word gravity

For the Cookie Lady- A Story about Baking and Love

noreply@blogger.com (iyeshka farmer) — Sun, 4 Sep 2011 13:05:00 -0700

This post is dedicated to Alan Levine and the memory of his mother, Al yce.

Dear Alan, the cookies i am baking are an amazing story of openness that spans four generations of my family. To honour that, the memory of your mother, and the sacred invisible web that binds the fabric of our lives together, i have reached out to my grandmother (92) and my mother (72) to help me tell the story, because it begins before my memory does.

My grandparents, along with my mother and aunt, emmigrated from England to Canada after WWII. After a couple of years in Montreal they decided to move to Ontario and in 1953 they settled in Willowdale with no family and no friends and facing very hard times. They were blessed to become neighbours with Grace Walker and her family. The cookie recipe came from Grace, who became known as Auntie Grace to all of us.

My Grandmother shares some memories and thoughts:

Auntie Grace (our first neighbour when we lived in Willowdale Ontario),was a wonderful baker of many luscious goodies, she told me she worked when living up Northern Ontario, in a bake shop, which is where she learned her wonderful skills re baking, many of which she shared with me, (and of course, June and Wendy, my daughters, eventually also my grandaughter Iyeshka). One of these recipes was these delicious choc chip cookies. Our family love them, as did visiting friends and neighbours when they came to call, so often Auntie Grace's choc chip cookie recipe was requested.
One Xmas, Beric, my grandson baked the choc chip cookies for place markers on our Xmas dinner table. He made extra large ones too, almost as big as tea plates!!
Please accept my sincere sympathy in the loss of your Mother. The cookie story is a lovely memory for your family to share with others.

Blessings and good wishes, Rose Turner ..... Iyeshka`s maternal grandmother

And my mother remembers:

Auntie Grace was not our aunt but she was the closest to a grandmother that my sister and I ever had. She was an amazing friend to our parents during very hard times. We met when we moved next door as teenagers and we all gradually just became family. This continued until the end of her life.
She was a wonderful cook and was generous in sharing her recipes. Cooking was a joy for her and we learned to feel the same about the many dishes she shared with us. We always headed for the cookie jar to see if any chocolate chip cookies just happened to be waiting for us. Our own children were always thrilled to smell "Auntie Grace's Cookies" as they came out of the oven. They are a part of our family traditions now as they are made for our grandchildren.

Grace Walker and her family were the kind of neighbours that change lives. From preparing all the fancy sandwiches for my mother's trousseau tea, to hosting the exhausted family to Christmas dinner, to giving the first dining table (that followed to my childhood home and was the table where my brother's business xe.com was conceived and founded--now there's a bit of web history for you ;-) ).

We don't know where Auntie Grace got the recipe, but a little sure goes a long way, so there's a theory that it might be depression or wartime era.

And I don't know where the recipe is headed, but it is a deep part of women's culture and human culture to share food and the rituals around it. Recipes handed down form a bridge across which we can travel and visit those long departed. The memories they stir, the love remembered, shared and passed on again every time we pull out our stained copies and begin the familiar motions of preparing them. I'll see my grandmother's farmhouse kitchen and her old sunbeam mixer; my mother's hands holding a fork and pressing down the tops making the criss-cross pattern--and of course, Auntie Grace, her smiling face and white hair and her earrings--the big clip on kind with pearls and rhinestones.

I'm going to give these cookies away to my neighbours--both physical and of the heart. To Wray and Greg who wrapped me up in their care from the first day we moved in here 18 months ago. They have made such a huge difference to our lives--don't know quite how it would have all happened without them. To Craig and Fergus, whose quiet kindness and thoughtfulness and acceptance and joy in my children fill my heart. They inspire me with the lives they have lead and the people they are. To Ang, whose absolute and unfailing loyalty and friendship have pulled me through the darkest time of my life--not to mention the hours and hours of shear hard physical labour she contributed to helping make my place a home. To Lynne B and her partner Lynne A. for a true friendship of the heart, for wisdom, and prods and laughter, for being there to keep me alive in the darkest time. To Soos for her love and friendship and shared girlfriend-fun and hours on the phone. To linnet for her gentle wisdom and example. To Scott for new friendship that is challenging and deep and calls for me to grow in ways that I needed to.

And sending virtual cookies to Liz--the sister i never had, who is one of the only people who can totally keep me in line--hahaha. To Julie--heartflow for sure as we walk a mirrored path dearheart. To Arthur--for being a good man (and you know what that means to me) and a good friend. And to Robert and Diane--without your love and care and skill over the past three years none of this beautiful new life would have been possible. I love you both so much.

I'm going to have so much fun sending virtual cookies to dozens of people who are filling my mind and heart right now.

And to you who are reading. Have a virtual cookie--and feel the cookielove.

Thank you all. You enrich my life in profound and precious ways. And thank you Alan (and Giulia) for this opportunity to share care and love with friends and strangers.

The sharing of food is probably our most primal and ancient ritual. There is a sacredness to the breaking of bread together--and now to the baking of cookie-bread together. Love to all you cookielovers.

Auntie Grace's Chocolate Chip Cookies
1/4 lb butter
1/4 lb shortening
1 cup (scant) brown sugar

Cream together.
Dissolve 1 tsp of baking soda into 1/4 cup boiling water and add slowly.
Then add:
1 tsp vanilla
2 cups flour
2 cups rolled oats
1 pkg chocolate chips (add by hand)

Drop by spoonfuls on greased tray (or non-stick). Flatten with a fork.
Bake at 350 degrees for 10-12 minutes.
Cool on tray. Makes approx. 80.

Work and Meaning

noreply@blogger.com (iyeshka farmer) — Wed, 10 Aug 2011 22:18:00 -0700

There is an awful lot being written about how to make a living doing what you love. There appears, in fact, to be an entire industry being spawned around facilitating, teaching, and coaching the depressed and often despairing masses how to do just that.

Now, I'm all for spending the time and effort to discern what our gifts are and then figuring out how we can ensure we are giving them to world in the best way we can. But I feel I need to speak up and put out a slightly dissenting viewpoint. I'm going to state my position, and then spend a bit of time explaining it.

So here goes:

It is not our work that gives meaning to our lives. It is our living fully, deep in awareness of our Being, our values, and our vision, that gives meaning to our work--regardless of what that work is.

A lot of us have been conditioned to believe that our self-worth is hugely derived from what we do and how much we earn. (A University Education--is seen as the panacea and cornucopia for an abundant and meaningful life.) Many people suffer endlessly because of the pressure and force of this belief system. A simple life is devalued. Simple skills unappreciated. Much of the work that actually makes life worth living is seen as largely irrelevant and of low value in the modern marketplace (parenting, caring for the elderly, lonely, isolated, growing food, cooking daily meals, cleaning, creating celebrations and community events, mending and repairing, art, music, spirituality...)

To help explain my position further I need to dip into that last one: spirituality.

There comes a time in the life of each dedicated spiritual seeker when the bottom drops out of the world. Sometimes it's know as encountering The Void, sometimes as the state of groundlessness, sometimes as the dark night of the soul, or even The Rot. Whatever you call it, all of the underpinnings of your life, your beliefs, your values get shaken, trashed, burned, swept away. And there is this moment of profound insight that nothing matters. Nothing. None of it. It's all meaningless.

This is not a pleasant moment for anyone. It can happen at any time--and often in the most inconvenient. (Not that it's ever convenient to be rendered non-functional.) Along with it comes a natural and inherent terror and often despair and confusion that can become life-threatening. It's good to have experienced friends at a time like this. What you need to know is to keep breathing and don't resist.

For those who don't immediately pack it all back up into Pandora's little box, wrap it with chains, label it with dire warnings and stuff it the hell back down into the 'disowned things i'm not prepared to deal with' pile, there is a treasure here. For those courageous few, who are willing to simply sit with meaninglessness--to allow it into intimate contact with their souls and psyches--to be harrowed, winnowed and refined by the terror--there comes a dawning. A dawning that the opposite is equally and more compellingly true. It all matters. All of it. Equally. Endlessly. Infinitely.

In the profound illumination of that moment, all striving drops away and what is left is a pure note of choice. And the understanding that meaninglessness is the root of Freedom and that taking responsibility for what matters most--to us--is where fate, duty, and free will intersect.

So what has this all got to do with work and meaning?

When you understand that ultimately all work is inherently meaningless, you are stunningly freed to choose to imbue any and all work with absolute meaning. And where does that meaning come from? You. Your heart and soul. Where else? Your true nature, Being, shining through in each and every choice.

We have all met people who have made this choice. Some consciously, some instinctively. The janitor that cares so much that we can feel it every day when we enter our school/business/offices; the clerk at the store that always gifts you with a smile and a sense of belonging somewhere; the social worker that keeps on connecting with you as a person instead of bowing in despair to a broken and unjust system.

I've offered workshops on doing what we love for a living; I've coached people through career changes; and one of the first things i do is to look at how they can start right where they are. Once you know what you love--once you are clear about what matters most and what YOUR vision is for a better world--how can you begin, today, this very moment, to embody that?

It changes everything.

Meaning in life is created by living fully. Nothing less. No job, no work, no matter how wonderful can give us that gift. It's something we find and create for ourselves. Starting right where we are. Now. Today. With the work that is in front of us. By daring to bring all of who we are to the table every moment. No small order. There is a lot of work that needs to be done by people with heart and soul all connected.

So there you have it. My little rant for the day. You can worry and strive for years to find work you can love or that brings you meaning. Or you can start right now and begin to bring your love and your meaning to the work that you do already. And then see what happens ;-)

First Animated GIF

noreply@blogger.com (iyeshka farmer) — Tue, 7 Jun 2011 23:08:00 -0700

Little learning project inspired by Jim Groom's ds106 Digital Storytelling course and my kids desire to be creators of all things digital. The little man's gonna love it ;-). Thanks Jim for the great and easy to follow instructions. This was created out of 7 separate photos taken randomly of the G-man on the swings this afternoon. Click on the pic to see it work. (At least that's what I have to do...)

Whatever Happened to my blog?.....

noreply@blogger.com (iyeshka farmer) — Wed, 1 Jun 2011 22:42:00 -0700

Okay. I know I’m not the only one. I can trace the decline and fall of my blog directly to the increase in my use of Twitter. Oh, I started out with the best of intentions: I’ll just tweet this kernel, this golden little nugget of what will become a fully fleshed out blog post...tomorrow. Yah. Tomorrow. Or maybe the next day. And as we all know, tomorrow never comes—let alone the next day.

I did notice the pattern, and consoled myself. Well, self, I’d say, all those golden goodies are all safe. Safe as houses, in your twitter account. Even safer, ‘cause I use backupmytweets. And you can go back and mine that rich vein any time you’re ready.

Still waiting.

Hmm. No blog post. More no blog post. Hmm.

So what’s the problem here?

I’d like to propose a theory. It’s a theory that has to do with the energy of human creativity—with the energy of a thought. And with our nature as social animals.

Now, some folks can whack out a blog post in under 20 mins. I’m not one of those. A meaty post from me can take anywhere from 1.5 to 3 hours to craft. That’s a pretty big investment. I get a lot of satisfaction out of just taking that time to sit with my thinking and expand it and explore it and put it out there in pleasing and enlivened language. And in order to make that kind of investment, I propose that I need to be experiencing a deep draw to the idea, or the question needs to be a burning one for me—one that I feel some level of inner compulsion to wrestle with. It is my experience, that once the spark of an idea gets out into the world, something happens in the mind and heart of its creator. There’s a leakage of energy, a subtle dissipation of the inner container. Subtle, but crucial. Without that intense holding of the spark, the inner motivation to fan it into productive fire withers into smoke and blows away at the earliest distraction.

Enter Twitter. The social media tool that is whooshing its way around the planet and into headlines on a daily basis. At first it sounded stupid. 140 characters? What can you say of any relevance in 140 characters? Come on…you know you said it….at first. And then the challenge started. It was a bit like a puzzle, a quest. Could you do it? How much meaning could you squeeze into that little space? We all got a lot more concise. That was one upside.

And then there was the almost immediate ego hit of replies and retweets. And do you remember Follow Friday? That was the second upside.

And how about those lightning conversations? 140 char quips whipping back and forth—maybe at a conference, maybe in the middle of the work day, or perking up a quiet evening at home? Another nice little bit of juice, a minor thrill. Contact. Real-time engagement. Heady stuff. Hard for an old blog to compete with all that.

Because, and I know we’ve almost all had this happen, you pour your guts into a blog post—share the very best of your thinking and feeling and wondering—and….nothing. No comments. No way of knowing if anyone even really read it—or was moved by it or stopped a moment to think. Pretty hard to sustain that over the long haul. Especially when the new kid on the block is so responsive.

So by sharing the nuggets out into the Twittersphere pre-maturely and by feeding off of the insta-hit of almost real-time feedback, I’ve fallen into a self-made morass and succumbed to the tyranny of 140 chars. And my own and a long human history of sober reflection and composition goes flushing away down the intertubes.

I’m not blaming Twitter. I’m in control of what I share and when. And turning this trend around for myself at least, is not going to be an easy task. But it’s one that I propose is worth the effort. There is something very special that happens when an individual chooses to spend time arranging their thoughts for the careful consideration of others. An important human legacy of investment in stillness, and focus and thought. Deep thought. We can’t afford to lose that. So if you find that like me, your blogging has dropped off, consider what I’ve written. See if it rings true in any way for you. And then perhaps crack open that keyboard, make a nice hot cup of tea, and invite your thoughts to the virtual page once more.

Just Say NO To Calvin Klein

noreply@blogger.com (iyeshka farmer) — Tue, 26 Oct 2010 20:44:00 -0700

Okay, so the marketing demons over at Calvin Klein have done it again. And this is the end for me. The latest ad is making hay with gang rape. I'm so done. Boycotts are not working. It's time we took one of these guys down--so maybe the others will pay attention and clean house seriously. So please join me in ending all patronage of Calvin Klein--for good--for ever. I also encourage you to scrounge through your closets and recycling depots and thrift stores for any CK you can find and return it in whatever condition to any local retailer that sells CK. Let's make it soooo damn inconvenient to carry this stuff that they stop.

Here's a link to a story about the ban of the ad in Australia. Marianne Williamson is also calling for a movement to ban it in the US.

You can email Calvin Klein to let them know how you feel.

Please help make this go viral by spreading it to all of your networks.

My letter to them is below:

To Whom It May Concern,

Calvin Klein has built it's brand around the objectification, exploitation, and sexualization of human beings--both male and female. You have repeatedly been requested to rethink your brand and strategy and you have continued to profit from the degradation of humanity. This latest ad depicting the gang rape of a woman by three men is unconscionable.

I am done with boycotts. I will NEVER buy your products again. I will teach my children NEVER to buy your products--and why. I will promote this complete end to patronage to all of my networks. I will also encourage everyone who already owns your product to return it to where they purchased it. I hope it becomes such a pain to your distributors that they refuse to carry your product.

I don't see any place for the Calvin Klein business in the new, more authentic, essentially humane culture that is emerging in ever-growing numbers. We are done with you. I hope this is the first small chime in the death knell for your company. You contribute nothing significant to improve the world--and are a major player in creating pain for young women and men.

As a practicing psychotherapist I get to clean up the mess that your company has helped to create. I work with survivors of stranger rape, gang rape, date rape, incest, childhood sexual abuse, pornography, serious body image issues including anorexia. Your corporate marketing decisions affect the mental and physical health of millions of young women and men.

I don't expect you to hear this. Others far more eloquent and credentialed than me have lobbied you to no effect. I'm throwing my voice and energy in the way of your corporate bulldozer because my conscience and integrity demand it.

In disgust,
Wendy Farmer

The Edge

noreply@blogger.com (iyeshka farmer) — Sun, 18 Jul 2010 10:31:00 -0700

Early morning walk by the sea. In the footprints of those who went down to the water before me. A young deer, raccoons—mother and child, a man—by the size and depth of the print. Following the deer track; a wandering sine wave over sand and shingle. Crab tracks. Tiny paired pinches over the ripples made by waves.

The surf flowing over and swirling around my calves. I feel the tug and pull of the sea. A gentle lure, here at the shallow edge of vastness. My mind bites the bait, swallowing down more than I want. Imagination diving far out—whales move out there, the unspeakable depths of the abyss. This ocean once full of monstrous beasts. It birthed and held them; stroking the sinuous lethality like a lover. A rippling terror flutters at the edges of consciousness.

This sea which has birthed and devoured so much life over billions of years. My feet, my tiny solitude, dipping carelessly into its margins. The vastness of it all overwhelms me. Because it is in me too. This unstoppable force. Each microscopic cell full of an ocean of its own. Pulled by the same forces, tidal risings and fallings. Busy birthing and devouring my body. This same water, this same ocean, from mother to mother, cell to cell, down from the beginning in an unbroken line of life.

Terror flutters dark wings patterning the brilliant light of awe. Perhaps this is the closest we ever come to physically touching the divine infinite. This human body, standing at the edge of the sea.

My Best or Not My Best; That is the Question

noreply@blogger.com (iyeshka farmer) — Fri, 25 Jun 2010 22:14:00 -0700

I have been doing some thinking inspired by a request from @SirHendrix that I consider sharing some of the bitter pills I have been swallowing that have been doing me so much good. One of them swirls around the various permutations of doing my best. The hardest and bitterest variation is what happens when I do my best and it’s not enough. When I have done everything I know how, as well as I know how, and still I am unable to protect or save or heal what I love. Just breathe in the pain of that for a moment. Feel the grief. Feel it sober you.

When I breathe that in and then shine that sobered light onto other behaviours that I might quantify as ‘my best’ a lot of them look pretty shabby. Then I have to be careful. It is very easy—with the lifetime of conditioning I have—to become harsh. To judge myself as wanting and failing—to take that energy and screw myself up to be better, to do more. This ultimately fails, producing more harshness or depression, or self-hatred. Harshness is not the answer.

Nor is blind compassion. I could look at the shabbiness of my efforts and say, well, I did my best. I made the best effort I could given the circumstances. Sounds pretty lame already doesn’t it? But let’s really do it justice: remember self, you are enough, you do enough. You are a good person. You do a lot. You work hard. You need to accept yourself just as you are now. Breathe in light, breathe out suffering. (It’s starting to get its claws in now isn’t it?) Hold the small self gently. Breathe in compassion for the one who failed. She has so much on her plate. She needs care too. (Are you entering the lotus position yet? I feel my fingers forming a mudhra as I type.) If I just seek refuge in the triple gem all will be well. I will be mindful of my failings and shortcomings…totally accepting of all that I am not. Blind compassion is not the answer. It leaves me unaccountable for my behaviour and the harm I may have done.

So what is? Well this is where we get into my favourite territory—the paradox—that beautiful quality of the Mysterious Absolute that allows many things to be true, even opposing perspectives. So, were the shabby efforts my best?—well, if I am wandering about behaving unconsciously ( oh come on! We all do it!) then yep, what I did was ‘my best’ in that moment. Now, when I regain consciousness, or finally attain it (here’s hoping, eh), I now have a new perspective. What does my response need to be? That I need to take responsibility for the newly revealed shabbiness of the behaviour. That I need to summon the courage to make amends. That I need to attend to growth. That I need to follow my sense of shame, not towards harshness or unskillful compassion, but towards integrity.

And to do that I have to sit with it, hell, to sit in the middle of the big stinking morass of it and get really intimate with it—body, mind, heart and soul. (Sounds like a whole buncha fun, doesn’t it?) You might try it. I offer you—Integrity—the wave of the future. (Yeh, sure….right….that’ll happen….)

Integrity is the answer to my best. Integrity is hard. It takes guts. It costs friends and family, lifestyles and livings. It weighs as much as absolute responsibility. And holds the keys to true freedom under a blaze of unrelenting light.

Bitter as it may be, I have developed a taste for it. And it’s doing me a lot of good.

Deep thanks to Robert Masters for encouraging me to explore this further in writing.

NB: To be clear, when I speak of blind compassion, I am not speaking against having compassion for the self, merely that that compassion needs to be grounded. Blind compassion is a term used to designate an unskillful application of compassion that uses it to avoid unpleasant realities or responsibilities rather than as an aid to facing them.

Avatar or Avarice

noreply@blogger.com (iyeshka farmer) — Sun, 6 Jun 2010 21:02:00 -0700

I know it's beautiful. I know it's cool. I know Sigourney Weaver kicks ass. I know everybody and her cat loves it. But as i watched Avatar, as what i was watching, the story being told, dawned on me, a rage began to grow inside me. It built until by the end of the movie, i was numb to little else.

This is not the story of some fictional planet called Pandora. This is not merely a dumbed down environmental allegory designed to promote 'the liberal agenda'. Its merits as a dubious vehicle of increased environmental awareness for the masses notwithstanding: in my eyes it is a crime and a travesty of appropriation on a monumental level.

The story at the heart of the movie Avatar is not fiction. It is the real life pain and struggle of indigenous people across our planet. They are not acknowledged anywhere. The obscene profit the movie has made is not flowing to them. Their pain, their blood, informed the plotline of this movie. And once again they are erased, invisible, irrelevant to getting on with making money. We get to feel all gushy about some blue giant aliens. I guess it's safe to let ourselves see and hear their truth--they're not real after all. We can't be accused of exploiting THEIR culture. Can we?

Right?

Well I do. I will. Avatar is one more f*&%%$# monument to avarice. It exploits the genuine pain, grief, loss, courage and unbelievable commitment of indigenous people across the globe, and particularly in the Amazon. This is not fiction (except the part where the oppressed actually win). This is the daily bread of those who live in biospheres unlucky enough to contain resources required to support our way of life. (Yes mine, yours--stop looking for someone else to point the finger at and suck it up buttercup.)

But, but, you say, what about those fabulous lines like: "We have nothing they need." Sigh. Again it is so convenient not to see ourselves as part of the system. THAT'S WHAT INTERCONNECTED MEANS PEOPLE! Of course we have things they need and they have things we need. And most of what that really is we'll never know consciously--but it's true nonetheless.

It's about respect. Little word, big deal. Respect life, all life. Including you, us. Until we see ourselves as intrinsic elements of the larger whole, we continue to be bystanders--and complicit in the destruction of cultures and biospheres. So stop feeling guilty. Feel the shame; let it in and let it awaken genuine dignity of self and purpose. (Sounds contradictory i know, but try it, it works)

There is nothing about Avatar that will make me get up on my feet; but i do fall to my knees when i think of those with so little resource who day after day offer up their energy, their bodies, and their lives to protect sacred land.

So maybe instead of shelling out another $20 for the fab folks up at Fox; maybe you want to give a rerun of Avatar a miss and send your cash to an indigenous land protection charity like this one: http://www.altaimir.org/

Or maybe even do YOUR OWN research and find a little piece of the planet that matters to you and try to save that--instead of distracting yourself (NOW IN 3-D!) until it's way too late.

To indigenous people: I am sorry that once again your culture, your history, your pain, and that which you hold sacred, have become fodder for our entertainment and profit.

Now excuse me, i need to throw up.

Unconditioned Love

noreply@blogger.com (iyeshka farmer) — Sat, 17 Oct 2009 01:50:00 -0700

It's not unconditional love i yearn for, it's unconditioned love. Love without objects. Love that arises sublimely from the very process of being alive.

While we may strive for unconditional love, it is an ideal we can no more than aspire to until we have faced our own conditioning. And that can be the work of a lifetime. Finding and then facing our conditioning takes courage and devotion.

How can i love you unconditionally, without projecting any of my shadows or demons or angels onto you unless i have become intimate with them? Unless i know them in every dimension? Until i have freed them from being anything other than what they are? Than what i am?

What does unconditional love mean anyway? Does it mean nothing more than a non-negotiation? Is merely an absence of transaction? I don't think so, although that is how many people see it. I hear others talk about wanting to be loved by another who won't put terms on the relationship or who will love them just the way they are. In their words i hear the desire for both freedom and intimacy. In their eyes i see fear and pain and self-doubt. In their souls i see chains.

To me unconditional love, is really unconditioned love. The love that arises when we are at one with What Really Matters. With what Is. Whatever you want to call that, Spirit, Universe, God. And yourself. How can you/I love anyone until we can love ourselves. Fully. All of our disowned and unloved and ugly and inconvenient and imperfect and plain disappointing moments/parts/habits/behaviours/histories. Because these self-judgements arise from our conditioning. From the values we learned early, early. And they create our suffering. And our loneliness. And our unlovedness. Our joylessness.

I yearn for a love that is not based on objects. Me included. No wendy-thing. I feel an increasing longing, a pull towards a love that arises ever-fresh, in each moment Now, from the source of all-that-is. It arises as joy in my center--from my core. It arises all around me. And i believe that in relationship it is no different. It is merely the recognition of that ever-present arising in another. The beloved.

The beloved may be self, the beloved may be child, the beloved may be partner, the beloved may be Source. Love arises, unconditioned from the center. We are always held in that grace.

Breathe in the grit of this moment, breathe out a spark of joy. Breathe in the love of the sacred ground you stand on in this moment, breathe out a full-blooded breath HAH! and feel your feet on the earth.

What are the stories you tell yourself about love? What don't you love about yourself? Why? What parts of you have been colonized by the loveless lies of modernity? Where is joy? When did you feel it last? Look there. Then look deeper.

Unconditioned love arises in each moment for each of us. It's there. Always. Like the space between breaths. Hidden sometimes behind dragons we fear to confront. And so i yearn for it. Not having challenged all my dragons yet. The yearning itself grows sweeter each day. So i learn to love what is unresolved in myself. And take another small step closer to the joy that never fades.

A bit of Pratchett for your enjoyment

noreply@blogger.com (iyeshka farmer) — Sun, 14 Jun 2009 10:38:00 -0700

Been Tweeting a bit of Terry Pratchett's brilliance and so, for the uninitiated and old fans both, here is a bit of classic Pratchett from "Hogfather". This excerpt occurs near the end of the book and is a conversation between Death and his granddaughter, Susan (Death talks in caps, of course):

Susan: "...You're saying humans need...fantasies to make life bearable?"

REALLY? AS IF IT WAS SOME KIND OF PINK PILL? NO. HUMANS NEED FANTASY TO BE HUMAN. TO BE THE PLACE WHERE THE FALLING ANGEL MEETS THE RISING APE.

"Tooth fairies? Hogfathers? Little..."

YES. AS PRACTICE. YOU HAVE TO START OUT LEARNING TO BELIEVE THE LITTLE LIES.

"So we can believe the big ones?"

YES. JUSTICE. MERCY. DUTY. THAT SORT OF THING.

"They're not the same at all!"

YOU THINK SO? THEN TAKE THE UNIVERSE AND GRIND IT DOWN TO THE FINEST POWDER AND SIEVE IT THROUGH THE FINEST SIEVE AND THEN SHOW ME ONE ATOM OF JUSTICE, ONE MOLECULE OF MERCY AND YET---AND YET YOU ACT AS IF THERE IS SOME IDEAL ORDER IN THE WORLD, AS IF THERE IS SOME . . . SOME RIGHTNESS IN THE UNIVERSE BY WHICH IT MAY BE JUDGED.

"Yes, but people have got to believe that, or what's the point--"

MY POINT EXACTLY.

THERE IS A PLACE WHERE TWO GALAXIES HAVE BEEN COLLIDING FOR A MILLION YEARS. DON'T TRY TO TELL ME THAT'S RIGHT.

"Yes, but people don't think about that."

CORRECT. STARS EXPLODE, WORLDS COLLIDE, THERE'S HARDLY ANYWHERE IN THE UNIVERSE WHERE HUMANS CAN LIVE WITHOUT BEING FROZEN OR FRIED, AND YET YOU BELIEVE THAT A . . . A BED IS A NORMAL THING. IT IS THE MOST AMAZING TALENT.

"Talent?"

OH, YES. A VERY SPECIAL KIND OF STUPIDITY. YOU THINK THE WHOLE UNIVERSE IS INSIDE YOUR HEADS.

"You make us sound mad."

NO. YOU NEED TO BELIEVE IN THINGS THAT AREN'T TRUE. HOW ELSE CAN THEY BECOME?

Vital skill for forging our future

noreply@blogger.com (iyeshka farmer) — Thu, 11 Jun 2009 22:16:00 -0700

I am a long time member of the Open Space Listserve. There are a lot of amazing folks and deep thinkers over there. Today my dear friend and OS colleague, Doug Germann, posted this quote:

It is their presence in the whole, and the fact that they are helping the life of the whole, which gives them their individual life....Italics in original. Christopher Alexander, The Nature of Order: An Essay on the Art of Building and The Nature of the Universe, Book One: The Phenomenon of Life, p 431

Doug followed that up with his own observations and one of his wonderful questions:

What I am seeing here as an inside-out truth, is that in a group we do not lend the group our individual life, it goes somewhat the other way round about. What gives us our individual existence and life is our presence in the group, our helping of the group; in turn the others helping the group give us life. We intensify each other.

Can this be true?

So i chimed in and here is an expanded version of my reply:

Yes. It's about Circles of Belonging, Doug.

Don't we feel most alive when we know we are truly significant? That our existence matters essentially to another? We can only see that truly reflected in the eyes of our community.

It explains modern existential angst. Without true community and a way to find our place in it--we find life deadened, numbing, meaningless. The same thing is mirrored in organizations. We have largely managed (all puns intended) to engineer an inhuman context for ourselves. If we are to create a future where we and all the other species on our planet can thrive, we will need to understand the need for authentic significance deeply and begin working to acquire the skills and instincts to provide this to each other in the way we live and work together.

Re-membering and re-claiming the skills and patterns of connecting to the whole is a vital process for our future. There are ways of being in community that we have forgotten (and many of us never learned). And i don't just mean human community; i mean the WHOLE. We also need to feel, really experientially, in our bones, feel our connection to earth and cosmos and all the life in it.

I see groups working to emerge these ways of being. Aikido is one place. We work there on ourselves within a community of care, to understand the deeper connections between us; how our intentions intertwine, how our energy flows and merges, how we can learn to treat each other with delicacy. As one teacher said, "Aikido is about caressing the soul". It is one of the places i feel seen and feel welcomed to see others.

I see the Non-Violent Communication community working to build the skills for verbally connecting in ways that we can truly give appreciation to each other. Working to learn and teach how to communicate in ways that honour the self and the other, without harm.

Again i am finding it hard to put words to this knowing. In order to thrive in complexity, we need each other like never before and yet we are stuck in this vise of not having the skills we need to live and work well together. That is the work i am passionately engaged in now. How can we transform ourselves into who we need to be to thrive? I have found that this work takes great personal courage to engage in. We all carry the grief around of the wounds we have received from those who were supposed to see and love and appreciate us and who didn't. So many are walking numbed, and deadened. So many of us don't even know how to accept appreciation and love when we are exposed to it.

So i say, these skills and patterns of connecting to the whole (self, family, community, world, cosmos) are vital to our future. Vital to our individual and collective health. Vital to life. We need to re-learn, to co-create, to co-emerge these skills and patterns of working and living well together.

We will know we have arrived when, as Harrison Owen has recently pointed out, Open Space Technology is just one of the ways we do things. I believe the deep inner resonance for this sense of one's place in the whole is what many people experience and enjoy about Open Space. And Aikido. onegai shimasu O Sensei. I don't want to bore all you non-aikidoists, but there is a jewel at the center of Aikido--a sparkling diamond gift of finding the connection to each other and the whole that gives us life.

Where have you found this resonance?

Change is dead.

noreply@blogger.com (iyeshka farmer) — Tue, 19 May 2009 13:31:00 -0700

What?!? I hear you say. Change is dead? But isn't everybody talking about the pace of change, change management, how to be more resilient in the face of change? And the Buddhists in the group are going, but, everything is change, change is all. Yep. And that's the point actually.

The problem, as i see it, is that the word, change, has gathered to itself a terrible gravity and that is creating a damaging and painful illusion. Many people, if we're being honest about it, see change as what happens between the disruption of one status quo state and the emergence of another. And that assumption/belief/mindset/illusion served us okay while we lived in a largely simple or complicated world. The challenges we faced responded to analysis and our solutions were largely repeatable. Solutions also tended to be effective over relatively long periods of linear time. Hence the illusion of a status quo state that experienced episodes of change.

Enter the age of complexity. Our challenges are now complex. They don't readily yield to analysis, but demand of us new skills like pattern seeking and new ways of working together like collaboration (yes, new, but that's another conversation). Our solutions are seldom repeatable (although they may inform future challenges in an evolutionary way) as our challenges are embedded in unique contexts and histories. Our solutions converge in an evolutionary flow, each leading us in a spiraling pattern to the next iteration of the challenge. No more home base. No more status quo.

Welcome to chaos. Complexity if that scares you less. So, i say, "change is dead", to shake you awake. To invite you to loosen your grip on the idea of the shore and take the plunge into the flow. The pace of change isn't increasing. The degree of complexity is. The distance between the temporary handholds in the stream flowing from evolving now to evolving now is lessening. I am inviting you to learn to swim before they disappear altogether.

I am keeping some distance from the statement "change is all there is", because i am now seeing that as an illusion referencing an illusion. I am proposing that the ever-emergent flow is all there is. Take that into your body for a moment and see if there is a different response.

And how do we respond to that? With self-organization, like we always have. Like there was ever anything else. Only now, we can choose to do it consciously. We can choose to learn and create processes that leverage the power of emergence, of context, of relationship, of questions. So let go of change. It is a concept that no longer serves us or our organizations. It locks us in a jail of false hope and is creating increasingly disastrous consequences. We are simply in the flow of the ever-emergent. We shape our present and future through our collective intention. Might as well step up and start taking responsibility for what you care about and see who else shows up.

The journey to this place is not simply one of mind. To thrive here, we need integrated mind/body/heart/soul systems. We need all channels online and functioning.

Our organizations need a much better understanding of what level of response is necessary and how best to support those responses. Change Management?--bah humbug! How about Complexity Response Management? Or maybe Systems Resilience Patterning? Emergence Driven Strategic Leveraging? Strangely Attractive Critical Juncture Processing? Okay, now i'm having too much fun. What's your two-cents?

NB: A little esoterica for the aikidoka in the crowd: ever-emergent flow: Takemusu. (from calligraphy by O Sensei: Takemusu Aiki has descended and its energy can be felt everywhere.)

New poem up at oneplacemostsacred

noreply@blogger.com (iyeshka farmer) — Thu, 30 Apr 2009 22:56:00 -0700

Well, after a very long hiatus, i have just posted a new poem up at my other blog. It's called Opening to the spring within. You can view it at oneplacemostsacred.

So ends a wonderful Poetry month and Poem in my pocket day. The poem i found in my pocket (really) is one of my favourites. "Wild Geese" by Mary Oliver.

You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
for a hundred miles through the desert repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.
Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
are moving across the landscapes,
over the prairies and the deep trees,
the mountains and the rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,
are heading home again.
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting —
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.

Is #twitter changing #blogging?

noreply@blogger.com (iyeshka farmer) — Thu, 23 Apr 2009 22:45:00 -0700

Anyone else noticing that we are witnessing a #tippingpoint? Something happened about 3 weeks ago with #twitter that moved it from the emerging edge to the mainstream. Just about everyone i know, including me started tweeting. Non-tweeters are already complaining about twitter updates on Facebook. #Hashtags are appearing everywhere. I'm contemplating filing to add an @ sign as my first initial. (okay, not really)

What i have noticed is that i am more conscious about what i put in the first 140 chars of my blog posts. That it sets the context and gives a good idea of the content of the post. I know this isn't and won't become an absolute. But there is certainly a solid awareness of all of the different places this will now show up and the different ways people will be looking to assess context and content.

Also, i am finding that i am turning to twitter as my main platform for watching for trends, emergent information, and new connections--rather than blog feeds or other aggregators. I am finding the enforced 140 char limit awesome in terms of helping to manage the signal to noise ratio.

As Bryan Alexander tweeted today:

"Managing feeds, in addition to (or instead of) managing items, is an aspect of digital literacy that’s only just emerging" - J. Udell

Thank goodness, it's not just me whose struggling to figure out how to manage all of the incredible amount of content generated. And how to leverage these interconnected flows of information, insight and opinion.

I am very curious to see how this will continue to unfold and how quickly we will see hashtags and @-signs become ubiquitous.

The other pattern that intrigues me is the speed with which this happened. I believe, if my understanding of his tweets are correct, that Neil Gaiman celebrated his 100,000 follower and his 333,333 follower within about 10 days of each other. My thought is that the 'viral' nature of the web is evolving and becoming more powerful. I struggle with the term 'viral' because it feels like it is a metaphor that is obscuring the deeper nature of what is happening here. The ecosytem (if i may use the term) of the internet is evolving. With its self-organizing, complex adaptive systems becoming more mature and robust. The interconnections are beginning to approach the level of those found in nature: like in a nervous system. This took a while and it looks to me like we are arriving at a level of complexity and fluidity that will make some very powerful things possible. Not judging good or bad, just noting the power factor.

What are you noticing? Any thoughts?

Easter on Gabriola

noreply@blogger.com (iyeshka farmer) — Sat, 11 Apr 2009 22:47:00 -0700

This year was a special one: the 10th Anniversary of our Community Easter Egg Hunt. It was held at the Commons for the second time and it is such a special location. I feel so grateful to have this kind of community space. The Gabriola Commons is 26-acres of community coordinated land with an agricultural focus.

We were treated to a concert by the Juno-nominated, Gabriola-grown band the Kerplunks. (And they sang the new Lego song!) And then the wild hunt was on! Imagine a hundred or so 2-12'ers making like fox and hounds over the fields and through the bushes looking for eggs.

This is just one more reason why i love living here. Moms, Dads, kids, Grandparents, folks who just love kids and have to watch the gaiety--all gathered on the green. Dancing and singing, clapping and cheering. What a rare experience these days to have so much community out for kids. And we were joined this year by eagles and hawks, snakes and ants. Nobody left any litter, everybody had a terrific time, and money was raised to support our local 4-H club. A big cheer to the local businesses--esp. Village Foods and Coast Realty for their steady support.

Lots of pics:

Picnic before the show:

Tina Jones of the Kerplunks pointing out the eagle blessing the beginning of the show!

Everybody watching the show:

Do you like my Easter Bonnet?

Rowan & GranGran

They're Off!!

The Wild Hunt

Searching for the last few

That was fun!

Trust and Collaboration

noreply@blogger.com (iyeshka farmer) — Tue, 7 Apr 2009 23:16:00 -0700

Trust is an essential ingredient in any true collaboration. The most important thing to understand about trust is that it is a result. Not a given, not an expectation--a result of a repeated pattern of behaviour. If you want someone to trust you, you need to demonstrate trustworthiness over time. How much you trust someone depends not only on your past experience of their behaviour, but also on the degree of risk you have shared.

There are two vital components to trust: letting go and engagement. If you want to be trusted you must be prepared to be fully engaged in the interaction. Half-hearted commitment to your actions will not inspire trust. And less than full engagement with the other sends a message to your partner that they may not be safe as your attention is divided or you are distracted. In collaboration this activated focus is so essential. Engagement evokes the energy for the group. Without it collaborations go flat and creativity dries up (because creativity is all about risk engagement).

If you have decided to trust someone, then you need to practice letting go into that trust. Attempting to manipulate a trust relationship by continuing to attach to outcomes or control of the situation, prevents the other from fully participating in the collaboration and inhibits your own performance. It endangers the collaborative effort by disturbing the delicate interplay and dynamics of creativity and emergence. Ultimately, not letting go into trust, once it has been reasonably established, defeats the entire point of collaboration.

NB: Photo is of Saito Sensei demonstrating loading for a hip throw. For practioners please note: head position of uke should have neck fully extended and relaxed down (but this would leave him headless in the photo, so he's holding it up so you can see him).

Pain

noreply@blogger.com (iyeshka farmer) — Sat, 4 Apr 2009 23:37:00 -0700

The degree to which we turn our pain into suffering is the degree to which we obstruct our own healing.

Robert Augustus Masters

I've been engaging with pain a lot the past couple of days. The transitory physical pain of minor illness, the long term emotional pain of grief and heartbreak, the illuminating pain of spiritual exploration of the edges of compassion and conflict, courage and fear.

I am in the middle of a practicum in Integral Psychotherapy with Robert Masters and Diane Bardwell-Masters, so this is not simply a casual exploration. I am learning on myself, nothing new as y'all know, and also on fellow practicum mates and practice clients.

So the edge that fascinates me most is the dynamic space where pain and suffering dance. How quickly one becomes the other and how slowly and how much work it takes to unweave the knot of suffering from around our pain. And when i add on the layer of spirit, it gets even more interesting. Then compassion and its counterfeits enter the arena. Then my aspirations jostle with my abilities of the moment and reality and spiritual ambition spar.

I am amazed at how fast pain converts to suffering. When i pay attention, i find it is such an habituated response. Pain is felt and then almost immediately the storytelling starts. And then we're off into the dramatics of our suffering, the siren call that keeps us asleep. The song of Maya sinuously weaving a tapestry of illusion so tight and fine we mistake it for truth and name it our reality. Humming an addictive distraction from the simple pain that could awaken us--that could align our perception more closely to What-Matters-Most.

I'm still working on how to write about my own inner journey. So until next time, here are some gems i came across in my explorations today. First some lyrics from Melissa Etheridge that tell the harsh truth:

Everybody's got a hunger
No matter where they are
Everybody clings to their own fear
Everybody hides some scar

Precious pain
Empty and cold but it keeps me alive
I gave it my soul so that I could survive
Keeping me safe in these chains
Precious pain

Then some from Robert Masters' new book, "Meeting the Dragon" (avail free here):

Where pain is consciously felt hurt, suffering is the conversion or manipulation of that hurt into some level of melodrama, wherein we are likely so busy acting out --and being literally occupied by--our hurt role that we've little or no motivation to stand apart from or illuminate it.
As we step back from the dramatics of our suffering, we start to see through our role as the sufferer, and to also see our investment in that role.
It is in the conscious and compassionate entry into our pain that we begin to find some real freedom from our suffering.
The healing of pain is found in pain itself. As we become more intimate with our pain, we find that we are less and less troubled by it. Suffering is , among other things, a refusal to develop any intimacy with our pain. In fact, suffering jails our pain.

And from Barbara Kingsolver, some lyric prose:

In my own worst seasons i've come back from the colorless world of despair by forcing myself to look hard, for a long time, at a single glorious thing: a flame of red geranium outside my bedroom window. and then another: my daughter in a yellow dress. And another: the perfect outline of a full, dark sphere behind the crescent moon. Until I learned to be in love with my life again. Like a stroke victim retraining new parts of the brain to grasp lost skills, i have taught myself joy, over and over again.

In solidarity with the broken many,

wendy

More on Coral vMeme

noreply@blogger.com (iyeshka farmer) — Wed, 1 Apr 2009 22:27:00 -0700

More thoughts on Spiral Dynamics emergent Coral vMeme. Inspired by comment on my original post from tenzwarszawy:

...for me Coral would somehow reflect selfishness of Red but on different level where Self is wider and organizing systems according to it's needs would mean setting new standards, paradigms or system metacomments and playing with them with full respect of others needs.
So it is a selfish game but on the level where self is wider than individual ego structure - it's like discovering divine possibilities of mankind reflected in singular entity.
Curious what you think.

The way i see it emerging is this: Yellow is Survival meme transformed. This is where all systems are coming online; all 16+ senses are re-awakening to allow us to connect to immanent dangers and act for survival of self, species, planet. Awareness of transpersonal self, holonic free-agent functioning within holarchies. Turquoise is transformed/transpersonal tribalism. This is being enabled by social media. We are seeing the arising of holonic/holarchical clans within a global tribe consciousness.

So Coral, to me is transformed/transpersonal Warriorship. What you are talking about as the wider sense of self i think is captured by the anarchistic flavour and the following: "Seeks only to express the intent of the energy of the Universe as expressed in personal acts of presence, art, movement, love". This is the fully integrated ego--not transcended ego as many current practices and teachers are promoting, but the integrated ego--the divine experience as body, as human. There is moral fire here. As Marilyn Hamilton coined it to me, "it's the Kick Butt meme". This is warriorship transformed to guardianship. Warriorship arising as and from Being. And the butt is kicked with love in alignment with flow of Being Consciousness.

I like the way you put it: organizing systems according to it's needs, but with full respect of other's needs. This is the holonic nature. A lot of folks are talking about autonomy and radical autonomy in regards this; i challenge this. Autonomy precludes the essential integration of interdependence of the transpersonal perspective that is online for this vMeme. I am preferring to refer to this quality as mature-evolved-Being-centered-holonity. There is definitely, as you point out, a solid sense of unique personal center AND a full integration of interdependence and connection to Being. That is the phenomenon i find present in Aikido. This nurturing of both the unique center and a profound capacity to connect at the level of essence with the other. Language can still fail me. If you haven't experienced it, i invite you to look for a good dojo near you and try it out. (Look for a lot of smiling. That's the hallmark of good Aikido.) Sorry, gotta promote the art whenever i get a chance.

Would love to deepen this conversation. I can tell there is a lot more here if i had a reason to think about it further--and others to think with :)

Foolish blessings to you all

noreply@blogger.com (iyeshka farmer) — Wed, 1 Apr 2009 21:44:00 -0700

A Happy Adventurous April Fool's Day to you all!

Foolishness i engaged in today:

White Rabbit, White Rabbit, White Rabbit as soon as i woke up (I love you Gracie! I miss you Gracie!)
Taught a sleepy Gareth about the tradition and worked on his routine with him (he told the bro's the Easter Bunny had come! TeeHee)
Took myself too seriously. (Only a little..i'm getting MUCH better ;))
Got on the ferry to Nanaimo, got off the Ferry in Nanaimo, took call on cell phone to say meeting was cancelled, turned around and got right back on the ferry from Nanaimo...
Had oatmeal and French Toast for dinner.
Watched Looney Tunes.
Engaged in a little pookoobraznost! (Please help my spelling here dear Rafushka!)
Blogged this (and played with tweeting all day long) I guess you just can't call it Twittering. That really sounds foolish!

Such an open space day. All about letting go and letting come. Being in the NOW. Whatever happens. Integrating it all with a sense of joyous abandon. Inviting intimacy with all that is--warts, alligators, tigers and all.

May you all be blessed with utter foolishness.

May, "I know nothing!" be your battle cry and prayer.

Gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble!

The Venerable Reverend High Dupess, Wendy The Valorous (Church of St. Murphy the Divine); Dr. Wendetta When, Dean of Accidental Education, Titanic University; And Other Mystic Titles Too Arcane to Mention

Third Sector and the current economy

noreply@blogger.com (iyeshka farmer) — Tue, 31 Mar 2009 22:03:00 -0700

While governments are busy bailing out failing banks and corporations, another significant driver of our economy and our society is struggling largely in silence. The so-called Third Sector, also known as Non-Profits or Charities.

An excerpt from the Government Non-Profit Initiative describes the scope and impact of the sector on the BC economy:

The non profit sector contributes an enormous amount to public life in British Columbia. The sector has a substantial economic presence, contributing 6.9 per cent of the province’s GDP and employing 7 per cent of the provincial workforce. The non profit sector employs more than 147,000 people (23 per cent of whom work in hospitals, colleges and universities) – a workforce larger than the total employment in the forestry, fishing, mining and oil and gas industries combined.

The non profit sector reports around $3 billion a year in revenue from provincial government sources, accounting for one-third of the sector’s total revenues. The sector contributes an additional $6 billion into the provincial economy, more than agriculture, forestry, fishing and hunting and on par with mining, oil and gas. Not included in this equation is the monetary value of over 114 million hours in volunteer time mobilized by the sector – the equivalent of 69,000 full time employees.

So, with Canadian media beginning to take some notice, it's time for the rest of us to start speaking up. Canadian charities support our social safety net and are responsible for providing a lot of the services we have come to expect as an integral part of Canadian society. If we want to continue to enjoy the benefits of engaged and healthy communities, we need to step forward and support our local charities. As a fundraiser and organizational consultant, i am inviting leaders in my community to an Open Space-based meeting to plan what we can do to support our local charities in surviving the next three years. I will be suggesting we provide resources and training workshops (for free or cost only) to our local charities to help them prepare for what lies ahead.

So if you have a local (or national) charity that you love, sing their praises, let your local representatives know of your concern, encourage all of your networks to continue to give, and point the charity to this resource as a good place to start for ideas on how to survive.

Web 3.0

noreply@blogger.com (iyeshka farmer) — Mon, 30 Mar 2009 20:57:00 -0700

Just can't stop now i'm started :).

I've been volunteering with a new social change initiative called Sound Connections. Their website will be up shortly. We've started with live meetings: Open Space Tech in a Whole Person Process wrapper. The idea is to create a platform to connect social entrepreneurs with each other and with those who have the skills and passion to support them.

What i've noticed: a new trend that i call web 3.0. We connect online to others who share our passions via web 2.0 social networking tools, then these connections become real-world as we meet in person, or create real-world projects that affect the lives of others. I love this pattern. It feels like the maturation of the promise of the internet. What could have become isolating is becoming a powerful tool for real world transformation and relationship.

It's about time

noreply@blogger.com (iyeshka farmer) — Mon, 30 Mar 2009 20:50:00 -0700

It's about time i started blogging again on a regular basis don't you think?

Not possible to catch up. So just going to jump right in. Lots of new stuff in the cooker. James Lemmer and I are in the final stages of launching our new company: The Collaborative Experience. We have developed highly experiential workshops that include shadow process, genuine contact program, open space technology, integral theory, spiral dynamics, complexity theory and aikido to support teams and leaders working in collaboration locally and globally.

New website up soon. Watch all social media for the launch.

Celebrating an achievement

noreply@blogger.com (iyeshka farmer) — Wed, 3 Sep 2008 00:55:00 -0700

On Sunday, August 31, 2008 i was honoured to receive my yellow belt in Aikido. I have been studying Takemusu Aikido with Victor Arcega Sensei for about 18 months. This has been a long and challenging journey and through it my commitment to this beautiful and transformative art has deepened to become the centering pillar of my life. Receiving my belt was a complete surprise--in our dojo, Sensei awards belts at his discretion when he feels that the student is ready to embrace the next level of responsibility. (And for yellow belt, it also means i don't need to look at my feet anymore! Which means i can now wear a hakama. Woohoo!)

I began this journey hoping to learn some things that would enhance my facilitation skills and support me in my quest to more fully embody my Open Space practice. I have found so much more. I can't really express how much this honour means to me. There were many times when i questioned my ability to manage the demands of the mat. I sometimes felt a bit cheeky about starting a martial art as a 40+ mother of young children with no background in any sport let alone a martial art. And here i was, bad knees, bad back--bad joints in general--out of shape, over-weight and scared as heck walking on the mat to try and learn what is widely regarded as the most demanding of all the martial arts. So let this serve as an encouragement to all of you who think you are too old or out-of-shape to live a dream. Find a group who will support you and go for it. Determination and guts will take you farther than you can imagine from where you sit now.

Which brings me to some appreciations: to my husband George and my parents for supporting me in the most practical way by their willingness to care for my children so i could attend class--even when they didn't understand the appeal (okay, okay, addiction); to my Sensei, Victor Arcega--for sharing his time and energy and irreplaceable knowledge and for creating a dojo where joy and love are what we practice most; to Senpai Floyd Blades for his teaching and sharing of his enthusiasm for this path; to Senpai Christle Blades for being a source of joy, inspiration, encouragement and just plain fun; to my classmates at the Vimy Dojo--Rob, Al, Robert, Miles, Christine, Van and David--and the Gabriola Dojo--Patrick, Judith, Leah, David, Jim, Alex, Jack, Viva, Kim, Daniel--a deep bow to you all for what has passed between us and for coming out to play!; and to Toke Moller for introducing me to the vibrations of Aikido.

And to finish off, the quote from O-Sensei that has upheld me most throughout this first stage of my training:

The Art of Peace begins with you. Work on yourself and your appointed task in the Art of Peace. Everyone has a spirit that can be refined, a body that can be trained in some manner, a suitable path to follow. You are here for no other purpose than to realize your inner divinity and manifest your innate enlightenment. Foster peace in your own life and then apply the Art of Peace to all that you encounter.

domo arigato

The Coral vMeme emerges?

noreply@blogger.com (iyeshka farmer) — Thu, 17 Jan 2008 09:43:00 -0800

Since taking training in Spiral Dynamics with Don Beck a year ago, i have been on the lookout for the first signs of the emergence of the Coral vMeme. I have noticed that there is a parallel between the other first and second tier vMemes. The first tier Beige vMeme is a survival consciousness. Studies of the few extant beige cultures left on the planet have revealed (according to Don Beck, i haven't found a reference for this yet) as many as sixteen senses functioning, including things like remote viewing. We are seeing a re-emergence of these senses in the yellow second tier vMeme. As yellow evolves and expands, in my growing opinion to our bodies innate response to a sense of threat, not so much to the individual as to the species and biosphere. Turquoise echoes Purple. So i am proposing that Coral will echo Red.

If Red is the vMeme of Warriorship, Coral is the vMeme of Guardianship. I am proposing that this vMeme is emerging as a second tier response to the threat posed to life conditions by increasingly Red activity across the planet. I am seeing these traits emerge in advanced practitioners of Takemusu Aikido. My initial explorations are below. Are you seeing these traits anywhere in your experience? Is there any resonance for you?

Coral Vmeme Proposal

The Guardian Self

Sees self as connected to Universal energy, love for all beings, entrusted to guard life in all its forms. Conflict is seen as a path to harmony. Seeks confluence with energy of others and energy of environment. Sees relationships (power & interpersonal) as inter-related ecology of relationship with other radiant, charged, vibrating beings. Does not seek power over others. Does not seek power with others. Seeks only to express the intent of the energy of the Universe as expressed in personal acts of presence, art, movement, love--guardianship. Life and death are approached with an attitude of non-attachment and joy. The core motivation is Service: to the Universe, to others, to life. Body and mind function as an integrated system. Multiple intelligences and expanded senses are fully developed. Learning and work are both expressed as play. Intention forms the core of all action. Anarchistic.

How well do you really know yourself?

noreply@blogger.com (iyeshka farmer) — Thu, 8 Nov 2007 10:20:00 -0800

Well, it got you reading didn't it? A colleague pointed me to Harvard University's Implicit Association Test. This nifty little test uses a random sequence of paired pictures and words to uncover hidden biases in our responses to a variety of cultural groups: African American or White, Old or Young, Straight or Gay, Fat or Thin, Multicultural or Unicultural, and lots of others. It takes about 10 minutes to complete each task. You will be warned that you may not like the results.

I am volunteering facilitation support to the Nanaimo committee planning our Dialogue on Multiculturalism sponsored by the Province and SFU Centre for Dialogue. I was naturally curious about what this tool might show and how useful it seemed for training and other awareness raising activities. It is very simple and quick to use. I would like to hear from others who have tried it to see what you think of its accuracy.

How did I do? Well as usually happens, I'm in the 2% minority. I apparently have a moderate preference for marginalized groups. This doesn't surprise me all that much. I have done a lot of unlearning racism work and for the past three years have been actively delving deep to root out unconscious colonized places in my heart and mind. And as a stealth radical and someone who is not very comfortable with mainstream culture, it's not really surprising that I might feel more warmly towards marginalized folks.

So give it a try and let me know what you think.
Cheers all!