Word Strumpet

The China Cabinet Syndrome

2009-06-29T10:11:25-07:00

A couple weeks ago my dining room table was covered with china, cut glass, pitchers, and an odd assortment of knick-knacks. This was all stuff brought over from my Mom's house, which we were cleaning out before an estate sale.

I was really happy with all the things I'd claimed but the problem was that I needed to find room for them in my china cabinets. A quick glance at the already bulging cabinets let me know that finding room was going to be quite the chore. So I procrastinated.

I'd walk through the dining room, pause, look at the table, look at the china cabinets, and not see any way to make this happen. It was going to take a massive reorganization and I simply didn't know where to begin. So I procrastinated more.

Finally, as is so often the case, I was backed up against the wall. We were having people over for dinner and so I absolutely had to get the china put away. I opened the cabinet door and figured out a plan of action. But then a funny thing happened. Once I started working and putting the china away, I realized that my plan wasn't going to work after all. However, by then it didn't matter because another, better, plan, revealed itself to me. And all the china got put away with relative ease.

As I arranged tea cups and stacked plates, I thought about how often this happens in writing. You start out desirous of writing something--a novel, an essay, a short story--but don't know how to begin. You finally come up with a plan of action, and then you labor under the delusion that you will actually follow that plan. But once you get going on the work, once you are in the china cabinet, so to speak, you realize that the writing wants to go a completely different way.

But here's the key: you would never have found that way if you hadn't just waded in. Found a place to start and began. My dining room table would still be covered with china if I hadn't begun following my initial plan of action. Many a piece of writing would still be left unwritten if we all waited for the grand plan to reveal itself.

So remember the China Cabinet Syndrome and plunge in. You'll find room in that cabinet for everything you need.

Death, Rebirth, and Writing

2009-06-24T11:41:01-07:00

It has come to my attention that my absence from writing posts has been noticed. I was hoping I could slide under the missing blogger wire and nobody would care. And I am thrilled that such is not the case.

So, an explanation is in order. Over the last couple of months, my 92-year-old mother's health took a nose dive. Up until January, she had been living alone in my childhood home. On the first day of this year, she fell and broke her hip and as is so often the case, everything went downhill from there. For the last couple of months my sister and I have not only been dealing with her care, searching for a nursing home and a foster home and dealing with Medicare (now there's a fun chore), but we also sold her house, had an estate sale, and cleaned everything out of it. The house was in the family for 70 years, so this was no small chore.

Mom died on June 11, peacefully, after her family had kept a vigil at her side for many hours. I miss her terribly and sometimes I forget that she is dead, thinking that I'll just pop up and visit her. Then I remember.

But I also feel strangely at peace with it now, knowing that both her mind and body were failing and she would not have wanted to live in a diminished state. She led a wonderful life, as she would be the first to say, and that is a comfort, too. (You can read her obituary here.)

And there are good things that have come from this time in my life--increased closeness with my sister and other family members, for one. And a budding feeling that I want to use my remaining time on this planet to accomplish good and many of my goals. I've got new ideas bubbling up, both for my personal writing and for projects that will be of service, I hope, to writers.

So stay tuned. I'm planning to begin blogging again on a regular basis next week, after Mom's Celebration of Life is over and all the relatives and friends have returned home.

In the meantime, thanks for sticking with me and caring that I've been gone.

Writing Flow: Turning Off the Worry Faucet

2009-04-24T16:36:25-07:00

A few days ago I wrote a post titled, What About Not Writing? which pondered the question of whether it was ever a good idea to take a break from writing. As is often the case, the post garnered some interesting responses, because, well, I have fabulously interesting readers (Brief aside: as a general rule, writers are the most fabulously interesting people in the world, except for the occasional odd duck crank).

Some commenters echoed my thought that writing is so much a part of me it is hard to imagine taking a break from it. And others mentioned the value of taking a break to refill the well (a concept which I heartily endorse, as long as that break doesn't stretch out too long).

But one commenter, Rebecca, lamented the fact that it is so easy to let the demands of daily life get in the way of writing. She inquired how I cleared away my mind to be able to write and asked that I write a post about this topic. So here it is.

Clear it Out. For starters I think its really important to cultivate some way to clear your mind. Meditate, pray, write in your journal for a few minutes to get your yas-yas out, take a quick walk, whatever helps you to clear your brain. Even taking a few deep breaths when you sit down to write can really help.

Set an Intention. You probably have some sort of goals for your writing, such as, finish a novel, write a screenplay whatever. Take that goal, chunk it down into a doable task, and then set an intention. For instance, I am going to write 3 pages today. Or, I will finish the rewrite of chapter 10. Then, when you sit down to write, remind yourself of this intention by closing your eyes, taking a deep breath, and repeating it several times out loud.

Ask for Help. And I don't mean from your family. Ask whatever higher power you might believe in to guide you and help you to stay focused. If you don't believe in a higher power, ask your higher self.

Use Your Subconscious. This falls into the Be Prepared category. Take the time to look at whatever it is you want to write about the day before. I know, I know, you don't have time. Listen, everyone has five minutes. Forget about the first five minutes of American Idol (it's just Ryan blabbering anyway), open your file, scan it quickly, ponder what you need to do next, close the file, go watch TV. This helps way more than the time it takes to do it. You'll get your brain engaged and ready to work and be focused, which makes it easier to turn off the worry faucet.

Keep a Notebook Handy. Keep a small notebook or scratch pad right next to your computer. If you get one of those distracting worry thoughts, pause for one minute and write it down. You need bread at the store? Write it down. You remembered an appointment? Write it down. Then make a habit of checking over these notes at the end of your writing session and dealing with them accordingly. Note the appointment on your calendar, make your grocery list, whatever.

Keep An Idea Notebook Nearby. Same theory as above, only for ideas. Many creative types start working on one project, only to think of 20 others. I'm taking the Complete Idealist Blissness Action Camp course from Marney Makridaris, and she talks about Complete Idealists as creative types who sometimes struggle because of how differently we think. She recommends using an idea file as a way to harness all your brilliance without losing your train of thought. I used to keep an idea journal, but I'm so visual, if I don't see something, its gone from my mind, and all my ideas got buried. Now I use a cool open-topped wooden file box that came from my Dad's long-defunct printing plant. Added bonus is that I think of him every time I put in or pull out an idea.

Start With Negativity. I know, sounds counter-intuitive, no? But the idea is to just give into it. Rant and rave. Complain about how over-worked you are and how wretched your children are. Wail about how much you don't want to do everything on your to-do list. Write all your negative thoughts down, or think them, or shout them, whatever you want. Set a timer and limit it to five minutes. There. Now all the bad stuff is out of your brain, freeing you to write.

So there you have them, my best ideas to keep your brain clear while writing. Stay tuned, because coincidentally I have a post on a similar topic drafted. I will put it up in the next couple days. And, for those of you who have not subscribed to my ezine, The Creative Equation, please do, as the next issue is all about The 7 Essentials for Creative Flow, which are the bedrocks of my writing process.

What About Not Writing?

2009-04-20T20:31:30-07:00

A couple weeks ago, I wrote about creativity with a purpose. As usual, I banged the drum for writing on a regular basis. (This is a familiar subject matter for me, as attested to by these posts, too: Getting Up at 5 AM, Techniques for Writing Flow, and Ah, But Here's the Rub, to name only a few. I can't help it, its what I do!)

For me, and many writers I know, it simply works better to find some time to write very day, or as close to it as possible. The reasons are many, but mostly boil down to one word: momentum. Like the proverbial rock rolling down a hill and going faster and faster, your writing will gather speed if you attend to it regularly. If you don't, there's a lot of time wasted on catch-up, such as trying to remember what the last name of your character is, or in what chapter the murder occurred. Things like that.

But recently I found some notes from an old MFA lecture (I'm doing a massive purge of papers in my office). The topic of said lecture was when to write and when to not write. I was shocked at the not writing part. But then I remembered a conversation I had recently with my friend and fellow novel goddess Katy, and she said that she goes long stretches without writing. The nature of her job (for the above-mentioned MFA program) is such that it is difficult to commit to writing on a regular basis. What she does is go off on intensive week-long writing retreats in which she accomplishes huge spurts of writing.

So I've been wondering about the whole not writing thing. I am always afraid that if I don't write, maybe one of these days I simply won't return to it, which is not bloody likely considering it is the single most consistent obsession of my life. But still, these things I fear do stop me.

Anyone care to make a better case for not writing than I have?

The Rule of Threes

2009-04-15T18:38:02-07:00

I was reading a manuscript the other day and the writer had used a series of two phrases to describe something. My antenna went up and I made a comment that in the American culture, we like things in threes. I've conveniently named this The Rule of Threes, though to my knowledge there is really no such things.

Consider with me:

Tall, dark, and handsome.
Red, white and blue.
Stars and stripes forever.
A dark and stormy night.
The three little pigs.
The three wishes fairy godmothers and genies grant us.

And so on....I'm sure you can think of many more. My point is that we have a cultural predisposition to like things in threes. And when we write them in twos, it is jarring. Our brains go on alert. It is as if we have been robbed. Somebody took the final word, damn them. And then the brain wanders about, looking for the word and its thief as well. And guess what? Said brain is no longer attending to the brilliant words on the page.

Preventing this is simple--write in threes. There's a very good chance that section of your work always bothered, you, too. Admit it, you know its true.

Photo courtesy of Terwilliger911, used under creative commons 2.5 license.

Putting Joy Back Into It

2009-04-13T13:31:08-07:00

I've been slogging through the "final" rewrite of my novel lately.

Its a funny thing with working on a long extended piece over time, such as a novel or a memoir. You rearrange one chapter and this rearrangement uncovers other things that need attention. Thus, more work and more rewriting.

As the days I've allotted for the rewrite stretch into weeks and then months, my will flags. I want to get this novel published more than anything in the world. It has been a lifelong goal to be a novelist. And I think I have a better shot at it with this one than ever before.

But, dear lord, I'm tired of working on it.

The thing is, I also see that this rewrite is making my book into the novel it truly was meant to be. With every rewrite, the novel's characters become truer and the plot gets stronger. Civilians (ie, non-writers) tell me that if an agent likes it, he or she will forgive all the problems and take me on. But I know that the publishing world has always been a tough nut to crack, and now even more so now. While it is tempting to take the civilians' well-meaning advice, throw up my hands and just send it out, as is, I'm holding out to finish this one last rewrite. I know that agents look for the smallest excuse not to take on a client. I know we have to send in our absolute best work. And I'm willing.

But for the last couple of weeks, I've had to flog myself to work on it. Honestly, it is hard enough to fit in time to work on the novel when I'm excited about it, but when the joy is gone its nearly impossible. (The great irony in all of this, of course, is that I teach and coach this stuff--how to make time to write, no matter where you are in the process.)

But this morning, I felt it again--that joy. The energy, the connection, the lift off the page to my heart. So, how did I get it back? And how can you? When I stopped to think about why this might have happened, I realized that I did, in fact, have some suggestions.

1. Show up at the page. This is far and away the most important thing. There's a famous quote by Woody Allen, something to the effect that "90% of success is just showing up." So true. Some days I showed up and sat and stared, but such effort is eventually rewarded with a flow of words. The universe and the muses look kindly upon consistency.

2. Take a break. I know, I know, contradictory advice. First I tell you to show up, then I tell you to not show up. What I'm advocating here is taking a planned break. Allow yourself to get totally and completely away from it without guilt and do something replenishing. (Julia Cameron calls it the artist's date.) The key here is the planning. I fall into the bad habit daily of taking an accidental break by checking out the latest news on the internet. But this is far less renewing than if I actually stepped away from the computer and took a planned break. Figure out what relaxes and renews you and then go do it. You can take a big break--like a whole morning off--or a little break, like a quick walk around the block.

3. Accept you are in a different place. If you are in the rewriting phase, like me, It is not the initial place of invention and excitement, but rather an area of discernment and editing. If you need invention and excitement, take notes for another project. Being in this different place you are not necessarily going to feel the joy of creation as when you first began it. For me, just realizing this in a conscious manner paved the way to get back to work.

So those are my suggestions and if anyone has any more, I'd love to hear them. All of this pondering on getting the joy back has brought up another topic in my mind, namely, when is it time to quit the tinkering and let it go?

Ah, but that is a subject for another time.

Creativity With a Purpose

2009-03-28T17:50:33-07:00

I'm all for creativity--it is the centerpiece of my life. As a writer, I've had to cultivate ways to be creative and stay creative on a regular basis. This includes nurturing ideas, putting them on paper, and developing them into finished pieces, whether those finished pieces are paid work for clients or passion projects for myself. My creativity extends to other areas of my life, too, such as my love of knitting, of arranging (and rearranging) my home, and gardening.

Lately I've been thinking a lot about creativity. Actually, I always think a lot about creativity, as I coach clients and students to be able to access it with ease on a regular basis. But I've been pondering it more deeply as I move toward putting together a true online information business (Ebooks, teleclasses, and coaching, oh my!).

And what I've realized is that most of my work around creativity is very purpose driven. I teach and promote creativity with a purpose--whether that purpose is a book you want to write, a skirt you want to sew, or a painting you want to paint. Don't get me wrong--creativity for its own sake is wonderful. But there are lots of great folks talking about and teaching that kind of creativity. My niche is helping people who need to be creative for a reason blast blocks and get down to it.

I've got a lot of ideas and plans for this niche, so stay tuned. Better yet, subscribe to my newsletter to make sure you stay up to date.

And for those of you whose creative bent tends toward business, I've got a great tip for you. The fabulous Marney at Artella is presenting the beta version of her new teleclass, The Complete Idealist's Blissness Action Camp. and it starts on Monday. Because its the beta version, the class is half-price--IF you register by Monday. I'm signed up for it, and I can't wait--Marney's classes and products are always high value and lots of fun. Either click one of the links in this post or click on the colorful button to the left to sign up.

Getting Up At 5 AM

2009-03-02T20:54:15-08:00

Last week, I set a goal with my friend and fellow writer Roy, that both of us would rise at 5 AM in order to write. The goal was to do it twice last week and three times this week. Since he's in Nashville and I'm in Portland, with a two hour time difference, the idea is that we each email the other when we are up and working. Usually this consists of a terse message along the lines of "up." (Hey, we save our creative energy for the page.)

So, I've managed to rise at 5 AM three times now. In typical fashion for me, today, even though I told myself I could sleep in, it being Monday and all, I woke up all on my own at a little after 5. I have a strong circadian clock, I think.

Since I've now managed to rouse myself from bed three, count 'em, three, times, that makes me an expert. And because I am an expert, I have pronouncements. So here goes:

1. The worst part is the first moment when you open your eyes and groan. Keep your eyes open and get your feet on the floor. It gets better from there--especially when you get some coffee in you.

2. Speaking of coffee, make sure you have some waiting for you, either made by a spouse willing (or having no choice) to get up early also, or via automatic timer. Trust me, you are going to want coffee immediately.

3. Drink a couple big glasses of water before you start on the coffee. Its good for you, and it'll help keep your brain focused. Plus, it will give you an excuse to get up from the computer and use the bathroom.

4. Have a plan. And don't make the plan the morning of, figure it out the night before. This morning, because I didn't really plan to get up so early, I wasn't prepared with a plan and consequently I didn't get as much done.

5. Have a big goal. Mine is to once and for all finish the rewrite of my novel and get it out the door. I want this desperately, so desperately that I'm willing to get up in the dark to write.

6. Be prepared to kick ass and get tons done. Its magical, really. Since I work at home and can generally stay in my jammies all day long if I want to, I usually don't have to quit my morning writing session until 7:30 or 8, depending on what pressing assignments I have. When I get up at 5, I feel like I have a vast expanse of time in which to work, and my brain opens and eases and it is much easier to focus.

7. Don't let those pesky night owl types talk you out of your plan to rise early. It is worth it, trust me. Really, really worth it.

And now, excuse me, its nearly 9 PM and time for me to get in bed. Kidding! Sort of.

She's In a Better Place, I Hope

2009-03-01T20:41:10-08:00

My mother's cat, Emma, came to live with us about a month ago, when it became apparent that Mom was going to be in the nursing home a good long time, like forever.

Emma was as old in cat years as Mom in human years (92), if not older. By our best estimates, she was probably 17 or 18, and she was a decrepit, skinny thing who clearly was not in the greatest of health. Also not the happiest cat you've ever met. I think she was charming and kitty-like when first we got her for Mom, but that was so long ago its hard to remember.

For the past month, she spent all of her time in our kitchen, either on the little rug I put out for her, or in front of the heating vent. Every time the Big Scary Beast (the blind Pug, also getting on in years) came snarfling into the kitchen she either fled (in a slow, awkward way) or hissed and growled at him.

I should have known something was up when in recent days she no longer hissed at Igor the Pug, but seemed to tolerate him. I thought she was mellowing and that maybe someday Emma and Igor would even be friends. I also thought she would live forever, because she was that kind of cat.

Alas, such was not to be. On Friday night we went to a party to celebrate the recent nuptials and when we got home Emma was acting strangely. Still, she always acted strangely and so I petted her and went to bed.

The next morning, at 6 AM, I found her dead, stiff as can be in her litter box (don't ask--I think it was a nice soft spot for her). After the initial surprise and sadness, I felt guilt. Guilt that I hadn't done more, guilt that I'd never really bonded with her, guilt, guilt, guilt. But, come to think of it, guilt is a pretty selfish reaction--it makes the situation all about me when really it isn't.

As a wise friend said, Emma realized that her job--taking care of my Mom--was finished. We did the best we could for her in the short time we had together, but clearly the enterprise was doomed from the start. And so she went on to a better place. The kitchen feels strangely empty and the Pug is wandering around wondering what happened to that nummy wet cat food he could once in awhile nab when nobody was looking. We took her poor little body, with bits and pieces of kitty litter still clinging to it, to my Mom's backyard and buried her beneath a tree where many other pets have gone to their reward over the years.

Ah, life. So many changes already this year, personally and globally. All one can do is hang on tight and hope for the best. And keep loving each other, or the feeble demon cat, or whatever happens to pass into your care. Because, when all is said and done, the secret of life is to love one another. It is just that simple.

The Mother,and Minister, of the Bride

2009-02-26T07:37:02-08:00

A few years ago, a dear friend of my daughter's was planning her wedding and she and her fiancee asked me to become ordained so that I could perform the wedding ceremony. A quick search on the internet turned up Universal Ministries, and a quick check of Oregon's loose marriage laws confirmed that getting ordained on the internet constituted a legitimate ministry in the state's eyes.

And so now I am a minister, complete with wallet size ID card and a handy mirror hanger I could use to snag a parking place outside of a church if I ever had the guts to try it. I've married several couples over the years, and had strangers call and ask me if I'd perform the ceremony for them. The answer is always no--I'll only do it for friends, because the responsibility feels so huge to me. And of course, my beloved daughter and son swore they would never, ever, in a million years ask me to perform the wedding.

Because that would just be weird.

Flash forward to January of 2009, last month to be exact, when my daughter got engaged and began planning a wedding for three weeks hence (last Saturday, to be exact). Her then-fiancee, now-husband is being deployed after coming nearly to the end of his inactive army duty and my daughter was determined to be married before he had to leave.

Good thing she's an event planner by trade. And that lots of people adore her, because that meant that she was able to muster a small army to clean and decorate at the home of my mother (she who, at 92, only last month vacated the house for a nursing home. Its been a busy year.) She found the most gorgeous wedding dress on the planet, ordered tuxes, planned flowers and food. But she still needed a minister to do the ceremony.

And guess who was handy?

Forget weird. She and her fiancee asked me to conduct the wedding with his father assisting. I was honored and thrilled and not the least bit nervous. I've done this before, several times, and in front of way bigger crowds than the small group that would be gathered for this wedding. Everyone asked me if it was going to be difficult and didn't I worry about getting emotional and crying?

Of course not. "I'm not the emotional type," I told everyone. "I am not a crier. I'll be fine. Just fine."

We all know what a trickster the universe is by now. And we also all know how very silly it was of me to think that I could get through my daughter's wedding ceremony without crying. The minute I caught sight of her on her father's arm, walking down the "aisle," the tears started. And flowed throughout the entire ceremony. Which, according to well placed sources, made every single person in the audience start crying.

My adorable son stood next to me and clutched my hand the entire time, much as he did when he was an adorable little boy, only now he was hanging onto me instead of me hanging onto him.

Long story short, it was the best day ever, a perfect wedding from start to finish. Does everyone say that about their weddings? Given the opportunity for drama, probably not. This one was truly glorious, a spectacular day.

And now I can dry the tears and get back to my writing.