly emptier each day, we are thankful for their willingness and help, but look forward to a house to ourselves for a little while, as we continue to get adjusted.

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Ellery went in for her 2 week check-up with the pediatrician yesterday, and everything is looking great. She's now weighing in at 8 lbs 3 oz, which is up 17 oz from just 9 days ago (she was 7 lbs 2 oz at her 5 day check-up). She's visibly growing everyday, and her legs and face are chunkin' up rather nicely.

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There's just something about babies. How they mesmerize everyone in the room, from the youngest to the oldest, everyone stands in awe of the wonderful miracle that has entered a family. With every whimper and facial expression, hearts melt and eyes brighten with so much love. It's amazing - this love that comes on so suddenly and so intensely that your heart stops and is filled with indescribable joy. This is how we feel about our daughter, our little love, our miracle that keeps us up at night. ;)

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The love of a family is a precious thing.

Getting Adjusted...

2011-11-15T21:30:00.000-06:00

We left the hospital around noon on Sunday and arrived home to find that my mom had cooked a big lunch - a much-appreciated welcome after two days of hospital meals and fast food. The first two nights have been relatively easy, thanks to Mom stepping in and helping. She sleeps in the same room with Ellery and tries to calm her when she gets restless, only waking me when she needs to nurse. Hopefully by the time she heads back to Georgetown, I will be caught up on all the sleep that I missed in the hospital! We are enjoying our cuddle time and the itty-bittyness of our precious daughter. There is still a lot to get used to with feeding times and deciphering Ellie's cries and whines, but we are ready and excited about this adventure.

Introducing Ellery Kate!

2011-11-13T07:02:00.000-06:00

A little bundle of joy weighing 7 lbs 10 oz and measuring 21 inches long joined our family on Friday, November 11, at 9:55 PM. Ellery Kate and I are both healthy.

Pregnancy: 39/40 weeks.

2011-11-11T08:19:00.001-06:00

Behold the belly...

Lack of inspiration has hit. My anxious soul has found a place that words can't describe. I never thought it would be this hard - waiting. You'd think I've waited 9 months, I could wait another week or two without much harm. But it is so difficult knowing that this young lady is baked and ready to come, she just hasn't decided she's ready to meet us yet. Come on, Little!

Justin and I have been cheering her on, chanting her name, and trying desperately to convince her that it is time for her to make her grand appearance. Everyone is getting anxious. My mom's car has been packed for weeks, ready to hit the road as soon as she she gets the call. Neighbors are scoping out our house and noticing little changes - (such as our lights being on past 10:00 pm, which is very unusual). I'm getting daily texts and phone calls from church members and friends to see if anything has changed or if we've had 'the baby' yet. All of this has been wonderful and I am so happy that others are sharing in our excitement, but it does, kind of, make me feel as if I'm letting all of them down by still being pregnant.

This whole pregnancy I have been going by the due date my OB in Augusta gave me, which was revised considering Little has been measuring a week behind in every ultrasound. That date was Nov. 15th. We haven't made it there yet. But, my OB here in McComb has has still been calculating it as Nov. 8th - which has come and gone and left me far too anxious to meet this little one than words can describe.

We were hoping Little would come on Justin's birthday, November 7th. We did everything practical to make that happen, but we failed and she's still cooking. Sunday we went for an hour walk around the neighborhood (which is a 30 minute increase in the time I walk everyday) - and at my doctor's appointment on Tuesday I was still the same as I was 3 weeks ago. 3 cm dilated, 50% effaced. Needless to say, I left very discouraged. My OB swept my membranes, in hopes of enticing labor to start, but nothing happened other than horrible cramps.

I have another appointment today to discuss options and to have a final ultrasound to check final measurements. My doctor doesn't like her patients to go past 41 weeks, so induction will be on the tongue today. An option I really hope not to have to accept.

In this time we ask for your help in prayer. Please pray as our final days of being a family of two come to an end that we can spend our time enjoying the special nature of the last few moments. Please pray for Little's health and happiness and safety during childbirth. Pray for my mom to have a safe 14 hour drive. And please pray for me.

We'll keep you posted on the progress and events to come! :)

Letter to Little.

2011-11-02T09:50:00.000-05:00

Dear Little,

Time is passing so quickly, it seems as if yesterday was just the start of September. But now the air has cooled, the trees are changing into beautiful beacons of yellows and reds, and November has graced us with its marvelous presence once again. With the arrival of November, my heart starts to flutter, my face brightens with every thought, because I know this month I will have you. A daughter.

The days can not move fast enough, the restless nights last too long. You have been apart of me for the better part of this past year and to know that your beautiful and delicate little body will be wrapped in my arms in just a few short hours/days/weeks, fills me with excitement.

With the anticipation of your arrival and the unpredictable nature of it all, time all of a sudden begins to stand still. With each morning's light gleaming through the semi-cracked blinds, Justin and I share a brief look as if wondering silently, "Is today the day?" As he leaves to go to work he says, "I'll have my phone on me at all times," sparking an eruption of an even greater amount of happiness within my soul - just seeing the love and anticipation written across his handsome face.

Excitement fills our home. We have had fun trying out all of the old wives tales of inducing your arrival. We've eaten a lot of meals lately that maybe had a little too much cayenne pepper in them. We go for long walks. We drink pineapple juice. To our dismay, nothing seems to be changing, but we're keeping busy and enjoying this sweet time.

Your room is now ready for you. There is nothing left for me to piddle with or wash. I often sit in the rocking chair that will soon be our special bonding place and ponder life and how soon everything is going to change.

The house is cleaner than ever. My bag is packed and ready to go. There is nothing left to do to prepare our home for the arrival of you. We are only left with the insuppressible urge to simply hold you in our arms. You will come in your own timing. You will be all we've dreamed of.

Love upon love awaits you here.

A Little Jack-O-Lantern.

2011-10-31T21:57:00.000-05:00

Happy Halloween! ;)

Pregnancy: 37 Weeks

2011-10-28T16:25:00.000-05:00

I have been bad about keeping up with the weekly baby progress. At 37 weeks, 3 days we are now in 'waiting for baby' mode. Justin and I have been walking, walking, walking, eating spicy foods and pineapple, going on weekend hikes, and everything else that is supposed to naturally help soften the cervix and entice dilation.

A little too much information? Sorry.

At this point, getting a good nights sleep is growing exponentially harder, and I am just assuming that this is God's way of preparing me for the nights that are soon to come.

At my last doctor's appointment (on Tuesday) I was 3 cm dilated and 50% effaced. She said I was progressing well and the baby could come from any day to a couple weeks from now. Either way, woah, Little will be here SOON!

The nursery is prepped and ready with all of the stuff that an infant will need for survival (at least I hope so).

My belly is somehow STILL growing, and I waddle - not just a cute, little sway from side to side while I walk, either. I look like a duck.

Besides the lack of sleep and the waddling, this pregnancy has been much easier than I imagined. I am thankful to have been blessed with good health and no swollen ankles or stretchmarks throughout this adventure. As we prepare to meet our little girl in the next little while, my heart is overwhelmed with the blessings that surround me. Justin and I are so amazed that we will soon be using all of our past experiences, our parents examples, and God's word to guide us through the marvelous journey of raising a child. As we grow increasingly anxious and the day of meeting our new family member draws closer, keep us in your prayers. We ask for prayers for Little's health, a safe delivery, and for our future beyond the delivery room - for us to lead a Godly example for our kids, to be loving, kind, patient, and wise.

I feel every emotion imaginable. One moment I feel completely confident and prepared, and the very next second I feel I am way too young to be having a child. Sometimes I feel overly excited and the next I feel more nervous than I have ever felt. They say this is normal, and I suppose it is to be expected. Our lives are changing, but I love the life I live now. How can a little baby change what we have for the better? And some how, I know she will. I know when I see her face, when I hold her in my arms, everything will be right. Our hearts will be filled with more love than we can currently imagine and we will not want to come back to this time before her.

These were just a few of the random thoughts that have been plaguing my mind lately. Sitting on ready, waiting for those first contractions is more difficult that I imagined it'd be. We will meet her when the time is right, and we will find out when that is soon enough.

A Glimpse at Our Week.

2011-10-25T10:37:00.000-05:00

Traveling 13 hours in one day while 36 weeks pregnant is not recommended by most doctors. However, the need to be around family last week took precedence, so we chose to make our way towards Florence on Tuesday morning, while following orders of stopping every hour and a half to keep up the circulation and drinking lots of water.

While our trip was initiated by something so sad, we were able to make the most of it by spending some much needed time with other family members who we haven't seen in several months. I was able to catch up with some of the new happenings in my brother's life (buying a house and all the work that it entails), make a brief trip to Georgetown to spend a little more time with my folks, and then head to Athens to see Mrs. Mona and Mr. Tony.

Since we now live in a state that has only one area that reaches 806 feet in elevation, and that point is clear across the state from us, it is probably understood that we are going through fall withdrawals. We have been spoiled the past couple of years to have been able to spend a great amount of time in the quaint, little mountain town of Clayton, GA (where we still own a house), enjoy apple cider, watch the leaves turn colors, and take in the fresh, crisp air. So while we were in Georgia, we decided we were close enough to spend a day enjoying fall; buying apples, hiking through the colors, and enjoying a little bluegrass.

It is strange to think that this was our last trip home without a baby buckled into a car seat, stroller packed, and bottles pumped.

Georgetown: Broken Bridge

Athens: Lucy and Lucky

Clayton: Black Rock Mountain

Sharing Old Memories, Making New Ones

2011-10-19T21:24:00.000-05:00

Yesterday, Justin and I made the 13-hour drive to Florence, SC to join family and friends in celebrating the life of my grandmother and honoring her memory. When we arrived at Grandma's house this morning after a restful night at a friend's house, all of her old photo albums were pulled out and spread across the dining room table. Friends and relatives gathered around the table to look through the pictures, to share stories and reminisce, and to remember Grandma as the person she was - someone who cherished her family. Eyes grew teary as old memories were revisited. Looking through the photos reminded us how much we have changed over the years, but what was equally remarkable was how little the old homeplace had changed. Justin and I decided to use some of the old photographs to create new memories.

My dad beside Grandma's house with his old Brittany Spaniel

Grandma holding my dad on the front porch nearly 50 years ago - shutters have been added to the window, but the exact same swing still occupies this spot. Little and I in the background make this a four-generation photo!

It is well.

2011-10-17T22:20:00.000-05:00

I know there has been silence on my end of the blog-world lately. Lately, Justin and I have been making the moments count, prioritizing life, and enjoying the time that we have together - as just husband and wife - before our great, new adventure makes her way into the world very, very soon. As this pregnancy draws to a close and we enter the weeks of 'she could be born anytime now', our thoughts are full of prayer for the health and safety of this little girl, for her to be strong and happy and loved ...but this blog post is not intended to be about Little. Its purpose is greater than that.

It is a bit hard for me to write of happiness and excitement and a growing family when, at this very moment, all I feel is sadness. With tears falling on the keyboard and my head pounding from a day full of crying, I replay many years of barbecues on Christmas Eve, of tailgating before and after Carolina football games, of smiling uncontrollably when Carolina beat Alabama, and of many wonderful mountain vacations. All of these sweet memories were spurred this morning, when my phone was on silent and my mom was trying to reach me and my dear husband ran into the house with a face full of sorrow, there to give me the news of my grandmother's passing.

I don't deal with death well. Actually I am terrible at it. I realize my grandma is in a much better place, peaceful, away from the dialysis machines that have plagued her life over the past several months. I realize that she is now free to enjoy and be happy and worry-free. But I still cry - in a selfish, I'm really going to miss her kind of way. I cry that she missed meeting her first great-grand child by just a few weeks (maybe less than that) and I cry for my dad who lost his mom and Mr. Jim who lost his wife. The sweet memories I have of my grandma make losing her so much harder. Knowing that from now on life goes on, we make new memories without her, birthdays and holidays will lack a certain luster.

Although things will be different without her, she left a smile in all of our hearts and we are all better people because of her. If she felt the love of her family it is because she taught us all to love. She taught us to cherish good times and accept each others differences. She truly was a wonderful woman, who looked for the good in everyone and loved with all of her heart.

She will be remembered and loved, always.