Wonko's World

Small World

2008-08-16T14:59:00.001Z

Took Mrs Sane out for a meal last night to our favourite Italian restaurant, Osteria da Paolo in Shrewsbury.

Shrewsbury was a bit manic because the Flower Show is in full swing and the restaurant was busier than usual but the service was great, as was the food (although it did take two attempts to get Mrs Sane a steak that wasn't still mooing).

After the meal we went and picked up a friend and met the ginger one in a pub. Which is out of character for him. Ahem. Sadly, there was no music and the ladies wanted music so we went on a pub-with-music hunt.

We plumped for Ironbridge in the end which has changed a bit since my binge drinking youth. I wouldn't recommend the White Hart - as soon as we'd got our drinks they rang the bell for last orders and wouldn't serve anybody once the bell was rung. So not actually last orders, more sort of "surprise, we're closed". Even more bizarrely for the 15-20 people sitting outside finishing their drinks, 10 minutes after calling "surprise we're closed" orders, they shut the door and switched the outside lights off, leaving everyone in the dark!

We strolled down the road to the Swan which had a live band on, even at 11pm and promised to stay open until 1am. I never rated the Swan in my binge drinking days but we had a good laugh, even though I appeared to be the only sober person in Ironbridge. We were standing next to a group of very drunk Londoners on a stag night. One of them - a little asian guy - started chatting to me, asking me about the night life in Telford. Then the groom introduced himself and it turns out he grew up in the same town as me and went to the same school (he was 10 years older than me so I didn't know him). Not only that, but his sister is about to get married to my old geography teacher. Small world.
[tags]Shrewsbury, Ironbridge[/tags]

No New Posts Here

2006-09-04T21:45:00.000Z

THIS BLOG HAS MOVED!

You will be redirected automatically in a few seconds.

If nothing happens, click here.

Ok, I've got to draw the line somewhere in updating this blog and it may as well be here.

Blogger is up and down like a whore's knickers and Wordpress is soooooo much easier to use and much, much faster as well!

I'm not deleting this blog - the pages are staying and I'll probably even link to them in the future but from now on I'll only post new stuff to the spangly new Wonko's World blog.

If you don't like our flag go somewhere else

2006-09-02T08:57:00.000Z

The Daily Mail has a letter today from 4 young muslims who want to change our flag because its Christian symbolism is offensive to them.

We British Muslim lads, born in England of Pakistani parents, are football fans and our team is Manchester united.

We’d like to support England at football and other sports, but we can’t because the flag is unacceptable to Muslims.

No Muslim home in our area displayed the England flag during the world cup. That flag represents Christianity: it’s the anti-Muslim flag of the Templars and the Crusaders.
The vast majority of Muslims and, we believe, Englishmen in general would support changing the flag from its present style to the three lions.

That would be a flag which all elements of the community would be willing to support.

We don’t wish to be ‘radicalized’ and we would never become terrorists, but the continual use of an anti-Islamic flag increases our sympathy for, and understanding of, our fellow Muslims who believe direct action is the only way to make our voices heard.

Samir, Said, Ahmed and Tariq, Manchester

Samir, Said, Ahmed and Tariq, let me just tell you in no uncertain terms that no, we don't want to change our flag because it offends your unreasonable and intolerant religion. Most English people don't want to see the Cross of St George replaced with the three lions of our national football team. If you can't support your national football team because the flag of your country is offensive to you then it's about time you went somewhere else. The crescent and star of Islam are offensive to me because they represent an anti-English, anti-western, anti-democracy, anti-women religion, the aim of which is to Islamify the whole world whether they want it or not.

Hat-tip: Armchair Activist

Council Baiting

2006-09-01T21:56:00.000Z

I was a busy bee this afternoon trying to find out what work it is that the city region is going to be doing as nobody seems to have been able (or willing) to tell me before. First stop Telford & Wrekin Council.

Called T&W Council and the switchboard operator put me through to a bewildered Leisure Services person who then referred me to the PR office. The lady at the PR office told me that there are only two people at T&W Council that know enough about the city region to talk to me. I asked her why it was that not even council employees knew anything about this and why, if it is such a good thing, it is all being kept secret. She took offence at this and haughtily gave me her opinion that it wasn't a secret at all. I told her that I had been refused a copy of the proposal for the city region more than once, one occasion being a Freedom of Information Act request. She took my name and number and left a message for the man in the know to ring me because he is conveniently unavailable today.

Next on my list was the Standards Board for England to ask them if the Leader of the Council, Keith Austin, had a predetermined opinion and/or prejudicial interest when he recommended the cabinet vote in favour of the city region when he gets a job with them and had been quoted more than once in the Shropshire Star beforehand saying what a wonderful idea it is. They said there may be a case and invited me to submit a complaint.

The thought of this New Labour toad being hauled in front of the Standards Board kept me amused for all of 5 minutes so I decided to phone Birmingham City Council. I spoke to a North British gentleman called Sandy who I spoke to once a few months ago. He remembered who I was. We had a heated discussion in which he failed to explain why the councils in the West Midlands euroregion can't just co-operate without setting up yet another unelected regional government at the taxpayers expense, where and how the extra investment and benefits are coming from and why there is not going to be any referendum on the city region when even Telford's europhile Labour MP said that the people of Telford don't want regional government. He also explained that the reason people in the North East euroregion rejected their regional assembly in a referendum was because they were unelected, couldn't pass legislation and didn't have much power whereas the city region ... oh, there's no difference. He said that I should trust in the council leaders' decisions as they were doing what is best for the region. I suggested that they approved of it because it's Labour Party policy and it's a Labour council at which point he shouted that I couldn't say that to which I replied "I can and I just did" and that the Chief Exec of T&W Council is a card carrying member of the Labour Party. He got a bit wound up at this point and we weren't getting anywhere so I made one final stab and getting him to contradict himself by asking him to confirm that we won't be getting a say in the city region and that the consultation will be held once the decisions have all been made. He said I couldn't twist his words like that but confirmed that there wouldn't be a referendum so ... we aren't going to have a say?

MP in worry over jobs

2006-09-01T21:13:00.000Z

The following is an excerpt from the newly-redesigned (and frankly appaling) Shropshire Star website on the city region.

MP in worry over jobs

Telford will be losing out on jobs and investment because its name has been left off the newly-planned West Midlands city region, it has been claimed. It was announced today that the proposed new strategic policy-making body will be called The Birmingham, Coventry and the Black Country City region. Telford and Solihull councils are the only two to be ignored by the new title.

Today Wrekin MP Mark Pritchard said leaving Telford out of the title would mean it would not benefit from the same opportunities as the named areas. But bosses at Telford & Wrekin Council said the work and decisions of the body was much more important than the name.

This is all well and good Mark but I warned you a while ago that Telford was going to be shafted and did you listen? No, you wanted to wait and see what happened before you did anything. Well, I told you so and even now that you can see that Telford really is getting taken for a ride I bet you still do nothing about it.

City Region gets its name

2006-09-01T13:16:00.000Z

The West Midlands City Region have officially got its name. It will be known as the Birmingham, Coverntry and Black Country City Region.

Where does this leave Telford and Solihul, the only two parts of the City Region that aren’t even mentioned in the name? Exactly where I said we would be - left out in the cold, a suburb of Birmingham.

Thanks Defra

2006-09-01T11:55:00.000Z

Defra have created a wiki for an Environmental Contract. Wiki’s are a collaborative tool in which web users can contribute to the content and help build up a kind of online encyclopaedia. For an organisation, such as a government department, there is the option to restrict who can make changes to the wiki in question. Nobody appears to have told Defra this though and some enterprising individuals have been making some helpful changes.

This page obviously isn’t going to last long so, for posterities sake … click here.

Hat-tip: Devils Kitchen

Update:
Someone at Defra has reverted the pages back to their original state but the good news is that the old revisions are preserved by tagging ?revision=### where ### is a number from 139 downwards. For example: http://wiki.defra.gov.uk/WikiHome/EnvironmentContract?revision=139

Tony Won't Go

2006-09-01T11:54:00.000Z

Traitor Blair has again refused to give a date for his departure. This time he has been asked to give a departure date at the Labour Stazi conference.

He’s been asked so many times by the electorate, the media, opposition MP’s and even his own cabinet when he’s going to resign - when will he take the hint?

Organ Donors

2006-08-31T09:07:00.000Z

I nearly fell off my chair this morning when I heard on the news that the British government has changed the law so that relatives of people registered as organ donors will not be able to prevent doctors from using the dead person organs.

The reason I nearly fell of my chair was not because I was aghast at the interference of the state in yet another area of our lives but because, for the first time this year, I actually agree with something the British government has done.

I have been on the organ donor register since I got my first driving licence and it was an option on the form. My wife and family all know my wishes, the only concession is that my wife doesn't want them to have my eyes (ahhhh) but they can have everything else. The thing is, I have made the decision that when I die I would like my organs to be used to help someone else live if possible and nobody should be allowed to prevent doctors from respecting my wishes.

Volunteers Wanted

2006-08-30T20:57:00.000Z

Volunteers needed in the West Midlands euroregion to join a campaign against the West Midlands City Region and the rest of the unelected regional bureaucracy.

For more information, contact me.

Postman suspended for helping customers

2006-08-30T20:49:00.000Z

A postman has been suspended and is being threatened with the sack for helping residents stop getting junk mail.

The postman was getting so many complaints about junk mail he made his own leaflets advising how to stop unaddressed junk from being delivered. After being inundated with requests the Royal Mail suspended the man and are now threatening to sack him.

I understand that a large proportion of the Royal Mail's income comes from delivering junk but it is anti-social and unwanted and the Royal Mail shouldn't rely so heavily on income from junk mail.

Adobe Flex

2006-08-28T18:17:00.000Z

Has anyone tried Adobe Flex yet?

Flex is basically an XML-based language for creating rich Flash applications. The XML source is compiled, along with any ActionScript included in it, into a binary SWF file which can then be embedded into a web page.

The language is aimed at developers rather than designers and does away with the traditional timeline style of devloping Flash. I've downloaded the SDK and looked at some of the examples and it looks relatively simple to get to grips with. Hopefully this will see Flash used for something other than ripped-off trashy intro pages to 13 year old script kiddies' websites.

SNP call for the abolition of unfair fees ... for the English!

2006-08-28T11:04:00.000Z

The SNP have called for the abolition of the discriminatory university fees regime in North Britain that forces English students studying north of the border paying up to £4k more than a North Briton or EU student for the same course.

The Labour and the Lib Dum controlled North British Parliament introduced the racist fees when their North British MP's imposed top-up fees on England against the will of MP's elected in England.

It's really quite depressing when you think that over half of the MP's in the British parliament are elected in English constituencies yet the only political party opposing anti-English discrimination (with the obvious exception of the English Democrats) is the SNP.

Hidden Speed Camera Van

2006-08-27T21:26:00.000Z

Went to a party last night in Newport (Shropshire, not West Britain or Isle of Wight) and passed a speed camera van. Approaching the van it was perfectly visible but coming in the opposite direction it was completely hidden behind a wall and bushes. The speed camera partnerships say that speed cameras aren’t about making money, they’re there to deter motorists from speeding - this is why they’re painted in bright colours. If this is the case then why was this particular van hidden behind a wall?

The speed camera van was out in Shrewsbury today (I wonder if they get paid double time for working on a Sunday?) outside the college. I can understand the logic of putting a speed camera outside of the college if the intention was to keep the students safe from people driving too fast but when the college has been closed for over a month for the summer holidays, exactly who is the speed camera supposed to be protecting?

Speeding isn’t dangerous - driving too fast is. There is a difference. It can be safe to drive at 80mph on a wide open straight road with no houses or junctions in a new car and a few years driving experience - this is speeding. It isn’t safe to drive at 60mph in a 30mph limit outside a school at 3pm on a Monday afternoon in term time - this is driving too fast. It is for this reason that speed cameras are so flawed. A person with a camera can judge whether you are driving too fast but a camera can’t. Some people aren’t capable of driving at the speed limit - once you reach a certain age your reactions are too slow to drive safely at the speed limit. A person with a camera can judge whether you are driving safely but a camera can’t.

Astounding Discovery

2006-08-27T17:46:00.000Z

Intrepid explorer, Wonko The Sane, has returned from an expedition to Tescoland with an astaunding discovery - a box of mushrooms with a label saying their origin is ... ENGLAND!

I didn't even want them, I just brought them because they said England on.

Big Brother's bin watching you

2006-08-27T14:49:00.000Z

Source: Mail on Sunday

Around 500,000 housholds in England have had their wheelie bins secretly microchipped so that they can be uniquely identified. This opens up opportunies for charging residents for the amount of rubbish they produce, something that will most impact young families who can't recycle nappies, baby wipes, etc.

Some dustbin lorries already have weighing equipment fitted so implementing this policy will be relatively easy. Local Authorities already have the power to tell you how and when your rubbish must be made available. They can force you to recycle, refuse to accept certain items and in theory could even force you to take your wheelie bin to a collection point 10 miles down the road if they so wish with thousands of pounds in fines for refusing to obey their instructions.

Balamory: A beacon of multiculturalism

2006-08-27T14:09:00.000Z

The kids had the telly on this morning and not for the first time I have marvelled at the diversity of the multicultural haven that is known as Balamory.

For those who don't know what Balamory is (ie. you don't have young children or a telly), it's a small town on a remote North British island accessible only by a ferry from the mainland. The population comprises about one third white North British, a couple of English people, one American and about two thirds Asian/Oriental/black. The American is a black artist and the English population of Balamory consists of a female geordie in a wheelchair, a black fitness freak and a giner curly haired kilt wearing inventor with a Scottish name who lives in a big pink castle.

The people of Balamory (or Tobomory as it's known in real life) are an example to us all.

Council criticised for opposing ID cards

2006-08-26T16:22:00.000Z

Two councils in West Britain have been criticised by British Labour MP for Caerphilly, Wayne David, for pledging their opposition to the ID Card scam.

The two councils - Cardiff and Ceredigion - both feel that ID cards will be expensive and useless and are refusing to take part in any trials or to require its use for services unless required to do so by law.

Wayne David MP said that it was unhelpful because we are at risk from terrorism. The British government has already withdrawn its claim that ID cards will prevent terrorism. He said that it is "incumbent" on local authorities to support the scheme. I wonder if Mr David intentionally used the word incumbent or perhaps didn't realised that incumbent means obligatory. ID cards are voluntary aren't they?

Moving to Wordpress

2006-08-26T10:01:00.000Z

Hindsight is such a wonderful thing! When I moved from my old blog at vbCity - The Insane Rambling of Wonko the Sane - I was still a blogging newbie and not the blog-addicted gobshite that I am now. With the benefit of hindsight I wouldn't have chosen Blogger as a blogging platform. Don't get me wrong, Blogger is a good blogging platform with an easily customisable template but it lacks features and it isn't feasible to republish the entire blog (especially one the size of mine) every time you change the template.

It's possible to hack Blogger about to add most of the features of Wordpress but I'm fed up of hacking and fiddling with Blogger to make it do what I want. With this in mind, I am ditching Blogger and moving to Wordpress. I can't get the import tool to import from Blogger so for the time being I will post to both blogs at the same time.

I've only just installed Wordpress so please bear with me while I tweak it and customise it. The url is http://www.wonkosworld.co.uk/wordpress if you want to take a look at it. There's no need to update your links - I'll redirect the url's when I'm ready.

Benevolence? Hypocracy more like.

2006-08-25T20:45:00.000Z

The Israeli's have told Syria to stay away from Lebanon and Hezbollah and to respect Lebanon's sovereignty.

Just a reminder - Israel only finished its last illegal occupation of Lebanon a few years ago and it is currently a month into its latest one having killed well in excess of 600 civillians and violated the ceasefire twice attracting a reprimand from the UN.

Hypocrites.

Scotland honours Connery

2006-08-25T18:35:00.000Z

Sean Connery, the born-again North British Nationalist who loves the place so much he lives in America, is being honoured by Scottish BAFTA.

How sad that the North Britons are so desperate for heroes that they cling on to someone who can't even bear to live in the country.

Have the Tories turned left wing?

2006-08-24T20:42:00.000Z

Since David Cameron was elected as leader of the Tories there has definitely been a big shift to the left. The latest proclomation that 50% of all shortlists now have to be female to try and bump up the number of woman MP's is the sort of left liberal crap that you would expect from the Lib Dums or the über-PC Labour Stazi.

I emailed David Cameron the other day over this and got a reply today from one of his secretaries:

Are you familiar with the phrase "positive discrimination isn't"?

Arbitrary quotas and positive discrimination is one of Labour's worst traits and I find it frankly bizarre that you think a good way of winning the next election is to force local parties to put forward women candidates regardless of whether there are any suitable and willing candidates or not.

Dear Stuart,

Thank you for writing to David Cameron - I am replying on his behalf.

We appreciate what you have to say regarding changes to the candidate selection process, and David Cameron is very grateful to you for taking the time to give him your views - he does take on board what people say to him and likes to keep up to date with people's views.

Firstly, it is absolutely undeniable that there is an imbalance in the Conservative Parliamentary Party at present: 9 out of 10 Conservative MPs are male and white. In fact, female representation in the Party has remained stagnant since 1932, increasing by just 4, from 13 to 17.
David Cameron MP made clear in his campaign to be Conservative Party Leader that this is something he would seek to redress, and the Party gave him their strong backing as Leader on this basis.

The changes to the selection process introduced by David Cameron last week actually give more say to local associations in the selection process. Members are able to draw up a shortlist of four candidates, and ratify the final decision made by their executive. You may also like to know that it has always been the case that local associations can opt for all-women shortlists, should they so wish. As before, it remains their choice.

Finally, we will not compromise on ability. Rather than do this, David Cameron's attempt to redress the imbalance will ensure a greater pool of skills from which to draw.

Thank you once again for taking the time and trouble to write.

Yours sincerely,

Anna Biles
Correspondence Secretary
David Cameron's Office
House of Commons
London SW1A 0AA

www.conservatives.com

She doesn't get it does she? None of them seem to. If you have 6 candidates for a seat - 4 men and 2 women - two of those men would have to be cast aside regardless of whether they were better candidates than the two women just so that the Tories can artificially bump up their quota of female candiates and MP's.

I really think that this will damage the Tories in the next election.

Ruth Kelly wants to talk about ethnic tensions

2006-08-24T19:40:00.000Z

The Minister for Communities, Ruth Kelly, has decided that we need a "new and honest" discussion about what is causing ethnic tensions. To this end, she has spent our taxes on a new Integration and Cohesion Commission.

Ruth, I'll save you the effort love. The cause of ethnic tensions are simple and we've been telling you and your other champagne socialist chums what they are for years. I'm quite happy to come down to London and tell you free of charge what the problems are. I'll even pay my own train ticket.

The problem is that ethnic minorities are encouraged by the politically correct British government and all the various hangers-on like the Commission for Racial Equality to segregate themselves. Every effort must be made to ensure that their alien culture and way of life are accommodated and prized at the expense of our own native culture and way of life. If you don't comply with this you are denounced as intolerent or racist. It is permissible to discriminate against the native people of this island to pacify those of ethnic minorities but certainly not the reverse. A group of self-appointed muslim community leaders requests an audience with Ruth Kelly to demand the introduction of Sharia Law in the UK and their request is granted. Were I to request an audience to discuss an English Parlaiment or regionalisation I would be turned down without a second thought.

Most English people do not have a problem with people moving to this country from overseas. What they do have a problem with is people moving to this country, insisting that we change our own way of life to accomodate theirs, refusing to speak English or to associate with anyone outside of their own culture. It simply isn't acceptable. We have our own way of life, our own values and our own culture. People moving to this country should accept and accomodate us, not the other way round.

I have just sent the following email to Ruth Kelly's department:

Hi,

I see that Ruth Kelly wants a "new and honest" debate on ethnic tensions. I would absolutely love to take part in a debate on the cause and solution of ethnic tensions in the UK. Looking at the committee members I see that they are all "experts" in their field but nobody seems to be an ordinary white English member of the public. This is a bit of an oversight as it is the "ordinary" people in this country that are directly affected by this, not ministers or business and faith leaders. I would like to put myself forward as the "expert" in the field of living in this country under the current regime.

Naughty Evesham

2006-08-24T12:26:00.000Z

Since blogging my experiences over my Evesham Laptop, I have received quite a few emails from people who have either had similar experiences or from former employees confirming from they are, indeed, a shonky company.

One of the emails I had recently explained how Evesham manage to get themselves voted best supplier, best support, best after-sales support, etc. in PC magazines. My source tells me that on one occassion in particular, the PA to a senior member of staff had sent Evesham's marketing department out to buy every copy of Compteractive magazine they could and then send an email to staff telling them they were available for free. When staff went to claim a magazine the centre pages containing a survey to find the best PC supplier or vendor had been removed and the marketing department were filling the surveys in voting for Evesham. My source also tells me that on other occassions, members of staff were sent emails asking them to vote for Evesham in online surveys for other PC magazines.

Disclaimer:
This information has been provided anonymously by a former employee of Evesham and, due to its nature, cannot be verified as accurate.

600k Migrants from the EU

2006-08-22T20:12:00.000Z

Lets all express our deepest gratitude to the British government and the EU for facilitating the migration of 600,000 economic migrants from Eastern Europe into the UK.

Let's say a special thank you on behalf of the taxpayers of England who now have to pay, not only for the 550,000 of them that live in England and contribute to our economy, but for the other 50,000 that live in the rest of the UK and need heavily subsidising along with the rest of those nations.

And lets say a very special thank you for the muppets that decided that economic migrants who come to work here and leave their families at home can claim thousands a year in child benefits here and then send them home.

Thanks very chuffing much.