Woolwich 1886

What Declan Rice can learn from Saka, Martinelli, Xhaka, White, Saliba, Ramsdale...

2023-03-27T09:59:00.000-05:00

Declan Rice's career as a footballer will soon be at a crossroads. On one hand, he can stay at West Ham and simply be run into the ground by Moyes or whoever replaces him. On another hand, he can be a hood ornament on a luxury club like Man City or PSG. Sure, silverware galore, but as in that first case, he won't develop, grow, or improve. That brings me to the other, other hand—join a club that is quickly become famous for developing young players into superstars. Arsenal have always been renowned for this, but Mikel Arteta is taking things to a whole 'nother level.

Whether it's someone plucked from relative obscurity like Gabriel Martinelli (a £6 million diamond in the rough), a highly coveted but fring player at a megaclub like Martin Ødegaard (coveted by Guardiola but surplus to Real Madrid's desires), a twice-relegated keeper like Aaron Ramsdale, or any of a half-dozen other players, Mikel Arteta doesn't simply ride his players; he actually coaches them. Look at the meteoric rise we're seeing from not only those three already mentioned but also Saka, Xhaka, Saliba, Magalhães, Zinchenko, White...it seems like just about every player Arteta touches turns to gold.

To be clear, the cream of the crop will usually rise to the top all on its own. However, the speed with which these players have become among the best in the Prem at their respective positions is surely a testament to Arteta's expectations, methods, confidence, and so much more. I'm sure we've all seen the All Or Nothing series—that only gives us a peek behind the curtain. There must be innumerable other elements to Arteta's approach that he didn't want to share with the world. To finish this paragraph with another food idiom, the proof is in the pudding.

During this international break, then, Declan Rice will surely be hearing a lot from Saka and Ramsdale about Arteta's influence on their respective rises. In that sense, it's almost a pity that the break is only a fortnight or so. Our own Jack Wilshere weighed in with some of what Saka and Ramsdale are likely to echo:

I think he would be very good under Mikel's watch. Mikel would develop him, bring him on even more and he would be massive for the team as well. I have had conversations with Dec and told him what he is doing in unbelievable, he is captain of a big Premier League club and is always learning. His future is in his hands and it's very exciting for him because he's got everything with him now and he's picking up more and more, he's growing into this man who could play anywhere.

Rice is at that critical juncture in his careeer. His next contract will likely cover his prime years. He can look at Harry Kane to see what it's like to commit himself to a club that will prevent him from winning silverware. He can look at Grealish to see what it's like to go from talisman to trinket. He can watch Saka and Ramsdale force an Arsenal shirt over him after England's next win. Too bad they're not drawn with the Netherlands in the round of qualifiers in June.

For as good as Rice already is, he can only get better, and the right manager will be key to that. Simply—and, I hope, objectively—put, that manager is Arteta. Who is better at nurturing, creating, and curating talent into skill?

Arsenal's North London Rivals COLLAPSE via Conte sacking!

2023-03-26T17:32:00.005-05:00

Tell me about it, Tony.

Apparently, Daniel Levy didn't read my letter. Tsk. It was chock-full of useful, pragmatic, and, above all, objective advice on the necessity of keeping Conte at any cost. Sadly, that polite but firm letter to Levy or at least his underlings who, with some cajolilng, would pass it along to him or at least give him the gist of it never arrived. Now, here we are with Conte cast aside—oh, I'm sorry, he's left by "mutual consent", a club's version of "it's not you, it's me". Conte joins the ranks of Nuno, Mourinho, Pochettino, Sherwood, Villas-Boas, and, well just about every manager of the last 15 years in getting sacked.

Tottenham are in serious trouble. They risk years in the wilderness if this season doesn't end with a Champions League spot. While they currently sit fourth, they're circling the drain like molten toothpaste. Newcastle trail by just two points, have two games in hand, and have the wind at their backs. Liverpool, seven points behind, also have two games in hand. Heck, Brighton, seven points behind, have three games in hand. It's entirely conceivable that Tottenham could fail to qualify for Europa League, never mind Champions League. That could be fatal.

What manager would come near this flaming dumpster fire? Julian Nagelsmann? Mauricio Pochettino? Why would these managers, having grown accustomed to the finer things in life, agree to shackle themselves to this sinking club? Mourinho and Conte are two world-class managers who couldn't convince Levy to loosen the purse-strings, and those two are legendary in their insistence for proven world-class players. Missing out on Champions League will make it even harder to lure the kind of manager, not to mention the kind of players, Tottenham will desperately need.

Think about their squad. Who among them would walk into the XI at Arsenal, Man City, or Man U? Kane, maybe—a move away to a club that's fighting for silverware could rejuvenate him, but he looks slower and less-incisive with each passing match. His pursuit of individual glory might prove to be a hard habit to break, bred into him over almost his entire professional career. Son? He's a ghost of his former self. One could make a claim for Porro or Kulusevski, but the fall-off after that is steep.

This should force Levy to realise that his only option, whatever happens over their remaining ten matches, is to sell Kane to someone like Real Madrid. In truth, he probably should have sold Kane last summer before another year of use and the increasing desperation of their current dire straits started to sap Kane's value. Last summer, they might have sold him for £200m. That would have allowed Levy to buy four or five high-quality players. Now, given the turmoil, the only limiting factor to Kane leaving is his apparent desire to break Alan Shearer's Premier League scoring record. Kane needs just 57 goals, something he could probably get in two or three more seasons if he joins the right side.

Daniel Levy makes Arsène look like a drunken sailor. Heck, he makes Scrooge himself seem profligate. Kane knows this. Aside from Son, he can't point to any other teammate who is world-class (and even Son has struggled to replicate his form of the last two or three seasons). Where are the academy players? Where are the diamond-in-the-rough signings?

With Newcastle surging, it's only a matter of time before Spurs slip to fifth. People try to undermine our top-of-the-table status by suggesting that we're only there because Liverpool, Chelsea, and Man U have struggled to varying degrees. Where does that leave Spurs next season? On current form, they'd be lucky to finish eighth.

Of course, I could be wrong. Interim manager Cristian Stellini could turn out to be the most brilliant manager in the history of football, leaving Spurs to a ten-match win streak, convincing Kane to stay and Levy to sign six marquee players in the summer, and I will have wasted your time and mine with this post. It's unlikely. What's more likely is us watching the slow-motion implosion of this erstwhile rival of ours.

Rodri tries to join the "Abuse Arsenal Ankles Army"

2023-03-26T01:00:00.003-05:00

Spain and Man City defensive midfielder Rodri did his level best on Saturday to join the likes of Ryan Shawcross, Dan Smith, and Martin Taylor during Spain's match against Norway in Euro qualifiers, going in with a reckless, studs-first tackle on Norway and Arsenal midfielder Martin Ødegaard. It was, to be honest—and regular readers will know that I'm averse to hyperbole—disgusting. Ødegaard had planted his right foot and had taken the shot with his left. Rodri, late to close down, slid in from Ødegaard's right (from his planted foot) and scythed the Norwegian down in a move that reverberated down through the years.

After all, we're no strangers here to ankle-snapping tackles that derail seasons if not careers:

2006: Dan Smith snaps Abou Diaby's ankle, completely and utterly derailing one of the best box-to-box midfielders this club has seen since Patrick Vieira. Diaby would never recover, suffering all manner of other ancillary injuries. Smith didn't even see red.
2008: Martin Taylor breaks Eduardo's fibula and dislocates Eduardo's ankle, derailing the brilliant Brazilian's career and sending our title-tilt into a tailspin. At least Taylor was sent off.
2010: Ryan Shawcross scythes Aaron Ramsey down in an incident so gruesome that most networks refused to show replays. Shawcross too was sent off, Ramsey did enjoy a resurrection of sorts, for what that's worth.

We fast-forward to 24 Saturday 2023 and Rodri, holding down the fort in a Euro qualifier that Spain have already taken a lead, lunges into a studs-uptackle on a rival for club and country, sending the full weight of his body into the planted leg of a player whose shot was already well on its way. A split-second earlier, and Rodri might have had a chance to block the shot. A split-second earlier, and Rodri might have had a chance to snap Ødegaard's ankle. Was Rodri thinking only of Spain's chances, or was he also weighing up Man City's? We'll never know, but it's hard to resist speculating. He's a cagey one, that's one thing for sure.

Speaking after the match, Ødegaard was blunt:

Yes, he chopped me right down…maybe the ref thinks because I got the shot away…but he flies in with the studs high on my ankles. That’s a blatant penalty. But put it this way, I don’t want to talk about the referee…Look, I don’t even…if I speak…

Ødegaard might be being diplomatic here. The fact that he got the shot away shouldn't absolve Rodri of wrongdoing. By that logic, after all, a player can foul or even maim his opponent if he simply waits until after the shot's off. French referee Benoit Bastien was apparently comfortable with this linke of thinking, ignoring the actual foul and instead booking Ødegaard for remonstrating for the foul, red card, or penalty or simulating injury. I'm sure Bastien will spill the tea in his tell-all autobiography to be released a decade hence.

One issue emerges: Rodri feels like Man City are on the ropes. I won't go so far as to suggest that Guardiola offered any encouragement, and I'm not doing that thing where I deny something in order to bring attention to it. Guardiola is not Tony Pulis. I will suggest that certain Man City players are feeling the pressure that we've brought to bear. If Rodri or anyone else is willing to resort to such "tactics", that says a hell of a lot about who they are.

Ødegaard was able to finish the match, suggesting that Rodri's cynical attempt missed its mark, but the Spaniard has still sent a message. We hear it loud and clear. Last I checked, Spain's next Euro qualifier is against Scotland. Without suggesting that anyone in our squad would stoop to Rodri's level, we do have a rather-fierce roadman waiting in the wings. Failing that, there's always Scott McTominay, who makes Marouane Fellaini look like a glass ballerina at the best of times. Hey, when it comes to Rodri, I'm a well-wisher, in that I don't wish him any specific harm...

Open Letter to Daniel Levy regarding this current crisis...

2023-03-22T08:32:00.001-05:00

Dear Daniel (may I address you as Daniel? Good.)—

I come to you in a spirit of camarederie, sympathy, and, yes, even respect. Set aside any suspicions you may have about this being a blog dedicated to your club's biggest rival (our club is quite a bit larger than yours, you must admit). Oh—I'm being told that "biggest" in this sense usually refers to the importance of the rivalry, not the relative size of the two clubs involved. Hm. Be that as it may, I hope you will be open to my entreaty.

Again, I come to you with a sincere, earnest desire to see your club earn the legacy that it deserves and to offer to its fans the experience that they've come to expect. It's with that in mind that I was concerned to hear rumours that your current manager, one Antonio Conte, may soon be sacked due to an intemperate diatribe after dropping points, at home, to the worst squad in the Prem despite nursing a two-goal lead with just 13 minutes to play.

Please believe when I state unequivocally that you should not sack this manager. He is a world-class manager. He is a winner. What's more, sacking him might cost you millions, just as it did when you sacked Pochettino, Nuno, and Mourinho. In fact, there's a lesson here: sacking managers isn't just expensive; it's counterproductive. Since sacking Pochettino, this wondrous club of yours was been wandering the wilderness. What it needs is a firm hand, an experienced, stability.

You must therefore do everything in your power to convince Conte to stay on, certainly for the remainder of the season and for years to come. Look at it this way: for as incendiary as his speech was, it was a masterstroke of motivational genius. His players will have to look themselves in the mirror, realise the essential truth of what he said, and either rise to the occasion or be jettisoned come summer. That's all there is to it. I cross my heart and swear to die that this is what Conte intended. He truly didn't believe all those hurtful, truthful facts that he spewed. He was simply trying to light a fire under the lads to get them to rise to the occasion. Truth.

I swear that I have no ulterior motives here, and shame on those who would suggest or insinuate otherwise. Pure as the driven snow, I am. Sure, I've read some spurious stories (and how unfair an adjective is that?) about certain Gooners salivating over the lurid spectacle of Conte's incandescence, of his players trudging mirthlessly about the pitch playing his dull, negative, predictable...tactics despite continually failing to achieve much of anything with them. I've also heard tell of certain Gooners enjoying this unfolding Greek tragedy, hoping that the results are just good enough to keep Conte on but not good enough to win silverware. Shameful stuff, that. Kind sir, you will find so such drivel here. Honest.

I only want what your club deserves. I want it to occupy its rightful place in the Prem, nothing more, nothing less. We both know where that place is—don't we, Danny? I hope I can count on you to follow up on this sage, well-weighted counsel. Trust me.

The Holy Trinity of making Man City drop points...

2023-03-21T20:11:00.005-05:00

I think I've hit upon a sacred secret that might just cause Man City's domestic campaign to unravel or at least fray a bit at the edges just enough to help us win the Prem for the first time in almost twenty years. It's a secret so decisive, so dastardly, so devastating that I almost feel bad divulging it. Then again, it's completely out of my control and already deployed, so why not spill the beans? Simply put, the powers that be should make Man City play matches every three or four days. Their history shows that they just can't handle it. Maybe they're jaded. Maybe they're bored. Maybe... I won't give voice to the third suspicion for fear or jinxing it. Trust me when I say that there's just enough in this to breathe new life and confidence into our campaign just ahead of the run-in.

Let's look at Man City's record this season playing a second match three or four days after the first:

followed a 6-0 drubbing of Nottingham Forest with a 1-1 draw away to Villa three days later.
followed a 4-0 thrashing of Southampton away with a scoreless draw away to FC Copenhagen three days later and a 1-0 loss at Anfield five days after that.
defeated Brighton 3-1 only to settle for a scoreless draw away to Dortmund three days later.
defeated Chelsea 2-1 in the League Cup and then lost 1-2 at home to Brentford three days later.
defeated Leeds 1-3 away and then drew 1-1 at home to Everton (pre-Dyche).
thrashed Chelsea 4-0 and then lost away to Southampton 2-0 in the League Cup three days later and a 2-1 loss at Old Trafford three days after that.
defeated us 1-3 only to lose 1-0 away to Tottenham three days later.
defeated us (yes, again) 1-3 before suffering a 1-1 draw away to Nottingham Forest three days later and another 1-1 draw away to RB Leipzig three days after that.

That's eight times—eight—that Man City, supposedly the deepest, most-experienced squad in all the land dating back to hallowed antiquity, has dropped points when playing a second match three days later. If their opponents in the second match were more impressive or intimidating, we could chalk off the result. However, look back at that list of second opponents: Aston Villa. FC Copenhagen. Brentford. Everton. Southampton. Nottingham Forest. In six of the eight occasions listed above, Man City were facing a vastly inferior opponent. Despite their depth, despite their experience, despite all of the other advantages they've had over their opponents, they'd dropped points.

April could be quite cruel.

Come April, after all, they'll no longer be facing sides just happy to have qualified for Champions League play or domestic opponents calming assesing their prospects. They'll be facing continental titans as well as domestic sides increasingly desperate to avoid relegation. They've drawn Bayern Munich, one of the favourties to win it all. The first leg is scheduled three days after a trip to face Southampton and four days ahead of hosting Leicester. Might Man City suffer one or even two misfortunes? Could they suffer nine separate misfortunes? But that will never happen. Three misfortunes? That's possible. Seven misfortunes? There's an outside chance. But nine misfortunes? I'd like to see that.

Sorry. Where was I? Ah, yes.

Their second leg comes just four days later and three ahead of their FA Cup tie with Sheffield United—that does us no good now, does it?—but it does force a rescheduling of their match against Brighton, making that two Prem ties to accomodate on an increasingly tight schedule. Even with that rescheduling, they'll have to host us just four days after playing Sheffield United. It's still April, in other words.

Should they advance to the Champions League semifinals, they'll have to play on 9 May and 16 May squeezing in between Prem matches three or four days on either side. There's still those rescheduled Prem matches against Brighton and West Ham to account for. In short, the fixtures will be coming fast and furious, and City's track record suggests that they'll probably drop more than a few points.

As much as I hate to resort to such banal, dull accounting. Trust me, I would much prefer to see us just barn-storming and swash-buckling our way to the title, destroying all those who stand before us much as we did to Crystal Palace at the weekend. For as much as I love this squad and this club, I do have to admit to looking over my shoulder like this. It's been a long time since we've been in this position, after all. We are in control of our own destiny, but just barely. We have the tougher domestic run-in with trips to Anfield, the Etihad, and St. James's Park.

There's nothing wrong with checking a rival's fixture list. We're hardly nineteen or twenty points clear of Man City (as we are of other erstwhile rivals), after all. Even if we fall short of the ultimate prize this time through, think back to where we were at similar points in previous seasons.

We've come a long, long way since those dark days of finishing eighth or hoping and praying that we'd win a Europa League title. We're on the brink of winning the Prem, a far-greater prize. It's just out of reach, somewhere between a Siren's song and the fruits and water that Tantalus craved. At a risk of extending the allusions to Greek myth just a little too far, it finally feels like we're no longer Sisyphus.

It feels like we may just have a chance at putting all three of those allusions to rest. Maybe, just maybe, we'll hold that trophy aloft...

20 of Arsenal's top goals (so far)!

2023-03-21T08:32:00.007-05:00

Already starving for Arsenal content? Check out Smiling Pig Studio's compilation of twenty of the best goals our lads have scored so far. Don't be shy about subscribing to the channel; there's plenty of other great Arsenal videos to be seen!

Before you go, why not vote for your favorite goal? Use the form below (if you're a mobile user and the form won't scroll, consider rotating your device): Loading…

Rivals' Roundup: can we skip ahead to Conte's diatribe?

2023-03-20T06:09:00.006-05:00

I'm seein' double here. Four Contes!

I'll admit that I had a hard time trudging through most of this, what with half of the top four fogging off to the FA Cup. Thankfully, there was enough to enjoy at our end in most of the results regardless of the competition to keep me interested if not engaged. This will be our last roundup for a few weeks as everyone jets off to international commitments of varying degrees of importance. Between now and the resumption of normal activities in two weeks, we get to enjoy an eight-point cushion over our nearest rivals, long may that last. Enough throat-clearing. Let's get to it.

1. Arsenal (22W 3D 3L: 69 pts.)
This one almost felt unfair. I stress the "almost". Aside from one or two early glitches that saw Zaha hit the post and Edouard getting through (but from an offside position), we flowed and danced and sluiced past Palace with more aplomb than we've seen in some time. While it's Saka's brace and assist that will seize all the headlines, we can't overlook Ben White, who not only pocketed Zaha for long, long stretches but also sprung (sprang?) Saka innumerable times, sometimes with long balls in behind and between Guehi and Mitchell but also with small short ones of no more than five or six yards. Saka feasted all day on that backline, but it was from White's service that the feasting was on offer. On a larger level, it started to feel like we were ought to vindicate Vieira, under whom the Eagles at least offered resistance. We're eight points clear with 10 to play. Still too early to be planning parades...

2. Man City (19W 4D 4L: 61 pts.)
Pep's minions took a break from Prem action to abuse Burnley in the FA Cup to the tune of a 6-0 scoreline. They may yet reel us in, but their fixtures are starting to pile up. No one looks remotely capable of stopping them in the FA Cup, and they did get a tricky UCL draw (Bayern). They'll play no fewer than nine matches in April, once every three or four days, and our 26 April visit may feel somewhat less daunting by then. Then again, when you have a squad as deep and as honestly bought and paid for as City's, fixture congestion is about as real a problem for them as FFP is. They now have a game in hand over us, which temporarily inflates our lead to eight points, but that match against West Ham will have to wait until May, by which point we may very well know who's won the Prem. We each play four Prem matches between now and 26 April when we visit the Etihad. Tick...tock...tick...tock...

3. Man U (15W 5D 6L: 50 pts.)
Before you scoff, remember that Man U have played just 26 matches and could close the gap to Man City to only five points if they win those. To be real, though, they're just treading water in the Prem while Spurs are like that drowning child in the swimming pool meme (more on that hot mess in a minute). To be even more real, though, it's a bit mad to think that they have a chance at winning a treble and will make sure to remind us all of each step they take towards winning the FA Cup and Europa League...which will make it all the more delicious when they fail on one or both fronts. At home against Fulham, they needed Willian, Mitrovic, and Silva to all get sent off before they could turn the tide in their favour. With Rashford's purple patch having ended, one has to wonder where the goals will come from against full-strength sides.

4. Tottenham (15W 4D 9L: 49 pts.)
Normally, I dread this section. It's like scrubbing a toilet or flossing one's teeth after neglecting the task for a few months. You know it's necessary, but that doesn't ease the distaste. Thankfully, the news is all of the delicious sort after Antonio Conte offered a mild and even-tempered assessment of the club's prospects in this season and into the foreseeable future. His mindset was in no way altered by the fact that his squad squandered a 3-1 lead, at home, to cellar-dwelling Southampton. I kid, I kid. The Italian made "scorched earth" look positively genteel, going off on a ten-minute diatribe in which he excoriated the club's history and culture, sparing no one except the fans themselves. It was truly astonishing, even for a man who's been trying to get sacked for weeks now. He really only said when almost all of us take to be true, but the truth may get lost in the hurt feelings he's inspired. It may have been a calculated attempt at lighting a fire under this players, but it felt more like taking a blowtorch and burning the whole place down. I might prefer a slower burn, but to each his own, I guess.

5. Newcastle (12W 11D 3L: 47 pts.)
Newcastle seem to have given up on their quixotic campaign at finishing in the top four with more draws than wins, based on their late-ish winner against Wolves last week and their very late winner against Nottingham Forest, Isak scoring from the spot in stoppage-time to again seize victory from the jaws of, uh...um...drawdom? You know what I mean. Don't make me work so hard for it. With two matches in hand over Tottenham, they have a better than even chance at climbing the ladder to fourth, all the more so now that the goals are more or less flowing, a relative term for a side that has only scored 39 goals, the lowest among the top-eight sides. If they can continue to score more than once per match, they'll surely overtake the flaming dumpster fire that currently occupies fourth.

6. Liverpool (12W 6D 8L: 42 pts.)
I honestly don't know what to make of this squad, and I challenge anyone else to make any sense of them either. Just a few weeks ago, an historic obliteration of Man U seemed to announce the Reds' resurrection. However, they then followed up on that with a meek 1-0 loss to Bournemouth. It's only a creditable second-leg 1-0 loss away to Real Madrid and the fact that they have also have two games in hand on Tottenham that I bother to write about them (and, let's be honest: Real didn't have to do much after winning the first leg 5-2 at Anfield). At a risk of reverse-jinxing myself here, I know that we have to go to Anfield ourselves soon. If I were to leave them out, I'd expose us all to some serious voudoo mindgames. We've seen what they're capable of when everything clicks as it should; this is still the side that came very, very close to a quadruple just a season ago. Woe betide those who underestimate them.

That's where we're leaving off for now. I think it's safe to say that we don't have much to fear from Brighton, Brentford, of Fulham even for as good as they've done for themselves. I feel like there used to be some other club, some other erstwhile rival that I've forgotten about, but I can't for the life of me recall its name. It feels like it's on the tip of my tongue. Ah well. If it were relevant, I'm sure I wouldnt't have such trouble. Until next time, then...

Ben White, the "White Back", and the box-to-box player...

2023-03-20T00:42:00.002-05:00

Benny Blanco admires the fruits of his labour...

Ben White has invented a new position. It's a position that confounds opponents and Southgate. What's more, it unleashes Saka's full potential. In the annals, we've yearned for a box-to-box midfielder in the mold of Patrick Vieira, but that's always only been a quixotic yearning. There will never be another like one. Into the breach has stepped our own Ben White, playing a role we haven't seen many (any?) players play before. While we've had a long time to get used to the overlapping fullbacks, White has taken the role to other dimensions entirely. Previously, full backs provided width by keeping their heels close to the touchline to offer an outlet to wingers. White has grafted to that role something closer to the box-to-box role that links defense to attack. Against Palace, he provided a clinic to devastating effect.

All of the headlines will go to Saka and Martinelli and for good reason. Saka scored twice and assisted Martinelli, becoming along the way the first player in the Prem to hit double digits for goals and assists. Martinelli is now just three goals from setting a new record for most goals scored by a Brazilian in a single season. However, we're really here to talk about White.

Yes, he provided the customary defense of his opposite number, largely pocketing Zaha for long stretches if not the entire match. That's the minimum for the job description. Yes, he provided width and support by getting up the pitch to offer himself to Saka. That expands somewhat on the job description but isn't anything special or revolutionary.

No, instead, what White brought to this match was on another level. On at least three occasions, he threaded a pass from around midfield between Guehi (CB) and Mitchell (LB), sending Saka through on goal. How do you defend a player as dangerous as Saka is with the ball at his feet when White can find that kind of space to thread the pass? Mitchell had no choice to but mark Saka closely, and this gave White that extra yard to make that pass from distance.

How to Negate Three Defenders 101

On at least as many occasions, White had the ball just outside the 18 with Saka wide. The safe, typical, and even predictable mood would have been to open his body to the touchline and find Saka in the wide area. Instead, White either turned inside as if to pass to Trossard, Partey, or Ødegaard, or he squared up to the goal. Defenders had no idea what to expect in either case. It was from this kind of situation that White claimed the "second assist", the pass that led to the pass that led to the goal. Having just nicked the ball from a visibly frustrated Zaha, White advances. He has Partey square, Ødegaard more central, and Saka ahead, marked more or less by three defenders. White gets Mitchell to commit to him and then feeds Saka, who turns and cuts the ball across for Martinelli to finish. Okay. So that's "typical" of a modern fullback.

There's more.

Needles get threaded with less precision.

For his assist on Saka's first goal, it was Saka wide as White occupied a more-central role, closer to where we might expect to see someone like Ødegaard. Seeing Saka make a run from that wide area, White plays an inch-perfect pass past his mark and ahead of Saka, and Starboy does the rest, curling it home. We're used to seeing a fullback get up the pitch to hoof in a cross; it's less-common to see a fullback assume the role of a #10, creating chances from a more-central position. The man's a menace. It's no wonder Southgate didn't select for this latest round of Euro qualifiers. He wouldn't know what to do with a defender who not only defends but attacks with such incision, nevermind what Italy or Ukraine would do.

Is there a name for this new role? We know the false nine and the inverted winger. Zinchenko has created the "tucked-in" fullback position, playing almost as another box-to-box midfielder. Based on his performance against Palace—one of many thus far—White may yet coin a new position all his own. Even if he doesn't, he's carved out a vital role in our ever-evolving attack. How do you solve a problem like Benny Blanco? Not only does he shut down opposing wingers, he unleashes our own. Please tell me again how his transfer fee was too much or why he doesn't get into the England squad ahead of Kieran Trippier or Kyle Walker. In the end, I don't much mind these considerations; I'd rather our man rest rather than risk injury. Still, you know how people are. They only recognize greatness when some other, external authority confirms it.

Eventually, and sometime soon, that other, external authority will confirm White's evolution. It will come later than it should, but that's better than never.

Do it for Vieira. Do it for Lokonga. Just do it!

2023-03-19T04:07:00.002-05:00

Eleven matches. Eleven. That's all that stands between us and Prem glory. There is but one path to follow. We really have no choice other than to fully commit to those eleven matches, and that commitment starts against Crystal Palace. Fortunately, they've made the choice crystal-clear after having sacked an Arsenal legend after refusing to back him. It would have been nice to see an Arsenal legend establish himself as a successful manager, all the more so given the meagreness of melanin among the managerial ranks, but that's another axe to grind on another day.

It wasn't so long ago that various Gooners were going mad for Vieira as a manager who'd be better than Arteta, and, while the jury might still be out, given the difference in each club's backing for their respective managers, we can only play the hand we're dealt. Vieira did as well as he could with his hand, which amounted to receiving three cards in a game of five-card stud. We'd gone over the silliness of his sacking in this post.

One of the longer-term setbacks to his sacking would be to the development of Lokonga, who had shown signs of progress under the tutelage of one of the greatest #8s of all time. Lokonga had a long ways to go before even entering the vestibule to join the wait-list of those who may or may not be on the shortlist of those who could pay the cover-charge of those who wanted to sit in the waiting room of the next great #8, but Lokonga had at least earned the Frenchman's respect. That could have gone a long way for Lokonga, but the way is shut. It might have been nice to see how much futher Lokonga could have grown, even if he really only had another six weeks or so with Vieira.

With all of this in mind, I'd like to state that I'm not a petty or vindictive man, and it's with that in mind that I'm relieved that my own petty grievances align with larger goals. We have no choice but to go into this match seeking no other result than a victory. Yes, one part of that is a desire to take all three points. However, another, almost-as-large large part of that is to see justice done not just to Vieira but also to Lokonga.

We have a chance to eight points clear, at least temporarily. Anyone needing any further motivation beyond us having been bounced from the Europa League might want to have their heads examined. Put simply, we simply have to smash Palace, and I'm past the point caring which reason we point to. Let's just get it done.

Former Gunners poppin' up to boost Arsenal's season...

2023-03-18T15:08:00.004-05:00

The Bird Catcher eyes his quarry.

Ok, so I'll be honest. It's a bit of a stretch to say that any former Gunners are helping us directly. After all, aside from Man City, the gap between us and other rivals has stretched to a yawning wide chasm. Still, it's usually if not always heart-warming to see our former players pop up to make a tidy contribution or two. None of them did us any favours in our own title-chase, but each of has offered some savory schadenfreude of various for us to enjoy. For each of them, there may even have been some of the good ol' "North London is Red" motivation...

For the first of our former players, it was Joe Willock serving up an assist for Isak to equalise against Nottingham Forest in a match that Newcastle would go on to win and come to within one point of Tottenham in fourth, heaping pressure on a side that has shown time and again that they'll do what they always do. It's worth adding that Newcastle hold not one but two games in hand over Tottenham, meaning that they could quite conceivably overtake Spurs without any further bottle-jobs from them.

All Tottenham had to do was to defeat Southampton, who are absolutely bottom of the barrel. It was all going according to plan as they took a 1-3 lead into the 75th minute. Southampton looked absolutely toothless...until none other than Theo Walcott came to life. Having already offered the assist to Che Adams for their first goal, Walcott finished about as coolly and calmly as a man who enjoys a good goal against Tottenham can be, tapping home after a scramble in the box to make it 2-3. Not to be outdone by Walcott, none other than Ainsley Maitland-Niles stole the show by jumping in front of Pape Sarr as the Senegal man kicked out wildly to clear. Reports indicate that a few molecules of his boot may have come into contact with a loose thread from Maitland-Niles's sleeve, and Simon Hooper pointed to the spot. When Ward-Prowse scored it, the capitulation was complete. Instead of restoring a four-point gap from Newcastle, they now cling precariously to a two-point gap. That just won't last very long against a Newcastle side that's starting to score more than a goal a month.

The only one-time Gunner who failed to complete his covert mission then was Alex Iwobi, but he also had the least opportunity to imfluence anything that matters. Chelsea are 28 points below us, after all. Iwobi apparently played well but couldn't make any contributions as dramatic as his former mates. Ah, well.

Of course, at the other end of things, in one way of looking at things, one former Gunner suffered a some rather shabby treatment as Crystal Palace sacked Patrick Vieira, something we discussed on Friday. We have no choice then but to do him a solid by thrashing the Eagles on Sunday. Not for us. For him. It would be a purely selfless act free of any self-serving side-effects. Right. Let's do it for Patrick.

Another new manager bounce? Come on...

2023-03-18T04:53:00.001-05:00

Surely there is some clause somewhere that limits the number of "new manager bounces" a side should have to face in any one season. After having to face Sean Dyche's "new look" Marmite management against Everton just a few weeks ago, it now looks we'll have to do something similar against Palace on Sunday after they axed our own legend Patrick Vieira. Rumour has it that they did it with all of the tact, good timing, and grace of a year 10 dumping his first girlfriend—Vieira apparently got the call at 7am as he was on his way to training. I'm not going to anything like suggest that this might just be emblematic of how Steve Parish runs his club nor will I suggest you look up the term apophasis.

Vieira was sacked in part due to an atrocious run of form that had absolutely nothing to do with three factors:

all 12 opponents were either in the top six or just outside it at the time Palace faced them.
Wilfried Zaha was injured for almost half those matches.
A serious lack of investment in the club from Parish.

I will say, some of the results did flatter Palace. Not only did they lose; they frequently played poorly and probably should have been put to the sword more thoroughly than they were. Still, any time you go three consecutive games without a shot on target is going to inspire some soul-searching. On the other hand, they still sit 12th, precisely where they finished last season—a finish that Parish called "respectable" even as he announced Vieira's sacking. Parish even used passive-voice quite artfully, adding that it "is with enormous regret that this difficult decision has been made", as if he wasn't the one who made that difficult decision. It just...happened. On its own.

The overwhelming sense one gets is that Vieira was doing as best he could with one or both hands tied behind his back—the club let the talismanic Conor Gallagher return to Chelsea without securing a like-for-like replacement and failed to recruit players in key areas. To his credit, Vieira rarely if ever fell back on his achievements as a player as a firewall. Despite that, it seems as if the fans had warmed to Vieira, with chants of "we've to super Pat Vieira" occasionally resrounding from Selhurst Park. If anything, Vieira may have fallen victim to his own success after raising expectations on the back of a run to the FA Cup semifinal and a strong finish to last season. That's all water under a bridge, apparently.

Ah, well. Come Sunday, under-21s coach Paddy McCarthy will take charge. Is he the kind of figure who will command respect and arouse inspiration? More to the point, should we add shabby treatment of an Arsenal legend to our list of reasons for battering our next opponent? Yes, I say; yes. Eleven matches stand between us and the Prem promised land. If we have to send Palace spiralling toward relegation, so be it.

Sporting just crowned Arsenal as Prem champions. Full stop.

2023-03-16T20:09:00.001-05:00

We should have been ready for Sporting to send Nayim on. We should have seen it coming. We didn't. Okay, so it wasn't Nayim but Pereira Gonçalves who scored what will surely go down as one of the greatest goals of Europa League history, chipping Aaron Ramsdale from 45 yards to level this second leg. From there, Sporting (it has to be said) outplayed us for most of the rest of the match and through stoppage time. Even though we had some dramatic late chances through Magalhães and Trossard, we really have to admit that it was our visitors who made the most of their chances and won this match.

We can rue the rules change that abolished the away-goals advantage, but that's weak sauce. We knew after the first leg the nature of the job we had to do, and we didn't do it. Really, for the first time, all season, we had it all to play for, and we came up short. There's nothing left to do but turn our attention back to the Prem with the intensity and determination and heat of a thousand suns. I'm not sure that the sun feels determination in any meaningful way, but I needed polysyndeton (___ and ___ and ___ ). It's a nifty syntactic tool.

For as dispiriting as this result—and for as potentially as infuriating as it may yet be to see Man U hoist silverware as a result—we know what this squad does after it's taken one on the chin. This is most decidely not a group of players that stays down. We're not Glass Joe, nor are we Bald Bull or even Super Macho Man. When we get knocked down, we get back up, angrier and hungrier and furiouser (please grant me that last made-up word). I feel sorry for Palace, already on the ropes after their twelve-match winless streak. They will bear the brunt of our fury, much to Patrick's dismay.

Let's get the practical, pragmatic, and boring part out of the way: now that we've crashed out, that's five fewer midweek matches that we have to (get to) play. Our exclusive focus now is on the eleven matches we have left. Previous iterations of this club would have wilted away like underwatered daisies under a hot Autumn sun. Withdrawn to lick wounds. Succumbed to despair. Folded faster than Superman on laundry day.

There's not a shred of that feeling in this squad, not under Arteta. There's a new belief, a new culture, a new spirit that radiates. Aside from the truly regrettable fact that we've missed out on a chance to win Europa League silverware, there's the secondary regret that this happens so hot on the heels of the international break. The time off might just dull the pain.

Then again...

Then again, some time alone might just hone that regret to a razor's edge, sharpening it to a point that allows the feeling to slice through any barrier or obstacle that stands in its way. For the first time in this squad's history, it's experienced the truly painful pangs of loss. Lose at Old Trafford? Fix that by rattling off a nine-match unbeaten streak. Lose to Man City? Win five of your next six. I know that I'm simplifying things here, but so too have Sporting.

We have one target left to play for: to win the Prem. We're past the point at which we might console ourselves by saying. "our target is a top-four finish", and we're past that point not because Man City still trail us by five points and have Champions League to pursue or because Man U are staring a 16 point gap square in the face while trying to win Europa League silverware.

I'll skip the obligatory quoting of Chumbawumba's "Tubthumping" because it may just sound like I've suffered an aneurysm. We're better than that. We're better than Hulk Hogan. Hell, wee're better than Rocky Balboa. We have a single, solitary goal, and, what's more, we have the hunger and the drive and the pride necessary to achieve it.

We lose as a team. We win as a team. Sometihng tells me that there's a lot more winning left for this squad to do. It resumes on Sunday. It shall continue far beyond that. It will resonate through the rest of this season and continue to reverberate through seasons to come. If you think for a second that Arteta, Saka, Saliba, Ødegaard, Martinelli, Ramsdale, Arteta or anyone else is going to wilt in the face of this setback, you haven't been paying attention. The legendary phoenix itself will look upon this moment with envy.

Mark my words.

Sorry, Kevin. Ødegaard is now the best midfielder in the Prem.

2023-03-15T14:23:00.000-05:00

Okay, okay, so to be clear, I should have gone with "currently" instead of "now". "Now" suggests a permanent status, a sense that Ødegaard has surpassed De Bruyne once and for all and has assumed the mantle of Best Midfielder in the Prem (although it is true that he and not De Bruyne took home Football London's Premier League Player of the Year award, something for which De Bruyne isn't even good enough to be eligible for...or something. I can't be bothered to look these things up. De Bruyne is far away from even meeting the minimum qualifications, and that alone tells you all you need to know about who's best. On a more-serious note, let's be clear: I'm not here to somehow prove that Ødegaard is actually better than De Bruyne. However, the fact that a reasonable comparison can be made that Ødegaard at age 23 is about as good as one can get without yet matching De Bruyne at age 31.

I'm not the only one making bold claims. That doesn't make me right; it just means I'm not alone. No less an authority than Jamie Redknapp has weighed in:

Right now, Ødegaard is the number one [midfielder in the Premier League].Normally you'd say De Bruyne is the best midfield player, not just in the Premier League but in the world. Something isn't quite right, he's not playing as many games as he'd like. But Ødegaard does this thing which all great players possess: it's like time stands still when he has the ball. The calmness he possesses. He's scored four or five goals like he did against Fulham, with that left foot. He's the captain, he's the leader. He's leading that team. When he hasn't got the ball he goes and presses it and it catches.

There you have it, folks. If you can't trust Redknapp, whom you can trust? More to the point, look back at the graphic up there. They have the same goal contributions (16). What's more, Ødegaard has more successful dribbles despite facing more pressure than De Bruyne. Sky Sports has a more-detailed statistical breakdown that I'm borrowing from here. Ødegaard's been pressured 510 times to De Bruyne's 336.He's dealt with defenders closer than two metres 466 times to de Bruyne's 248. Despite facing more pressure more often, Ødegaard completes passes at a higher rate (82.4% to 74.2%) although this does reflect that de Bruyne sends in more crosses and attempts longer passes on the whole, both of which are likely to cut into that accuracy.

Before I get bogged down into that stat-by-stat rundown, though, I want to return to the bigger picture. De Bruyne has spent most of his time in the Prem playing for and acting as the lynchpin for one of the biggest juggernauts in history. He's an immense part of why they've been so good; I'm not trying to take anything away from him. He might very well be my favorite non-Arsenal player. All I'm saying is that one can amass certain statistics passing to the likes of Sergio Aguero or, more recently, Erling Haaland. Ødegaard has faced the somewhat more-difficult task of coaxing goals out of Eddie Nketiah, Alexandre Lacazette, and late-stage, sulky Aubameyang.

The gap between Ødegaard and De Bruyne is still vast. Ødegaard is starting to narrow that gap, though. Aged just 23, he's only just now starting to plumb the depths of his considerable talent as are so many of the teammates he depends on. De Bruyne is much closer to the end of his career, making an already-imperfect competition even less precise. Different positions, roles, squads, ages...What's perhaps more clear is that we have on our hands a preternatural talent. I daresay we may soon have the most compleat & complete creative midfielder we've had since the great, the legendary, the magnificent Dennis Bergkamp. I normally shy away from breathless hyperbole, but this is one of those rare instances when such a comparison may sustain itself very well in the long run.

German club offer Arsenal a MASSIVE boost in the Prem!

2023-03-15T05:27:00.005-05:00

It's not often that we can count on a German club to offer us any help in any competition, least of all the Prem, but RB Leipzig fall on the proverbial grenade on Tuesday night by letting Man City walk all over them to the tune of a 7-0 thrashing (which is worse than a 3-0, mind). The Citizens advance to the Champions League quarterfinals courtesy of a 7-1 aggregate scoreline. At first, you might wonder, "what's this got to do with us? I mean, sure, we'll have to play Man City, and maybe the fixture congestion will get to them?" Oh, my small-minded friend, how I wish you had the vision and foresight that I have. It's a burden, even a curse, I tell you, but one that I bear without complaint or criticism. No need to thank me.

Put simply, Pep is obsessed with winning a Champions League trophy. Despite his decorated career, he's only won it twice, both with Barcelona. It's been 11 years since he hoisted this trophy despite spending almost his entire career with a transfer budget that has frequently exceeded that of most if not all of the other clubs in the league in which he found himself. Despite his enviable (and maybe even admirable, depending on your assessment of how clubs spend "their" money) domestic record in La Liga, the Bundesliga, and the Prem, the Champions League has been his white whale, his Waterloo, his...I can't think of a third "W" reference to complete the alliteration and the asyndeton. If only the Charge of the Light Brigade had occured somewhere other than Sevastopol...

As to Guardiola himself, he's left no doubt as to his legacy at Man City. Questioned about his failure to lead City to Champions League victory, here's what he said:

It’s public opinion [that my legacy here will be judged on whether we win the Champions League]. It doesn’t mean I agree with that, but, absolutely, I’ll be judged on that. Since I arrived here, ahead of the first game in the Champions League, the first time sitting before the media, people said I was here to win the Champions League.

Of course, he hasn't won the Champions League. For as much as his squad has dominated the Prem, they've only ever made it to the final once in Pep's six years, losing 0-1 to Thomas Tuchel's Chelsea in 2021. Despite his declamations, it seems clear that it eats at Pep to have gone so long and spent so much of other people's money without winning this prize. The further that Man City progress in the Champions League, the better it is for us. Yes, that squad is deep, but the Eye of Guaron (okay, that's a stretch but bear with me) now turns to Atatürk. For the unwashed Philistines, that's the site of the 2023 Champions League Final. Try to keep up, will ya?

So RB Leipzig rolled over for us. Man City advance to the quarterfinals. Should they advance, the fixtures will start to add up. While it's too much to hope that the quarterfinals will interfere directly with their preparation for our visit on 26 April—the UCL second leg is scheduled for 18/19 April—anything can happen. Is it too much hope that Guardiola's focus will turn almost exclusively to this elusive prize? Man City could do a Liverpool and follow a famous 7-0 win with a meek 0-1 loss. Liverpool can summon that same 7-0 spirit and thrash Guardiola's minions at the Etihad, either result greasing the skids on our slalom towards the title. It's not that far-fetched if you don't think all that much about it. Vibes, y'all; vibes.

I know that I'm grasping at straws here, and that bespeaks a certain uncertainty around our chances. However, I don't think that my reach exceeds my grasp. If we can keep playing as we've been playing of late, we may not need any help from RB Leipzig or Liverpool or whomever Man City draw in the next round of the Champions League. We of course have some Europa League business to attend to on Thursday and, it is hoped, our own fixture congestion to consider.

If this is what it's like to want to have our cake and eat it too, I'm all for it. Bring it on.

Pressing questions after Arsenal SWEEP the Football London Awards...

2023-03-14T05:07:00.002-05:00

The fact that Arsenal dominated the Football London Awards is on one hand a cause for pride. It's not for nothing after all that we saw this club win four different awards—Player Of The Year, Young Player Of The Year, Goalkeeper Of The Year, and Manager Of The Year—we are top of the league (saywearetopoftheleague). On other hand, it does raise certain philosophical questions, questions of an epistemological orientation: what does it mean for a club to win so many individual player awards while also winning the managerial award? Does not one cancel out the other? How can a manager of the year steward so many players of the year? Should we not see a superb manager of inferior player win, or, vice versa, superb players succeed despite an inferior manager?

I'll admit to a certain ulterior motive here. I'm skeptical of the Guardiolas and Mourinhos and Contes of the world whose tactics depend on having established, world-class (or close to it) players at just about every position. It's with that bias admitted up-front that I relish the fact that it's not just our players receiving accolades. It's Arteta as well. We'll circle back to that in a few minutes, depending on your reading speed.

Certain managers depend on finished products for their tactics to work. They demand massive financial investments in order to win now. This does require certain skills that are in short supply: it's not easy to convince the massive egos that come with such talent to commit themselves to the team ethic. Witness PSG: they've become a caricature of what massive investment can buy without achieving anything of significance. Yes, winning domestic silverware is all well and good when just about every other side you face consists of players with actual jobs during the working week, but when the chips are down against actual competition, well...the results speak for themselves.

PSG are an outlier of sorts. A closer analogy or two can be found closer to home if we look at Arteta, Guardiola, and Ten Hag. Guardiola, of course, insists on the finished product and will suffer no compromises in the quest for the best. The results largely speak for themselves. At an opposite pole is Ten Hag, who has been given various finished products, a few projects, and unlimited funding. His results are, shall we say, mixed at best.

That brings us to Arteta, Saka, Ramsdale, and Ødegaard. It's rare that you see a novice manager bring out so much of the best from so many diamonds in the rough. While it's true that great things were expected from Ødegaard from none other than Guardiola. fewer predicted the same from Saka and even fewer from the twice-relegated Ramsdale. What does it tell you when a manager wins this kind of award while also seeing three of his players win this award? In many cases, it would tell you that an experienced manager has splurged on world-class players. In this particular case, it's a novice manager who's splurged all of about £47m on all three (well, two not counting Hale End product Saka). Not only did Arteta bring in Ødegaard and Ramsdale, he's created a situation that has brought out their best as well as that of Saka as well.

Can you really say the same of Guardiola, Mourinho, or Conte? Who among them has plucked a player out of obscurity and turned him into a world-beater? Even if you could, that player would be an outlier. Speaking of outliers, I'll go out on a limb on this wager: give Arteta and any of these other managers a fixed transfer & wage budget tp build a squad from scratch—and I'd bet my house an Arteta every single time.

It's not just those three, either. I'll rattle off a few names, and you ask yourself how well they've done under Arteta: White. Saliba. Martinelli. Magalhães. Xhaka. Zinchenko. Trossard. Nketiah. Really, the only name we might exclude would be Partey. Each of these others has exceeded expectations. We've spent most of the season not only top of the league but top of the league with the youngest XI. That speaks volumes about the quality in the squad, but it speaks volumes more about the man at the top who's brought these players in and instilled a winning mentality from top to bottom.

In most other years, eyebrows are raised askance when a manager and many of his players take home these kinds of honours. It's tricky at best to believe that the best manager would also have the best players as well, after all. This year, though, it feels fitting to take home all these trophies.

Let's hope it also feels like a foreshadowing.

Anatomy of a goal, or "21 passes, one goal"

2023-03-13T01:10:00.001-05:00

I was going to lead with that second title, but it reminded me of something involving two people and a cup, so I went with something a bit more high-brow. If you want low-brow, somebody just wrote a bawdy limerick on the men's room wall. Go ahead. I can wait. Anyway, the story of our second goal, the one that broke Fulham's back and put the match out of reach, is a story of 21 passes spread across 71 seconds, give or take, with outfield player involved at least once. Zinchenko even thought to initate the backheel sequence in the early going.

Xhaka's all alone as Fulham overcommit to their left.

After bit of the ball pinging around, Trossard settles it. At this point, Fulham have six players in our half. We recycle possession a bit, pressing forward only to withdraw a bit, testing and probing to see how Fulham react. By the time Saliba receives the ball inside the 18 (for the second time), Fulham have now committed seven players into our half, two of them inside the 18 and six in the upper left quadrant (and a seventh withdrawing). Their press is overcommitted to their left, leaving Xhaka all alone on Fulhams's right. Saliba finds him and the break is on. You can see Xhaka at the very bottom of this second photo, beckoning for the ball. There's not a Fulham defender within a country mile, allowing Saliba to switch the field without worrying that Tete will pull a Bellerin and intercept the long pass and charge in on goal.

Xhaka presses ahead, Fulham are stretched.

With Fulham having committed those seven to the left flank, they've left just three to defend. That seventh player manages to recover, but Xhaka is now spearheading a five-on-four break with Trossard false-nining to his left, Martinelli central, Ødegaard to his right, and Saka wide right. Tete can't figure out whom he should commit to, Trossard wide or Xhaka probing the inside channel with the ball. By rights, Toson should close down on Xhaka so that Tete can mark Trossard, but this doesn't happen. Worse, Tete has turned inside, showing his back to Trossard and losing sight of him. Xhaka exploits this by playing the ball just behind the defender, and the chance is on.

Leno barely fits in the frame.

Trossard rinses Tete with a tight left turn and floats a cross into the box. It's at this point that our fluidty and incisiveness mesh with Fulham's being at sixes and sevens. They've taken up something resembling a zonal marking system, but neither Toson nor Ream have anyone to mark. Leno overcommits to his right as if Trossard would should from such a tight angle. Never good in the air, he's now fatally out of position. Worse, Robinson, whom Saka and Martinelli terrorised by varying degrees, has taken up a "position" on the wrong side of Martinelli. Martinelli is alone four yards from goal, surrounded by four defenders. He's the only one who's ever getting a touch on the ball as it slowly drifts his way. Robinson ducks, perhaps hoping to pull a Kane by undercutting Martinelli. Ream never reacts to the ball. Leno shows too much to his left (in fact, he's just a shade right of center as Martinelli nods home.

This is the kind of purposeful possession we lacked under Wenger. All too often, we would dominate possession only for opponents to sit back and absorb the pressure. It's something we struggled with under Arteta before he could drill his tactic into his squad. Instead of squeezing our opponents deeper and deeper into their own third, in effect parking their bus for them, we're getting better at drawing them out, enticing them further and further away from their goal as they chase the ball and maybe an equaliser, and hit with a lightning-fast counter. One doesn't often equate dominating possession with hitting on counters, but that's what we've seen here.

Of course, it's one thing to pull this off against the likes of Fulham. It would be quite another to do the same against Newcastle, Liverpool, or Man City. We may just want to hold these cards closer to the vest until we go to Anfield, the Etihad, or St. James' Park...

Rivals' Roundup: and then there were two...

2023-03-12T18:34:00.002-05:00

We've winnowed the wheat from the chaff, it seems will soon let the chips fall where they lay. If you've come here for consistency, away with thee. I shall mix my metaphors as I see fit. With just less than one-third of the season ahead and two-thirds behind us, it's almost time to say once and for all that this is now a two-horse race. It's the bout to knock the other guy out. Let's See Who's Bad at the Etihad. And so on. What I'm getting at is that there is now an eleven-point gap between second and third place, and while similar gaps have been traversed, it's looking less and less likely to happen here. Let's be honest: there are only two clubs that have shown enough consistency and ruthlessness to be in the conversation. Still, I've committed to a template, so I must soldier on.

1. Arsenal (21W 3D 3L: 66 pts.)
Since losing at home to Man City just under a month ago, we've now rattled off five league wins on the bounce, none of them more convincing than Sunday's evisceration of Fulham, who were supposed to be made of sterner stuff than this but who conceded three assists to Leandro Trossard (which, I'm told, translate to three goals conceded along the way). When I can get away with saying that a 0-3 halftime scoreline flatters our hosts, you know things were going our way. It could very well have been five or even six. It's been a while since we've simply outclassed an opponent. Even if Fulham looked to be out to sea for most of this one, they're a decent side with a chance at a European spot next season. To have carved them open six ways from Sunday sends a strong signal to the one side that can still overtake us. With Gabriel Jesus working his way back to match fitness after missing 12 matches, we're gathering strength at just the right time.

2. Man City (19W 4D 4L: 61 pts.)
You would think that a squad that boasts of having the likes of Haaland, Foden, Mahrez, de Bruyne, Silva, Gundogan, and Grealish would simply obliterate squads with their fearsome firepower. You would be wrong. Instead, the Greatest Squad Completely Ethical Money Can Buy had to resort to Gundogan more-or-less convincingly bamboozling referee Robert Jones into awarding City a penalty. Whilte technically the correct call, it's the kind of thing that makes me renew my objection to these pointless pens informally now and by affidavit later, time permitting. There really should be some kind of sliding scale for these situations, taking into account a squad's salary compared to its opponent. In this case, Haaland should have had to take the pen from outside the 18 on a pop-up goal. My affidavit must be tied up in bureaucratic red-tape though. Man City march mirthlessly onward if not upward.

3. Man U (15W 5D 6L: 50 pts.)
Something shocking and even scandalous has happened at Old Trafford, and I'm sure that heads will roll on Monday. Not only did David Coote book Lisandro Martinez, he had the audacity to issue a straight red to Casemiro—just the second of the Brazilian's otherwise paladin-like, pure as the driven snow career. Are you not outraged yet at this worst miscarriage of justice? Well, hold onto your hats, ladies and gentleman, for the catalogue of horrors is not complete until I add to it the horrifying—I'm almost afraid to give voice to it, it's so awful—failure of Coote to award Rashford a pen after he was cruelly and savagely brought down in the box while the ball was entirely under his control as he was through on goal. There was so much contact that I"m surprised bones didn't break. I'm sure that the good people will rise up against this injustice. One does not drop points at home to Southampton, after all.

4. Tottenham (15W 3D 9L: 48 pts.)
Well, well, well. Look who's come crawling back to something remotely resembling relevance. Looks like 4th place is back on the menu, boys—and that's a trophy worth winning given that Spurs crashed out of the FA Cup against a side known as [checks notes] Sheffield...United? Did I say that right? They ~~also face the tricky task of trying to get past AC Milan after a scoreless first-leg draw at home~~ were also bounced out of the Champions League 1-0 on aggregate. Domestically, Kane bravely took the pen that could have allowed Richarlison to break his duck because, after all, one's pursuit of individual records is clearly more important than helping a teammate kick-start his campaign. Spurs bravely fought past a Forest side that's won just once away from home all season, finding a zen-like balance between results that inspire Conte and Kane to leave in the summer and results that tempt them to stay.

5. Newcastle (11W 11D 4L: 44 pts.)
Okay. I admit that I owe Toon an apology. I had pencilled Liverpool in for fifth as I drafted this, thinking "who loses to Bournemouth? Nobody, that's who" only for them to go ahead and do exactly that. Then, the Magpies shocked the world by scoring not one but two goals to defeat Wolves, the first time in nine matches and just the ninth time all season that they've score more than a single goal in a match. The win puts a dent in their daring attempt at finishing in the top four with more draws than wins. There are worse ways to make history, but I for the life of me can't think of what they are. To be less wry, their defensive prowess is enough to keep them relevant; if they can manage to start scoring more than 1.48 goals for match, they might just be able to overtake Tottenham. They do have two matches in hand, after all. I'm not saying I want that to happen. I'm torn between wanting to see Tottenham implode and Newcastle not succeed

6. Liverpool (12W 6D 8L: 42 pts.)
Having won the first leg 9-0, Liverpool needed only to avoid an historic 10-0 collapse to advance to the round of 16, and—oh. I'm told that this doesn't apply and

That's where we're going to have to call it. I can't type all day, and I'm sure you're reaching the limits of your willingness to read more folderol. Besides, if I go ahead and include Liverpool, I have to consider adding Brighton, just three points behind with two games in hand. I'm going to have to put my foot down. If something dramatic happens and one of these sides outside the top five find a way to start taking four or five points from each match, that might change the conversation. It's us and Man City chasing the title with a pack of scavengers fighting for the scraps. I can live with that.

All Hail Leandro Trois-sard!

2023-03-12T12:12:00.013-05:00

Well, that escalated quickly. Before the match, Leandro Trossard was a doubt, facing a late fitness test after also having missed the trip to Lisbon. Fast forward about 45 minutes from kickoff, and Trossard had notched tree assists and was unlucky not have more but for some wasteful finishing from his mates. He probably should have had a goal or two to his name, but let's not be churlish. Thanks in large part to his false-nining his way about the pitch, Fulham were thoroughly discombobulated to the point that Martin Ødegaard had time to take four touches in the box on his way to scoring our third goal of the half. This made Trossard the first player in Prem history to get a hat trick of asissts in the first half of an away game.

He's also the first to get a hat-trick of goals and assists in a single Prem campaign since our own Santi Cazorla did the same in 2012-13. He's now gone for three goals and three assists since coming over from Brighton in January, eclipsing the production of Mudryk (£88m fee, one assist), Richarlison (£60m fee, nada), and Cody Gakpo (£40m, four goals) combined. His £20m fee looks better by the week, and if he were to keep this up, we might just asking ourselves whether we really need Jesus.

Kidding. For breathlessly as we've waited for Jesus's return, we'd be remiss to overlook how vital Trossard has been. At first, we relied on Eddie Nketiah, who did his best after the post-World Cup restart, scoring four goals in his first five appearances. He was a bit of a square peg in a round hole, more of a poacher who preferred to stay central to finish than a false nine like Jesus. Enter Trossard. Since his signing, he's become Arteta's first choice "striker". He plays a role more similar to Jesus, drifting wide (especially to the left, his "ancestral" position). Like Jesus, he floats about, challenging defenders to decide how to, well, defend against him. It's no accident then that all three of his asissts came from the left wing (one being a corner, the other two as crosses from open play). Highlighting his fluidity, his best scoring chances came from shots he look to the right of the penalty spot.

What's more, he seems to bring out the best from Martinelli, who frequently looked isolated as he waited for Nketiah to make space. Now that Trossard has given license to roam, Martinelli has sparked back to life. In the same five matches in which Trossard has started at centre-forward, Martinell has gone for five goals, two from Trossard's assists. At a risk of slating Nketiah, Martinelli had gone the preceding five matches without a single goal. While that's not Nketiah's fault, it does highlight how much better Martinelli works when he plays alongside more of a false nine.

Let's admit it: we were all underwhelmed and some of us bitterly disappointed when we "settled" for Trossard while our rivals went for sexier signings whom we had courted to varying degrees. In the long run, the likes of Mudryk and Gakpo will probably prove their current doubters wrong. Unlike Trossard, they're both young, adjusting to a new squad and league, and feeling pressure to justify their fees. Trossard is experienced, Prem-proven, and feeling less pressure. Like the signing of Jorginho, we didn't desperately need young, attacking players. We needed someone who could provide cover, depth, and competition while we waited for Jesus to return. The fact that we find ourselves still five points clear after Jesus missed 12 matches is a credit to Trossard (and to Nketiah before him).

We're gathering strength and momentum. Trossard's done more than hold down the fort. He's raised the squad right as Jesus returns, allowing the Brazilian to come on late in a match we had already put to bed. It's starting to feel like we could just get something out of this season...

Gabriel Jesus is in contention for Craven Cottage!

2023-03-11T15:46:00.001-06:00

An unconfirmed photo of Charles Watts at London Colney.

Or so says Charles Watts. After rumours that Jesus would make the trip to Portugal for Thursday's Europa League clash, we'd do well to take any such reporting with a hefty grain of salt. Still, Watts is know for having his ear to the ground, and it wouldn't be the first time he'd gotten the scoop ahead of other ITK types or official sources. Even if he only makes the bench, it would signify a massive boost at a key point in our campaign. Man City's plucky win over Palace has narrowed the gap to just two points with just 12 matches to play.

For as much as we've coveted Jesus's return, it's worth pointing out that we were five points clear of Man City when the entirely legitimate and not-at-all unseemly Winter World Cup in the wintriest of countries politely paused football for about a month. After 14 matches, we were on 37 and City were on 32 points. Even if Jesus is only a back-bencher who never takes off his puffy coat, his presence will surely lift the spirits of those who have soldiered on so bravely in his absence. Feet will feel lighter; lungs, fuller; eyes, sharper. Goosebumps will arise in the electrifying knowledge that we're gathering strength and marshalling troops.

It's doubtful that Fulham's players will make much of a fuss—unless the Brazilian does doff that puffy coat and start limbering up. The away fans will raise such a ruckus that they'll be forced to glance nervously over. Is he really about to come on? Eyes will roll like those of a spooked horse. Maybe a clearance is mishit. Maybe a runner is left unmarked. Maybe...

Okay, okay, so I'm getting ahead of myself here. Fulham are full of trained professionals who won't simply go to pieces if Jesus puts on a pinnie and starts trotting up and down the touchline.

In his pre-match presser, Arteta was a bit coy about his plans regarding Jesus. Instead of offering a definitive answer, Arteta said this:

The reality is when he's started to do some activities, he's still feeling that he needs a little bit of time. Is it a matter of days? Hopefully, yes. The moment he is ready, he will be thrown onto the field...The timescale that he had has been respected and it's now more about his feelings and he actually demands he wants to be part of it.

Those are not the words of a coach who is content to twiddle his fingers and glance at the clock, letting out a sigh. He knows that Jesus has got to be aching to play. if he felt that Jesus was not ready—and Arteta has been extraordinarily cautious about bringing players back from injury—I doubt he would even name Jesus as a sub. Should he do so, it only be a matter of time before Jesus "demands he wants to be part of it". Lke most competitors, he won't want to sit idly by and watch. He'll want to play. He's missed about one-third of the season. He'll want to make up for lost time. He'll want to score.

I'm not saying he'll put in a full 90 or even play a half. Let's hope we see him come on in the 70th minute to help solidify an 0-2 lead, maybe adding some gloss with a late goal. That would be a tidy way to announce his return...

Michael Oliver just can't stop helping the Arsenal, can he?

2023-03-10T17:26:00.000-06:00

Just don't mention Martinelli.

Michael Oliver and bookings that benefit the Arsenal. Name a more-iconic duo. Well, you've probably already named several as I make light of Oliver's inflated reputation dating back to his sending Di Maria off lo these many years ago. Well, lightning, or at least a middle-aged man with pale skin, has struck twice, It seems ages ago, but Michael Oliver showed Fulham star João Palhinha a yellow card during Fulham's match against Wolves way back on 24 February. That was his tenth yellow card of the season, and thanks to rules changes, he'll serve the second of his two-match suspension on Sunday.

Prior to the 2019-20 season, Palhinha would have missed Fulham's FA Cup tie against Leeds and the second against Brentford. Since then, however, yellow cards don't carry over into the Leage Cup or FA Cup, and yellow-card suspensions are served in the competition in which the cards are earned. I'm not sure how I like the new rule, but it does work to our advantage here. That translates to "I like the new rule" for those keeping score at home. To those who accuse me of bald-faced cynicism, I say unto thee, "I'm not bald yet."

More seriously, Palhinha's absence carves out a rather-large hole in the middle of Marco Silva's midfield. The defensive midfielder has easily been among the best signings of this season and has been instrumental in spearheading Fulham's campaign to secure continental competition. He leads the Prem in tackles per 90 at 4.2. For Fulham, he's second for aerials won per match (2.1 to Mitrovic's 4.3) and shares the top spot for interceptions per match at 1.5. Despite having only joined Fulham this summer, other clubs such as Tottenham and Newcastle have already been reported as interested in prying him away.

In Palhinha's absence, Silva will proably have to play Saša Lukić and Harrison Reed as DMs, something he tried against Brentford with mixed results as the Bees won 3-2 (Fulham scoring a late consolation goal deep into stoppage time to make the scoreline look a little better for them). We know Reed, more or less, but Lukić is still wet behind the ears, having played just 121 minutes after joining Fulham on 31 January. The Serbian may be recognisable as one of those who went after Granit Xhaka after Xhaka trolled Serbia's during the World Cup, but Lukić's role seems to have been more of a peacekeepr, at least in contrast to Milenkovic, who shoved Xhaka; or Milinković-Savić, who grabbed Xhaka by the throat, but I digress.

Back to Palhinha, it's worth pointing out that Fulham have lost both matches that he missed, that 3-2 to Brentford and a 1-4 loss to Newcastle after his fifth yellow card back when Newcastle were still a midtable side. I'm not saying that past is prologue, but the portents are pretty good. We'd better make the most of the opening Oliver's offered us here.

It's happened again, it's happened again, Tottenham Hotspur, it's happened again...

2023-03-10T01:37:00.000-06:00

He'll probably get fined for this.

Okay. So we underperformed in Portugal, coming away with a 2-2 draw away. We've left it all to do in the second leg. Still, we have a better than even chance at advancing, and that's more than can be said of our noisome neighbours to the north. In the immortal words of Wojciech Szczęsny, it's happened again; it's happened again; Tottenham Hotspur, it's happened again. While we're still alive and kicking in our continental competiion, our erstwhile rivals have been bounced out, having failed to score even one goal to keep the tie with AC Milan alive. They're done. Dusted.

Pick up the prayerbooks. Their season is all but over. It's almost time to schedule the newest occasion of St. Totteringham's Day. Of course, there's still a fair amount of football to play, and it's still mathematically possible for Spurs to finish above us. For example, if they win every single one of their remaining matches, they could finish on 81 points. If we drop 18 points from our remaining 12 matches, we'd finish on 81 as well but would presumably slip due to an inferior goal-difference. In other words, we can't quite count our chickens or our cockerels on a beachball before they've hatched.

On the other hand, it would be hard to draw a starker contrast between the two clubs from the end of last season. While we staggered to the finish line, Spurs surged ahead and claimed the coveted fourth-place position. Fast-forward to now, and we're fighting not to finish fourth but to finish first. Spurs, meanwhile, are fighting tooth and nail to finish fourth. Well, "tooth and nail" might be a bit extravagant, given the results they've suffered of late. Over the last eight days, they've been bounced out of the FA Cup by Championship side Sheffield United, lost away to Wolves in the Prem, and crashed out of the Champions League. It has to feel like their "golden age" is turning out to be little more than a thin veneer of gold spray-paint or perhaps hastily scrawled crayon. Aside from appearing in that one Champions League final, they have precious little to show for it and may have to blow up the squad to start from scratch. During the same time, we've won three FA Cups.

Conte is almost assuredly gone come summer, making him the second world-class-ish manager to have failed to win silverware with the club. The curse is real. Daniel Levy, if you're here, first things first: you have more-important things to spend your time on than reading this blog. Secondly, you have to sell Kane and Son. They're really your only marketable assets. Here's the painful part. you'll have to spend the money those transfers bring in. Frankly, Danny, you make Arsène look like a drunken sailor when it comes to spending. Sell that pair for something like £300m and reinvest in five or six players. Even that might not be enough.

Tottenham look and feel like a sinking ship. The players don't play with passion. The manager is chained to overly cautious tactics. Speaking after the debacle on Wednesday, Richarlison put it better in five words than I could put it in 500: "this season has been sh*t". They're clinging desperately to fourth with a resurgent Liverpool just three points behind and with a game in hand. I wish we could throw them an anchor. Unfortunately, we've already done a double on them, so there's not much more we can do other than to sit back, have a pint, and enjoy watching this upended turtle wiggle its legs in the air in a vain attempt to right itself.

Before any Spursy-types accuse me of letting their club live rent-free in my head, let me remind you all of the endless braying and boasting after you hoodwinked Conte in taking the wheel and of the similarly endless caterwauling about Richarlison, he of the zero Prem goals, being a better signing than Jesus. I'm pretty sure that this one solitary blogpost pales in comparison to the pages and pages of pointless preening coming from the other side.

Then again, who am I to kick someone when they're down? They're kicking themselves right out of relevance all on their own. St. Totteringham's Day isn't a trophy, but it does seem to restore the proper order of things.

Sporting 2-2 Arsenal: How very "group-stagey" of us...

2023-03-09T18:30:00.003-06:00

Well, we've left it all for the second next week against a spirited Sporting side that bears absolutely no resemblance to the dour, stubborn, play-for-a-draw opponents we faced way back in the 2018-19 Europa League group stage. Rúben Amorim has set his players up to get up the pitch and attack, and we did them too many favours, both through an XI that looked more like, well like a Europa League group stage XI. Mat Turner was between the sticks with new signee Jakub Kiwior making his debut alongside Saliba and Vieira and Nelson starting among other regular starters. This really should have been enough to do better, but we were too loose and will have to be more confident and clinical next week at the Emirates.

Saliba's towering header 22 minutes in looked likely to set us on an easy path to a win, but we'll have to settle for having scored two away goals, giving us a bit of an advantage. Sporting will have to win (or draw in a six- or eight-goal thriller) in order to advance. It's likely that Arteta had one eye on a tricky trip to Craven Cottage on Sunday, resting Partey and Magalhães while leaving Jesus, Tierney, and Ødegaard in London to allow them to recuperate from various ills.

It's not that we didn't have chances. We created plenty. Fabio Vieira, perhaps feeling invigorated upon his return to face an old Portuguese foe, had his tail up and was creating chance after chance. It's a shame for his confident as well as the restul that he ended with just the one assist on Saliba's goal. Martinelli was dangerous through the middle, coming close to an amazing solo goal when he picked the ball up and charged more than half the length of the pitch, shrugging off two or three tackles before finally being denied by a desperate but well-timed last-ditch tackle. Had he scored, it would have been Henry-esque, or at least Walcott-ish.

It's not that they didn't have chances, either. Turner was left with altogether too much to do, too many saves to make, and too many mistakes to commit as well. It might have been a bit too much to ask of Kiwior to make his first start away from home, but that doesn't excuse how generous we were in conceding chances against a side we should have been able to manage far better than we did. In addition to feeling relieved that we managed to score two important away goals and only concede twice, we'll have the added bonus of Sporting's captain Sebastian Coates sitting out the second leg after being booked for a dust-up with Zinchenko (who was also booked).

Something tells me Arteta will name a stronger XI for that second leg in order to find an early lead rather than sending players on late to find goals as he did here with Partey and Magalhães. Hosting Palace the following Sunday gives him a bit more leeway as will having Nketiah, Trossard, Tierney, Ødegaard, and maybe even Jesus available. It's too early to state as fact that we'll advance to the quarterfinals with ease, but, for as much as we might be disappointed in the result, Sporting are no mugs. In this season's Champions League group stage, they thrashed Europa League holders Frankfurt 0-3 and beat Spurs 2-0 back when that might have felt impressive...but were undone by an inability to make those results in the reverse fixture.

Long story short, while a clean sheet would have been nice, we should feel confident that we have it in our power to advance without getting overconfident. Right. That sets the appropriate tone. We have that trip to Craven Cottage to prepare for.

Arsenal are RUN-AWAY favorites to win the Europa League!

2023-03-08T19:22:00.004-06:00

Click to expand. Or don't.

After years of being a veritable meme of a club for whom a fourth-place Prem spot was a "trophy" we are now the odds-on favourites to win not only the Prem, but apparently the Europa League as well (not that any of use believe any of this for a second. In most of our minds, winning either one seems like a far-flung fantasy believed by only the feverish few). Well, count FiveThirtyEight among the feverish, for they've made us the odds-on favourites to win it all.

Of course, a statistical regression analysis is only good for making prophecies, not fulfilling them. We do have after all a tricksy opponent in Sporting CP to contend with, and they may prioritise this competition given that they have little chance of closing the 15 point-gap to Benfica in the Primeira Liga. It's with that in mind that we can thank Bournemouth, whom we may have underestimated and who very nearly completed the smash-and-grab. There will be little risk of us underestimating anyone after that. What's more, the inspirational boost that we'll derive from fighting back to win in such dramatic fashion will surely carry over into subsequent matches...which includes none other than Sporting.

At a risk of contradicting the entire paragraph that I just wrote (and that, presumably, you just read), let's look at what FiveThirtyEight are saying. According to that chart, we have a 24% chance of winning the whole thing, almost double Man U's 13%. Whether these numbers might change as a result of Man U's evisceration at the hands (well, feet...) of Liverpool is an open question. A possibly more-pertinent question is "how will Man U react to humiliation?" They have precious little time to shake off the throbbing collective headache they've suffered before facing Real Betis on Thursday. Betis sit fifth in La Liga, which would seem to make them tougher opponents than Sporting, who sit fourth in the Primeira Liga.

Assuming the two of us advance to the quarterfinals, the draw will tell us a lot more than FiveThirtyEight's chart does. Maybe we'll draw Ferencváros while Man U draw, say, Leverkusen (just kidding. That's impossible. Just checking to see if you're paying attention). We draw Union SG and Man U get Leverkusen. It's unlikely that the draw will favour us quite that much, but bear with me here. We'd be offered an easy path to the semifinal while one of Man U or Leverkusen knocks the other out, clearing the path of one of the tougher teams left in the competition. At some point, of course, we'd have to come up against tougher competition, but there's nothing wrong with pondering the possibilities.

Speaking of possibilities, we may also find ourselves having to navigate Scylla and Charybdis. We arguably don't have to the squad depth or margin for error to defend our narrow lead in the Prem while also chasing Europa League glory. Domestically, we have a tough challenge this coming weekend at Craven Cottage, and there are still trips to Anfield (9 April), the Etihad (26 April), and St. James' Park (6 May to consider. Europa League quarterfinals are scheduled for 13 and 20 April. If we advanced, our match against Southampton on 21 April would have to move. Semifinals are 11 May and 18 May, possibly affecting our matches against Brighton and Nottingham Forest. Between now and then, though, we may very well know who's won the Prem, for better or for worse.

Yes, key players are making their way back. Smith-Rowe put in a decent shift before having to come off. Jesus is weeks away from his return. Knocks to Trossard and Nketiah look light, and the explosive display from Nelson suggest we have at least one more option in attack. Can we hold it all together well enough to prove the preseason prognosticators wrong, at least on one front if not both? We'll cross the bridge when we come to it. First step: Sporting CP.

One last note before we part ways: I invite you to join "March Merch", a little competition in which the most-frequent commenters this month will be entered in a raffle for a chance to win a £25 gift card at Arsenal Direct. I'm loving the traffic the site is getting but will admit I'd love even more to see more craic in the comments.

Gabriel Jesus to make his return against Sporting on Thursday (?)

2023-03-08T02:46:00.001-06:00

Look to his coming on the first light of the fifth day. At dawn, look to the east. Okay, so it's been much longer than five days, and we'd presumably be looking west as rumours suggest that Jesus will travel with the squad to Portugal to face Sporting CP on Thursday. Okay, again, to clarify, Jesus himself won't face Portugal, but he might at least make the bench, which would be a welcome sign after he suffered that knee injury way back during the not-at-all dubious World Cup. He hasn't played for us since 12 November and hasn't scored for us since 1 October, but we look to his return with breathless anticipation.

Jamie Carragher, spitting facts (is that phrase still fetch?), said, "When Jesus got injured Arsenal were 5 points clear. How long has he been injured for now, 2 months, 3 months? [it's closer to four]. They're still five points clear. You've got to give them massive credit for that because there were a lot of questions asked. He's about to come back and he was a revelation." You'd have to excuse us, then, if we're more than a bit giddy at the prospect of seeing the Brazilian back on the pitch or at least on the bench.

Smith-Rowe was pressed into action against Bournemouth after Trossard picked up a knock. He only lasted about 45 minutes before making way for Nelson (not that this substitution turned out poorly). Arteta is likely to manage Jesus's return in an even-more cautious fashion, and this approach is a welcome departure from previous seasons in which key players were rushed back from injury only to suffer setbacks. At a risk of incurring your wrath, I blame Emery for driving Koscielny away by overusing him and aggravating the Frenchman's ruptured Achilles. However, I digress.

Back to Jesus. His return to the squad, even as a purely symbolic gesture, is bound to lend fresh energy to weary legs. He was, as Carragher said, a revelation. It wasn't just the goals, either. He electrified our attack and our press in ways that neither Nketiah nor Trossard could replicate, and that's not a knock against them. Jesus is simply on another level. While he's unlikely to step foot on the pitch before the international break. his mere presence will be akin to putting a pinch of sage in your boots. All day long, a spicy scent is your reward.

Even if he only joins in the pre-match warm-up on Thursday, he's bound to lend courage and confidence to those who feature. For those of you thinking only of his goal contribution, think of the bigger picture. Defenders will no longer be able to double- or triple-team Saka, knowing that Jesus is lurking behind them. What's more, they'll be even less sure of Martinelli's whereabouts given Jesus's willingness to drift to the touchline. What's more, he presses like a maniac. All of this add ups to something very, very good for our prospects as we battle on two fronts.

Even if he never sets foot on the pitch against Sporting or Fulham, his return, like that of Gandalf's, shall reinvigorate a squad that has gotten by for the last few weeks with duct tape and baling wire. By the time we all come back from the international break, Jesus may very well be ready to lead the line. That would be quite the resurrection as this club seeks a return to the promised land, whether that land is domestic or continental or both...

This Hale End product is better than Haaland, Kane, or Salah...

2023-03-06T18:06:00.000-06:00

Which player has the best minutes per goal involvement of any player with at least five goals + assists? Haaland? Nope. Salah? Not even close. What about Kane, Toney, or Rashford? Nyet, a’a, and አይ. (That's Russian, Hausa, and Amharic for the Philistines out there). By now, of course, you have to know that we're here to talk about none other than Reiss Nelson after his heroics at the weekend when his assist got us on level terms before his winner brought the house down. He's played just 85 minutes of Prem football and has three goals and two assists. Making an entirely legitimate extrapolation from a very reliable data set reveals that he would scorely roughly 117 goals and add almost 80 assists. Serious questions have to be asked of Arteta here. I don't think he even knows what he's doing, leting this kid ride the bench.

Okay, okay, so the minutes per goal involvement stat skews things just a tad. Nelson did pad his stats in a 5-0 thrashing of Nottingham Forest in which he had two goals and and assist. There's no taking away from his assist to equalise or his goal to win against Bournemouth, though. That last moment could be a season-defining one for reasons we explored here. Before we give the lad a lifetime contract and statue outside the Emirates, let's apply the handbrake a little bit.

You know what? I'm not quit ready to do that just yet. Instead, I'd rather engage in some comparisons to mock our rivals and those that wish they could still call themselves that but for their current position in the table. Antony, Mudryk, and Richarlison cost something like £230m in fees (and who knows what in wages and add-ons) but, put together, have contributed fewer goal involvements combined—three—than Nelson. They've played a combined 1,780 minutes compared to Nelson's 85. Richarlison's supposedly a Prem-proven scorer who was a smarter acquisition than Gabriel Jesus. Mudryk is apparently better than Martinelli because of one or two quick touches around the box. Antony is good at giving the ball away but at least looking almost as petulant as Bruno Fernandes when he does, so he has that going for him.

Ever since Arsène signed him for free at the age of 15 (Nelson's age, not Arsène's), there have been rave reviews about his potential—his skill on the ball, his explosiveness, his preternatural calm, and more—and Saturday gave him a chance to prove that it wasn't simply click-bait hyperbole to boost pageviews (cough). He showed all of this in what was undoubtedly one of the most pressure-cooker moments of his career. With the clock counting down, the visiting fans whistling and jeering, the Emirates holding its collective breath, and defenders closing him down, he tapped the ball up and lashed a half-volley in for the kind of winner fans will tell their children about years and maybe decades hence. For myself, I hit my head on the basement ceiling when I left up off of the couch. It's a low ceiling, but still.

With Trossard coming up lame, Smith-Rowe still working his way back to full fitnees, Nketiah nursing a niggle, and Jesus still some time away from recovery, Nelson's emergence (nascent though it still is) couldn't have come at a better time. While seemingly at his best on the left, he can also offer cover on the right, and this gives Arteta valuable options for these last 12 matches plus the seven Europa League matches we'll also play (ahem). If he can grow into the talent that Arsène and so many others have seen in him, we could soon see yet another Hale End product establish himself, hot on the heels of Bukayo Saka and Emile Smith-Rowe. This would give Arteta a selection dilemma all too different and all too welcome to the one he currently has to navigate.

Nelson is just now 23, and for those who start to wonder if it's too late, consider the fact that Ian Wright was playing for non-league Greenwich Borough at age 22. I'm not predicting a similar trajectory for Nelson; I'm only pointing that players develop and hit their strides on their own schedules. Saka's 21 and is already one of the best in the Prem. Let's not make too much of Nelson or hype his goal too much (yeah, that horse is already well out of the barn and over the hills and far away). Let's just hope that this moment serves as a springboard that propels him toward realising his potential, getting more minutes, and making contributions.

Reiss, we don't expect dramatic game-winners every week. Once in a while, you can simply score a goal that adds gloss to a win. Deal?