word from the wallaces

Here Goes Nothin'!

2013-06-21T00:50:00.001-04:00

I am so excited to introduce you to my new online space:

Before I explain why the big switch, I want to share the inspiration...

BUT YOU'LL HAVE TO HEAD OVER THERE TO READ THE REST!

While you're there, make sure to subscribe by email (you will have to resubscribe to follow the new blog) or follow me on Bloglovin'. You can also "Like" the Light Breaks Forth Facebook page, follow me on Twitter, Pinterest or Instagram.

Where I Am and What I'm Doing

2013-06-17T17:42:00.000-04:00

Hi friends! I'm still alive and working on the exciting changes I spoke of a couple weeks ago.

I'm hoping to be able to share with you soon but this week I'm busy doing this:

I know, it's rough.

ch-ch-ch-changes!

2013-06-03T06:00:00.000-04:00

Change is coming this way and I. am. SO. excited.

I've been dreaming and planning and praying for months and am this close to being able to share what God is doing in my heart and with my little online space.

While behind the scenes work is taking place word from the wallaces will be a little quiet. Hopefully everything will be complete by the end of this week and I can share what's next.

See you soon!

If not us, then who?

2013-05-31T06:30:00.000-04:00

The only institution large enough

to address foster care in this country is the church.

~ Dennis Rainey

I hope and pray that this past month has stirred something in you, given you ideas for practical next steps and opened your eyes to American orphans.

Orphans are the most vulnerable people group in the United States. You may not be called to foster care but you are commanded to care for them in some way.

Will you commit to praying about your response?

Happy Birthday Baby Girl!

2013-05-29T06:30:00.000-04:00

Dear Glory,

Today we are celebrating your LIFE! You are one year old baby girl!

When we first saw your chubby cheeks and gummy smile you were only six months old. You have grown so much and we are so thankful God is sustaining you and caring for you while we are so far away!

We are all so excited to meet you and to hold you and to squeeze you and to kiss you. My heart nearly explodes when I think of the day we will get to do all of those things.

We want you to know that you are LOVED. You are loved by your family and by our friends and even by people we have never met but who heard of the amazing work God is doing to bring you to our family!

MOST IMPORTANTLY, you are loved by God. He is the one who made you and has kept you safe these last twelve months. He is supernaturally giving your little body the nutrition it needs and He is the one writing your story.

I know there will be times that are hard and your little heart will break trying to understand the pain and suffering you have endured. I promise to cry with you and hold you and love you but I know that will not be enough. I know the hole in your heart cannot be filled by me or Papa or our family. But we know the One who can fill it and we want to always point you to Him.

There are pieces of your story we don't know. You will have questions Papa and I cannot answer but we are praying EVEN NOW that you will be able to lay down those unknown pieces of your story and trust that God has brought you here in His all-knowing goodness.

This is hard baby girl. It is so, so hard. It will only make sense with Jesus.

We LOVE you and cannot wait to meet you!

Praying we always point you to Him,

Mommy + Papa

I. WAS. WRONG. {Repost in honor of National Foster Care Month}

2013-05-27T06:00:00.000-04:00

This post was originally published on November 16, 2012.

It is BY FAR the most popular post and the most prayed over post I have ever written.

Coincidence?

I think not.

Our foster care social worker makes a visit to our house once a month to see how we are doing as a foster home. She is assigned to look after us; the boys and their mother have another worker assigned to look after them and work towards the goal of reunification.

Our worker, we’ll call her “Susan”, was here last week and we were talking about how understaffed the department is. SO understaffed, she almost called us about a baby. A baby with a “concurrent” goal. (For those of you not in the foster care world, the term “concurrent” means they are working towards adoption for this baby.) Did I mention we're talking about a BABY?

Susan knows we are not in the place to adopt a baby. Susan knows we have our "hands full". Susan knows we have a little boy in the Congo coming home soon-ish. But she had no one else to call. “All of our homes are full.” she told me. “We don’t have enough homes – even for babies.”

Do those words stop you in your tracks? Not enough homes? For babies? In Kentucky?

Say What!?!

William and I never intended to become foster parents. We never even considered adopting domestically. The thought literally never crossed our minds.

Do you ever speak words that come back to haunt you? I did once. Ok, a few times, but at least once on this very topic.

The day before "T" and "M" came to live with us I attended Created for Care, a retreat/conference for adoptive moms. I was speaking with a woman whose family had been praying about starting the journey of adopting from Ethiopia. She asked me a question I could tell had been on her mind for some time. She asked me how I answer people who want to know why we are adopting from Africa and not “here”. Here being in the US.

I gave my wise Christian answer (insert sarcasm here) - we prayed about it and feel like God has our children in Africa... and then I told her the need is greater there. Kids in the US have roofs over their heads, clothes on their backs and food in their tummies. Their parents are not dying of AIDS at alarming rates and they are not dying themselves of dirty water. Simple. The need is greater. I. Spoke. Those. Words.

Friends, I was wrong. Hear me. I. WAS. WRONG.

While yes, children in Africa (or Russia or India or Haiti) are more likely to be on the streets in the only shirt they own begging for food and living in a cardboard box because their parents are dead or sick, the effect parentlessness has on them is NO GREATER than the effect of parentlessness on vulnerable children right “here”.

Dr. Purvis says “their brains are different”. Kids from "hard places" - their brains are different. The reason their brains are different is because of the lack of nurturing they received prenatally and during the first few years of their lives.

Their brains are different because no one nurtured them.

No one met their needs.

No one loved them.

There are six risk factors that put a child into this category: difficult pregnancy, difficult birth, early hospitalization, abuse, neglect and trauma. (Certainly malnutrition plays a critical role and can have dramatic affects on development but a child who was hungry and nurtured will be better off than a child who had a full belly but no nurture.)

When T and M came to live with us I was SHOCKED to see the exact same behaviors we had read about and come to expect from our little one coming to us from an orphanage in a third world country. In my naive mind they would be "normal". They had a roof, clothes and food. (most of the time) They even had a parent. I thought they would be a little shaken up but fair pretty well.

I was wrong.

Their brains are different BUT their needs are the same. The same as children in Africa. Children in Russia, India and Haiti. The need for lovers of Jesus to fight for them is the same.

When we went through foster care training over the summer our instructor shared statistics that were startling to me at the time. I just didn't know:

246 kids in foster care ages 0 - 5

118 kids in care ages 6 - 11

344 kids in care ages 12 - 18

50 kids in care ages 19 - 21 (this number may be the saddest as these kids are holding out to the very last minute for a family to call their own)

Nearly 800 kids are in foster homes in Jefferson County. 800 kids. Ironically, in the state of Kentucky there are 800 KIDS READY TO BE ADOPTED. Did you know that? Six months ago, I did not.

There are a lot of myths regarding foster care and adopting from the foster system. Unfortunately, the only stories that receive media attention are ones where a birth parent shows up years later and demands their kid back. Or stories of kids who linger in the states care for years and years. While these things do happen, they are not the norm in Kentucky. More importantly, the system may be broken, but God is sovereign.

No one reading these words is immune from receiving a phone call today that will change their life. Your life. My life. We are not in control. Of anything. Biological kids, internationally adopted kids, foster kids.They all belong to Him.

Did you know...

Did you know adopting from foster care is essentially free? FREE.

Did you know biological parents have no way of gaining back custody of their children once parental rights are terminated? NO. WAY.

Did you know children enter foster care through no fault of their own? They are victims of the adults who were supposed to take care of them.

Did you know in the state of Kentucky the Safe Families for Children Act prevents kids from lingering in the system?

Did you know you are provided a per diem to care for the foster kids in your home? Did you know this per diem continues for most children even after they have been adopted? Did you know kids from foster care can go to any state college for free?

Did you know you can take your foster kids across state lines, enroll them in daycare and have babysitters?

Did you know you will get attached?

And it will be hard?

It will.

In the paraphrased words of Amy Monroe "You can handle getting attached and getting hurt. You're an adult. You can handle it. They are kids."

These kids you are afraid of loving too much - they are dying for someone to love them like that. While they are not dying from poverty, disease or hunger, their needs are the same.

If you'd like to learn more about adopting from foster care in KY visit the KY Department for Family Services. If you are interested in foster care or adoption in another state visit Focus on the Family.

My prayer is that this post would shine a light on the needs of children right "here". Please contact me if you have questions about our experience or if I can help you prayerfully begin the journey of foster care. lindsy.wallace AT gmail DOT com

Weekend Reading: National Foster Care Month Style

2013-05-25T06:30:00.000-04:00

It's the last Saturday of the month and I finally got around to posting some of my favorite links from the month. There were some amazing foster care posts - these are just a few I remembered to bookmark;-)

From Tiffany at Stuff and Things - Foster Care for Every Commitment Level

This is a long list of foster care blogs - a whole new world!

From The Forgotten Blog - An honest look at being the other woman - the foster mom.

A nice list of do's and don'ts entitled What Foster Parents Wish Other People Knew.

Catie from This High Calling was killin' it this month! SO many great posts from her and her guest posters! A few of my favorites:
Conviction
I. Could. Never.
I Think I'm Expecting too Much From a Hallmark Holiday

Happy Weekend!

thoughts from a foster care worker {National Foster Care Month Guest Post}

2013-05-23T07:56:00.001-04:00

Today's post comes from Natalie at little things + big stuff.

I love Natalie's blog because of #1. it's beautifully refreshing design and

#2. she writes wondferully honest posts about her experience as a foster care worker.

Please enjoy her words below!

I never wanted to work in the foster care system. It seemed scary and bureaucratic, and I was homed in on international adoption work. But now, after a couple years in the world of foster care, it seems to be a part of my life that I don’t ever want to go away. It’s brought me joy.

I've spent time in foster care case management, and more recently and more extensively — foster care adoptions. It's been the perfect mix of experiences. I've gotten to come in at the end of a child's time in foster care. It's usually a cause for celebration, though not without loss, of course. But then there are the ones whose happy endings are yet to come. I've worked to gather reports, focus on strengths, and schedule photo shoots to list "hard-to-place" kids on adoption recruitment sites like Adopt US Kids.

I've doubted my ability to tout the strengths of a child while still being honest about his or her challenges. When I look at a child's profile, I focus on their uniqueness and abilities.

Micah has huge dimples, eats hot wings all the time, races his bike down the sidewalk, and prefers to be called "Spiderman." But Micah has also experienced too many moves among foster homes and too many trips to the psychologist as his foster parent and case worker attempted to sort out his mental health diagnoses. What do families see when they see his profile? I hope they see how they can be a family who meets Micah’s needs while celebrating his strengths.

Through my work, I’ve also been able to witness situations and adoptions worthy of the utmost celebration. Some scoff at the preference relatives are given in fostering and adopting kids to whom they’re related, and let’s be honest — I did early on, too. One relative lived in a neighborhood where kids seemed to spill out of the front doors of homes. When I came to her house, her blinds were drawn, and she yelled out to ask who I was before disabling the alarm system. I sensed she was scared to live in her own neighborhood. But her house was spotless. And the two little relatives she was to adopt were always clean and happy.

My home study for her was harder to write than some. Jennifer committed a violent crime against another person about 10 years ago (though she reports it was done in self defense). She’s unemployed, she has only a GED, she has some health issues, and she receives a lot of public assistance. But she is absolutely fit to adopt and parent these children. She stepped up when other family members didn’t. The kids respect and obey her better than most I’ve seen. She made plans to move to a safer neighborhood. She went back to college soon after to expand her employment opportunities. This adoption is worth celebrating.

And that’s what I’ve found to be true of them all. Each situation is worth celebrating. Though Micah’s happy ending hasn’t come yet, he has a foster parent who absolutely loves him and is committed to keeping him in her home until we find the right family for his needs. Then, there’s the teenage girl who has been adopted previously and finds the perfect family in a single woman who chose to not be afraid of her past behaviors. Or the sibling group of five who were each allowed to each choose their own new name upon adoption.

Yes, there’s a lot of yuckyness in foster care, but I’m celebrating still.

Waiting for Glory: Month Five {Adoption Month 5-0!}

2013-05-22T20:52:00.001-04:00

Ugh. Some months I dread these posts and wish I had never started a monthly adoption update. But I did...

The upside is it forces me to look honestly at where my heart is in this long journey, made up mostly of waiting.

This month I'm feeling discouraged and helpless. Our girl is turning one year old next week and she will do so in an orphanage. No one will celebrate the anniversary of her coming into this world. She won't smear icing all over her face and smile for dozens of pictures. That makes my heart hurt. (Side note: it also helps me to understand why birthdays are difficult for Our {collective Our} kiddos from hard places.)

What she/we need most right now is prayer. We are at a pivotol point and it seems as though the only shot we have at getting her home this year hinges on a few things:

First, pray for favor with our USCIS officer. There are a lot of confusing details (aren't there always when dealing with USCIS?) but we are waiting for our I-600A approval - giving us approval to bring an orphan into the US. We NEED this approval ASAP.

Second, pray that the US Embassy would begin their investigation into Glory's orphan status when they travel to her city in June/July. AND that the investigation would go quickly and smoothly.

Third, pray her birth certificate would be issued and that we would pass court quickly. At this point she will legally be our child and she can move to a foster home in the capital city.

Fourth, please pray for her health. She is literally in one of the hardest countries in the world to be a little one.

{This month also marks 50 months since starting the adoption process. #longestgestationperiodever}

a glimpse of Jesus...

2013-05-21T06:00:00.000-04:00

"To love is to risk. Opening your home to a foster kid will be emotionally difficult. It's inconvenient. It's hard. It's messy. It's exhausting. I guarantee it.

But all too often, selfishness keeps us from taking care of these children. Somewhere along the way, in our concern for an easy, happy, comfortable life, we may be missing the heart of the gospel - to seek and save the lost, to reach out to the forgotten and the oppressed, to love sacrificially, and to pour our lives out so that others can catch a glimpse of Jesus.

If the only reason we refuse to get involved in foster care is because "it is too hard emotionally" or "we can't handle saying goodbye." we may need to repent of self-absorption. We must ask ourselves the question: Do we truly love our neighbor as we love ourselves? What if a foster child is the "neighbor" that God has brought into our path to love?"

~ Johnny Carr, Orphan Justice

(hand)made for Glory re-cap + thoughts on online auctions

2013-05-20T06:00:00.000-04:00

Well, it's over. Sort of. Payments are rolling in and boxes are being shipped out. Pretty soon I'll have my office and my evenings back. All in all, we made just under $2,000 from the auction! Getting closer!

Several people have asked how we pulled this off. Here are just a few loose tips. If you want specifics please feel free to contact me.

First, start collecting your items at least 4-6 weeks in advance.
Pick a theme that is enjoyable to you. I love handmade goodness so I choose handmade. Maybe you like sports, or food, or something else. It will be more fun if you enjoy it.
Don't pick a theme. (I know, I know.) I had a couple items offered that just didn't fit handmade. Could I have thrown them in and probably no one would have noticed? Yes. But I'm a first born type A and couldn't do it.
Share enough of your story to get people interested in helping. When I contacted potential donors I gave one or two lines about our adoption journey and shared the link to our Give1Save1 video.
Give them the details on what they need to know - what are you asking for specifically, when is the auction, do they mail the item to you or the donor, what are you offering them in exchange - FB mentions, Tweets, blog profiles, etc.?
Note: It is against Etsy policy to solicit donations. I did not know this when I started. I must have contacted 200 - 300 shop owners and only ONE person mentioned this policy. I'm a beg-for-forgiveness-rather-than-ask-for-permission kinda girl but Etsy can and will shut down your account for breaking this policy.
It might also be against policy to hold auctions on Blogger. See begging for forgiveness comment above.
Some people are not familiar with Blogger and thus don't know how to comment or see older posts. I wouldn't have done anything differently, just something to note.
Sending out invoices via Paypal seems to be working well. Some people don't have their settings set up to receive an email if they get an invoice. Those people will be a little confused.
Having donors mail the item directly to the winning bidder is ideal however, not everyone will want to do this.

I think we'll be taking a break from fundraising for a while. This one nearly did me in and, unfortunately, we don't need the rest of our money for quite some time. I can write grants in my sleep and I think I'm going to read George Mueller's autobiography and pray for some of that to rub off on us.

Be assured, if you walk with Him and look to Him, and expect help from Him,

He will never fail you.

~ George Mueller

Nothing is Wasted {National Foster Care Month ::: Guest Post}

2013-05-15T06:00:00.000-04:00

Today's post comes from my friend Lauren Caseper at Traded Dreams. Lauren and her husband John are former foster parents and while their foster story is a difficult one, I'm honored to share her heart with you today.

Our experience with foster care seems like such a whirlwind in retrospect. We applied to our local social services department and then only two months later there came a call from our case worker. With just two hours notice there they were – twin two year old boys sitting in our living room. In the blink of an eye we became parents to two very neglected little boys at the height of toddlerdom. They were with us for three months and then just as quickly as they blew into our lives they blew back out… but never out of our hearts.

The twins were one of life’s greatest surprises, yet greatest blessings. It was a hard transition for everyone. I remember their tears and our tears vividly. I had no idea how to be a mother, let alone to children with such great trauma in their lives. But one thing I did know how to do was love –so that’s where we started and that’s where we remained. In love.

One hug at a time I healed little hurts. Each day started with hugs and kisses. Tears were wiped away, boo-boos were mended, tummies were filled, books were read, dandelions were blown, cars were raced, baths were enjoyed, and there was more play time, giggles, snuggles, wrestling, and outside adventures than they had ever experienced in their lives. The days ended with evening walks, songs sung in their room, prayers prayed, and one last “hud and tiss.”

As the weeks passed by we settled into family life and it seemed they had been there all along. Loving them began to heal some of the broken places inside my heart, and loving them began to heal some of the broken places inside their hearts. The bruises had faded away and the faces were filling out. Cheeks were becoming rosey and the sunken look had left their eyes. There was joy, peace, and always love.

Through a series of grievous errors the boys were ordered to return to their home after only living with us for three months. I sat shocked on the other end of that phone call and I have struggled every day to forgive that judge. We only had a couple hours to pack their little backpacks full of their toys, clothes, and books. Then the social services van pulled up and we wept in the front yard as they took our boys away. We never saw them again.

For a long time I wondered what the point of it all was. My heart felt as if it were literally being ripped from my chest. Their situation wasn’t made better. I knew the place they were returned to and I knew it wasn’t safe. I knew they would be hungry and I knew they were hurting… but here I was with empty arms and completely unable to do anything for them. What on earth was the point of those three months?

Slowly God began to remind me that nothing is wasted. Even if nothing changes in those boys home life they had three months of love. They had three months of learning what it means to be a family. They heard the name of Jesus every single day for three months. They have two people who will carry them in their hearts for all of eternity… two people who will never cease praying for them. Foster care stories don’t always have happy endings… ours didn’t. But that doesn’t mean that it isn’t worth it.

When we buckled the twins into the van that last day he looked up at me with innocent green eyes and said, “Don’t worry mama – Jesus with me when I go bye bye in car.” And he is with them today. I cling to that and the hope of a heavenly reunion. Nothing is wasted. It’s all worth it.

and now I rest

2013-05-13T06:00:00.000-04:00

THANK YOU to everyone who was part of (hand)made for Glory!

It was a lot of fun and, as I mentioned last week, a lot of work. Thankfully, this is my week to sabbath from blogging and social media. I have a social media hangover from this past week so I am really looking forward to unplugging. And mailing out all the handmade goodness:-)

Check back on Wednesday for a foster care guest post from Lauren Casper at Traded Dreams. I'll be back on the 20th with a (hand)made for Glory re-cap and will be jumping right back into National Foster Care Month!

(hand)made for Glory /// day five

2013-05-10T06:00:00.000-04:00

Happy Friday!

We are moving into day five of (hand)made for Glory!

I must admit, this fundraiser has been a lot of work, (more than I expected:-) BUT

it's also been a LOT of fun!

I hope you guys are having fun checking out all the handmade goodness

and bidding on some of your favs!

Since we are down to the final few days we're going to add in a little incentive.

ALL of the bids started at at least half the retail value - but beginning today,

I will be dropping the starting bid price on all items with no bids by $1.

I'll do the same tomorrow and Sunday. (when the auction closes at 11:59pm)

Our goal is to raise as much money as possible and

bless your socks off with some handmade goodness!

Head on over and see if your favorite item still has your name on it!

my oneBIGidea from Summit9

2013-05-09T06:00:00.000-04:00

William and I were super blessed to be able to attend Summit9 in Nashville last week. Several months back a friend gifted us with some funds to get away by ourselves and we thought this was the perfect opportunity! (Thanks bro!;-)

We focused on the community based orphan care track but also heard speakers on everything from homeschooling to "connecting while correcting" with kids from hard places. I walked away with oneBIGidea...

Relationship is the cornerstone of orphan care because it's the method God used to redeem us. He came as a man who could walk with us, relate to us, speak with us, eat with us, weep with us. He came to us.

How obvious. Jesus' model of redemption is the best practice for reaching those close to the heart of God.

Go to them.
Love them.
Serve them.
Lay down your life for them.

~~/// /// /// /// /// /// /// /// /// /// /// /// /// /// /// /// /// ///~~

How will the foster care system ever be able to restore families and birth parents without a meaningful relationship with those birth parents?

How can we as foster/adoptive parents connect with our kids from hard places if relationship is not valued as more important than having a clean house or "normal family" or social media or fill-in-the-blank?

How can we as Christians even consider reintegrating third world street kids with their families if we don't invest the blood, sweat and tears necessary to form relationships with them?

How can we create effective community based orphan care for vulnerable children in poor lawless countries without going and living among them, walking in their shoes and laying down our lives for them?

How can we show the watching world the love of Jesus when we as Christians sling virtual mud at each other, putting aside our relationships as brothers and sisters in Christ, in order to voice our own agendas on how to best care for the least of these?

I'm no expert. No seminary degree here, but it seems embarrassingly obvious that if we are to show these children, these families, that their lives are redeemable, that restoration is possible, that beauty can come from ashes and freedom can be found... then our model must reflect the One who makes all of those things a reality.

(hand)made for Glory /// day three

2013-05-08T06:00:00.000-04:00

I can hardly type because I. Am. SO. Tired.

This raising thousands of dollars thing is no joke.

I'll try to stay on track and be brief so you can scoot on over to (hand)made for Glory

and bid on some of our amazing auction items.

People, it's like Etsy exploded in my house.

And I love all this handmade goodness but it. got's. to. go.

(Oh dear, see what happens when I get no sleep? I turn ghetto. Fast.)

Here's the deal:

Over 150 amazing handmade items.

ALL donated to our adoption auction.

ALL money raised helps us get this girl home.

What else do you need to know?

(hand)made for Glory.

Go there.

Now.

(and share and pin and tweet and stuff. tired.)

(hand)made for Glory is LIVE!

2013-05-06T02:33:00.001-04:00

Here it is folks - the moment you've all been waiting for!

(Heh:-)

(hand)made for Glory is LIVE.

Join in the fun right here.

We have had such an amazing response that I could really use your help.

Will you please help us spread the word about this wonderful fundraiser?

There really is something for everyone and ALL of the proceeds go towards our adoption thanks to the generous shops and individuals who donated their handmade goods to our cause.

Head on over and start bidding!

It's going to be a fun week!

FAQ's (National Foster Care Month)

2013-05-03T06:00:00.000-04:00

///DISCLAIMER: I am not a foster care expert. I have been in this game for a whopping seven months. These answers are based on our experience in Kentucky. If you'd like to learn more about foster care in KY visit the KY Department for Family Services. If you are interested in foster care in another state visit Focus on the Family.///

Who can become foster parents? Adults over 21, married couples and singles.

How much training in required? The State of KY requires 30 hours of initial training and 6 hours each year as continuing education.

Why are kids in foster care? What did they do? Children enter foster care through no fault of their own. They are victims of neglect of abuse from the adults who were supposed to take care of them.

Will I have to have contact with their birth parents? Most likely no; although is will depend on the situation. In some cases, it is not safe for the birth family to know where their child is. In others, contact is appropriate and beneficial for the children and the birth parent. Your social worker will determine this with you.

Can you request certain ages/genders/number of children? Yes, your social worker who completes your home study will work with your family on the best fit for your home and current family members.

Are only older kids available to foster/adopt? NO! Every month when our worker visits she shares with me how there are not enough homes for babies. Babies in KY have no home to go out of the hospital to!

Do foster parents pay for the expenses for the kids? Foster parents are provided a per Diem to care for the foster kids in your home. In MOST cases, this per Diem continues after the child has been adopted. Health care is also provided for the child and in KY, kids from foster care can go to any state college for free!

Can I take my foster child across state lines, enroll them in daycare and have babysitters? Yes. In some cases biological parents and/or state supervisors will need to approve travel. Daycare centers and babysitters have to be approved by the state but the process if (fairly) pain free.

How much does it cost to adopt from foster care? It is essentially FREE. There are attorney costs but the state will reimburse you for the majority of these fees.

Can biological parents gain back custody of their kids? No. Once parental rights are terminated, biological parents cannot gain them back.

Will it be hard? Will I get attached? Yes and Yes. In the paraphrased words of Amy Monroe "You can handle getting attached and getting hurt. You're an adult. You can handle it. They are kids."

What did I miss? Please ask away in the comments section or send me an email!

(hand)made for Glory {sneak peek #2}

2013-05-02T06:00:00.000-04:00

Four more days until:

I am SO PUMPED about this!

First, it has been so much fun connecting
with all of these seriously talented folks and being blessed by their generosity.

Second, it is UN. REAL.
how many lives have been touched by adoption!

I can't tell you how many people I contacted
(aka cold messaged on Etsy. This is against policy BTW. Ooops.)
whose lives had been blessed by adoption.

I've heard stories of sisters moving to Africa,
and daughters adopting,
and dreams of one day adding to families through adoption,
and one gal who has 16 siblings from all over the world!

Just a few reminders:
the auction will be totally online (more details on that later),

you will need a Paypal account to play,

ALL items are handmade (and AMAZING) and were donated to (hand)made for Glory

so ALL money goes toward bringing her home!

We have over 140 items! How did this happen?!?

Here's sneak peak #2!

Don't forget to forgo your frappachino's this weekend
so you are ready for all this handmade goodness!

The Need is Real {National Foster Care Month}

2013-05-01T06:00:00.000-04:00

May is National Foster Care Month!

You may be asking yourself, "Why do we need National Foster Care Month?"

I'm SO glad you asked!

We need it for two reasons. Because the need is REAL and because the command is CLEAR.

Let's start with the Need.

In the United States there are over 400,500 children in the foster care system.
In Kentucky there are over 7,000 children in foster homes.
In Jefferson County (Louisville, KY) there are over 800 children in foster homes.

Later this month we'll talk about WHO those children are but right now, feel the weight of these numbers.

Stop. Feel it. Because they are not just numbers. They are children.

Think about 400,500 children going to bed tonight in our country without their parents. Kids in your state. In your town. In your neighborhood. The need is REAL.

And the command is CLEAR.

Remember what Jesus said about children? “Let the little children come to me and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of heaven.”

Scripture is FULL of passages about orphans and the poor. I think we can agree anytime scripture talks about the poor, orphans are included.

You shall not mistreat any widow or fatherless child.

If you do mistreat them, and they cry out to me,

I will surely hear their cry,

Exodus 22:22 - 23

O Lord, you hear the desire of the afflicted;
you will strengthen their heart; you will incline your ear
to do justice to the fatherless and the oppressed,
so that man who is of the earth may strike terror no more.

Psalm 10:17 - 18

Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this:

to visit orphans and widows in their affliction,

and to keep oneself unstained from the world.

James 1:27

Father of the fatherless and protector of widows
is God in his holy habitation.
God settles the solitary in a home;
he leads out the prisoners to prosperity,
but the rebellious dwell in a parched land.

Psalm 68:5 - 6

“When you reap your harvest in your field and forget a sheaf in the field,

you shall not go back to get it.

It shall be for the sojourner, the fatherless, and the widow,

that the Lord your God may bless you in all the work of your hands.

Deuteronomy 24:19

learn to do good;
seek justice,
correct oppression;
bring justice to the fatherless,
plead the widow's cause.

Isaiah 1:17

Whoever receives one such child in my name receives me

Matthew 18:5

And the King will answer them,

‘Truly, I say to you,

as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers,

you did it to me.’

Matthew 25:40

I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you.

John 14:18

Open your mouth for the mute,
for the rights of all who are destitute.

Open your mouth, judge righteously,
defend the rights of the poor and needy.

Proverbs 31:8 - 9

These are God's holy words to us, his hands and feet, when it comes to caring for the orphaned, the widowed, the poor and the destitute. To paraphrase our pastor's Orphan Sunday message, at some point, the gospel has to compel us to practically DO SOMETHING.

The state's job is to protect children but the state cannot and does not nurture children and point them to the only One who can heal him. His bride must do that. If not us, then who?

I'm excited (and a bit overwhelmed!) about the posts I have planned for this month! Follow along to learn more about the American orphan crisis and hear other foster parents, former foster kids, social workers and more share their experiences with foster care!

If you are new around here check out this post where I share how I WAS WRONG about American orphans and foster care.

April (+ March:-) Martini

2013-04-30T22:07:00.003-04:00

Here is the April (+ March:-) Martini! Posting at the twelfth hour this week!

Great vestibular and proprioceptive find at Costco!

Sweet dress we sent to baby Glory.

Swimming in April.

Strategically placed Easter baskets!

Finger paint turned face paint.

Meadow turned three and the only picture I took was of these Africa shaped PB&J's!

We had a super successful yardsale that was obviously exhausting on everyone.

That was our March and April.

(Sort of. I can only post about 1/4 the pics I take since half the kids can't be on the interwebs.)

(hand)made for Glory {sneak preview}

2013-04-29T20:42:00.004-04:00

One week from today our handmade adoption auction will go live!

Yikes! I've got a LOT to do before then!

A few details: the auction will be totally online (more details on that later),

you will need a Paypal account to play,

ALL items are handmade (and AMAZING) and were donated to our adoption auction

so ALL money goes toward bringing Glory home!

We have over 100 items!

I am overwhelmed at the handmade goodness in our house right now.

Here's a sneak preview at just a handful of my favorite items.

(Set aside a little money this week - you're gonna need it come Monday!)

Love With Abandon

2013-04-26T06:30:00.000-04:00

Today's post comes from my friend Rachel at Walser Adoption Adventures.

Rachel started a really cool project in March that I just had to share with you. I

love her heart for keeping vulnerable children with their families and

her passion for making it a reality ~ Enjoy!

Last February I went on a mission trip. Our church took a team of about 10 people to Addis Ababa. We had a dual purpose: training for indigenous church planters and serving with widow and orphan care ministries.

When I went on my first mission trip to Ethiopia in 2010, I was in the middle of our adoption process. I had never been to a third world country. Truthfully, I had never been on a mission trip anywhere. I was broken, in a good way, but I can't help but think everything I processed was seen by me, at least in part, through the filter of our adoption. Of course I was motivated to share the love of Jesus with all those sweet children and to see the face of Jesus in the beautiful people of Ethiopia. But it was also another layer to our story, to understanding the why of our decision to adopt internationally, seeing first hand the great need, and falling in love with a country that is now a big part of our life.

And I felt confirmed in our decision to adopt, and to adopt from Ethiopia. I love adoption so much. I love the gospel so clearly on display. I love kids without families being fought for, being loved, and being pursued so intensely and sacrificially so they can have a forever home and a forever family. "One less." It didn't seem like much of an impact after witnessing such great need, but it was something.

Fast forward to last year. While we were in country on our trip, we found out some news about our own adoption that brought to light that our story was not the story we thought it was. It forced us to deal with the truth that adoption is a messy business. Worth the mess, and a wonderful answer to a great need--but it is only ONE answer. And what hit me hard on that trip last year was, is it the best answer?

Hear me out. In some cases, yes, it is. But perhaps in other cases, it's not addressing the systemic problem. And--here's where it got tough for me personally to swallow--it might even be perpetuating unethical practices because we are so focused on working hard to get kids into our families that we don't even see the opportunity to prevent them from needing to be there in the first place.

I think of all the time, energy, blood, sweat, tears, and CASH poured into bringing Abby home. Was it worth it? Would I do it again? Abso-friggin-lutely!! In a heartbeat. She's worth it. And God is soverign--no doubt in my mind He brought her to our family.

But--here's the rub. Am I willing to pour as much energy, time, resources, and passion into fighting to keep children with their birth families?

Because I believe--and my eyes were opened to--many situations where mothers and fathers are giving up children for adoption because they do not have the means or ability to meet their basic needs. No parent should have to make that kind of decision. It's a harder problem to solve, and often waaayyyy messier to deal with. But as beautiful a picture as adoption displays of the gospel, isn't equipping a family to stay together and seeing it thrive also a beautiful picture of redemption and restoration?

Adoption is a great response. I'm just not sure it should be our first response.

And I am convicted all over again. I want to be mobilized and advocating for the adoption of true orphans, particularly those who are overlooked or considered unwanted. And, with the same passion and fervor, I want to fight for kids to stay in their families. I want to support and advocate for ministries that share the love of Jesus and offer much needed help to women who just need a hand so they can care for their children. And I want to serve firsthand women facing these kinds of decisions and let them know they are not alone, that someone cares for them and for their children.
And these thoughts and stirrings are what led me to launch the

Last year I raised approx $2500 for my mission trip. I decided I wanted to raise DOUBLE that amount to give back to orphan care---in all of it's different nuanced areas.

I have set a goal to raise $6,000 so I can give $1,000 each to 6 different needs, each addressing the orphan crisis in a different way. (Originally I planned to raise $5,000, but I'll explain why that changed in just a second.) Let me share with you first WHO I'm fundraising for, and then tell you HOW I plan to do it!

Bring Love In

Levi and Jesse are the awesome couple behind Bring Love In, which works to create new families in Ethiopia by pairing a single mom and her children with other orphans in a home unit, providing a family structure and support for a lifetime.

Compassion Families Intl

Peter and Elizabeth run Compassion Families, which provides drop-in centers for kids who need schooling, and/or after school care, also helping with needs like uniforms and school supplies and clothing and shoes. Making it a little easier for those families who are struggling to provide basic needs for their children.

Embracing Hope

Jerry and Christy Shannon run Embracing Hope, and it was their daughter's genius idea to provide a free day care for single moms so they can go to work without a child strapped to their back. Providing food each week, and supporting the moms with micro-loans and saving plans so they can look ahead with hope to a future being able to provide for their family without having to beg or prostitute.

LifeBridge Church

LifeBridge is my local church, and we just moved 6 months ago into a building that's located in the poorest zip code in our county. We are thrilled to be there, and each day the Lord is guiding us as to new ways to love tour new neighbors. Our ministries to the broken families in our area are just beginning.

The Waulk family

The Waulks are our dear friends and part of our church family. Josh is our Executive pastor at LifeBridge. They adopted Karis 2 years ago, and are in the process of adopting domestically again, a baby due this summer.

The Davis family

When I first decided to do this project, I was going to set out to raise $5000 for the 5 causes above. My friend Christy happened to be one of the first people I told about my project, and she was so supportive and excited for my efforts. She has always been the biggest cheerleader and supporter of many of our adoptions, long before they even began their adoption process last year. They have been waiting to bring a little girl home from Ethiopia. But just this last week, her husband died tragically, leaving Christy and three beautiful children behind. As many of my friends and I grieved, prayed, and served her this last weekend, it dawned on my how close to home it was now---the charge to care for widows and orphans. Now it's my friend, and now it's her kids. So it didn't take me long to decide to add their family to my project.

*********

So that's the WHO. Now for the HOW. And here's where you come in!

I am launching a store of fun items, and ALL the profits will go towards these ministries and families. My goal is to be able to raise $1,000 for each.

Are you in?! OK so here's the links you'll need:

SHOP here!!
Donate directly to Bring Love In
Donate directly to Compassion Families (PLEASE make a note in donation that it is for Compassion Families--this organization supports other ministries)
Donate directly to Embracing Hope
Donate directly to LifeBridge Church
Donate directly to the Waulk family
Donate directly to the Davis family:

Paypal a donation to scrappycdavis@yahoo.com
Davis Children Trust, c/o Everbank, 26417 US Highway 19, Clearwater, FL 33761

(If you would prefer to donate by check to any of the above, please email me for information.)

(Please please let me know if you donate directly so I can count it in my total for fundraising!)

OK people--let's do this!!

SHOP! DONATE! POST LINK!! Let's all LOVE WITH ABANDON!!

. . . . . . . . . . .

Waiting for Glory: Month Four

2013-04-22T06:30:00.000-04:00

That's all I got today. Waiting sucks.

How to Organize a Date Night Co-op

2013-04-19T06:30:00.000-04:00

William and I have been blessed by an almost weekly date night for the last 3 1/2 years! Prior to organizing our date night co-op, we maybe had two real dates (without kids) during Moses' first two years of life.

I get asked all the time how we organized our date night co-op so I thought I would share it here. I'm guessing some of you are desperate for a date!

First I should note that the date night co-op was William's brilliant idea. I think he got it from Mark Driscoll. So, there's the credit where it's due. Or whatever.

Find three other families with kiddos around the same age as yours. It doesn't hurt to have a couple slightly older kids in the mix for helpers. Make sure the total number of kids is a number you are comfortable watching just the two of you. (We have nine kids in our co-op.)
Decide on a date and time. We do date night on Fridays from 6:30 - 9:30. (Yes this is past all of the kids bedtimes. Alone time with your man is more important than schedules.)
Determine your rotation. If there are four families it works easily - Family #1 has childcare the first Friday of the month, Family #2 has childcare the second Friday of the month and so on. If there are five Fridays we skip the fifth one.
If a family will be out of town on their childcare week they are responsible for switching with another family. This way, no one has to really be "in charge".

Four families = Three dates a month.

Here's an example of our schedule
First Friday of the month - We have childcare. All the kids come to our house.
Second Friday - We get a date. Couple #2 has childcare.
Third Friday - We get a date. Couple #3 has childcare.
Fourth Friday - We get a date. Couple #4 has childcare.
It's that simple! Happy date-night!

Don't forget to check out the shop and use the FREE SHIPPING code "spring" when you check out!