Wonderful La Vie

Getting Pregnant Is Not As Easy As 1, 2, 3.....Thanks For Nothing Sex Ed Class!

2020-04-30T14:28:00.000-04:00

This post may get a little vulgar with sexual issues/content (I guess?), so I'm warning you now....

If you're still reading, that means you are OK to talk about something that is rarely talked about....INFERTILITY. Why is it that growing up we were scared straight by our parents about the doom and gloom of SEX! My parents made me feel like I could get pregnant by just looking at a boy! Even sitting next to a boy gave me the heebie jeebies because I didn't want any parts of popping out any babies via the way of breathing the same air as that boy.

Essentially, school and home drilled into us the idea that if you have unprotected sex, then you will instantly get pregnant. Unfortunately, pregnancy is not as easy as society or our families make it seem.

Prior to becoming a wife I could care less about my future, creating a family, and what my future husband might want as far as children go.

Once marriage was on my radar, as with most women, my fertility concerned me. I went to my Gynecologist and took a few tests to make sure everything was good. Upon receiving my results, the doctor saw low levels of something (I wasn't paying attention as the time...don't know the name. Terrible I know!!!). The doctor even mentioned the possibility of PCOS (Polycystic ovary syndrome). I was floored. I had no idea what PCOS was, but when I researched it a bit more, I learned that it prevented some women from getting pregnant EASILY.

Notice the capitalization of EASILY. PCOS is not a death sentence because people are still able to get pregnant, (even with that diagnosis) it'll just be more work. I don't know if I have PCOS 100% because the doctor said she saw signs of it, but I do know that GOD has the final say so about popping out babies. I'll do my "baby dancing" with my husband and shittttt, I'll enjoy it. I will be proactive though and give myself a fighting chance.

I recently purchased a fertility tea from a company called Pink Stork and used it for a month. Reviewers have mentioned or given credit to this tea for getting them pregnant within 1 or 2 months. I'm not saying I expect a tea to get me pregnant *side eye* but it can't hurt. I have also been taking prenatal vitamins to get my body ready for a mini human inside of me and I'm also getting ready to leave the alchohol for a little bit (If you know me, you know this hurts). F*ck! Hopefully *smile* all of those things will encourage one brave sperm soldier to swim on home to mamma's egg.

So ladies.....have you used this tea? Have your heard of this tea? Give me the TEA!!!!!! See what I did there? Hahaha! Any hoodle, I will keep you guys posted!!!!!

I Love My 4C Hair!!!

2019-12-28T22:26:00.000-05:00

Hey blogger familayyyyy! See, told ya I would be back! Haha. Anyways, for those that have been following me for years, you would have known that I last left you guys as being texlaxed. I liked being texlaxed, but I felt like after a while I wasn't getting the look that I was going for. I initially became texlaxed because I wanted my hair to gain some thickness, and it worked in the beginning. I texlaxed every three months like clockwork and it was fairly convenient. During my three month stretches I noticed my curl pattern, and I was so curious about it. I loved how the hair would coil and I loved how much thicker my hair was towards my scalp. I would secretly cut pieces of my hair where I saw my natural curls begin because I was obsessed with seeing how my hair curled up without the texlaxed hair on the ends. When I was relaxed, I rarely wore my real hair out because I felt like it was too thin. I was embarassed at how weak my hair appeared. My hair gained a little more strength when I decided to transition to being texlaxed, but it was still limp when straightened. I talked myself into taking the plunge of going natural.

Ladies, there are two ways of becoming a natural. You could big chop or long term transition to become natural through the use of protective styles. I opted to go natural through the use of protective styles while gradually cutting my hair. I won't lie, the first serious chops I did on my own by using hair sheers that I bought from Walgreens. I felt as if cutting the hair on my own gave me a sense of control and it wasn't as traumatizing. I no longer went to the hair salon once I decided to transition and again, I did this because I wanted control. I stayed away from straightening, I washed my hair weekly, and I gradually cut my more straighter ends off. I used box braids, crochet braids, and buns to transition. I've been transitioning for about two years now and I finally got rid of my texlaxed hair. The pictures currently show where my hair is and I more recently got a professional trim.

Pros of Long Term Transitioning:

You get used to working with your hair and understanding what it loves/hates.

You can wear styles (like flexi rods/perm rods) to blend your different textures.

You have hair to work with for other protective styles such as box braids/crochet braids/bunning with or without a hairpiece (phonypony).

You ease yourself into the idea of becoming natural instead of... (chop-pity chop....ALL GONE!)

You can transition until you get your hair to a length that you are more comfortable with wearing out.

I said all that to say ....I love being natural. People had all kinds of opinions about me going this route. My mom even hinted at my natural hair making me less attractive, but this is MY HAIR. If someone can't love me because of the hair coming out of my scalp then f*ck em. The funny thing is though, as my hair thickened up, my mom began asking for pointers *insert eye roll*

I'll go more into the opinions of others in another post, but ladies love your sh*t. If you don't, then nobody else will. 4A, 4B, 4Q, 4Z.... rock the hell out of your hair and make apologies to not a soul!

Waking up on Christmas Prank

2019-12-25T08:43:00.001-05:00

Keep Calm...I'm Married!!!!

2019-12-25T07:42:00.000-05:00

Hi Blogger!!!!! Excuse me while I blow the dust off of this bad boy. *Inhale followed by a blow*
Wow this is crazy. I last published something on this blog two years ago. I'm sorry. I know, I abandoned you after I let you alllll the way in. I'm an awful person and I get it. Well where we last left off I was going through a breakup and as you can see that's no longer the case. The long relationship I was trying to get over actually turned into a marriage and I'm no longer the bitter Betty that I was in my last post. I've been married for about 5 months now, so it's still pretty fresh. The planning of the wedding was a stressful headache and if any of you are looking for tips...stay tuned.

And to answer the question everyone is dying to ask when they find out you are a newlywed ......NO I'M NOT PREGNANT AND NO WE AREN'T TRYING. Lmao. GIVE ME PEACE!

For real though....married life is cool. It's like a never ending sleep over with your best friend. You can't beat that. My interests are all over the place now. In my hiatus I've picked up photography and gaming as hobbies. When I say gaming I mean SIMS 4....but I digress. I'm learning how to cook, clean, and be domesticated (which is HARD WORK). Living with my mom had me spoiled as hell and I had no idea what it took to make a house a home. It's not easy being a wife. The adjustment of living for someone else and doing things to keep afloat as a unit. Whew! The stress honey! As difficult as it is, I'm so grateful to have found my other half and all of this is worth it. I could write a book at this point in my life, but for now I guess blogger will be my outlet. Lol.

Hope you guys are well and are going through positive changes in your life as well. Sending positive vibes to all my queens! Keep your crowns up! Oh and Merry Christmas!

30 and Single as F*ck

2017-02-25T11:24:00.000-05:00

I'm back and I'm better (in the words of Bryson Tiller). Long time no see blogger family. I've been around. Life has taken its toll, and I've just been tied up. I've gotten a career and I barely have time to relax (it's a gift and a curse). No complaints there, just blessed.

I've hit the milestone of 31, and is it me or do women start freaking out about their love lives when they hit 30?

Well I did and it wasn't pretty. I was dating someone for 4 years, and after ultimatums/threats I had to leave him. He refused to commit to me and wasn't financially able to. I do regret it and it's up there among the hardest things that I've had to do. I was in love and thought I was with the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, but he didn't feel the same way.

As a women I feel like I give so much of myself and for whatever reason I always come up empty handed. I love and I love hard, but all for no reason.

Right now I am over love and all that it has to offer. I am convinced that cat lady will be my title in the next couple of years (maybe dog lady because I hate cats).

As much as I want to bury myself and stay away from the opposite sex, I do find it important to keep trying.

Love got away from me this time, but next time I think I will get it beat.

How many of you have started over after a long relationship? How did you get out of your post breakup funk?

Wearing My Real Hair REGULARLY?!?

2015-07-26T06:02:00.001-04:00

Hey Blogger Family!

I've been sticking to my word and have been consistently wearing my natural hair (minus weaves/hair pieces). It has been fun, but wearing my hair out is both good and bad. I LOVE having the ability to be free and feel the wind blowing through my scalp...lol. The con about wearing my real hair is the frequent manipulation that I have to do on a nightly basis. I obviously don't have natural curls/coils, so oftentimes I have to set my hair at night to get the look that I desire. I'm faking the natural look till I make it! I usually do a twist and curl by using flexi rods on the ends of my hair.

I wash my hair, steam, and deep condition on a weekly basis. The past two weeks I've found myself gravitating towards setting my hair on flexi rods after my wash, but that process is so tedious (ugh!). Down below is how I style my hair once I get sick of the flexi rod set.....

On my youtube channel I actually put up a tutorial on how I did a Mohawk on my texlaxed hair. I LOVED this style, but I still have to tweak a few things. I will leave a link at the end of this post, but my pictures are below.....

Any-who, that was my little update guys. I hope your summer hair is giving you life...lol.

Muahzzzz....Love-Laugh-Live

New York State of Mind

2015-07-11T19:55:00.001-04:00

So this summer I've decided that I wanted to experience as much of my city as I can. As a New York native, I realize that I definitely take the big apple for granted. My goal is to live....seize the day....YOLO...and all of that good stuff. There are plenty of free/affordable things to do around the tri-state area without spending more than bus/train fare.

The other day my boyfriend and I went to Central Park. This park is so relaxing but at the same time very entertaining. There are street performers, rowboating, picnic areas, bike rentals, restaurants, and running paths to get some jogging in. I would definitely recommend taking a date to this park.

My boyfriend and I opted to go rowboating on that particular day, and it was so romantic! I mean one can't help but to be cheesy when your significant other is rowing you around a lake. After our mini adventure we decided to eat a late lunch from a local deli.

I notice that people tend to get so caught up in putting off their happiness. Sometimes we become overly consumed with accomplishing our goals, and we supress happiness because of our unrelenting need to make it to point x, y, z. Unfortunately, when in this state of focus we forget to stop and take a minute for ourselves. Stop and smell the flowers!

I'm skilled at putting off "being happy". I say things such as: If only I had ________ job, I would be happier......or when I have a higher paying job I will go to ________ for fun.

What about now? What about the present? What can I do to be happy now? Am I happy now? Work on finding happiness no matter how close/far you are from reaching your goals. Are you interacting with family? Have you tried to be a more loving individual? Are you taking time out to appreciate what you have at this very moment such as your health, shelter, and family/friends?

I want to live life because tomorrow isn't guaranteed. I may never accomplish all of my goals, but I can be the best friend, sister, cousin, daughter, girlfriend, and human that I can be.

The point of my rambling is basically to say life is made to be lived.

My Drugstore Lipstick Collection For Darkskinned Ladies

2015-07-05T03:24:00.001-04:00

Hey Blog Peeps!

Hope all is well and Happy Belated 4th of July!!! To start July off I decided to post about my (slowly) growing collection of drugstore lipsticks. As a darkskinned girl/dark chocolate girl I always believed that brighter lipsticks were not for me. Whenever I walked past the lipstick aisle I strayed far away from the pink/red/orange lipsticks.

As I ventured into my obsession with youtube makeup videos, I discovered that darkskinned girls can wear bright lipsticks! I now know that I can make any lipstick work. I can't just slap lipsticks onto my lips because lipliners are a must!

Dark Orange/Burnt Orange- Jordana: Matte Frappuccino

I wasn't crazy about this color at first, but with a dark brown liner it is tolerable.

Reddish Nude- Wet N Wild: Mocha-licious

This is my absolute favorite everyday lipstick. A MUST HAVE if you are looking for a nude that isn't frosty white.

Red Wine- Megaslicks: Lady & The Vamp

This lipstick is very moisturizing. It is build-able, very glossy/shiny, and the packaging is super cute. This one I would definitely wear with a liner.

There are some more colors in my YOUTUBE video blogger fam.....head on over to check it out! While you're there, take two seconds and subscribe to my channel (I'll love you forever). I have hair, fashion, makeup, and girl talk videos. Hope to see you there!

https://youtu.be/HBhhW4B3Slc

Goodbye For Now Weaves!!!

2015-07-01T00:02:00.001-04:00

Hi Blogger Family!!!!!

It's been so long, but I promise it was for a good reason this time around. I have finally graduated from grad school, and boy did those last few months of school get the best of me. I'm officially done with school, and you couldn't pay me to go back because I've had enough...lol.

Anywho, now that it is summer time I can finally do things that I find enjoyable. In regards to my hair, it had been put away since April (as you guys saw with my cornrows). I got a second set of braids in May.

I have finally been reunited with my hair this past week, and I'm happy that we are getting reacquainted.

Earlier this week I tried flexi rods for the first time ever. I liked the results that I got, but of course I need some work. The curls were so bouncy, and I'm excited at how much better they will look when my skills improve.

The flexi rod set didn't last to long because I raked through the curls with my fingers instead of letting them fall naturally. :-(

Since my curls fell, I had to find SOMETHING to keep my hair looking presentable because I'm 5 months post texlax/relaxer. Sooooo I created this cool looking updo for the time being. I'm having so much fun jazzing up my real hair. It's so sad at how overly dependent weaves/fake hair makes me. It feels good to embrace what is actually growing out of my scalp.

What are your hair plans for the summer? I think I'll braid my hair back up at the end of the summer, but for now I'm enjoying my hair.

Haiti My Love

2015-04-02T23:58:00.001-04:00

Hi Ya Guys!

Did I mention how much I can't wait till school is over and done with? I probably did..lol. Not only am I excited about graduating, but I can't wait to go to Haiti *fingers crossed*. Nothing is finalized, but I hope I can go back there asap!

I recently went to Haiti after a 17 year hiatus. I was born in America, but I always maintained a strong connection to my Haitian culture (thanks to my parents). I'am proudly Haitian, and in October when I finally went back I understood why.

(Balcony View At Uncle's House)

American television loves to sensationalize the fact that Haiti is the poorest country in the Western Hemisphere, but I'm not sure if that is true. When it comes to finances Haitians may suffer, but don't dare call us poor. They are rich in values, culture, family, and community.

When I was a child my mom used to threaten me by saying she'd send me to live in Haiti if I acted up, so I always looked at Haiti as something negative. I imagined dirt roads, people walking around with no shoes, or even tattered clothing on the natives. I saw none of that in my trip to Haiti. The only major con that I seen with this country is the lack of electricity. I just don't understand how the world has made so many advances, yet Haiti still can't go 24 hours without the electricity going dead. The lack of eletricity wasn't brought on by the earthquake either, its always been an issue. Having a refrigerator in Haiti doesn't even make sense because electricity goes out every single day, so any food purchased would become spoiled.

Besides the electricity being annoying, I loved Haiti. The beach waters were blue and so crystal clear. I did nothing but lay around, eat, tan, and chat it up about life with my momma. I stayed with family members in Port Au Prince, and I guess that area has people who are a little better off. I honestly didnt see people living in tents or sleeping outside. I definitely saw a Haiti that I didn't expect. Maybe other areas looked different, but from what I saw Haiti looks great. I went to Ti Revire, Delmas, and Petion Ville too. Lovvvvvve my country! If you are thinking about Haiti, and are afraid (like I was) just go for it. It is absolutely not what television portrays it to be.

I Definitely rode on this boat. The boat rower only went as far back as the people you see on the right hand side of the picture...lol. This is at Guilou Beach (one of the many beaches I went to).

This is me and a distant family member I met in Ti Reviere. She was adorable and such a character

This is another "beach/waterfall" area. We were actually at L ester in Ti Reviere

Sorry if I butchered any Haitian words/spellings....lol goodness.

I'm Braided Up....Watch Out Now!

2015-03-26T23:52:00.001-04:00

Hey blogger family.

I'm quickly updating you all on this confusing thing that I call life. I don't know if I mentioned this, but I'm a grad student in my last semester of school. I'm so stressed and full of anxiety! The end of grad school is sort of bittersweet. I'm so glad that I'm finally done with my education, but now I have to work a 9-5 for the rest of my life until I die....lmao. Am I being pessimistic much? Uh yeahhh. Seriously though, the end of school means I'm a real adult (and I need to get my life together).

I have a total of 4 papers to do by the end of April.... and I have no idea why I'm blogging. I know why....I'm a chronic procrastinator (is that even a thing?). Any who, in order to have more time on my hands, I decided to get my hair braided up. I wanted a simple hairstyle, so I opted for cornrows. I decided on side cornrows because straight back cornrows look too masculine for my taste. Is that just me? For example, down below...I love Ciara's braids, but I can't imagine wearing that hair style with a puffer coat right now during the winter (I'd look like a boy a little too much). I prefer straight back cornrows in the summer time when my womanly curves are visible. Do you guys agree or am I weird?

My hairbraider wanted to charge me 90 bucks, but I haggled that price right down to 70 where it belonged. I was not going to be the fool paying 90 dollars for cornrows when I can get a full set of box braids in Harlem for 100 (I'm from NYC btw). I'm enjoying this "get up and go" style for now, but I'm super paranoid about my edges ripping out. The braids aren't too tight, but once the hair starts to get fuzzy I'll be applying castor oil religiously along my edges just to be safe.

Are you guys still protective styling now that the winter is winding down?

Is Wearing a Backpack Childish?

2015-03-18T23:30:00.001-04:00

So the other day I decided to invest in a backpack/bookbag. I'm so sick of lugging around a heavy azz purse on my (unusually) tiny forearm. Purses are cool, but I hate having to carry around something that weighs a ton. Why does my purse weigh a ton you ask? Well ....that's because I want to carry the world inside of it (and my poor arm has been suffering).

In my purse you might be able to find textbooks/notebooks, my ipad, a gps (because you never know when that will come in handy), some antacid pills (because my body hates me and has started to self sabotage), comb, brush, lipstick, chapstick, mirror, lotion, etc. I could go on and on trust me. Am I the only one with the compulsive need to carry around all these items? ARE SOME OF THESE ITEMS EVEN NECESSARY?!?! I feel like a hoarder!

Any-who, after complaining about my situation to my boyfriend he suggested a bookbag. I mean it makes sense right? I need something to hold all of these items, but I'm sick of feeling like I'm carrying a 5 pound baby. So I went for it. I decided to head to target and look for a bag that seemed trendy, but very practical. I had an idea of what type of bag I wanted because I did my research on pintrest...cmon you do it too!

Initially I hated the idea of a bookbag because it seems so childish to me, but REJOICE!!! Bookbags are now trending and they're not just for little susie. Ladies we are not simply limited to plastic bookbags or Jansport (urban NewYorkers know about that brand). Look at the wonderful things you can do with backpacks!

It may not be a trend up everyone's alley, but it is an option if you're a hoarder like I'am. What do you guys think? Is it more of a highschool or childish thing that you prefer to leave in the past? Would you wear a backpack?

Bantu Knot To The Rescue!!!

2015-03-12T03:32:00.001-04:00

Hey Gals and possibly some guys...lol. What is up everybody!?!

As a texlaxed lista I find myself having great difficulty with styling my hair. My hair is much coarser than it was when I was fully relaxed. So naturally, I'm always on the hunt for more ways to make my locs more presentable.

With this particular style I was inspired by the natural haired ladies and their lucious puffs. I have about shoulder length hair and getting my hair into a ponytail holder is a task. In order to complete this style you would only need to have the leg part of a stocking (yoou have to cut the leg of the stocking based on how thick your hair is). Ponytail holders give me the struggling ponytail look, which is definitely not what I'm going for since my hair is not straight (and appears shorter than it actually is).

I had about 14 bantu knots in my hair overnight and in the morning I unraveled them.

After unraveling I took the leg of my stocking and maneuvered my hair into a puff. I love this style, and it's pretty cool that I could achieve it with no extensions.

Love it...hope you guys give it a shot.

Throw A Rain Coat On That Bad Boy Asap!

2015-03-12T01:55:00.000-04:00

Hey Guys I Just Wanted To Touch On A Topic That Really Disgusts Me....Cheaters. Like Dead Azz Those People Make Me Sick. My Thing Is If Ur In A Loving Relationship And U Claim To Love Ur Girlfriend/Boyfriend But Screw Everything With A Nana/PeePee Why Not Just Let The Person U "Love" Go. Ask Them For Space Or Keep It 100 By Telling Them U Wanna Be A Straight Up Dog.

Nothing Kills Me More Than The Fake Azzness..I Have To Speak On This Ish That Probably Happens More Than I Know.

So The Other Day I'm Hanging Out With Three Of My Male Friends. Out Of The Blue (I Guess They Feel Comfortable Discussing Their Trifling Azz Ways In Front Of Me) One Of The Guys Starts Running His Ignorant A** Mouth About A Girl He's Messing With. First Off He Tells Us The Girl Is Emotionally Unstable..."One Second (His Words) She Wants To F*ck, The Next Second She Doesn't"....He's Basically Talking To Her B/c He's A Horny Toad....Crazy Thing Is That He Has A G/f Of Two Years.

So Anyways He's Been Talking To This Emotionally Unstable Girl And He Was Explaining To Us All Of Her Actions While He Was Trying To "Hit". We Finally Asked Him If This Girl Was Raped Based On Her Actions....The Dirty Horny Toad Said Yes (But By Her Ex Boyfriend Who Took Sexual Advantage Of Her) So All Three Of Us Are Like U Better Leave That Crazy Girl Alone (Since She Doesn't Know He Has A G/f)...This Is Gonna Blow Up In Ur Face Etc. Then He Tells Us One Time He Went 2 Her House, Left His Condoms Home B/c He Didn't Wanna Hit Since The Girl Kept Giving Him A Hard Time But Slipped Up B/c The Girl Finally Really Wanted Some Badly So He Sexed Her Without A CONDOM....He Said "I'm Not Gay So I Did It". Bad Enough Ur A Disgusting, Cheating Dog But Now Ur Putting Ur Innocent G/f At Risk For An Std....Just Ughhhhhhhhhh. He Doesn't Know This New Girl's Sexual Past At All....Just Effin Nasty!

All Three Guys Were Sitting There Laughing Like The Ish Was Funny And He Was Making The Whole Thing A Joke....Like Possibly Contracting HIV Is Some Type Of Joke...But In My Head I'm Thinking (Thanx..Nasty Asses...This Is Why I Will Never Put Anything Past ANY Man....Not Even My Husband *If I Get Married*). Mind U This Man ( I Don't Even Wanna Call Him A Man), This Boy Claims He Wants To Marry His Girlfriend. This Wasn't Even The First Time He Stepped Out On His Woman And Most Likely It Won't Be The Last. After Talking About The Emotional Girl He Tells Us About Another Chick He's "Working On" But Didn't "Hit" Yet And How He Asked Her If She Ever Wanted To Do Anal With Him (She Said Yes..They've Known Each Other For A Month At The Most)....JUST OMGGGGGGGGGG. Seriously???!!!????

My Thing Is If U Wanna Test Drive Other Cars....Etc. Just Let Ur Girlfriend Go...Tell Her U Want Space B/c That'll Get U More Respect Than Cheating On Her. When U Finally Get Ur Dog Azz Ways Out Of Ur System (If U Guys Are Meant 2 Be) She Will Come Back After Ur "Break"...I Mean Damn....Just SMFH.

P.P.S = Ladies Be careful....Seriously, Wrap It Up.

Black Man

2015-02-25T14:56:00.002-05:00

The creature they look at in such a strange way.
You baffle them, confuse them, take them mentally to another place.

Such strength in your body, love in your soul, passion running through your veins
to accomplish all of your goals.

But they wouldn't know...They're not going to believe that you have dreams because the
painted scenes on the T.V. screens speak reality.

Unfortunately reality screams killers and thieves...Far removed from the likeness of
powerful beings like Martin Luther King.

No, the black men of today are considered a different thing. No longer human beings, your lives have no meaning. Killing one another and shocked when you are murdered by others.

Black man partaking in any old illegal thing just to reach the "American Dream" by any means.
Please black man stop giving therm a reason to shoot. Always keep in mind that they don't pity you.

They never walked in your shoes, they have no clue. They didn't have to work twice as hard as you to get twice as far. Life is hard. Your mouth didn't have a silver spoon, so you know why you do what you do.

But listen up black man, keep thinking about it that way and there will be no hope for our race. Getting money the fast way will be a pointless endeavor if you catch a case.

Feeling Sexy! Rawrrr!

2015-02-22T14:50:00.001-05:00

Alright, as we all know life can get busy. Sometimes with all of life's obligations I find it hard to be a delicate and pretty little flower (eye roll). We should get lost in our femininity sometimes, and be the godesses that we were meant to be....but...this is real life you say? No sweat!

If we take the time to throw on some eyeliner, mascara, and keep our eyebrows neat then that is all there is to it. I often found myself rushing out of the house too tired to be bothered about my appearance, but it matters. The way you carry yourself on a day to day basis is judged, so why not put your best face forward? Ladies if you look good then you will feel good, and that is the honest truth.

When you know you look good, there is a different aura to you that people can't ignore. Your stride is different, your confidence is through the roof, and people are drawn to that (not just in a sexual way). I'll give you an example.

I'm a four eyed dweeb. I've been wearing glasses since I could remember, but I wear them sparingly because I'd discovered contacts. Lol...anyway...My boyfriend bought me the cutest frames, but I'm an avid contact wearer. I wanted my new glasses to be a permanent statement piece, so I went searching all of youtube to find out how I could look better with the use of makeup (while wearing glasses). I always hated glasses and felt like they made me look goofy/unapproachable. So I took my newly acquired knowledge about "makeup for glasses" and put things to the test. I kid you not....I've never gotten this much attention with glasses on. I learned that men are interested in women with glasses. Is the makeup catching their attention....or is it my confidence because of the makeup? I think its a little bit of both (but more because of my confidence).

You see ladies, I'm at ease when I know I've invested time in making myself look good. I'm not saying we need to pile on the makeup to feel good, it's not even about makeup! It's about taking 5 minutes out of your jam packed schedule to make yourself feel good/attractive. For some it might be makeup, for others it might be fixing their hair a certain way, or throwing on regular pants instead of sweat pants. Enhance the beauty that is you and watch how your mood changes. The picture below was me on Valentine's Day. I wasn't in anything that I consider to be a "freakum dress", but I still felt sexy because I did take time out to flatiron my hair and beat my face. Taking that time out for myself enabled me to feel good...no matter what attire I had on.

Fifty Shades of Grey And Awesome

2015-02-16T03:29:00.001-05:00

I hope you have a cool drink with you from the concession stand when seeing this movie because Fifty Shades of Grey was sizzling hot! My Valentines Day consisted of going to see this "soft core porn" and dragging my boyfriend along with me. I was apprehensive about seeing this movie because it got negatively pounded (no pun intended) by critics.

At first when I saw the cast selection for this movie I was disappointed. I didn't like the actor they chose to play the sexy, desirable, nonintoxicating hot Mr. Grey. I mean he was ok if you like that type of guy, but he was no Bradley Cooper or Chris Hemsworth. Those two are sexy, even Ryan Phillipe! Cmon!

Bradley

Chris

The guy playing Mr. Grey had to grow on me as the movie progressed. However, Dakota Johnson,the young lady playing Ms. Anastasia Steele was perfect! Ms. Steele had an innocent and awkward quality about her that was believable. The chemistry between Ms. Steele and Mr. Grey was translated through on screen in the short two hours of the film, but the relationship felt rushed. If a person didn't read the book you didn't really understand/see the cat and mouse chase that went on over a longer period of time. It has to be understood that the movie maker had to squeeze a whole book into two short hours, and the movie only covered the surface of things. If a person didn't read this book or isn't into the Erotica type of literature then they will find this movie to be pointless.

There were numerous sex scenes, and I wouldn't recommend seeing this on a first date because both parties might get hot and bothered (which wouldn't be wise if you're trying to be ladylike or a gentleman on the first date). After watching a movie like 50 Shades you can't help but to go home and want to replicate what it is that you saw. Ha....I had a good night after seeing this film with my honey, but I digress.

Out of 5 stars I think I would have to give this movie a 4. I liked it for what it was intended to be, but it won't be nominated for an Oscar or anything like that. It was a movie based on a "trashy" book, and that is what I expected when going to see it (that is exactly what I got).

Law of Attraction!

2015-01-21T00:31:00.001-05:00

I watched a documentary on Netflix based on a book called "The Secret". This book basically highlights what makes sucessful people tick, and how you can get in on some of that action. I've heard about this book long before seeing the documentary, but I definitely want a hard copy of this book to add to my collection.

The book focuses on the Law of Attraction. This law zeroes in on: asking the universe for something, believing you will get it, and showing gratitude for what you have. I also learned that whatever enegy you put out is the energy you will get back. If you have a negative based way of looking at life, then you will continue to receive negative things/events/feelings because of the energy you are putting out. You must use positive words to ask what you want from the universe so it is crystal clear. For example, if you want to be more prosperous, don't say to yourself "I'm tired of being broke". Use positive terminology such as, "I'am prosperous". By saying "I'm tired of being broke" the universe might actually take "being broke" part and give you more of being broke because you weren't direct. See yourself as wealthy, blessed, smart, wise, and in turn you will receive more.

I'm trying to keep this Law of Attraction in mind as of late, and it's hard because I've learned that I'm a negative thinker. I usually look at the glass as half empty instead of half full, and maybe I'm the one that's unknowingly pulling negative occurrences into my life because of how I think. I need to stop analyzing the less desirable parts of my life and be thankful for the abundant amount of blessings that I do have. Have you guys read "The Secret"? Do you think it's a good read, and what are your thoughts on this?

I have the above picture on my Ipad screenlock just to remind myself of how I'am

all of these things (I shouldn't let anything/anyone make me think otherwise).

Give Me A Wedding Ring!!!

2015-01-02T02:35:00.001-05:00

Happy New Year Blog Family! I hope all will be well with you and yours into 2015. With the New Year rolling around I've found myself getting into all of my feelings. All of my existing relationships are being analyzed so that I can take my life in a positive direction. I'm just being very conscience about the fact that I'm getting older, and I KNOW that this year is "do or die" for my boyfriend. You see blog fam, I don't want to be the girl waiting forever for a commitment that is never coming. At the beginning of my relationship with my current significant other I let him know that I couldn't carry on with him for years and years without a serious commitment. I have a bad pattern of being in long term relationships and being delusional. Why am I delusional? Well because I play the role of a wife when I AM NOT. In this particular relationship I'm more rational than I have ever been, but in the past I used to: clean bedrooms, loan out my car, and countlessly put another persons needs before mine (even if it meant me having nothing). I played the role of "wife"/"ride or die chick" and that got me nowhere fast.

Why play the role of wife when nobody wants to give me the title?

Anywho...I told my current boyfriend that I was giving him no more than 3 years of my time (That was 2 years ago, and this year is making year 3). I'm olddddd! Maybe if I was 22 I woudn't feel the need to pressure him, but I'm not. When are we supposed to start our lives together....when I'm 40? I know its a bad idea to put a time limit on something like marriage, but if you aren't ready then let me know so I could find somebody who is (before I get old and wrinkly).

I'm a big reader of the Steve Harvey books and I know that one of the things that he made crystal clear was the fact that if a man isn't settled/financially stable then he will never want to marry a woman (because he knows he won't be able to provide for her). That is scary. I'm not financially stable (I'm getting my Masters degreee in four months), and my boyfriend isn't either. Sooooo Houston we may have a problem. So the big question is.....do you put a time limit on commitment? How can you make sure that you are being taken seriously without coming off as too pushy? Putting a time limit on my relationship made me feel safe, but was it realistic? How long after being with someone do you say enough is enough...gimmie a ring?

They Think I'm Unattractive Because of My Natural Hair

2014-12-27T13:00:00.001-05:00

I have a group of three women that I'am best friends with. We have been friends for 5+ years. One woman is relaxed and wears short styled pixie cuts, another always wears weaves (real hair isn't even past shoulder length), and the third is natural (with "good" textured hair). The two relaxed girls alwayssss pick on me and my natural friend. Apparently they have issues with us because we don't have bone straight hair or frequent the hair salon like them. They are slightly rougher on me because my hair is a lot more coarser than our natural friend. I have 4b hair and my natural friend has 3c/4a hair. At one point during our friendship, about 3 years ago, I was going through a breakup and decided to go natural. They tore into me (the two relaxed ladies). They told me I looked like sh*t, and I needed to get a relaxer. I was told I'd never be able to get a man, and that I was dumb for letting myself go after the breakup. I eventually ended up texlaxing my hair to help with manageability, but my real hair is always in a bun/protective style 100% of the time anyway. They also thought my texlaxed hair was nappy, but I didn't give a damn.

Fast forward to Christmas of this year...Somehow we got into it about hair. My natural haired friend straightened her hair for the holidays and the relaxed girls were LOVING it. I chimed in and told my natural haired friend that straight hair was cool, but her natural hair was also beautiful. The other two turned on me. They told me to be quiet with my brillo pad hair. They also told me to stop being cheap and to treat my hair once in a while because my hair is my beauty. I told them that there is more to me than just my hair, and they got a kick out of that. The argument got heated and one relaxed haired girl said her short hair would look way better than mine no matter how long my hair was because I'm too cheap to get my hair done. In reality, I'm not cheap and I choose to do my own hair (which never looks bone straight like theirs). The same relaxed girl also told me that she could mop the floor with my "nappy" hair.

At this point I'm over this group of friends (with the exception of the natural one). They are so judgmental and critical of everything in relation to my appearance/relationships/financial situation. I do have a boyfriend now, and I do wear a natural puff at times (he hasn't left me yet.. lol). I think these ladies are toxic and I'm tired of being the butt of jokes about "nappy" hair. I'm a grown woman in her upper 20's, I should be able to rock whatever I want without being ostracized for it. I know friends are supposed to keep things all the way real with you, but my "nappy" hair is the real me....I can't change that (God played a part in that one). Am I taking things personal? Are friends supposed to tell you your hair is too "nappy"? I'm about ready to kick these friends to the curb for 2015 am I being dramatic? I don't believe real friends are supposed to make you feel crappy and bully you just because you don't look like them. If you look back into my past posts you will see that I referred to these friends as my frienemies. I'm tired of having friends that secretly hate me and go for my juggular whenever they get the chance. With friends like them who needs enemies....damn. The bottom line is that ALL natural hair is beautiful, its sad that they don't see that.

Holiday Outfit Ideas (Featuring The Skater Skirt)

2014-11-30T13:42:00.001-05:00

Recently I had purchased a Skater Skirt, but unfortunately I'd purchased it in the fall. I wanted to rock my Skater Skirt for the Holiday Season, but there were barely any tutorials/videos showing how I could wear them (and still be semi warm) during the colder season. I decided to come up with a few ideas on how I could make the Skater Skirt functional in the Winter. The skater skirt can be found almost anywhere online, and right now they are SUPER cheap. Not sure if they are going out of style, but ummmmm this frugal girl is taking full advantage by stocking up.

The skater skirt is cheap, comfortable to wear, and very versatile when it comes to styling. This particular piece can be dressed up or down. You can throw on a cardigan over one in the Winter (and still be sexy) or wear a crop top with it in the summer. This is one trend that I hope sticks around after the New Year rolls around. You can find the skater skirt through Macys, Forever 21, Charlotte Russe, or even Nastygal.com (for sure). I got my particular skirt from a store in NY called Rainbow. The skirt below is cayute because it features a zipper down the backside (I'm a sucker for shiny things).

On my youtube page I actually threw together a video for the purpose of styling the skater skirt during the Holidays. Down below I'll talk about what I came up with.

This first look uses the classic button up as a way to make this look a bit more age appropriate (for me anyway). I'm an older woman and the skirt kind of "screams" teenager but incorporating the use of my button up along with my chunky necklace makes the look classy.

I'd like to call this second look the "catholic school girl" look. I went to catholic school growing up and I was obsessed with my knee highs! In the picture above I opted for knee highs, a chunky black ankle boot, and a lace body suit. This look is completely opposite from the first look and seems suitable for a night out with the girls or a significant other.

This last look is a chill look. I would say that this combo is a more mature look. I chose a crop top sweater, along with a charm bracelet (which you can't really see here). I would wear stockings with this as well as a brown or red heel in order to break up the all black look.

I had fun creating this blog and thumbs up if you want more blogs like this one. Lastly, which look was your favorite? Look 1, 2, or 3?

How To Deal With Super Dry Hair Using The L.O.C Method

2014-11-30T01:37:00.000-05:00

So as a Texlaxed Lady I experience heavy periods of having dry, almost straw-like hair. The toughest thing about being texlaxed would have to be trying to achieve an acceptable moisture level. The things that I knew as my "staples" {when I was relaxed} got tossed aside real fast when I realized they were no longer effective.

Lately I have been tinkering with my moisturizing routine. Since being texlaxed I have been using the L.O.C method. The L.O.C method is a super helpful way to get your thirsty strands back to where they need to be.

L.O.C stands for:

L- Liquid/Leave-In

O- Oil

C-Cream

In order for the LOC method to be effective you have to use the liquid, the oil, and lastly top everything off with a cream. The L.O.C method can also be done the L.C.O way (which is liquid, cream, and oil). The main idea is to maintain moisture at every step of the way. Some options to use for the LOC method are:

Liquid-

1. Water or.......

Some sort of water based moisturizer

2. Neutrogena's Triple Moisture Leave In

3. Cantu Shea Butter's Moisturizing Leave In Cream

Oil-

1. Jojoba Oil

2. Grape-seed Oil

3. Extra Virgin Olive Oil

4. Coconut Oil (Not my favorite to use in the Winter because it makes hair feel stiff. This works better if mixed with another oil during the colder months)

Cream

Any moisturizing cream, natural moisturizing butter, or leave-in conditioner

1. Natural whipped Shea butter

2. As Iam Double Butter Cream

3. Carol's Daughter Hair Milk

I just threw a couple ideas out there for some of you guys. I currently use the Cantu Shea Butter Leave In, Castor Oil, and Shea Butter Combo. If anything, definitely tinker with some ingredients to see what works for your hair. Any who, over and out ladies! Hope you found this helpful! Check out my old YouTube video link to see the products that I used to use.

http://youtu.be/JvjFuEybNjc

The Versatility of Texlaxed Hair

2014-07-09T14:21:00.000-04:00

Hey guys, as promised I'm back.This particular post is about Texlaxed hair and the current state of my hair at this moment.

So What In The World Is Texlaxed Hair?

The common misconception about being texlaxed is the fact that people think you are no longer relaxed, but that my friends is wrong.

Having texlaxed hair does not mean that you are natural
Being texlaxed means that your hair is still chemically processed, but for a shorter amount of time
You can texlax your hair with a regular relaxer kit by adding conditioner or oil to the mix (this slows down the relaxers processing time)
You can texlax your hair with a texture softner (this is the route that I chose)
Being fully texlaxed happens over time....you need to gradually trim away at your bone straight relaxed ends (It took me two years to be fully texlaxed....I had several major cuts)
The chemicals still break down your hair when you texlax, but not as much because the relaxer isn't left on for as long as a bone straight relaxer

Let me share something with those who are considering texlaxed hair. I initially decided to texlax because I was tired of having fine hair. I did the research and it seemed like the girls with the thickest (relaxed hair) were texlaxed ladies. So I went for the plunge. I thought using a texture softner would automatically give me wavy/curly hair, but THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS! When you start texlaxing ONLY YOUR ROOTS/NEW GROWTH will be texlaxed. Your bone straight relaxed ends must be completely gone for you to be texlaxed, and that will take years if you don't do a big cut/trims.

People claim that texlaxed hair is not a type or that it is the same as relaxed hair. I guarantee you that relaxed hair is NOT texlaxed hair as far as the makeup of one's hair.

Texlaxed hair causes me to experience shrinkage
My hair is no longer bone straight, unless I flat iron
My edges no longer lay flat without the use of gel and a head scarf
My hair is soooooooo much thicker than when I was fully relaxed

If you like bone straight hair....TEXLAXED HAIR IS NOT FOR YOU! (If I had known this info I probably wouldn't have texlaxed because I LOVE bone straight hair/freshly relaxed edges, but I'm glad I didn't).

Currently I am probably a little below shoulder length because I had a big chop in March. That cut left me fully texlaxed. Last weekend I did my first wash-n-go and a puff on my texlaxed hair, bone straight relaxed hair can't do that (my hair is a little past my shoulders when not in a puff, thanks to shrinkage). I hate to say texlaxed hair is similar to natural hair, but sometimes I do believe there are similarities in maintenance. Anyway I've gone on too much....To be continued!

Whyyyyyyy Blogger?!?!?!?

2014-07-07T20:25:00.002-04:00

Alas, I am disappointed in blogger and the whole Picasso photo album nonsense! All of the posts that I've worked on for the past four years (plus) of blogging have been tampered with. My pictures don't show up with my posts and that saddens me. I wish blogger would have gotten it's life together before ruining my work. If you look back at my old posts pictures will be missing, but I won't delete the posts because of memories associated with the writing. I will be posting again, and I won't let this stop me. Hair posts, exercise posts, and life posts are coming right up. I hope you guys continue to rock with me.

My Birthday.Getting Closer To The Big 30!

2014-02-09T05:13:00.001-05:00

Mannnn Hi Blogger Family. Its been a while since I've posted. I know, I'm no good. Well today is my birthday and I hit 28. Ugh its mind blowing even writing that number...but yep time flies. What do I expect of 28? Well first I'd like to be done with my Masters before the end of the year. Secondly I'd like a stable job in my career field please!?! Lastly, when it comes to love I just want the person I'm with to be on the same page as me. I'm no longer a teen, I can't date someone for 2-3 years at a time anymore....its not happening. I'm actually going to do a post on dating people for too long (for my older gals). Besides that....27 was a learning experience and very tough on me. Here's to better days ahead.